She's On The Money - Your Ultimate Guide to Asking For a Pay Rise

Episode Date: October 15, 2024

Inflation’s rising, bills are piling up, and your paycheck? Not so much. Today we're going to fix that! This episode is all about giving you the confidence and strategy to ask for that raise, lock in some lifestyle perks, and start feeling in control of your finances. Let’s get you paid what you deserve, shall we? Acknowledgement of Country By Natarsha Bamblett aka Queen Acknowledgements. The advice shared on She's On The Money is general in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's On The Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. If you do choose to buy a financial product, read the PDS, TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards your needs.  Victoria Devine and She's On The Money are authorised representatives of Money Sherpa PTY LTD ABN - 321649 27708,  AFSL - 451289.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, my name is Natasha Nabanunga-Bamblett. I'm a proud Yorta Yorta, Kernai, Wolperi and Awadjeri woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on Awadjeri country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through. As this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow. Let's get into it. She's on the money. She's on the money.

Hello and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast that helps you grow richer in every way, especially in your wallet. I'm Bex Syed and last episode you might remember that we stretched those dollars further until they screamed. It's not the first time I've had that effect. But today we're shifting gears. It's all about making more money, honey. Oh, I love this. I am totally here for our community making more money. I'm really pumped for this chat. I feel like you're bringing the right energy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're bringing your big dog energy today. And usually in tough financial times, our instinct is to focus on saving, like tightening the belt. Like we're just trying to like scrimp and save. We're looking for

like budget recipes, like we're doing things at home instead of going out. But I want to shift that narrative. I want to change that. I want to do something different. Today, we're going to be focusing on how to bring more money in, Bec, not just how to save it. Yeah. Okay. I'm liking this. And honestly, who doesn't like more money? Literally nobody. We all like more money, Bec. And now more than ever, we all need more money. So today, Bec, we're talking about getting yourself a pay rise. Yes. Money win. But also it's a little bit of a fickle conversation. According to the ABS, Bec, wages, they've been growing, but they haven't been keeping pace with the rate of inflation. Classic. It's so annoying. So that essentially means that as the costs of goods

and services increases, our wages aren't keeping up. And that is putting us in a little bit of a pickle because ultimately that means that this year, Bec, you're able to buy less with your salary than you were able to buy last year. That's not fair. I know. It's like a paid deduction. Exactly. But nobody's calling it that, are they? They're just going, oh, it's just the rising cost of living. Exactly. I'm so sick of hearing Cozzy lives. We now need to talk more about how to make more money. Yeah. Like we are hustlers and we deserve it. Right, Bec? I completely agree. Exactly. So research by the recruitment company Hayes, you've probably heard me talk about them a million times before. They found that 54% of Aussies believe that they're underpaid doing the

work that they do, but less than half of them feel comfortable asking for a pay rise. It is awkward. It's awkward, but we're going to make it better. We're going to make you feel so empowered to ask for a pay rise. I think it's wild. You're doing that work. You should be remunerated for it. Like you're not going to work for free, Bec. Exactly. You don't want to be there. I love my job. I am stupid enough that I would do my job for free. But that is a privilege. Yes. If you're going to work, you need to be remunerated for the time, the energy, the effort, the fact that, Bec, you would much prefer to be outside hanging out in the grass.

Yeah. But that don't make money, does it? Unfortunately. So for the time that we are making money, we've got to make it work hard. Yes. It's got to be worth it. So what do we have to do if we're not being paid what we are worth? We ask very kindly for a pay rise. That's true.

But we're going to get our ducks in a row, so it's basically impossible to say no. Cool. I love this for us, right? So, Bec, I want to know, you ever asked for a pay rise? I did once. It was a few years ago. How did it go? I think I was on 50K, and this same role was worth like upward of 70.

