Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 136. Elephant Dolphin

Episode Date: October 1, 2021

Chris & Rosie go way back in to the archives and share some more QFTP’s that never made the cut and they do not disappoint! There’s some classic nail grossness, a strange discussion about fire safety and an interruption from a maintenance man. Enjoy!  Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Gimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder. April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit tso.ca. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Center for Addiction and Mental Health,

to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Hello, you're listening to Shag Maron with me Rosie Ramsey and my husband and theatrical co-star

Christopher Ramsey theatrical co-star hype man one bloody one bloody month of touring and I'm now a theatrical co-star good golly Miss Molly

goodness me hey funny hiya hey everyone hope you're all well hi everyone yes we hope you're all well we hope you're having fun we've been on tour Good golly, Miss Molly. Goodness me. Hey, funny. Hiya. Hey, everyone. Hope you're all well. Hi, everyone. Yes, we hope you're all well. We hope you're having fun.

We've been on tour for almost the entire month of September. I mean, I've also been doing a TV show and my own tour as well, along with the Shark Mardinoi tour, which has been manic. Busy little bee. But we're home. We're home together for a day. For one day. For one day.

Not even a day. It's one o'clock now. We've only just got back. Yeah, and I leave. You're only here a little... Oh, well, no, a day for one day for one day not even a day it's one o'clock now we've only just got back yeah and I leave you're only here oh well not a day because you've got to pick up no no no

I leave at half twelve tomorrow so that's twenty three and a half hours I'm home great yeah enough time to change the fucking water in the fish tank

god and the bulbs gone above the oven two bulbs gone above the oven what else have I got you to do I've got to take the leaves off the wheels of the automatic mower

yes or he's going to fall off oh Chris I'll find loads of shit for you to do? I've got to take the leaves off the wheels of the automatic mower. Yes. Or he's going to fall off. Oh, Chris, I'll find loads of shit for you to do. Well, I look forward to that. That's great, isn't it? Loads of jobs. Hey, hey, honestly. God.

Be a famous comedian, they said. Bloody high life, didn't they? Come home and get all the fucking janitorial shit to do from around your house. Christ alive. Honestly. You know what, though? I hate myself for not doing it. Yeah?

Because part of it is like is like Rosie you can do this but I'm like oh no I can't be arsed yeah the bulbs you're good at changing bulbs well I mean as compliments go

pretty shit one but I will take it yeah shout out to the people who sell us this house because I've never I've never seen a bulb selection like it

oh they left so many bulbs I feel like they forgot I feel like they forgot that there is I've never seen an amount of bulbs that was that was meant to go at their new house unbelievable oh uh by the way to all the electricians listening uh yeah we mean the lamps sorry um yeah so i got told off of a sparky once right for calling them bulbs you went bulbs are what grow in the garden these are lamps lamps. Oh, really? Apparently so. They're bulbs? Listen, I got told off, right?

Wow. All I'm saying is, now I'm conflicted now because maybe I'm wrong or maybe I'm not, but he was a mate of mine. He wasn't really angry. He didn't hit us or anything. It's like pants and trousers.

Right, yeah. We call them pants. Yeah. The things that we wear on the outside, not underwear, but everyone else calls them trousers.

Oh, yeah. So if I was on, you know, this morning, for example, on ITV and I said, I everyone else calls them trousers. Oh yeah, so if I was on, you know, this morning, for example, on ITV and I said I'm going to go on in my pants, they'd go Oh my God! No, put some trousers on! They are trousers. The North-South divide strikes

again. Too much, it's too much. Hey, guys, what's about to happen is, you are about to hear a load of questions that we have had saved up over the past year or so because we are so busy with this bloody tour that what I've got is our fantastic producer Daisy has collated together a load of the unused questions.

And they're not unused because they're not good. They're unused because we just fucking natter on for far too long. But some of them are from like last year, I think. Yeah, some of them we'll still be talking about lockdown and not allowed to leave the house and stuff so try and ignore that i don't do trigger warnings but trigger warning they will be talking about that because i'll be honest with you i slag off trigger ones but that does trigger me when i say i watched taskmaster last night and they're still all sitting apart because it was filmed last time it was filmed but in the thing and

oh hey i didn't like it at all it might be a little bit of an emotional roller coaster but listen because there was times when we were really happy, but then there was times when we were really, really sad. In all honesty, the last one that we just did with all of the other questions, the unused questions on, I listened to it while I was, because I couldn't remember any of them.

I could not remember them. So I actually listened to my own podcast in the gym. Was it all right? In the hotel gym, like a dickhead. Oh, vain. How bad is that? I was on the treadmill and I had to turn it down. I was like, if someone walks past and just sees me listening to my own podcast, I'll be like, what a dickhead. Do you the munch. How bad is that? I was on the treadmill and I had to turn it down. I was like,

if someone walks past and just sees me listening to my own podcast, I'll be like, Do you not even have your headphones in? Of course I have my headphones in.

Imagine. This phone screen, I had to turn it on just in case anyone saw it. Imagine if you didn't have your headphones in and were just like, this is me.

Running out of breath. Me and my wife listen to the banter. Oh my goodness, everyone listen. Horrific. But we've still got a couple of things to say and we've still got, don't you worry, me and my wife listen to the banter listen oh my goodness everyone listen horrific but we've still got a couple of things to say

and we've still got don't you worry a lucrative oh for god's sake hey shush you here it is shush can I just

big shout out a cup of soups having a cup of soup I haven't had one of these for years very professional well you've done it again yeah so again

letting you be on the curtain here dear listener Rosie chocolate quilted shit pig is currently sitting finishing off the dregs of one of the smelliest cup of soups I think I've ever oh so good behind the curtain here, dear listener, Rosie, chocolate quilted shit pig, is currently sitting, finishing off the dregs of one of the smelliest cup of soups I think I've ever.

Oh, so good. She's doing it while, who fucking makes a cup of soup to go and do a podcast? What's wrong with you? I'm really hungry, I'm sorry. I'm at the bottom bit now,

you know when you get all the carrot and that? Oh God, it smells like fucking pot noodle water. It's disgusting. Reminds me of working in offices. Yeah,

it reminds me of working in offices because some dirty cunt would always come in, sorry if of working in offices because some dirty cum would always come in. Sorry, I've used the C word. Some dirty sod would always come in and stink the whole place out with a cup of soup or bloody something heated up from home. I left out wrong.

