Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Bro Dad, The Agadoo, and sooo many Lady Birds!

Episode Date: September 11, 2026

On this week's Shagged Married Annoyed there is a lot going on and the new feature is popping off! Thanks for all your brilliant voice notes and emails sharing your sayings that other people say... Plus this week Chris has a new nickname and shares his joy of packing cubes, Rosie reveals some crime drama grievances and the campaign to keep The Agadoo alive starts here! If you want to get involved and have your stories and voice notes included on the podcast, then get in touch!  📧: [e-mail] 📱: 07874 406650 You can watch the podcast on the Shagged Married Annoyed YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@shagged.married.annoyed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Coming up on this week's episode of Shag Married annoyed, I'm off on tour this week and I'm bang on about it almost for the entire episode. Apologies in advance. Chris has got a new nickname. I have got a new nickname and I'm trying to make it stick. Chris has also come up with a new game that's going to be taking over the nation. Honestly, it's going to be everywhere. A bit dangerous. Don't fully condone it, but you're going to love it. Huge. The kids are breaking me heart and I'll explain why. Do you want to feel old? I never want to feel old.

We've got beefs. And we have got amazing voice notes and emails from you, people mainly on our new segment, which is titled, stuff you say that are scenes about other people that they don't know about, that you always know about, that you always don't know about. Enjoy. I love it. Visit BetMGM Casino and check out the newest exclusive.

The Price is Right Fortune Pick. BetMDM and Game Sense remind you to play responsibly, 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, Peace contact connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2,600 to speak to an advisor. Free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario.

Hello, you are listening and possibly watching, Shaqd Married and Oide with me, Rosie Ramsey and my husband, Christopher Ramsey. Hello, hello. Happy Friday. Yeah, it is Friday as you're listening to this. But listen, we'll start off on the wrong foot there. Can you please, please use my full. brand new name when addressing me today.

What is, I don't know this one. What's your new hobby? Hang on. No, no, it's not a hobby. Oh, no, no, it's just my new name. I get called round the house by, uh, wet eldest, constantly. I have no idea. Brodad. Brodad.

Brodad. Just, uh... What do you mean? Just, uh, hopefully I can just get at the stick. Um, so obviously he's always talking to his mates, whether he's on fortnight or whether he's on something, chatting with them or even, you know, when they're round and when he's playing out.

Yeah. No, bro, bro. So bro, bro, bro, he says bro, bro, so he says bro, and then quickly realizes I'm not his bro and has to change it to dad. Right. So all I get is, no, bro, dad. Bro, dad. Bro, dad.

Oh, God, bless him. So bro dad. Them two, little cretons are in my bad books. Right. The new game that they started playing, I'm not okay with it. What's the new game? The new game of Robin Whisperin' Whisperin' Array scream when I pretend to hit you.

So you clap these hands together and I'll go pack it and Rave will go and I'll go pack it and then they'll start laughing. And I'm like, oh, they're kind of bonding but... Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's nice. It is nice. But the thing is they're our children

so you can't really tell when they're acting or when they're. They're quite good. They've got the gene. They're very good. But I don't want to talk about them too much because I'm listening to an audio book at the minute about children. children who've been online, like YouTube and families and stuff.

Oh, they are. They are traumatized up to the hit. The damage, do they? Yeah, so I'm trying not to talk about the kids too much. Okay, I'll have to delete all the notes I've got today because most of them are the kids. Oh, no, no, it's fine. All my stand-ups about the kids. Yeah, no.

It's just bits and pieces in it. We're just basically, I think we're just going to have to pay them off. In the future, I just pay them off. Yeah. Well, then not. No, we'll just have to be like, are you sorry? You are a lot of content Yeah.

For, you know, when you were younger, we talked about stuff quite a lot. You are faceless, though. Nobody knows it looked like. He has a shiny farthing. And that's all they're getting. There's 30 quid. What?

35, you know what? I'll tell you what? No, no. Let's be, he has a hundred pound metro centre voucher. There it is. There you go. There it is.

There's a Lego shop. Money that you have to spend where I tell you to spend. No, but seriously. Yeah. It's not. But sorry, so are you like an, us telling a few little anecdotes about our children each week. Are you likening that to the woman who took our kids' beds away for a YouTube thing?

I had to fucking climb out of a window and go and knock on a neighbour because she had them locked up. Yeah, I'm not. She was a good fucking laugh. It's actually, it's so sad when you're, I'm listening to the audiobook now. It's really sad. There's stuff that, like, some of these children, they just don't have childhoods. Yeah, because they're just, yeah. And if they don't perform, they're like nine years old.

And if they don't perform, their parents are like, well, we'll have to be. move house because we won't be able to have this house anymore. And like you'll have to go back to school and all this kind of stuff. Sorry, they don't go to school. Of course they don't go to school. All that they've got jobs. They do YouTube. They've had to make laws in certain. I didn't want to get serious because genuinely I'm in a really good mood. So let's keep it light. Let's keep it light. Let's keep it light. But also get your kids off the internet. What are doing on the internet? Why are?

Get them off the internet. Get them off the e-scooters. That's my two things I want to tell you. Right. Listen, without further ado. Oh no. There is for there is some ado. There's loads of ado. Come on then. I want to say. Can I sing it? What? Can you what? Nothing. This introduction is horrible.

I was going to sing Agadu. I was going to fucking face. I will not let Agadu die. If Agadu dies, right? I'm sorry. If you guys listening or watching at home, say it with me, do not let Agadu die.

These songs, they are sacred and they're part of our culture, history. I didn't think this would be the source box you picked. Like, there's people out there who... It's people out there who pick so many. any things to be.

Yeah, but you go to a kid's party now. Do you hear Agadu? No, you don't. Baby Shark in that. Baby, fuck off, baby shark. Aga do. It's, ah, yeah. No, we know it, we know it, we know it, we know it.

Fuck off. Push pineapple shake a tree. Does it make sense? Push mine apple shake a tree. Push pineapple shake a tree. Aga do, do, do. I thought it was mine apple. As in, is this mine apple?

Is this? I don't know what I said that was. I think it's German. Mine apple. Oh no. It's not. Push pineapple. Shake a tree.

Aga-d-doo-doo-d-d-d. Gush pineapple off push. Push. Push-pineapple shake a tree. You're pushing a pineapple? Yeah, I think so. It doesn't make any sense. At least baby shark makes sense.

Push-pineapple. Right coffee. You don't even know the words. Left to the right. Don't let it die, but you're doing the words. Come on dance every night to the hula melody. The lovely beach in the sky.

Great. You don't even fucking know it. It's just a collection of bullshit. At least baby shark, makes sense. There's a baby shark, there's a mommy shark, there's a daddy shark,

there's a grander shark, there's a grandma shark. You know, they all run around and they're safe at last. What's your problem? Sorry, they swim around. They don't run around.

