Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 131. A thumbnail of wine

Episode Date: August 27, 2021

Rosie and Chris return and it’s STILL the summer holidays! When will they end?? The pair share their beefs over a little more than a thumbnail of wine and answer some questions from the smas and das which cover sex amnesia and swapping pants with your mum, enjoy!  Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Gimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder. April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit tso.ca. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Center for Addiction and Mental Health,

to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Hello, you're listening to Shag, Mind and me rosie ramsey and my husband christopher ramsey yes hello why were you desperate to speak then i was weird you said it on a different sort of you

normally go hello you listen it was strange you phrased it differently i'm trying to mix it up a little bit right okay great i've been doing this for like a long long time long long i'm just trying to make a little bit i'm just you know every week I'm just like hey listen something different what a very slight inflection different on the way you introduce it did you notice? well I did yeah didn't like it, don't like change

I know you don't like change we've got to keep it interesting keep people listening, keep them coming back every week new content, new segments nah just say the word that you always say is slightly different. That's the plan. And there we go. It's another Plonkast.

Cheers. It is. Cheers. Cheers. Oh. Oh, that's a good one. Does it? Oh, God.

I, honestly, we haven't drank for three days and then having this. Oh, saying it like that makes us sound terrible. Three days? We haven't drank for three days and then having this. Saying it like that makes us sound terrible. Three days? We haven't drank for three days. Three days is good for us. Yeah, it's pretty good. That's really good. Well, I haven't because I've been driving back and forth to gigs.

So I've been doing the stand-up. Because I haven't been here to go, have a drink, man, you suck. Well, yeah, actually. Oh, my word. No, don't. It's you babe You're the reason Why I put on

Five stone It's your fault This is your fault I just like that You know what it is When I'm in the house Relaxing I just like a little

Cheeky little Cheeky little peeve But I've been driving Back and forth to my gigs Because live comedy's back So that's been amazing Yeah I've got that out of my system

Just tired now But you know you can't have it all but yeah happy days that's something I want to talk about when we get to the proper bit

oh yes because this is just this is just the beginning this is the beginning so let's crack on let's crack on let's crack on guys

it is episode 131 wow that's a good number and it is another Plonkast another Plonkast that we're having two Plonkasts in a row, which is exciting.

Let's see how far we can get. Fuck it. We opened a bottle of expensive wine and we brought it upstairs. Even though Sandra's downstairs having a glass, we brought it upstairs into the little office

because we didn't want her to drink it without us. Well, I mean, listen. It really came in with it. Did you even top her up before you left? I did top her up. Right, okay.

She doesn't deserve it though, but no, I'm joking. Well, she's got the kids, so I mean, drinking on the job. Drinking on the job. What the fuck is that? But yes, it's episode 131. We hope you're all lovely and happy and well

wherever you are. Without further ado, it is time for this week's lucrative, lucrative, lucrative sponsor. What bullshit are you going to spout off today? This week's sponsor is Sparkling Water. Oh, yeah.

Hey, are you thirsty? Eh? Yeah. Yeah, I am. Do you know what it is? I am parched. Yeah, yeah. Just been handed a lovely bottle of water, have you?

Mm-hmm. Have a nice big drink of it. Go on, take that lid off. Uh-huh. Get your laughing gear around that. Go a bit down, yeah. Go a bit down, yeah. Oh, my God!

This isn't water. It's all the fizz from pop with none of the taste! It looks like liquid but it's somehow fucking dry! How's it... It's dry to me but... When will the pain end? Oh god! How did I not know it was sparkling?

Because they make it so fucking hard to tell the difference between still and sparkling and my theory is the only reason they're selling sparkling is because people are buying it by accident and not knowing that it's still. Well, right, okay. Yes, I agree. It was rotten once upon a time

but I think the older you get... Nah. No, honestly... Get in the bin. Get in the bin. I can often appreciate a sparkling water with a slice of lime or lemon and some ice.

Nah. And it makes me feel a little bit ooh lordy da. I'll have a sparkling water, please, sir. Disgusting. Get in the bin. It tastes like, you know, can you remember that big thing at school

where you put your... SodaStream? No. Oh. Jesus. What? School. Fucking SodaStream at school.

What are you talking about? Well, sorry, I didn't realise you'd said school. Just weren't listening. Just wanted to shout SodaStream. Fuck me. What are you talking about? Remember the Van de Graaff?

Big words! In science, you'd put your hands on it and your hair would stand up. The Van de Graaff? It's called a Van de Graaff, wasn't it? It was the big metal ball in your science. You had one of them in school? And you'd put your hands on it, yeah, and your hair would stand up on the end. Why did you have that in school?

I forgot you went to a shitty school. I didn't go to a shit school. You obviously did if you didn't have a big Van de Graaff. I went to a voluntary aided school. Right, okay. That'll be why we didn't have a Van de Graaff. It wasn't shit.

It was absolutely flipping brilliant. Okay, well you always gang on about how good your school was but you didn't have a static electric. Do you know what I mean

when you put your hands in it and your hair stands up on end and you get all static? Christopher, I worked at the gadget shop. I know exactly what you mean. We used to sell them

by the gallon. The point is if you could put a fucking tap on that the liquid that'd come out would taste like static water, sparkling water. Oh Jesus, is that where you were going with that?

Oh yeah, because you made us go round the fucking houses, didn't you? Because you don't know what a Van de Graaff is, you scumbag. A Van de Graaff? Is it Van de Graaff? I've probably said it wrong. Probably said it wrong. Do you know what it is, right? I'm going to Google it, and do you know what I'm preparing myself for? I'm preparing myself for the apology at the beginning of the next section, so you can all fucking

enjoy that, you bunch of dicks. And here's the jingle, and look forward to it being called The Ball of Lightning. A standy hairball? God, I hate myself. We had a fight about the jingle, jingle We couldn't settle on a jingle, jingle So this is the jingle, jingle

We hope you like the jingle, jingle Babadoo babadoo babadoo bap Jingle! Hello and welcome back to this week's... The Van de Graaff generator is an electrostatic generator which uses a moving belt to accumulate electric charge on a hollow metal globe on the top of an insulated column creating very high

electrical i can't read that next word but listen what's the current i don't know what the word is let me see potentials potentials is it potentials potentials electric potentials yeah i just i just i could read the word potentials but i didn't think it was right, so I thought I was saying it wrong. I mean, it doesn't sound right in that context, but anyway. Well done, Van de Graaff. Van de Graaff. Van, space, D-E, space, Graaff. What's that?

