Sh**ged Married Annoyed - April Fool's, School Trauma and Chris's Unfortunate Lookalike

Episode Date: April 3, 2026

On this week's Shagged Married Annoyed, Chris and Rosie Ramsey deal with April Fool's Day, they discuss a recent trip to London, smelly cabs and of course there is a Carl update! Plus there is some issues with Chris's cap...and hair. They also talk about school streaming tactics, Rosie's GCSE's and they call Kev to get his thoughts on the Uppers & Lowers. There's beefs, voice notes, and some lovely questions from the public! AND... The Ramsey's get honest about hand jobs... If you want to get involved and have your stories and voice notes included on the podcast then get in touch! 📧: [e-mail] 📱: 07874 406650 You can watch the podcast on the Shagged Married Annoyed YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@shagged.married.annoyed Today, get Huel’s full Lite & Lean Starter Kit online with our code SMA30 for 30% off at https://huel.com/SMA30. New Customers Only. Thank you to Huel for partnering and supporting our show! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Coming up on this week's episode of Shagmurdenoid. We talk April Fool's Day. Blah hate it. Rosie's school and college failings, which there are many of. We ring our kev. We do ring our kev. Always a laugh. I've got a call update, obviously, because I'm on tour.

I'm wearing a cap this episode, and when I take it off, Rosie gives me literally the worst insult I've ever received in my life, bar none. In fact, it's bad, and then the second time you say it, it somehow gets worse. I'm still reeling from it. We've got beefs, voice notes and emails. Enjoy. Hello, you are listening and watching

Shag Madenoid with me, Rosie, and my husband, Christopher, and we are collectively, who are we? The Ramses! We're the Ramses. We're the Ramses. We are. We are the Ramses.

We are the Ramses. Got two kids as well, but they're not here. Listen, guys, thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much to listening on this good Friday. But do you know what we're going to do? We're going to make it a great Friday. Oh, horrible. That is disgusting.

I'm going to say that so many times today. It's going to be. Let's have a great Friday. Let's have a great Friday, everyone. Or whatever day you happen to be listening to this on. But yeah, thank you. How are you? I'm all right, you know.

Good. I'm okay. If you are watching the podcast, Chris has got a cap on. I've got a cap on. So his face is half in shadow. Half in shadow. And he said before we start recording, he was like, I'm just going to sit like this with his head up.

So. Sitting my head like that, like a little sort of, I don't know. I don't know. I feel like we've given up. Yeah. No, I've had a really, really busy morning. I've been on to us since last Wednesday. it's now Wednesday I've been away for so many days like like just ridiculous just so many things

like I'm very lucky I get the you know stay in nice hotels and took me golf clubs played golf I had to get me golf clubs curry I'd back up because I couldn't thing in them around London but please keep me anonymous in London two days ago oh it's just been it's just it's been a lot and and this morning I had to go out I had to go to the bank I had to take raf out with us to do shop and I thought you know what I just if I take if I don't have my cap on when I'm out in public everything takes a lot longer because lovely people are lush but everyone wants to stop and chat. I've got a great one in the supermarket

a day actually. In fact, I'll tell you it now. Come on, then. So, you know, I've had a little, you know, someone thought they knew you from Coral. Oh, yeah. So some, uh, I walked past a lady, a man and a woman in the supermarket yesterday. Second time round walking past them. She turned and she went and saw her look already. She turned and she went, hey, I really know your face.

I went, okay, do it. I never like, give them, you know, just because, because again, when you tell them, it's tell you, they go, no, it's not. And you wouldn't, it is. So I said, oh, do you? Okay. And she went, yeah, and she looked at the husband. She nudged him like that.

And then she pointed out. She went, you're a taxi driver. Oh, Jesus. And I just started laughing. I went, no, I went, that's a really good. And I went, I've never had that one before. You're a taxi driver. She looked mortified for some reason.

Did she? Was you joking? No, no. She was a tax driver. Yeah, she was a tax driver. Yeah. So I'm assuming she must go out, get, have a few. Yeah.

And then get a taxi home and just think, oh, I must have had, you must have had, you must have been me driver a couple of times when I was drunk. So I'm thinking, all right, cool. I've got a little window into my life there. But I don't know, no, I'm a comedian. She went, oh, yeah, that's it, isn't it? Yeah.

And then just stayed out of it. And then I was like, I've got to go. Rhea had his little trolley, has his little baby trollies. I'm still very often just your wife. And never forget it. Well, obviously. Know your role. But I just think, you know, when you're like,

I don't know what else I've got to do. What else do I need to do? Get divorced? No. Just didn't like telling you that. I just feel like I must. need to do more because I'm still just your wife but then I'm like

worse things to be yeah I know true yeah it's fine I'm never like upset by it's just always a bit random I don't what you mean I mean no one yeah I suppose but if it was the other way around if you done stuff first and then I started doing stuff it would be oh you're your you're her husband

oh yeah no I don't think that would happen anyway doesn't know it wasn't which which Hensworth brother used to go out with someone famous and they always and he says he hates me and called that person's ex is it Liam Hemsworth was going out with someone. Miley Cyrus. Yeah, and people sometimes call him

Miley Cyrus as ex and he doesn't like her. Oh. Well, because he's an actor in his own right as well. Yes, but she's the more famous one. So whatever you are, it's always that. Happens all the time. Yeah, it is. Can he believes there's three of them, brothers? All actors.

All fucking lush as well. What the hell happened there? Oh my God. Good grief. I might Google their parents in the break. Honestly. I bet they're just fucking. Honestly. I bet you they're not. I bet you one's a fucking celestial being

and one's a fucking, I don't know, beautiful, tall. Do you think? Well, do your stupid sponsor and then we'll come back and I'll let you know whether they're lush or not. That's the spirit. Okay, great.

I tell you what, you do your sponsor, I'll actually look while you're doing it. Not even going to listen. Not even going to fucking listen. No, you should listen. Guys, thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for listening and watching. If you're watching on YouTube,

please consider subscribing. That would be really nice. And if you're not subscribed on podcast shops, subscribe on your podcast shops as well. That would be lovely. And without further ado, it's time for this week's lucrative, lucre sponsor.

Now, yes, it is good Friday. Great Friday. as you're listening to this and as this comes out. But as we're recording this, it's actually April 1st. Can I interject? The lush. I thought there'd be lush. Oh, God, they're lush.

Oh, the gorgeous. Lush. Lush. I don't want to move it too much. Oh, heaven's a boat. Look. Look at that. She's lush.

He's lush. Lush. It all makes sense. This just not fair, is it? Look at that. All makes sense. You were obviously, it was obviously going to be a slam dunk. Craig and Leonie Hemsworth.

Fucking beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Great. So yes, this week's sponsor is... Oh, great. April Fool's Day. Oh, nice.

So shit, they chopped it in half themselves. Worst fucking day ever to be on Instagram. I hate it. Oh, God, it's vile, in it? Every other post. Oh, my God.