And this is a very small recording studio that we've got in our house. Oh, my God, all right, my Jesus. The whole, you just go, you got in the van the other day with a full bloody salad with something on and what was it you got, the first day we got in the van,

you got in with like some veg, veg that you cooked. Soup and noodles. She got, that was it you got the first day we got in the van you got in with like some veg veg that you cooked super noodles she got that was it super noodles or some veg in in a van

guys you see what I'm touring with I'm a very lazy chef currently aren't I disgusting the travelling chef fucking hot box in every room I'm in with you honestly

what's gonna happen it's like a duvet full of farts in here sick guys without further ado, it is time for this week's lucrative, lucrative sponsor. This week's lucrative sponsor is... Doing weights at the gym once and aching for three days

with no visible gain or positivity from doing it. You are ridiculous. Waste of time. How did you think that your arm was going to change after doing weights for one session? I did one session of weights in the gym. The next day, I didn't look like Arnold Schwarzenegger in the 80s. You were a moron.

Raging. My back was hurting. My chest was hurting. My triceps was hurting. Absolutely pointless. Don't know why people do it. Because you've got to get past that pain and do it more often. Nah.

You can't just be doing it once and expecting to look different. You are living on another planet. I realise I am. I did it and I was like why have i done that but that's like me weights in general i just find it boring getting on a treadmill fine getting on a cross train or a bike absolutely fine or what are you doing i'm standing moving this bit of my arm to do that little bit of muscle no weights are really good weights are really good cardio they're really good for your heart um runners do. I won't have it. That's what a personal trainer told me once. Urban myth. I feel like it's an urban myth. It's absolutely

not. I tell you, speaking of urban myths and gyms and weights, as I wrote down that hilarious sponsor this week in my phone, something popped in my head that I had completely forgot. Right. So, when we were younger, we were allowed to go to remember body wise in south

shields so body wise was the gym in the leisure center in south shield yes i do you could go on a saturday morning if you were under 16 yes you could go on saturday morning yeah but like you know the rave nights a bit like nappy night yeah like a nappy night but it was nappy morning right great i've been we probably were there at the same time yeah if you turned the treadmill up too high the ladies came and told you off and i did remember one guy turned it up far too high and he fell off and he smashed the mirror behind him uh he was most of only been about 40 and it was hilarious however my mates at school right and i've never told you this my mates at school turned around and went yeah we don't go to body wise we go to another one and it was either west i don't want to slag a gym off here but it was either

Westall Gym or one of the gyms that's like a proper pump and iron gym yeah yeah Westall Gym used to be there yeah where all the stuff's old and rusty

and it's ah smells like blokes they told everyone in the school that if you go there and you go to the back and you speak to a bloke at the back

they take you in a back room and they've got this thing where they'll hang weights off your dick to make your dick bigger. Shut up. Shut up. Why have you never told me this before? I'm not going to say the surnames right but it was two we made. Billy

and Jamie they were both called from school. I'm not going to surname you but if you somehow listen you know exactly who you are. I in the said that. That's ridiculous. You go in the back and you speak to the bloke. He takes takes in the back and they've got this thing and they're like hanging off your knob and like they put they only put light weights on at first and it like stretches your dick makes your dick bigger but then you keep going back and you just get more weights on each

time it just makes your dick bigger question question was that an out and out lie or did they actually do that because that's to this day i don't know but i find it hilarious we need to find out because if they were doing that because that's worrying to this day I don't know but I find it hilarious we need to find out because if they were doing that then that's really that's actually it's really dangerous

really bad I doubt very much they were doing it but they were like yeah you go in the back they're like hang weights off your dick mate

fantastic you've got to speak to this bloke in the back he's not there all the time he's there at this about this time and he takes in a back room

and stresses you to be 14 again honestly so fun and Matt all I'm thinking is because I you get up to be 14 again honestly so fun and matt all i'm thinking is because i used to go to that gym when i was younger imagine working there on that morning oh god without just kids and with gym oh body wise you mean right okay i thought you meant the morning when everyone comes in for a dick i mean you here for the treadmill you here for the dick stretch please sanitise the machines after you've finished

especially the dick stretch exclusively the dick stretch oh that's horrible that's absolutely awful I'm gonna

I'm gonna say it's not true this week's sponsor is dick stretch wigs dick stretches hey is your tiddler

a little bit too short know a little gym you can go to speak to the man in the back and get your dick stretched fish hook it and get your dick stretched fish hook it on

get your weight on oh gosh right okay well let's crack on there we go we will be back

next week with a proper I mean we are here kind of but we're just having a time no but we'll do a proper for real

podcast because we miss it but we just genuinely because you've also got loads of leftover questions from the live shows as well

haven't you oh the questions from the public now there's some people out there who don't believe that the second the entire second section of the show is different every single night because rosy sauce is brand new cues from the pews every single night bet honestly i'm enjoying it more than stand-up because i get to have a couple of beers sit on that sofa in front of arenas full of people and experience them stories at the same time and a big shout out to everyone who's came so far you're just you're just being just incredible

crowd having so much so much more fun i knew it would be fun right i did i was like this is gonna be fun it's exceeded all of my expectations i've not i've not been part of a production or a show or a tv show or a tour or anything like it in my life i'm sorry i don't want to sound like i'm bragging here no it's because of the audience and not because of us. Every single night has been a standing ovation, which is something I've never experienced in my entire career and I can't believe it. Awkward. Yeah, I think

it's probably me. It's got nothing to do with you. Listen, we've got Manchester Opera House left at the end of this month that's sold out and then we start up again in end of November, December. Manchester Opera House we kick off with again, weirdly again weirdly because of covid the way it was all rescheduled uh that's sold out and the edinburgh uh reschedules are sold out in december but the arena shows there is some tickets left for the arena shows snap them up quick because people are starting to realize that this shit is definitely

happening and they are gonna go and it's just so much fun you haven't lived until you've heard 11 000 people singing let's talk about shit i'm gonna tell you that right now absolutely ridiculous we love you all for being a part of it thank you for listening if you haven't come to shows come to shows and if you haven't and you don't want you know just thank you for listening anyway it's just ridiculous and thank you yeah what what's that chris what you're doing a stand-up tour oh thanks mate hey thanks mad random guy in the corner there drinking a cup of soup who's reminded us. I have also got to do

a little shout-out to my stand-up. So, I am... A lot of the gigs are sold out, but the next ones with tickets are the 7th of October,

Guilford G Live, the 8th of October, Reading, Hexagon, and the 9th of... Oh, my God, I'm doing this and I can hear you drinking a fucking cup of soup.