We're talking about. Guys, sorry. Let's go on. Let's crack on. I do have some interesting stuff to talk about. Great. All I was going to say is,

thank you so much for listening. So much for listening. Thank you very much. Thank you for watching. What would be a catchphrase again? If you're a... Fuck. If you're a new listener,

hello and welcome. if you're a I can't remember it or listener if you're a new listener but hello and welcome if you're a returner listener hello one thank you

I think that's what it was awful horrible in it right it is time for this week's lucrative lucidus sponsor this week's sponsor is my tour

in conjunction with because I'm packing for me two and I go on to her this week as you listen to this on Friday I'll be Darby and no not Darby I will be Ipswich

Friday night I've never been Ipswich. Nice place. Is it nice? Is it part or is it rough? It's the same as everywhere. Got its bits, got its bits, got its pieces. And then Ipswich and then what?

And then Stoke and then Liverpool this weekend. Sorry to anyone from Ipswich. I didn't mean to be rude. No, no, good gig. Really good gig. Oh, good. Always good down there. Norwich, Ipswich, that area.

Plitty lovely, I'm there for two days. Anyway, it's my tour, but it's in conjunction with the brand new game that I've invented while packing for your tour. Before you even slag it off, how good is this fucking game that was playing with the kids yesterday? The suitcase game Guys, it's the suitcase game Listen to this

I've invented the greatest game ever Right, you get a suitcase Be careful, health and safety Or something I'm not, I'm not Progoal warning to anybody who might know somebody Who died in a suitcase Wow Might be one of the most specific trigger warnings

Anyone's ever done So it's a big suitcase I can fit both my children in separately The take turns You put your child in the suitcase Nothing else in it you zip it up and you wheel them around,

lift them and get them into a room, right, into another room in your house and you put the suitcase down and you go, what room are you in? And they have to guess what room they're in by how much

you've moved them and stuff, but you can freak them out. You can, I go in circles, I pretended I was lift them down the stairs and back up the stairs. I walked in, right, sorry, this is very visual.

I walked in yesterday and Chris is literally like this, shh, right? And he's just, he's got this suitcase and he's just pretending to walk upstairs in the middle of the room,

I was like, what's happening? I don't like what Rafe's invented, though. Oh, so, yeah. So Rafe's added another element to the game where you're dragging him at the room, you put them in, and you go, right, what room are you in? And he'll say, you know, Robin's room. So you zip, you unzip the suitcase and you open it.

And the reveal is, he sits up and has to see where he is. And his end punctuation on the game is the loudest, most blood curdle and squeal you'll ever fucking hear. And you'll just stand up and, like, put his arms back. By the way, I watched them do it about six times yesterday. They've never got it right yet. Robin got one right. Did he?

Robin got one right. You got one right. And I went, how did you get it right? And he went, bro, I'm locked in. Like a golfer, like Scotty Sheffler. You're really thinking of where he's gone. I'm locked in. God, it's a good game.

Yeah. It's a fucking great game. I'm really proud of it. Oh, thank you. Oh, God, don't you cry. Jesus Christ. Oh, fuck, mate. It's not me kids so much.

I don't take the best of it. Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you. You know, he's went to the cinema the other night, without his, by the way. Went to the cinema to watch Spider-Man brand new day. The hype is real. One of the best movies I've ever seen in my life, not just a Marvel movie.

I cried, I laughed. I don't think we could take Rafe to a 12-A at the cinema. I think that's not, that's very brown-up. What? Fucking people in the cinema, right? First of all, it's a Marvel movie. The credits came on. Four or five people got up and left immediately.

I wanted to go fucking casual. Check yourself. I don't want to give anything away, but the whole point in the movie is that in the last one, Dr. Strange did the spell, so that now, spoiler alert, if you've never seen the one before.

Yeah, turn off. Spiral alert, if you've never seen No Way Home, I think it was, with Dr. Strange in as well. No one knows who Peter Parker is. No. Right? The spell. There's a moment in the film

where that is literally coming to a head with Peter Parker and a different character. It's literally like what you've been waiting for the entire film. It's in the middle of the film, and it's that three people got up and went to the toilet. He sits down and it's with another car, and it's like, okay, and they're basically... Was he young?

No. Oh. Imagine the movie was called, what's in the super secret box? And on the scene where they opened the super secret box, people fuck off to the toilet. I loudly went, imagine going to the toilet now.

Wow, okay. I heckled them while they're going to the toilet. I was furious. I know, but you know what? I've actually got a little bit of regret. And, you know, when you think back to your life, I remember I went to the cinema to say Titanic when I was like 12, just turned 12,

and made my mates were messing on and I thought, I'm ruining this film for people. And that was a really poignant film. Yes. I didn't watch it. I had to watch it again years later, because I missed on. I messed about.

I was on the seat. I was like crouching down. I was chucking popcorn off my mates. I was 12, Chris. I was not getting fingered. That was the 15. I don't think I've ever been fingered at the cinema well I've held a hand

do remember when I used to hold a hand and you'd just like literally be shitting yourself the whole time In the dark In the dark You're just a kid and like a boy would hold your hand And you'd just be like oh my god Oh my god I can't breathe I can't think about anything else Other than this boy hold my hand

I don't even want the films about Oh my god I don't want to get any popcorn because it's hold me hand Oh my god when they used to put the arm round you Also Yeah also dying but also I'm so uncomfortable like so uncomfortable. Scholiosis much.

Yeah, I know. That's why I've all got bad backs. We've had to sit awkwardly in the cinema. Yeah, God, isn't that memories, eh? Memories, yeah. That memories. What you're seeing before I start talking about. What I was going to say is you spent the cinema together

and you'd love a cry. And I said, you said to me, oh, it's so sad. Like you'll ball your eyes out. Like, it's really sad. And I was like, oh, I can't wait to watch it, bloody, bloody, bloody, blah. And then I said to Robin later, I went to dad cry and he went, yes I was like

Hey I love a cry It's lovely that you cry in front of your sons So that they know that it's fine To cry Because why the fuck not Thank you very much Yeah I think it's a lovely thing This was also sponsored in conjunction

With packing cubes Packing cubes It's Tetris for grownups I use patent for me too out I use packing cubes I fucking love them I know How are you never used them before

I don't know I've sacked them off I've sack them off Yeah, they're not your crack. They're not. They're very much invented for me. Yeah. Gym stuff, all in one bag, all in one cube.

Yeah. Golf stuff, all in one cube. Daytime travel way, all in one cube. Gig way, all in one cube. Can't look like that. I actually, listen, if you see me about traveling, I'm only going for a couple of days, but I've got all of the bags. Yeah.

Because now I, like, I just put my stuff on their hangers, curl them down inside my bag. Yeah. Yeah. It's made my, I swear to God. My life's a lot of space in your bags. It's, yeah, you go to bags for, but there's like both top corners.

Yeah. Obviously, because the coat hangers go down like a triangle. Yeah. Both top corners, absolutely. You could put a fucking football in these top corner. It's a game changer. Yeah. It's changed me life.