It's obviously the fan. Van de Bo. What? Is it just German? Wunderbar. Oh, it's German. Wow. Thinking out loud.

Crikey. Crikey. Wow. wow thinking out loud crikey wow hey hey listen didn't have to apologize i'm already tipsy it's so bad it's because i'm so tired and i've had such a stressful little day and then you throw some wine in and you go oh this is what i wanted to talk about right okay so robin started school um well like last september reception so we'd never really experienced the whole summer holiday thing he was just a toddler and he was just always about but whatever he was because nurseries are open during the summer holidays so he used to do a couple of days there or whatever bloody hell summer holidays right how do they how how do people who made up summer holidays expect parents who've got jobs to find child care i don't understand why why has nobody ever petitioned against summer holidays before now i feel like we should i really feel like we should honestly

what you like it's what you meant to do who has your kids what if you what if we didn't have because we're so lucky we've got our like i was gonna say grandparents they've got their grandparents our parents who are retired thank the lord yeah but in other situations where grandparents aren't what do people do why has nobody ever why isn't this a complaint about more my mom used to send me to like a daycare thing in a school yeah and i used to like hate going but i used to always go and now i know why because she just couldn't have i mean what the fuck what you're supposed to do just fucking stay off stay off work for six weeks it's mental it's insane yeah and and then obviously i think it's disgusting that people ramp the prices up because

they know the kids are off school and they know that people take holidays it's just disgusting anyway i'm just annoyed i also feel like we hand them back to the teachers so they've been at school and they've done like a year of progression in their life and i feel like we hand them back and they've sort of gone back a good two months do you know what i mean i feel like it's like yeah look he's forgot a lot of the shit you told him because i have just had him on a fucking ipad for six weeks but that's your fault for having six weeks off not mine that's your fault it's a long time i'm not being funny like on it four weeks three three to four weeks i think would be quite sufficient six weeks yeah six weeks fed up shit the bed big shout out to the teachers you're fucking you've got it sewn up haven't you You've got it made

You're geniuses You're fucking geniuses No but on the other hand though I have to say I have got My two best friends are teachers And I used to work in schools Teacher

It's a Flipping hard job They take a lot of work home on a night out You know what it is No no yeah Don't email anyone if you're a teacher We're only joking But when I was on the one show

During all this I was always giving shout outs to the teachers All the time It was one of the One of the're only joking but when I was on the one show during all this I was always giving shout outs to the teachers all the time it was one of the one of the only things I got compliments for time on the one show tweeted for manspreading

a couple of times thanks for that everyone that was nice oh that was funny pandemic glooming what they gonna do what's gonna happen his legs are open

on the telly I'm gonna email in well good well I'm glad glad you're proud of us in the right place wash your fucking hands. Dick.

Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. So, it's very aggressive this week. This is a nice bottle of wine. Chris got sent

some expensive bottles of wine from his manager. What was it for? Your birthday? Fucking hell. Aye, what was it for? It was for my birthday.

That was at the beginning of this month. You know that thing that you got me a fan for? You know? I don't want to talk about that. for my birthday that was at the beginning of this month you know that thing that you got me a fan for you know I don't want to talk about that on my birthday morning I opened up

I opened up my present and it was a it was a fan it was an electric fan honestly you ungrateful little shit guys how dare you

it was an electric fan oh oh oh oh little twat how horrible are you? It was to put around

your Peloton to cool you down when you're on there. What part of the Peloton should I put it on? The handlebar? That's what it wraps around? Well,

then I'll not see the screen. Oh, well. Thank you. What, am I going to put it around the telly at the top?

Oh, well. Well, there we go how ungrateful I don't like the present you got that doesn't work it isn't practical Jesus you might as well have got us a

fucking bucket of soil I'd have appreciated it more I've got some plants to pot anyway Chris got these very expensive bottles of wine from his manager from someone who actually likes us. I was just surprised because they are very pricey and I was quite surprised that it was just for a birthday. It was a full box of them.

It was like 12 of them in the box. I know, mate. I'm four and a half. So anyway, we're doing that thing where we went to open it earlier on and we Googled the price and my mum was like, no, nah, no, no.

We can't open it. And then you go, Sandra, they end up owning you yeah remember when you got that bottle of champagne yeah when we first got together the same manager got you a really expensive bottle of champagne yeah and we didn't open it for years and i genuinely think when we opened it it didn't taste as nice as it would have because i know you can keep them for a long time, but I think it was just... And now I live by the, no, let's just... You can't let things own you.

Open the nice bottle. I want another glass of this. Not just that. Your mum said, don't open that now. Wait until a special occasion. And I said, a special occasion just means that there'll be more people here to drink it. Like, if we open it now, at least all three of us

can just have a smash at it. So, yeah. Oh, Rosie, there's little red wine droplets going everywhere. It's all down the bottle. Oh, she's licking the side of the bottle. Oh, gee. Oh, God. God, what a clip.

Put it on the dark bit of the cup. Oh, yeah, put it on the wood. There we go. No, you're right. And then, the thing is, if you open a really nice bottle of wine when there's loads of people there and you're like, oh, got this, got this for me birthday, you get, like, a thumbnail and then you go, well, that was delicious, but I've had to share it on seven years, so.

Sorry, you get a what? A thumbnail? Thumb, thimble. Fucking hell. Were you trying to say you get a thimble and you said a thumbnail? Yeah, I've been on a night out. Just when I thought you'd done them all.

Thumbnail? I thought, I thought that on a night, don't we? Just when I thought you'd done them all. Thumbnail? I thought that can't be right, what she's just said. I don't know. Is that not a saying? No. No? A thumbnail? Jesus.

Hey, listen, if you're on your run... Stop slagging people off for run runs I'm not I'm not okay I've started running again don't you dare

I'm a runner now peace out but I just think it's funny if people listen to this and they're on a run and we're just like it's Sunday night

pissed well what can you do what are you going to do what can you do anyway so I've slagged off some of my holidays that's what I wanted

to talk about I'm doing I'm a comedian again. Yes, you are. I'm doing stand-up again. I'm so glad. Oh my God, it was amazing. Got your little twinkle back.