And the problem is as well this year, this is the first year that AI has been readily available. Yeah. So every stupid bullshit fucking post it's like everyone's a graphic designer I can't believe people still I can't believe it still

get off get off the Instagram everyone's just oh I'm announcing this I've done this oh I've been keeping this quiet for a while but I'm announcing it a day I'm actually a dog

I've not looked at the comments or people enjoying it still or laughing and I think it's dead me I think it's dead died of death April so shit it's so shit the chocolate in half themselves

it got chocket Like literally, it's that fucking tedious. You only do it till mid-day. The caveat is, oh, just do it at lunchtime. Yeah. This is fucking, dog shit. Did Robin, did Robin say it was an American? What did he say about it today?

Oh, Robin, Robin, our son, the kid who ran upstairs and put chocolate syrup in my shampoo. Oh, yeah, that was great. I enjoyed that. Yeah, I'll wash me here twice. That was fun. I don't have got a fucking cap on. It was really shit, on it? Really shit.

It's not even in April Fool's. It's just a prank. Yeah. That's not an April Fool. Like, April Fool, you meant to fool somebody. like that's not he's totally got I'm gonna have to have word with him you completely got it wrong

but I think it should be for kids I think it's cute for kids but you know nah God I hate it again just like you imagine if you like if we ever got split up right just sometimes think if I was in another relationship

if he did an April fools I'd dump I would go no this is it no is that your level is that the level I think that's it's I'm sorry for it my main problem with it is it's a day when I'm

As a comedian, everyone else tries to be a comedian and I don't like it. It's just shit. It's just shit, honestly. Just honestly trying for engagement and it's just wild. Yeah, the Instagram stuff's annoying. Stop. So there we go. That's that dealt with.

We had a fight about the jingle. We couldn't settle on a jingle. Jingle do. So this is the Jinggo, Jingle. We hope you like the Jingto. Jinggo. back. Jingle!

Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of Shag Marginoid. We're back from London. I went to see my lad's show. That's me? That my show? Yeah, it's very good. Well done. Should have a little clap?

That's very nice. I need to clap myself this. Thank you, darling. No, it was really good. Genuinely, I think it is the best one that you've ever done. Wow. I really do. And I've seen most of them, haven't I?

I think only missed two. Yeah, you've seen, yeah, apart from the first two, you've seen them all, yeah. No, it was the best one. Oh, thank you, sweet talk. Really enjoyed it. Well done. Congratulations. You look like having a little bit too much fun, but that's fine.

Whatever. It's very graphic, very true. All of it is true. The best review I've ever had is after the gig, Rosie came and running a redressing room and went, other comedians lie? Why are you just telling the truth on stage about all of our life? It is fully, fully 100% true.

It's like the DVD extras of the podcast. Yeah. But there's a large, there's like an artistic license you can take with stand-up where you can sort of, like, you know, stuff we're saying on here can be like fucking clipped up and putting the papers and stuff, whereas in stand-up, they don't really do that as much. Yeah, it's a safe space. So, yeah. But thank you to everyone who came to all the gigs this week and the Hammersmith Apollo was sold-out Hammersmith Apollo.

It's the dream as a stand-up to sell out of Hammersmith-Apollos. So it's just amazing. And yeah, anyone in London who missed it, the Waltham Store shows where I'm actually filming it. They are on in April. The tickets are available by now. So thank you so much. Nice. Thank you for being so kind and coming and enjoying it.

Are you welcome? Just like a free night out. You do, didn't you? Yeah. Thank you publicly to air how I may a call who bought us a bottle of wine. He did, Carl Hutchinson. Very lovely of your call for backstage.

But it was a Sauvignon Blanc, I don't like Southeny Omblo. Smells like sweat. Just. Sovignon Blanc smells like Beyo. I'm just saying that now. I'm just putting that out there. Yeah. But I love Pinot Grosio, right?

Which is the basic, apparently. So Reese went and got your two bottles of Pinotrejo. Yeah. So just for coming for one night, not even your gig, you had three bottles of wine. No, because they're just my guys. They're my guys and I love them. And it's over. And it's very good.

Yes. Good. Well, good. Good. And thank you very much. Actually, do you want to call update? Yeah, go on then. I mean, I did see him the other day, but I'll have a call update. Call update for everyone. So we stayed in the same hotel for three nights the other night. We stayed on the Wednesday, the Thursday and the Friday. Carl blocked his toilet in his hotel room on the Thursday and was going to the hotel gym for his shits because he couldn't be bothered to tell anyone. We were getting text off him on the group, right?

So you just left it blocked? Just left it blocked, yeah, yeah. He was pissing in it. I think he was pissing in the bath. I think he was lying. He said he was pissing it. So it was not only blocked, but like a couple of days worth of stagnant piss in there as well.

And I said to him, I went, this is psychotic, right? Does he mind you saying this? No, he's fine, he loves it. So I said to him, right? I said, oh. Does Sophie mind you saying this? Sophie listens as well. Sorry, Sophie, look.

Sophie. Do you know what the best thing is, like, I wish, I wish, So, well, no, I don't. So Carr was such a nightmare when I lived with him. Whenever he tells me, because Sophie doesn't give him an inch, and quite rightly, because I never gave him an inch when I lived with him. Because you've got it, he's like a dog. You've got to keep him on a short lead, or he will just piss all over the floor.

It's crazy, man, right? I love, I love hearing how much of a hard time you get at home, because I'm like, this is your payback for living with me. This is, she's absolutely got him trained and it's perfect. But anyway, yeah, so yeah. So you block the toilet. Block the toilet. Did you have a metal court hanger or a court hanger in general?

He normally uses a bag for life, puts his hand in, puts his hand down, and does it. We didn't have a bag for life. So he just left it. So Thursday afternoon, Friday morning, Saturday, he was just going to the hotel gym for his poos. Oh, Jesus.

Yeah. And then I said, just tell them on the way out. I said, we're going to the gig. Tell them on the way out. Just say, look, I'm really sorry. Someone going in maintenance and go and sort it. And he said, he went, I won't do that. And this is why.

And tell us if you think I'm psychotic. And I do think he's psychotic. But I do think he has got a bit of a point. He said, in his mind he's going to get a hotel maintenance guy in there who's just pissed off

and really angry that he's got to unblock this toilet which you would be and he said he'll get me toothbrush and he'll rub me toothbrush all around the rim of the toilet and then he'll put it back

quite right quite right it's possible in it yeah it is possible yeah but I mean no I mean was it always treat everyone

always treat everyone with respect who's got access to your toothbrush I think is the free Yeah. Yeah. Second call update. He told me about a story

that he hadn't told that I had not known about so we always talk about getting in taxis that stink. Mm-hmm. So he said he got in a taxi. I am. I'm sick of it.

I'm sick of getting into these men's beds. I swear to God. Clip that up. Take that out of context from the taxi bit, please. We'll just clip that up. Not in a sexual, it's disgusting.

Yeah, yeah. I'm sick. It smells like their beds. I'm like. Yeah. Yeah. I would you fucking live in here? Like, I hate it.

I just, do they not wash? I don't, I think, I don't know. I think, they probably think, well, I'm just sitting down so I don't, I don't need to have a shower, I don't need to wash it. Oh, God, it's so upsetting. Because, like, if you've been in your car for half an hour, you come pick me up, it doesn't smell like that.

