Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 11. Floss before you flirt

Episode Date: April 26, 2019

On this episode of Sh**ged Married Annoyed, Rosie and Chris are dealing with the Easter Egg aftermath. They discuss Game of Thrones (no spoilers) snoring, weeing in the shower and hoover obsessions. They also receive a question from none other than TV’s Vicky McClure AKA DI Kate Fleming. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Gimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder. April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit tso.ca. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm.

You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com. Hello, you're listening to Shagmire Denoyed with me, Rosie Ramsey, and my husband, Christopher Ramsey, who's just got back from London about 10 minutes ago. Yes, I have, yes. I just got back from London. Normally it's an insult that you started with.

Today it was a geographical fact, so thank you very much. And he's in our bed. Brilliant, there we go. Always happy to be home. Guys, thank you very much for listening. This is episode 11 of Shag Married Annoyed and before we start a word

from this week's sponsor no I forget I always forget about this this week's sponsor towels yeah hey

are you wet no not like that don't drag it don't because the advertising money will go sorry

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and having to shake yourself dry like a dog and or bear you need a towel you of the bath and having to shake yourself dry like a dog and or bear? You need a towel. Are you washed your hands and you just don't want to stick them out the window and shake them into the sun? You need a hand towel. That's right. Towels come in all different shapes and sizes and different names.

We have beach towels for use on the beach and in the house if you want to. Or you can take them to the local swimming leisure centre pool. Right? Bath towel. Bath mat, which is kind of a towel, but don't use it to dry your hands because that would be weird. Guest towel.

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which we've already advertised. Flannels, also available. Tiny little square towel. Towels are getting a lot of air time, Chris. Well, they've paid big bucks. They've paid nothing. We've made no money off this podcast. No, like I've said before, each sponsor gives worth a million.

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Here's the jungle. If you're going to the jungle, you better take a towel in case you stand in a creek and or river. Oh, no, stop. Right, done. Bye. We had a fight about the jingle. towel in case you stand in a creek and or river stop right right done bye hello it's lovely to have you back hi are you talking to me or the listeners Jingle, jingle. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Jingle.

Hello. It's lovely to have you back. Hi. Are you talking to me or the listeners? I'm talking to the listeners. The listeners. Hi, listeners. Not you.

For God's sake. Well, you know, I lived that for a moment. I thought, yeah, because I've just come back from London, so I thought that's what you meant. I know, your little puppy dog eyes. You genuinely thought I was talking to you. No, I wasn't. Sorry. But, I mean, it's nice to have you back. Do you need us to get

something from the loft that's the only time you're happy to see us actually yes funny enough I do episode 11 here we are yeah indeed

it's rolling on isn't it it's going good though still enjoying it still here not divorced yet not divorced yet that's good isn't it oh for series 2

Shagmire divorced oh hey it's got a good ring to it that i am not divorcing you just for a title i already haven't been paid for this podcast i'm not losing half of me earnings for a title um so what have you been up to uh i've just got back from london i did a celebrity juice last night i don't know when that'll be on um very crazy lineup last night was it yeah paddy mcgin be on. It was a very crazy line-up last night. Was it? Yeah. Paddy McGuinness, Jimmy Carr, Amanda Holden, little old me,

Charlotte Hawkins from Good Morning Britain, two people from Corrie, a young couple who are dead canny, and I forget their names, and that's terrible, and James Morrison, singer. Amazing. He looks so much like Chris Martin from Coldplay. It's frightening.

Right. Yeah. It wasn't him, was it? No. It's crazy. amazing he looks so much like Chris Martin from Coldplay it's frightening right yeah it wasn't him was it no like it's crazy what band's he from James Morrison's just James Morrison just you give me something

and a battle to bring back right because when I watched your Instagram yeah I thought that was him from Coldplay right no that's Chris Martin

oh that's horrible isn't it I honestly was I thought I thought you'd met Chris him from Coldplay. Right, no, that's Chris Martin. Oh, that's horrible, isn't it? I honestly was... I thought you'd met Chris Martin from Coldplay. Well, no, because I would have said it's Chris Martin. I wouldn't have called him James Morrison, would I? I don't know if you did at the time. Yeah, you must have. I mean, I don't listen that intently.

You don't watch my Instagram. No, well, I watched it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're too busy watching other people's Instagrams, what are here? Exactly. There we go. What have you been. Too busy watching other people's Instagrams, what are here? Exactly. There we go. What have you been up to?

Well, it's been Easter, which has been horrible. It is pretty shied in it, Easter, to be fair. Do you know what? Like,

it's just another thing for people to go ridiculous about and decorate tables and like, I just don't, I'm such a humbug when it comes to anything other than christmas

yeah i just find it all too much i mean the eggs can stay i'm currently just literally just you've just picked one up where did that come from it's been here the whole time we need to do video podcasting because you just went the eggs can stay and an egg appeared from some kind of kangaroo pouch you must have i couldn't see it from your laptop was it just behind your laptop yeah it was just behind your laptop what do you what you're doing what you're doing i've told you about my low blood sugar we're doing a podcast you can't be munching on a fucking people can hear you chewing your animal no i can't clacking away right well i'll only have a little bit it's just a just smarties

one this is well yeah it's a Smarties one Not affiliated at all with any kind of advertising No Hashtag not an ad I wish Imagine getting paid in Smarties Oh heavens above That's a dream

Yeah, the old ones before they changed them Or Skittles Or Skittles Oh well, your four's going to be full I'll tell you that right now Little one for the regular listeners there. Our son is addicted to chocolate, it's safe to say. He really is.