I'm picking out soup it's so loud you're hitting the metal spoon i'm off i'm picking as if me flogging my stand up to it isn't bad enough as if me flogging

my stand up to it isn't bad enough you're moving away from the mic you piece of shit seventh of october gilford g live eighth of october

red and hexagon ninth of october skegness embassy theater skeggy skeggy skeg vegas uh there's a handful of tickets left for day live 8th of October Red and Hexagon 9th of October Skegness Embassy Theatre Skeggy Skeggy Skeg Vegas there's a handful

of ticket stuff for them if you want to come to that and see the stand I've got a wash to put on brilliant that's I mean that's unprofessional that's true

I've got a lot of shit to catch up on guys enjoy these cues from the pews from the archives and we will be back in your ears proper

good and proper next week when I've got more than 24 hours in the house. Right, let's go and do some housework. Thanks everyone. We had a fight about the jingle jingle

We couldn't settle on a jingle jingle So this is the jingle jingle We hope you like the jingle jingle Jingle Hi Rosie and Chris. Hi. You like the jingo, jingo. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Jingo. Hi, Rosie and Chris.

Hi. Until the embarrassingly mature age of about 19, I genuinely thought that quorns were little birds that no one give a shit about. Quorns? Quorns. Quorns. Just let that thing in. Quorn. Itas advertising corn mints she thought corn was made

out of little birds called corns that nobody really so it was like be vegetarian apart from these wangers you can eat these wangers it's it well it goes on to say thought there were little birds that no one gives a shit about and that there were so many of them that needed a goat even the vegetarians would eat them. Brilliant. Absolutely wonderful. Don't eat meat

apart from these. Thin out their numbers because they are taking the piss. There's loads of them. It's like what cod used to be. Quorns. Little quorns. Quorns.

Was she getting mixed up with quails at some point do you think possibly yeah quorns fuck me

that made me laugh is there anything you've assumed was the case and then found out the truth and realised how ridiculous

you've been the whole time well I mean to dredge up an absolute podcast gold moment what leperquassing

oh I mean has to be leperquassing give us a break that's the biggest one ever that's not quorn though that's mishearing Leper-quassing. Oh, I mean... Has to be leper-quassing. Give us a break. That's the biggest one ever. That's not quorn, though. That's mishearing. That's leper-quassing. No.

You were singing it to the masses. No, this... Lep... Belt it out. Leper-quassing. Proper... Proper... You were enunciating the P, weren't you?

I know you were. Leper-quassing. Leper-quansing. Leperperquant. Leperquant. Leperquant. That's mishearing lyrics of a song, not thinking that vegetarians have just decided to eat a certain kind of bird because there's loads of them.

That's great. Come on. So now and then people send us things that have gone sort of viral on Reddit and things like that. And they'll find it and they'll go, look, this belongs on your podcast. And I got sent one today.

And the title on it, it's a screen grab of a post, and the title on it is, My Husband Doesn't Use Toilet Paper. Now, as a man who doesn't really use toilet paper myself that much, I'll jump straight to the shower. Because you go in the shower. Yeah. I thought, what's all this about? It's, like I said before, I've said it loads of times,

people put up with, you know, we get emails and we get things from people who go, he does this and I'm still with him or he's done it. People will put up with so much stuff. This is the worst thing

I've ever heard someone putting up with, right? Okay, I'm intrigued. So she is 22, so it's Reddit, so they write F22. So she's female 22, he's male 24.

That's who's in the street. Right, so she's young. So you put up with a lot more when you're younger. I've dated a few boys over the years before finding my SO significant other. Oh, I hate all... Oh, nah, honestly. I hate all that.

You're going to get very annoyed. Right, well, I hate it when they talk about kids more. Day-day. Darling, don't I? Oh, when they're doing the... All that shit. Oh, shut up. Anyway.

But I've never seen anything as bizarre as what he's doing. Some of you may think that I'm joking or trolling, but for the love of God, I kid you not. I just don't have the will to say this to him, brackets mail 24, or anyone else. So she's not saying it to him. She's not broaching it with him. She's not bringing it up.

She's not telling anyone else. She's literally unloading onto this website anonymously. And this is something that he does. This is something that he does, right? I figured it was harmless to come on here where there's no shame of anyone and nobody knows me. My new husband, they're married. She's 22, he's 24, they're married.

Mostly while he's sleeping and other random times throughout the day, has a habit, she's American, of picking his butt and sprinkling the bits across the bed that I'll find and get grossed out about. What does she mean by bits? So he doesn't use toilet paper. He'll just leave it there. And then throughout the day,

he'll pick bits off. No. Oh, no. Are you being bits of poo? Yeah. It's one of the worst things I've ever heard. And like sprinkling it around. Like, you thought a dog lying on Jaffa Gate was bad. Is that the way he just gets rid of it?

That's sort of, again, yeah, he'll just spread it out throughout the day. This is horrible. I know that people can sometimes be into weird things, but I can't tell you how unappealing it is to be in the bed and spot... She uses a great word here. Crumbs at any random moment. And it really destroys any mood for me personally.

How the heck... This is the mad bit. This is what I can't get around in people's heads. Right. How the heck do I tell him that he has to stop doing it without coming off as weird and condescending love love are you off the fucking planet you like how do i how do you tell him babes grab him by the back of his head and rub his nose in it like a fucking dog, and then slap him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper and go,

no, no, you dirty, disgusting man. Stop picking your arse, you filth. If you wiped it, this would be bad. But you don't even wipe it, you just pick the dry bits off throughout the day, you monster. Condescending. How do you end up marrying someone who does this? I just, that's hilarious. Look here, babes.

I don't want to offend you. I don't want to be condescending. But you know that thing that you learn to do when you're three? Could you do it now? You know, what do you mean, my love? Wiping your arse. Could you wipe your arse, please? So bad.

It's vile.ile oh he does it under the covers and I'll have no clue about it and then I don't want to sleep where there's literally shit crumbs laying around oh I'm so he must just

do you know in cartoons when they walk around with bits of like air coming off them oh the smell the wiggly life oh he must just stink he just constantly goes

just alright mate good to meet you yeah I'm Dave what's that what's that what's that above your head oh there me wiggly stink yeah they follow us round

me flies will be along in a minute pick me arse by the way I just shook your hand wow shouldn't have called me this is oh this is horrible

I bet dogs go and sniff his arse in the park babadoo babadoo babadoo bah hello Rosie and Chris hello two years ago at uni I was in the flat slash building alone.