No, no. And I do farting and all kinds of my car. It's so upsetting. As soon as you get in, I go, great. Well, this, you'll enjoy this. So he gets in the car, you get in a car, he gets in a car, from, in Gosfath, where he lives. Yeah.

He gets in a car to Gosfath to go to the, to go to Newcastle train station and apparently he says to the guy can I open the window and the guy's like yeah and Carl opens the window and he's got his head out of the window

like a dog and then the guy's talking and then apparently something happens like someone cuts the guy up or something the driver so he's waving his arm around angry and his BOs like wafting out

from under his t-shirt and Carl goes sorry mate come we'll just can he just drop us off at the metro station instead instead of going to Newcastle and the guy went what and he went

can you just drop us to the metro station I don't want to go all the way in Newcastle in a morning get the amount of stress and he went why and call went he was like the call went you stink mate and he went and so this is how it went right it went

stop and he actually he brought the fourth wall so Carl sometimes sometimes I live my life vicariously through Carl because I think I would I would say oh my mate just text as he's actually meeting at the train station I'm really sorry come go to the train station but Carl just goes foot so I sometimes fantasize about being like Carl and just having no

no fucking consequences so this is how it happened right so he went make and you just drop us at the metro station instead why I'll do the voices why you stink mate what you stink what it smells the car smells it stinks

silence until the matter of station I've gone all itchy you said three three what you stink what you stink what it stinks mate it smells silence yeah do you know what though right okay that's two what sorry do you know if you're on public

transport whatever everyone's paying for it it's kind of of that thing, you just want it, if you want to move or whatever. Yeah. You're paying for that service. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To sit there. Like, there's, the should only, we've talked about this so many times, but I just feel like there needs to be certain rules.

Well, I don't alienate listeners and I don't want to alienate members of the general public who don't get taxis all the time. But for jobs and stuff, we've got to get taxis. Yeah, we're always in the taxi. I don't think they should just have their radio blaring on whatever they want. I think they should go, look, do you want this on or do you want this off? I don't think a full-on fucking chat should be complete, I don't want to sound like a prickier.

I don't think a massive chat should be acceptable. Yeah. Like, I've said there should be a, sometimes I'm in a chatty mood. We'll put the light, there should be light. Can't Uber, I'm sure Uber can do it. Okay. It should be a little thing that you can flick either way.

Do you want to chat? Yes. Do you want, no, you don't want to chat? I don't want to chat. Yeah. The driver should be the same. Some driver sit in silence and I fucking love it. Yeah, it's amazing.

I know. And I said this before, in general public, in general life, all in, I think you should be, get out of a situation and tell someone that the smell and I think it should be fine. But it's the one job. It's the one job really where that car should not smell. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep your car clean and yourself clean. That's you want. Surely drive well and keep your car clean. That's it. I've told you about the taxi I got in in London

once when I was doing a full DAPR. This wasn't the halitosis guy. This was another one. I was doing a full DAPR and I had this taxi with this for the full day and I got in there just smelled like a steel night out and I was hanging. Oh, if the vomit on the seat. No, no. I put the armrest down and I Or in the middle of the around. Chips and garlic sauce. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadu, babadu, bah. Where are my gloves? Come on, heat.

Any day now? Winter is hard, but your groceries don't have to be. This winter, stay warm. Tap the banner to order your groceries online at voila.ca. Enjoy in-store prices without leaving your home. You'll find the same regular prices online as in-store. Many promotions are available both in store and online, though some may vary. Babadoo, babadoo, babadu, babadu, bah.

So one of the reasons I've got the cap on today is just because I've been all over the place doing so much ad. So I was on tour for the full week. You hear doing your hair. I do. But I was on tour for the full week. I love it. I just live in a cap. I do live in it.

Since we've filmed it, this is the first time I've done with a cap. Again, apologies if you're watching. Well, I know, a bit of an arsehole. Apology if you're watching you think I look like an asshole. There's nothing to do about it now. We've started. I'm not treated off because my hair's a big flat pancake underneath No, take it off, let them have a look

Come on, let everyone have a little look Oh my, look at the fucking... Oh my God, you look like Hitler, Hitler. Wow! Has anyone ever dissed anyone more in their life? I'm sorry, but you do look like Hitler. That's his hairstyle. That's the worst thing.

You look like a brown, greying Hitler. There's me, there's me. Here's a question. There's me thinking that I couldn't go out with. How you're in? as well. Right, okay. Here's a question, right?

Right. Hitler, very bad man. Okay, awful. Is this the beginning of that history degree you did? Is this the beginning of the dissertation you did for that history? I want to talk about life, right? Sometimes you think, can I use Hitler as a reference because he was so horrendous? Yeah.

But I'm only saying that you look like him. But is that allowed? Genuine question. Sorry, as the person? just been totally looks like. A greying Hitler, which was lovely. Yes, I do believe... Isn't it weird, though?

Because you go, am I allowed to mention him? So, there's a... So there's a weird thing with... There's two schools I thought here. We're not from a minority, or not even a minority, we're not from a social group

that he victimized and murdered on mass, right? I used to, before I was brown and green, I used to be blonde-haired, me um but also just by saying his name some people wrongly think a you're celebrating b you're endorsing or or c you're making light of everything you did you're not you're just seeing my hair look what really irritatingly it did it did it did it was well upset if anything it'll it'll drive people to the to the youtube you've done a really good thing have i yeah anyone who's upset you've driven we'll have that plaque that hundred thousand oh my well maybe that's why i did it

people could see go and have a look. I just think sometimes offense and things in comedy and you know, it's like... I'm only asking you this because we are on this platform and we talk and we have conversations and sometimes I'm just a bit like, I sometimes

don't know what to say. But then again I do also believe that everyone who's ever been cancelled didn't know they were going to be cancelled when they said the thing that cancelled them. So also tiptoe be careful. I don't know. I think... I think you just mentioned it. He was a historical figure.

He was a historical figure. So, you know, you could say I looked like Genghis Khan. Murdered a lot more people than Hitler. A lot more. Anyway. But also, can we just commend Rosie everyone on the incredible, incredibly succinct and educated... This isn't a compliment. The educated highbrow summary,

Hitler very bad man, I think... What a bad guy. Hitler, Hitler very bad man. I think, again, that, that masters you've got in history is peeing off.

Don't, because that's a real bone of contention with me. Oh, was history E? A. A? Even when you wrote, even when you wrote

at the top of the test, Hilder very bad man. You've still got an E? That's at least a D. A? As if I got an A for history. Like, E.

And I was in the good set. Right. Not the top, but the good, I was in there. Can you believe, right? No, no, stop, top.

No. Do you, she wrote in top sets? What sets were you in? Just like, right, well, this is a horrendous thing. It made me friends were talking about this recently. And I actually don't know if this school that I used to go to still has this. But when I went to school, you were either in the upas or the lowers. Loz's, that's good for morale, isn't it?

That's really good for a kid's conference, that. That's brilliant. It's actually horrendous? Yeah. Like, how bad is that? Upas, up as this weird to the boys and girls' toilets. Lois. shit in that ditch.