Genuinely change me life. I'm taking one big suitcase today and a smaller suitcase. And honestly, it's going to be annoying. I'm like, I'm going to look like another at the train station, but I don't care because I'm like, I'm going to get there and I'm just going to take these out and go like that and I'm done. It's fine, though, because someone will hilariously, when they say you with two suitcases will say,

just a short trip then is it? Even though they have no prior fucking knowledge of anything about your life at all. I know. And a man will try to help us because they always do, which I think is lovely, don't ever stop,

but also I'll say, no, thank you. Because I'm independent as fuck. Right. And I don't want to stop. We've had this conversation before. I think it is very gentlemanly, but save it for the oldies.

Ah, okay, here it is. So this is right, there it goes. So this is just a throwback of last week when someone thought you were our grandparent. No, I'm not talking about that. I'm just saying, I'm all right. How would you feel if you got on the train

and someone, a younger man, stood up and said, let me help you with them, madam. And you said, no, I'm fine, it's okay. And he went, no, no, come on. And you put them up for you. And then he went, oh, and have my seat. A lady of your age shouldn't be standing. What would you do?

I'd just say, thank you, young man. But I've booked me seat. But I've booked my seat. And I'm still bleeding. Oh, good. Yeah, that'll teach him. That'll teach him. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm not Perry. Yet. Great. It's crack, on it? Still wet as a whistle. Not as wet. Tampons are starting to hurt.

Stop. Stop it? Well, he asked. He said. He didn't. He didn't. He didn't. He didn't.

I can see him. We couldn't set along a jingle Jingo So this is the Jingo Jinggo We hope you like the Jinggo Jingo Babadoo Babadoo Babadoo Babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo

Bha-a-do babadoo ba Jingo Hello and welcome back And sorry for the really long intro Yes We've enjoyed myself I feel really good today I'm very glad

I sat down today to do this podcast And I was like I'm genuinely looking forward to it Isn't that good? Well we do have a nice laugh do It's really, really nice. Maybe I've just, maybe my work ethics just got a bit better after having a bit time off. We've had a nice summer.

Lovely summer. I'm ready for it. I'm ready for it. Back at it. Like I say, I go back on tour this week. Special shout out, by the way, to Derby Hull, Plymouth and Blackpool. Pull your fucking fingers out. So they're not sold very well.

They have big rooms. Oh, guys, come on. Blackpool's fucking massive. How big? I don't know, but it, it, I've sold well over a thousand, but it still looks like it needs to really have a kick up the odds. But I'm happy to go and perform. Come on, Blackpool, come on. Hold, listen, Hull, I'm speaking specifically to Hull here,

on the last leg of the tour, I got so much fucking shit because I hadn't added a date in Hull. And I've added one, pull your fingers out. Don't care. Yeah, but it's all good. I'm really looking forward to going back out with the show. Genuinely, and you know I don't bullshit,

and you know I'm probably your worst critic ever. Great, thank you. It's a really good show. It's your best show you've ever done. Thank you. That's why I want to go out again. Do it again. Very excited.

Plus, I'm taking me golf clubs. a lot of golf during the day so it's gonna be great. It's just gonna be great. Chris. What? I've ate like half a cabbage. Yes. Stupid. Why exactly? Like I'm ill. No, as never has anyone said,

oh my God, I've ate half a cabbage. Half a cabbage. Does it bloat you? I don't know what it's doing, but it's don't great. You'd be pumping well later on. I will, yeah. Great. Glad you're on a train. But that's what I do when I'm trying to be good. I've had a very, very generous summer.

Haven't we? We have ate and drank whatever we've wanted. Like kings. Yeah, I've just thought, fucking, I've had a lovely time. But now I'm back to eating healthy. And sometimes, I mean, mine goes a bit mad. You know, and you're like, what should I eat what's healthy? And I just seen a cabbage and I thought, oh, I'll have a half a cabbage with the leftover lasagna from last night.

I've never do that. I've just seen a cabbage, I'll have a cabbage. No chance. You had the lasagna? I did. But there is bolognaise sauce left for you. You can have bolognais. Oh, is it still bolognais?

Yeah. There's your tea. There's yours and the kid's tea sorted. Yeah, no. I'm going to get them. Um, just sweet. Because you're away. When you're away,

why you're, why I just, why I just, when you're away, they just get sweet. Just sweet. They have pizza, but it's the jelly pizza.

All right, okay. Yeah, massive ones. Brilliant. Massive ones that you're getting asked. Just, just so I'm the favourite. I've got a gripe with the world.

Great. I watched, um, all her fault. I've been watching it for about six months on and off. I've got, I've got about nine series going on at the minute and like, it's just how I live. It's horrible.

I don't know. Just horrible. But I watch a couple, then I go, I'll go back to it. It was actually really good. But it happened again. It happens on everything.

I'm really fucking, I'm sick and tired of these stupid TV programs that are like thrillers and a child gets kidnapped, right? Okay, spoiler alert. If you haven't seen it, don't listen to the next minute. God Almighty. He comes back. The night he comes back, right, he's been missing.

He's been kidnapped, right? He's five years old. In one of the scenes, the parents are like, we'll never let him out of a sight. That night, he comes back. What bed did they put him in, Chris? What bed did they put him in? I don't know.

In his own fucking bed in his own room? Ah, right, okay, I get you. In what world? Into the West Wing you go. I get it. Oh and it's a massive house. Yeah. It's a massive house.

It's not like a three-bed little semi. It's a huge, gargantuan mansion. American mansion, yeah. I just don't understand. I don't understand why they're like, he's been missing for days. No, weeks, whatever. And then he's back and you just put him in his own room.

And she was looking for a baby one. I was like, how about you just let them in your bed? You're fucking bitch? Sorry, I just blows my mind. Yeah, and I'm like... How long was he kidnapped for? Like a couple of weeks. Jesus Christ.

Yeah, let me in your bed. Wasn't a few hours? You'd think the writers would go, hard on a second. Do you think the parents would probably just go come in our bed? I don't know. But then they're probably having them. We've just found our child sex

like they do on every TV show. Oh, God. Oh, my God. Because that's another unrealistic thing. So apologies for all the people out here who just fuck like all the time. But when it's like, he's being away at work, he walks in the door, we just have sex immediately. We've had an argument. We have sex immediately. Make up sex.

Doesn't exist. I'm not having it. I'm not having it. If we are not speaking, I do not want to have sex with you. I don't even want to look. I don't want you to touch us. Remember, there's been times we want arguing and you give us a hug and I'm like, God offers. I don't understand makeup sex.

Never been a thing. But yeah, like, troll my sex. Yeah. Troma sex. Like, oh my God. What child's got missing? Let's, let's have sex. Like, what?

What? Are you joking? I just think it's probably written by young single childless people. Young single, childless cool people who don't understand. And they're like, yeah, these people have me, he's got a dick, she's got a vagina, they probably just have sex now. Yeah. I well, honestly, I think we should write one.

I think we should write one because if my five-year-old got kidnapped for three weeks, he'd be sleeping in my bed until he was 21. Yeah. I'm not even joking, like literally. He'd be like, Mom, I'm going to college. I'd go, you're fucking not. College, what are we, American? Uni.

