She's On The Money - Why 92% of New Year's Resolutions Fail... and How to Be in the 8%

Episode Date: December 31, 2024

Tired of making resolutions that don’t even survive until February? You’re not alone. In this episode, Victoria unpacks why so many goals lose steam and shares psychology-backed strategies to help you avoid the same fate. Whether it’s saving money, building better habits, or tackling your personal goals, this conversation will get you inspired to approach 2025 differently. Ready to be part of the 8% who stick to it? Hit play now! Got big dreams for 2025? Victoria’s Your Best Year Yet course is here to guide you. Packed with actionable steps and practical strategies, it’s your go-to for turning those ambitious plans into reality. Don’t let another year slip by—join us and make 2025 the year of real progress. All the deets here. Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kernai, Wolperi and Awadjeri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjeri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money. She's on the money.

Hello and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast that's here to help you smash your financial goals and live your best life. Now, let's be honest, who here has made New Year's resolutions only to watch them fade away by February. Maybe you promised yourself you'd hit the gym only to end up paying for a membership you barely use. Or maybe you set a big savings goal, but somehow online shopping and brunches kept getting in the way. That happens to the best of us. It sounds like a lot of us, I'm thinking. If that sounds like you, you are in good company. I'm Bex Syed. With me today, as you can hear, is the woman we're all lucky to call our personal financial goals cheerleader, the one and only Victoria Devine.

Hello, happy new year. Happy new year. I'm very excited about this. Bec, it's the time of year where we start thinking about what's next. So today we're talking about New Year's resolutions, why 92% of them don't last, and most importantly, how to be in the 8% who actually succeed. So if you are ready to make 2025 your best year yet, my friend, this episode is for you. oh but i think this is so fun because i am your personal hype girl like whatever you want to do

i'm there you want to buy a pony fantastic you want to go to the gym fantastic you don't want to go to the gym incredible even better even better but we do know the time of year right now is when we start to think about what's next like so today we're going to be talking about news resolutions and why oh depressing but 92 of them don't last and most importantly how you can be in the 8% of people who actually succeed when setting these goals. So if you're ready to make 2025 your best year yet, this episode is for you. So there's something really like satisfying about starting, you know, those big goals on January 1st. It's like new year, new me. New year, fresh slate. It feels so much fresher than like a year regular Monday. You know what I mean?

I mean, in the She's On The Money community, we are like, you don't have to wait for a new year to set new goals. Like you can start anytime, which is true, right? But we'd be lying to ourselves if we said that it doesn't feel extra shiny. It does. Like it's a new diary. Yes. If it's a new diary or a new month or a new page or a new anything, it's like fresh, it's clean. Let's start. Exactly. And do you know what? That's actually a real psych thing, Bec. It's called the fresh start effect. And studies show that, honestly, we've never had an original experience, spec, but studies show that we're more motivated to set goals at the start of a new year or any milestone moment, like maybe a birthday or at the start of a new month, because it does genuinely

feel like a clean slate. It's not just us being like, oh, it feels like that. No, no, no. That's psychological. It's ingrained in us. We actually get the opportunity when we feel like there's a clean slate to separate our past self from our future self, which makes it so much easier to believe that we can start over and achieve big things. I feel like this is like, I hope your DeLulu comes true too. I feel like sometimes you need to lull yourself into a false sense of confidence. Yeah, I agree. Did you go to the gym once this year, Victoria Devine? No, you didn't. Why do you think it's going to happen in January? I don't know, but I am overly optimistic. Yeah. I think that's so funny that we think that on a specific day, we're miraculously going to be

a different person. But we are because it's 2020 Thrive. And we are. Believe you me, we are. So 92% that was a big one. That really does kind of make you feel a bit like, okay, what chance do I have of sticking to this? If you're listening to this, you have all the chance in the world.