Lois, just go to shit in that ditch over there, please. Piss on each other's backs. Gosh, it's awful. It's really,

it's really not, good, it's really bad. So you are either in like, so there was time, we're here, something else. What would be the other one?

God, I forgot. Tees? No, up at Tyne, up at where we are, up at Derwent. Ah, okay. Rivers?

Just threw that one in. It's rivers. Um. What's, okay. Durwind, where's that? Where's that?

Where's Derwent? River? Is it? Is it? Is it aroundy or somewhere? I don't fucking know. Brilliant. So anyway.

Geography, Ian geography as well. Yeah. Over time. It was over here. And then it was like lower time. Have I ever told you? So when I went in year 10, year 11,

we did what options and that. And you could take a box. I'm sure I've said this before, but I'm going to say it again, just a brag. You could take a box that said extended, which meant you did two extra hours of classes each week. Obviously I didn't tick extended. Loads of people didn't tick extended.

And a load of what got pulled out of class one day and took to the hall. and we all had to stand in the hall there was only about 15, 16 and we had to stand in the hole and wait for the headmaster was going to come out, the head of year was going to come and speak to him about something

and we all stand there going what do you think they're going to do? What are you going to say? And I said for a joke, oh, we're all so clever he's going to beg what it'd be an extended. It's exactly what he had. It's exactly what he came and did.

Asked you to do extended. Came and said, look, I mean, I now know that's because they didn't have enough numbers to justify it. Do you know, I think that might happen to me. Oh really? Yeah, extended lower. extended lower

they said will you will you do the classes in this basement I was literally I must have been the bottom of the uppers like I was

just like I was teetering into that bottom of the uppers I swear to God started from the bottom of the uppas now we're here started from the bottom of the yuppas

now my whole team fucking hair stuff it's really bad though it was actually a real sort of social don't ask me brother I think my brother that's really triggered by

because my brother was in Lois and all of his mates went up as so they were in completely different classes and they kind of had to see each other in the yard but yeah he was in in Lois and that honestly I would no I don't know I wouldn't I don't want to bring it up to him I think he's actually got a bit of trauma from it oh I think really I think it's not was not a good any teachers any teachers out there email in let one know how do they soften the blow of letting children know that they're in the bottom bottom bottom classes these days I think I don't think they would do that now no what if it's a lot is low as low

is so on the nose. So on the nose. Like, do you know what I mean? Oh, we're just going to separate you into the cleveres and the fools. You're in fools. You're in lower fool. Like, come on.

I should have been in lowers. I still remember so, do you know what I mean? You know, you forget so many things from your childhood. But having the memory, right, of my mom and dad going to chat with my maths teacher, Mrs. Gibson, and her telling them that I might just get ungraded in my maths.

Like, she predicted that I would get ungraded. And I still remember the conversation so vividly. Oh. Oh, it was awful. Like, my mom and dad were mint about it, to be fair. They were literally like, so fuck. Do you know what I mean? I didn't, obviously, I didn't get wrong or anything like that.

But I just remember it so vividly, so I would not have coped with being in Lois. Because that, a prop. But you were in Lois? I wasn't. I was in the Upaz. Why? Oh, right. I thought you were in the Ubers.

No, I was in Ubers. Just bite of his breath. So you remember the entire conversation about your maths teacher. I can say it. I can literally what in the maths class. If only during that conversation she started just randomly throwing in some times tables, you'd remember them as well.

Yeah, possibly. You know? If she was just like, look, I think Rosie's going to do so badly that the squeam on the high potter news is equal of some of the squares on their two sides, that she is going to get ungraded here. Ungraded. Well...

What did I say in the middle there? Square high pattern use. Did you? Something about that? Squared n. What's the N? What is the N? N times equals.

What the fuck? N times equals. No, just I remember it on the board thing. And this is gobbledy goof. Y, X, N. Never A-B-B-B-C. Just the end of the alphabet. fucking ridiculous

that's such a good point it's stupid because someone like you who doesn't know anything about it Y and X that adds even more anxiety to it because it's the weird letters

that you never use wow horrible I think that's why they pit them because it was a weird ones that you never use but yeah the lines on a graph

in it so yeah listen jokes on them ask us what I got what did you get I got a D so I did get a grade Mrs Gibson see Mrs Gibson

she didn't get ungraded, she got a grade, a terrible one, but a grade. D. D. D for delicious. Diff for dick. Dantz. Dunts, yeah. Sorry, you're in uppers and you're in dunce. Can you put these hats on, please? Can you just put these hats on? No, I was, and honestly, the chuffness of my mom and dad when I got that D, I swear to God. They were like, you didn't get an ungrated. You got a D? That's amazing, isn't it? Aimlo. Emlo, zero expectations, coming with a D.

they're fucking, they get the champagne out. It was such a, it was a good day. But then, but then South Timeside College ripped my heart in two. Yeah. Because I went in that little queue. I remember this as well. Went in the queue for what do you want to do.

What would you like to do here? Sorry, we've talked about this before, but just as an update, so I was in the same block, G block in college. I was upstairs doing A levels. You were downstairs in, again, the basement. I remember walking, sometimes I had to walk through that corridor

if the back door, if the top stays were blocked, I'd have to walk through that corridor past you and all the people reset in your JCCC. You must have been the only person in the queue for that class who wasn't holding a moped helmet. It's just lads on more. All I'm standing with them.

I'm going to walk past and go, where the fuck I wrote these mopeds? It was a horrible class. It was a horrible experience. Do you want to come back and do the thing that you fucking hated your whole life? I think you've been shitting up for five years. Do you want to come to another place and do it with adults? Yeah, it was hot.

hated that class. I hated it. But no, that's what happened. You've shit on your thing, but I had to go and stand in the queue. And I was like, college! Yes! Get me out of school!

And then they were like, what do you want to do? I was like, I would love to do, like, um, theatres like I wanted to do theatre studies, English literature, and then I ended up doing it. So I did theatre studies, English literature,

and then what else did I do? Sociology, which was a crock of fucking shit. But then the guy, the horrible man, said, well, you can't do any of these things unless you've reset your math GCSE. Pointless. Why?

And I was like, well, what? The theatre studies. What am I doing? What, counting the fucking chairs in the theatre? It's bullshit. Apparently it's even worse now. Really? Honestly,

oh, apparently they're really strict now. Like, you can't even get a job without your GCSES. Fuck off. Bullshit. So I still don't have a math GSSESA. I'm not condoning it, but how did the check? How did the check? I got, I got in English.

In English, A star in maths, A star in statistics. Yeah, no, I made mine up for years. I didn't, yeah, I'm just making that up. I didn't get that. I didn't get that at all. Yeah. It's fucking, what are you going to do?

There's that much fucking data protection now. You kind of check. I don't say anything though, because I once said on my Instagram who gives a shit about JCSs and I got... Well, yeah, because that's... I got the GCSE Police, who probably were all in the uppers on me back.

Oh, they definitely didn't get D's in math. Oh, no. They love that GCSs SES. Sorry, GCSE Police, that could be... Yeah, after this, we'll get a treatment written down. See, Beebees, a lot of that. Oh, CBBC. What?