It's honestly like having a crackhead in the house when there's chocolate around. Yeah. He wakes up, it's the first thing he asks for. And Easter and Christmas make it worse. Other people's kids seem to be fine about it. I know. I don't know what's wrong with him. Well, I do.

He's my child. Yeah. I don't know what's wrong with him well i well i do he's my he's my child yeah i don't know what's wrong with him says the woman who just during a podcast started eating an easter egg it's because i think what's wrong with him yeah yeah he's just a product of me but um i've decided that next year before easter if anyone's coming to the house who might have an egg for him i'm gonna text them before they come yeah just to say thank you i know you probably have an egg for him but can you just give it to me on the sly and i can give it to him like in a couple of weeks because he was just he got about four at the same time yeah and he asked about them constantly do you remember he was cuddling the cream egg one on the set yeah it's really really weird he just wants them wants them with him. And he can't leave them for a couple of days.

You know, have a bit of day. He has to eat them all. And my mum was like, just let him. Just let him go through. I was like, what? For? No. What is she doing there?

Is that the... Can you remember when they used to say that if you caught your kids smoking, you had to make them smoke? Is that what she's doing? That's what she's doing. Just let... Rosie, listen. Let him eat them all until he's sick. And doing that's what she's doing just let rosie listen let him eat them all till he's sick and then he'll never want one ever again i don't think that's how it

works no that's not with him he will be like all right cool bring them on i know you'd literally be like yeah they're on sale now it's after easter let's go down to asda mommy and daddy exactly my mom was so strict with sweets when we were a kid you know was yours uh no not massively i mean we didn't have i know you've got an issue with people who've got a cupboard haven't you oh the sweet yeah well maybe i'm just a bit jealous because we never had it i had friends who had a sweet cupboard you'd go around the house and you'd open it and it was like it was like willy wonka spunked all over the inside of one of the cupboards yeah it was craziness we didn't have that i just had you know there was there was breakaways, trios. Mr.

Oh my God, Mr. Kipling. Chocolate chip cake bars. Can you remember them? Well, briefly. We never had them. They were just in the cupboard and after every meal, I do remember,

it was like packed lunch. It was like school packed lunch. After every meal, I would have a pack of crisps and a chocolate bar. Nice. After every single meal. So I was never craving them.

Do you know what I mean? See, that's where, I think that's why my problem lies. You were never allowed them. My mum would ration me so much. Well, not, there was never craving them. Do you know what I mean? See, that's where, I think that's why my problem lies. My mum would ration me so much. Well, not, there was three of us. We were a family of five. Yeah.

When my mum got a multi-pack of crisps, right? Yeah. You're not even going to believe this. We used to hide, like we used to take a pack of crisps. Right. And then take a couple extra

and hide them. Shut up, man. Because I'm not even joking. Squirrel Of course, I'm not even joking. Squirrel them away. I'm not even joking. We used to hide packets of crisps, right? So that they just wouldn't all go. It's so sad, isn't it?

Where would you hide? Like your mom's tucking you into bed. Night, night, Rosie. Night, night, mom. Just lie down on the pillow. No. What was that? Nothing.

I used to put them in my knick-knack drawer and i used to put them inside clothes in my wardrobe wow this i no word of a lie wow i used to hide them because they would just disappear same with chocolate bars everything they'd just go so you had to just fend for yourself grab as many as you could and get and hide them i was an only child i never had that bother and if if a full pack had got eaten, which it never did because I wasn't that kid, I would, you know, I assume you'd have someone else to blame it on. I assume your brother or sister could just eat them all and go, oh, it was Rosie or it was all yours.

Yeah. But if I ate them all, that would be it. Well, your mum would know straight away. Yeah. But I never, I wasn't the kid who ate, I never ate my advent calendar before I had to. I never ate all the dates in the advent calendar but you did well yeah i don't know whether we spoke about this before or not yeah but you know this i used to eat mine yeah and then i used to eat my brother's ancestors and then put them back and

then put the i used to open the top yeah eat it all out slide it back in like an empty packet of paracetamol i honestly don't know how i thought i got away with that I never did get away with it but that's what I used to do I think that's why I'm not bothered about Easter Rosie, I don't mean to upset you I don't want to get divorced here but I don't really like Easter eggs I don't like them I'd rather have a biscuit, I'd rather have a Twix

I like a bit of biscuit or some caramel in me or something in me bar I like a crunch in a chocolate bar I don't just like chocolate I just like a crunch in a chocolate bar. I don't just like chocolate. I just like a big slab of chocolate. The only thing I like that hasn't got any crunch to it

is a cream egg. And I tell you what, until they release an Easter egg sized cream egg, I'm a wife at Easter. I can take it or leave it. That would kill you. I can't think of a better way to go.

