Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 14. A pre-marriage thing?

Episode Date: May 17, 2019

In this week’s podcast Chris and Rosie cover a variety of topics including swear words, women drivers (!) and how they feel about using each other’s phones. As well as this there is some weekly beef and a celebrity question from Podcast royalty Giovanna Fletcher. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Gimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder. April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit tso.ca. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm.

You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com. Hello, you're listening to Shag Married Annoyed with me, Rosie Ramsey, and my husband, Chris Ramsey, who has just been nominated for Celebrity Dad of the Year. Even though he's not actually Robin's dad. Oh! That's, I mean, if I wasn't, that's a heck of a way to break it.

Goodness me. Imagine we just broke it and went, so there's no episode 14 I'm totally kidding Yeah But I'm not a good dad Can we say that? I don't know

Who knows Oh well All in jest Guys thank you very much for listening This is episode 14 Hope you're looking forward to it We are And before we start

A word From this week's sponsor This week's valued sponsor Oh, jeez. This week's valued sponsor is... Valued. Sitting Down. Hey. That's not a product.

Hey. None of them are being product. Hey. Are you tired of standing up? Oh, God. But don't want to lie down? Have a little sit down. It's halfway in between.

Sitting down. Are you a little bit out of breath? Have a sit down. Have you just received some shocking news? Have a little sit down. You want to enjoy a coffee or a cup of tea

or some kind of other beverage? Don't drink it standing up. Have a little sit down. Made songs about it, you know. Hey, guess what? You might already be doing. You might already be sitting down. You might not even know it yet.

You know when you go for a poo? You're sitting down. Everyone's doing it. Get on board. Why do you have to bring poo a poo? You're sitting down Everyone's doing it Why? Get on board Why do you have to bring poo into it? You did I did not

Yeah, it was in your eyes Here's the jingle We had a fight about the jingle Jingle We couldn't settle on a jingle Jingle So this is the jingle, jingle. We hope you like the jingle, jingle.

Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah! Jingle! Hello and welcome to our podcast, Shagmar and Annoyed. This is episode 14. 14. Lovely to have you back. 14, yes everyone. Thank you for coming back if you have.

If this is the first one you listen to, why not go back? Because there's a narrative. There's a through thread. There is actually. Haven't we done well? Yeah, but there's not. I was kind of being sarcastic. It's not like Game of Thrones.

It's okay. I mean, go back if you want because you missed some cracking stuff, but it's not like you're not going to know who any of the characters are. No, I'm not. I'm Chris. Yeah, you're fine. You're fine. Just carry on listening. Hello. no not yeah i'm chris yeah you're fine you're fine just carry on listening hello hello and i'm chris and you're caught up can you believe we've done 14 already i feel like we start every episode going can you

believe it's this one it's like people are listening going can you fuck us count like yes guess what last one was 13 this one's 14 move on yeah but a week passes in our lives it doesn't really sometimes it's more and a week sometimes it's less

it's really strange isn't it it's all over the place it's just a mess yeah we're recording of an evening now Robin's in bed

I just had a little bath sent him to bed it's all good well because we were doing it at like 10 o'clock in the morning and it was just a bit intense wasn't it

it was like doing a gig it was like doing it yeah sometimes when I used to do Edinburgh Fringe they would go like oh you're coming to the comedy cabaret will you do a spot on the comedy cabaret And it was just a bit intense, wasn't it? It was like doing a gig. It was like doing a... Yeah. Sometimes when I used to do Edinburgh Fringe, they would go like, oh, you're coming to the Comedy Cabaret?

Will you do a spot on the Comedy Cabaret? It's, you know, 100 quid or whatever. All right, great. They go, when is it? It's 11 in the morning. That's not worth a million quid. No, I know. It's the Edinburgh Festival. I'll be hanging on my bum.

Literally. Yeah, so we decided to start doing it of an evening, which is lovely, With a glass of wine Cheers Cheers Cheers Cheers What you been up to then

Mate I went on stag do You did go on a stag do I did go on a stag do Came back in one piece Yeah I had an early night On the last night of the stag do

I could not believe that You know What time It was about half ten And we spoke to each other I was just going to bed and you were like i'm going to bed i was like what i was in bed i was all tucked up i'd had i'd had beers during the day and then i had myself a horrifically big pizza like crazy

big pizza and i was like well it's betty pops now this is it so i just please don't ever say that ever again betty pops um yeah so i just um, yeah, I was rock and roll at Stag Do. It's the first time I've been in an airport after Stag Do and not felt like death. Well, you've got responsibilities now. Yeah. Your Stag Do, we didn't have Robin. Oh, yeah.

So it was just hell for leather. My Stag Do, I came back and it was, oh, my goodness me. It was like coming back from some kind of tour of the beers of the world. Some kind of smash your liver to pieces tour. And I don't say that in a lads, lads, lads way. I say that in a, I will never do that much again in my whole life.

I'll never forget, I woke up after the first day and I turned to my mate and I went, I'm never drinking again. And he went, me neither. And then 10 minutes later, someone handed me a pint and then that was that. I know.

All I ate was cheese toasties. Your dad was amazing. My dad still talks talks about it it's like his best time in his whole life we all we ate was cheese toasties right genuinely on my this is on my stag do in 2015 we ate 2014 2014 cheese toasties all day every day that's all we did we didn't go for meals we just drank and sat on the pool cheese toastie cheese toast cheese toastie on the way back i was hanging and i was in the airport and i went to subway and i was like i'm gonna get like a ham a brown bread ham and like all of the vegetables the guy asked us if i wanted cheese and toasted i nearly jumped over the counter and smacked him i was like no i don't manage cheese

you bastard what you been up to? Nothing, really. I've been getting into gardening recently. I know. Gardens look lovely, can I say. Oh, thank you so much. It's very, very nice. I'm really enjoying it.