Mom, I'm going to stay at the holes. You'll be wearing your apple tag at all times. I love that apple tag that I've inserted into your skin. Just, oh yeah, put him in his own room. Shut up. Lost us then. Get us. And I think it's because the people who write it

think that everyone's stupid. So they're like, but if he's in their bedroom, they'll not recognize it as a child's bedroom. And they'll go, oh, he's missing again. Yeah, visually the one. That's why the one. That's why they've done it. But me as a mother,

I'm like, I get it? I get it. I get it. I feel the same when I see someone, annoyingly it is, you can't really tell that much

with blocs, but when you see a TV show or drama or something and they wake up in the morning and they are fully done up. Oh yeah. Ridiculous. How am I?

I know. Fucking no one looks like that when they're all out of bed. Oh no. Please. I know. It's ridiculous. But sorry,

I'm just in my brain getting angry I think I mentioned this when I watched it This is where it's come from. That documentary I watched where that lass got taken from a bedroom like they literally put like a hole in the screen

kidnapped her and then that same night after she'd gone missing the sister who shared a room with her was like and I just couldn't sleep what in the same room where his sister was kidnapped from the night before

your mom and dad thought oh well well we've taped that hole up what the fault she was like and I just could not get her a wink of sleep.

I would have a sleep again. We were talking yesterday with my mom's for dinner and we're talking when we're a little about the man, bless him, who escaped from... I didn't know this story. Oh, so...

This is a wild story. I'm just gonna move you off. What would you call it? The mental health facility? There's a... Yeah, there's a mental health facility near where we live. And I didn't know this story.

You told me this yesterday. And some guy had escaped when you were children. You were sitting watching the big... breakfast yeah on a like school morning and someone

in a fucking gown why did he come to our house no idea the seventh house on the row maybe he was I don't know so yeah so he was like he came to the window we were watching

the morning deli I shouldn't laugh it's so it was Chris so okay this is where this is why we're different right he literally came in the window and he's like

help me banging on the window right in these gown he had the bracelet on with these literally we were just like tag hospital

was screaming, right? Like, Mom! And he's like, help, help me! Horrible, right? And then my memory, he went off and there was about four people chasing him. Like doctors in full, like gowns and that, and they were chasing him.

And I remember he was in the road running like something, like, do you know, 20, like the days later when it's just nobody there, it was just mourning. And they're all running after him. But that night, do you honestly think any of us, had a good sleep. Like, we were,

we probably were all in my mom and dad's bed. Because, well, actually, and he only just knocked on the window. And he just knocked on the window. I didn't remember being that traumatized, but Kate, Kate was like, I was so traumatized.

Kate, I held on at that. That's, that's kids. Yeah, Caitlin. Kieler. Hey, good times. Soed that right into the fabric of a personality. Yeah, good times. But yeah, why the fuck did he bang on our window?

Mental. We're chatting about some stuff that happened when we're kids, and it was just, it was a crazy house. Very good. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadu, ba. Speaking of crazy house, I, uh, our five-year-old has, um, he's cut me deep.

He's cut me deep. He's really upset us. So I remember talking about on the podcast, when Robin got about five or six, Robin started getting really annoyed by me farts. Mm-hmm. I remember I was heartbroken because he was like, he was like, daddy,

you fart stink, I hate the kind of thing, whereas Littland's thing. they're funny. Now, Raff's fine with farts. He's not bothered by them at all. You just laughs. Have you... Does he ever say that you stink

while you're brushing his teeth? Like your breath? Yeah. He said it in the morning before. Like, ma'am, you stink. So to the point of way, I don't know what it is, because it was really hurtful this morning

because I had brushed my teeth and used mouthwash, so I don't know what the fuck was going on. So I'm brushing his teeth and he's literally, he got his mouth open and I'm good, because, yes, he's all under to brush his teeth himself and he does sometimes,

but now and then I'm like, I'm going to do it, so I'll do the full two minutes and give him a part of brush because fuck knows what you're doing. So him, not you. So I'm brushing his teeth. I meant him, not you. So I'm brushing his teeth, right? And he goes like, he's got his mouth open.

He goes, oh, oh! And he like grabs his nose. He's, uh, so he's devised a system now because obviously I have to speak. God, how bad is it? I don't know. It doesn't do this for me. So when I say, and I'm not a smelly, I don't have smelly breath. I'm not, you know, we hate that kind of thing.

Yeah. You know I would. So he's devised. It's really hurtful. He's devised the system now. So normally I'll say bite or open wide, right? You know what I mean? If he bites, if you say sometimes cheese,

sometimes cheese or bite or open wide a thing. Okay. So he's now devised, well, he's devised a system now where he said, basically, if I want him to open his mouth, and this works for obviously everyone watching on YouTube, but I'll explain, I'll do it first do then. I'll bring one of this.

If I want to open his mouth, I've got to do that. Okay. So what I'm doing, guys, is like opening mouth, like as if my hands are mouth, as if my hands are mouth like a cocked ass, I've got to do that. And if I want him to shut his mouth, I've got to do that.

So you can't speak? I'm not allowed to talk to them. I have to breathe out with my nose, which apparently still smells, and I'm not allowed to speak to him. And when he brushes, I have to do that and close my hands and he closes his mouth

and then, and he won't, and it's, it's not a good way to start your day, especially when you've already brushed your teeth. He gets really annoyed at me. He just hates getting his teeth, but he gets annoyed at me

because I go, ah, and he goes, ah! So passive aggressive. Babadoo, babadoo, babo, babo, ba. Hey, do you want to feel old? No. Yeah, you do.

After last week? Not got a better one. This is for everyone. Everyone out there. Any millennial out there, or even, maybe even a little bit of the next generation as well. And obviously the generation above that. Guess what? Can you name them?

Guess what? Is it Gen Z after us? Gen Z's after us. Boomazar two above us. Gen. Gen X are the ones above us. They're one above us. Gen X, I think.

Anyway, look, look, if you're wrong about our age, listen to this. Okay. The last remaining blockbuster store, in the world, hosts school field trips for first graders learning what life was like when their parents and grandparents were growing up. It's in Oregon and their visits, on their visits, they learn about physical media under the Rewind Rule. It's happened. It's happened. Do you know we are? We're the 70s?

Yeah. Where the fucking 70s? It's worse. This is worse than when, um, this is worse than when. I saw that Xbox in that museum in Edinburgh. This is worse than I saw that Xbox. Yeah, because if you gave our children a videotape, they would know what the fuck was going on. What is this?