Okay. I had been apart from my boyfriend for a month and decided, since I had free room with no threat of disruption, I would tend to my lady garden and do some reunion preparation for the next day. Reunion? Well, because she's been apart from her boyfriend. Oh, right.

For a month. I didn't hear that. So she's, I sort of switched off slightly. That's great. I did, yeah. I was thinking,

isn't it weird? I was thinking about where we're going to put these foldy chairs when we're finished because I've got too many foldy chairs today. please take notice

of what I'm saying. She was tending a lady garden because it was empty. The whole flat was empty. She's got a flat to herself and she's having a, you know. I'll listen to that one.

I was completely naked as I'm a curvier girl, so bras and T-shirts restrict my vaginal view. I feel you. I haven't seen mine for years. How have we got all the mirrors on the floor? Without a mirror. That's why we've got that mirrored room just on the floor. Is that where we've got the mirror ramps at the corner of the room

from the wall to the floor? 45 degree mirror ramps. Like in clocks when you get in your shoes. I can see your shoes. For me. For me vag. Vag view.

Right. So she hasn't got anything on basically. She's naked. I have music playing to prevent boredom and the next thing I know I hear my door handle go

and the word maintenance that's what she was doing no somebody's come in oh right well done I dove like a less than elephant dolphin onto my bed but it was too late the guy do you mean elegant

what did I say elephant you said a less than elephant dolphin I just I can't I just couldn't

work in the head I am so tired a less than elephant dolphin a less than elegant so she dove like a less than elegant

dolphin yes onto the bed but it was too late the guy saw everything of course he did flying through the air yeah exactly embarrassing but hey i reassured him it was fine and to come in is getting maintenance round is like gold dust right he came to fix my radiator i had reported broken four months before this so it was already my lucky was here the one time i was got you he kneels right down next to my scattered shaved hair oh man alive but he doesn't

notice so all is good oh no he drops a screw oh my hall's carpet is brown and ugly. Lovely brown carpet. Almost like the appearance of a dusting of pubic hair. This man started brushing his hand through my shaven pubes to find his screw. This is horrible. Oh, man. He noticed very quickly. Looked at his hand covered in my hair, looks at me with sheer disgust, looks back down,

dusts his hand off and said he was finished and left. I have never been so mortified in my life she's lucky because if I was him I'd have just walked in and went radiator broke radiator broke is it might as well put some fucking clothes on love didn't need a radiator how's some clothes on

right round to the buff well done dad jokes why's she having a little dry shave that's gonna that's gonna hurt the mora what do you mean

it must have been like an epilator or just like a shave I would use like on a beard how long's that be used it's only been a

month well you never know must be christ I don't know what's going on she has not a chance

she is she is an elephant well no because if she was an elephant she'd have done her pubes because they never forget oh god Christopher

dad jokes babadoo babadoo babadoo bah hi Chris and Rosie so I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now everything is great other than the fact, I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now. Everything is great, other than the

fact that I have never ever seen his feet. Seriously. I don't know what the word was going to be. There's people living in this world in relationships that I will never understand.

Listen to this. A year and a half. A year and a half. She's never seen his understand, right? Listen to this. Year and a half. Year and a half. Year and a half. She's never seen his feet, right? Listen. God. He only ever wears trainers.

He wears socks in bed, which I cannot stand, and he puts his socks on in the bathroom before he comes out of the shower. I ask him all the time to show me, but he gets really funny about it. He has assured me that it's just because he hates men's feet and because of how he feels about them he doesn't get his out ever we've just come back from a two-week holiday and i still haven't seen them oh my god what about in the sun lounger what

about the pool no no i don't know he must have wore them little you know the little water shoes i didn't go in the pool i on the other hand would wear flip flops all year round if I could and I just don't understand why he's so funny about it so my question is how weird actually is it that I haven't seen them

because it's bothering me now that is to go on holiday yeah and not even say them I've got me to hate feet yeah yeah yeah you've got to

I'm going to put this out there uh huh webbed he's got webbed feet I was going to go the other way have you seen have you ever seen Lost Boys oh

is that the vampires the vampire one long long time ago there's a scene on Lost Boys where Corey Feldman and the other young actors go into their cave

in the middle of the day yeah and Kiefer Sutherland and the rest of the vampires are all hanging upside down asleep and there's a shot of their feet and they've got like bat feet right grab it on like the roof of the cave you are might have that's his feet might have bad feet it's got to be something i mean i mean there's feet and it is quite sad obviously really self-conscious about his feet

you know what it is i'm gonna put it out there they're probably not even that bad they're probably just feet they're probably not feet are mangy They're probably just feet. They're probably not. Feet are mangy. They are disgusting, but you know, you've just got to be. But I think if you love somebody, you've got to love, no matter what his feet look like. You could have the worst clompers in the world,

but if you love them, it doesn't matter, does it? You've got to love your socks because it looks like that's all you're going to see. I know. But maybe,

what? Oh, oh my word. What? He's got a tattoo of his ex's name. On both feet? but when he's what oh oh my word what he's got a tattoo of his ex's name on both feet on both feet

saying like you're the one that I'll never love anyone else more bloody bloody or maybe it's half a set it's like a poem

about his ex across the sole of the feet and when he puts the feet together it makes the full poem or he's got about nine bands right and he's got all the names

on his feet on each toe and she doesn't know about any of them he's got ten kids he's got about nine bands And he's got all the names on his feet And she doesn't know about any of them He's got ten kids He's got ten kids And he's got all the names Rosie quickly fixed her maths for how many toes people have got I don't know how she noticed that I was lightning fast

Congrats He's got nine bands Ten tiny toes Do you know if you're missing a toe you can't walk? No Nine beards. Ten I meant. Ten tiny fingers, ten tiny toes. Come on. Oh no. Oh no. Do you know if you're missing a toe you can't walk? No. Spollocks.

Depends what toe it is. The little toe? No. Your little toe has got no effect on your balance whatsoever. It does? No it doesn't. Well which one is it? I know some people whose little toes don't touch the floor.

Right. Well which one? Which? I heard. Probably the fucking big one you psycho. Which one is it? The balancer. Probably none of the ones in the middle.

And probably the... I heard a long time ago the fact that if you're missing a tour, you can't stand? If you're missing one tour, you can't stand. Bollocks. Right, well... Bollocks. We'll find out with the tuna next week. I'll tell you how I know.