It's really therapeutic. Costs an absolute bloody fortune. Madness. Like, we went to a garden centre two days in a row last week when I got back from the stag do. I spent more on those two days in the garden when i got back from the stag do i spent more on those two days in the garden center than i did on the stag do no word of a lie it's ridiculous you've got the count you've got like a few hanging baskets you go to the counter and they're like that's 150 pounds and you just think what these are gonna die honestly garden centers

are the greatest they sell kids books toys hoses i love hoses. Yeah. Sheds, spas, blooming, what do you call them? Hot tubs. Hot tubs and that. All kinds. Loads of stuff. Restaurant, toilets. Hey, I think I can feel next week's sponsors coming up. I love that.

Which one? It was Dobby's in Berkeley that we went to the other day. It was bloody lovely. It was lovely. Other than that, I haven't really been doing anything. We've decided to get Rob and Baby sat more during the week, which is amazing.

Yeah, so we can do some work. Well, it was just like, it was getting to a point where we were kind of just trying to do work stuff. I do like them comma things with your finger because I don't know what my job is. She's doing air quotes on a podcast. She definitely doesn't know what her job is.

She doesn't realise this is a podcast. She's doing air quotes is nobody watching us? where's the camera? why did I put all this makeup on? let's not be silly I'm in the drama she didn't know it's horrifying

no but we've decided to get a baby shut your face I can't believe I got away with that I didn't I mean I wasn't listening at first but then I clicked on lovely so we've decided to get a baby

and it's just liberating I should have done this years ago yeah i've had that little shit every day sick in my life he loves it though he loves seeing other people but then we'll still see him on a night we'll see him on a morning like a lot he comes about four o'clock we've gone for a few hours before he goes to bed great then them hours become so precious whereas normally i'm counting down the i'm counting down the hours till bed that's because our jobs are weird. There's no switch off. Like, I've been writing all day at a day in the office

and then doing this on the night. But then there's no switch off. There's like, you'll be on your phone on a morning and then you've got to mess around at night. Don't worry, don't get us wrong. I've got the best job I think I could ever possibly get. Yeah, same. But there's no off.

No, there's not. I'm done now. I'm still on. But we need to start doing that now. We need to do it during the day and then switch off. Got you. She says, yeah. So there's our admin

I little little Crystal Ramsey from South Shields have been nominated for Celebrity Dad of the Year I was going to mention that

Celebrity Dad of the Year I couldn't even say it I'm that excited see in the line up it's mate it's bloody marvellous can't believe it I mean I'm shocked

personally not going to lie. When you said I was like, smiling on the outside, inside I was like, foaming. But you came second though, so I have to win to beat you.

I have to win. I mean, listen, I want you to win for the team. We're a team, you know? Yeah. I want you to win for the Ramses. For the Ramses. You might be in with a good chance.

I need bragging rights in this house is what I need. Yeah. So we've got Danny Dyer, we've got Prince William, we've got Jeff Brazier, who I saw that thing we were watching on Channel 4 where he was talking about sex education with his kid. Oh yeah, he's great. He's got two little boys, isn't he?

What a wonderful relationship he's got with his son. I'm talking myself out of it here, but I watched and I was like, I hope me and my son have a relationship like that when we're all... You will. Get lush together.

Listen. That's the aim for. I'm not going to say this again, so take it in now. Good job of recording it. I'll just put it on repeat. Well, there you go. Okay.

You're a wonderful dad. Aw. And I think you deserve it. As if you'd never say that again. Never. Ever. As if that's a one time thing ever again

in fact let me just go and vomit babadoo babadoo babadoo what's your beef what's your beef what's your beef beef beef beef beef everybody knew what beef curtains were

so I'm buzzing with that that was mad wasn't it there was not one person going what is that because that would have been an awkward tweet I would have enjoyed having to tweet someone to tell them what that was tell them what beef curtains is yeah them what Beef Curtain says now.

Yeah, but everyone got it. Everyone knew. Scratch your mind as we speak. That is unnecessary. I wasn't really. Oh, let's see. What's Beef? You go first.

Ladies first. Are you sure? Do you not want to go first? No, I go. Okay. Beef this week. This week's Beef. It's about the car, Chris.

It's about the car, Chris. It's about the car chris it's about the car it's about the car uh chris has got a new car and chris's new car is ruling his life you know how you buy something and you're meant to own that thing that car owns you that car you are that car's bitch right and personally i'm sick of it i'm sick of having to watch you clean it all the time i'm sick of you i'm sick of you like what's that word when you what's that when you make someone come look at something she's waving her hand frantically what's it called like beckoning you hate it when you're beckoners to the window to look at your stupid fucking car clean. I hate it when now that me and Robin

get in the car you're constant I got you on Instagram licking your thumb and cleaning the seats. Did you? You won't let Robin eat in there.

I didn't see that. You got us on Instagram doing that. I've got it on Instagram. Do you remember Nanan? Nanan give Robin a little milky

a milky ice lolly before we left. You'd have let him eat that in my car. Wasn't allowed to eat it in your car. We had to wait until he ate it. It was ridiculous. We all stood in the porch waiting for Robin to finish his poor ice lolly

because Christopher wouldn't let him get in the car. Right, okay. You know what? I'll take that on board and I'm sorry. And the shine is gone from the car and I don't really like the car that much anymore because yesterday our turd of a child scratched the shit out of the bonnet

while I was waiting to take him to the nursery, and it's weird. The shine's kind of gone off it. Has it really? Because I cleaned it yesterday, right, after we'd done it, just to get all the dirt off it, and then I kind of, when I normally wax it like a loser, I really just gave it a really quick going over.