It's time for What's Your Beef? What's your beef? What's your beef? What's your beef? Do you want to go it's time for what's your beef what's your beef what's your beef what's your beef do you want to go first uh you can go first ladies first what's your beef with christopher ramsey okay this week's beef is you might not be expecting this actually but this has been happening for a long time ever since oh god been together. Oh God. Okay. I hate that whenever I cook a meal or we get a takeaway you

will stand at the kitchen bench and trough at that meal for at least 10 minutes. Yeah. And I'm going, are we going to sit at the table?

You know, because we're scumbags. We watch the telly with our dinner on our knee. Let's admit it, right? I'll be around the bush. I'll be sitting, waiting to press play on whatever we've got to watch. I'll be like, are you coming? And you're just like,

oh, just having a bit of this and eating some, chucking my naan bread and that and my starter, my starter. I hate it. Right. What is so bad about me standing at the bench and eating a bit before I go and sit down?

Why does it upset you so much? It just does. We were up here around the other day, terrible day, we had a hungover McDonald's. Your sister and her husband were here, and Michael brought a McDonald's in, and we husband were here and he brought Michael brought a McDonald's in

and we were standing and you literally you got yours you put it on your plate which everyone slagged you off for you went and sat down and you shouted across to all of us

guys come and sit down just not want to sit down and Michael bless him just sat down and I went Michael you stand there if you want mate you stand upright

and you eat your McDonald's because there's no do not let her dictate that you have to sit down you eat standing up horses weird I don't I just don't understand Do not let her dictate that you have to sit down. Why do you eat standing up? Horses. Weird.

I just don't understand people who can enjoy a meal stood up. I just sometimes like to stand up at the counter and have a few little tidbits, little excitement, little eegies before I come and sit down. After a while, I'll sit down. But you know what ruins the enjoyment of your little tidbits? Being shouted at to go and sit down. It just really irritates us. I'm sit down. But you know what? You know what ruins the enjoyment of your little tidbits? Being shouted at to go and sit down. Just really irritate us. I'm so sorry.

Really, really. It is, yeah. Every time you do it, I'm like, I'm close at the edge. Yeah, right. Wow. Well, do you know what? I'll try and stop doing it. I'll try and come and sit down because it's not necessary that I stand up and eat it.

I don't well no you know what I'll go back on that it is because I've just thought there about when you're dishing the curry out and you're putting

your naan bread on the plate and you go rip a little bit of naan bread off there and dip that in there and go ooh where's the chips

just as you're sort of making up your plate have a little taste no I don't do that I just put it all on the plate I'll have it all ready prepared

I'll sit down and then I enjoy my meal rather than eating it in three stages. Do you know what I mean? Hey, little and often, it's supposed to be healthy for you. Oh, is that why you're thinner than me, is it? Arsehole. No.

It's because I used to eat so much chocolate as a kid. I've built up a tolerance to it. Probably. Do you know what I'm saying? A pack the crisps and a Mars bar after every meal makes you fine.

Diabetic. Okay. Right, fair enough. Fair beef. Your turn to get dealt with. My beef this week with you

and this has been going on for a while but even more now that we're sort of working together and we're doing let's call it business trips. We do business trips together.

We'll get the train to London or whatever and we're going to do things. It happened particularly when we did the Sarah Cox show when I was booking the train for that. So you will, all the time, you do it all the time. I'll be asking you, I'll go, Rosie, I've just had an email. They want to book with trains for like two o'clock

in the afternoon on the Tuesday before the Sarah Cox show. Is that okay? And you're half fanning on on your phone or doing something. You go, yeah, it's fine. And it goes, is it fine? You go, yes, man. And I go, right, okay. And then it comes to the time.

So whether it's a train or whether I've booked someone to come around and fix something in the house, whatever it is, when it comes to the time, I go, oh, by the way, this has happened at this time. And you go, oh! What? Eh? What? What? Eh? What? to the time, I go, oh, by the way, this is Hamlet this time, and you go, oh! Eh! What? Two o'clock

train? Why? And I go, Rosie, I asked you, and you, not only did you agree, you then shouted at us for asking you twice, and you've done this for so long, right? And you've absolutely outdone so long right and you've you've absolutely outdone yourself the other day what you did was it was the sarah cox in your two o'clock train

two o'clock trains have a little night in london yes man chris fine comes to you two days before remember we're trains at two o'clock two o'clock why and i went i told you i ran it by you and you know what you said as in the tone of that you were proving me wrong but you are actually proving yourself wrong your actual response was well i wasn't listening but you said it like it was a checkmate and i was like that is an admission of guilt but you said it like it was a fucking accusation right it's horrible? Firstly, terrible impression. Secondly, can you not just admire my honesty for once?