Oh, honestly, it was so incredible getting back on the stage and chatting to the crowd and coming up with things off the top of your head. I had to listen to my show. It was the strangest thing. So it took us two hours to listen to it. Not to get through it, to press play, it took us two hours. From sitting, it was the strangest thing so it took us two hours to listen to it not to get through it to press play

it took us two hours from sitting it was a recording from March the 13th 2020 at the Customs House in Saleshields that was the last time

I did this tour that was the night I finished it because didn't we get locked down the night you were meant to start your tour no

so the night I was meant to start the way it happened I was supposed to do the Hackney Empire on the Friday and he came out and said don't go

to theatres and stuff when so they pulled it that week so I literally did the March well no but this was the one I've been listening to

the Customs House one was like a Tuesday night or something and then that week I was supposed to start the Hackney on that Friday and he went don't go to pubs

and you know when he didn't shut them like a fucking arsehole and he just like said don't go to them remember oh yeah creating a massive big pile of shit for just like said don't go to them remember oh well

yeah creating a massive big pile of shit for everyone because they don't want to get yeah that was it so then right what they did was they did that and then i did the one show instead and then the literally the monday they shut down um but yeah it was a it was so strange i sat and i got it i got the recording up on my phone and i went and pressed play and it took us two hours of procrastinating the press play because I was terrified of listening to it. Because you didn't think it would be funny. I was like, what if I don't like the material? What if none of it makes sense?

I couldn't even remember it. What if it was all about how I love shaking hands and licking strangers on the teeth? Remember when you could just go on holiday and not fill in loads of forms? There is a bit where I say book a holiday and I have to say what was that I added a line there

before this Amber Gambling I think was the line I added but yeah it was really strange I was listening to a different man

it was a different man doing stand up he was a man with one child and he had no idea what fucking toll a global pandemic could take on him

so is Rafe not in your new show Rafe does not feature in the new show oh no doesn't feature oh that's sad yeah does not feature you're So is Rafe not in your new show? Rafe does not feature in the new show at all. Oh no! Doesn't feature. Oh that's sad. Does not feature. You're not going to slip him in at all

anyway? Yeah no he's, there's been amendments but as it stood he wasn't in it at all. Oh no he's the best little treacle in the world isn't he? Yeah but it was I'm back, I'm doing stand-up again it was amazing and yeah the tour's on sale and I'm buzzing.

I can't wait to crack on with it. And our tour. It's going to be great. I mean, you're talking like I'm interviewing you, which is weird. I was telling everyone else. So save that for your radio interviews. Oh, sorry.

Okay. You all right? Oh, okay. Good. All right. Getting a bit leery, are you? I'm really, really yourself again. Take your time with that wine.

Just a thumbnail at a time. Dickhead. It's time for What's Your Beat? Hello Chris! Shit! You alright? Hello! How are you Chris? Barry! Hello Barry! I haven't been for a while but I thought I'd just check in

and see how you're doing like aye? Spot on! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! What the hell? Oh I've just got a recording contract with uh simon cowell that's my new song i'm bringing out hey hey hey hey hey hey the new i'm scottish what the fuck has happened barry what's happening your voice barry it's almost like we haven't spoken to you for so long.

Rosie's forgot what your voice is. Now you're laughing like a woman. This is awful. This is horrible. I've got to go. Bye, all right. Lovely to chat to you. I hope the two of you go as well. Thank you. Lovely to chat to you. Oh, it's short and sweet.

I hope the two of you go as well. Thank you. It's lovely that you're back doing what you love. Oh. I'm really happy for you. Thanks, mate. You're still a doctor? Still doctoring.

Got this dead busy. Doctoring. Oh, chock-a-block. Chock-a-block. Got Goldstone the bloody. Oh, souls. Till breakfast time. Honestly, if you ever need a little nip-tuck,

you know where to come. Are you a surgeon as well? A plastic surgeon? What did you think I did? So you're a plastic surgeon and a normal surgeon. I do the lot. I'm like a triple threat of doctors. You're like... I've got the lot. I sit the lot. I'm like a triple threat of doctors.

You're like... I've got the lot. I sit in the GPs. Then I'm at the hospital. I go to the A&E. Then I'll scrub in every now and again. Right, okay. I'm a very clever man. Right, okay.

Very clever man. Okay. You sound like the one off The Simpsons. Mm-hmm. The dodgy one. Hi, everybody. Oh, I like him. He's a good friend of mine.

Okay, well done. See you later. Well done. Bye. Great, bye. Bye. Jesus. What do you mean?

I think I'm pissed. Never. Never in the world. But I'm having a good time. I'm so sorry to everybody listening to this. But we've done a lot of these now we're allowed to be drunk on one of them

aren't we I think people missed it everyone was quite buzzing that last week was a plonk so my beef with you or do you want to go first

no I'll go first my beef with you this week you and I don't know if I've mentioned this before

but I may have but you did it again today and it's just you do it every day and it's so irritating wow I wake you up it's normally if I've mentioned this before but I may have but you did it again today and it's just you do it every day and it's so irritating wow I

wake you up it's normally if you've had a lie in you wake up and I go are you alright and you go oh no

I'm not well and I go every time guys every fucking time you alright love

you told us a week it was half nine it's half nine half nine I wish it was half nine. It's half nine. Half nine? I wish it was half nine. Oh, sorry. It was quarter past nine today. No, it wasn't.

Yeah, it was. Chris, it was half eight. I came and got you at quarter past nine today. Did you? Yes. Quarter past nine I came and got you. Because you were up all night with Rafe. I'm not slagging you off.

But I could come up at night. No, I was, yeah. Quarter past nine, darling. Are you all right? And you come downstairs. Or sometimes you stay in bed and I bring you a coffee or whatever. That's lovely. I do appreciate that. I go, are you okay and you come downstairs or sometimes you stay in bed and I bring you a coffee or whatever

that's lovely I do appreciate that I go are you okay and you go no oh I'm not well I'm not well and I go here we fucking go

what's wrong oh I just feel bad and I always go well just wait you know leave work up properly and have a coffee see how you feel

ten minutes later oh I'm fine yeah I'm fine nothing wrong and this morning you went I'm not well I have a coffee, see how you feel. 10 minutes later, oh, I'm fine, yeah, I'm fine, nothing wrong. In the small room, you went, I'm not well. I flat out went, you're tired, you're just tired.