I was like, no no i was not that bothered like i don't know it's if the shine is starting to go when i you know what i'm like man when i get a new thing i'm buzzing when i first got robin i was amazed not protecting me that now i just like throw them really about really throw them down the stairs kick them no i yeah uh i've never had a let things on you i've never had a really nice car you let things own you I've never had a really nice car listen anyone listening don't give me that shit

you've had loads of nice cars we rented them this is mine I've never had a really nice car like a me did you buy did you buy that yes

you only buy it well no I'm paying but you know it's not a rental car they're not going to take it off us in six months like they normally do

alright okay I didn't know that you didn't tell me that it's my car I've got it for four years I've the four years on that you've got to have a four years yeah so we've got to live in this hell for four years now he scratched it now so i'm not that no when i saw the scratches and i was like i might just scrap this it's done oh shut up just stop right okay i know it's it's lovely it's a nice car okay I've never been a car guy it's really weird

like you've never been a gardener but you're a gardener now and I'm a car guy now oh god what have we become yeah old mate that's what we've become

old as fuck oh I've just hurt my neck by laughing oh god there we go point proven literally falling apart what okay I'll try and not be as weird with the car point proven literally falling apart what

okay I'll try and not be as weird with the car my beef with you is it's a long going beef you are genuinely and I know some

I know some great singers right you are one of the greatest singers I know your voice is beautiful I love it thank you love your voice you're a brilliant singer

you're always singing it's lush you know the lyrics to no fucking song ever in the world ever even the stuff you performed when you used to sing live all the time you don't know the lyrics and i don't know how it's possible i don't know how it's possible not know the lyrics to anything say the main word and just your way through the rest of it make a noise that sounds a bit like the thing. Tell everyone, when you used to sing that Madonna song, right? And it's... Let the choir sing.

When you come... What did you used to think? And sing, it shows that people were paying you for. What did you used to think the words, let the choir sing, were, Rosemary? Tell everyone. So we're talking... When you call call my name it's like a little prison let the choir sing what did you used to think let the choir sing was

lepacuasing lepacuasing rosie was on stage in venues being paid money as a job, as a professional singer, and she was saying to everyone, Leperquasink! I thought it was French! You thought it was French. Leperquasink. Leperquasink.

Leperquasink is a... Leperquasink! Leperquasink is a special pastry that they give to people whose limbs are falling off. A leper croissant. A leper croissant. Covered in scab.

You don't know the lyrics to anything and it's craziness. I know. It's so... Do you know what it is? And it feeds into the fact that you're asking me

how to set up a different bank account a day so you can put savings across and you asked us and I started explaining and you immediately switched off I saw it in your eyes you just fucking switched off

you go how do I do that and I went this is how you do it and then you went and you were just completely not looking at us and then at the end you went oh well as long as I know

how to do it but you weren't listening were you and you went no and I had to tell you again I know I just I've just got no time you've got no retention you've got no knowledge retention

I'm not very academic you know it's got nothing to do with being academic it's got nothing to do with putting a bit of effort and then not being pig headed and going I'll just say leper quassink

who gives a fuck just listen right I just didn't know that line it wasn't until I did it on karaoke I was like what I forgot that

I forgot that you did it that was it so you, what? I forgot that. I forgot that. You did it. That was it. So you did it professionally for years. And then years after that, you were doing it on karaoke and you were like, this is wrong. I think they spelt leper quassing wrong. Honestly, it was like, let the choir sing. And then all the choir joins in.

So it makes total sense whereas leper quassing the lepers all started quassing and hey mate you should have heard me rendition of fame

it was just horrific Jesus so anyway yeah listen I agree with that beef yeah but I can't do anything about it

because there's lyrics a to z lyrics dot com or whatever it is just you want to sing something in the house just get it on your phone I'm not doing that well I'm not going to listen anymore well no one's asking a to z lyrics dot com or whatever it is just you want to sing something in the house just get it on your phone I'm not doing that

well I'm not going to listen anymore well no one's asking you to listen I'm going to run in and shout run in the rooms and shout at you

I'm going to get one of them bottles that you spray indoor plants with and I'm going to come in and spray you like you know when a dog's done

something wrong just when I hear your lair but hey stop it bad girl down down off that bench No, get out. Just when I hear you laugh. Shh, shh, shh. Hey, shh. Stop it. Bad girl. You're horrible. Down. Down off that bench.

Just wait till I kick your car tomorrow. You prick. You would not. I flip and would. Okay, it is time for questions from you, lovely people. Questions from the public. I've got the first one here. You're right.

You're right. So you know what's happened here, everyone, here right what's happened here is i normally source the questions and i have them ready but rosie like a little like a kid doing doing an apprenticeship at news round doing some work experience she's printed them off today on two different bits of paper so normally i say as avid listeners will know i'll say it's time for a question from you lot and rosie goes question for the public public public public public we were all waiting for that as i i'm sure you understand this listener but you're sitting there with a little bit of paper in front of her do you know when it used to go dark on the news and they used to crack them on the tip that's what you're sitting like

shut up sorry god you didn't have canon it's a bloody it's a bloody podcast imagine i didn't guys if you want to get in touch shagmoud annoyed at gmail it's just noted that's that's unbelievable if you want to get in touch shagmoud annoyed at gmail.com and rosie's instagram because i don't read the messages questions from the public public she's back in the room okay hi chris and rosie quick question when me and my husband leave the house to go to the shops or just for a quick trip somewhere he insists on us both taking our sets of keys why capital letters i don't like to as i like the very rare times i don't need a bag we have a one-year-old so i just get him to take his keys as he's already going to take keys in his pockets anyway there was no time in us there was no point in us both taking our sets of keys when

we're going to the same place and coming back together. Who's right and what do you guys do? And then she's put, love Harriet from Rushington with an exclamation point at the end. Okay. So I enjoyed that a lot. Thanks, Harriet. Harriet from Rushington.

I wonder where that is. No idea. I think it's next to Flushington. Anyway. Twinned with take Your Time-ington. I wish everyone could have seen your eyes as you literally took your time to get that joke. That was beautiful.

