She's On The Money - Why Money-Savvy People Have Money Dates—Even When They’re Single

Episode Date: February 4, 2025

This Valentine’s Day, we’re turning up the romance… with your finances! Whether you're single or in a relationship, a money date is the ultimate act of self-love. Pour yourself a glass of wine, light a candle, and let’s make your financial future irresistible. In this episode, we’re making finances feel sexy, fun, and totally stress-free. We’ll show you how to plan the perfect money date (yes, wine and fancy cheese are encouraged), how to overcome money anxiety, and fun ways to gamify your finances. Plus, we’ll help you dream big, stay accountable, and set financial goals that actually excite you. FREE Money Date Guide – We’ve created a super cute guide with 30+ prompts to help you plan the perfect money date, whether you’re single or have a partner. Get it here. Join our 300K+ She's on the Money community in our Facebook Group and on Instagram.  Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kernai, Wolperi and Awadjeri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjeri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money. She's on the money.

hello and welcome to she's on the money the podcast that's here to spice up your relationship relationship with your bank account. I was about to be like, excuse me? Valentine's Day is just around the corner, but this year we're ditching the roses and chocolate for something even better. What's better than that? Well, not many things, but whether you're flying solo or in a couple, today we're making money dates the ultimate love language. I'm Bec Syed, and with me as always is the woman who's basically Dr. Love for your finances. Are you right? Victoria Devine. How are you? I love this. It's giving like late night talk show.

Smooth FM. Yeah, it's giving smooth FM. It's giving love song dedications. Yes, yes, yes. And I'm like really here for that because like I'm not mad. So she's on the money. We're pivoting. We're pivoting. We no longer talk about money. We talk about love. It's a live date show. Oh, gosh. I kind of love the Dr. Love vibes. Yeah, I'm really feeling an energy in this room today. It's a moment. It's a moment. Before we get there, this isn't just for couples, right?

I want to make it really clear from the very beginning of this episode that it's not just for the people who are buddied up. Even if you're single, I genuinely think that a money date with yourself is one of the greatest forms of self-love. And I mean, it's probably even better to be doing money dates with yourself before you get into a relationship so that you're even more stable. another human being is not your financial plan and if you can put yourself in the best possible position like you're gonna weed out all of the not so nice people to date as well yes like imagine

going into a date that would be overwhelming for the other person like oh look i've got all my stuff together oh she's serious oh okay okay um so beck whatever your situation we're making today all about building a love affair with your financial goals sexy and it really does start with regular money dates, whether it's with your partner or with yourself. There's less people to argue with if you're just doing it on your own. Yeah, just you by yourself, a little red wine, a spaghetti bolognese. Oh, a moment. You tie it to, like, the end of the chair and then you both meet in the middle.

And it's just you. It's so cute. It's just you and your couch. Oh, my gosh. Now, I feel like I already know the answer to this. You've kind of explained it very well. But just in case, why should we be going on money dates? Why should we be having these money dates?

Because they're better than regular dates, Bec. I do agree. No, you don't. You love a real date. I do love a real date. You love a real date. You're like the most above and beyond person when it comes to like organizing a date. Last week, you were like, it's date night tonight. And I was like, oh, cute. What are you doing? And you like whipped out of your bag a full curated menu. You'd like graphic designed it up. You're like, okay, so this is entree. This is main. My partner's not

currently into dessert, but I'm going to have some options on the table anyway. So I've written them down like what are you doing you've got such a great memory because it was cool this is a perfect example of why being straight is not a choice ah yes yes yes i see well everyone want to be in a relationship with a girl if that's what they do i know that's it and it was just you know not to brag but it was just a regular old date night it was a tuesday it was a tuesday but this is the thing is that i spent more than i should have and so this is why money dates are probably very important. Which is good. And for couples, a regular money date, it's really about building trust and building that dream life together and avoiding the dreaded conversation

of, Bec, why is there no money in our joint account? Oh, that's not very fun. They spent it on focaccia dough. It was worth it. It was worth it. Did that recipe work out? It did, it did. Oh, I'm so glad. I need to bring you guys some. All right, all right. Thank you. And if you're single, on the flip side, it's really about, I guess, self-love. And that is honestly one of the most empowering forms of getting clear on what you really want and not only how you're going to get it, but how you're going to attract it. And I think that that's, I don't know, really sexy.