And I did ask kindly. It was with a boss who I really love, and she said, Bec, let's pretend we're at the pub. Let's just be candidly. Ask me what you want to ask me. and then I said, I need more money. Unfortunately, it was a big no and there was no two ways about it. I probably could have gone in with more information and more confidence and more everything. Why do you think it was a big no? Because that's a really big letdown, right? Like even though your boss is like, Bec, let's speak candidly, which makes you feel a bit at

ease. Yeah. She tricked me. Well, I don't know if she tricked you. Maybe she was trying as hard as possible. I would say that leans into my management style, right? Like I would love for you to feel super comfortable coming to me about anything like and if you were like oh I need more money I'd be like great let's have a chat about that yeah but that can be a way to kind of disarm you so that you're not as researched like yeah and even if your boss is super casual super chill and open for a conversation I think that we should still be going to those meetings fully prepared when you went to that meeting you said before you weren't super prepared like did you walk away going damn I could have held my own a bit more or like how'd you feel a little bit of both because

I know that there were several layers of management above my boss at the time so I feel like in her words she didn't have much wiggle room it wasn't really up to her but she could have I do think gone away and fought my battles for me but she as an individual didn't have that much room to so I think a part of me was like damn I should be more prepared the other part of me was like I don't know what she could have done you know yeah and I totally get that but if you went as prepared as possible she would have been able to take that information and share it up the ranks that's true and it doesn't necessarily mean that you would be in the better position but I think the big thing here for me is you did it was it scary oh yeah I was sick with nerves even though

I speak to this person all the time but it's really exhausting it's tiring it's so awkward Exactly. And I feel like for most people, there's this psychological barrier when it comes to asking for a pay rise. Like it feels uncomfortable. It feels awkward. And especially for millennial women, we just shy away from it so much. Like we have this deep seated fear of rejection. We have this idea in our head. We're going to go to our boss and our boss is going to go, oh, Bec, you think you're doing a good job? You think you're worth more money? Oh no. Like I don't want that conversation that makes me feel uncomfortable and I am the worst right like I extrapolate things out in my head I've said this to you before Beck what's the worst thing

that never happened like you yes make things up in your head and you're like oh well my boss would say this and then I get fired yeah like how good are we at making up these situations literally in our head which are a psychological barrier to you getting what you deserve like you deserve a pay rise, but we need to doddle our I's and cross all our T's to get there, to make sure that when we walk into that meeting, we go, hey boss, I know that you said be really candid, but I've just prepared a few things and I want to make sure that we are on exactly the same page. And I think that this happens because especially as women, we are so scared of feeling greedy or looking greedy or looking incompetent or looking like we're being demanding. I live on TikTok chronically

online Beck and there's just a lot of content at the moment about reframing childhood behavior like if your kid's bossy let's not call them bossy let's call it leadership like that was me like I had the nickname bossy boots when I was little but that doesn't mean I'm not scared to ask for what I'm worth yes and like that even filters into my everyday life like I know that I'm not in a position now where I have to go to a boss and ask for a pay rise but like I have to negotiate things all the time and I still feel sick about it like I still get uncomfortable like I do speaking events, like going to someone and being like, hey, so you've inquired about my speaking rates and I would love to speak at your event, but here's how much it costs. I feel so

uncomfortable, Bec. I hate that conversation. So this is maybe a little bit of a pep talk for me and you and our community so that we can get what we are worth because should we be paid what we deserve. Absolutely. Exactly. So for women, this situation is obviously very tricky and research shows that women are less likely, Bec, to negotiate their salary than men. That checks out. I hate that that's the statistic. In fact, according to a pay scale report, 60% of women said that they'd never negotiated their salary. What's the worst thing that could happen, Bec? Like you went into this literal situation what was the worst thing that could happen well probably nothing literally would happen you already go in there feeling like but like let's use your example like you went to

your boss you asked for a pay rise you had a great candid conversation she heard you yeah she said sorry beck don't have a lot of wiggle room i mean we can reflect on it and say there's things that we might change or do better next time that's okay but she said sorry beck i don't have any wiggle room it's a no you know what happened in that situation you walked away with a confidence to ask for what you were worth which is slay from my perspective cool thank you on the flip side your boss realized that you are the type of person who's going to ask for what you deserve yes and oopsie she's realizing that we're desperately underpaying her yeah she knows so it's planting a seed that you are probably going to come back at some point when you have some more research

because you've already said I'm underpaid. Yeah, that's so true. So even if they say no the first time, it might be genuinely because of the example that you had. They have to say no. They're like, I actually don't have any more budget. I would love to pay you more, Bec, but, like, I just don't have that ability. And you go, okay, no worries.