Right, yes. Thank you. Right. Thirdly, no, I don't listen to you at all when you tell us, but this is another beef. I'm going to waste my beefs

on the beefs. You will just tell me all of your diary, every train time, every hotel you're staying in. I don't give a shit. Just the night before, it's that time. Great.

Thank you. Wonderful. This is the only time we talk this podcast. I do remember that though. It was literally, literally well i wasn't listening and the tone was chris you should have known i wasn't listening and just benched that for later i'm such a good actress that my vegan face is just like my face now brilliant such a good actress yeah it's immodesty love. I thought it was me boobs.

It's time for questions from you, lovely lot. Questions from the public. So, got an email here. This is called Sleeping Beauty or Sleeping Beast. Hi, Chris and Rosie. I have a dilemma, which I hope you're going to help me with. My husband and I have been married for six weeks and all is great until it comes to going to sleep.

He wakes me up in the middle of the night with what can only be described as a groan slash growl and continues to do this in and out on every breath. It is far worse than Chris's tennis snoring. Thank you very much. When I tell him about it the morning after he laughs and tells me you should have woken me up.

No bout of shaking or hitting wakes the man up. I have tried. My question is, do I sleep in the spare room or do I lie awake all night? And what do I do to ensure he wakes up or do I kick him out? Annulment. My question is,

how did you not know this before you got married? Maybe they didn't sleep together in the same bed. Wow. Who knows? That is brave and stupid. Yeah. Brave and stupid. It's, I mean, that, what's her name?

Wake him up. Her name is Charlotte. Charlotte. Charlotte, Charlotte, Charlotte. Charlotte, ah. I'm going to be honest with you, Charlotte, I don't think you're trying hard enough to wake this fella up. Some people just don't wake up, you know.

Mm. Some people don't wake up. Mm. Yeah, but come on. Punch in the throat. Backhand. Stab to the neck. Okay, Rosie,

you went a little bit too far. You know, I'm talking backhand. I'll tell you one thing, Charlotte. This is one thing that the police use on people who are fully unconscious. A really hard nip

on the earlobe. On the ear, yeah. Yep, yep, yep. Earlobe. Give them a proper hard nip on the earlobe. On the ear, yeah. Yep, yep, yep. Earlobe. Give him a proper hard nip on the earlobe. It'll be a delayed reaction. Squeeze it. He will wake up.

Yeah. A mate of mine told me a story of one of his mates was unconscious, blackout drunk. And his other mate was there. And he was like, oh, my dad's a policeman. They do this to wake them up. And they squeezed his ear so hard

for ages and ages and ages. And he wasn't waking up. Then they stopped. He woke up and instantly burst into tears. Oh, because it hurt so much. Well, because it's just some kind of weird pressure thing. He literally just woke up like... And just started crying.

So Charlotte, do that. Do that, yeah. That'll wake him up. Absolutely. Little snoring little sausage that he is. Or maybe a motorbike helmet to put him in. Or she could just go to the spare room. What? For the spare room. What?

For the rest of our marriage? She's been married six weeks. A moment. Yeah, fair enough. Question. This one's just called. Question. Hi guys.

When driving and using the sat-nav, do you ever get into heated arguments with each other or the nav itself? After the extended bank holiday weekend we had,

we had our fair share of exchanges with each other and the bloody machine. Just wanted to know that we are not alone. Love the podcast. Keep it up. Yes, we do. We really do. I will fully admit that I am a terrible

backseat driver. Horrendous. I know, I can't help it. Horrific to be in a car with. Horrible. Bullying. Disgusting. The worst. You're not a very good driver, Chris. horrendous i know horrific to be in a car with yeah horrible bullying disgusting the worst you're not a very good driver yes i am my mom says i'm excellent all right okay your mom who can't drive in the center of newcastle your mom who drops her car off at the metro station listen I'm a good driver

you are just you've got extremely high standards I do yeah you're the worst yeah when we were in a taxi recently and I told the guy

to stop banging his brakes really hard because it was making us feel sick you had to go at us and said I was a prick because it was a five minute journey

and I don't think you needed to tell him, to be honest. No, I'm sorry. It's me pet hate. If you're being driven around, so you're literally paying someone to drive you somewhere in comfort, and they're just every stop for no reason. They just lace the brake on.

Like it's a bloody, you know, when you get instructors to hit the dashboard. Yeah. Like it's a bloody test. Mate, I hate taxis. I hate taxis so much. we're like genuinely what what do you hate what do you hate about the most i think what you hate about it will be the same as what i hate about it um they very often smell yeah yeah i'm not joking just in the car on the way back there i've got a guy who drives around who i know in newcastle who's a taxi i always get him he's really cool guy but i was on the phone to someone who i know

i was in london yesterday basically and i got in the car with uh my manager and we had a driver and i was like oh i know that driver he stinks is that the breath taxi oh no i swear to god right you can smell his gums. And I said, the only way I can describe what this taxi smells like, you know when you floss?