Yeah, that's hot. Invite yourself out. Write yourself a little note saying, will you go on a date with me? And leave it on your desk at work. That's exciting. Maybe one little rose. Send yourself flowers with no name. I love that. Okay. So if we want to go on a money date, what's the first step other than writing yourself a note. Okay. So you're not just going to plan it and then tell your partner, by the way, tonight we're having a money date. Because I can guarantee that's not going to go down well. No, anxiety. Not everybody is in the same headspace to talk about money. Yes. Not everybody is ready for that conversation. So I think floating the idea of, oh, Bec, we should

be doing some like regular money date. What are they saying? How are they responding? What's their body language like? When you are floating that question, are they open to it? We're not saying if they're not open to it don't do it we're saying get them bought into the idea of having regular money dates because you need them to be able to be in the right headspace for it to be productive because there's nothing worse than going into something and being like hey beck i want to have a chat with you about xyz and you're like i really want to talk about this right now so you're evasive and you don't give very deep answers and you don't really have any thought behind it you're like oh yeah whatever you want to do like that is so unhelpful and i think

also putting it in the diary. So we're not just saying, oh, we should do these money dates and then not doing them. I think it's about diarize it, like open your Google calendar, even if it's just for you and pop a time in there, because when you write something down or you schedule it, you're actually more likely to do it. There's actually a thing that called implementation intention. If you link a specific action, like your money date to a set time in a calendar, it makes it feel like a real legitimate thing. And that sounds really fluffy, but the studies around this implementation intention showed that it can actually boost your chances of following through by more than 50%. Oh, I like that. And I feel like that's the

same for any goal you're setting, right? Like if you're just going to say, oh, you know, I want to buy a new car this year and that's it and crickets and no plan. Yeah. How likely is that going to happen? Like that's just a wish. But if you go, okay, I want to buy a new car this year and then you like make a little plan and go I think I'm going to do that in June okay can I do that in June when in June like when should I start shopping are you more likely to achieve that yeah I can see that and if that sounds too hard Bec and let me hold your hand while I say this with a lot of love yeah if you can commit to binging an entire Netflix series for an entire weekend she's doing it I promise you you have the time to schedule just an hour a month for a money

day. Like we need to get our priorities straight. And sometimes I need to put the hard word on you and be like, I know that you're saying you don't have time, but are you like me Beck? And did you spend last night scrolling for an hour and a half on your phone on TikTok while you said that you were going to go to bed? Well, that's true, but it was very fun. Some people coming from different money situations and lives. And for some reason, whenever people bring up money with me, especially if they're maybe from somewhere more well off or they're a little bit better with money, I instantly have this anxiety in my body. No, I don't want that. How do we work through that? And that's the thing is that if you're conscious of that. I don't make you feel like that, do I?

No, you don't make me feel like that unless you actually ask me on a money date, then maybe I'll start feeling stressed out. I don't want you to be stressed about money. But if that's how you're feeling, you need to go back and look at your money story. Yes, very true. So if you grew up in a situation where money was really scarce, Bec, and you've spoken about this before, not having money is such a significant stress that it triggers a physiological response in your body. You get that pit in the bottom of your stomach. You get a little bit uncomfortable. You're not sure what to do with your hands. You don't mean to do that. That's not you choosing to act like that. That's your body going, ah, trauma, stress. I'm going to repulse from this essentially.

And that means that we need to dive a little bit deeper. I don't want you to be uncomfortable, but I want to talk through, okay, Bec, like you're in a situation now, you're safe, you're grounded, you have a full-time income and it's a good full-time income. That's not the situation you were in. Talk me through, you know, what happened historically to make you feel like that? And it could be, oh, we never had enough money growing up and it was a stress. And, you know, there's a million different things that could come up there. If you're like, oh, I just don't know why I feel like that. Have a think about your physiological response. So, okay, where are you feeling sick. You're feeling sick in your tummy. Okay. Usually that's linked to anxiety. So if

you're feeling sick about a situation because somebody mentioned something, we're not talking about gastro, right? Like you could be sick for another reason and that's fine. Make sure you just don't have gastro before going into this. And if you've got kids in daycare, very likely that you also have gastro. But have a think about that and go, okay, cool. Like this feeling is really uncomfortable. I'm not saying you do have anxiety, but it could be linked to being anxious about money. Yes. Why, when I think about spending, am I feeling anxious about money? Like you might not be able to remember exactly why, because the brain is incredible. The brain is actually insanely smart. And if you have experienced trauma, it does what's called trauma blocking. Yeah. So it

actually stops you from remembering a lot of things that trigger those responses. But you know what it's dumb at doing? Stopping the response. Ah, good. So like it'll block you from remembering what happened. But then when you experience a trigger, you'll still feel sick about it and you'll be like, boy, low key rude. Yeah. Very unhelpful. And also makes you feel a little bit crazy. Exactly. No, that's so true. We need to work through that. We do. So if money dates are something that you're like, absolutely not V, I'd love you to go back and listen to our episodes on money stories and what that might mean. There's a lot of content on our podcast that talks you through that, maybe doing a little bit of journaling, sitting down, you don't have to

share this with anybody. Your money story is actually personal. Yes. So it's actually none of anybody else's business. And if journaling feels a little bit risky, because like, I don't know, Bec, I get anxious writing things down. Yeah, me too. What if somebody finds this? Yeah. Like, I know it's a really productive thing to like journal, because like I've heard putting it on paper is a really good thing. But like, what if my husband reads it and thinks I'm a bit to Lulu. Yeah. Or like, what if I kind of sound like a loser? Exactly. Do you know what you can do later? You can burn the paper. You could. So we could do the task. No one needs to see it. Yes. You don't even need to re-read it. Take a photo, put it in a locked folder. So there's lots to do.