When's budget allocation season? Good one. Like when does that change? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there anything I can do to help you have that conversation with your manager? And if you realise that there's absolutely no chance of ever getting a pay rise, you start looking elsewhere. I just think that so many times we're so anxious to go into these situations

and negotiate for ourselves because we're so scared that the answer is going to be no, when in reality, even if the answer is no, we have learned something. We have learned something about backing ourselves. We are walking the walk that we always talk about. We are going in and saying we deserve better and this is how I would like to see it happen. And that's okay if it doesn't happen that way but you've learned you've given yourself a little bit of confidence the next time it comes do you ask him for a salary increase again beck much easier because you've done it before yeah like you've kind of been in the sea it's you've had a few of those things happen and i think a lot of this actually comes down to societal norms if you've not done it before

you don't feel comfy rocking the boat per se you're a little bit uncomfortable about that reality but like I don't want to be on smooth sailing waters when it comes to my pay I want to rock the boat and end up in a better position consistently and I think that there's this consistent idea Beck especially for women that you my friend need to be grateful for what you already have that's so true you should be grateful for what you already have Beck you have a good job yes it is weird because you go through the interviews and you're like begging for this job basically but in like the most professional way you should be grateful for what you already have do you know what that gets in the way of us advocating for what we deserve yeah that's so true

I am grateful for what I have I'm also grateful for the skills and the experience that I've learned in this job which have enabled me to be more efficient I also know how to do a better job but like you deserve more because you are more like when I got this job I was at a certain level and I was paid at that level but I deserve more now because I am more yeah make it make sense make it make sense it does make sense you know when it's like based on experience you'll be paid you know whatever 100 it's like okay but when you get more experience that pay rise doesn't just come exactly and I feel like that then plays into this narrative that you got told no and then if you were super motivated about money back you might have started looking for a new job

yes because you're like well I was on 50 grand that wasn't cutting the mustard I wanted to earn 60 so because I'm not getting it in the house that I'm currently in I'm gonna start looking elsewhere and then our generation of millennials we have been labeled as the job hopping generation I'm proud of us for that I'm proud of us because we're consistently jumping up and up and up and you consistently see that we are earning more because of that. But we often label this job hopping generation as though that's a bad thing when the reality is that many millennials that do stay in their role are underpaid. Yes. So you're crucifying us because, you know, we've got no commitment, but you guys aren't remunerating us for what we are worth. Exactly.

And I've always lived by, if you don't like it, leave. Yeah. Like in every situation, if I don't like it, I'm leaving. That's fine. Don't like the food at a restaurant? Bec, we're going to find a new restaurant. Absolutely. Are you going to keep eating the food that you don't like? Absolutely not. There was actually a LinkedIn survey that happened semi-recently that found that 38% of millennials, Bec, avoid asking for a raise because they feel like they haven't been in their job long enough. Yeah. Okay. Or they feel like they are being disloyal. Plus many of us who are entering the workforce during like economic downturn, we hear it, we say it's all over the news. There's this ingrained belief in us that we should just be

happy to have a job. Back to that, I guess, narrative of you should be grateful for what you already have, Bec. Why are you always asking for more? You're so entitled. All you do is ask for more. I know, especially if you kind of like your job and you're like, oh, thank you so much for giving me the opportunity. Thank you for giving me the chance. Unhinged. And I think that if you want to ask for a pay rise let's you know go through a list of should we be asking what does that look like I'm going to gather my research but because of all this societal pressure and this idea that we should be grateful for what we have at home the fear of judgment the self-doubt it actually puts us behind and women in particular and especially like a younger generation of women

