She's On The Money - Winners Are Grinners!

Episode Date: November 23, 2023

We didn't know at the time of recording, but She's On The Money won Best Business Podcast at the 2023 Australian Awards! Yes, that means we beat Mark Bouris! We're also celebrating money wins, and Bec has another left of field broke tip to share. Then, the girls offer advice about approaching the conversation with your partner, about them contributing to your super while you're off on maternity leave, and whether it's even a fair question when there's a large pay disparity. Then, we help one of our beautiful community members, who has bills to pay, $300 that has disappeared, and a potentially deceitful friend. Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kernai, Wolperi and Awadjeri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjeri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money. She's on the money.

Hello and welcome to She's On The Money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. My friends, today is Friday again, which means it is time to get my beautiful team together and celebrate you, our incredible She's On The Money community. Today, Ms. Jasgrichi is going to be sharing her favorite money wins from our community. Bec has a few sneaky broke tips. I don't have anything to contribute this week. I'm so sorry, Bec. That's okay. I ran out. There was one and done last week. We'll be helping to answer a juicy money dilemma, which this week is all about asking your partner to make superannuation contributions while you're on parental leave, which I think is really spicy because I don't know if you guys know, but I'm pregnant and I have

had this conversation with my husband. So it's been interesting seeing both sides of the coin. Obviously, as a staunch feminist advocate, I want everybody to be thinking about their superannuation when they take any type of leave from the workplace. But now I'm the one also sitting down going, hey, husband, what are we doing about this super thing? Because I'm not going to be happy if I'm behind, of all people. Anyway, we're also going to be unpacking something that you slid into our DMs about, which this week, get this, we're going to be talking about a potentially deceptive friend and a missing sum of cash. Spicy. Drama. That is so juicy. I love it. All right, guys, how have your weeks been? Before we get into the episode and before

we get to the juicy stuff. I don't know, maybe you have had juicy weeks. You go first, Jess. Technically, we've been to the podcast awards, but because of time travel, we haven't been to the podcast awards yet. So we're going tonight. We're up for a couple of awards. Which is so exciting. It is actually so nice. Like obviously awards don't mean anything, but when someone recognises... I'm sorry, what? They mean a lot to my little ego. Yeah. When someone recognises, I guess, the hard work that you do, it's just like so lovely. It's gratifying because, you know, obviously we have had a few awards and recently we were finalists in the Telstra Best of Business Awards, which for me was massive. And while we didn't take away the win, I was just, we got the

like certificate in the mail of like, you're a finalist. And I was just like, this just means we're on the right track and we're doing the right things. And people like the right people are seeing our content and saying the stuff that you're doing is having an impact. Because obviously there's heaps of podcasts around and the idea that our podcast actually gets recognized to me is wild yeah but also it's just really validating because I think I'm doing the right thing and I'll sit in this room and I promise you guys will be like yeah yeah yeah we're so good at the right thing but to have an external party go hey guys that's pretty impressive you just go are you serious so whether we win or not tonight I kind of don't mind it's just being in that lineup

of like, hey, look at all these other podcasts that we're up against. Because, like, the category we're up in, we're up against our friend Glen James, who I adore, and I think his podcast will be very hard to beat. But then, you know who else is in the category? Mark Boris. Oh, yes. I don't know how she's on the money when it comes to being a good business podcast is going to beat Mark Boris.

So, yeah, I will probably be eating some humble pie later this week. But I'm just excited to be, you know, in the line-up with the big dogs. Yeah, very exciting. Very exciting. Yes, technically we have been, but I don't know yet if we, I feel like we had a fun time. Yeah. When we go. We have a fun time. We have a fun time tonight. But yeah, the week's been so good. It's just been chill. It's been busy. Best friend's birthday on Wednesday. It was my birthday. What are you talking about? It was your birthday on Wednesday. I think you forgot. Best friend. I get it. I get it. But no, just real chill, real nice weekend. Busy,

busy and good. And what about you, V? I did nothing. It was amazing. Spent some time with friends and family, took my dog for a lot of walks. She was very happy. I feel at the moment, my favorite thing ever is literally doing nothing on my weekends. Like it's wild. It's absolutely wild. Rest and recover. Yeah. At this time of year, there's nothing I like more than a quiet weekend. I've been spending a lot of time just like on TikTok watching Christmas videos. Real question though, this isn't an attack on you, Jess, because you love Christmas. You adore Christmas and I know how you manage it like you always like add a few decorations to your pre-existing stash but I've seen this year specifically on TikTok and Instagram videos

people being like here's my Christmas haul and then they're spending like huge my entire Christmas like gift budget on like redecorating their entire house whereas I've grown up in a house where like the same Christmas decorations have been coming out for like the last 30 years of my life yeah Is that, like, are we meant to be, like, redecorating an entire tree and having a brand new theme? Jess is excluded from this. She can answer the question. But, like, she's a Christmas girly but, like, does it on a budget. But I feel like I am seeing every influencer being like, here's my pottery barn haul.