Why have you caught us in a giggly little mood? That was like asking a dog what time it was. Your little eyes. And you're like, is it walkie time? It's walkie time. I totally understand where he's coming from. You would. Yeah, yeah.

I totally understand where he's coming from. Because, my God, I was so passive aggressive. I actually hurt. Because, yeah, what if you both go out and then it's like, oh, you know, something happens. It's like, quickly, all right, you stay at your mom's. Oh, now I'll go back home and do this. And then we did it

on a night out before. We both went out and I got locked out. We talked about it on the podcast before. I got locked out and I just walked around the garden like a dog.

No, I agree that because I think we're living in a modern world now that, you know, you're not, it's not always just

go out together, go back home together. Loads of stuff happens. Like someone ends up ringing and you go, oh, I'm just going to pop there for an hour.

Blah, blah, blah. Robin needs this. So, yeah, two sets of keys at all times. Two sets of keys. Harriet from Washington. Because, honestly, you walk around,

I've got to say, you walk around your house thinking, hey, you know, if you're locking it on a night or whatever, when you go into bed, you're like, oh, is my house secure?

Get yourself locked out of your house one day. See how hard it is to get in. It's a frigging nightmare. Yeah, it is, isn't it? I've never been locked out before. It's a frigging nightmare. Yeah, it is, isn't it? I've never been locked out before. It's a frigging nightmare. Yeah.

Do you know, totally sort of on the subject of walking around outside the house, do you know there's a cat that walks past our window at almost exactly the same time every night? What? No, I don't know.

Well, there's a cat. The security light goes off and all I've looked at is the same cat just doing its rounds. Really? Yeah, same time every night. It's freaking us out. Like a security guard? Like a security guard. same cat just doing its rounds. Really? Yeah. Same time every night. It's freaking us out.

Like a security guard? Like a security, like, yeah, like a security, or a spy. One of the two. Because I'm not, we don't have a cat so I don't know

what the crack is. I don't know what's going on. Catadics. But I know, careful, a lot of people are going to hear that.

Sorry guys. But I know people just let them out and it just walks out. Because this is why, this is why I find, right, okay, I'll take that back. Not all catadics but most catadics. I just let them out and it just walks out because this is why this is why I find right okay I'll take that back

not all cats are dicks but most cats are dicks I just find them a really really weird I don't know why they're pets right

I think cats should just be allowed to do what they want but they fucking are by the sounds of things well this is what I mean they don't they don't like their owners

they don't love them it's fair I'll be honest with you yeah you can't say that they don't love them but I know what'll be honest with you yeah you can't say that they don't love them because but i know what you mean a cat is one of the only pets where you can tell it's got disdain for the owner but the owner's like nah it's kind of like a tenant that they can't get rid of yeah i've never had a cuddle from a cat no no cat i've ever met has been excited to

see me that's because they listen to podcasts and here you're calling them dicks well good i feel the same about uh rabbits guinea pigs and hamsters and mice and rats no they don't know you that at least a cat will know that you're its owner it'll kind of know what's going on rabbits they're just trying to escape no they're just yeah well they are yeah shite yeah but what about what about the carl's cat cat Carl's cat is lovely right okay I bet the last owners don't think that oh right okay backstory

Carl Hutchinson's cat do you want to tell it I want to hear Carl Hutchinson who I know will be listening to this now supports me on tour if you've seen me on tour he just nicked a cat from someone the cat just came to his house

he started feeding it and then that was that the cat basically well no next door neighbour wasn't it who owned the cat but I think actually I think that his that previous owner got a kid or something

and then they didn't have much time for the cat, so the cat went and played away and found Carl. Selfish. Yeah, selfish. Of the people. No, the cat. Of the cat? Why the cat? Oh, because I'm not number one priority anymore.

Why are you getting pissed off at this cat? You don't even know it. I just don't really like cats. I don't know why. Carl's cat off at this cat you don't even know it I just don't really like cats I don't know why Carl's cat's a lovely cat she loves me you know who else's cats are really good

comedian Russell Kane I stayed at his house once name drop his two cats Keith and Wayne Essex cats you call them Keith and Wayne I swear to god right

he trained them like dogs you'd come in and they'd be all over you and they'd lie on the floor he could mop his floor with his cat the cat would lie down and you literally hold it and you could like skid it along the lino and it loved it he trained them like dogs it was amazing so you can't it is possible okay but yeah i watch a lot of cat videos on the internet and there's a lot of people saying yeah my cat's a dick but what are you gonna do maybe they just haven't met a nice

one yet cats are the ones where you get it though and if it's a dick you go i'm stuck with this this is it i think that's what it is you're just stuck with a dickhead cat possibly is that cat gonna hear this and come and attack us it's just more past now when he looks fucking devastated i'll be honest with you got a question yeah hi rosie and chris got a quick question for you i go on holiday in 10 days today and i want to get my suitcase packed now but my boyfriend always waits till the last minute when you pay are going on holiday how far before you go do you pack and who was the first to pack oh um back in the day pre-robin yeah i used to quite enjoy packing yeah i used to find it quite therapeutic i'd do it a few days before now it's just a pain

in the backside and i kind of just do it that no no it's so much of a pain in the backside you've got to do it like a week in advance so you know you've got everything his bag your bag you just yeah my bag judging from what i say you went on holiday you just haul you all that shit last minute yeah wow wow I must have told you about when I was going on my first

lads holiday have I mentioned this on the podcast I was going on my first lads oh no but please please tell this story my mum brought this up

the other day actually this is a lovely story so I was going on my first lads holiday Thalaraki I was 16 years old so I went to like USC

and like Tushy you were 16 yeah I went to like USC and like Tushy. You were 16? Yeah, I went to follow it. You might have let you go on holiday when you were 16. Yeah, it's craziness. Wow. And I worked in all sports.