are missing out on the money that they deserve. And that money could be creating wealth to put you and future you in the best possible position. Yeah. So what I'm gathering here from what we've spoken about is we probably need to do some work on ourselves before we actually get to asking for a pay rise. And honestly, I wish I knew a person who was good with both psychology and finance to help me out. Do you know where I'd find someone like that? No, I actually have no idea. I don't know. It's me. Hi, I'm the problem. Yes. It's me. I feel like I can help you here. I actually have a couple of degrees in psychology before I decided to dive into the world of finance. And I think my favorite thing about She's on the Money is how we marry psychology and money in a way that makes it

approachable and personal, but also powerful. It's like my favorite thing ever. Like my job is to educate you to empower yourself. And God, she's good at it. I try. That's very complimentary. But when I started the She's On The Money community, my favorite thing about this community is how open people actually are to talking about money and their money stories and putting themselves in the best possible position.

And what we've been doing is working to break down this taboo that talking about money and talking about finance is not okay. and I think that by doing that you're giving people permission not only to like ask for more money but to be okay with where they're at and go oh actually this makes a lot of sense it gives you the permission to put some blinkers on and not compare yourself to others and I think one of my biggest goals when I started she's on the money was to make conversations about money normal to put you in a position where you feel powerful like you and I Beck we have conversations every single week about money without it being personal nobody on this show knows how much money Beck earns but

we know your money values we know parts of your money story we know your thoughts and feelings and like we know what you do if you came into 10 grand like I think that's really cool so money can be as personal as you want it to be but it can also be like a little bit private like you don't have to tell me how much you earn to have a positive powerful conversation about money and they think that that's the coolest thing about our community, but starting is so intimidating. So to begin conversations about money, to get to a point where you are genuinely empowered to walk into your boss's office and be like, hey, just so you know, I'm actually worth a little bit more. You're probably not going to say it in the same tone of voice. You're probably going to be

a little bit more professional than me. We want to start small. We want to chat with our friends. We want to talk to our family, literally whoever. If you've got nobody in your inner circle, we're here we have an entire facebook group we have chats all the time people break off they go out for coffee with each other it's the most wholesome thing in the entire world beck the more you talk about money the more comfortable you are going to become when it comes to advocating for yourself around cash so next thing i want to talk about is instead of framing it as i am asking for more money which I don't think it is but some people can feel this a little bit crass we're going to use some of my psychology degree and we're going to shift our mindset

I'm negotiating my value yeah I am worth more Bec it's a really good way to put it we're going to negotiate our value so salaries they're not actually an expense to the employer they're an investment they're an investment into their business they are an investment into the value that you as an individual bring to that business to help that business make more money and I don't want to hear it when people say oh but I'm like not a sales role I was having this conversation with literally one of my admin on my team and I wanted them to ask me for a pay rise because they deserved it but I wanted them to bring it up because if anything I want to walk the walk in my team and I was like so talk to me about pay like how do you feel about it like they've been

with me for just on a year so it was like pay rise time in my head yeah but I was like surely they want more and I kind of wanted to push her down the garden path to asking me because even though I think that our team would be pretty comfortable asking like I want to empower them with the knowledge and the tools so that if one day they don't work for me they can advocate for themselves not just me going yep cool like I am a money person and this is what we're doing like I want them to be like oh I'm powerful I want you to be so good at it that like if someone sees she's on the money on your resume they're like this one's going to be good yeah like that's what I want right so instead of framing it as like I'm going to ask for more money I'm going to know

my value I'm going to negotiate my worth that is what we're bringing to the table today because a salary is not an expense it's literally an investment and it's a subtle but very powerful psychological change that you can make into even valuing yourself more, which is very important. And research into behavioral economics actually tells us that when we shift our mindset and we shift the way that we view things, it impacts our confidence and it impacts our ability to make a good decision. So changing your mindset isn't just some fluffy thing that you do. It's actually something that can change your life, change your financial situation. It is so cool from my perspective. Exactly. It is life-changing. We want to shift our mindsets. And when you think of it

as advocating for the value that you bring to the situation, as opposed to like, oh, it's a cost to the business, it's going to make you feel more empowered. It's going to put you in a better situation. And it's not about begging for some extra cash because like, oh, the bills, they're adding up. Like I don't recommend anyone goes into a situation and says, hey, I'd like to talk to you about getting a salary increase because like groceries are so expensive yeah we are advocating for ourselves not for the bills that we have to pay so for me it's making sure that your compensation aligns with the contribution and the impact that you have on that business it's a mouthful it was a bit of a mouthful what about though like when imposter syndrome kicks in because it will so one