I'll tell you how I know. I'll tell you how I know. Because back in the day, when I was in junior school, I've never told you this. I was in junior school and I went to the toilet. I went to the toilet a lot in junior school. I hated junior school and the day was so long. I used to go to the toilet all the time. And I came back in through the outside door

and it was a big green sort of fire door. And I opened it on two and it just came out with the time. My brand new canvas-assy Nike Air Maxes. And I caught my little toe right under the door and it took all the skin off the top of my little toe. And I went to hospital because I always went to hospital when I was a kid. Of course you did.

Because I was just that kid. And I got the put, right? Did you ever see? Nurses will know this and people who work in hospitals will know this. Have you ever see when nurses will know this and people work in hospitals and all this have you ever seen the the scaffolding thing that they use to put tubi grips on have you ever seen it so if you've broke your ankle or something sometimes if you're in really bad pain they won't just like drag a fucking tubi grip up it's like a kitchen roll holder but bigger imagine

and they put it on there and then they put your leg inside that and then pull it off that they had a really small one of them for me little toe so they put it on me little toe right and i was trying to walk and i was like and i was holding my foot and i was like wobbling around and the nurse went you can put your foot down the little toes got no uh effect on your balance whatsoever and i went yeah but it's hurting when it touches the floor and she went right okay then and i hobbled all the way home and it was like it must have been a wednesday i think and i was in the house and i was hobbling up the stairs and i was like ah me two and i was like hobbling around the house and hopping

and my mom went oh yeah terrible yeah obviously it's not broken it'll just heal she went mind you you'll you're not able to go to Wet and Wild on Saturday now, will you? It was better instantly. Funny that. Funny that, innit? I feel like the hospital have given you a placebo tubigrip.

I've never heard of a tall tubigrip. They put a tubigrip on me little toe. That's how pathetic I was. Do you know what it's called? What? This is for all the little daft cunts who come in thinking that they've hurt themselves

and they haven't. DC tubigrip. Honestly, they must have laughed themselves and they haven't. DC, tubigrip. Honestly, they must have laughed their heads off at me with a little tubigrip on my little toe. Why did your mum let you get... Oh, yeah. Why did she let you get away? My mum would never have let me get away with that.

Jealous! No, honestly. Oh, so you tell me right now, hand on your heart, on the Ben's life, you wouldn't like a little tubigrip on your toe when you were a kid and a bit of attention. Are you kidding me, Chris? I used to wear glasses without lenses in.

I was desperate for some attention. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Jimeno in conversation.

Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder, April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit TSO.ca. This Friday, you must be very careful Margaret. It's a girl. Witness the birth. Bad things will start to happen. Evil things. Of evil. It's all. You know,

don't. The first omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil movie of the year the first omen in theaters friday get tickets now rock city you're the best fans in the league bar none tickets are on sale now for fan appreciation night on saturday april 13th when the toronto rock hosts the rochester nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats

for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com. Hi Rosie and Chris. Hi. I just listened to the most recent podcast episode, 109, the flannel heavy one. Got you, got you. And Chris's justification for hating flannels was that you wouldn't just pick up and use any old mask lying about.

Okay. I think you said that, didn't you? Yes, I think so. You know, like at the minute, because of the pandemic, everyone's wearing masks. And this person has said, Oh, Chris, naive, innocent Chris. Really? Yeah. Here's the story. of the pandemic everyone's wearing masks and this person has said oh chris naive innocent chris really yeah uh here's the story soon after mask wearing became mandatory in public indoor spaces

places even yeah my friend went on a long walk on said walk she decided to stop off at a shop for a mid-walk nibble alas she realized she had forgotten a mask being the good citizen she is she decided against breaking the rules and going maskless but then she saw it a lone cleanish surgical mask bollocks flapping in the breeze on the pavement you can shut up so she picked it up popped it on and carried on like everything was normal. That's horrendous. Yeah. So my question is, what is even more disgusting than picking up a stranger's used mask and wearing it?

Surely there must be something so bad that no one has ever done it. I mean... I would not be picking up masks. How can you look at a mask which is designed to stop microscopic germs and a virus at the moment that can kill you? Yeah. How can you look at that

with the naked eye and say it's cleanish when it's literally designed to stop invisible things? Well, hence why we are still in this utter shitshow a year later. Because people are reusing masks. Can you imagine if it came out in the news that the reason it lasted so long

is because people kept picking masks i'd be fucking furious i'd be so angry oh that's so disgusting that is so disgusting i just sorry i was we're literally in a pandemic picking up some dog shit would be safer than what she did what are you gonna say sorry i was just gonna say you know how the the school children are wearing masks at the minute yeah comprehensive school yeah i just think the people who are putting that rule into place have never been in a comprehensive oh god they're filthy horrible like cretins yeah creatures my comp there would be shit, snot, everything on the walls in the toilets

like you know used sanitary pads would be stuck to the back of chairs and I'm just like really? you're telling me that the teenagers

haven't already devised a game where if someone takes their mask off for a second someone farts on it and puts it back absolutely you're telling me

that that's not a thing so when he's eating right oh look he's left his mask while he's eating right so quick so fart on it and they put it back and you all sit there and then you put it on the guy your mask got farted on you've been fart masked i guarantee that's a thing we are basing this on our comprehensive school experiences though which we know are dated schools are so much

better when i went back to my school my old school heart and to do the strictly training it's a different they're incredible children are children are, the young adults, should I say, are incredible. But still, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think these teenagers are wearing a different mask every day? You think they're getting them cleaned every night? Are they shite? No?

No way? No way? Well, as long as I don't pick them off the fucking floor. Well, there you can. Who cares? Same. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Hello, Rosie and Chris. My fiancé and I live on the top floor of a tenement cares. Same. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Hello, Rosie and Chris.

My fiancé and I live on the top floor of a tenement building. Okay. We got onto the conversation lately about how we could escape if there was a fire. And I said something along the lines of, if there was a fire and you collapsed, I genuinely don't know how I would get you out because I can't lift you. Hmm. Right?