I was saving up money. Saving up money when I worked in all sports. And I went on the all sports staff night out. And I had packed my case, all my new clothes, literally 12 days before my holiday. I had it all packed. Bless you. Get open, lush. I had a lovely white shirt. I remember, I'll never forget it. my case all my new clothes literally 12 days before my holiday i had it all packed get open lush i had a lovely white shirt i remember i'll never forget it um it was like it was you know

when the sort of creased look was in and everything was like uber crisp creased no it wasn't linen it was just like it looked like you know tie-dyed but without just the tie not the dye so it was like everything was right that kind of thing right and it was a crisp white and it was lying on top of my case and all i need to do is shut the case and i went on the all sports night out and i climbed into bed mortal drunk and in the middle of the night i lent out my bed and i hoid up um all of the sort of vodka red bulls and all of the um we went we went on italians beforehand so i had like bolognese and pasta onto the white shirt into into the white shirt. It was in the pockets. It was all over the place.

Full suitcase, hoid up in. In the full suitcase, not just on the shirt? Full suitcase. Well, the shirt was the top, so then you got the shirt out and then you sort of tried to cup as much in, but it seeped through. Oh, my God. Sort of the top three levels.

I think I got a new suitcase just covered in sick. What happened to the clothes? My mom washed them and, by God, got every stain out of that white shirt i've never seen anything like what you did with that i looked at it the morning i went well that's not good and it wasn't a bloody water and fallow raggy see moms are great moms are brilliant but yeah filled it with sick that's so yeah guys don't pack early because it just gives you an extra receptacle to be sick if you need to and answer that question

you literally pack the night before, don't you? I'm a professional packer. That's what I do for my job. Yeah, bish, bash, bosh. Yeah, bish, bash, bosh. Plus, can I just say, I don't pack Robin's stuff. So hands up, you pack his stuff. You do all that.

Well done, you. I'm very... If it was up to me, he would have, honestly, a spare pair of my swimming shorts. The one he owed that white shirt for dinner. That white shirt covered in sick. Stip it in the pool mate it'll be Harry

babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo this Friday you must be very careful Margaret it's a girl witness the birth

bad things will start to happen evil things of evil it's you know don't the first omen I believe

the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil. Movie of the year. It's not real. It's not real.

It's not real. Who said that? The first omen. In theaters Friday. Get tickets now. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre

in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge

to raise funds for CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together

and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Dear Chris and Rosie, this is a question that has bugged me for some time now, so let me give you a bit of context, okay? I have nothing to hide, so I'm absolutely fine when my girlfriend asks to use my phone or just starts using it.

Whereas, if I use hers, she gets very funny about it and may go on certain things like her Snapchat, okay? When she goes on my phone, she regularly goes through my chats, especially with my mum. But when I do the same to her, suddenly it's an invasion of her privacy. So my question is, how do you feel about going on each other's phones? I'm sure you both have nothing to hide, but do you care if the other starts using it for something like a quick Google? Please keep this anonymous. Wow. What do you think i can i first point out that he started that with uh i have nothing to hide and ended it with please keep

me anonymous so i'm getting mixed signals here dude um see now we have a joke don't we whenever you if you grab my phone to normally it's to take a to send yourself a photo i've took of you and robin yeah and you grab my phone and i'll give you the phone and i always go don't read me texts all right now i don't know if you've ever actually read them but there's nothing there um the only time i actually haven't wanted you to read me text was um in the run-up to christmas and birthdays if i've been ordering anything for you i don't like you to see my emails in case there's an Amazon thing of something I've ordered. It wouldn't bother me at all if you wanted to sit and go through my texts

because I've got nothing to hide. But I would be concerned that you felt like you had to do it. Does that make sense? Oh, totally. I find it really weird. I find it so weird when people feel the need to check the partner's phone

because it's like, if you are at that stage where you need to check the phone, the trust is gone. Completely. And I just find it, I find it even worse when people have only been together, like not very long. And they're checking phones and you're like, why? What are you doing? Also, how fucking boring. Who wants to read all that?

I know. What are you doing, love? Reading all the stuff with him and his mam? How boring. Jesus Christ. That's a bit strange, isn't it? Yeah. But then she doesn't. So when he then tries to read hers.

I know. She won't have it. Hashtag dodgy. Dude, you're getting gaslighted here, mate. Run. Yeah. Run. Or maybe just say, stop looking at me phone.

Look, I've got nothing to hide. But it's really, let's not look at each other's phones. It's pointless. True. And if she's listening, just do what Chris does and cheat on her at Christmas. That is slander

and I'm not having it. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. Okay. So the subject on this one was bloody woman drivers. Jesus. Well, that got me back up straight away, right?

Oh, God. Can I just say, good luck to whoever emailed this. She's going to have you. Okay. No, you'll like it, though. You ready? Dear Chris and Rosie, my question is,

do you think it's the man's job to drive all the time? I've been with my missus around nine months, and I think she's driven twice, both when I've been too hungover and only to mcdonald's i like being the passenger too and think it's bloody unfair but she says i'm the man and it's my job and she doesn't like driving she also won't phone the takeaway for some reason and then he signed it that's craig so that's brilliant craig thank you I think you meant to put thanks Craig but it's just that's Craig that's Craig

that's Craig hey that's Craig wah wah wah wah wah wah so next week on that's Craig

it made me laugh a lot when I was reading it so oh I love that well done take it in that's Craig yeah so that started off and I Take it in. That's Craig.

Yeah, so that started off and I was like, oh, come on then, Craig. Going to slag up. But no, he's actually saying that she just doesn't like driving. Can I just say, hats off to Craig. I think he's done that on purpose.

I think he's done that, put it in the subject title, like bloody woman drivers and then you've, yeah, and you know you've seen it and he's, yeah, fair play.