of beck i find the most effective strategies is to remind yourself of like your past wins so if i was talking to you, I'd be like, remember that time that you went and negotiated with your boss? Like you won. I know you didn't get the cash that you wanted, but positive conversation, good outcome. You are more confident because of it. We always remember our mistakes, Bec. But we are often so quick to forget our achievements or even frame them properly. And those moments are proof of your value. So start keeping like a little wind journal. I have it in my notes section on my phone where you can just track everything that you've accomplished, whether it's big or small like recently I wrote down a goal I have reset my wake-up time in the

morning I get up at six which is amazing but historically I didn't do that but that's a win yeah like I shifted that and that was really hard for me and whether it's you nailing a project or some positive feedback or a goal that you've smashed write it down because we don't actually celebrate ourselves enough that habit is actually going to give you tangible evidence of your capabilities. And when that self-doubt starts to creep in, you've actually got a reminder that you've already proven yourself. Plus this intel is going to be invaluable when you're going to ask for a raise. So I've got my list on my phone, but I also have a positive feedback folder in my emails. And anytime someone sends me some positive feedback or like a really nice review,

I file it away for later. It's cute, but it's not just cute. It's powerful. It's putting us in a position where you want to sit down with me, boss. Here's a suite of people saying that I am I'm the greatest ever at my job. She's got receipts. Exactly. I want you to do something else. I want you to start thinking like a man for a second. Let's seriously ask yourself, what would Jason do?

What would Jason do? What would Jason do? Do you think Jason's sweating it because he's only hit 80% of his KPIs this year, Bec? Nah. Nah. He doesn't care. He's Jason. He probably already is in his boss's office confidently talking about his massive impact.

Oh, the economic situation, Bec, is just down. That's why. Yeah, that's it. They blame everything except themselves. Absolutely. He's going to be in the hallway doing a fake air golf swing. Yeah. And making big bucks.

Oh, my gosh, the fake air golf swing while they're on the phone or something. They've got, like, their phone on loudspeaker. Yeah. And they're doing fake golf swings, brokering a deal. That's the energy we're bringing to this. That's financial advice. I'm going to do that. That's huge.

and studies actually show that men are far more likely to negotiate their salary without hesitation just because they go, I deserve it. Meanwhile, we're here sitting back being like, oh, have I done a good job? I don't know. I'm going to tick every box. I'm just going to think about this for a little while. My boss might be in a bad mood. I probably shouldn't talk to her today about that. But the reality is you do not need to be perfect to be asking for more. So we're going to channel Jason energy. We're going to be bold. We're going to be confident. We are going to stop waiting for permission. It's not about being pushy. We don't want to be pushy, but it's all about knowing your worth and then just going for it.

Jason knows he's had a positive contribution. Yeah, absolutely. He probably has. 80% of KPIs, he's still going to have a good convo with his boss. It's worth the crack. I honestly just started channeling Jason one nanosecond ago. I'm already feeling really confident. You're already feeling really confident. Do I look it? Do I look better? You look so much like Jason right now.

Thank you. Slay, let's go to a really quick break. On the flip side, I'm going to actually give you some tips and tricks on maybe not how to become Jason but how to ask for a raise. Yes, love that. Not just empowering you to feel good about it but, like, this is what you are going to do. We're going to give you the blueprint.

Don't go anywhere. Okay, we are back, everyone, and I have my pen and paper ready because I'm going to get myself that raise. Victoria? Good job, Jason. Thank you so much. Good job. Thanks, V.