Even a CD, they don't know what CDs are. I remember, I remember going to Blockbuster. I know. I drove to Blockbuster. I had a car. So I'm 17, 18, 19. I'm driving to Blockbuster and renting videos and venting DVD, sorry. One of the best days of my week was

I was more of a global Global Video Girl I was global for a bit I was just a local one Dodgy local one which I'm sure I did porn if you asked and then I was Global and then I was Blockbuster

Yeah I like Global because you remember Global used to do the fucking Them hard blue sleeves Yeah Blue plastic And it felt really And then you could just drop it off

In the little bit In the little envelope thing At the front of the thing Yeah And the popcorn was lovely Yeah But yeah Good time

Absolutely devastating. Good times. Babadoo, Babadoo, Babadu, babadoo. It's time for, what's your beef? What's your beef with me, bitch. Ladies first? Yeah, do you want me to do? It's actually not that bad.

I'm going to wait in London today for work. And it's just a bit upsetting and frustrating that when I go away for work, because you're also going to wait tomorrow, so we're going to be meeting each other in London. I just have to do everything you go to work you don't do anything for the kids

or like you don't sort out their uniforms the swimming kits like make sure that everything's labelled leaving notes for me mom to make sure everything's done checking that home and like it's just I just do all of the

all of the adven I've got our own jobs I've said this before we've got our own jobs we've got our own things oh why did you look at you look at it you're looking at us horribly. Because one happened yesterday.

We were... That's what I'm saying. It's not that bad because... But okay, do you know what I find upsetting? You're very much the more hands-on. Like, I know for a fact, you're like, we've got own jobs and you're like, I take Robin to the...

Like, maybe is I want to do that? Maybe I want to be the hands-on one and you can do the mental... Why don't we swap? So, a swap of that nature only can occur when both parties want to swap their thing. if you just want to do the driving and that you just have to add that onto your pile if I don't

want to take your stuff off you. That's just the rules that's how it works. I'm afraid. It's the most stupidest, ridiculous thing you ever said. Honestly, any woman, any mother listen will hate you now. So well done. Why don't we... No, let's swap. Let's swap for a month. No. I don't like doing stuff like that.

Neither do I. I do not have, no. That little label thing that you do, that you have joy on your face when I see you sticking a little label and a pair little swimming shorts I've never seen you happier. It's unbelievable.

The mental load, it's too much. Okay. It's not fair. But it's not fair that you get to go to work and just be like, bye, family, goodbye. I'll go to work and I'm like, have I done this, have I done that? Have I emailed this?

It's just... Yeah. We've got my jobs. We've got my jobs. And they're just not my jobs. I'm afraid. I'm so sorry. Wow, okay.

It's just nothing I can do. Honestly, I wish I could do something, but my hands are tied. Are you deliberately being? I'm delivery of beating you. I'm sorry, I'm delivering. It's horrendous. Listen, my beef with you is...

We'll get back to that in a late at a date by the way, because I'm not... Great. You have... You have somehow... I don't know how you did it because I've resisted it for so long, but you've somehow got me on

the true crime bandwagon of watching... Like, horrific, horrific fucking things. Yeah. For entertainment. Vile! You sit there, mouth of gulp. Honestly.

Loving every second. Yeah, but it's sometimes, like, I didn't even, we watched, so what, watched, watched, a Mormon one.

Oh, the first one. Oh, God. FLDs. Yeah, it's not a Mormon one. It's the fundamental, it's the fundamentalist Mormon one.

It's not a Mormon one. It's a fundamental, it's a fundamental. It's a FLDS. Which, by the way, I mean, horrible. Whoever did the fucking acronym for that.

It's the worst fucking acronym acronym in the world. So they're called like, it's something like, FLDS, but the F. stands for six or seven words and then the LDS

as Latter-day Saints. It's like fundamentalist... It's like, yeah, it's like fundamentalist followers of the Church of Jesus Christ, Laturday Saints. So it's worst acronym in the world. But I'll be honest with you. It's not the main problem with them.

Anyway, we are watching, we, you had me watching the most disgusting, just awful, awful reports of these people having these, just horrible lives. And then, it finished. And yes, I did enjoy it, before I even got a chance to ask what was going on,

you'd just quickly put another one on and it was about someone who came into a room and murdered all these people. Oh, the Idaho massacre. Fucking hell. But it was like... It was actually quite recent. Yeah. And then we'll go to bed and you're like, Chris, are all the doors locked?

And I'm like, ah, I wonder why you're terrified of all the doors not being locked? Because for fun, you watch fucking murder porn. You're a psycho. No, I'm away. And I'm just... Yeah, no, it's a massive. red flag. I think it's a psychopath trait. No, it's a red flag and they said

recently if you're dating someone and they love true crime, it's a massive red flag. But yeah. What are you going to do? I don't know. Just maybe, honestly. Yeah, but okay, right, what would you, right? Listen to this, okay? You know these people.

We all know these people. Okay, men and women who go about life, just fucking no idea. Don't know what's going on. Either would do. that. Yeah. Dead.

Yeah. Dead. Dead. Me. You see me walking down the street. I'm not, I'm fucking, I'm not listening to you. I'm watching my surroundings. I've got my keys in my hand ready to stab a bitch.

Like, I'm sorry. No. I'm the one you want to be with. I'm keeping work alive. I know exactly what's going on at all times. And when I'm around people who don't, I can't bear it. I know what you mean. People who aren't...

Could you... Stop, shut up. Yeah. Pay attention to the dangers around you. Because I'm not... I'm saving myself. I'm not saving you. Yeah.

Be away. I always watch me drink. Sometimes you're like... You know when I go out? You're like, be careful. And I'm like, mate, are you fucking... Are you joking? I've been careful.

Fair enough. I've probably... Yeah. But I mean, walking through London with you is hard fucking work. I can't answer my phone. I can't answer my phone. I can't look on a map.

It's like, Chris, if you're gonna look on a map, stand in a doorway with your back of the street and put your bag over your head and your coat under your chin. Yeah. Because I ain't getting robbed.

I ain't getting mugged. Yeah. No. Sorry. Yeah. It's not happening. So yeah, so I watch them.

I know what's going on. I'm very away. So try it. Fine. Can't argue with that. Can't be asked. Could you rather Scott a brain.

No, I would just rather maybe watch, you know, something that isn't about killings and kidnappings all the time. Maybe just watch.

We'll have. Housewives? Summer House. Fair enough. Do you know, I watch it all. Okay. Below deck, like, dramatic, but in a very different way. Below deck where they kept their bodies. I love it, so I don't care. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadu, bah. It's time for questions from the public.

Questions of the public, public. Popapapapha, pop, papap, papap, papap, papup, papap, pub. As always, if you like, can get a touch at shagmarynoid.g, gmail.com for an email or for a voice note, it's 07874, 406665. Firstly, just want to say everybody listening, we'll love you so much. Yes. Like, we introduce a new feature on this show. You want to know that everyone's getting in touch.

Oh, amazing. Giving their bits. Yeah. Doing their stuff. Is this your new, incredibly catchy titled, stuff that you say, that's about, that sayings, that's about other people that they don't know about? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Great. Loads people have sent them in. That's basically all we're going to do for questions. Fantastic. Fantastic. I had a, I had a story about. like a cum tissue and a dog I'm not even doing it oh I might do it at the end

um but that look forward to um speaking of dogs do remember this is the saying that from our life that we did for years we haven't done for a while right do you remember um that better not be my oh my god and you would remember some that better not be my dog to anyone who doesn't know we were walking back from the pub once when we were when we're single i didn't have kids we'll walk back from the pub. Out of a dog, you mean? Out of dark, yeah. And there was a lady walking,

she was also walking back from the pub. And her kids must have been in the house looking after the dog. And the dog ran out of the road and a car beeped at the dog. And she just read, that better not be my dog! Fucking great.