He's done you there. He's trolled you. He's click baited you. Hasn't he's yeah fair play he's done you there he's trolled you he's click baited you hasn't he he has you've been click baited totally I was well in there

so my thoughts on this you flipping love driving everywhere I do love driving everywhere I like driving too alright then but you always say

you want to drive well you yeah well when you want to drive you can drive it's simple as that sometimes I really like to but if you really want to do i'd let you but i think it's not a gender thing you'd let us would you oh would you dickhead oh jesus you'd let us all right okay all right one eye open ramsay one eye open um i don't think it's a gender thing i think it just sounds like like his wife or girlfriend doesn't like driving.

But to turn it around and say it's a man thing. Yeah, that's a bit weird. It's a bit shitty. Yeah. To turn it around and go, oh, no, it's a gender thing. Just because you can't be arsed. You can't be arsed, love. See, you can't be arsed. Just be honest.

Yeah. Anyway, thanks. That's great. No, also. She won't ring the takeaway. You won't. Rosie, you don't ring takeaways. I know.

You don't ring takeaways. You don't ring room service and hotels. You don't answerie you don't ring takeaways i know you don't bring takeaways you don't bring room service in hotels you don't answer doors in hotels no do you know what for being a really confident person yeah i'm gonna hate using the phone really you do i mean i don't know why it could be really important there could be a really important thing about to happen like it'd be like oh quick we need to go to london now for like a massive job see if your mom can have robin tonight and you text her like you would text 999 if there was a text in 999 service absolutely yeah you're texting the text back press one for fire yeah like i don't know why i mean i would ring me mom can we just clarify that honestly you prefer text over everything i do yeah i wish we could text this marriage.

I just wish we could just text each other all the time, not have to speak. I mean, what is this podcast? Wow. Look at it. Wow. I'm pushing myself here. But isn't this a weird thing?

I used to do this as a job. I used to present on the radio. Rosie, this is still your job. Will you stop saying you haven't got a job? All right, this is my job. Sorry, I'm doing a podcast, but why can't I use the phone? What's the matter with me? What's the matter with'm doing a podcast but why can't I use the phone what's the matter with me what's the matter with this

loads of people don't like using the phone my friend of mine you phone him up and it goes to his answer machine cheeky bastard you know who you are if you're listening it says hi

such and such leave us a message or send us a text because I don't like listening to me messages and the phone goes down who's that alright sweetheart

you don't listen to me messages do you not button strap a pair on who is it? It's Jason Cooke. Hi, it's Jason. You've missed me. You can leave a message

or you can send us a text because I don't really like listening to your messages. You're pathetic. Yeah, Jason. I'll at least listen to your messages. I just won't bring them back. I've already slagged him off

for his vape and he's going to have a right go now. He listens to these when he's going to gigs. He saves them up. Sorry, Jason. When I slagged the vaping off he went off it. What? What he off for his vape and he's going to have a right go now. He listens to these when he's going to gigs. He saves them up. Sorry, Jason. When I slagged the vaping off, he went off it. What?

What he does? His vape stinks. It's funky. It doesn't. It smells like cake and it makes us fat. Fruity rung stuff. I always go and buy cinnamon and cinnamon rolls in that when I've had it because it smells amazing. If I'm sitting in his office and he's mad, I'm like, I go out.

I wonder why I want loads of cake for my dinner. It's because he's been blowing cinnamon fairy dust in my face all day. Okay. Are you ready for some juicy gossip? Yes, always. Okay. Strip yourself in, right? Come on.

It's a very long one. Yes. Dear Rosie and Chris, slight backstory is needed for this. Okay. You ready? Yeah. My dad has been with my stepmom for almost 20 years me and my siblings met her children when we were quite young around the ages of six to ten there's six of us all together

we've grown up like a proper family and not a step family lovely so i have a son with my ex who i was with for over eight years my ex is is now with my stepsister, and they have just had a baby. I even got a message from a member of his family on the day of the baby's birth, telling me to congratulate my son on his new sister slash cousin, in those words. They don't seem to see anything wrong with this, and of course I'm the bad one for having a problem with it all. My son still calls her auntie. Is this something you would have a problem with?

How would you deal with it being in my shoes? I think they're a bunch of arseholes but I keep it all to myself for my son's sake as he obviously still loves his dad. I'm also happy to email again if you have any questions. Anonymous. Holy shit. loves his dad I'm also happy to email again if you have any questions anonymous holy shit that is

that is I mean I've had bloody neck reams that weren't this juicy so let's get this straight so her ex who they have a child with

who they have a child with is now has now had a child with her stepsister who is pretty much her sister because they've known each other

since they were really young shit the bed it's just awkward so her ex is now with her step her ex is now with her stepsister so that bloke

is now with her stepsister so congratulate your son on his sister slash cousin that's madness I know do you know it's one of the

really hard things because life is messed up sometimes and I don't want to outwardly be like oh my god because I don't know

you don't know you don't know what's going to happen in your own life and you can't ever say but at this moment in time nothing that weird is happening in our lives right now.

So I can literally sit and go, that's messed up. Yeah. But I don't know. I feel, I would feel the same as her. I'd be gutted. Yeah.

It's a bit, it, I mean, it is the dictionary definition of shit and weed. Really? Yeah. Like what's he doing? Why is it?

What? How am I? It's the dictionary. I mean, but there's, there's stories of people who like, do you he doing? Why is he... How am I a man? It's the dick... I mean, but there's stories of people who, like... Do you know the stories of people who... They'll be going out with a twin and they'll divorce the twin

and then marry the other one. I'm sorry, but no, na, na, na, na, na. It is bizarre, isn't it? Yeah, it's... That's so weird. It's like the same person. There's so many people in the world. But yeah.