On a bit of Yeah, it's like he's flossed and then he's got the dirty floss and he's rubbed it across the fans on his dashboard

and it's just wafting it round. I've been in. It's horrible. You have, you've been in the car. Well, we were in it, it was like

November and we're like, do you mind if we open the windows? We're boiling. Rosie, I had a full day of interviews with him one day right

so he was driving us around from interview to interview in London I was hungover I was hungover I'd been on the drink the day before I did Sunday brunch

with Example and I went back to Example's house and I got hammered and I had press the next day and I was hungover in the halitosis cab

and I was honestly nearly vomiting and do you know what someone just told us today the foreigners were like so I put a by the way I put an official complaint in about his halitosis cab and I was honestly nearly vomiting and do you know what someone just told us the day of the phone and they were like so I put a by the way

I put an official complaint in about his halitosis I want your joke and he went he said he thought it was just him until I said

oh this taxi driver stinks he was like oh my god he does stink so he's complaining oh no but you know what you're right though you're paying a service

yeah to be drove around and sometimes when I've got in taxis, you get in and say you've just entered their little lair and they've been sat there all day. Like a teenage boy's bedroom. Oh, worse.

You're just sat there all day and you're like, have you let any air into this taxi? Are your farts just moist in the air that's my thing well you know sometimes we get in a taxi well sometimes me and you will get out of a taxi and you're like god you were you were loving him like literally well the guy with the blooming the he had that tesla the other day and sometimes i'm like loving the taxi driver and we get out and you're like oh you're using you best mate him you always have a go at this it's because I have so many shit taxis in my life

when they're good I'm like let's exchange numbers let's be mates forever I mean they're not all like that let's just

not talk them over most of them are good we don't want to sound like a couple of dickhead snobs here but for your job when you have to get taxis a lot

the problem is every single taxi I've got in when I've been hammered it's been amazing because I don't notice anything well you don't notice

it when you're drunk yeah do you know what I mean wasn't the one time we got in when I've been hammered it's been amazing because I don't notice anything. You don't notice it when you're drunk. Do you know what I mean? Wasn't the one time we got in and there was just a bit of dog food on the back of the seat and we were like what? Do you remember? But it was like three o'clock in the afternoon and we were like why is there dog food on the back seat?

Get me out of here. You're invited to an immersive listening party. Get me out of here. Gustavo Jimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder, April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit tso.ca. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th when the Toronto Rock

hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch

your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Rosie and Chris, which Game of Thrones character would you be and why?

Oh, that's a good question. It's nice, isn't it? Yeah. Nice quick one. Who would you be and why? Oh, that's a good question. It's nice, isn't it? Yeah. Nice quick one. Who would you be? Quick. Oh, Bronn of the Blackwater.

Who's he? Sir Bronn. I know, but there's so many of them. Robson and Jerome. Jerome, from Robson and Jerome. Oh,

he is good actually. He taught Jamie Lannister how to fight with his left hand. Okay. I'd be him. Just because he just wants to enjoy himself, get on with his life, get rich, and live in a castle. And he's not bothered about any of that politics.

And that's me. Yeah, that is you. Love him. I would be Arya Stark. Would you now? Mm-hmm. She's mint. Yeah?

That's it. She's badass, like. She's badass. She's badass. I don't want to have any spoilers for people here, Yeah? That's it. She's badass, like. She's badass. She's badass. Did... I don't want to have any spoilers for people here, but did you feel slightly strange in the most recent scene

that she partook in? Yes. I did. Did you see her tweet? No. What was her tweet? Let's try not to give too much away for anyone who isn't up to date yet.

Well, we're going to, aren't we? Right. Well, no, because all I was going to say was, I was literally like, I felt like it was my daughter. I know. And I felt like I needed to run into the room and go, get your clothes back on! You!

Put that thing away! A tweet said, if you think you felt awkward, I sat and watched it in a room with my mum, my stepdad, my sisters and my four brothers. It was very funny. Dear Rosie, how good is Chris at picking out Robin's outfits? Well, Beth, I would love to tell you, but he's never really done it, if I'm honest. So, I don't know. Great.

You haven't though, have you? I think I've picked Robin's outfit out since the day he was born. Well, no, I have picked his outfits out multiple times to a flurry of riddles and second guesses and criticisms. And I don't do it anymore. Chris, can you get him... Can you get his nursery outfit? Yeah, Rosie, what?

Oh, God, just pick something. What's wrong with you? Are you stupid? It's not hard. Come down with something. They're not his nursery trousers. They're his Saturday afternoon trousers. And that's his casual Sunday jumper.

It's not his nursery... And that doesn't fit him anymore if it doesn't fit him why is it in the fucking wardrobe Rosemary well I'm keeping it for if I have another baby put it in another wardrobe

or some kind of bag or the loft you know Beth Beth thank you for your question Beth no I'm not going to pick that out

and you know what I don't think most blokes are going to pick that out because the rules that you guys put down that only you know is craziness it's an invisible map why are you so angry today because i haven't had any of that easter egg do you want

a little yes there you are calm down wow have a bit of sugar jeez louise hi guys quick question if you didn't do a podcast together and you could pick anyone else, brackets, dead or alive, to do a podcast with, who would it be and what would it be about? Oh. That's from Craig. Oh, my goodness. Well, I can tell you what mine will be straight away.