She didn't look like she was going to sound like that. No, that was the funniest. She looked well dressed, dare I say, quite an attractive lady. And she just went, that better not be my dick. Fucking great. Beautiful.

Beautiful. I forgot about that. Okay, we've got a couple of voice notes. Daisy's starred these ones as our favourite. Come on, Daisy. Hello, I've got a what do other people I'm saying is about people that they don't know for you. One time me and my husband

walking along the streets of Cambridge and laughing a bit about how posh everything is. And then these two lads were coming towards us looking like the most Cambridge stereotype boys you've ever seen in your life. Like it was Quentin and Tarquin, you know the sort. And we just, as they passed us, we caught the tail end of their conversation.

And one of them just goes to the other mate I have got so many ladybirds I just wonder how many ladybirds that boy has got for the rest of my life and where's he keeping his ladybirds

where are the ladybirds why's he got so many ladybirds fucking great I got so many ladybirds so many ladybirds oh that is beautiful that's so weird

I just watched a clip from the new Saturday Night Live, the British one. And they did like a pistake of Maid in Chelsea and it's so funny. Brilliant. It's really good. And that would be good. I've got so many leather beds.

I've got so many ladybirds. Oh God. How did you have a half-liver? He's talking about women, isn't he? I'm not sure. You might be talking about actual ladybirds. You don't know. Are there lady birds or lady bugs?

Ladybirds here, lady bugs in America. Okay, I've wanted to know that for years. Okay, ladybirds. Salmonileadabats. That's what I'm my favourite ones. I love over hearing little bits of people's like. I've definitely told you about when Carl Hutchinson came out of ASDA and there was two lads sitting eating donuts.

You know that, don't you? No. Hang on. Stop the press. You don't know this. The Carl Hutchinson story that I've never heard. Are you sure? Doesn't ring a bell.

Come on. I'm ready. We talk about it all the time. So Carl's walking out of ASDA, one in Gosforth. Nice. It's a nice ASDA. Yeah. And there's two lads sitting.

like, you know, like sort of, you know, track suits, caps just sitting there on this little wall outside of it. And each of them have got like a whoopsie, going out of day to day, pack of 12 donuts each. Amazing. Okay. I'm invested.

And they're eating the donuts and they're both, like, eating them. And Carl walks past, and one of them goes the other one. They rank these, like, on the... And the other one goes... I just get them down you though

and we don't to this day we don't know why but they're just I don't know they just needed it they're just getting so there must have been like you know 25 pence each or something

one at the they're just fucking scranning them oh nah or they rank these just get them down you man and he's just just inexplicably shoveling roopsie donus down the fate

and I don't I remember he told us And it's one of them ones that I was annoyed that he told us because I want to know so badly why they needed to eat them donuts. I think that either had loads to drink or that had drugs and they needed something in them. Right, okay. Maybe. But I rank these like, and I just get them down you.

No, I've never heard that before. It's beautiful. Fucking throwing them down their necks. Just on the wall outside. Just got it. Oh, I enjoyed that a lot. Right, hang on. Wait, we've got another one here.

Can I just say I love the voice. Please keep them coming. It's so lovely to hear your voices. I know me too. You too. I'm sorry, little bit. Sonny little beds. Hi, Chris and Rosie. American here. I just finished listening to this week's episode where y'all were talking about sayings you have for other people that you say to each other or whatever it's called.

And my partner and I were hiking in the desert one time and this British man came up to us and he didn't have any water in the desert and he said to us desert and he said to us, do you have any water? I've got each stroke and my partner and I quote that to each other all the time. I've got heat stroke. Not to make fun of y'all's

accents. Do you have any water? I've got eight stroke. It's a fucking Russell Brand. I've got eight stroke at now. That's wonderful. That's great. I've just remembered another one of an American one years ago.

Somebody, my old group of friends when I was a kid that all went to uni at Leeds and one of the girls she was called Rendy and she just didn't reduce her up. She was like, my name is Randy, it's like Wendy with an R. I've heard you say that loads of times. My name's Rendy, it's Wendy with an R.

My name is Randy, it's like Wendy with an R. Oh, Randy. Funny, oh God. Got a stroke. Fantastic. Beautiful. It's great. Thank you for them. Yeah.

Babadoo, babadoo, babadu, babadu, ba. In Toronto, every arrival is a statement, and nothing says it better than this. Cadillac Optic was the number one selling luxury EV in Canada for 2025. Find your rhythm across a seamless 33-inch display and an immersive 19-speaker AKG surround audio system. This city demands agility, and Optic delivers with precision to make every drive extraordinary.

Let's take the Cadillac. Find out more at Cadillac Canada.ca.ca. Luxury sales claim based on S&P Global Mobility Canadian new vehicle total registrations for calendar year 2025 for the Cadillac definition of luxury. When WestJet first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion, inline skates were everywhere, and two out of three women rocked, the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board.

Here's to WestJetting since 96. Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at westjet.com slash 30 years. Babadoo, Babadoo, Babadu, ba. Hi, Chris and Rosie. Very long listener from back in the COVID-day's first-time messenger. Hello. Hi. You asked about quotes that are in families that no one else would understand.

That's actually quite a nice one. That's a nice that one. We will come up with me. I feel like they're not using enough words. No. No. We were out in the car on our way to Colomony. Clom-M-A-N-Y in County Dunagle in Ireland.

Don Eagle. Sorry. Don Eagle. Do believe it's Donigold. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Oh, I hate it when people mispronounced places. I'm so sorry. Yeah, sorry everyone. That was awful to listen to what Irish listeners. Anyway, right, they're in Ireland. They're down narrow country roads in our Dacia Duster.

Stop, just a car. Just say car. Why don't you read them then? Right, in their car. We met a woman. Kind of call, is it? Well, you'll find out. Yeah. met a woman coming towards us in her big, brand new range rover,

and she could not drive. Right. Okay, bad driver. We pulled in and tried to let her pass, but she got very upset with us and rolled her window down and shouted at us, I paid for this car, you know! And drove off. Now, if we happen to come across Road Ridge, our 10-year-old and 7-year-old,

raw from the back, we paid for this car, you know! And that's, uh, Shanade, Finn, who are 10, and Ruby, seven. Thank you so much for that. Wonderful. But I actually, listen, as a range rover owner, thank you very much, and I always say this to you, don't know? Men hate me

in my range rover. They fucking hate me. It's because I know that I bought you. They didn't see husbands. So I'm going to actually, I'm going to coin this phrase myself. And the next man that gives me any shit while I'm driving my range rover, I'm going to wind the window down and go,

I pay for this guy, you know? You're convinced. Vince that all men who give you any kind of look in the Range Rover think that I've, they think I'm just in your husband's car. Some footballer's wife or something like that. Rosie. Come on.