Every single day, you wake up, you confuse being ill with tiredness. It's pathetic. I'm just, I'm really tired. It's so pathetic. I'm not, oh, I feel terrible, I'm not well. Honestly, you get yourself five minutes, can't have a piss,

splash some water on your face, splash some piss on your face, I'm bothered have a coffee and then come back to us because fuck me all right all right every day okay not every day nearly every day nearly every day i do do it a lot no i do i'll admit it i'll admit it no because honestly when i wake up every day i just feel horrific i don't know I can't describe it any other way. Every day when I get out of that bed, I just feel like I want to die. Oh, my God. It doesn't last long, thankfully.

It does go. It's usually once I've had a cup of coffee, but it's there. It's there and it's real. I can't argue with that. I don't know how to describe it. If anyone in the history of the world has ever owned something,

that is, I do that. Well and truly owned. Well done. Don't clap yourself. I mean, listen, I just feel terrible every day. Okay, my beef with you, Chris, is you keep beckoning me to the fish tank

to look at the fish. And it's infuriating because I couldn't give less of a shit about them fish. And I feel a bit, can I just say, I just feel a bit bad because obviously we've got living creatures in the house. I don't give a fuck about them at all. If one of them died tomorrow,

I wouldn't shed a tear wouldn't give it a second thought I'm not going to cry if they die but I'd be upset stop telling us to come and look at them and when you do you go

oh there he is and because one of them was a bit depressed the dickhead was a bit depressed Bubbles was a bit depressed he's not anymore and then every time we walk past he goes look at him

there he is and I couldn't give a shit because I've sorted it I've sorted it ironically Bubbles didn't like the bubbles so I turned the bubbles down because the pump was too hard so i uh and he was hiding loads so i you know i sorted the water out and everything i changed the lights i turned the lights off on a night i made sure he got fed and uh i just i just basically waited and uh and he's now he likes the environment and he's swimming out and i'm proud of myself

great i've helped out of his little depression, much like I do with you every fucking morning when you get up. So there. Ah, hey. Listen, if you turned the bubbles on every morning, I'd be flipping buzzing. What does that mean?

I don't really know. Champagne or hot tub. Take it. Take each one. It's time for questions from the public. From the public. Public. Public.

Guys, as always, if you want to get in touch, it is shaggedmaridanoid at gmail.com. Send us whatever you like. Embarrassing stories, you know, confessions, would you rathers, office polls, other people's embarrassing stories. We don't give a fuck. We'll keep you all anonymous.

We're not bothered. They keep coming in thick and fast. And I checked, literally, I checked this morning. I checked a few this morning. I got some. I collated some to read today. And then just before doing this, I thought, I'll pop in again. More had come in. And I found a couple more corkers. Okay, going to hit you with some medical knowledge here.

Oh, I love medical knowledge. Something that I wasn't aware of. And after reading this, I genuinely did a bit of research on it. And it is a thing. And I couldn't believe it. Okay. Dear Rosie and Chris, I was introduced to your podcast by my fiancée just before the pandemic started.

I did a charity walk for cancer in teenagers during the first lockdown and climbed my stairs the amount of times it would take, get this, to hike up Kilimanjaro. Wow. God, some people did some wacky shit. Annoyingly, she hasn't put how many times it would be up our stairs. Oh, what? But I would love to know.

What is cliffhanger? Literally. Literally? I would love to know. So, well done. Well done. She said she listened throughout the journey and it made the experience a lot more fun.

Oh, nice one. Very well done. I would like to do that. Honestly, I don't think our carpet on the stairs could take it. Not the way you fucking clomp. Wow. Honestly, you'd wear it down. That's one of the worst things you've ever said to me.

You clomp too. You clomp. I've told you, you clomp. Why? You clomp. I can just hear you miles away. We've got like solid wood stone floors downstairs and you clomp on them.

Your Honour, get that divorce papers. Get that, what they're called here, the judge. Your Honour, get that divorce papers, get that, what they're called here, the judge. Your Honour, get the judge here. Yeah. Your Honour, get the judge here.

Listen to this in court and then you'll all understand why I'm leaving them and I'll have the house and kids, thank you very much. You're having these fucking foundations

on that guy if you're clomping around all the time. Wrap them up in a bowl. Subsiding on the bits you walk on. Now, you just,

oh, sorry, I'm not saying you're heavy. I'm just saying you make yourself loud. I mean, it sounds like you're saying I'm heavy. No, you're just loud. You're a loud walker. It's fucking horrific. It's like me, presence to be known.

Yeah, well, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're going to be a ninja. Right. Please keep me anonymous. This happened late 2020 and happened to my friend's mum. It's 100% true as her mum confirmed it on the

friend's hen party this weekend nice okay right my friend got a call from her mum to say that her husband brackets my friend's stepdad had been rushed to hospital does that make sense to you friend got a call from a mom to say that the husband who's the stepdad yes a mom's partner yeah i just feel like sometimes i have to slow down with them things because I had to sit and read it. I went like cross-eyed when I read it this morning. Yeah, you can get a bit... No, I understand that.

Mam's partner. I phoned it. Hey, me husband, your stepdad is in hospital. He's a very active man. He swims, has ran marathons and is genuinely quite healthy. Understandably, everyone was very worried. My friend's mum explained that he was acting really strange.

He kept repeating himself and couldn't remember anything. My friend's mum asked him the names of his three grandchildren and he could only remember two out of three. Oh no. He wasn't even aware the third existed. Is it a stroke? The other two are going to hold that over him for a while though, aren't they?

Yeah. Has he had a stroke? Well, he didn't know the name of the family dog and when she asked him what year it was, he answered, it's 2013. My friend's mum used to work for the Stroke Association and she was adamant that this is what must have happened.

Oh. I mean, you know, I don't want to ruin the end here, but this is a comedy podcast that's not what happened oh so he didn't have a stroke why would I read that out and he had a stroke thanks for your email hope he's better

next one hey Chris and Rosie love that I mean come on fucking hell I know you sometimes don't trust me to go through the questions but come on okay give us some fucking credit he didn't have a stroke I know you sometimes don't trust me to go through the questions, but come on. Okay. Give us some fucking credit. He didn't have a stroke. They were all very worried and he was taken to hospital.