Okay. Because I've thought about this before. Have you? But it wouldn't have to... It is a dead person, but it wouldn't be while they were alive. I would have to kind of just bring... It would be with their ghost

because if it was while they were alive, it wouldn't be a very good podcast because they couldn't really see anything. But I would do a podcast about... With Al Capone about his full criminal empire. Oh, okay. Everything he did.

Best way to kill someone, best way to hide a body, how to bootleg, you know, everything. The full lot. full criminal empire okay everything he did best way to kill someone best way to hide a body how to bootleg you know everything the full lot me and al capone sitting talking about everything he ever did yeah it would be terrifying and amazing i would listen to that and if al capone wasn't up for it john gotti who john gotti right he was one of the he was a new york new york crime figure because i like stuff like that No jokes there I just

No no And I don't want to know The best way to kill someone Or hide a body That was just examples Is that John Gotti That's in the five song Represent a John Gotti

Master's What The happy class Come on Here we were The hooligan funk I know you want to stand up So baby jump

Jump Everybody get up Sing in five reference three four mobster john gotty in their songs so no reason i know his name wow yeah but maybe i mean friggin hell that was that's bald by five are we talking five of their slam dunk the funk thing yes right yes and they mentioned mafia head john gotty wow um maybe yeah he's been he's mentioned a lot of rap songs uh-huh yeah um so who would i have never in sorry never in the world did i imagine that talking about a massive mob figure would end in you rapping a five song fair play you rosie you surprise me every day thank you i do try um so my podcast would probably have to be with five no no you wait right i was gonna honestly unplug your mic if you're gonna choose that what an amazing opportunity and you're gonna

fuck oh no i'm joking um it's really hard because I just... Can I have a couple of people at the same time? Oh, yeah. Right. Oh, here's my table. Okay, right. Quickly, I want to add Genghis Khan onto mine as well. Genghis Khan. Best way to rule the world.

Bang. Good stuff. I know who that is. Yeah. Mine would be Bette Midler. Wow. Victoria Wood. Wow.

Julie Wallace. Wow. Dolly Parton. Wow. Amy Schumer. Bette Midler Wow Victoria Wood Wow Julie Wallace Wow Dolly Parton Wow Amy Schumer Holy shit Celeste Barber Who's Celeste Barber?

Comedian Got you Australian Ah yes Wow Yeah That's a hell of a loose women line up I'll be honest with you

And me Good that innit Yeah That's what mine would be Wow What would it be called? Slags women line up, I'll be honest with you. And me. Good that, innit? Yeah. That's what mine would be. Wow. What would it be called? Slags.

Ironically. Slags Anonymous. Are Joan Rivers on there as well? Oh yeah, I love a bit of Joan Rivers. Why not? Wow. Love it. We've got an email here from Simon. Hi, Chris and Rosie. my beef that always winds me up is when my wife says do you want a sandwich made and i reply yes she always

comes back with how many slices of bread one sandwich is two slices of bread. But according to her, one slice of bread is one sandwich. WTF in capitals. What? Like, folded over? That's not a sandwich. That's crazy. That's half a sandwich. That's the hardest,

that's the saddest sandwich. Imagine you said, you were at their house, and she said, do you want a bacon sandwich? And you went, yeah. And you got one bit of bread folded over one bit of bacon oh no that'd

smash a house up i know that's a i'm late for work let's just grab a bit of bread stick a bit of ham in it and fold it over well that's a we've got no bread sandwich that's this is the last bit of bread sandwich it's a toddler sandwich that yeah it is. Imagine going to Greg's and buying a sandwich and there's only one triangle. They'll probably start doing that for people on diets. Yeah. I'm absolutely fuming about that. That's weird, that, isn't it?

Yeah, Simon, tell her she's wrong. She's so wrong. She's not in her world. No, but her world is wrong. Her entire world's wrong. She needs to rethink her entire sandwich belief system. Aren't people... Isn't it funny how other people live?

Yeah. She might think that that's really strange. Do you know what I mean? What, two slices of bread? Yeah, she's obviously grown up with just being made a sandwich, having one bit of bread folded over. I wonder, though, I wonder... Here's a question.

Yeah? Do you think she ever has two bits of bread folded over separately so you think instead of putting two bits of bread together and putting the stuff in the middle you think she actually makes two little mini sandwiches yeah yeah yeah tell you what if she's listening to this now when she has been doing that honestly do it the other way you will double the amount of spare time you've got around the house yeah I know because that is carnage babadoo babadoo babadoo question here

she's wrote dearest Chris and Rosie which I really like posh actually she's wrote Rosie and Chris and I'm absolutely fuming about that do you wee in the shower

I 100% do my kids do my husband suggests he doesn't but he doesn't fully commit to the answer Rosie I do I do My husband suggests he doesn't, but he doesn't fully commit to the answer. Rosie?