Retired footballer. Retired footballer's wife. Are you taking, no. You see in the football? Rosie, I drive past the sun's an academy man now and then, when I'm up and now in that neck of the woods. They're like fucking children, man. Some of them don't, one of those pulling in a sports car.

I did. Not old enough to drive. I know. They are children. Unbelievable. All right then, well, not footballers,

they think, they basically think you... Football manager's wife. Yeah. Football manager's wife. Yeah. Sponsor. Yeah.

I married somebody who really invested and really worked hard with a few GCSAs that they had and they now have this massive company and they sponsor them. I'm married to them

and I'm driving around in his range over and everyone hears of... You were his first wife. You were his first wife and he's... He's left him in the divorce but he's left him from much younger,

much younger ago. someone who doesn't get called a grandma at weddings he's left you, you're gone, old news me raid drover is 10 years old yeah, but people still hate it, I got it in the divorce it's yours, yeah, but in real life that's what people think, in real life I bought my car with my money

I paid for this car you know I pay for this car you know sorry that's what I'm going to start saying babado babadoo babadoo babadoo bao da Hi Rosie and Chris An entry for the catchy new segment In my They forgot what it was called

In my local pub There was a regular That would prop up the bar Drinking Whiskey And he gave me and a friend Two Sayings that we still use At least 10 years later The guy has since passed

But coined two phrases That I'll never forget Note that this pub is in Musselbur Borg Musselbur Musselbrough Musselbrough

Yeah So time for a rosy Scottish Accent Hockey The Duh! And you know what's really upset recently was at the Edinburgh fringe Not one fucking Scottish person

Yeah Where are all the Scottish people They don't fuck off They go for the first weekend You get all the Scottish in On the first weekend And then they just fucking leave I don't blame them

Okay All right ready Once when I stood next to him At the urinal trough He drunkenly said Nothing better than a peshe So of course We repeat that whenever

Going for away in a pub you've got a better you do it in your Scottish accent nothing better than a push oh god Kevin Brits you're Kevin Bridges you've just listened to Kevin Bridges for too long It is a jagged yeah

I just Right ready An empty He also once asked why we were sitting in a small town pub And said we should be Up the Turn Shaggin' away which has been repeated loads since whenever anyone is talking

about having a big night out oh I love that I tell you what right in this because I go on tour this week in the spirit of the going on tour I'll give you a couple from the tour actually okay come on I'll know these you will know them

do you think I could finish them oh here we go because I've told them before okay there we go right me and Carl are in a service station where you are walking into the service station toilets there is a man in work gear walking out with his friend he's quite distraught he says this to his friend and we can't believe it I don't know it's a complaint I don't know that one oh no I'm so sad he's walking out with his mate and we just heard him go to his mate I still can't piss I don't know that one fucking lost it

we talk about it for days okay I thought you were going to do more, more, there's loads of their ones. I'll give you one. I'll give you one. But yeah, I still,

I still, I still walk past one on the way and we were walking in. I still, I still can't piss. That's what he said. We fucking couldn't believe it. Um,

okay. Uh, we are in a service station again. Um, there is a KFC. I don't want a pack a ham. No, that's a different one.

That's a different one. That's what I said to call. Yeah. Call asked me at three o'clock the morning if I wanted to pack a ham. And I went, no, I don't want to pack a ham.

And everyone said pack a ham plant. We are in a service station. The KFC. The shutters are down, half down on the KFC. The staff are in. It's not open yet. There was a man standing with his wife. What does he say?

Should have went to Burger King. Close. Oh, come on. Very close. Oh, no. This wouldn't happen to Burger King. He looked at the shutters. And he looked at the sign that said what time it opened.

And he went, close. Staff 12. And he turned his wife He went Oh, I'm a burger king We've fucking fucking lost it And he was to think A burger king

But one more Do I have another one? I don't know if I've got another one You know On the top of my head Fair enough Oh So once you won't know this one

Once we're trying to get a late Checkout sorry And this bloke was standing there And we were like Is any chance what you're getting And we said late And he went I can't

I can't And he was shaking his head I can't And we'll go, well, is there anyone? You can't, I can't. And you just wouldn't. So for ages, when someone asked you for something that you didn't want to get, you just car, we'll go, can you move that?

I can't. I can't. I can't. Fuck, I'm on. The ponchy's head. Right, carry on. Well, we did that for, we did that for years after we watched that program about, like, Frantonstein.

Yes. Or Penny Dreadful. Penny Dreadful. Yes. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Anytime one of the Caratel said, yes, he'd go, yes. And also, this has been our full marriage.

Restaurant. Gordon Ramsey. Restaurant. Restaurant. Restaurant. There's loads. Restaurant. There's loads.

Great. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. Right, listen. A few months after my separation, I decided to delve into the world of online dating apps. Love, love one of these. Love this. And I feel really terrible.

Do you know I went to see Jess Fuchs at Edinburgh, which is a stand-up comedian. It's so funny. Australian. Absolutely brilliant, loved our show. It was really, really good. And she was talking about dating apps. And she's obviously got like, she's 30, so I'm 10 years older.

And she was like in the room, like, who's used dating apps? You were like, yeah, who hasn't? And I was like, woo. And she's like, what do you mean? You've never used them? And I was like, oh, but I mean, horribly, I went, oh, I'm married. She was like, all right, fucking show off. But I was like, no, they weren't, when we got married,

there weren't a big thing. When I was single, dating apps weren't a thing. It was a really odd thing, a date and nap. Yeah. But they've obviously come a long way in the last 12 years. They're now how it's done. Yeah. So, but I just was like, I sounded like such a day.

I'm really, really, really glad I missed the dating app thing. Oh, yeah? I'm really glad I missed it. Why? I don't know. I just feel, I just don't think it would have been good for me. I, in a way, though, I think they're better because the way you met people before was like having a kiss and then. Yeah, yeah.

And then standing back and going, am I actually. Not saying they're bad for people. I'm just saying I don't. think it would have been good for me. Why? Don't know. Mental health ones. Yeah, I just think it would have been a bit like,

be like fucking Pokemon, go, man. I'd have got obsessed. What, like, finding people. Like, swiping, oh, yeah, there's a better one. Swipe. Oh, no, there's a better one. Yeah, I just think. Oh, what, like women are commodities?

Yeah. No, things. Not commodities, things. Stop. Possessions. I know you're joking. I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

You're so pussy whipped in this relationship. you come on here. It's the same when people are at the house. Yeah. It's ridiculous the way you go on. Yeah. Speak to me like a piece of shit. And I'm like, I say it everyone.

I'm like, this is wild because you crawl on my backside 24-7. As soon as you've got an audience, you're a dick. Yeah. It's kind of my brand. It's fucking weird as far as funny. Listen, shut up. Delving in the words of date andaps. Yeah.