We're actually going to do it this year. This year is going to be our year to thrive. Why do so many resolutions fizzle out before February? Just because we, like, are a bit de lulu, if we're being honest. we set some really unrealistic goals and like we're all guilty of it right like while the fresh start effect of a new year can be super motivating it can also make us feel overly ambitious and like i don't want you to downplay your ambition but that does often lead to really big vague goals like i'm gonna save more i'm gonna get really fit what does that even mean beck like sure when we

say I'm going to save more, what do you mean by that? Like, are we setting a realistic goal of like, I'm going to aim to save an extra 20 bucks a week and I'm going to be doing this by X, Y, Z. Or when I say I want to get really fit and I can't do this, so no judgment, I want to be able to do 10 chin-ups in a row. Like we want to set goals that make sense, but also are trackable. So research from the American Psychological Association shows that large undefined goals can quickly feel super overwhelming, which decreases our motivation because they're hard to track. Sorry, it's too hard. We don't like doing hard things. We don't like it. It's too hard. We don't like it. Too hard. It's kind of like climbing a ladder, but the rungs are too

high. The rung is like six foot off the ground and I'm actually five two, so I can't reach the rung. Sure. But if each rung was only a foot apart, there's small steps in the right direction. I can climb that ladder. What a gorgeous analogy. Oh, thanks. I came up with it myself and it made sense in my head. Another reason why it's really hard is because there's a lack of a clear plan. I kind of touched on that before, but there is a saying, a goal without a plan is just a wish. I know these analogies or Instagram quotes, you could say often feel a little bit like flippant, But legitimately, if you're setting a goal in your head, I want to save more, you basically should just say, I wish I could save more.

Yeah, I know what you mean. Because research then says 92% of you aren't going to be able to do that. Right. So we need to create a plan. Without a specific plan, it is so easy to feel lost and then lose momentum once the initial excitement fades. Because do you know what happens? 1st of January comes, right, Bec?

You've set the goal. you said save more and you wrote it in your crispy brand new diary and so you've looked at your budget this month and you're like slay i'm gonna pull that 200 bucks out i'm gonna put it in my savings account oh look at me go but you didn't make a plan and you didn't do all of your budgeting so come february you're like oh my housemate just text me and electricity is due i'm just gonna dip into the savings and pull those out because i actually didn't make a plan right and i felt really good about it. But do you know what that's reinforcing? Is the idea that you can't save. So instead of going, I can create a plan from the start, come February and you're dipping into those

savings already, you are telling yourself that you're not good at something. Immediately you're going in and going, I need to pay the electricity bill. I'm so bad at savings. I'm not good at this. Like I suck. You set yourself up for failure. It's not because you're bad at it. It's because the plan wasn't juicy enough. True. And then you're, I'll save $200 next month and next month and then the whole vicious cycle. Exactly. We need to go back to basics. So say another example, you set a goal to save $1,000 and then every month you're going to tell yourself, save more each month. But without a plan, you're going to come to December 2025 and you're going to have nothing in savings because there's no set amount. There's no timeline. There's no strategy. You barely have

anything for the first month. You look at it and you just think that you're terrible at this. And the reality is, it's not that you're bad with money. In fact, some of the best people I know with money aren't the highest income earners. They just create a good plan and stick to it. I'm not good at sticking to a plan either, but I'm just trying to be relatable. But life gets in the way. And before you know it, the goal, it starts feeling impossible because it comes close to the time that you thought you would have $1,000 and then you just didn't have $1,000. Sure. And you're like, well, what's that reinforcing, Bec, that you're bad at savings? Yeah. You're not bad at savings. We just didn't have a plan. But if we'd created some clear steps,

like maybe instead you're like, okay, cool. I want to save $1,000. And I want to do that, I don't know, maybe by Meredith next year. How long is that going to take till it gets there? Maybe I'll save $100 a month. And maybe because you're a bite-sized girl like me, you need to break it up. So instead of saving $100 each and every single month, because that coming out of your account, you're like, it could work. If it comes out on the day that you get paid, you could automate it to a savings account or you could break it down, right? And you could go, well, Bec, a hundred bucks coming out of my account every month. That's not for me because I see that amount and it gives me anxiety. Maybe you need a monthly goal. If you set up a direct

debit today, Bec, and this is probably a good one as well, because how many of you are stressed about Christmas. So how hard, Bec, was it to do Christmas this year? Oh man, I wish that instead of the anxiety, we could just be festive and have a nice time. I'm going to give you the biggest Christmas gift. Yeah, go. You're going to go set up a bank account. Yes. And you're going to call it Christmas. Okay. And you're going to set up a direct debit. So it just gets taken out of your account. $19. Can you afford $19? Every week, we're just going to direct debit $19 to your Christmas fund. I reckon. So, $19. Christmas next year, you're going to have $1,000 for Christmas. Oh, wow. Right? $19. Great. But if you got to the end of the year, so the year gets away from you,