That's a nice little happy conversation. Well, you know, there's not much going on at the minute. Lovely. A week later, my fiancé keeps collapsing at random times during the day to test whether I can get him up. Fucking hell! I've got too much time on my hands. People need to go

back to work. I love them. Like yesterday. I really love that. I hope it's at like moments where you know it's like really inconvenient moments yeah like she's in the bath yeah yeah he's collapsing she's in the bath and the doorbell's gone it's the amazon delivery and she and he just hoists himself on the deck i love that yeah yeah great i always give up because it's quite clear that he's too heavy for me to carry so she plays along brilliant so you understand what it is so if there was a fire he wants to know if he had smoke inhalation from the fire yeah which yeah okay i get it i get it but she plays along because she's like i can't she literally starts trying to lift him when he

falls yeah rather than a couple of lunatics get up off the floor great work you'd step over me of course i would in the practice and in the fire yeah yeah yeah yeah and then i'd go outside and i'd go oh i just couldn't find him i couldn't find him i don't know where he is rosie you're wearing all of your jewelry oh time ran out and he was nowhere to be seen you've got his wallet you've all week. It was hanging out of his coat in the downstairs bathroom. Rosie, you've got his PlayStation 5. Oh, it's rare.

It's really rare. I thought he'd want it if you get him out. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm stalling you. Do you listen to a podcast? Do you like podcasts? Yeah, love you. Good, love you a podcast? Do you like podcasts? Yeah.

Love you. Good. Love you too. Anyway. Right. What way am I? Instead of understanding, he gets genuinely affronted

that I wouldn't be able to carry him out and keeps saying that if mothers can lift cars for babies, I should be able to lift him, but I can't. That's ridiculous. What a pillock. I love him. I asked him, if i can't lift you out and you die would you want me to live my life feeling guilty though or would you understand beyond the grave

what is wrong with these people he said he would be absolutely fuming great good yeah wow can you please tell him that he's being extremely unreasonable here and that if he wants to be saved in a fire, then he should have thought about that before he put a ring on a tiny five-foot-three lady. She's taller than me. What an admitted... Yeah, she...

I mean, you don't... That's annoying because now, even though I think this is really stupid what they're doing, I'm now thinking, yeah, you wouldn't be able to carry me. No, but I would probably collapse first. Why? You've got bigger lungs than me. But you're under the smoke because

you're littler you want to be under the smoke yeah but i'm taller than you you don't want to be in the smoke i know did you not watch the video are you stupid are you listening to what i've even said here you get to the floor yeah i'm saying so i'd pass out if we're standing at normal height i would pass out first because i'm taller than you so i'd have more smoke oh yeah right okay so you'd be under smoke. Oh, yeah, right, okay. So you'd be under the smoke. Yeah, okay, fair enough. Well, you do,

you get to the floor. Right. Stop dropping, that's if you're on fire. Stop dropping roll if you're on fire. Yeah. But if you're in a fire,

you get to the floor and you kamikaze the shit out of that. Kamikaze roll. Get out. I mean... You put a little, a little,

you break the glass in the bottom right-hand side of a window. Right. Because that's the safest place to break it. And then you put your mattress out the window on the floor and you jump on your mattress. Okay, yeah. Again, all of these things that we learnt at school,

which is basically all in... If you're in that room and you happen to be away... I hope they still put them... I've remembered that from school. I hope they still go around with the chip pan fires and that. Right. Did you have the fire engine that was converted into a classroom coming to the school?

And you had to go and sit in the back of it and watch a video? Really? Did you not have that? I might not have been able to go and do that. You went to really shit schools. Well, my school's like... I was a talker and I was quite naughty in my early schools like i talked too much and i didn't didn't really pay attention so when stuff like that happened they always just

let the good kids go and do it chris i've i don't think you get left out no i think it was i think it was he talks too much but you'll just burn just let him burn what no that's not a thing all right all the clever well-behaved children can come and watch the fire safety video. The rest of you fuckers, you're just going to die. If you're in this situation, you will die. All right? The world doesn't need you. And good riddance.

Yeah. You're bringing nothing to the economy. You're actually taking up room. As I said that, right. So what I did was there, I put it on the same rule as the school trips. Okay. No, it's not. I just don't think we had that at our school.

I don't think we had that. My school's were cack. Yeah, my school's were cack. Really cack. Yeah. That was a good day. Okay. It was a really, we went in groups.

Right. Okay. Because the back of the fire truck couldn't sit 30 kids. So we went in little groups. That's fire hazard, isn't it? Absolutely. They know what they're doing. Yeah.

We had the one that we had was we all got given a book in the infants and it was a firefly whose bum didn't work and he flew with a match and he burnt his wings and it was don't use matches. I do remember that. Yeah. So that was him. That was what he did, trying to show off.

Great. So that was, yeah, don't show off is probably the rule there. Just don't show off. Don probably the rule there just don't show off don't show off with matches yeah the horse isn't lighting up like it should don't be using a match good end of lesson that's relevant to everyone i'm scared to light any candles how relevant is that for kids if your arse isn't lighting up like the rest of the fireflies don't use a match and fly or you'll burn your wings. All right, miss. Means football.

Do you know how I learned not to play with matches? Why? When I set my bin on fire. All right, okay. That was the bedroom bin, me and Kate playing with matches. And it set on fire because we were setting fire at the carrier bag. And there was smoke everywhere. I had to open the windows.

I never told my mum about this. Sorry, you opened the window. You didn't break the bottom right-hand corner of the window. The fire wasn't in the house. Right, okay. But that's when I learned, oh, right, I don't play with these. Wow.

Did I ever tell you that I burnt my bedspread with a magnifying glass? No. Did I ever tell you that? I don't think so. I remember watching something. I can't remember what it was. It was like a Dennis the Menace cartoon.

And I think they were roasting ants with a magnifying glass it's Toy Story no it was before Toy Story was out they were roasting

ants with a magnifying glass and I thought that's not real and I did it on my bed and the smoke was coming off and I was like oh my god it does work

it does work and I did it for ages with loads of holes in my duvet cover your mum thinking you're hot rocking out of the place he's only seven at seven yeah from loads of holes in me duvet cover. Your mum thinking you're hot rocking out out of the place. Hot rocking out.

He's only seven. At seven, yeah. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. Back. Dear Rosie and Chris, I feel like I've got loads of stories to share but this literally happened

only a couple of hours ago and I could not help but share whilst it is still fresh in my mind. Okay. This guy is so, like,

you cannot believe that this has happened right okay it's not that terrible but i just think it's really it's interesting it's fresh as well and it's fresh it's in there let's go yeah so like so many my work life over the last 12 months has been conducted mainly over teams video calls they have become a common part of the day-to-day job and are generally incredibly dull today was no exception as we had our monthly health and safety committee meeting dull as a manager within a large construction firm sorry sorry i the idea of microsoft teams or zoom makes me want to cry every single time i hate it the idea of a health and safety meeting over Microsoft Teams makes me want to just,

I just want to be sick everywhere. So genuinely, fair play to you for sitting through that. In your house as well. Oh my God, fair play. You can't even pretend to be, you know, horrible. Guys, you are warriors.