And I think that really touching on money stories here, if this is bringing up that icky feeling. Yes. And that might come. Is a good idea. My one in particular comes from like, I'm worried that people won't understand because they haven't lived the same life. But like, if everyone approached this with gentleness, kindness, openness. Everyone kind of has a different journey. And so if we're just kind to one another, we'll be okay. So you've really kind of got me feeling a bit more comfortable outside, dear. And maybe I need to schedule mine in with Jess or just myself. So once we've done that and the date day is here, what are we doing first? Oh, we're going to make it a legit date. I want you to look forward to these money dates.

Order pizza? Absolutely. If that's what you're into. order pizza order pasta if you're comfortable you could go out for dinner true i'm a bit delulu so like if you ask me to justify spending i can help you i'm definitely not one of those financial independents retire early who is going to save all of their money for a rainy day like if you need help justifying a purchase baby cakes i am your girl so if you need to go out for dinner to make this something that you really look forward to let's see that as an investment in your financial health. And I'm not saying go and spend and, you know, get into a whole heap of

debt, but I do think we need to do something that makes it worth looking forward to. I want this to be something that you go, it's money date night. And it's kind of like that sweet treat theory where, Bec, we're going to have to go and do this like god awful presentation at work or whatever, and we're not looking forward to it. But if you do that, we'll go out for a sweet treat after. Do you know what I mean? You kind of like go, oh, this might be worth it. Yeah. It's very exciting all of a sudden. Exactly. It's kind of like having a day at work where the sun is really beautiful outside and the weather is perfect and knowing that the beach is waiting because you get to finish work at 3pm. God, that's a good feeling.

Like it's a good deal. So we want to create the good deal for ourselves because otherwise we're going to do one money date and fall off the bandwagon. So if you want, you could light a candle. You could pour your favorite drink. You could get some fancy cheese. You could make a whole vibe. Like Aldi cheese platters, underrated. Their cheeses are actually good. Their biscuits are very good. They are very good. Make a little Aldi cheese platter. We all know that my favorite rosé is Lemuel from Aldi. Gorgeous. $14.99 a bottle, which to be honest, like $14.99, you're going to want to hope that it's a good bottle of wine. Yeah, you can get cheaper, but that's also a very good deal. You can definitely get cheaper, but it is

very very nice wine and don't get me wrong like a few people might be like Victoria I've seen your Instagram stories when you drink very expensive wine sometimes yeah I do like I'm very lucky like my husband and I we love a good bottle of red I'm not gonna lie but like when it comes down to it I'm still budget day-to-day I do have a little splurge item don't get me wrong but like day-to-day if I'm planning a money date with my husband, I feel like $10 is like a normal amount for a bottle of wine. Oh yeah. You know, I'm probably going to spend a little bit more if I'm going to a friend's house and like taking a bottle of wine. But if you're having wine at home. No more than 10 bucks. You reckon? What's your theory? Is there a theory?

If your favorite is the $14.99 one, go for that. But generally when I'm just by myself, I'm at home or I'm having a friend over and we're really doing low key, I personally am max $7. I feel like everyone has a theory about this. They have a theory, they do. They have a theory. But anyway, you're going to hopefully create a situation where you feel a lot of connection with your partner. So whether that is your partner or your inner financial boss, like I don't mind, but we're

just going to make it something that you're kind of low-key looking forward to. Yeah, that's very cute. Like we're going to talk about the money for like an hour, but you could have like a three-hour date. Yeah, it could be very romantic. It could be cute. And also it's kind of like you're talking about your future. That's cute.

Exactly. So how about you and Steve? How do you do your money date? Our last money date was actually at a bar called Harvey, which is funny because that's my son's name. It's actually just low key, really cute bar out in Armadale, which is semi near where we live. We ordered a heap of little antipasto things.

We usually go on a weeknight because it's too hard to go out on like a Friday or a Saturday night. Like I feel like it's just too busy. Like everyone wants to be at the cute wine bar. Wednesday night though. No one's there. There was a few people, but like kind of empty. We ordered a few little antipasto things.

I had a cocktail and we just talk about the things we want to achieve. Like we were talking about, okay, should we go like obviously bigger things. We talk about our budget. We go through, you know, what are we spending? What are we saving? Like, do we have goals for this year? Are we on track to meet them? We talked a lot actually about daycare fees this last money date, because obviously having a child in daycare, it's a lot of money, but also it's our first year doing it. So we're kind of navigating this as a new item on our budget. We've talked about holidays. So we're really lucky that we are in the financial situation where a holiday could be possible. We haven't planned anything though, because we went on a big holiday last year.