Little sick, little kids, sick. Come, the GCSE, please. The GCSE, police. GCS, please. Oh, gotta be all the ex-head girls and head boys. You're not revising. Woo-woo, woo, woo, woo. Get in the lowers.

Yeah. Get you right in the lowers. That's it, that can be the catchphrase. We'll get you right, we'll get you right in the lowers. Yeah. Is that casually out of bill, I don't know. Anyway, good chat, good chat. Good chat.

I feel old. Tell everyone you got to maths again, GCSE. I got a D. What are you getting history? E. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Right, we've decided that we're going to ring Kev and ask him if he's upset. I'm against this, can I just say, but Rosie wants to ring Kev and ask him if he's got

trauma from being in the Lois. I want to say if he's got trauma from being in the Lois. Right, okay. Hello? Hello? Yeah, yeah, fine. I'm just giving you a quick little call. Sorry, are you busy?

Oh, I'm just driving. I'm pulled over. All right. We're just doing the podcast, Kev. I just wanted to catch up. Gary? Why, we're fine. Keb, we're just talking, right?

Do you remember school? Remember school? Yeah. Do you know how it was like the upas and the lowers? See? We're just talking about how awful it was that it was called the lowers? They're doing it anymore. They don't do it anymore?

Okay, that's good though. I was in a box. I know. Do you feel like you've got any trauma from that? Are you okay? I don't have to be special. Jeffman. Why did you say?

We're laughing. I'm sorry. I'm sure. We're laughing. Oh, that's not, I don't know. Who ruined this? Kev, did it make you a stronger person? Exactly, babe.

And look, you're a successful plasterer, and you're doing amazing, and I love you at a bit. Nice one, Kev. Where are you working in the day? Oh, lauddy-da. I do all the poshast, ma. I know you do. Because, you see, you might not have your GCSEs,

but you've got a bit of class. Yeah. laughing back. Right, Kev. I love you at the death. I'm going to finish work at like 3 o'clock and all their clever people are still head of things, so.

Suckers! Get in. All right, okay, I'll speak here soon. See you now, Kev. Bye, love you, bye. Bye, love me, bye. I'll finish working 3 o'clock and all them clever people are working until 5,

so I get the last laugh. Just great. That was so funny. He's fucking... I, it ruined us. I was ruined us. I wasn't ex- I wasn't ex-ed.

No, but that's why I rang him because genuinely, I know how much it affected him. Yeah. And it was really bad. Yeah, it's a lot like. Anyway. We shouldn't have laughed, but that was just the way he said it. I thought he's got me, like, no, I'm fine.

I, it ruined us. He's so funny. I swear to God, he's so funny. And he doesn't even, it doesn't even... He doesn't even realise. He doesn't even realise. realize. Oh, you see?

Nah, it means for all. Exactly. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. It's time for what's your beef. What's your beef? What's your beef. What's your beef? Beef, beef.

I'm going to go first. Oh, you know. I am. My beef with you is you keep being incredibly hard on yourself for how you look and you're absolutely fucking beautiful and you need to stop it right now.

You're beautiful. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. absolutely drop dead gorgeous i love you you love me life you're beautiful stop it chris ramsie would not be married to a minger i just need to tell you that right now that's the main thing we need to take from this right it was about you nice about me would not be married to a minger so don't stop it oh no stop it man what are you bringing this up go because you're beautiful and i'm just having one of them i wanted to say it on the podcast i know people have said

you know in the past we should say nice things about each other there you go did i wrap it in a bit of arrogance about myself? Yes. Did I put it in the beef section? Yes, because I'm not just come outwardly and just do compliments for no reason like it's fucking love actually. I understand that your front door with a lot of cards were still written on. But there we go. I think, do you know what it is Chris? Excuse me, I'm so sorry.

It's just... Still thinking you're beautiful. No, it's bourbon. Higguburn. Still think she's beautiful. Burbin away. Turn it away, burpurn. Turn it's beautiful. Still beautiful. Thanks. I did cover my mouth like a delicate little princess. No, it's just... It's because I've got to look at myself all the time. I'm sick of looking at my face and I just think if I... Well, I'm not.

But if I had a normal life... In normal life, right? Yeah. You kind of only get self-conscious when it's like a wedding or like a night out. And you're like, oh God, like this dress doesn't fit. I feel like I've got that just all the time. So it's just a bit of much.

And I put a bit of weight on, which is fine. I've just been eating too much. But it's fine. You still max are back in the shops. Oh, mate, I can't fucking stop. I can't stop. Yeah. This time of year is my krypton night.

Yeah. We've said this before. Much worse than Christmas. Christmas I'm actually alright. The kids have got so many as well already. Someone shouted at the person who gave us some at Lester. That was really nice. Someone gave us some at Lester.

Very nice. I was at the bank today and they gave Rief one at the bank. I was like, do you want to take one from Robin as well? I went, no, you didn't come, you can't. If you come out with this, you can't. No, because you know it's just going to go into my mouth. That's really sweet of you.

Thank you and I love you. And I know you do. And I know you think that I look nice and stuff. And that's, you know, but. Try and remember it. What about everyone? No, I'm joking. No, I just feel like a bit of a clip

But I think it's hormones Hormones, life, everything You've never mentioned that on hormones I can't be it My hormones I can't be it Yeah You'll be telling you've got a period next

Which I've never heard about Great, great My beef with you Yes Is you? Not right I know you're trying to be nice But it's infuriating

So we got back from the We got the train station yesterday We had loads of big bags and we had our lovely driver who often drives us around Mark because by the way we can't fit our car at the train station car park

Yeah sort that out Newcastle train station What are you doing? Like it's 2026 Cars are much bigger nowadays Right You need to extend the car park It's ridiculous you can't park a car So we just can't take cars

I've got to climb out the fucking boot in that place It's insanity right As people who use the train a lot It would be lovely if we could park a car there But we can't And we're talking about The mini, we've got a mini, we can't fit it in the spaces. That's by the bye.

That's maybe for the Newcastle train station. Anyway. You should start finding people for going over the lines. That's all I'm saying. The spaces aren't big enough. But people have go over the lines. There's people, you know, people in like, they just put their wheel over that. And then you go, okay, so everything's not got now.

I know, but what you've got to remember is that those car parking spaces, right? Like a lot of places in the UK, do remember Mr. Bean's car? There haven't been changed since then. It was also a mini, but yes. Okay. Right. Well, just, you know, the little cars. I don't know.

Everyone used to have like four escorts and that. They were like narrow, yeah, yeah. Tiny. Now everyone's got fucking range rule revokes and big fucking Audi's and cash guys. Yeah, cash guys and that, yeah. So anyway, right. Right. So we had all our cases and you went and took them at the car and I went, I'm just going to nip.

I didn't have any bags, nothing to carry. Yeah. I went, I'm just going to nip the marquises to get a couple of bits of like shopping to take home. Yeah. Right? Yeah. You came back. Yeah.

And you went, I've come to give you a hand. Yeah. You don't give us a hand. you just take over. So one, I didn't. I held the basket for you and you filled up the basket. And then you took it to the cash point, to the checkout and you just did it all. So then I'm stood there, totally redundant, thinking I didn't need help.