And, like, I bought two pottery barn pillows recently for Christmas because I was obsessed. And I basically had to remortgage my entire house. So, like, where are these women getting the money for the Christmas decorations? Yeah, it's excessive, hey. Lots of people are saying that like this time of year, Christmas, Black Friday, this year particularly is feeling really consumer driven, like very bye, bye, bye, sale, sale, sale. Like it started earlier than normal. And like, I have no issues with that because as you said, I love Christmas.

I will celebrate it for three months. So I was like, don't see this as a personal attack. I just want to talk about this content. No, but I think, I wonder if it's got something to do with the recession and the fact that there, I mean, companies... It could be like the lipstick index, but it's the Christmas index. Well, yeah, I think companies are probably obviously trying to drive sales because consumer spending is down and that's their job. Correct. But I think, I mean, for me,

I know that Christmas is really an emotional holiday and that's why I buy into it so much is that it has very special memories for me as a child and that's something I want to continue through. And so obviously, like you said, I budget for it. Like I plan for it. I'm not spending me on my needs. But I know no one else is. Yeah. Just as a little wizard. And if she wasn't, she wouldn't be on the She's On The Money team. Like she's the best little budgeter. I can't even. Yeah. But I just know that everyone on TikTok isn't doing that. They're just like racking up their credit cards for so much Christmas content. Yeah. And like it's easy to be sucked in. Even

all the sales, like I keep having to remind myself and I have a few money wins on this note, like you don't need everything that you see that's on sale. Like it's, you're still spending money. Yeah. I feel like it just needs to be said to go, you know what, that's actually not that normal. Like most people just use the Christmas decorations they bought the year before. And like I have a themed tree. Like it's when I say themed, I mean it's like one color palette. And every year I like add a few Christmas decorations to that or like, you know, I don't know. What are we talking, Jess?

Maybe like $30 I'll spend on that because like I'll always wait until like they have the sales on the Christmas decorations. Yeah. I'm not spending full price. Boxing day. No, boxing day. Even the lead up. Yeah. Even the lead up.

40% off usually. Like right now during the Black Friday sales, my favourite Christmas decorations are like 40% to 60% off. So I'm like, well, I'm going to pick those up because from memory, they don't get cheaper on Boxing Day. They just have less. They just have less stock. So I need it right now.

But I'll spend maybe $30 and get six or seven, you know, additional decorations and I think that's normal. Sure. Do you even have to do that? No. Yeah. Normalise using what you have or like being happy with what you have. Like I get it.

Like I'm so guilty of being sucked into it. like the social media consumerist thing but this is your little reminder like what you have is perfectly good and if you want to update it there are so many ways you can diy a little refresh paint your baubles if you want a different color scheme something like that like there are lots of little hacks and tricks you can use that you don't have to spend money to make it feel new if that's what you want exactly all right well let's get into the actual show i just wanted to rant about christmas because any opportunity to talk about christmas is a good one to take Miss Jessica Ricci, what have you got when it comes to money,

wins and confessions this week? Starting off with a small but solid one from Kelsey. She said, something small but price matched my giant dog food bag. It's usually $160 but I got it for $122 and I also had a $10 pet stock reward. 13 kilos of dog food for $112. That's so good. I just, price matching. Don't forget about price matching, especially at this time of year

because everything is on sale. Next, I have a money win from Kieran who said, I saved $6,000 on top of my $1,000 emergency fund. I'm planning on selling my car soon and I am hoping to make $4,000. So I make my goal of saving 10 grand to move overseas. So far, if it all goes according to plan, I have reached my goal two months earlier than I planned. Congrats. Very exciting. Now I've got a money loss from Grace who said, money loss. I caved to some Black Friday deals and impulse bought some ones which have blown my budget out a little further than I intended. But I'm taking this as my reminder to sit down and fine-tune my budget and goals to better hold myself accountable. And then on the

flip side of that, I have a win from Nellie who said, money win. I'm taking advantage of the early Black Friday sales to start and finish my Christmas shopping so I can start saving towards my rego. I feel like this is the reminder that I also need, like the Christmas thing I bring up because I kind of started to play into it a little bit. I was like, oh, yeah, maybe I will do. And, Jess, you've already heard this from me. I was like, what if I did an entire rainbow Christmas tree? Like instead of having my normal Christmas tree that I pull out

every single year because I have a plastic one. Don't come for me. Don't want to hear it. But I said to Jess, oh, my gosh, what if I went and bought like all rainbow decorations? So it could be like an ombre from the top. Think about it. Red, orange, yellow, green, pink, blue.