No worries. Where should we start? All right, so here's the plan. All right. Obviously, walking into your boss's office and talking about the cost of living crisis, you're going to talk about inflation or how you need some more money to buy a house. It's actually not the strategy. Your personal situation, not their business. You're just going to wipe that off completely. Those reasons, I get it. They are valid. We're not trying to invalidate you in any way, shape or form, but they're personal. And unfortunately,

your boss is going to be focused on the business. They don't care about your need to purchase a house? Good idea, but they don't care. So what you need to approach is the conversation with a very professional angle, Bec. Okay, good point. Also, it should be illegal to walk into a salary negotiation empty-handed. You shouldn't just walk in going, I'll have a good chat. Not enough. You need to do your homework. Start by researching the market rate for your role. Resources like PayScale and Glassdoor are really good for benchmarking. My favorite platform though is the Hayes Salary Guide that comes out every single year. You can download it from their website. I have been a big advocate of that tool for a number of years now because it just gives you

such insightful data. So like, Bec, you could look up video producer, but then it will show you what on average a video producer in each state and territory earns, what it means to like scale up, like if they've got two years experience, four, six, it's actually so helpful for benchmarking for you but also to take to your employer because it's a legitimate piece of research it's not like i saw online that you know glassdoor said xyz because often glassdoor whilst fantastic it doesn't give you that deep insightful data that has been like pulled together for you and that way you know you're not just throwing out a random number like oh yeah so 70 000 that feels good yeah I feel like, no, no, I feel like you are backing your question with some solid data.

And I mean, I do like the idea that if I walked in, I'd be like, so I'm being paid 60 grand and actually the average in this area for my role is 70 grand. So I was thinking we could step it up. I'd like 65. They're going to feel real bad saying no, because like you've just pointed out that you're being underpaid. Oh, we love that. And you're literally saying I'm willing to be underpaid still, but a little bit less.

And like knowing what is fair is actually going to give you the confidence to make a request that's much harder to ignore. We're not asking you to go in and be super aggressive. But I think when I start to empower you with the tools and resources, you feel so well supported. So instead of me going, go into your boss and say, can I have a raise? You're going into your boss and being like, hey, cool. So I've done some research and I'd just love to chat that through.

Like you're going to be empowered because you've got substance to talk about. And we love that. Absolutely. they're going to be like, I don't like the optics of this. You are paying me 10K less than what you should be paying me. Disgusting. Okay. So this is making sense. So after you've got those market figures, what else should I bring with me to really back it up? How do I make my boss say yes? We're going to bring the receipts. If anybody is making content online and they're accusing someone of something, I'm going to need receipts. So you're going to do

the same thing. We are going to bring those receipts. Remember that wind journal that I told you to keep? Yeah. That email folder where you're putting all your positive commentary? those wins, we are visiting that folder. It's time to crack it open. It is time to gather all of that value that you have been bringing to the table, whether it's hitting your targets or maybe it's leading a project or maybe you've smashed your KPIs. You need to be walking into that conversation with proof of your contributions, Bec. And we're going to bring numbers. We're going to bring achievements. We're going to bring specific examples that make your case undeniable. okay and beck bonus tip here while i think about it don't wait for review time to showcase your

wins send a like little quick brag email to your boss whenever you hit a milestone or achieve something significant that week it's all about keeping your value front and center throughout the whole year so that when it's time to talk raises they kind of already know what you're bringing to the table i'm not saying that your boss doesn't know they might know but just like celebrate your wins along the way like you don't have to be like by the way i want this on file but like oh my gosh how cool i have smashed my budget thank you boss for all your support this week they can't possibly i've absolutely smashed it out of the water i'm so proud of myself and just thought i should share your bread crummy yeah like we love a bread crumb in this scenario

we love a bread crumb exactly i can't possibly say no after that exactly now that i've got all my data sorted i'm ready to go right you're ready to go smash straight through their door but not quite. It's not actually about what you've done in the past. It's about what you can bring to the table in the future. Because like, this is going to sound really harsh, but if you bring me your job description and say, well, I tick all of the boxes of what I am doing, I'm very likely to turn around and say, well, Bec, that's true. And I'm really grateful for that. But I've actually valued the role at $70,000 or whatever it is. And to earn that $70,000, you actually need to be doing all of those tasks as a bare minimum like I'm not saying you have to go above and beyond