Sure. I was kind of like, oh, I would actually prefer to save. And don't get me wrong, Beck. I don't want you to think RVs being budget to be relatable. Like at the end of the day, I did not grow up rich like I grew up and money was relatively scarce like we always had everything that we needed provided for us like I never quote missed out but money was stressful like it was something that we didn't talk about it was something that you know was a bit overwhelming for me and that's kind of what led me to making such bad money decisions in my early 20s which is again fine but that doesn't mean that because I now have more money that has changed yeah like

yes, we can afford nice holidays and we have been on a few of them. But in my head, I'm like, you go on a nice holiday every second year. Sure. And that's still a privilege. Yeah. But I just said to Steve, no, absolutely not. So we talked about that stuff. We talked about smaller things like, oh, what's our emergency fund looking like? I was talking to Steve about potentially getting our mortgage refinanced. Okay. So like we've got our mortgage and we are currently not on a fixed interest rate. And I don't really want to lock in an interest rate right now because our interest rates hopefully by the end of this year are going to go down. So I don't want to commit to something now to go down later. But we talked about that because right

now I feel like it's a little bit higher than it should be. And I called our bank. I obviously have a broker. Haha, Zella money. But I called our bank myself to see if I could get a lower rate and they couldn't do it. And I've seen lower rates from other banks. So I'm like, is it worth moving like I like our bank I like the facilities we have because we've got like an offset account so we put all of our savings and all of our money that we earn into an offset account and then we spend from that so that you know our money is working hard literally the way I spend money and like do my banking is how I teach you guys in the money master class so if you're interested that's how I do it but yeah we just had a chat about money and life and I feel like those conversations

about money then stretched into like our values and what we want to achieve and like now I'm reflecting on it that daycare conversation moved into oh what would that look like if we had multiple kids like you know how much would that cost us a year at the moment Harvey's in daycare for two days what would three days look like like it's a lot of like brainstorming time as opposed to just line items in a budget so we do go through the budget we've got that on our phone on the spreadsheet went through that but then it's all about I guess you know what are we spending what does this look like oh how much is rojo for our cars combined okay it's that like how do we feel about that lots of questions like that that I feel like people think a money date is sitting down

and like really hoeing into the spreadsheets and it is at the start especially if you don't have a budget right now and you're trying to set one up for you and your family or yourself but for us it was like I don't know a little bit aspirational as well like yeah things we want to achieve like not right now but one day we would like a bigger house because you know not complaining beautiful home but it's really small and if we have other kids like we don't have room for other kids back yeah so we're like oh maybe one day and I was like mate bunk beds yeah like absolutely yeah so it's all of those conversations okay that kind of like intertwine into a budget conversation yeah because I think that if I said to you sit down and have a money date

with your girlfriend, Jess, you just think it's about going through budget and how much she spends versus what you spend. But it's also about values and what you're trying to achieve and, you know, what that looks like. And honey, are you happy with your job? Like it goes into conversations like that of, you know, what do you want with the next steps of your career? And what do I want with the next steps of mine? It's actually just so lovely to make sure they're always on the same page. It's cute. And you're kind of like relearning each other. You're like, let's talk about work stuff and what we want to be. It's an event, really. I think so. I like them. Yeah. So music's playing. We've got a drink. The vibes are high. And what should we start with? As I said, I feel

like if you've not done this before, we really want to be starting with conversations around why we want this. Why do we want to have money dates? We want to be on the same page. I want to be talking about celebrating the month that was. You could do that money wins and confessions dates like of your own. Like if you had a money win this month there, can you be like, oh my gosh, yes. When I was grocery shopping, X, Y, Z, or got a confession, you'd be like, yes, coffee. Do you know what I mean? Like there's definitely things that could come up and make it a little bit more fun. I don't want you to have boring dates. Like money doesn't have to be boring. It can be fun. So I think it's about reflecting on what you've achieved, maybe what you could do

better. But if you've never done this before, it would be about sitting down and going, how do you feel about a budget before you even fill one in? If we do a budget together, what would that look like to you? And your partner might go, I don't know if I want to do a budget back. It feels a bit restrictive. Okay. Well, let's make sure that it's not a restrictive budget. Let's make sure it's just reflective of what we spend so that we understand every dollar that comes in and every dollar that goes out. Does that feel better? Oh yeah, actually that would be really helpful because I'd love to know what I spend on X or Y or Z. So I feel like it's not just about patting yourself on the back and being like, oh, good

job, Bec. Woo. It's actually psychology 101. When you acknowledge the progress that you've already had, it releases dopamine and we love dopamine. Yes. And you're literally training your brain to crave that feel good feeling so that you keep making positive changes.

Yeah. Okay. Like if your partner sat down every single month and I essentially helped celebrate you and what you've achieved and I said coffee before if you're playing along at home the reason I mentioned coffee is Beck what's your goal this year for coffee well I'm not going to spend any money on coffee not going to buy coffee anything yeah but if your partner sat you down and said Beck how's that going and you go oh my gosh another month I've slayed it I've done so good I didn't do it I made coffee at work like imagine if we're celebrating that every single month

instead of you setting that intention at the start of the year and then nobody asking about it yeah true and then you're kind of like one day you wake up tired and you're like oh who cares anymore Exactly. But imagine if there was a scheduled check-in and you just know it's coming. Yeah. It can't be exciting. It's like, nope, no matter what, I'm very tired today. And so, I'm extra proud that I'm not buying a coffee. Pat me and tell me I'm pretty. Like, it's going to work. Is it that hard? Is it that hard? Exactly. So, I feel like it's literally psychology 101. Yeah. And for me, that works. And I think if you're in a couple asking, what's one goal that we've smashed together? Or, you know, keeping each other accountable. If you're single, going,