start of December comes, you're like, far out. We're doing this again. At the start of December, I spoke to you. You said you were anxious about the amount of spending you were going to do that month. Yeah. Start of December, you could have $1,000 or start of December next year, you could be trying to scrape together $1,000. Do you need $1,000 for Christmas back? Maybe you do. Maybe you don't. Maybe you only spend $500 of that. You've got an extra $500. True. You don't have to spend the money that you save for that specific goal. Isn't it amazing that you could have extra cashola at Christmas time? I know this is a thing, but it's a great idea. But $19.23 each and every single week is going to add up to $1,000. And that would take the pressure off. And that would

automatically make you good at money. Yeah. Because right now you're probably, and I know that you always say, I'm so bad at it. Like I can't save, I can't do whatever. Let's pretend it's me. Pretend I'm the direct debit finance godmother. I'm going in, I'm taking 19 bucks off you. You can't have it back. I'm putting it over here. You can have it at Christmas. you'll be like okay sorry v yeah i'll give you the thousand dollars it's yours but it won't feel like a thousand dollars it will feel like 19 yes true but if we set ourselves up it's very easy small steps but get to the month before christmas where are you getting around from we can do hard things the steps need to just be small yeah so we want to focus on motivation but we also don't

want to just focus on motivation. Because it's fleeting. It's fleeting. She's here today, gone tomorrow. Exactly. I am very motivated. I've decided I'm in my fit mom era. Cool. For five minutes. Five minutes. Five minutes of fit mom era. I'm going to have to create a plan that is sustainable because motivation is really powerful at first. I'm like, we're going to do this. But it actually naturally fades. Yes. So it's not even, oh, I lost my motivation. Like that's actually a scientific thing. Motivation over time fades because we get used to it. It's like a shiny new car. Let's say tomorrow, Bec, you got a brand spanking new car. How excited are you? Pretty excited. I do more than that. How excited are you in six months?

That's a very good question. And honestly, probably not as. Exactly. That is motivation for you. So what I want you to think about is ego depletion. it's actually a fascinating concept in psychology. It refers to the idea that willpower is like a muscle. So it gets tired the more that we use it. And research shows that every single time we exercise self-control, whether it's resisting an urge to splurge on a sale, or it's Beck saying no to the third coffee that she's going to buy that day, or deciding to stick to a budget instead of going out with your friends, it uses up a little bit of our mental energy. That's exhausting. over time especially without breaks or habits to lean on that energy depletes making it so much

harder and then we kind of can't resist slipping back into our old behaviors because we're tired yes like you're asking me to do something that is exhausting like you're exercising self-control all the time like if i said hey beck for the next few days i want you to say no to two coffees I reckon you could do that. It wouldn't be that easy. But if I said for the next two months, you need to say no to a coffee every day. I couldn't. Even if I say no to a coffee once, I'm like, I'm going to treat myself to a coffee. Exactly. And I think that we need to be really honest about this. And that's why goals that rely solely on willpower, like I'm going to stop spending money on Uber Eats forever, or I'm going to stop buying coffee out because I'm back forever,

they fail yes and that's why I am such a big believer in creating the systems and the strategies that do the heavy lifting and support you so like I'm not expecting Beck that you can do that but what I am expecting is that if I give you a system and you get to implement it and not have to spend a lot of mental energy on it and it kind of happens in the background I'm setting you up for success even on the days when you don't feel like it. Because back to our $1,000, $19 a week coming out of your account. This is not even me being nasty, I promise. But for someone like you who doesn't lean into budgeting, you're like, it's not really for me. I'm a bit more of a yellow girl. I can almost guarantee that if we set that up and you go to check your account and you're like,

oh, I only have 20 bucks in there. I still want a coffee. That's fine because I've actually already taken that $19. We're not thinking about what we're saving. We're just thinking about what we've got access to. I've taken your access away. And now it's not taking up mental energy. If it takes up mental energy and you're like, oh, but I've got the cash and it's so hard not to spend it. Out of sight, out of mind. I took it away. I am the direct debit. I love that. I'm going to reframe my entire brand image to be like, see me as the direct debit. Every time you set one up, it's Victoria taking control of your money. Yeah.

I love that. Maybe it's me on a power trip, whatever. Yeah, and it feels like, oh, that's not my money anymore. It's not. Yeah. It's not. If you direct debit it, Victoria did that. Sorry, like they said I had no money.