but I need to be able to see the potential and what you're going to bring as to why I would pay you more for a role that in your job description might be exactly what it is does that make sense so like if you're saying well actually and using you as an example video production and editing or whatever it is you might go but I'm doing that so I should get a raise I'm gonna go yeah you're doing that because I'm paying you that seventy thousand dollars to begin with to do that that's what the job is worth, Bec. I actually need to know about what you can bring in the future. So when you're negotiating a raise, I don't want you to talk about how good you are. I do. We're going to bring those past achievements, but it's not just about talking about what you've done, but

also where you're headed in the future. I want you to highlight some goals or if you have been going above and beyond your job description in your role, you're going to bring that information to the table and be like, actually, I've been doing a lot more outside of the scope of my current role. Employers want to know that investing in you right now is going to mean greater returns for the company later down the track. Show them that giving you a raise isn't just about rewarding the good work that you've done historically, but it's kind of about the future potential and what you're bringing to the team. Yeah. Okay. So it's like you're showing them that you're an investment for the future. Yeah. Like you want your boss to want to keep you above and beyond anybody else,

Because let's hypothetically say I want a raise and I say, nope, the role's only worth, you know, that $70,000. So, sorry, there. Can you go off and get a new job? Maybe as a manager in my head, I'm like, well, actually, that's probably a good thing because I couldn't have given her more money and I'm just going to hire someone else to fulfill that for the same amount of money. I don't want to invest more. You've got to give them a good reason to do so. So, this is the thing that's a little bit harder to do and something I always have a problem with. Yeah.

I always tell myself I'm going to go in there. I'm going to use minimal words like sorry and words like, you know, maybe, um, I feel like, you know, things like that. So how do we actually like go in there? We're trying to not be like social priors. Yeah. You are the worst at that. I was like, why are you apologizing? I know. I don't know. What did you do? Like, why are you saying sorry to me? And I feel like we often feel the need to apologize. And if you're in that situation, think of Jason. Would Jason apologize for being a burden? Probably not. Jason's never apologized for being a burden. In fact, he's never even crossed his mind that he might be a burden on somebody else absolutely not like jason he goes

home and he tells his girlfriend stop telling me what to do you're not my mom you're such a nagger oh you nag me all the time you're not my mom and then you know what he does he goes babe where are my socks yeah babe what's for dinner be jason only at work please if possible babe have you seen my shirts have you ironed them yet sorry i thought i wasn't your mother i'm your mother one second i'm Not you either, the other second. Oh, what do you want, Jason? Anyway, Jason doesn't know he's a burden and neither do you. Let's just be a little bit naive.

Apologies actually make it seem like you're doing something wrong. So when you're apologizing, I obviously love calling stuff like that out because I'm like, Bec, stop apologizing. You owe nobody an apology. But stop doing it because it actually makes people think that you're in the wrong when really you're just advocating for yourself. Like we need to shift apologies to thank yous And it's kind of like this mindset shift, again, another psychological thing going from

saying, I'm so sorry I'm late. Thank you so much for waiting for me. Really small shift in language, really powerful outcome. That person, instead of me saying, so sorry, Beck, when you go, oh, no, don't be sorry. Thank you so much. I go, oh, no worries. Yeah. It's like the outcome that I'm trying to drive.

Thank you so much for taking the time to meet with me. Not, oh, I'm sorry I'm wasting your time here. No, no, no, no. Thank you. You want to get them in an agreeable mood anyway. And the best way to do that, this is from a psychological perspective, having them think that they've already done you a favor. Yeah. You've done me a favor. That's so nice. Asking for a raise is not just about your career growth. And it's not something that I'm sorry about. I want you to hold your head high. I want you to state your case and like, let's just not apologize and let's practice it throughout the week. We're not just practicing it while we are asking for a pay rise. We're

thinking about it we're at the coffee shop you run into somebody or you do something and you're like sorry I haven't called oh thanks for being patient I've been so busy it feels kinder to yourself it feels kind to the other person like I'll apologize if I've done something wrong but like me having a busy life is not something that I'm apologetic for yeah if I haven't called you because you know we might sorry Becca I haven't called you oh you're like oh no worries like that's okay. But if we reframe it, I go, thanks for being so patient. I've been so busy at work. Wow. I really am a patient person. I am a really nice person. And also there's this theory and we won't get too much into it now, but there's this theory that if you can get someone to give you