People out there having to sit through shit like that, you are martyrs and warriors. Well done. Good God. As a manager within a large construction firm, I form part of the committee You are martyrs and warriors. Well done. Good God. As a manager with a large construction firm, I form part of the committee who currently meet over teams each month

to go through health and safety issues, etc. Why? When there's nobody there? Well, there will be. There'll be, you know, they can do it from home, but we don't know what that company does. All right, fair enough.

You know. It's a, what is it? Construction firm. Yeah. Well, the removals company removed our house they all the manager people are at home booting stuff but the lads i hate shit they couldn't move us from home i hate health and safety shit oh honestly i know it's necessary but it's just like and they'll just repeat but they'll be repeating the same things every month bend your knees when

you pick this well yeah i was supposed to say that when i worked at all sports i had a a really long meeting about how to pick stuff up and then when i worked at the inland revenue i had a really long meeting about desk ergonomics and how to sit properly at a desk oh so when you go to the tram when you take the bent the trampoline park you say why do i have to watch this video every time i'm like every time you go watch at the climbing wall as well unbelievable yeah yesterday when i took robert at the climbing wall the video was on and he was looking up in the sky at something else. I went, watch the video, son, or at least pretend you're watching it. Don't just look up at the sky.

Please. He's seen it 25 times. But he doesn't listen. He's five. He doesn't give a shit. I know. So, there we go. We were approximately 10 minutes into the meeting

and I was mid-sentence when one of the participants in the meeting decided to light a cigarette. Weird. I mean, bold as brass. She pulled out the cigarette and lit it on camera. Thankfully, I had finished speaking at this point. I did not know where to look. That is really strange.

I did everything to hide my complete amazement having to look the other way in a bid to stop myself from laughing. We were sitting in a health and safety meeting with managers and directors and this woman just started smoking. My boss, the managing director of the company, realised after a second and said, Mary, have you just lit a fag? Why is it weird though?

Why is it? I don't know why it's weird. So it's like, I can't believe. And so she replied, yes, the joys of working from home. Fucking legend. And proceeded to continue to smoke the entire fad. She's my hero.

I love her. She's my spirit animal. That's absolutely. Do you know what? Because I don't know why it's weird. Because she is on a team's meeting. So what's the problem? But it's 2020.

It's not 1958. It's 2021. Just so you know you know so it is you just lost a year oh that's yeah i know what you mean but she's in her own house and it's just a video and it's not affecting them in any way it's like the same as if she was putting a pen in her mouth and she was chewing the pen that's that has exactly the same effect on them in this meeting as the smoking does but it is just wrong it still does sound weird but I'm totally on her side it's fucking great because she can and why not

but at the same time I'm on their side because it is weird it is weird right okay do you know what would be weirder yeah bowl of cereal

do you think so I'm just having the meeting and she literally just bowl of Cheerios just up under her chin like that I don't think that would be as bad well it would

because it would be loud as fuck and she wouldn't be able to speak and it would be really rude well here's something. We haven't done many of these meetings. We've done a few. We've done a handful, yeah. But I haven't...

Some people sit on them all day. Poor our bogus. Are you allowed to eat? Well, you have a break. It would be like... Well, it would be like... All right. I'm assuming if you work in a place

where you can eat at your desk, then yes, the rule is carried on. If you're not... But I mean, she's just gone full... She's like, so this like i'd be very surprised if she had pants and knickers on underneath yeah exactly yeah fully naked from not just that listen smoking it's fair enough everyone's choice not many people smoke in the house anymore not in their own house very much an outside thing isn't it yeah she's just ball as brass yeah in her Probably put it... It's what 2020's done to everyone. It's what it did to everyone. It's just...

Nah. Respect. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah! Do you want one about nails? Always. We haven't had nails for ages. I know. We haven't.

We went through a phase at the beginning just talking about nails. Nails are so weird. Oh, this is awful. Hi, Rosie and Chris. I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years now, but only very recently did I discover something about him

that has quite frankly horrified me. We were sat having dinner and talking about little comfort habits that people have, e.g. my brother used to scrunch the bottom of the curtains in his hands whilst watching TV, etc. Sorry. That was his little habit. He used to scrunch the bottom of the curtains whilst he was watching TV, etc. Sorry. That was his little habit. He used to scrunch the bottom of the curtains whilst he was watching TV.

Right, so we're talking sort of waist-length curtains. We're not talking curtains that go right to the ground. We're talking curtains that just cover the window. I'm guessing so. I'm guessing so. I play with the back of my hair a lot when I'm watching telly and stuff like that, and I pick my fingers.

You know I do. Yeah. Anyway. You're picking your fingers is awful, by the way. I can hear it, a little click of noise while I'm... It's awful. It's got a name. I can't remember.

Well, the amount of times I grab your hand to stop you doing it and you immediately just take it off and just keep going. Because I just find it very... Oh, sorry.

I just don't want my wife pulling bits of her body off. Oh, well, it's not your body, is it? Just because we're married you don't own my body. Get your own bloody body. I've got one.

Well, use it. I do. But every time I go on the bike you kick off. Anyway. My boyfriend said that he used to also have a little comfort habit too. He told me

that he would bite his fingernail and keep the nail in his mouth in between his two front teeth for days at a time. Days? No. I thought you were going to say like until the end of the programme he was watching. No. So, I asked him what happened when he would brush his teeth.

And he said he'd take the nail out of his mouth, put it in his pocket, then put it back in afterwards. He then told me that he would religiously do this when he went on holiday and would purposefully not trim one of his fingernails so that he'd have a nice big nail to bite off on his holidays. On his holidays. People, some people save their money for the holidays. He saves his fucking nail. Oh. When he went to Florida, he bit his nail on the plane journey over and had the same nail in his mouth on the way home two weeks later. Dirty, horrible sod. Disgusting. Tell you what, that's that is impressive though.

That's international terrorism is what that is. That's chemical warfare that. That's absolutely my... That same little nail though in his teeth and taking it out Don't be impressed by it. I'm sorry sorry, listen. One I'm impressed that he's done it and remembered.

And two, he must drink a lot of milk. That is a strong little nail. Just imagine him, right? He obviously didn't go to the theme parks or anything in Florida, did he? Like going on Space Mountain or whatever. Hands in the air, scream. Fuck me nail. Where's it gone?