I didn't need or want your help. Okay. But you just come and take over? You can't pack a carrier bag. You can't pack the shopping. It's called what to do with you how I packed that carry bag. It does because I've got to eat that bread. You put the bread at the bottom, you're squishes.

Guys, guys. She squishes it. I do not put bread at the bottom. Your finger out of my shot. Your finger is in my camera. I do not put bread at the bottom of a bag. I know how to pack a bag. Bread and eggs and eggs and croissons go on the top. Eggs go on the top.

Eggs go on the top. You can put them in the middle really depends what you're putting on. You don't have some packing around them. No. It was really passive. It was just. Helping you, doing the shot and for you was passive. You took over?

You just took over? You just took over and did the whole thing. So I was just stood there thinking, and what you just took it office and took over okay I'll apologize I'll just let you do it yourself next time yes please thank you stuff I get in trouble for it's actually mad it's what we live in opposite land we're living opposite land

we're different people on pop to see if you let me pack all our chum no let's split up and go and marry some useless fucking wench who just loves getting shit done for her I don't like the word useless but I am intrigued by the word go and marry some useless wench very very intrigued by a girl from one I've seen a Game of Thrones and things, wenches, always up for it. Wentch is the wrong word because the wench wouldn't be useless.

But no, just, I'm, I just like, I don't need your help doing the shopping. All right. I'm not a damsel in distress. Okay. Okay. Go and marry a damsel and you can rescue out all the time. I don't like damsel. Go and marry one of them girls.

Oh, I just can't, oh, it's too heavy. Oh, I just can you please that you are? Can you packbacks? It's not me. It's just not me. You got on my nerves. I was like, I'm just stood here now, doing nothing. Great.

Great. But why didn't you stay at the car? Just came to help you. Just, you're in a train station. People are dicks, man. So this is what it goes to. Chris constantly thinks that I'm going to just get killed. I think you're going to get attacked and killed.

And I feel like you need a Brazilian Jitsu Blue Belt with you at all times to close personal protection. And to make sure you don't put the bread right at the bottom of the back. It's a two-pronged attack I was on. it's a two-pronged attack it's one personal safety for my wife two personal safety

for me bread right something's that two most important things in my life bread my wife and I did say bread first yeah

yeah I know I know oh god babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadu babadu babadu babadu babadu babadu babu it's time for questions from the public questions from the public public

as always if you'd like you get in touch it chag Maddenoyd at gmail.com. If you want to send a voice note, the number is 07874-40-6650. Both of those things are on the podcast page. Well done. Okay. All from women, by the way. Voice notes, yeah?

No, men is voice notes not a thing with men? I don't know. Do you and your friends send voice notes? Again, on my WhatsApp, the tag on my WhatsApp is keep your voice notes under a minute, you fucking monsters. Because people, when someone sends me a voice note and it's more than a minute,

it's like they've sent as an episode of their own podcast. Get out of my inbox, you fucking prick. I love a voice note me. Nah, hate them. I think women, like, the first person I ever saw doing voice notes to that extent was Vicki Patterson. Vicki Patterson was the first person I ever saw doing them like big style. And I remember I sitting behind her in a car and I was like, oh, someone's going to listen to

all of that, Vicki. Like, what? Do you know what I mean? Like loads of information. I need a bit of copy-paste I need a bit, I can't like, because then you've got to let you go, oh, he's invited us,

a mate of mine sent him on the other day, I was invited us on a golf day, a charity golf day, I've listened to it, oh yeah, all right, what was the date again? I've got to go back through his voice note. Like, fuck, what are you doing that?

And I just forget, if I listen to it and don't reply straight away, it's, exactly, I find them to be, in the past. They're attempting to be more personal, but they're actually awkward and I don't,

I don't like them. I do not like a voice note. And I think most men feel the same. apart from again my mate who sends really long ones. That's fine. And stop it. It's really irritating. Wow.

Are you ready? Hi Rosie and Chris. Longtime listener here. As Rosie is currently in her Pilates girl era, I thought she might enjoy this ick. So I went to yoga the other day and a man turned up, that's not the end of the ick,

a man turned up in jeans. Jeans! To yoga? Like, how are you going to move? I just, it blew my mind. That's horrible. That he thought, I'm going to yoga. I'm just going to put my jeans on.

Awful. Ew. Honestly, disgusting. That's, that's psychotic. I hate that. I told you, I've said before, when making me mate to when we're like 15, 16, leaving school, we all started, like, you know, going to, like, that was when, like, the gym would let you in. You could go to, like, body-wise, the Saturday morning gym, where kids were allowed in for two hours.

And we used to go jogging down the beach. and two of my mates to turn up in jeans because we're a bit skater boyish but obviously I still had track your pants and train as because I just did but yeah there would skate skateboard and shoes

like DCs or vans jeans and a t-shirt run along the fucking bitch and jeans it's like what you're doing and it is to do yoga still oh yeah you're gonna get some serious yeah serious chafage

in the middle of your legs like running in jeans is a nightmare good morning team I'm currently sitting in the bath eating some brandy cake because it was my birthday yesterday, a happy birthday too many.

And it made me think of an ick. Please picture this if you will. When a man has to use more than one breath to blow out his birthday candles. So embarrassing. And he might love you by. I swear to God. I think we're hate you.

I think we're hate you. Like, let the men have two breaths. I get it. Oh my God. I get it. Oh, Jesus. It's just sad. That's bad, though.

That's bad. Oh, that's wonderful. I love that so much. We don't let you scare away. We're now doing. Yeah. How many candles you got for using two breaths? What you're doing?

That's madness. Huff. Have. F. Ha, f. How me, bear. Go on. Happy birthday, Graham, got on, Blummer.

Oh, I took them too. Fuck, yeah, job. I take it back, not happy birthday, yeah, we're going, cancel the party, we're leaving. What a fucking joke. You're not getting your birthday shag the night. Yeah, your birthday blow job just got relegated with a birthday hand job.

Oh. I'll just put it out there. I don't want a hand job of anyone who's not me. Nah. Oh. This is new information. Yeah, I just think, like, hand job. Could have told me this?

What, you're going to, sorry, Ruth, You're going to go for stroke with the professional, are you? Yeah, I agree. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm glad you've said it. I wish everyone, okay. He's pointed in the wrong direction and that. Ah, no, hey, looker, give it to you.

Okay, all right. You heard it from the pig's mouth. They don't actually, girls, they don't like them. Not a hand job. We can do it ourselves. Anything above that, absolutely. Yes, please, we can't believe we'll look. Of course.

I bet men give good handjobs. Yeah, good point. Still not enough to turn us, but good try. Oh, go on. I can. Go on, go on, go on, go on, go on. Would you have a cup of tea? Go on.

Will you not have a glass of the ballacks? Will you not have a little handchild father? Father? He definitely would. Yes, lasses, we all know now. They don't actually like hand drops. No, no. That's not bother.