all right, what is one move that I did this month that made me feel like a boss or made me feel like I've killed it or is really helping towards my goals? And I mean, if you're single and you love this idea of money date, you have other single friends, imagine doing this with a buddy. Like it becomes this, I don't know, aspirational goal setting task. And this is me probably extrapolating it out, but it could be like a vision boarding moment as well. Like you guys could keep a joint Pinterest of like cute images that keep you motivated or like make collages that could be your backgrounds to stay on track and like just having an accountability buddy helps I think yes I love yappin so like why not yeah cute we should have a vision 49 yes like old

magazines yes and I'll bring the wine I'm happy to spend $14.99 don't you worry easy and then we can get like old magazines and I have this little Polaroid printer that prints out photos from your phone. So if there's like a photo, anyway, it'll be cute. We'll talk about this later. Okay. But we want to dream big because from my perspective, it not only gives you direction, which we love, but it really taps into your values and makes your goals feel, I don't know, exciting and meaningful because after all, if you don't dream it, like how on earth are you going to achieve it? Yeah. Like if we can't think about it logically, how are you going to be able to achieve that goal? Whether it is, you know, getting a promotion at work or it is, you know, just saving your first

$500 into your emergency fund, or it could be a really big financial goal, like buying your first home. Like if we can't visualize it and if we can't see ourselves actually doing that, how on earth are you meant to back yourself into doing it? Yeah. Like how on earth are we meant to achieve something if you feel the whole time like you're like i want to do that but i can't how are you meant to get to your destination if you don't know what to type into google maps exactly it's just on the right page but you could be asking yourself lots of different questions like oh what are our money values and if you don't know them like how are we going to work that out like we could start asking questions and it's like the process of elimination

Bec, would you spend $1,000 buying a horse? I would. You would? It's probably I probably would. But, like, let's talk about why. Why would you do that? Like, fun. Like, you know, being a little bit wistful.

Maybe you are really impulsive. Like, let's talk about that. That brings out a lot. Okay. Bec, would you spend $2 million on a house? In this hypothetical, do I have the money? Yeah, you've got $2 million. Heck, yeah.

You'd buy a house. I'd buy a house. But why would you buy a house? Oh, I see. Well, that's a good question, Vy. Because we can ask ourselves questions. Totally. About money that we have not got.

Yeah, that's so true. These are questions that my husband and I like to throw at each other. And I don't know, I wouldn't want you being a fly on the wall in these conversations because they are silly conversations that don't mean anything. But my husband the other day was like, would you spend $10 million on a house? By the way, I do not have $10 million to spend on a house. And I was like, I don't think so. Yeah.

Like, that's a lot of money. and don't get me wrong I'm very lucky that I live in a good area and I have a beautiful home but like that's just not my vibe that's just not who I am and I was like oh actually the idea of spending that much on an item I don't like that doesn't feel good yeah and my husband and I had this really good conversation about like how we feel about that we're like and this is going to sound so entitled if we had three million dollars to live in our dream area with like our dream school and our dream everything and we had that money and it was comfortable I was like I'm not going to say it makes sense but like that would add up because I feel like some houses in Melbourne

cost that and they're not like extravagant 10 million dollar houses like I mean in Brunswick it costs like two million dollars just for a terrace house nowadays right so I'm not saying that that is reasonable but these are the conversations that you can open up and you know you could even have with your girlfriend and be like Jess would you spend 10 million dollars on house? Yeah. You can go, oh, wow. Like I do value having a roof over my head, but I don't know that much. Yeah. But like, where's the balance? What do those things look like? We can be wistful. We can be wishful. We can, you know, pretend for a moment because it really does help drive our values. Yeah. Because like that tells me, okay, my values are actually pretty strong

in that area. And it's not about what you earn and what you spend. It's actually about like how you're going to allocate that money and you're telling me if I had unlimited money, would you do that? And I was like, oh no. Yeah, there's so much more I could do with that. That's a great point. It's like saying, Bec, would you spend $500,000 on a car? Yeah, no, that's where I would draw my line. You go, no, it's a vessel's getting me from A to B. Okay, so other people would. And like no judgment. No, no, no. Like I don't care what you spend your money on, but like we need to have these weird conversations to help draw out our values. Yeah, so true.

And I'm not saying that they're normal things that we would do, but, like, you've just told me that maybe your values are a little bit different to somebody who does value that. Yeah. Great. We're moving towards understanding our values and what we're doing. Absolutely. So we're working that out.

And then, you know, you could extrapolate it down as well, and I could be like, Bec, what would you do if you had $10,000 tomorrow? Yeah, sure. Okay, well, what would I do? Would you pay off your parking fines? The thing is, I just don't think I'm there yet. No, you're not ready to commit to giving the city of Melbourne their money? Not yet.