Like it would just be a sleigh. and Jess was obviously all in because she's Christmas girly. Like if you want Jess to talk you out of something, if you're her friend, it's not going to happen. She'll be like, that sounds great. Let's do it. But I sat down and was like, hold up, wait, what am I going to do with all these decorations once Christmas is over? What am I going to do, you know, at this point? And then I was thinking of ways to justify it. I was like, what if I videoed it? Then it could be like content that I put on the internet. Then it's like, you know, it makes sense. sure no you don't need the rainbow Christmas tree so I will be having a gold Christmas tree again

love it yeah lovely I just I can't justify it guys yeah I just feel like Nellie and Grace are two flip sides of the way to look at it right like you can be sucked in and you can be a little bit disappointed maybe in what you've bought and be a little bit stressed because you've pushed your budget out or you can use it to your advantage the sales aren't inherently bad we talk a lot about just making a list checking it twice you making the sales work for you so yeah I feel like it was just really interesting that we had two people go kind of either way on the same thread. I think it's so funny. It actually, if you haven't seen our Instagram post as well from this week, we did five questions to ask yourself before impulse buying on Black Friday. And we posted

that on Tuesday. So just to give you a quick rundown, first question is ask yourself, do you really need it? Second, can I find a better deal later? Because like so many times Black Friday deals are so impulsive that you never think you're going to get it ever again. But then you kind of do a bit of research on the product and you realize it gets discounted every sales season. Number three, does it fit your budget? Number four, have I waited 24 hours before committing to purchase this? And I promise Black Friday is not just one day, is it Jess? It's like a little season. It's been gone two weeks at least. Exactly. So like you do have time to put 24 hours between you and your spending. And number five, will I regret this tomorrow? So five

questions to ask yourself before you do that and hopefully they can help you stay off the confessions list in our money wins and confession thread but please add your confessions because I feel like everyone feels so much more heard when we share them yeah it's not us going oh Bec I can't believe it it's literally us going like girl we get it good reminder very good reminder thank you Grace next money win is from Sophie who said my usual train line is being closed for 18 months to allow for upgrades and to compensate for the inconvenience they're giving everybody six months of free travel. On what?

The train you can't get on? Yeah, buses maybe. Life loss though because the other options take so much longer for me to get to work, but at least it's free. At least it's free. Six months when it's 18 months or so. Yeah, I'm like, oh. The math ain't math in there.

Yeah. Someone needs to raise a few questions with our council there. I think the whole 18 months should be free. I agree. Who am I to say? I think the entire 18 months should be free because you are being told that you're being put out for 18 months. And I mean, free public transport, when obviously the train station is closed, it's like actually the train company's fault. Free public transport is not going to

cost them that much because the train's already running. It's not like they are going to have to add additional services. Totally. Also, it's going to cost our community member more because they're probably going to have to drive to a different station or find their way there somehow, which costs time and money yeah totally but that's all right sophie seemed happy she's taking the win lastly i've got one from taylor who said money and life win we started fostering kittens this week oh my gosh why is it a money winner here you ask cat haven which is the shelter pays for all of the food the vet appointments the toys and the other supplies we get to look after these sweet little babies at no extra cost great for us because we've always wanted to have pets but

aren't in the position to be able to adopt financially or otherwise we get to help these little babies while they're overcoming their cat flu and help them find their forever homes by posting their profiles online. Cute. She put a cutie little pic of them all sleeping together. Oh my gosh. Now, nobody tell Jess that this is an option for her. I know. I was like, I could just have four more kittens. I wouldn't be mad about that. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. She's already got two. Like, she's just started collecting them. Yeah, my boyfriend's cut me off at two, unfortunately. So did mine. So what I did get this was get a dog. That's, I think, what he wants to do. And then he said, no more pets. No, we've already got three, Victoria. And

I was like, all right, hear me out. A baby. So I'm winning. I'm winning. You just keep adding to the group. But yeah, if you can foster, it's a really good thing. And I know that the shelters are really overwhelmed at the moment. I love it. And they cover the costs, which is awesome. That's really cool. That was such a good note to end on. Yeah. Kittens and Christmas. Like, what a good episode today. Bec. Yes. What have you got when it comes to broke tips this week? Okay. So as per usual, I do have two from the community and one from myself. So the first one comes from Kimberly, who has given me a really good lentil vegan chili con carn recipe. She says that using red lentils as a meat substitute, which I know is not ideal for

everyone. If you're going in for a chili con carn, you're kind of craving that meat. But if you're going for a vegan one- But also, they're delicious. Delicious. I feel like lentils have that meatiness to them, especially if you cook them low and slow. Totally. Totally. Like I have fooled my husband a number of times. Yeah, and they're so filling. So for about $10 to $12, it makes 12 large servings.

Delicious. So, I mean, if you want that recipe, hit me up and I'll get it. No, no, no, no, no. We'll put it on our Instagram stories today. Yeah, okay, yeah, perfect, perfect. So you share that with me. We'll share that with our new graphic designer, Georgia, because get this, the She's On The Money team has had a glow up.

We have a real-life full-time graphic designer. Whoa, cool. I know. and she'll put it in a little recipe card for you guys. Put it on our Insta stories. Perfect. I actually really want to try this one. Kimberly's Chili Con Can.