Yeah, I'll date. I'll do you probably. Super quick voice note. I've had an ick. First of all, like I've been listening to you guys since I was probably under the age than I should have been. But I basically became single again very recently. And I started, I started seeing someone. And by the way, the dating scene, horrific. Don't do it. I hope I got to save the ever forever. Mainly because a lot of admin.

Anyway. And I have a cat and I had a man come over who was really obsessed with cats. And the biggest ick was watching him. You know how there's the classic kick of chasing a ping pong ball? He was chasing my cat in that position going, he kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty. In a really high pitch voice, I still had to have sex for them. You didn't.

He did not have to have sex with them. He brought the voucher. He had the voucher. It had been stamped. I had to fulfill the sex. Guys, I haven't said this for it, you don't have to have sex with anybody who you don't want to have sex with. And we've just, we've just, we've just. revealed that he doesn't want a hand job either so you don't have to do anything you don't have to do

anything yeah just say good night say goodbye to the cat not this one that one say you later say goodbye to both pussies no you don't go out oh god that's upsetting yeah you don't have sex with anybody though very funny very funny I got one I think she wanted to have sex I think she just wanted to have sex and she had to have sex that guy because he was the guy who was there I think that's what she means I don't she didn't feel obligated she wanted to have sex yeah why I've agreed with all of these icks though. Like deep down. The birthday cake one.

I don't know about that. A little bit. I know, not really. Honestly, I'm not going to be like to enjoy my next birthday cake. I'll be shit in my pants. Are you terrified? No, because we're past the icks. We're past the icks now.

Tommy two blows. We're past the ex. Once you're married, you're in. You've got to just deal with everything, you know. But like when you've just first meeting people, that that, yeah, Tommy two blows. Thank you. Listening to your most recent podcast. and I've had to pause it to send this in.

Hearing your beef about Chris not knowing what to get you for protein reminded me of being in the supermarket and this lovely elderly gentleman asked me if I knew what savories were. His wife had sent him out and asked for him to get her some savories. So he had no clue what to get her. So he was asking me, we were stood in front of pork pies, there was ham, all sorts of those sort of things. and so I went on to describe what savories were, crisps, you know, told him all of the things that he could get her for savories.

After quite a lengthy discussion, he then said, I don't think I'll bother. I'll just tell her they didn't have anything. Now this conversation still plays on my mind. This was months ago and I wonder what to the hell happened when he got home. Because if that was my husband and I sent him out to get him. me some savories and he'd returned home with no savories, I would be livid. Yeah. So I still think about this and I just had to send this in.

Love you guys. Love you too. Right. So. No, savories is far too big. That's insane. Okay. So the other podcast when I said you saying protein is one below saying just food, no.

It goes food, savories, protein. Yours was, yeah. So sweet and savoury. So yours was the third subcategory. Savories is why is she asking for savories? I don't think she's said savories. She must have said savouries. She might have said Savloid.

I don't think she's said savouries. What else sounds like savouries? I don't know. But that is sanitary pads? Flavories. No. I think they might have been past periodage. I'm telling you though, like yes, because he hasn't just made that up himself.

So first of all, their husband and wife, he's never heard I say the word savouries or he's heard I say it. He's fucking ignored it every single time to the point where he doesn't know what savories are, to the point where he hasn't Googled it, he's just asked someone. And when presented with how many savories there is, he's thought, fuck that I'm not going to bother.

In his defence, that is really vague. It's unbelievably vague. I actually feel of it's very much to just, what I would have got, if you sent me for savories, what would you even get? I'd get your breadsticks. Uh-huh.

I would get you probably some kind of chutney. I would get you some ham. I'll get you some crisps. I would get you some nuts. If you're not watching the podcast, I've just sat back in disarray because how come you can know what savories are but you didn't know what protein was?

I did know what protein was but again was the problem My problem My problem, never do that again My problem with this the protein was The protein is part of a main meal You're asking me to get protein

Because you wanted for your main meal Let me finish proteins. Proteins. You want it as you part of your main meal. It's just a load of fucking shit.

Savories. It's just a, you might as well go look. Go and look at a fucking, the first bit of a buffet table at a 60th birthday in a fucking community center. That's what,

that's savories. Piece of piss. No. This is wild that you're taking this approach to this. By proteins are meant, you're in the doctor surgery, right? And there's a poster on the wall. Eat more protein.

Pigeas of protein. You know what's on there? I do. Fish, meat. Yes, yes, yes, yes. But again, outside is in Knox Spencer today, right? Yeah. Fucking, there's, there's, there's all, so there's like, there's, the raw stuff just on its own,

like chicken breast just raw and so on. But all, it's all savories. Listen. It's all savouries. It's all right. Yeah, but I'm saying you're like, I would know more what to get for savories. I would know what I'd do for savours. I would, I would.

Because I know more about what that means. It's ridiculous. I know more about what that means as a food group for a choice. I do. You are ridiculous. Yeah, because the protein, again, is the ones, the uncooked ones that are just plain, and then you've got the cooked ones, right, that I've already done, or then you've got the ones that are, like, in a metal tree where it's like, oh, that comes with a sauce.

Enough. I've tapped out. I'm over the conversation. And I don't want to talk about it anymore. That's not many of people doing, they know they're wrong. Oh, no, I don't think I'm wrong. I'm just bored. All right, okay.

Stop. Stop. Stop. Good. Do you love being married? It's brilliant. Do you like doing this podcast? were married because if we weren't married right

if you were sat there opposite me and someone who was, you're Ben Chepard right? I couldn't wish. Goodness, it's seen on men's health. I wish I was Brent Shepherd. By the way, what is it now just everyone's on men's health?

Is that the crack? Have you seen? Oh, everyone's on men's health now. Russell King's done it, Paddy McGuinness has done it. When's your? When's yours? Honestly, like, I was going to say, yeah? Genuinely, the fact of how many of my peers have been on men's health and I haven't.

I feel like I've just had a letter just saying, you are a fat cunt. Anyway, I couldn't do that to him, could I? I couldn't just go, no, enough. Yeah, you couldn't know, it would be awful. Yeah, his age up before and your agent going, yeah, she was fucking horribly in the idea. What's wrong with her?

Do you want to hear? Sorry, I'm done with this. I'm commenting on what she says. She's done with that as well. Fuck me. Jesus Christ. I do an email your fucking. If you can read, what did you get for English?

Junior G says he's fucking dunce. Do you know what? No, I've got an A. How ridiculous is that? I got an A of English. What a spread. What a spread? I just, it's just your brain.

What a crop. It's your brain. I don't know how you weren't picked up on earlier on. To get an E in history and then a D in maths, I'll be told you we're going to be ungraded and then to get an A in English. That's such a spread of like, okay, this isn't, normal curriculum isn't for this person. Their brain works in certain ways. Well, one thing in certain ways, a lot of things.

and doesn't work at all for history or maths. Yeah. What is that? I don't know what it is. It's all about connecting with the kid, with your brain and something that enthuses you and makes you want to actually learn. You can't just learn something because you're supposed to learn it.