When they got there, the doctors asked the routine questions and asked if they had done anything unusual or out of routine. Maybe something had happened that morning, they said. They answered no and they were still very puzzled. The doctor then asked if they had had sex. Well, yes, they said. They answered no and they were still very puzzled. The doctor then asked if they had had sex. Well, yes they had.

But what had that got to do with anything? The doctor then explained that my friend's stepdad was suffering from recurrent coital amnesia. What? This is amnesia that is triggered from having sex. Shut up. She had quite literally fucked his brains out.

Hang on, what? During a morning romp. And this is where the saying comes from. I don't know if that's where the saying comes from, but I had to Google it afterwards. You really intense sex, a really intense orgasm, can bring on amnesia. Shut up.

Isn't that unbelievable? I was on the internet for ages Googling it this morning. His amnesia. Shut up. Isn't that unbelievable? I was on the internet for ages googling it this morning. His amnesia lasted around seven hours and he still can't remember the events after sex. He doesn't remember the hospital or the paramedics. No way. Isn't that incredible? That's amazing. God, they must have really been going at it.

Shit, fucking well done her, like. Jesus Christ. Understandably, they were very worried at the time, but it has given them, and I'm sure the doctors, a good giggle in a very difficult year. It hasn't happened again since, but it's something maybe a few more people should be aware of. Wow. Wow.

Well, I will be aware of that. Next time we're going at it, I'll be like, take your time. We've got places to be. Imagine if we did it. Imagine if we did it the day of the show, of our tour, and then you couldn't remember anything. I'd be like, and gentlemen look at me look what i did the show's an absolute nightmare you can have your money back but hey big pat on the back for me from an arena full

of devastated and annoyed people he's so arrogant you're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Gimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder. We'll be right back. The Centre for Addiction and Mental Health to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind.

So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats

for every postseason game, and you'll only pay as we play come along for the ride and punch your ticket to rock city at torontorock.com dear rosie and chris when i was wee this must be from scotland when i was wee when i was wee maybe aged four my pet pet rabbit Thumba died. Thumba. A very, very classic name. Standard. I think we've all heard of Thumba.

My dad thought this would be a good opportunity to teach me about death. And so got me to help dig a bunny grave in the back garden. Yeah. We dug a hole for a bit, then popped Thumba into the hole. It quickly became... What? What? What? thumper into the hole it quickly became it quickly became apparent that the hole wasn't quite big enough so my dad took the spade and chopped the brain off

what in front of her took theade and chopped Thumperin off. And folded him in on himself. Brackets. Brackets. The noise was sickening. Oh my god. This is horrific. So bad.

This was their family pet? What? What a fucking stupid man that is that's like sadistic oh god it's just fucking hold on watch that's awful that's trauma

there's some childhood trauma for you again oh man it's bad that anything else happen oh man is that it

that's literally it I love little short and sweet ones wow short and sweet just yeah traumatic harrowing

scarred for life oh my gosh that is bad wow babadoo babadoo babadoo bah hi and rosie can't really believe i haven't sent this story in yet but you know little kids sorry it's long but it's worth it yes i know we understand we understand i know i know busy busy especially the six weeks holidays i am behind on everything just every everything pleasurable in my life i'm'm currently not doing. Got you. So there you go.

So this happened a few years ago when my little boy was one years old. I'm a doctor. Sorry, this is not a thing up the butt story or anything medically related at all. Oh, move on. No, it's not. Don't waste me time. Do not waste me time.

Doctors. That's funny, actually, because she had no reason to tell us that she's a doctor. Yeah. Or she just put it in there I'm a doctor by the way I'm a doctor so can I have

large fries and I'm a doctor is the milkshake machine working I have a store of milkshakes as well and one more time for good luck one time please

for the doctor I would tell I would tell everyone and not to be fair it's a pretty easy job isn't it I'm not do you do doctor specials

no this is dominoes okay just checking just being a doctor and stuff what does it say from your phone number because I phoned in from the practice

my practice because I'm a doctor no okay cool yeah actually I don't want a pizza because you know they're unhealthy because I'm a doctor I would No, okay, cool. Actually, I don't want a pizza because they're unhealthy.

Because I'm a doctor. I would. I might start phone places and do it even though I'm not a doctor. You totally would. But you could do the same if you were a lawyer as well. I would do it all the time if I was a lawyer. Did I ever tell you about a mate of mine who crashed his car at college?

No. So he was pulling out of... He had a Fiat Punto and he was pulling out of um he had a fiat punto and he was pulling out oh god he used to do this thing i can't remember his name he's friend of a friend but he used to do this thing where he would pull out of where can remember where the martech was in shields college yeah well tell me about him i might have went out with him you didn't know you didn't know he was different group of friends um but he uh the martech was like a bar and he would pull out of where that was it was only like a 1.1.0 but he

would do this thing where you put his foot down and he would like throw himself back into his seat as if as if he was in a tesla do you know what i mean as if he was like we just go look at him throwing himself back in his seat he's already fucking moving um but he pulled out and uh someone crashed into him oh uh and it was their fault and it was a young lad and the young lad got out and went that was your fault and he went

no that was your fault and he went well my dad's a lawyer so I'm gonna say I'm gonna I'll take you to court I'm gonna say it's your fault

and he just fucking he just left it wow he just left it he paid for the damage himself shit

but but but but but but but maybe

that dad isn't a lawyer and his real dad who may be I don't know what a joiner

has said if you ever have a car crash just say I'm a lawyer because my mum and dad always told me to say that my dad's a policeman that your dad's a policeman

yeah if you ever get in trouble say your dad's a policeman my dad's a policeman what by the police put the guns down the opposite my dad's a policeman right by the police put the guns down right so in this story the armed response are there or you're in america and you're telling the police that's that is the

stupidest bit of advice me dad you tell the police that your dad's a policeman or who what's his name uh derek where's your policeman uh my, my house. Are you lying? Yeah. To the police? Yeah. Brilliant. Your mom's in it. After this, remind us to go and tell your mom she's an idiot when I go downstairs.