Kimberly's Chili Con Can. Thank you so much, Kimberly. And this next one comes from Kate who says, Hi, Bec, I have a broke tip for you. End of year slash Christmas parties can get expensive. So for our stealing Santa games, I've said to the team, just find something around the house that you don't want anymore and wrap it up.

Plant clippings, veggies from your garden, a plate that doesn't match the rest. It's a way to declutter and it's also free. I love this. That is so fun. I love that. I mean, it's great, like, especially if you're living in a share house. There's so many, like, random plates that don't fit anything else.

It's just going to be really funny, I feel, everyone, like, opening the bat at Santa presents. It's going to be hilarious. Totally. I kind of love that. It also gives me, like, little sister vibes. So, like, I have a little sister. Alex, if you're listening, love you.

Please look away. But every time she comes to my house, it's basically like a what can I steal from you kind of situation. She always wants my stuff. Surely other people do too. Totally. Absolutely. Totally. There's something that someone has in their house that surely is like nothing to them, but it's treasure to someone else. I love it. Makes for a really entertaining

time. Yeah, absolutely. I love it. So thank you so much for that one, Kate. All right, Bec, what is your personal broke tip from this week then? Okay. So this one, as usual, is a little bit rogue, but I was listening to this thing about embracing rejection and this kind of ties in somehow. So basically, if you're, I'm a little bit too awkward for this but if you're out and about and you're wanting to I don't know price match or try and get some free let's say cookie with your coffee order or something like embracing rejection means literally just asking the people around you my audacity is high but not that high I know I know me too and this is like it's so good for maybe like every now and then getting

a free sweet treat or getting a free like you never know what you're gonna get you might have like something be reduced a price of the price of something be reduced like i was saying a few weeks ago how my friend was going overseas and asked if the accommodation place could match her budget they did it so just asking people just asking for freebies just asking for discounts asking for you know you never know how far you get also it's like it's character building as well yeah i don't want my character built in that way i can't do it if you don't ask the answers always know isn't that the same exactly i say that all the time but like i couldn't ask for a free cookie like like I know that that's so I don't know maybe it's not as

scary if anybody has been doing this can you slide into our dms and tell us how you've been doing it without it being weird because I cannot imagine going to my local cafe and being like yep two eight lattes thank you also do you have any free cookies like how do you ask maybe it's a discount thing like maybe you say oh is there some kind of special if I buy a coffee and a cookie totally totally but then I'd have to pay for the cookie too well not necessarily like they might just go oh no no special you go okay just the coffees thank you totally if you I agree like I need the language I need the language like a lot but if you say is there some kind of deal I feel like older people like my parents especially my dad was always really good at this because I think

you get to a point where you're just not embarrassed anymore you're like well what they say no so what like do I care like is that I do I do right now well that's it I think we get so stressy about it but if you just ask and they say no and you're oh that's all right that's fine like I did get gifted a free cookie the other day though so I didn't ask for it though I was in Subway because I've recently fallen back in love with Subway like just salad sandwiches Subway I know so good and I'm always fresh yes but I'm always so in my head every time not sponsored um I'm always so like happy with the price point too anyway the girl was like oh do you want a cookie and I said yes because I felt awkward but she just gave it to me for free I thought I was gonna

have a dream and Subway cookies are delicious it wasn't that it was my first Subway cookie The macadamia one? I haven't had that one. What did you say? The one with the little M&Ms. Oh, that's new. I just want to say that's new to the rotation. Okay, we really sound like we're plugging Subway.

Sorry. We can, like Subway if you want to work together. Subway's great, yeah. I currently am obsessed with you. Yeah. But that's okay. All right, well, Bec, I like that tip. Thank you.

I do really want to hear from the people in our community who have the audacity to ask, like, can you just like give us a little bit of a like tutorial? how do we also have that audacity because right now I feel really uncomfortable and we shouldn't feel uncomfortable so please share but let's go to a really quick break maybe we can get a cookie and after the break we're going to be talking about how to ask your partner to make super contributions during your parental leave and we're going to unpack something you slid into our dms about guys I'm excited about this one it's about a potentially deceptive friend and a missing sum of cash don't go anywhere

welcome back everybody let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma hi there have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve the she's on the money team is here to help every week we tackle your dilemmas both big and small to answer your most burning money career and life questions to get involved simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now let's take a listen to this week's Money Dilemma. Hi guys, absolutely love the podcast. My question is around, you've mentioned a few times your husband or partner contributing to your super while, you know, off having a child. So to give you some context, I earn significantly more than my husband. I'm on $125,000 and he's on