I was chatting with an, and I feel like this is something that would happen to me. I was chatting with a nice guy for a while. and we came to a mutual agreement that we would meet up just for a bit of no strings fun, no drama. Mutual agreement for that? Mutual?

Adults. Plutty enjoy yourselves, kids. You know what I mean? Honestly. We've been to my place a few times but before our last meeting he explained that he may have to cancel because his cat was ill

and the vet said she shouldn't be left alone. Now, listen, this may be ickworthy, it's worthy to many, but I was understanding. I'm an animal lover after all. So she's like, I like cats. Your cat's not very well.

Like, you've got to allow for some stuff. Uh-huh. I don't believe it. I find it to be an excuse. I think cats are quite independent, but carry on. Who knows? He then suggested that I come to his house, because the cat's not well.

Oh, I come to see me sick cat, yeah, yeah. Sexy. A cat cough all over here. Cat cough. That actually sounded like a cat coughing. Great. No, no, didn't. As I didn't drive,

he offered to pick me up and said he would drop me off afterwards. Right. For context, he lived about 20 to 30 minutes drive from me in a different city. Leaving the cat alone for an hour then. Is he? Oh no. Oh no. The time comes.

Oh, God. Come on then. I'll still caught, but... I still can't piss. The time comes and I get a text to say he's outside. I walk towards his car and noticed something in the front seat. He brought the cat, Chris. comfortable in its cage in the front seat.

So here I am travelling down the road on our way to a booty call in the back seat of his car. No, no, he put her in the back. When I say this is an ick, it's me, I'm the ick. I'm a grown-ass woman in her 30s sat in the back seat of a three-door car, so I had to climb behind the driver's seat to get in while this cat... While his cat is pride of place next to him. And it's just carried on. She says, I have cats.

I'm sure it would have been okay during that time and I would have been perfectly okay with cancelling if he felt he couldn't be away from his precious kitty Wow In case you're wondering They're still shagged him Outrageous After we finished the deed

He packed the cat Back up in our little cage Shot me in the back of his car And drove me home again Didn't see him again after that Fucking demoralising That is so bad Why couldn't the cat have gone in the back

Because it's a three door and it's obviously a big cage Why couldn't he left the cat at home in the cage? It's an hour he's told the vet said he can't look it all checks out now i'm sorry that i honestly i doubted the guy he's a hundred percent he's he's tell the truth here but you put the my mate took me for what i've got honestly yeah okay he really likes her he did but he's fucking ruined it hadn't he kind of but me when i was single i'd be like he really likes me because he's drove all this way with his cat for a shark that yeah yeah okay but me point out of

went, my mate took us for a curry last night. We had a couple of beers and then he didn't drink. He took it and I had to climb in the back of a three door. And it's a fucking nightmare climbing the back of a three door. So you can't, if it's a big square case, big square cage, you'll not be able to get it in. So, yeah. He really likes her though.

Yeah, but she sat in the back. She sat in the back while a ill cat. I mean, I can't imagine what smells or noises this cat was given off on a 30 minute drive for a shag and then pack the cat back up for 30 minutes. Why couldn't she stay over? Because cat's not well. Well, he's got to take the cat hospital in the middle of the night. Oh no.

Do you want to hear something rogue? Are we going to lose listeners? Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. Because we know, we know, like, everyone... I wouldn't have gone out with someone who's got a cat.

Yeah. Someone prefers cats or dogs. I haven't said this on here, actually. You famously recently said, I wrote it down. I've never found a way to crowbar it in when I'm going to crowbar in. No, am I going to get cancelled? No, no. It's so stupid.

It makes sense, which annoyed us. I hate it when you do this. I hate it when you say something so stupid that it makes sense. Obviously, everyone out there, some people prefer a cat, some people prefer a dog. It's the fucking Taylor's oldest time. Congratulations. I would never treat that like I'm saying. I would never wish ill will to a cat.

Of course not. I just, I'm not a fan of them. And I, again, when we had Russell Kane on, please get me anonymous, his fucking cats, what incredible. The best cats ever met, and Carl's old cat was lovely. I've met some nice ones. I've met some lovely cats, but listen, right? Met some horrible. You said, we were talking about getting a dog or a cat.

Can you remember why you said you wouldn't get a cat? And it wasn't that they climb all of your benches. or that they, you know, they bring mice in or they just fuck off out your house for a while. Can you remember the reason you gave? What I found so stupid, then it almost made sense a bit when I thought about it. No.

Cats never smile. They don't. They never look happy. How do you know a cat's happy? How do you know cats happy? Like, oh, do the purr in that? I don't know. Yeah, the purr.

Okay. No, I need visual cues. Dogs don't smile. Oh, the look and buzzing, though. Oh, whatever. No, don't... And the tails... No, that's what I need.

I can't do... No, no, thank you. I don't think... I don't think your personality suits a cat. No. But can I tell you right now, if we've got one, I would bloody love it. Like, this is the thing.

I would. I would. I become attached to things. But I just... I don't like how independent they are. I need to be needed. That's why I need a dog. I need a dog to be obsessed with it. I need my kids to need us.

Yeah. A cat would just be like, fuck you, you fat bitch. And I know it would. I know that's what they'd be thinking. I know they would. The would? You'd sit in,

party bag of minstrels would be like, you are a fucking fat bitch. And I'm ashamed to be here in this house. That's what cat would be thinking about me. And I'd see it and it's smileless, soulless, soulless eyes. And I can't have it. Nah.

So no, we're not getting a cat. It would hate me. It would hate me. Like, scratchers when I'm asleep in that Yeah. Yeah, fat bitch I would hate us Unless I got a fat cat

Little Garfield No, don't have fat animals It's not fair It's not fair on the animals It's currently a thing on Real Housewives at the minute I know I talk about Real Housewives Like it's me like

One of the women on there Of Real Housewives, Orange County She's like crazy fit Like she's just super like musly and amazing right She's got like an obese dog You know when you're like how is you how are you your dog's fucking

open they're like taking to the vets and I like it's really over waiting it's like what the fuck take on a fucking run and dog's like why are you so thin and I'm fat as fuck

that's the thing you've got to monitor what they won't stop they won't stop fucking eating you would drop a block of cheese the size of a fucking PlayStation 5 in front of a dog which scram the entire thing

that's why I like my dog you see yourself in them because the dog would be like hmm the dog would be like Rosie you enjoy them I would. It would. You would. You enjoy them. Yeah. I'm not a car.

I've had a bloody, lovely time. I've had such a laugh. Love you. Such a laugh. Love you for listening. Love all you guys listening but not in the same way that I love me wife. But close, close. I'll share you. Great. Guys, thank you so much to listen. If you want to send an email, it is shagmouda nodon at gmail.com. That's for a long form email. If you want to send a voice note to the WhatsApp, it's 07-7-8-74-0-60-66-5. and what? I'll you're on your phone. Chrisamsaycom and say them in your area over the next few months and come and say it's live. Yeah, please do. Back in years next week.

Bye. Bye.