Yeah, yeah. No, they are idiots, but that's fair enough. Tell them your dad's a policeman. That is so stupid. Is that impersonating a police officer or impersonating a family member being a police officer? But the best thing was, when I started going out with the police officer, remember when I forgot the police officer, his dad really was a family member. But the best thing was, when I started going out with the police officer, remember when I got the police officer, his dad really was a police officer.

So I was like, I can now use your dad and I'm not lying. But you could say him. Why would you say his dad? Your partner was a big fucking hell. This is absolutely painful. Can we get Robin in? Because this is like doing a podcast with a five year old.

Oh my God. What's this fucking what is in this wine? Listen officer once I saw somebody who was a police officer in the street. Officer

officer officer don't shoot I've got all of Police Academy on video. Dick. Right okay so do you want to get mixed up and start calling the police officers dad dad i'm sorry dad sorry what oh hey listen right i'm a doctor yeah so you said you said that

and put my son to bed got ready and went to work the night shift saying goodbye and reminding my husband he needed to give him his inhaler overnight so it is relevant that she's a doctor no she's doing a night shift wait i'm sorry she's gonna work she's gonna work flipping us down doing a night shift okay and there's an inhaler involved there's an inhaler for our son right because our son says here it was a bit wheezy right okay so our son's a bit wheezy so he needs his inhaler okay and then she's told her husband that he'll need it during the night she's going to the night shift got you my husband woke at just gone midnight thought to himself he would give the inhaler now

instead of at around 1am he then heard a weird sound he describes it as a moan. At first, he thought it was our son, but when it happened again, he realised it definitely was not. Feeling a little, perhaps a lot, scared, he got out of bed and the noise continued. So I'm imagining like a... Like a zombie, yeah. Like a zombie, yeah. He realised that it sounded like a person. He went to the bedroom doorway and said,

Hello, and switched on the landing light. God, you'd be terrified, wouldn't you? Yeah, I'm actually terrified of this story. At that moment, a man with a skinhead raised his head up off our spare bed where he was lying down and then put it back down again. He said nothing and continued the strange moaning. What the fuck? My husband shat himself and ran downstairs in his boxers and rang the police.

Not knowing who it was or what the hell they were doing there or if they were dangerous, I guess. Once he got downstairs, he realised he had left our son asleep in the room next door to the mystery intruder and went back up to get him, waking him up and taking him downstairs. Gee whiz. Whilst on the phone to the police, back up to get him waking him up and taking him downstairs gee whiz whilst on the phone the police he attempted to get dressed from clean washing in the utility room brilliant love that and told them there was a man on his spare bed they asked several questions but mostly whether my husband was sure he did not know him or was expecting anyone because you would ring

if you did fucking hell man what i get i'd be like literally send someone now oh god are you sure you didn't know him are you sure it's not your mate it's not a mirror fuck me i'd be like listen me dad's a police officer why would i bring why would i bring the waste of time look at me learning the comedy. Very good. Look at me. That was a call back.

That was very, very good. Thank you very much. I'm very proud of you. Yeah, listen. What will you get on with this fucking story? We're all terrified. Oh my God. Right?

Yeah. My husband waited outside for the police to come with my son, giving him his inhaler. While standing in the cold on the drive. We really fucking need it now, the poor kid. My husband began to doubt what he had seen. What if the police come and no one is there? What will he say? drive. I'd be really fucking needed it now, the poor kid. My husband began to doubt what he had seen. What if the police come and no one is there? What will he say?

I'm sorry, I don't think I could stand outside. What do you mean? I don't think I could stand outside. I don't think I could go and stand outside and wait for the police to come when there's a man in my house. Well, what would you do, though? Couple of things. I would either try and wake him up. No, you are. God, would you? Well, what's the morning is he asleep is he pissed he sounds like he's palatic drunk still though i

would just be like look stay there depends in all honesty depends how big he was right massive skinhead ross kemp i'd leave him yeah possibly gaffer tape him to the bed or tie him down name a celebrity who you would smaller um the size of um ryan from ryan's toy review the little kid i mean he's a child yeah yeah well you know that big yeah it's small basically if the man was small name a man name a celebrity man right so if he was the size of ross kemp or bigger i would leave him a celebrity man um okay uh the lad from this country the skinny lad from this country curtain uh or um gareth from the office or martin freeman or smaller wow drag him down the fucking stairs by his face and kick him out my front door okay ross kemp are bigger sizes running high very sizes i'm being i'm being this is evolution this is survival of the fittest this

is the strongest survives this is if he's smaller than us I'm ragging him out my house and kicking him to fuck in my garden if he's bigger than us I'm scared

fair enough sometimes small people can have loads of adrenaline and be really hard right okay I mean look Bruce Lee

can I change my answers Bruce Lee was short oh my god you can't put he was a trained fucking killer Bruce Lee was this person might be well he could be but put, he was a trained fucking killer. Bruce Lee was. This person might be.

Well, he could be, but what's he doing in his bare bed? He's obviously mortal drunk. Look, either way, can I change my answer? Right. I think I would, I've got really good.

Tom Cruise, he's little, but he's Mission Impossible. I'd fight Tom Cruise any day. Right. I would, gaffer, I've got really strong gorilla gaffer tape,

like duct tape. I'd gaffer tape him to the bed, but I'd have to get my son I'd go stand at that side and I'd loop around and I'd give him it and then you'd have to pass it under the bed

don't get Robin involved gaffer tape we'd just gaffer tape the side of the bed do not get Robin involved that's some childhood trauma that we'd have to work years getting rid of

imagine when he's 22 and that with his partner in bed waking up he'd argh what's the matter Robin argh just when my dad made his made his handcuff When he's 22 and that, with his partner in bed waking up, he'd go, ah! What's the matter, Robin?

Ah! Just when my dad made his handcuff Bruce Lee to the bed. Why is it Bruce Lee, all of a sudden? Fucking hell. Okay, anyway. Two police cars full arrived and my husband let them in and upstairs they went. Does that make sense? Two police cars full?

Two police cars full. police cars full rosie you know what the conversation i'm having now and how you're knocking this wine back i doubt it's the way it's written love no it is one one one one is my doctor is it not is it not a handwriting probably yeah transcribe this for us probably got a receptionist to transcribe it and they're like i don't know what you're saying. Anyway, to my husband's relief, they heard them say, oh, hello there

and turn the lights on and wake the man up. They dragged him up and brought him downstairs, asking him how did he know where he was and did he recognise the house? It became obvious

the man was absolutely shit-faced and had no idea where he was or what was going on and clearly not in any fit state to be dangerous. Okay, I'll change my answer. I'd have fought him then. If you pull out the drunk and he can't stand up, I'll fight him.