$55,000. In our everyday life, this works fine. We split everything by percentage of our income. I just don't even know how to consider the super topic while off having a baby. And I'm frustrated a system that is making it complex for me to be the high income earner and then also to have a child the way I would like to take the time off and those sort of things. Thank you. I find this a really interesting one because usually you're asking for superannuation contributions because you're going to be significantly behind when you return to the workforce. And obviously, let's pretend you're taking 12 months because I feel like that seems to be the average amount of time in my friendship group. So that kind of makes the most sense to me

to use as an example and she didn't tell us. But at the end of the day, I want your partner and you to have this conversation about contributing to superannuation while you're on parental leave because I don't want you individually or anyone at all to be going back into the workforce and having a 12-month period where no contributions are made at all. Now, if you treat everything as kind of equal, well, it wouldn't be a, now, Bec, you have to pay for my super contributions. The conversation from my perspective would be more around how are we as a couple who now have a limited budget going to make sure that I don't miss out financially for my super? Because at the end of the day, it's not just about you, it's about you and your partner, they're going to

miss out too. Because if you, you know, in a happy-go-lucky world, you stay together forever and it's all sunshine and roses, well, that super contribution decision that we're making today will put you both ahead in retirement. If something happens in your relationship, at least you haven't fallen behind because of the parenting decisions that you made, that you at the time made because they were best for your family. So it's all about making sure that we are financially stable So the contribution isn't about going, oh, my spouse has to make that from his pay. It could actually come out of your parental leave pay. It could come from some savings.

It could come from anywhere, but there are some benefits to it. So if your partner is earning less than you, what you can do is a spouse super contribution. It's a voluntary after-tax contribution into the super fund of your choice, obviously, but the person making the payment, so your husband in this circumstance, could make the contribution and like do the transfer, but they can actually benefit from a tax offset of up to 18% for contributions of up to three grand a year. So that's a money win if we look at, you know, you just do some basic maths, your usual tax rate and because what our friend wrote in is 32 and a half cents in the dollar. Inside superannuation, the average tax rate is 15 cents. So that's

obviously very sexy. And what usually happens is if you make a co-contribution or an after-tax contribution to superannuation, come tax time, the ATO go, oh, you paid 32.5 cents on the money that you put in. Let me give you a refund of that 15 cents in a dollar to make sure that you're okay. But they're giving you a little bonus. Now it's 18. So there's like a little bit of a money catch there, which is very nice and obviously a way to, I guess, encourage you to make these contributions. But when it comes to who should be paying it, it's not actually going, hey, husband, you have to. It's, hey, our family budget looks like this and superannuation and my retirement and financial freedom is really important to me. How are we making sure that

I'm not missing a year in the market? Because compound interest is incredibly powerful and missing a year actually does put you back significantly. What do you reckon, Jess? How would you approach this conversation? Because as we all know, you're the big dog in the relationship at this point in time. Yeah, I feel like maybe $50,000 if you're going to be living just on that salary and then obviously whatever parental leave you're entitled to, it's not a lot of money to stretch. So I feel like potentially maybe saying, hey, I don't expect my super contributions to be at where they are because 11% of $125,000 is significantly more than, you know, 11% of what your partner would be earning at $50,000. So maybe you go, okay, well, at a minimum wage point,

because that's how the government calculates parental leave, I think, like it's based off of the minimum wage. Maybe you contribute to a super as if you were earning minimum wage instead as your money is still going in. Maybe it's a little bit more attainable within the means of, you know the salary that you're living off of but contributions are still being made like it's not as if no money is being put in so you are still taking advantage of compound interest and that's kind of a middle ground because I can see how for the partner that might be stressful and for you as well if you're trying to live off this one wage and you're just trying to pay your bills and pay for all of the newborn expenses and then contributing that superannuation at such a high

amount could maybe feel like a stretch so maybe it's approaching it and saying hey like can we find a rate that does fit within our budget that we can contribute. And, you know, if we need to make some other sacrifices to make that work, that's what we do because it's a small amount to be living off of as a family of three. But I think you're totally right. Like explaining why it's important as well, because I think men particularly, but people generally, like I've had this conversation with my friends and a lot of them had never thought about it either. You don't really think about the super and you don't think about the fact that if you aren't contributing while you're on parental leave, that that has a really significant impact on you down the track.

So even running the numbers and being like, hey, like I miss out on $5,000 over the course of the year and in 30 years that $5,000 could have been X, you know. So explaining the numbers to them, I think, and showing them the why and what it means. And I suppose not making it seem as though you're just saying, oh, I want money because that's what I always have. Because I think if you approach the conversation with someone who's never thought about it, they might just be a bit taken aback from a lack of understanding. And so educating them might be really helpful in having that conversation than being flexible in the amount I feel like is maybe the best way to make it work. I agree. I think it's so important to talk about it as well and

maybe not just go, oh, the only way is for my partner to contribute because there are a number of different super strategies you could implement, right? Like you could do a number of things. So I have had clients historically go, oh, in the next couple of years, I think I'm going to take leave. so what I'm going to do is bump up my super contributions by 2% and they've calculated that all out so that puts them a year ahead so they don't even have to have that conversation with their partner because parental leave is stressful. Like it's not something that is, you know, all sunshine and roses. Like my husband and I are going through this like planning stage at the moment where we go, okay, he gets three months at his full-time salary, right? So we are currently