Like I think it's really important to remember that mentally if things are hard, we're not going to do them. Anyway, the other thing I want to talk about, which I don't think you fall into very often, I do though, and that's external pressure. so like resolutions they're often based on I would say external expectations right so you might spend a lot of time online and follow a lot of influencers and you might be like I should lose weight or you might see somebody in a flashy new car and you're like I really want to buy a new car

or recently I have seen so many people traveling that I'm like oh we should plan a holiday yeah right okay why am I thinking that because I'm seeing other people doing that like Victoria you had a big holiday this year you don't get one next year like you know a part of my budgeting with my husband is that like we go on one big holiday and then the year after we might do something small but like it's not a big holiday down down the hatches yeah but like we've got to have some level of balance yes and so I'm thinking I saw my friend here be for real like that's an external pressure and I'm back on the psych train I've been doing so much research for this episode back. Self-determination theory suggests that we are more likely to stick to

goals that are meaningful to us personally rather than those that are driven by like trends or social pressure. Yeah. So if I'm just seeing people online and I'm like, I really want to do that. I want to go on a holiday. And then I set up my savings account and I start saving. Like that's not going to help. It's not going to keep me motivated. If I'm trying to like bigger goal here, save for a home or make a big investment because everyone else is doing it. You're like seeing all your friends post their sold stickers and you keep telling yourself, oh, I really should save for a deposit. Yeah. But deep down, you don't care about owning a house. That makes sense. That makes sense. You'd rather actually travel or grow your

career or do something else. Yeah. That's really valid. And we need to look at ourselves and what our goals are and what our priorities are. Because if the goal doesn't match up to what we truly want, you're going to lose motivation and then you're going to give up. And if we give up, then what are we going to do? We're going to perpetuate this idea, I'm not good at money. It's not that you're not good at money. It's that you never had the right systems and processes in place. Powerful. But it's true. Also, Bec, having an all or nothing mindset. Yes, that is a big one. You're a bit go hard or go home and I rate it. And it's so funny. Like anyone who's been listening to the show all year, like, Bec, what are you doing this weekend? I'm going

to Japan. Can you afford it? Nah, but we're going. I'm boots and all in. I love that. And many of us actually fall into the trap of like all or nothing. And we feel like one slip up is a personal failure. And psychologists actually refer to this as cognitive rigidity. Whoa. Yeah, right. It's an actual term and I have to always say rigidity consistently before I say it aloud in my head because it's a hard word for me, where small setbacks actually feel like a reason to quit altogether. And I feel like I'm introducing a lot of psychology into this episode because I've done so many budgeting episodes, so many goal setting episodes, and so many of us still go, but I'm not good at it. Like, girl, it's actually psychology.

Totally. She's got receipts. She can break this up. Yeah, I've come with the receipts. She's come with the receipts. You are actually good at money. You just have a really bad system and I'm here to fix that for you. So let's say you set a goal to stick to a strict budget for one month, Bec. Midway through the month, you splurge. So you're going out for dinner and drinks and you bought yourself a new vape. Is that relatable? Personal attack. Yes, absolutely. But how many times have you set a goal and then done something like that? No judgment, but you've thought, well, damn it,

I've already blown my budget. May as well just keep spending. Yeah. Every single month. May as well just keep spending. We're halfway through. May as well just keep spending. Yeah. Instead of seeing it as a small, very manageable slip up, you then treat it like a total failure and you abandon the goal. You wipe it off. You're like, I can just save next month. Yes. Fine. I don't even care. I'm just going to buy so many more of this thing. Do you know what? I'm going to treat myself because I've already come this far. But like that mentality is going to financially ruin you. Adjusting for like one dinner or one derail or one purchase that wasn't planned for isn't actually going to derail you from overall progress like let's say that your plan was to save 500 bucks

this month and after work the girls were like do you want to go out for drinks beck do you want to go to the pub and i know you don't drink a lot but like you went out to the pub you had a few soda waters you bought a palmer yes palmers these days what are they like 26 28 usually insane right so you've nearly spent 30 bucks yeah then all of a sudden you did buy a few little cheeky bebs for other people because you're a generous type. You've spent 50 bucks that night. Are we going to wipe off the rest of the $450 that you could save? Yeah, true. Mentally, I would. I'd be like, oh, I'll just do it. But like, oh, I've already come this far and like my generosity got ahead of me and I had this fancy meal out that I wouldn't have done. I had dinner in the fridge.