I'll have him any day now. So glad that me and you are here together. He still didn't recognise him or know who he was. After asking him to apologise to the homeowner, to which he said, I should, they took him outside to the car. I should.

So the police have said, you need to apologise to the man who lives here. And he went, I should. And he said, I should. Wow. My husband sat down with a wired and very excited one-year-old. One? The kid's only one?

Oh my gosh. Who had just had a house full of police and was very much awake. He then heard a knock on the door and went to answer it. It was the police. It turned out that the man was the brother of the man who lived next door as his partner came out and took him into the house after seeing him being loaded into a police car. Wow. So he was in the wrong house just next door.

Yeah. Do you know what I really thought? I thought I was in the wrong house just next door yeah do you know i really thought yeah i thought i was i was expecting the biggest twist ever there the police not the police knocked on the door and told my husband and son that they were in the wrong house and they had to go to the house next door my husband got up to get the inhaler and in his days had moved my son into the wrong house imagine that um it says however he went out drinking with the guy from next door and no one knew where he was and the ending here moral of the story is lock your bloody doors as drunk randoms might sleep in your house ours certainly is now yeah always lock your

doors who's not locked in the front door i mean what are you doing i know always lock your front door why wouldn't you lock your door good god well that was um i mean that was a roller coaster of emotions oh fucking hell i mean that drunk bloke we're exactly like that drunk bro because we just went round the houses hi rosie and chris hi just a quick story for you here and a question at the end honestly that's exactly what we expect from you story for you here and a question at the end. Honestly, that's exactly what we expect from you guys. What? A quick story and a question at the end. Yes, that's what we want.

Hey, you know what? You don't even need a question at the end sometimes because sometimes we don't even read them out because they're just a bit shit. Now, when I was in year seven and in my second lesson of the day, maths, I started to feel a tiny bit unwell. Stomach cramps was my main nemesis but farting was

also becoming an increasingly big worry i wasn't sure what had caused this but i've always been a gassy person and it wasn't ever something to be concerned about it wasn't until i stood up out of the chair to grab something and it came up to shock me i felt a wetness in my pants brackets the way i phrased that makes me feel a little queasy i'm sorry about that yeah it did it made me feel a bit sick as well i instantly had a feeling that i'd done the dreaded follow through and i quickly sat back down to feel a squelch oh so she's in year seven it's our second lesson of the day maths oh no and she just shut herself that's the kind of thing at school you don't get over. No.

Like, as I was reading this, I imagined... Is that the story? No, I've got loads more. Oh, right. I'm just saying, just to dissect it before we go any further. Okay, yeah. Like, as I was reading it, I saw the faces of the kids I went to school with

in the scenario of me shitting myself and people knowing that I'd done it at school. So, have people found out that she's done it well so here I am slop she's gone into real detail I don't want me

I almost don't want to read it because it's really but she's literally wrote sloppy poo in my knickers and sit next to the boy I fancied oh no which sounds like

an Avril Lavigne song sloppy poo in my knickers sit next to the boy I fancied he wasn't good enough for me Who by the way never found out about this And did become my first boyfriend Well hello

Well done Hello hello Listen little shitty pants Jesus Getting the boys I asked him a few times Now this is Right

I asked him a few times Can you smell anything and although he did say no I covered my tracks by telling him that the girl behind us keeps farting I know this is terrible

but love was on the line here girls are devious as fuck that would never have crossed my mind right she's shit her pants right she's shit her pants

she's still sat there why hasn't she gone to the toilet yeah that does get taken up later on. Right, okay. But she's sat there next to the boys of fancy. Nick has full of cack, right? Cow pat.

She's nesting on it like a hen, right? But she's going to him. Can you smell anything? She keeps going, can you smell anything? He's like, no. And then the absolute snake is going, oh, that last behind. Boys aren't that clever.

Especially in year seven, boys would not think of that like that is devious the way she's thought of that it's almost i'm quite impressed that she's just started to say the girl behinds farting it's not it's not great is it it's clever though in it like i would i could not have got away with that i would have literally been i'd have been like yeah i think that girl behind shut my pants i mean no but you're genderizing that that's not i don't think i would have said that okay that's not i've met some devious horrible boys i don't think it's

a girl boy thing all right okay jesus take them words out your mouth i wouldn't say that and i'm a girl all right okay and you did shit yourself at school once yes i knew you would say that do you want to tell everyone i think we've talked about it on here before didn't you go wasn't it like it was like it'd been in my pants all, like a past. Yeah, yeah, you just had it all day. To the point where I came home and my mum was just like what's that smell? And she literally made us

all drop trowel and I just had a clump of shit. That's when you wish your dad was a policeman, when your mum's meeting you collectively drop trowel, that's terrible. Right, so I seem to be in the clear and I waited out the rest of my maths lesson. I have told my current boyfriend

this story and he was very confused as to why I didn't get up and leave during the class. Exactly. And looking back, so am I. Fair enough.

Anyway, at the end of the class... Can I just say I don't think I was in year 7 when I shit myself. I can't remember exactly. I don't think I was year 7. It was GCSEs, wasn't it? Year 11.

I don't know, it was college. It was sixth form. No, it wasn't. Anyway, the end of the class was here and luckily for me, my mam was a teacher at the school. So as soon as the bell rang, I went straight to her classroom.

I took her into the cupboard and explained the situation. She's not the most affectionate or loving mothers, but she certainly knows how to fix a problem. A bit of a grim sentence. That's really sad.

She's not affectionate or loving, but I tell you what, when you've shat yourself, she's the only one I'd knock on. She's the one you want around when you catch your knickers. Cuddles at Christmas. Forget it.

Knickers full of cack. Get her on the phone. That's really fucking sad. No wonder she's shitting herself. Let Ryan sit now. Her mother doesn't love her. Gee whiz. Horrible.

Right. So without even thinking, she got me to take off my knickers and she gave me a plastic bag and some baby wipes to clean myself up. I mean, awful. Then I said, but now I've got no knickers.