trying to work out our budget for him to take six months at half pay. But it's all about doing the maths and the numbers and working it all out. And I'm sure that if you're in this circumstance, you're doing it too, but there's a number of different strategies you can implement. So I guess let's contextualize this too. So research tells us that two children could lead to $100,000 in lost super. So obviously we have paid parental leave and all of these fun, fancy things, but not many of them include superannuation. And that's because employers are not obligated to make super contributions while you're on parental leave, which is great. One thing I think that employers could be doing is going, you know what, Jess,

we are a small business. We might not be able to pay you full time for that period of time, but how about we do the government thing and your super, and then everybody is in a better position financially. You can actually call your super fund as well and let them know that you're going on parental leave and a lot of them will actually waive fees for that period of time. Amazing. So they'll waive fees on your insurances because during that period of time, you're not going to be able to get income protection because you're on parental leave. Yeah, you don't have income. You don't have income. So they might waive those fees. They might also be really kind and waive your super fees, like the admin stuff. Again, goes back to

you, Bec, what you were saying before, got to have a little bit of audacity. What kind of deal can you cut here but at the end of the day like lost super during parental leave I looked this up before analysis by industry super Australia shows a woman who spends five years out of the paid workforce in her late 20s to early 30s could be almost a hundred thousand dollars worse off in retirement and that's a lot of money totally so it's definitely ask your partner what about co-contributions can we afford this can your partner split their super so like instead of them getting their full super, can you have half of it for that period of time so that you're both on an equal playing field? Can you contribute in the lead up to having children? When you get back

to work, if you didn't have any ability to contribute to super, don't worry, guys, we're in a cost of living crisis. I totally get it. But could you bump it back up once you get back to work to kind of get back to where you needed to be? And the other thing here is if we're caring so much about super contributions have you reviewed your super recently is it the right fund for you to even be in during this period of time and are they performing well like it's not just about fees it's about fees performance structure your ethics all of those things and if you haven't reviewed your super recently now is the time because all of this is wasted if you're not getting it back on performance so obviously this is a subtle shout out as well

to our friends at Sky Wealth. They can fix all of that for you and we'll put their info in the show notes. But it's one of those things that you just go, make sure that you've got your ducks in a row, but also their house is quite sturdy. That's so true. And, I mean, I have a lot to add here, but I was just going to say

there's a lovely government organisation, Women in Super, trying to bridge that gender super gap. So that's something to mention. Yeah, no, they're cool. Other than that, really, that's all from me. You guys have fantastic advice. We try our hardest, don't we, Jess? Yeah, you guys just know exactly what you're talking about.

It's almost like I used to be a financial advisor. Yeah, you kind of seem like you used to be a financial advisor. Yeah, it's a bit weird. It's a bit weird. Let's move on, though, because I have been chomping at the bit to get to this DM this week because when I baited it before and I was like a potentially deceptive friend and a missing sum of cash, surely you guys were also like, please let us at it. We're dying.

Totally. You're dying. All right. So are you ready for the DM of the week? So ready. Here is what we received. girls, I'm going to need your thoughts on this. I was having issues with my card to pay for things and I needed to pay for a bunch of bills as soon as possible. So I sent my friend some money,

it was around $300, and asked if she could try paying them using her card because mine wasn't working. She happily accepted me transferring her the money, but said when she tried to pay the bills, it also didn't work. So I asked her to transfer the cash back and that was over a week ago. She says she's already sent it back and I should contact the bank as there isn't anything else she can do. However, we've transferred money between each other before and it happens instantly at the moment. I don't know what to think. I trust her. That's why I sent her the money in the first place to help me. But I'm starting to become sus on if she really sent it, but I can't accuse her of this. Do you think I could ask her to send her own money in the meantime

until we figure out where my money went. I desperately need that money to pay my bills, which still aren't paid. How would you handle this, girls? Oh, this is so tricky. The whole time I'm thinking, like, can she not send a screenshot of the transfer, you know what I mean? That's what I'd be asking for. I'd be like, oh, my God, I'll call the bank.

Can you please tell me what the reference number was? Yeah, and also, like, it is scary because you're like, maybe you sent it to a different person whose name looked similar to mine and you weren't really paying attention. I would just desperately want a screenshot, which I know is also bad because it kind of suggests you don't trust that they sent it or something. I don't think so. I have literally sent money to the wrong person before, haven't I, Jess?

Totally. Actually, when I say that, it was Jess sending my money to one of my friends instead of a supplier. It was very, very funny. It was a lot of money. Oh, I see. Not a good time. And you know what?

Shout out to Hayley Short. I know she listens to this podcast. She called me immediately and was like, um, I don't think you meant to do this. Can you please come and take it back ASAP? And I was like, um, yeah, I'm so sorry. That's really nice. Yeah, because she's a wholesome human being, but it doesn't sound like your friend is one. So what do we do?