What am I doing? So we're going to throw the other 450 bucks away. So you're telling me that pub meal that did cost you 50 bucks, like you're going to throw $450 away because you didn't feel good about that decision. When you put it like that, Vee, it's quite alarming, isn't it, that we do that? You're like, in the bin, doesn't matter. Yeah, true. You could not literally pay me to put $450 in the bin, but that's kind of what you're doing. And it's all about how you're choosing to respond to how things make you feel. So what I would say is reframe. I'm not going to hit my goal, but I'm going to get $450. Do I actually need to be budgeting for nights out? like is that something that is happening every month is that something that's consistently

derailing me maybe i need to reset my expectations of saving 500 bucks a month and go do you know what i'm gonna save 400 a month and i'm gonna put a budget aside that i can dip into so i don't feel guilty about those things because i love going to the pub with my mates like i just have a really good time i want to go out for that meal and that 28 dollar palmer while exorbitant like be for real it's a chicken schnitty with some sauce and ham. Yeah. It actually sparks a lot of joy in my life. Yeah. So we're going to readjust. We're not going to think of that as a personal failure. Totally. Anyway, I feel like I've yapped for a while. So we're going to go to a break. And after the break, I'm going to be sharing the game changing steps. I made them up. So yeah, anyway,

that are going to help you to leave the 92% of people behind and join the 8% who actually follow through on their goals, Bec, because what year is it next year? 2020 Thrive. All right, stick around. Before the break, we dug into why 92% of New Year's resolutions don't stick, unfortunately, but Vy's here to help 92% of us. For the 8%, I'm like, good for you, girl, and boy, and they, them. So V, tell us, how do we join that magical 8%? I'm here to make your DeLulu come true, true. Okay, let's do it. You're welcome. But, and I said this before, we just need to get really clear on our specific goals. It's not just about writing them down. I will explain that fully, but it's also about creating that framework and that structure. Because I think if I then say,

Beck, what's your structure? You're like, oh, I don't have one. Okay, well, you're setting yourself up to fail. I can give you the structure. So, we need to be super clear on that goal. It doesn't matter what it is. To make your goals actually achievable and make your delulu come true, we're going to focus on making them specific and actionable. Okay. If you said, my goal next year is to save more, cool. You're a 92 percenter. It's probably not going to happen. Instead, we are going to give ourselves a clear path forward. So, if you want to change that mindset, we're going to say exactly what we want to accomplish down to the sum that you want to see in your bank account on a specific date and things you're going to do to make that happen.

So if you said by the end of next year, I want $1,000 additional in my emergency fund, and I'm going to make that happen by transferring $19 every single week to that account, it's probably going to happen. You automated it. Do you know how that's not going to happen, is if you go in and manually cancel that direct debit. Otherwise, it's actually set. It's golden. It's good to go. Another example, say you want to save two grand for a holiday and you're going to put aside a hundred bucks every payday and you're going to cut out on dining out. You're making a plan. You're putting it aside, but I reckon the real magic in saving is direct debiting because you're actually in control of it. It's not the bank. It doesn't cost you anything. Nobody else

is getting involved, you are setting up an automation on your banking. And the cool thing about direct debits, I think so many of us have this connection with direct debits in our head that they're just the bills and stuff. Like you signed a form and the electricity bill took it out of your account or your phone bill did the same thing. You can actually go in to the settings on your bank app and go, I would like to set up a direct debit for a dollar. And I would like it going out of my account every single day to this other account. It could be with the same bank. It could be with a different bank like it doesn't matter but you can set that up and then if you need to you can go in and cancel that but like you can make a whole heap of rules like you don't even

have to have one big one you could be like okay cool so every month maybe this $19 you're like I'd like to feel like it's 10 bucks so instead every payday Beck I'm gonna have 50 bucks come out on payday and go into that account and then every other week 10 bucks is gonna direct debit that doesn't feel so bad, does it? That feels palatable. That's still $1,000. Wow. So like if I said, oh, you see that direct debit is 10 bucks that goes to your savings every single week and 50 bucks comes out on payday. Yeah. Are you going to go in and actually cancel that? Probably not, but I'm going to take it out at some point. Yeah, that's fine. That's fine. But we're setting up these behaviors to be as successful as possible. And that way, you know exactly how much you're