I do. I do. It's the next bit of the email that I found very interesting. Imagine this. She just wrote, I took a poll in the office. What are people who do and don't? Yeah. She went to work.

Her name's Olivia. Olivia went to work and asked everyone. Love it. People are amazing. What was the answer? Well, yeah. Turns out only 20% of us wee in the shower. WTF.

It's normal to wee in the shower, right? Honestly, liars. Liars, a lot of them. I just love, I just love. More than that, right it right everyone everyone phones down phones down olivia's gonna pass some post-it notes out just honest answer opening on no judgment the box is at the top here put it in anonymously you've worked in offices i'd love that that. I'd be like, right. Come on, everyone. Anything to break up the day.

Hi, Chris and Rosie. I love the podcast. It's absolutely brilliant. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. My question for you both is, last week when shopping with my boyfriend,

I noticed one of the cashiers staring at him. I looked at him and then back at her and she was almost dribbling whilst gawping at him. Wow. He didn't notice and I couldn't decide whether I was delighted or furious.

So my question is, how do you feel about other people fancying your significant other? Gemma from Watford. I don't think it's ever happened.

You bastard. No. That is not nice. First question, what's your dribbling from my mouth? Oh, Christopher. Oh, monkey, monkey that. Monkey.

God's sake. How did we say it? That has happened before. Do you remember this? You know what? Just as you, yes. I think you're going to talk about what I think you're going to, yeah. At my friend's wedding.

The barmaid. At As You Like It. Yes. Do you remember? Yeah. Explain to them. Well, no, let's just put it out there. We are not the jealous kind of couple at all.

We're very open and honest about our relationship. We talk about exes and blah, blah, blah. Yeah. When we're at this wedding, the barmaid was a young girl and she was really flirting with you while i was there and i wasn't annoyed i was just kind of like a bit taken aback just it was really blatant yeah but you didn't even notice because i didn't notice i'm a bloke i didn't have I didn't have a freaking clue like

can you remember what you said to us no right so we were standing there your friend was there I honestly just thought I thought

hey what a bloody lovely barmaid she's dead polite what a lovely lass attentive right what a lovely lass she is and she was talking with and then you said

I was talking to her and then you said something to me and I went eh and I was like it was a bit cutting I can't remember what you said specifically but I went what's wrong what's my and you said i was talking about and then you said something to me and i went and i was like it was a bit cutting i can't remember what you said specifically but i went what's wrong what's and you said you went oh you're just exhausting us that's what you said you're just exhausting us and i looked like that and then i looked at angela your friend our friend angela and angela

had to pull us aside and go the barmaid was flirting with you and rosie's annoyed about it because it looked like you were flirting back but i know that you just didn't know that did you and i was like no i didn't think you were flirting back it was just it was the sheer well it was the sheer kind of what's the word boldness of her for one right i was just kind of like what because she was ignoring me do you remember she was just fully on you why do you think i like that but you you weren't flirting with her at all you were being polite but i was like don't be polite to her she's rude she's ignoring me she's only talking to you and i hate it i hate that i had no idea i had not a clue yeah stupid honestly i didn't have a clue rosie she could have literally been like taking her pants off and i'd be like oh

you're a bit warm so uh two coronas like shut up i'm telling you i do not know when women are flirting men out there you tell me if you know when they're flirting there's only certain men who do and then men are perverts. And snakes. And they should be locked up. Dear Chris and Rosie, help needed. Please can you help out with the dilemma? My other half is addicted and obsessed

with Hoovers. Particularly Dyson. I love him already. I love this man already. I'll read on. I've gone away recently for a little mini break to see family. And whilst I was gone, he invested £600 on a new handheld Dyson without telling me until the purchase was complete. Wow. I want to feel annoyed, but it does mean that he will do the hoovering for the next six months at least.

And he is like a small child at Christmas with it. Thoughts welcome. Sitting in the bath, very angry, feeling very angry right now and thinking i might have to move out to make space for the hoovers p.s this is what i love i know chris will ask here are the hoover types that we already own one window vacuum two handheld dysons brackets one being the new one a vax carpet cleaner one hitting hoover don't know what that? One leaf blower hoover. And two Dyson multi-floor cylinder hoovers. Brackets, one is just for hoovering the dogs.

Wow. That is an unnecessary amount of hoovers. He's a fucking superhero. Gee, where did the lip go? He's building like a jetpack or something. Crikey. I mean, I suppose there's worse addictions though, isn't there? Do you know what I mean? Oh God.

It's an expensive addiction. He's going to be one of their men in the chat magazine, isn't he? Married his Hoover. Do you know what I mean? Left wife for Dyson. I left my wife

to be a Mormon Hoover marrier. Six Hoovers. Have you seen them in magazines? Oh yeah, like blokes who shag their cars and stuff. Yeah.

No, there was one the other day and it was a woman who'd married a zombie doll that she'd got when she was 11 and I was like, what?

What? Hold on, I think the main story here is zombie doll grooms 11 year old. Yeah, exactly. I'll be phoning the police right now.