I guess, I guess also like if you have that relationship where you can borrow money from each other and stuff like that, because it seems like you've transferred money in the past, maybe you can ask to borrow the $300. And then I really don't know. I guess you just need proof. is all I'm thinking. Yeah. I feel like you've got to, like, if she hasn't done anything wrong, benefit of the doubt, and she's just like, I don't know, like I sent the money, there shouldn't be any issue with her sending the screenshot. I feel like maybe rather than sending the screenshot,

get together and say, hey, you know, I've spoken to my bank. They need the reference number to be able to look into it. Can you just pull it up on your phone and show me? And if she goes, for whatever reason, she can't say no dramas, let's try calling your bank because we'll need to verify your identity to get that information. I can't call your bank and get that info for you. Can we just give them a buzz now and be honest and say, I just, I really need it sorted because I like, I have bills to pay. I so agree with that. I would just operate under the assumption that she has not lied to you because it's going to come out in the wash. Like it's now, I guess, 2023 and everything is electronically documented. So I would do exactly what Jess said and go,

hey, can you send me the reference number? I'm going to call my bank and just have them follow up on it. And maybe put a little bit of the fear of God in turn and be like, oh, if you can't find that, maybe we should really like flag your bank and my bank for fraud. Like what's happened? Where has it gone? Like my bank has confirmed it went to your bank. What does this look like? Because essentially your friend's going to be backed into a corner because the bank's going to go, no, no, no. We can see it got put into this account number, this BSB. Hey, we've done what you told us to do yeah and then from the flip side you're right go all right well when can I come over and we can call your bank and like we can have a chat like we can both be on the phone yeah because I

promise the money will probably be found very quickly or you'll honestly brutal you'll lose a friend really quickly yeah I mean the chance if it's always instant normally the chances of it taking with osco if you've transferred it should be instantaneous yes totally and like I understand that sometimes there can be like very short delays with processing or whatever, but not over the course of a week, I wouldn't think. Yeah. And you always get people communicating with you as well from the bank. So I have had, you know, times where I've transferred money to a new person. I've never had an issue with old. So like I have like everybody, you know, in my payroll and everyone that I send money to saved. And I feel like I don't even get the

security code text message anymore. They're just like, oh, chuck your banking password in and you can transfer it because this is a trusted transfer. But if it's new, they actually will message you and be like, oh, we've flagged this one. Can you please call us to verify? Or can you please reply one via text message to confirm this was you transferring this? So if they hadn't communicated with you, it should have gone through immediately from my perspective, because we're talking about $300 here, not $300,000. And you're trying to get a home deposit across which takes a much bigger period of time because of banking limits so like I would get it if you were like oh my god because it is stressful right like I remember when we were buying our

first house and had to transfer the deposit for the house into the real estate like trust fund and I just remember being like yeah I checked the numbers 50 times but then also I had a transfer limit so I had to go down to the bank and pay for this manual transfer to be done of this lump sum at one time and like, I'm sorry, everything's documented. So I'm suspicious from the get go. Totally. And if the friend's listening, hey, do you really want to lose a friend over $300? It's not going to last very long and the friendship might last forever. Yeah. And have a good think about why you're doing this. Like if you're strapped to cash, okay, I totally understand it, but this is not how to solve your problem in the short term. Like in

the long term, this is going to harm you. Also the reputation that comes off this. Terrible. terrible like because people are going to ask right like oh hey Jess why don't you talk to V anymore Jess is going to go oh it's a bit awkward like we just don't talk anymore after you know I transferred her 300 bucks and you know I asked for it back and it was just awkward I don't really know what happened to it other people are going to deduct that it's not a good situation even if Jess says absolutely oh she's really nice but I just don't get it like she cut me out after that stopped replying to my message do you know what I mean it's just like you're gonna look like a bit

of a potato. Sure. Like that's not great. Sure. No one wants to be called a potato, right? That's true. Unless you're a French fry. But yeah, let's see what the community said. Obviously we asked them a few spicy questions. First one was, do you think it sounds like the friend has kept the money and lied about sending it back? Obviously we asked that one first. Yeah. 82% of you were like, yep, Yeah, we do think that. We then said, do you think this person can ask their friend to transfer their own money since hers has gone missing? 42% of you said yes, it's the friend's responsibility to help,

and 58% of you said no, it was her decision to send her money. I kind of am rocking a hard place because, like, if I transferred you money back and it genuinely went missing, like, it's kind of on me, not on you. Yeah. Like, I don't know. If you have the relevant proof to show that. Like if her friend can say, here's the transfer,

I've got no idea what's going on. 100%. But it sounds like the friend's not being very helpful either. Like if that was us and you said, hey, like the money hasn't come back, I would be on the phone to my bank being like, hey, like what's the go? Totally. I think I'm also a bit negative about this. Like, oh, can your friend transfer you some money in the interim?