saving, when to save it and what changes you need to make to reach that goal. Like if after a month back, you're like, I have like not enough cash in my bank. Well, we might go in and shift that and go, well, maybe it's not $1,000 by Christmas. It's 500 bucks by Christmas. It's not actually a wish anymore. It's a plan that is in action. Yeah. And also like $500, $50, whatever. It's better than $0. I promise to you, like it's Christmas day. So I know that if I said to most of you, if you had an extra 500 bucks this Christmas time, how good would that feel? You'd be like, oh, that would have taken a lot of pressure off. We can do that. Yeah. 50 bucks a month. This time next year, you are going to be focused on the festivities and the good feels and

the warmth, and you're not going to be anxious. You're not going to be stressed. I'm kind of talking to myself, but I'm talking to everyone else as well. But we're manifesting that for everybody. We are, we are, we are. 100%. So I feel like I'm starting to convince you. Yeah. Genuinely feeling motivated right now. Okay, okay, okay. Let's stay on that. So I want you to also make a mindset shift because remember how we said that we kind of throw the baby out with the bathwater earlier in the episode?

If you spend 50 bucks out, then you throw 450 away because you're like, what's the point of saving? We're going to have to do a pretty good mindset shift here and we're going to shift our mindset from perfection to progress. Okay. So, a plethora of different studies, Bec, show that being flexible and allowing for like small missteps can significantly improve long-term habit formation. Okay.

That's kind of cool. You don't look convinced. No, it feels comfortable. But say you set a goal to save $200 a month. Sure. You're going to cut back on takeout. You're going to not go shopping. Then one weekend, it's exactly like the pub.

You splurge on dinner and a shopping spree. You go ham. you spend a whole $200. Instead of thinking, I have blown it. Why bother? You're going to pause. You're going to acknowledge, yeah, that wasn't in budget. It is what it is. And then we're just going to adjust. Maybe you go, all right, well, I did go out for dinner this week. Had the $28 parma. It made my eyes water. I had plans. Vee and I were going to catch up next week for dinner. I'm actually going to text Vee and say, hey, can we just do dinner next month? Need to reschedule. Or, hey, can we just go for a walk around the town and grab a coffee?

And then you're going to put that money into savings instead. So we're going to make it up somehow. We're going to like think strategically about like how do I change this slip up from being a bit of a slip up to like not actually missing a beat this month. And if it's not possible, that's okay. We can have some level of self-compassion and be like, I'm still on track. Like I'm doing really well. And if an opportunity arises that I could chuck an extra 50 bucks into my savings, I'm going to try and take it. but I'm not going to let one setback completely derail our progress of achieving that goal.

Yeah. There's more research because I feel like research helps. I feel like research makes us feel like it's not just us. Yeah, it's very validating. I feel like it's validating, but it's also like, oh, Bec, we've never had an original experience. It turns out it's not just us. So some research from the University of California found that people who practice self-compassion, so they're kind to themselves after experiencing setbacks,

are far more likely to persist with their goals. That's a really cute sentence. It is, but it's also like, I'm not very self-compassionate. We're compassionate to one another, but like self-talk, the amount of stuff I say to myself in my head that is unhinged, if I said that aloud to you, honestly, J-label, you'd be cancelled. Right? Like how many times you'd be like, I can't believe I X, Y, Z'd.

But by acknowledging our slip-up without self-criticism, I'm not going to say it's easy. It's like a muscle. We've got to practice it. These people are able to maintain their motivation and maintain their confidence, which helps them stay committed to their habits. So we want to reframe it. I often ask myself, would I be comfortable saying that to my best friend?

Yes, sure. Complete sidetrack. But me, after having Harvey, I feel like it's a shit show with your hormones and your mental health and whatnot. I kept trying to fact check myself and being like, would I say this to a friend? absolutely i wouldn't why am i saying it to myself like why am i yeah being so nasty to me and if you like pretend that you are a different person like say there's you the physical being the vessel that holds everything together and the you that you're talking to when you slip up