So many people in the world. Back yeah. So many people in the world. But this one though, the stepsister one, like going out with the steps, I mean, oh, I don't know. I mean,

people do it, you know, I don't know. There's no blood relation there. Yeah. But it wouldn't matter anyway because it's not like he was only married to her.

So he's married to her and he's got a stepsister. So, you're never going to be happy, are you? You're never going to go, oh, here we go. There's me. You know, you're going out with me sister now.

Hey, it didn't work out for us, but you're going out with me sister now. Christmas will be fun. Yeah, it's going to be so weird. Wow. I haven't got much to say to that other than thank you for sending that in. I think it's like, honestly, are you sure this is an email?

Have you not just seen a little bit of a script from Hollyoaks or something? No, I promise you. Love stuff like that. Send more of them in, everyone. Come on. Oh, God, yeah. Obviously, we'll never see who it is, so your secret's safe with us, but love stuff like that.

I mean, let's be honest. If the full family are listening, it's not going to take long for them to work out that it's them. Yeah, true. Sorry. Hard lines. What are you going to do? Doodle-oo-doon. Da-da. Doodle-oo-do them. Yeah, true. Sorry. Hard lines. What are you going to do? Do-do-do-do.

Da-da. Do-do-do-do. Da-da. Amazing. Ba-ba-do-ba-ba-do-ba-ba-do-ba. Got one here. Short and sweet. From Susan.

Dear Rosie and Chris, do you have a favourite swear word? Yes. Do you have one in your head? I've got one in my head. Go on. Yeah? Well, I think yours is going to be the same as mine.

Is it? I don't know. You don't think so? No? Probably shit. Probably shit. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Why? Is that bad? That's middle ground. No, it's middle ground. That's quite good. Yeah. That's middle ground.

I've got to say Seabomb. No, you can't. Don't do it. No, I'm not going to say it. All right, okay. But C-bomb is probably my favourite. Just because you... Don't use it often,

but when you whip out the old C-bomb, kaplunk. Ooh. Bumf. Nice, isn't it? Sit down. It's a powerful word. Just for inanimate objects.

Yeah. Yeah. No, mine's just a middle ground one. I remember when we were younger, I mean, Nana used to be like, right, burnt, don't like none of the bad swear words,

but you can say bloody, shit, bugger. Wow. Bastard. No, that wasn't there. But it was like, they were the okay ones. Just for me, Nana.

Like, if my mum heard her saying it, I'd get a clip around. Your Nana's a legend. But she didn't like the bad ones, you know. Did I ever tell you when I went to school, again, I don't know if I've said this on the podcast,

where I went into school one day. I was in second year junior, so what's that, year four? No, year four. Year four. And a lad came up who I sort of knew from someone else. And he was like a friend of a friend. And he genuinely came up. I'll never forget it.

And he was like, you heard the new swear word. That's out. That's out? What was it? Prick. I went, what? What is it? He went, prick.

I went, all right. He went, yeah, it's a new swear word. And then he walked off. Well, what was that though? When I was in school and someone would call you a twat and you'd be like, oh, what? A baby frog.

Yeah. That's what a twat means. It's not a fish, a pregnant fish. I can't remember. If you're a twat, it was a pregnant fish, wasn't it?

Oh, I'm a pregnant fish. I'm like, oh, great. You know what one I loved? You know what one I loved? What? Were you born in a hospital? Yeah. Ah, you were born in a horse-piddle?

Ah! You were born in a horse-piddle? Ah! Ah! Ah! You were born in a horse-piddle? Never heard of that. Are we mates? Yeah. Are you my pal?

Yeah. Ah, personal arse-nicker! Ah! Ah! It's my personal arse-nicker! I've never heard of either of them. Shut up, man. I love them.

I love them. Wow. that's great wow I'm literally wracking my brains right now to think of something yeah what hand

do you wipe your bum with this one I use toilet paper boo do you know I can't believe how much you are loving these they are the shittest oldest things in the world no i remember when someone would go i got something on your bum there you touch your bum you go bum feel that bum

is it literally your own bum to be like bum feel that bum feel your own bum look at him feeling his own bum pervert send him down lock him up the lads in my school remember

they used to run up to you right they used to run up to you and they'd like stick their crotch like they'd have their clothes on but they'd stick their crotch

and they'd like point their crotch at you and they'd point at their crotch with their fingers and they'd go look at me dick but they'd say it so quick you wouldn't hear it at their crotch with their fingers and they'd go, look at me dick! But they'd say it so quick you wouldn't hear it.

Go, look at me dick! And you'd look down and go, look at me dick! And you'd go, come on man, that's not even fair. Oh God. Look at me dick.

She looked, guys listening, she looked, she looked at me dick. She did, she looked. She tried to wash it as well. Babadoo babadoo babadoo bah! Got a lovely one here really really nice

just keeps you know I just love that the podcast is getting these kind of listeners do you know what I mean okay was it is it highbrow very highbrow question

oh wonderful you're gonna enjoy it maybe a bit radio 4 a bit radio 4 a A bit Radio 4? A little bit Radio 4. Yeah, why not? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's only to me.

Obviously, you can join in. Okay. Dear Rosie, do you still swallow or was that just a pre-marriage thing? Who the hell's that from? A non. That's horrible.

Don't answer that. What the hell's going on? Who's wrote that? I'm not well. It's anonymous. I'm not going to take it. I've gone on the emails. Whoever that is, that's not on.

Wonderful. Should I answer? No, I don't. That's a horrible question. Good heavens. You're like horrified. I am. I am. I don't. That's a horrible question. Good heavens. You're like horrified. I am. I am.

I'm shocked. I'm shocked and appalled. Pre-marriage thing. Pre-marriage thing. No. It wasn't even a pre-marriage thing. No. Absolutely disgusting.

Yeah. I don't get it. Why is people doing that? Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like, I wouldn't drink your wee. Why would I drink your semen? I mean, I've never been asked those kind of questions.