My little nail. Did you not enjoy the ride? Lost me nail, didn't I? Swallowed the fucking nail. Can I grow another one? What am I going to do on the flight home? Mum, can I bite your nail? He probably would as well.

Oh, he probably would. Oh, I hate him. It says here, I could kind of get my head around this if it was when he was a child, but no, he's 27 now and only stopped doing it recently, but I'm sure he probably still does it.

I'm currently saving for a house with this man and I can't lie, I'm concerned about my future. My question is, do either of you have an odd little comfort habit? Mind, I pick my skin around my nails. She picks her skin around her nails. It's disgusting.

I'll never be a hand model. I like... Never ever. It's a weird thing to be gutted about. No, but even, and you know what, to skin my nails it's all disgusting I'll never be a hand model never ever so weird thing to be gutted about no but even you know Instagram and that

adverts and that you know extra coin moolah and all that kind of stuff Rosie I pick beard hairs out don't I yeah you pick

just if anyone was like do you want to you know advertise this nail launch I'd be like I can't me hands are horrific well you get sent the pack

normally if you're doing an advert for someone, they go, we'll send you the pack, with the product in and with some stuff and blah, blah, blah, and some stuff to film. You'd literally have to get a hand sent. You're like, can I have a hand? Can someone come round for the day

and I'll use their hand? Yeah, it's not good. I pick my beard hairs. You do? I pick my beard hairs. I've got, I've sort of, I don't know if I've talked about it before, but I think I have. I've promoted to sometimes pick my nose hairs so I can sneeze, I've sort of, I don't know if I've talked about it before but I think I have

so I've promoted to sometimes pick my nose hairs so I can sneeze which is quite good. Quite like doing that. That's awful to watch. Yeah, yeah.

Horrible. But I'm sorry, picking it, keeping it in the mouth is so weird. I totally understand biting the nails, I totally get it

but keeping it in the mouth is so weird for weeks as well. Again. I'm falling on the impressed side. You're a bit disg as well I'm falling on the impressed side you're a bit disgusted, I'm impressed so how did he hold a conversation?

how big is this guy? he must have just been like I'm sorry I can't talk to him I'm going to nail him the guy with the lisp no it's not a lisp, he's just got a fucking fingernail jammed between his two front teeth, that animal like some kind of cartoon farmer with a bit of hair but it's actually his fingernail jammed between his two front teeth that animal like some kind of cartoon farmer

with a bit of hair but it's actually his fingernail oh you know what it is right there's some people who do it with like a toothpick or whatever

some people I don't know if they just do it for effect but they do like if they've got a toothpick in their mouth yeah

do you know what I mean there was a guy he doesn't fight I don't think he fights anymore he fought in the UFC he was a champion at one point he was called Benson Henderson.

That was his name. Like the tabs? Well, smooth. Well, it's Benson and Hedges, isn't it? But his nickname was Smooth Benson Henderson. He was, I think, a lightweight champion at one point in the UFC. Whenever the fight was finished, he would automatically have a toothpick in his mouth.

Right. And I remember thinking, has that been in your mouth, the full fight? Because that is the most dangerous surely no it wouldn't have been somebody would have handed him well

imagine that though what's your job I'm his coach what do you do I'll put the ice on him what do you do I'll put the Vaseline on him ah hold his fucking toothpick

yeah proud he's your man proud like but you can't be fighting with a toothpick in your mouth it'll go through the roof of your mouth honestly I don't I don't know.

But it was like, literally, I remember he was fighting someone and he beat them on leg kicks or something. He beat them and they went to the ground and the ref's like, right, finished. And then he stood and he looked at the camera, celebrated and the toothpick was in his mouth. There was no time for him to get it off someone else. Maybe it was in his mouth the whole time.

I don't know. Maybe he keeps it under his skin. You know, these people who... Shouldn't be allowed. Isn't there people who do that? What do you mean? I've seen videos where they kind of like PS their skin and just store stuff in their skin.

That's... no. Like we've talked about that before, about the coin, when someone put a coin in their... Oh, don't remind us of that! Don't remind us of that! Don't remind us of that. Don't remind us of that.

I forgot that. That was the dry skin and they put coins in it. Blister or whatever. I bet he does that with a toothpick. Oh, God. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah! don't remind us of that don't remind us of that I forgot that that was the dry skin and the put coins and the blister or whatever I bet he does that with a toothpick oh god babadoo babadoo babadoo

bah dear Chris and Rosie I need to take you back a couple of episodes to 110 when Rosie told the story about her friend Steph's drawstring bag

right and Chris's mate who turned up at a stag do with a drawstring bag yes my uni mates and I are now all dotted

around the country and we all make an effort to meet up a couple of times a year right this particular friend Yes. Right. This particular friend, let's call him Alan because that's his name. Great. Nice. Alan had driven down, so I assumed his bag was in the car. But it turns out I was wrong. His bag was not in his car and he did not get a McDonald's on the way. His clothes and overnight garments were in the McDonald's bag. Get in! This did not seem at all unusual to him. Oh.

He handed... He handed over for storage at the travel lodge with a straight face while me and the group could not contain our laughter. This is not unusual behaviour and that's why we love him. And that's from Sam in Leyland. He's done that on purpose. Do you think? That's a prop.

Yeah, he's done that on purpose to get the laughs. Do you think? And fair play to it. Yeah, he's a prop comic. Fair play to him. But would he be dead greasy? Might not. Fair play to him. He'd be dead greasy. Might not. It probably wasn't.

He probably specifically picked one that wasn't. Probably got one deliberately. Because who keeps... You put all the stuff in and you crumple it up and you throw it to like... Wow. Fair enough. Good for him. Yeah.

If everyone got a laugh out of it and he had enough clothes in it, then everyone's a winner. Job done. There you go. Babadoo babadoo babadoo bap. Doo doo doo doo doo doo. clothes in it, then everyone's a winner. Job done. There you go. Guys, thank you so much for listening. Thank you. As always, we're bloody love. Like we say, we'll be back with an episode proper next week, back in your ears.

We'll see you all on tour as well. Thank you so much. Big love. Bye! I haven't done my A-Cast creator network bit because you just jumped in. I always go first. Okay, two seconds then. Hold on. Go on then.

Shag Marinoid is now part of the ACAS creator network. You're going to piss people off by doing that. Cup of soup. Yeah. Thanks for listening, everyone. See you next week. Bye. Bye.

Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Jimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder, April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit tso.ca.

Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th, when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game, and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com.