you know they're different people just pretend you're calling me so like beck you went out to the pub 28 dollar palmer you're internally being like i'm such an idiot i can't believe it can't be bothered. I'm not going to save. Like, I just do it again next month. Imagine if you picked up the phone. Hey, V, guess what I've done? What would I say? You would be very kind. And what would I tell you to do? You would say, rest, reset. You deserved it, babe. Was it a good parma? Exactly. 28 bucks. Was it extra crispy? It's going to be worth it. Do you reckon the sauce was homemade? Like, I'm going to ask about the parma. Then I'm going to go, that doesn't matter no you had a good time we're still gonna save 450 bucks yeah and you'll go oh yeah that's

a good point totally to yourself totally great call me and that segues really nicely into my next point which you've heard of accountability buddies I haven't until right now yes you have maybe I've heard a different version of what you're about to say surely but there is science behind having an accountability buddy sure someone that's gonna be like keep you on track not in a mean way just in a no but hey could you exactly it's like I go to Pilates but I only want to go to Pilates when Jess is going to Pilates so she texts me and tells me what classes she's going to book into and then I book in those ones and then I feel bad if I don't go because Jess is going and I told her I was going instant accountability partner but again I'm bringing the

receipts to the table because research from the American Society of Training and Development found that people are 65% more likely to achieve a goal, these are some big numbers this episode, after committing to somebody else. However, there's a little caveat here, the success rate jumps to 95% when they have a specific accountability appointment or check-in. Yeah, I do agree. So if you tell me you're going to do something, yeah, probably going to try. Let's go back to the savings example, so the $19. You said before, yeah, I'm probably going to do that. That sounds pretty good. But if I kept checking in on you, have you done that, Bec? I'm stressed at this

hypothetical thought. I'm like, I've got to do it. Sorry, I won't. I don't want to stress you out. I'm not calling you. I'm not. Unless you consent to this, but the ongoing commitment reinforces dedication and follow through. I should say too, I just got a PT. I know a lot of people can't afford that and that's so, so, so reasonable because it's a very expensive bet. I think that If you don't have like a buddy or a friend, like, cause not a lot of people are surrounded by, you know, those kinds of people. If you sign up to Anytime Fitness and you tell the receptionist, hey, can you hold me accountable?

Or like, I'm telling you right now, I'm going to be here tomorrow. Find someone in the She's On The Money community. Find anyone, anywhere, anytime. I'm going to make a post in the She's On The Money community, probably way before this episode comes out. Cause I'm excited about this. Like it'd be like a find an accountability buddy. Yep.

Like you can find a friend. And even if you won't meet in person, you could like text each other or Facebook messenger at each other and be like, hey, cool, I just wanted to check in on your goal. And then you can do it for each other. Yes. But another good example of this is say you and a friend, you both want to go to Europe for summer. Sounds pretty good. Sounds great. It's going to cost five grand each. Instead of just keeping it casual, you're going to set up a weekly check-in. It doesn't have to be serious. We don't have to go out for this, but like maybe you put an alarm in your phone, text Beck about Europe. Easy. But you're going to set up weekly check-ins to track your

progress together. So then when I set this alarm in my phone, text Bec about Europe, I'm going to be like, hey, how's your savings going for Europe? You can be like, oh my God, thank God V texted me and reminded me I haven't transferred. Oh, okay. But it's more likely to happen. So then you can share how much you saved that week or like you swap tips for skipping takeout or imagine you wanted to go out and we're both suffering. I don't know if that's the right way to put it, but whatever. But I'm like, oh, Bec, I haven't saved anything this week and I was meant to go out. Maybe I should say no. And you go, oh my God, I'm going to have to do the same thing. We're both wallowing in our own sadness together and it's going to be successful, right?

Yes, I agree. Oh, Bec, it makes me feel better that you are not able to go out either because like- It's so comforting. It's so comforting. But knowing you're accountable to one another makes it so much harder to like slack off. Yeah. And then keeps you motivated. Plus you're going to celebrate wins and you're probably going to have a little bit of a laugh over some setbacks, making the journey a lot more fun. And like when you finally achieve it together, you're like, yeah, we did this. Like, can you believe it?