What about that woman who married the Berlin Wall? What? Did you not know that? But they knocked her down. I know she was gutted. I'm not even joking. There was a documentary about this.

So she now refers to the Berlin Wall as my late husband. It is time for Celebrity Question of the Week. Celebrity Question of the Week. Celebrity Question of the Week. Lovely. This one is probably my personal favourite so far. My new Instagram bestie. Yeah. Current favourite actress on the television. Yeah.

The wonderful Vicky McClure. Oh, yeah. Hi, Chris and Rosie. It's Vicky McClure here, a.k.a. Dure here aka DI Kate Fleming from Line of Duty I want to ask you a question Who do you think would make the best police officer

and why? Bloody DI Fleming Bloody DI Fleming from Line of Bloody Duty Exciting eh? Asking little you and me Thank you so much DI Kate Fleming. Kate Fleming from Line of Duty. Love Line of Duty.

I think I would be the better police officer. Do you? I do. Do you? Oh, sorry. Do you not? I think I'm a bit harder than you. Might.

Oh, so you're going to break the rules as a police officer. You're going to hit them. You're going to be hard. You're going to hurt them. Oh, I don't know. That's breaking the rules straight away. I don't know what kind of police officer... We'll follow these to the line of the law,

as Haston says, right? It depends what we're doing. I think running down and chasing down criminals, I don't know. But I think finding stuff, I'd be best. Because I find all the toys. But that's a different department. She just means a bobby

on the job. Does she? D.I. Detective Inspector Kate Fleming. Well, she's worked up the ranks, though. Yeah. She'll not come in straight as a detective. What's another word for detecting? Finding. Who finds all the toys in this house? Oh, God. D.I. Chris Ramsey.

Well done, right. Okay, then. You can work in the toy detecting squad. I'll work. I'll work in real life. Listen, since Toys R Us went under,

the toy detecting squads took some major blows. To be honest with you. It's practically non-existent. We are understaffed and under man now and there's bloody toys everywhere.

Apparently, they're out there on the street rivers and the beach god they're everywhere no em I don't know it's not a job I've ever wanted to do

to be honest hard job really hard job genuinely yeah so I always wanted to be a paramedic

more than a even harder job police officer Jesus but then that I wanted to be a paramedic more than a police officer. Even harder, John. Jesus. But then I wanted to be a paramedic before you go out drinking and you see what paramedics have to deal with. Yeah. Do you know? Do you know when you're younger and you're like,

oh, they go around in a van and help people? Yeah. No, they don't. Yeah. They scrape drunk people off the floor and have to look after them. Big love to any paramedics listening. Yeah. Doing God's work.

Big love to any police officers. We love you. Yeah, if there's any police officers listening, fair play. It must be... I mean... Okay, so let's look at Line of Duty and let's think for their job.

So doing what Arnott and what she does and what Fleming does. That kind of stuff. Behind the scenes, AC-12. Getting other coppers. Finding bent coppers. I'd be good. I'd be good because I always guess right.

Right. What's going to happen next, don't I? You do. Don't I, though? Don't I? Don't I? Don't I? We're not in the interrogation room.

Get that light out of my face. Can I have a drink of water? Look, I want my phone call. Where were you at this time, Ramsey? I think you would be best. I do. Yeah. Because I think if I didn't know the answers, it would stress us out. I would you would be best. I do, yeah. Because I don't,

I think if I didn't know the answers, it would stress us out. I would get upset. Yeah. I need to know stuff. Yeah. But then again, me need to know stuff, my pushers aren't to be a really good copper. Would you be able to go into a house and scoop up a dead person? Because I know that a police officer, personally, I know one that's done that.

Scooped up a dead person? With a little scooper. And they're decomposed. I know that a police officer, personally, I know one that's done that. Scooped up a dead person? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. With a little scooper. And they're decomposed. Oh! Yeah. Would you be able to do that?

No. Well, there you go. Well, I'll just not be in the dead person scooper squad. It's just the police, just the police force, mate. Nah, nah. You're telling me D.I. Kate Fleming

has to scoop up the poopers? She's better than that. Yeah, exactly, man. I don't think I could be a copper because I think genuinely I would end up a bent copper once the OCG came and had a go and said, do you want to do this?

And I'd be like, hey, OCG, I can help. Gives a couple of quid. Hey, OCG, have you had the podcast I do with Al Capone? Thank you once again so much for listening to Shagmaridanoid. If you've got any questions for us, we'd love to hear from you.

Shagmaridanoid at gmail.com. Yes, indeed. Thanks very much. I normally say the website email, but you did it, so... Oh, sorry. I'm just going to sit here and wave. Bye. Sorry.

Bye, guys. I'm just going to sit here and wave. Bye. Sorry. Bye, guys. Bye. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do-do-do. You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishikesh Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway

and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Gimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder, April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit tso.ca. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for fan appreciation night on Saturday,

April 13th, when the Toronto rock hosts the Rochester night Hawks at first Ontario center in Hamilton at 7 30 PM. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every post-season game. And you'll only pay as we play, come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com.