I'm like, well, there's already a problem communicating about money. I don't think we need to add an extra layer of he said, she said. Like I owe you, you owe me, vice versa. Like I just think it's not worth the time. It's messy. Yeah. We said, if this was you, would you tell your friend you didn't believe they'd sent the money? 72% said, yep. And I'd ask for proof of the transfer. Wow. Ballsy people. I would never accuse anybody of anything. As I said, I'm very much a garden path kind of gal. I'd be like,

can you please send me the reference number? I'll follow it up with my bank and I'll let you dig your own grave. I'm not going to accuse you of anything I can't prove. Totally. And then 28% of you said no, but it's because I hate confrontation. Relatable. We asked, do you think it is a bad idea to ask friends for help with money problems? 77% of you said, yep, it always ends badly and ruins friendships. And 23% of you said, no, I've had really positive experiences with it. I think this is really going to depend on the friend. Like this situation shouldn't have ended up with like, oh, he said, she said, kind of like, oh, I transferred it. you didn't get it. Like you had problems with your bills and your friend was like, oh, I can try and

pay them for you. Here's the cash. I feel like Jess, that's something that you and I would do if we were in a pickle and it wouldn't be like a friendship borrowing money sitch. Like Jess would just transfer me the money and I'd try and pay the thing, right? Like that to me feels like a different thing than, you know, borrowing money from a friend. Like I think those are two different circumstances because you're like, babe, I've got the money. My bank just won't transfer it or my card's broken or whatnot because like it should have been a very easy step step step exactly but like that's just you're telling me that I gave you 300 or you know you gave me 300 bucks and then oh what a coinkydink you don't have it anymore that's a bit weird and then we

obviously get this we asked for your two cents and I love this part because some of you are savages some of you honestly need to have a good hard to think about the type of human being you are And I don't read those comments on the podcast. Others, you're really funny. You're really funny. But here are some of the responses. So my best friend lent me $1,500 for a car and I learned how to manage money so I could quickly pay her back because I owed that to her. I think that's really sweet. Positive experience. Someone said, if they are a true friend, there should be no problem in sharing the receipts and they should actually be quite motivated to help you solve this problem. So true. It's a good problem. Jess is missing

300 bucks. Like I have done way more for less. Ask Jess. Yeah. She's hunted down people on the internet. I have done a lot of things that I am not that proud of because a friend is literally like, oh my God, X, Y, Z happened to be. I'm like, sit down. Yeah. Sit down. I sound proud. I feel like that sounds like something you should be proud of. I have risked my life. Anyway, we won't go into the time that I hunted someone's phone down on Find My Friends and knocked on a random person's front door to be like, hey, we know you have the phone. Give it back. Yes. I could have died, Bec. Don't tell my husband. We said that we were going shopping. So the next person said she should ask for a screenshot of the transfer so she can go to

her bank with the evidence. Again, I think this is the page that we're all on. Someone else said, I would never accuse a friend of lying, but would ask for transfer proof so I can follow up with the bank. I feel like we're all on the same page about just like maybe not being too confrontational, but also being like, hey, Beck, can I have the proof? Because any good friend would be like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like honest to God, if I had your $300 and I had transferred it back, I would be sending you a screenshot but I'd also be like handing my phone across the table and being like, have a look, I've transferred it here,

where do you think I've gone wrong? Do you need screenshots of my entire banking history? Like this has never happened before. Can you double check the numbers? Yeah, can you just check your BSB and account number? Maybe I transferred it to the wrong thing. Like I'd be literally handing my phone across the table being like, can you have a look at this too because I automatically go to oh my god someone might

not trust me yeah like I don't want that I want to be like so transparent so it is really confusing to me when people are so like oh no I sent it yeah and then provide no proof yeah totally being a bit avoidant yeah it feels like it yeah someone said I've gotten pretty good at being confrontational about stuff, but I always end up shortchanged. That's not good. No. Someone has said, quote, I don't believe you, big red cross emoji. And then quote, send pics of transfer for my reference because I'll call my bank, please. And then big green tick emoji. I like that. Yeah. I feel like every single response is basically us going, I mean, there are a few spicy people who are not so nice, in which case have a good hard think about yourself today, my friend.

But everybody else was very, very helpful in terms of, I think, just being on the same page as us. Like 2023, everything is tracked. You will be able to track it down if your friend shares the receipts and the transfer codes and everything else. Money doesn't just go missing. Because if it did, a lot of people would be really rich and we wouldn't have any trust in our banking system here in Australia.

Also, if that person wants to give us an update, do you ever get the money back? Can you slide into our DMs and tell us? Please. Yes, seriously. The juice. All right. Well, that is all we have got this week, my friends. Thank you so much for hanging out again, Jess and Bec.

It's my favourite time of the week, having a chat with you guys about some spicy topics, also some genuine advice, but also learning about the community because you guys are literally my favourite. Let's cross our fingers because we're going to the podcast awards literally tonight. We are all jumping in the car right now to go to the airport. But it's Friday for you, so check on our Instagram

to see if we've got our tail between our legs or we won an award. But we'll see you on Monday bright and early for Money Diaries, guys. Have the best weekend. We love you. Bye, guys. Bye. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances.

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