Yeah, because I love English. I love like stories and I should have done film and media. Is that what's called? Yeah. Film and media. Yeah. I should have done that. So if I gave you a sheet,

if I gave you a sheet with just 100 numbers on in sequence and said, memorize all them, I'll give you some lyrics to a song What are you going to remember easier The song Exactly Because I mean I don't know why you said it like that The song

Because I'm saying it because I'm Yeah Little stupid Listen You think that we've got crazy X as women This is one of the worst ones I've heard Wow okay Because I just think

It's this is I don't agree with this one But okay It says all right Chris and Rosie Long time listening to our first time in there So just pull into McDonald's drive-thru and spotted an incredibly attractive lad in the car in front of me.

Nice car, tan, tight gym shirt and big arms. Sounds like a prick, but carry on. Yeah, whatever. Just not your type. Just don't know it. Sounds like a prick. Why?

Because I'm jealous, man. God, I bet he's on fucking men's health cover as well, is he? Shut up. As I collected my double cheeseburger and milkshake to cure this awful hangover thinking I'd never see this perfect god of a lad again.

I seen him pull into the waiting bay. Ike. You cannot live your life. You cannot live your life. I don't agree with that. Wow.

Listen, I'm a waiting bay girlie. Yeah, because you do big mac with no cheese. So I'm just a waiting bay, bitch. And that lovely that I immediately knew that order. Oh God.

I know why you're in the waiting bay. It's not romantic that you know me McDonald's order. That's not a way to connect with us. There's a protein in it. Probably not. Yeah, that's hilarious. So he's lush.

He's got a lush car, big arms, tight gym shirt, tan. Oh, oh, he's waiting in the bay. Eck. It's fucking hilarious. So ridiculous, isn't it? That was your opportunity to go talk to him actually and you've lost it. What are you waiting for, sweetheart? Yeah.

Is it me? Oh, sweet. Sweet. Sweet. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadu. Hi, Chris and Rosie. I just finished listening episode 175. God.

And they still had numbers. Jesus Louise. Because their algorithm doesn't like numbers. Chris mentioned he wished he could get rid of handwriting. Yeah, I do believe that. What a wild thing? What I don't remember that? I think two things I've wanted to get rid of is ironing and the neat no iron things.

Oh yeah. And yeah, handwriting, found handwriting. I think ironing is a funny one because I'm currently trying to get intervened, right? But I can't see past everybody's. They look like pieces of shit. And people are like, I want 45 quid for this And I'm like, what? That crumpled up mess of a top.

You want 45 quid for it? And the world's gone, what, mad? Yeah. Like, no. I think if you've worn something more than five times, I don't think you can ask for more than a five or for it personally. What do you not think? What if it's a fitted Hugo Boss suit?

Well, I suppose that's a bit different. But people are literally, they're like, oh, he has me new look t-shirt. I want seven quid for it. And I'm like, no. No. No. Absolutely not. And don't iron it. But what I was trying to say is, it's long-winded, but we all live in a world where we know what creases are, really, should it matter? I agree. Again, yeah.

But it does, though, because it looks like about it. Hey, listen, I tour with a steamer now. Change me life. I know. We used to tour with iron and ironing board in the back of the van, like morons. A handheld steamer now. God, fill up the tap. That's all I use. I do calls clothes before every show. That's cute. It's not cute. I had to do it because he was standing with a steam.

steamer. It was, he had it about 10 inches away from the, he was holding his shirt up. He had the steamer literally a ruler's length away. Just that, is it? Is this it? Is this how we do? I know how long a ruler is. It's because he stayed at the fucking desk and said doing your work. Literally, 30 centip meters away like, uh, is this it? I went, give us that here before I wrap around your neck. Yeah, but you could have just taught him how to do it. That you don't, yeah, he's useless. Well, listen to this, right? Yeah. My husband also has awful handwriting. And he got sick of writing in the office cards for birthdays, get well, soon and sorry you're leaving etc so he decided what was the staff turnover in this place one

how ill is everyone two how many leave up what the fuck when you work we haven't worked in a place for a while there is a lot of card writing tell what must be difficult tell it must be very difficult when you're like on a health kick doing your protein goals and you do doing all this stuff and you work in an office and every other yeah every other day some twatts having a birthday or a celebration or leaving and they bring him cakes in and you're like what the fuck are you doing to us cookies yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I get when I sometimes when we're on the tour I'll sometimes go out with a shop beforehand and I'll get like well I was walking around bath and I got like these lovely cookies bath sorry and I got these lovely cookies and I came and I gave

something to Reese and Lucia and all the tech and stuff and Lucia's like why are you doing this she's like why do you keep doing this like a third day in the row I got some cookies or something she was like you need to stop she was like you have to stop because like she's like dead fit was like running every morning and stuff she was like, you need to stop. We can't just keep having cooking every single night. Yeah, you facilitate. I stopped.

I stopped. Well, listen, he got so sick of it. So he decided to get a stamp created that said, happy birthday from Kyle. And he stamps it in everyone's cards. Even on Get Well Soon? Well, it says, yeah, he stamps it in everyone's cards

whether it's their birthday or not. So I'm guessing he, He's just like, I don't give a shit. There goes my hero. Watch him as you. Oh, my God, I love him. Yeah. Carl, that is Kyle's drink.

Read the stamp. It says Kyle. That is genius. And he must just be known now. He's like that. He's made a little joke. Good for him. I love that.

Good for him. Happy birthday from Kyle. Fucking great. You know it was only three cards or something and he went, oh, the hell were this? I love the idea. Can you sign this? Can you sign this?

sign this card for Karen yeah? God, can we do it tomorrow? Because my stamp gets here tomorrow? I don't want to write I don't want to write. But I birth days a day, my hands are tied. I think you would love this stamp. When was the last time you actually wrote out a card? You never write the family cards out. I don't know, point it's my hands.

I'm not even allowed to sign our books. I sign my name, but I'm not allowed to write the two and from and the person's name and that. You won't let us. It's awful. I wouldn't not let you. You do, you don't. I've seen you. You take the pen offers and you slap us on the nose of the rolled up newspaper and you're saying, no. And I've learned. I still love we're going to make you laugh, you know.

I still love it. Oh, I'm not laughing at you. Fuck, are we laughing at? Unbelievable. I was thinking of a memory. Listen, should I take me a cap off again just for the end bit? It's dreadful that, that is really. Look at that bit there.

That's it. It's that on the... Oh, no, you look like pop eye. Do you remember? What's it? No. No. No, don't have to have.

I'm going to stop the gun. I want to stop the gun. No, what is it? I forgot. to the finish because I hate me finished. To the finish because I see me spinach. I'm Popeye the sailor

bean. It's famous of the episode where he had his jaw wired shut. Right, good. Bye. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadu, ba. We have a laugh, don't we? We have a bloody laugh. We do. Thank you for watching and thank you for listening

to this week's episode of Shagged Marriedenorm. Yes, thank you so much for listening. And as always, if you want to get in touch, email is shagmarionad at gmail.com. And if you want to send in a voice note to the WhatsApp, it's 07-87-4-4-0-66-5-0. How well, lads. Get your WhatsApp in. Yes, lads, send some in.

And obviously all of that deals there on the podcast page as well. Thank you so much for listening and watching. Please subscribe on YouTube. Bye. Bye.