I think I would do something like go on a big holiday or blow it all and then end up in the same position. That's just what I do. Okay. And I mean, I'm trying to work with you on this. And do you know what? I love how honest you are. Thank you.

And I hope you know that I don't judge you. Thank you, V. My job is to give you all the education so that you can make a decision. That's true. That feels comfy for you. I feel like we do that well. Yeah, I think so. I'm like, pop off queen. What would you do if you had $10,000?

I'm a bit boring. And I guess this question really plays into my financial privilege because I already have an emergency fund. And right now I'm trying to be as honest as possible. I would probably just pop it in my offset. Yes. Okay. Like I'd probably pop it in my offset because right now there's nothing that I would want to purchase or do with that money. But it would make me feel a little bit more secure. It would bring down my mortgage repayment slightly because it would offset the interest. I'm very lucky. But other people would have different commentary around that because like you said, you go on a trip or do something really fun. Someone else might be like, oh, I've got medical bills. Someone

else might say, oh, I really want to help my mum buy a car. Someone else might say, oh, I would just blow it all at the pokies. Like everybody else has these different values. And I think it's about answering it honestly because I'm not going to judge you. Bec's not going to judge you. No. It's about just really starting to understand your value set and what's going on. So I feel like that's a really good place to go to a break. What do you reckon Bec? Yeah, let's top up our red wine, get those tunes going, have a little dance and we'll be back soon. Welcome back everyone. So, V, what is next in our money date lineup? So, now we've been a little bit aspirational and we've asked some really silly questions.

Oh, the fun part. Like, did you know that you can buy $500,000 cars? I know that is crazy, isn't it? It blows my mind that someone could spend half a million dollars on a car. Yeah, that's wild. Like, wild to me. If you've got it. This is where we're going to reflect and realign.

Yes. So, this is where we can learn from the past month. We can sit down and be like, okay, we're being a little bit silly. Let's rein it in. let's reflect on a few things that we've done in the last month so that we can hopefully like spot some patterns or see where we're working towards. And we're going to look at the good and the bad because at the end of the day, I want you to look at the bad and get to a point where we're not feeling bad about it. Let's pretend, Bec, you fell off the bandwagon with your coffee

sitch. Yeah. And I bring it up and go, Bec, you've, you know, gone out for coffee six times in the month. I don't want you to feel sick about that. I want to be able to bring things up with you and have these conversations. And you go, yeah, that's an observation. Full stop, end of story. I'm not feeling sick about it. I'm not feeling attacked. I'm not feeling judged. It's just an observation. Because does it help you to crucify past you? What does that do? It just makes you feel bad about your situation. And it actually just perpetuates this idea that you're not good at money. Totally. And your brain is wired. We're just pointing it out because we need to highlight it so that we can talk about it. But I'm just pointing it out. I'm not doing it to

make you feel like trash about yourself. Because if I do that, we're just perpetuating this idea that you're not good at achieving goals. You're not good at setting and achieving what you want to do. And Beck, you're not good at money. And I'm not saying that's true, but that's how you feel when I bring things like that up. But I want to get to a point where I can just say, oh, observation and fell off the bandwagon six times, Bec. You go, oh, my gosh, yes, let's talk about it. I went out for coffee with a couple of girlfriends. And we might find that there are some really beautiful reasons

why you fell off the bandwagon. Yeah. Or we might find an underlying problem. Like we might find something that's underlying that's really just not helping you that we need to work through. Yeah, I was feeling like trash about myself at work so I popped downstairs and got another coffee because, like, I was just thought it would perk me up. Yeah.

Did you feel bad about that? no absolutely not exactly so we really want to work through these things and be able to spot patterns and then realign to ensure that the plan that we've put in place evolves with you and grows with you and is the right fit for you so it means that we're able to keep our financial goals super relevant and also achievable i think it's about i don't know mid-course correction to keep your money on track and you on track because i see this all the time and i used to be very and i'm let's be honest, I'm still very guilty of this. I'll set a goal. I'll say I'm working towards it. I'll commit to my husband. I'll be like, I'm going to do X, Y, Z this month. And then we check in a

month later and I haven't done it. And I'm like, oh, maybe next month. Yes. About that. Don't look this way. Yeah. How about we talk about you? And that I think is really important to reflect on because if I don't identify why that has happened, it's just going to happen the next month. Sure, sure. So let's identify why that's happening so that I can get on course and maybe reach out for my partner's support in staying on course if it's that important to me. Yes. So what's next? Next, we're going to look at areas that you might be able to improve. And we need to remember here

that your money date, judgment-free zone. Like I can say to my husband in that safe space, nah I wouldn't spend 10 mil on a house but also 20 bottle of wine on a weeknight you're insane like I think it's these conversations that are really important in a relationship and it's funny because there's such a juxtaposition often even in my spending where my values are really reflective like I'll buy a very expensive skirt let's pretend I spent a couple of hundred dollars on an outfit or a skirt that I really wanted back. But then I look at white t-shirts and I'm like, I am not spending more than $10 on that. You can get that at Kmart. Like why do designer companies do white t-shirts? But that's my money values and yours might be