Like, do you remember in February, we were so bad at this, but we still did it. Like we're so proud of ourselves. This idea of accountability and I guess support is one of the biggest reasons why I started She's On The Money. It's so hard to do money when you're doing it on your own. Yeah, that's very true. You text me and be like, I bought a Palmer and I'd be like, oh my God, I actually went out and I bought the sweet treats and makes you feel good you're like oh okay well I'm not I'm not that bad but both of us maybe next week we're gonna have to cut back on coffee because like we really need to bump that up because this week we're both a bit naughty yeah you're more likely to do those

small goal setting activities than you are to not and I think it's all of the small tiny things along the way like I didn't even know I could put an alarm in my phone that says every week at like 6pm on a Wednesday, text Beck about Europe savings. And then you're like, oh, okay. And then you text and you're like, oh my God, yeah, actually I've been thinking about that. Small things that push you in the right direction. What does that go back to Beck? Automation. So it's not just automating your direct debits. It's putting calendar reminders in. It's trying to keep accountable. It's making those relationships part of the framework. And that's going to help. I love that. When I put like an alarm on and I've labeled it something, I even get stressed at the

thought of my old self telling me my now self to do this thing. So even if you just have like some sort of automation where you're like, your phone's buzzing, it's reminding you to send $2 to your savings. It's like, okay, I'm going to do it. Just leave me alone, please. Yeah, stop it. So I genuinely am feeling so motivated to set my own New Year's goals. I just feel like you've had some effect on me, V. I hope so, because I've been trying really hard. I don't think it's a secret that I'm a goal setting girl. Like I'm kind of like a bull with

a red flag. Like I'm going to go for it. But I also have the privilege of having a background in psychology. So I have learned along my career and my journey, what it actually takes to turn goals from wishful thinking into something real and something relatable. And it's all about kind of understanding how you're wired and then working with that because goal setting for lots of different people doesn't work and you need to find a framework that works for you. I have been very open. I have ADHD. And maybe you're like, oh, V, that sounds insane. Like I don't need calendar reminders. I don't need direct debits. I don't need, you know, to put an alarm in my phone to remember these things. Good for you. You're better at it than I am. But these are little tools and

tips and tricks that I've learned along the timeline that have helped me be successful. And I'm hoping that they might be able to help you. Neurotypical or neurodiverse, it doesn't matter. But like sharing is going to mean that you've got something else to ponder. And you might go, that doesn't work, throw that out. But this other tip and trick that I learned because I was thinking about that is going to work. We're all heading in the right direction. Well, you're like a perfect mix of hype woman and strategist. Oh, you just called me a strategist. That's very exciting. And I'm just going to do a little bit of a shameless plug here. Please. Because it's 2020 Thrive. And last year I released the Best

Year Yet course. Do you remember when I did that? And it was like wildly popular and I didn't realize. I just thought it would be really fun to do like a full goal setting and motivating session with the community. And then it kind of extrapolated out into a whole course over a number of weeks and I've decided to bring it back this year. So I designed it to help literally anybody. So whether you are like saving or you're paying off debt or you just want to go to the gym more, it's about setting realistic goals and then sticking to them with confidence and then I'm your accountability partner. And I think so many of us don't have accountability partners and like I get very excited that you might want me to be yours. I'm not just going to help you set goals,

I'm going to teach you why, how, what, when, where. I'm also going to go through the psychology of your personal values and the life that you want to create. And it can be a little bit confronting, but we're even going to talk about what's been holding you back. Then after I've taught you all of that and we've gone through that content, because it's actually a bit of a chunky course, I then pair that with, I guess you could call it some deep work with stacks of actionable tips, because I wanted everything to be super useful. It's also back side note, super aesthetic. I got my graphic designer to make all of your activity sheets and all of the course. Like I didn't just draw this on a notepad and then be like, oh, here is a good idea. My graphic designer has made this

look so slay, but it helps to break big goals into really manageable steps, helps you to stay accountable and makes sure that you have a very clear path towards being successful. I have just started reading all of the feedback from the people that did this course in January. So many of them are like, oh my God, without this, I wouldn't have achieved it. Without this, I wouldn't have purchased my house. I got out of debt. Like there are so many good stories, which is why I was like, we have to do it again. So it's basically everything that you need to make 2025 your best year yet. Yeah. Lovely. Thrive in 2025. That's lovely. Well, honestly, sounds like the go up we all need. So if you're ready to finally join the elusive 8%, I know I am, who actually crushed

their New Year's goals, head to our website or hit the link in our show notes. Oh, I love it. Happy 2025, guys. Happy 2025. The advice shared on She's on the Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision if you do choose to buy a financial product read the pds tmd and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs victoria divine and she's on the money are authorized representatives of money sherpa pty ltd abn 321-649-27708 afsl 451-289 Thanks for watching!