two yeses, it's very likely that the third answer will be a yes. So if you can get them in an agreeable mood, it's psychologically proven that they are more likely to be saying, yeah, okay. Like, why would I stop agreeing with Beck now? I've been agreeing with her this whole time. Sorry to be a realist, but, oh my God, I just said, sorry, and I shouldn't have, but. Exactly. Thanks, but I'm a realist, V. Thanks, but I'm a realist, V, and what if they say no?

Exactly. And I mean, that can still happen, and it's happened to you before. It has. And maybe there is no wiggle room in that budget, as your boss said to you one time, and that's actually okay. It doesn't mean that the door is closed forever. And this is where you go, oh, I like to call it like a lifestyle raise. If a bump isn't possible, maybe, Bec, you could ask for like other perks in your day-to-day life.

Flexible working hours, maybe a little bit of annual leave. Professional development opportunities or even like a work from home time allowance, like if you're not able to do that at the moment. Yeah, that's a good call. You have just agreed that I am a fantastic employee and you have told me that you don't have any wiggle room for salary. Oh, that's okay. I've been thinking, given you just agreed that I'm so good at my job,

could I work from home on Fridays? And that actually would, in a roundabout way, save you some money because you're not paying for petrol or Mikey or whatever. It would be so nice. Maybe you could say, can I leave early on a Friday? Yeah. Like there are so many things that you could negotiate here and these things can add major value to your lifestyle,

giving you a heap more freedom and some balance and even if it's not straight cashback. And I wouldn't be afraid to negotiate for better work-life balance when salary isn't an option. Yeah, that's a really, really good point. Yeah, and I think that we're leaving the door open. No worries, we'll revisit this conversation at some point. And we're not saying, no, sorry, like, oh, I won't ask you again.

Thanks so much for your time. Maybe we can pick this conversation up another time when budgets get settled again. That's so cool. Yeah. Okay, so these are the notes I've taken so far and the summary of our action plan. Oh, you've made an action plan.

I love this. So what is first? Do your research. Yep. Then gather your receipts. Yeah, we're going to get receipts. Plan your future pitch. Yes. And be ready with lifestyle raise alternatives. Yeah. And imagine if you had

this information when you negotiated that salary. I know. Who said she had no wiggle room. Yeah. Like you in that moment, like let's reflect back. She was pretty agreeable, wasn't she? She was. She was like, yeah, sorry, Becca, I have no wiggle room. If you'd said, all right, well, let's talk about work from home options. Let's wiggle in other areas. Let's wiggle in another room. Yep. And she'll go, okay, all right, Becca, I like where this is going. And I think that that's what we want to feel powerful about. And I don't want you to wait. Like the end of the year is approaching and now is the time to have these conversations. It doesn't mean they need to give you a raise immediately, but you could plant the seed and be like, hey, cool. I was hoping January

2025, I'd be in for a raise. Like you have worked hard all year and now is the time to make sure that you are compensated fairly, whether it's like a raise in cash, which we love, or it's a boost in your lifestyle balance, my friend, you deserve it. And there are lots of people in this situation where they might be at the top of their band for their job and they're like, well, I maybe work in government and I can't earn more. You can negotiate flexibility. Everything is up for negotiation, Bec. Everything. I think it's a really solid place to leave it. Also, just remember, go forth, be Jason, be confident. What would Jason do? What would Jason do? What would Jason do? And we obviously want to hear your success stories. So let us know how it goes. You have absolutely

got this. If you need a little bit more validation, jump on over to our Facebook group because I am in there every single day checking up on you guys, making sure that you've got the right answers, making sure that you're not saying sorry, making sure that you're saying thank you so much for being patient instead of, oh, sorry, I was late. Absolutely not. Gosh, she's good. We all deserve to get paid what we are worth. And that's why you're in this community, isn't it? Absolutely. I'm going to go book my meeting right now with my boss. All right. Is that me?

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