different. You might be like, Victoria, that's insane. I would never spend anything more than $50 on a skirt or $20 or I would never even buy anything new. And that's your values. But mine here there and everywhere and I feel like that's a good thing yeah I feel like there's this idea that because you have money you should spend more of it there certainly is right like obviously because Victoria has some money she should always have expensive things nah it doesn't spark joy but absolutely not so I think it's about planning where we can improve and then just getting into the nitty-gritty of it if you're like I really want to save some more money we're gonna plan out our upcoming expenses. Be like, all right, Bec, what next bill is coming up? Is it going

into winter? Do you reckon our electricity is going to be more expensive? Let's have a look at what last year's was and what we spent on that. Or it's coming into summer. Are we going to use our aircon more? How much did that cost last year so that we can predict some things? We're going to have a look at our subscriptions. I think the thing with subscriptions is, Bec, you can get rid of them and get them back whenever you want. That's so true. It does feel like a failure, but it shouldn't be that way. Just delete it. If you're going away for a month and you're not going to be on your TV or you've got a busy work period, get rid of Netflix. I'm sorry, Netflix is probably not going to sponsor me because I keep being like, just delete it. It's

fine. But you can get it back later. And you know what my favorite thing about this is? I delete stuff all the time. If you go into your Apple subscriptions, you can see where they all are because I subscribe through my phone and through Apple. The amount of times I delete Netflix and then they email me a welcome back offer. And I'm like, yes, yeah, you're right. There is a new series I'm interested in and I'm willing to pay you this month on and off and on and on. I can't be trusted, honestly, or even upcoming life events. Like let's make sure that we are planning for things. So if you've got a wedding coming up, like how much is that going to cost? Like what are you going to wear? Are you getting a gift? Like what's transportation

or accommodation or whatever? I just think it's a really good opportunity to try something new or make mini challenges. Like mini challenges. I do this in my personal life and I do it in my work life. So at work, I often make mini challenges for my team and I, and we have like a month of focus on one particular topic. So like one month that might be about, you know, client leads, or it might be about automation and system processes or whatnot. But I just go, all right, it's kind of like a sprint. We're just going to do this for a month. So instead of always talking about like, oh, I'd really love to automate a few processes. Nah, nah, nah. This is the month to do it. You can do that with your budget as well. You can be like, okay, cool. This month we're

really focusing on automation. What else can I automate? Like, can I automate this? What can I do? And I think it's about, you know, maybe you could like do a no spend week. We don't have to do it forever. Like if cutting back on your spending back is challenging for you, what about we just do it on a really small scale? Like intermittent fasting. Yeah. Yeah. That's much cheesier right yeah what if I said to you Beck this year you have to spend less I wouldn't know even what to do okay but what if I said hey Beck let's have a no spend week oh yeah like I feel like you rise to a challenge oh yeah say less I can do it for a week yeah I can do anything I can do anything for a week fantastic but can we do that can we try meal prepping how many people

who have you spoken to are like, I could never meal prep. It's just not for me. Okay. I hate it. Try it. Just try it. Try it. And you know what? I know Bex tried it and hates it. I hate it. But you tried it. Absolutely. You tried it. And I think that's important. Set yourself a goal of, I don't know, clearing out the pantry and the fridge before you go to the supermarket. Yeah. Like maybe you set a goal for yourself that this month is a month to save money on food. Like we're not going to do it forever, but like maybe you're going to go above and beyond this month to be as frugal as possible on food because at the end of the month, you might have some cool new habits. You might learn that you never want to do that again as well, but you might have some

cool new habits. You might've found, you know, a new recipe for work lunches that is really budget friendly that you actually like and it's super easy. Or you might find that shopping your pantry first is actually something you can get around really easily. Oh my God. So true. Like there are just small things that doing a little challenge could then mean that you implement better financial habits in the future. You might accidentally pick up a great habit. I think it's worth it. And also maybe you're finally looking at your super balance. I don't know. Slippery slope, guys. Okay. So we've got our plan. Yeah. How do we wrap up our money date? So you're coming to the end of your money date.

Yeah. It's a bit awkward. Like do you kiss? Do you hug? You can. You can do whatever you want. A little bit more challenging if it's a single money date, but do whatever you wish. I'm going to sound a little bit woo-woo-da-loo-loo. I don't even mind. but trust me there again is a little bit of science behind this but you know what we're doing Bec we're always ending our money dates with gratitude and intentions great love it I love it as well and it sounds lame but it's so nice so you're gonna write down together or on your own what you're grateful for and then you're gonna pair it with clear financial goals you're not just planning you're actively boosting your chances of success because as you know I'm stats

scale. And I really love to dive into the research of like the psychology of money and what that looks like. Don't be surprised if one day I come into the office and I'm like, I'm doing my PhD in the psychology of money. How elite would that be? Oh man, I can see that for you. Sleep-free slope. But research shows that practicing gratitude actually lowers stress, increases motivation, while setting intention creates a roadmap to keep you on track. Gorgeous. I love that. Isn't that so sexy? Yeah, that's great. And then together, they're going to create, I don't know, a really powerful mindset for you that helps you achieve your goals faster and with