I've got no... I've got no... I've got no comeback to that. I've never been asked... I've never been asked those questions. I'm not a PR guy for me wee and me semen. I'm not about to go, well, before you say no, think of the benefits.

I've got... There are no benefits. You're acting like I've been... You're acting like I've sent that email. That wasn't me. It was. To a secret source. It wasn't just that once when you were drunk, Rosie.

This is why you're playing me with drinks. Perfect, man. Who's emailing that? You want your hard drive confiscated and sent to the police. I think it's wonderful, personally. And I just want to say, sorry, Dad. Stop listening.

This is not for you. Let's go and wash our ears. You should too It is time for this week's celebrity question Sorry, I see you're back on it now, are you? Well, yeah Good This week is the fabulous Giovanna Fletcher Hi guys, Giovanna here

I was just wondering Who's the most annoying? Oh, thank you, Giovanna We recorded Giovanna fletcher's podcast happy mom happy baby which is on soon yeah have we just said her name wrong three times she said giovanna giovanna giovanna oh my gosh i don't know are we jordy in her name are we ruining it are we doing what our accent does of this accent really makes it it just ruins all names and everything all yeah it ruins every name any sort of nice

name let's just call her g g i was calling her g on the day i felt really cool she's fabulous she's awesome i'm so sorry that we dragged you down make you put a question on our scummy podcast who is the most annoying? Well, I mean, I think, can I say now? Yeah. I think that you get more annoyed by me day to day. Yes. Is that a fair thing to say? Yeah, like with real stuff.

Yeah? Yeah. Day to day, I annoy you more. You get more annoyed by me. I still get annoyed by you, but I think you're getting more annoyed by me. Yes. However, when you are trying to be annoying yes you're fucking unbearable man it's unbelievable can i remember last night just last night as we're about to go to bed you did your little

shitty phone thing where you stand on the phone for a bit lovely then we came in the kitchen and i turned around and you give us a little slap and you went oh i wish we just fight can i just can i just like hit you as hard as i can for like 10 seconds and i was like uh no and you give us a little slap and you went, ugh, ugh, how is she? We'll just fight. Can I just, can I just like hit you as hard as I can for like 10 seconds? And I was like, uh, no.

And you're like, come on, just let us hit you. And I was like, no. And then you turn around and you ran and dove head first

onto the sofa like what Robin does. And then you came back and went, try it, it's amazing. And then you ran and dove again.

Yeah. All I wanted to do was go to bed. I wanted to turn the dishwasher on and go to bed. And you were running around I mean yes I did join in yes I jumped on the sofa

a couple of times yes it was fun exactly but when you want to be annoying you're really annoying well the thing is it just it goes back to siblings

right because you're because I'm an only child because you're a lonely child that's what I like to call them painful people still hurt

I've got a brother and a sister and we used to irritate the hell out of each other when we were younger so I'm just used to it and sometimes I miss it and sometimes I do it to you okay

do you know what I mean like we did so much good stuff growing up like and I was the middle so sometimes I used to gang up on Kevin with Kate then other times I'd gang up on Kate with Kevin like they never ganged up on me because I kate then other times i'd gang up on kate with kevin like they never ganged up on me because i was the instigator in the middle so yeah we used to get kate we used to put an upside down lego outside our bedroom and cover it with a pe bag when she came out we'd

whip the bag off and just stand on all the lego which was great great great was the adjet if you was there it was good fun and like we used used to get Kevin all the time just by like, hiding his stuff and that. Yeah. God, the good old days. Ah, well,

I used to line all my toys up in a nice, neat line and look at them. Yeah. We need it, we need it.

And then sometimes I was, sometimes it helped me dark clean the car. Oh, babes. And I got pretty good at catching a stray football that other kids were playing with on holiday if I orbited close enough to them.

Oh. And going and giving them it back for a while until they eventually just let us join in. Oh. If you're on holiday and you stand, if you're on your own and you stand next to two people who are passing a ball at each other and that ball goes stray, you get that enough times,

they'll just start passing it to you after a while. Like osmosis. That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. I got good at it. Oh, babe. You point me at two people passing a ball, I'll be playing past that ball with no words. Sometimes they didn't even speak English.

Sometimes it could have been German kids, could have been Spanish kids. Who was... Who was numero tres? Slash dry? In the game? This fella here. It's the saddest thing I've ever heard.

Don't knock it, it's a talent. Oh, we need another baby. We need another child. I can't be letting Robin do that on holiday, man. Oh, I can't, because I'll just... No. No. Needs a mate.

Character building is what it is. What did they know for you? Jesus Christ. I might need to translate that. What Rosie said

there to the non-Jordies was, it did nothing for you. But she got so excited and Geordie Fish-Jordies was it did nothing for you but she got so excited and Geordie Fishwife she went it did not for ye and there's dogs outside

losing their mind and I'm going to go and pass a ball for them because that's what I do oh well let's wrap it up veg feature

schnell schnell schnell schnell babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo

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babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babado for Chris for Celebrity Dad of the Year why don't you vote for Robin for Celebrity Dad of the Year well to be fair we live in the North East he's three he should probably have a couple of kids by now vote for me for Celebrity Dad of the Year

it's on my socials it's on Rosie's socials just vote for us to be Celebrity Dad if just to beat Rosie thank you oh that's nasty

and if you want to get in touch it's shagmarriedannoyed at gmail.com guys as always thank you so much for listening. Thanks so much. Bye! You're invited to an immersive listening party, led by Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind

the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Gimeno in conversation. Together, podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features her way and Toronto symphony orchestra, music director, Gustavo Jimeno in conversation together. They dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's the right of spring followed by a complete soul stirring rendition of the famously unnerving

piece symphony exploder April 5th at Roy Thompson hall for tickets, visit TSO.ca. Rock city. You're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th, when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm.

You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game, and you'll only pay as we play come along