Staying the obvious, and she asked me why I couldn't go commando. I'm not entirely sure why I couldn't, but I was was 12 so I don't think at the time I'd ever gone commando in my life and I wasn't about to give it my first go at school. So my mam took off her knickers that she was wearing and gave them to me to wear and she went commando instead. Just teaching the youth with your gash out. Oh, hey. Oh.

Hey, Mrs. Johnson. How's your vag? Oh, praise the bird. How many, so in your school, were you encouraged to ask the teacher, how's your vag? Just every so often. That's, I don't know, were you encouraged to ask the teacher, how's your vag? Just every so often. That's, I don't know, that's grimmer there.

You couldn't have gone commando in year seven. No. Because you just couldn't have. But then the teacher going commando is a sackable effect. So I'm torn. Is there a, how far away did they live from the school? Take a break. Your mum's got the car there.

Yeah, go home at dinner time. Go home. Send the kid home. Goodness me. Well, we've talked about when I turned up to school without a skirt on, haven't we? Sorry? Can I remember?

Yes, we have. Do I remember this? You turned up without a skirt on. What were you in again? So it was the phase of when i was at school we all used to just wear long coats you know and long coats first well they didn't first come in but they were popular i don't remember any phases at school great right sorry because you're a sad loser i remember puffer jackets uh i remember puffer jackets then it was cool to not have a bag and

then it was cool to just have a jumper so you do remember phases so yeah no yeah but they're not real fashion phases they were my stupid yeah trainers and a jumper was the coolest thing well anyway there was a phase in us in my school i must have been in year 10 so i was about like 14 and uh you just wore like a long jacket right and so i put my shirt on put my tie on put my tights on put my shoes on and my coat and my bag, walked all the way to school, got into my first lesson, took my coat off, realised I didn't have a skirt on, put my coat back on and then I walked back home to get my skirt.

Did you tell the teacher? Well, yeah, I must have. I can't fully remember. But I just remember taking my coat off and being like, I have I must have. I can't fully remember. But I just remember I take my coat off and being like, I have no bottoms on. I had tights on, but no skirt. And I was like, oh, all right, well. Did anyone say?

Yeah, well, of course I did. Yeah? Well, the person I was sitting next to, yeah. Yeah, and what was the reaction? Just like, where's your skirt? Did you literally go, woof, and just whip it back on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's amazing.

And then I went back wow but I mean probably would have done it faster if I shook myself yeah yeah it's a pity there wasn't a teacher out there

who you were related to you could just have her skirt so she's written here I have told a few close friends and family this story and they're always pleasantly giggling away until the end part which depending on the view of the person they often think it's

somewhere between a little weird all the way to absolutely fucking disgusting i'm now 20 and i always thought it was just a nice gesture from my mom and never once thought it was disgusting for me to wear knickers that she had been wearing right no it's got nothing to do right my my disgusting has got nothing to do with the fact that you're wearing your ma's knickers. Yeah. There's nothing wrong with that. Yeah. It's the fact that your mum is teaching a class

without any knickers on. She closes off this email with, Many thanks, Amelia. Brackets, this is a fake name as my mum was a food tech teacher and I think it's best that no one ever finds out that she had shit-filled knickers in her classroom cupboard sometime in 2011.

Oh, God. And was going commando at the time. And had make-eggs on. Yeah, I love school stories, you know. I love stories of school. So good. That's so funny. So good.

Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah! Hi, Chris and Rosie. Years ago, when I lived back at my mam's, I woke up hungover. I was so thirsty, but hadn't took any water to bed. I was too hungover to get up and go to the kitchen. This next sentence makes you realise

how hungover this person was. Right. I was too hungover to get up and go to the kitchen for some water. The only thing I had to drink that was close was my hot water bottle

oh fuck off no I'm not having that I'm not having that I can feel I'm sorry Rosie I can feel it I can feel the desperation no listen

I have had some absolute sessions right where you want to die the next day you can't lift you can't lift I can feel it. I can feel the desperation. No, listen. I have had some absolute sessions, right? Where you want to die the next day. You can't lift your head off the pillow. I would not stoop to drinking the water out of me hot water bottle. Gets worse. It can't get worse.

Bearing in mind it was summer, so the water had probably been sitting there for a good four months. Oh my God! It's not fresh. It's not even from that night. No, no, it's from months ago. She's going to get ill. She could die.

Safe to say it was rank and tasted that bad that I had to get up anyways and go get a drink to get rid of the taste. Tip, and I've put a tip here and I never thought of this as a tip. Never drink the water from a hot water bottle. It doesn't taste good.

Thanks. That is, that's grim of the grim. That's really upset me. That's great. I'm really sorry. That's worse than drinking the water

out of an iron. Would you drink the water from an iron? I'd rather drink the water out of the iron than I would out of the hot water bottle. Wow, yeah, yeah.

Because that's been... That's like cooled... I always feel sorry for Rafe at the minute because Rafe likes to have a little drink of water during the day. But he's got to have cool, boiled water. Tastes like shit. I know, and I always feel...

I'm like, I'm so sorry that you're getting this really shit water that's like being boiled and now it's like lukewarm and it's just awful. So that's how I imagine that would taste yeah it's bad bless his little heart listen thank you for listening and i'm sorry because i have gradually got uh tipsy and tipsy yeah goodness throughout the episode problem drinker problem drink I, on the other hand,

am fine and professional. Professional? No, that's annoying. That. I mean, that backfired quicker than I thought it ever would. Mr. Dickhead. Thank you for listening to this week.

Guys, thank you so much. Can I have a dummy bit? I'm saying thank you. Thank you for listening to this week's episode of Shag Married Annoyed, which is now part of the Acast Creator Network. Yes, thank you very much. If you want to get in touch,

it is shaggedmarriedannoyed at gmail.com the ACAST creator network yes thank you very much if you want to get in touch it is shaggedmarriedannoyed at gmail.com and we'll see you on tour soon December date's on sale you better snap them up or we're gonna you little bastards we cannot wait

bye bye you're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway the visionary behind the groundbreaking

Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series this unmissable evening features Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Jimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder, April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit TSO.ca.

Rock City. You're the best fans in the league. Bar none. Tickets are on sale now for fan appreciation night on Saturday, April 13th. When the Toronto rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at first Ontario center in Hamilton at 7 30 PM. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats

for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com.