more focus. And we love that. We love that. That's what we need. We love that, Bec. Absolutely. How do we do that exactly? Well, you write it down. Oh, we're writing. Yes. But back to what I was saying before. So we really want to celebrate our progress. So celebrate not only your savings or what date you've paid off or, you know, that you checked your super balance this month for the first time ever. But let's celebrate the fact that you actually showed up. You did this. That is so good. And I'm just so excited because past you would never, future you is very thankful. Oh, yes. And then we're going to write down three things that we're grateful for. I don't know why we do

three, but I always do three. Sure. If you've got more. Like, have you ever written down what you're grateful for? I have. I feel shy, even though I'm the only one writing it and reading it. You don't have to tell me. You don't have to tell me, but one time. No, no. But like, as I'm writing, I feel shy for some reason. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I used to have this Kiki K journal and it was a daily journal of gratitude and it like had prompts and that really helped me because I'm not the type of gal who just gets a piece of paper

out and then happily writes. Maybe this is where I get my three from. It asked me three things I'm grateful for, like what my intentions were, asked me how much water I'd had. Like I quite liked that. So maybe I need to go back to that, but we're going to write down three things you're grateful for, but in your financial journey. It doesn't need to be, I guess, as deep and meaningful as that kind of sounds, but you could say, I'm really grateful that I made it through the whole week and I didn't order Uber Eats once. Love it. That's actually really big. If you're somebody that always falls onto Uber Eats as like the backup dinner, or you might say, I'm really grateful my account didn't get declined when I tapped for petrol this month.

Yeah. Like, cause those are small things that you just go, I actually worked really hard for that not to happen. Like, and I remember being in those situations and I'd be like, I hope this go through. And there were a few times where I just knew I didn't have the money, but I'd had a previous experience where it had overdrawn my account and I was betting on the fact that it would hopefully overdraw my account again. It's very stressful when that happens. It's very stressful, but you just go, I hope this does. And then when it does, you're like, oh, thank God. But then you're knowing that you have an overdrawn account. Yeah. But that's okay as long as you're out of there.

Because I wasn't always good with money, Bec. No, absolutely. And I think that that's why I'm now good with money because I learned, I don't have to do that. Or I can change that about me. And I mean, if I can do it, you can do it. If you can do it and I can do it, anyone can do it. Like it's the best. And then we're going to set an intention. So what's one thing that you could do next month to keep that going? Like if you were like, oh my God, I didn't order Uber Eats once. I'm so proud of myself. Like, do you want to continue that? Like, how would you continue that? Like what's an intention to maintain that

goal. And then of course, before it's over, I want you to pull out your calendar. When are we having an ex-money date, Bec? We're going to put it back in because if you don't make the appointment right then and there, it's not going to happen. No, that's so true. It's like when I get my lashes done. Yeah. Very niche experience. But if I do not rebook my lash appointment then and there, they become real scraggly. I don't book for weeks. I can't find the time for it. They end up all coming out, I have to set a whole new appointment to get a full set again, instead of maintaining them like I should have in the first place. So like, what have I learned? That we always have to set the appointment before I leave the premises. And the same thing happens for your

money dates. Unrelatable for you. I don't think you've ever had lash extensions, but you know what I mean, right? Oh, absolutely. I do this all the time. You got to set it then and there, or you will never, ever go on back. So don't forget last step, but I would say maybe the most important so obviously valentine's day i mean and you love love i think we should give everyone a gift i think we should if they got to the end of this episode they deserve the gift which is why we didn't mention it earlier because if you didn't get the full way through like you're not getting the prezzy that's cheeky but you know i love a guide you know i love making documents and things that i can distribute among the community i mean you remember our savings charts

One of my favorite things ever, but I've made it a little bit easier for you. So we've put together a very cute guide for running your money date. Oh, cute. There is a version for couples and there's obviously a version for singles. And we've included more than 30 different prompts to get your conversation going. So I'll link that in the show notes, download it for free. Money win. That is so sweet. It's so cute too. It's so aesthetic. I got a graphic designer to make it look very, very pretty so that you like feel like your money date is a little bit fancy. That is so cute. I actually think I might download that. Yeah, I'm going to send it to you. Don't worry. I'll send it to Jess as well and be like,

use this on Beck. Yes, please. Absolutely. Now, don't forget, press follow and subscribe to the podcast so we can keep bringing you the content you love. Adore. And my friends, remember that money dates, they don't just have to be about numbers. They're about building a relationship with your finances and then feeling good and achieving goals and creating the life that you deserve. Happy Valentine's Day next week, my loves. Happy Valentine's Day. Bye. the advice shared on she's on the money is general in nature and does not consider your

individual circumstances she's on the money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision if you do choose to buy a financial product read the pds tmd and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs victoria divine and she's on the money are authorized representatives of money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN 321 649 27708 AFSL 451 289.