Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 141. That’s a crow

Episode Date: November 5, 2021

On this week’s podcast things get personal! Chris and Rosie discuss sofas, sex, infidelity, and an inappropriate toenail arrangement. All of this plus a cracking ‘Would you rather…’. Enjoy!  Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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at torontorock.com. Hello, you're listening to Shagmire Denied with me, Rosie Ramsey, and me husband, Christopher Ramsey. Hey, how are you? I'm really well, how are you? I'm dead happy. I'll tell you why I'm dead happy. First of all, because when I was setting up all these mics earlier on, I haven't told you this, the scaffolding outside of our house, because we're going to get the chimneys fixed, right?

On the scaffolding, there was a little blue tit, and I sat and looked at it for a bit, and it looked at me. I felt like I had a moment, and it made us really happy. I think I might be a Disney princess. That was a lot to take in, if I'm honest. Are you sure it was a blue tit? for a bit and it looked at me and I felt like I had a moment and it made us really happy and I think I might be a Disney princess. So. That was a lot to take in if I'm honest. Are you sure it was a blue tit? Do you know what a blue tit

looks like? Yellow, tummy, blue, everything else. Was it really? Around here? Around these parts? Why are you being bird racist? I'm not.

Send them back to where they came from. I only know about three birds. We were watching. Oh, whoa. You know three birds and you immediately questioned me on my bird knowledge. Because I think, I just haven't seen, him from i only know about three birds right we were watching oh whoa you know three birds and you immediately questioned me on me bird knowledge because i think i just haven't seen i don't see

blue tits very often here's something so me and robin have started watching planet earth i'm extremely late to the year we've seen planet earth before but you've been watching yeah yeah all right well i didn't recognize it yeah they were in, you know, not in England, filming. Possibly somewhere cold because it was the climate, it's the changing. Sorry, can I just interrupt you and say, if Planet Earth was exclusively filmed in England, it would be the worst hockey show in the world.

Imagine. And here's a blue tit, or it might not be. You don't only get them on these spots. Here is a dead rabbit on a road. And there's a pheasant. Oh, that's just been killed as well and there's a worm goodnight everyone well

they were in a country that I can't remember but there was loads of black coloured birds they were not they were exotic birds I didn't know what they were called

oh right okay but Robin was adamant they were crows right and I didn't correct him right but the black yeah but you said they there were crows and I didn't correct him but the black? yeah, there weren't crows I don't think crows live in the Antarctic

that's all I'm saying but the problem is this goes on to a bigger problem this would be much better conversation if you remembered the fucking country or remembered what kind of bird it was but all I'm saying is the problem is

I think our child is going to be a lot cleverer than us he already is he already is so I just went along with the fact that there were crows

right so he now thinks that crows live in the Antarctic well if he's anything like you he'll forget he's fucking watched it anyway I hope so great

right well that was good what I'm saying is what's going to happen in years to come when he's like oh mother father what is it and I'm saying is, what's going to happen in years to come when he's like, oh mother, father, what is it? And I'm just going to go, that is, that's a crow. Google, that's a crow.

To everything. There's a reptile mummy, it lives in Africa, what's it called? It's a crow, sir. It's an exotic looking crow. Mam, I've got me homework for food technology. I've got to make, it's not a flan. It's like a flan. It's round. It's a crow, son.

That is a crow. As the crow flies. Everything's a crow. What happened to Mammy? All she could say was crow for the rest of her life. Is it as the crow flies? Yes. Is it? As the crow flies yes is it as the crow flies yeah

and it means like if it could go in a straight line I think yeah no because of school catchment areas they use that saying as the crow flies as the crow flies

it's the nearest one that is what it means isn't it so like it's basically like I don't know I can only do it in terms of gigs now there's a gig

in Aberystwyth Uni there's a venue in Aberystwyth which is right on the coast of Wales and there's a gig in uh aborist with uni there's a in venue in aborist which is right on the coast of wales um and it's a fucking nightmare to get to even when i lived in manchester it was still a bastard to get to and it's because the road essentially just goes in like you basically zigzag your way there now as the crow flies you could get there pretty quick yeah 10 minutes it's a fucking nightmare to get there because the roads are crazy that's what it means sorry not 10 minutes no honestly just need to correct there because the roads are crazy well that's what it means sorry not ten minutes no honestly

just need to correct that as the crow flies ten minutes flat as the crow flies doesn't mean that everything's ten minutes away in a car five hours crows

crows are fast as fuck just so you know by the way just so you know I don't actually like crows as it goes I can't get into this

I don't like crows as it goes do you like crows they're not a very nice animal they have not been depicted well they're very clever yeah they're really clever yeah that can um i've read a thing recently where they can recognize humans that can recognize and remember certain humans shut up yeah yeah yeah yeah so they're gonna know i've said that tell you what love they don't like you either specifically you i'm gonna wake up and take the bear to school tomorrow and there's just gonna to be a family of crows. Do you know what a family of crows is called? Do you know what a collection of crows is called?

A murder. A murder. Fuck! You do remember stuff. Am I right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. The only reason I remember that is because crows freak me out

and I always thought murder, they would murder someone. Right. So that's right. Yeah, definitely not how they got that name. Anyway, guys. Why did they get that name? Oh, God. No, but come on, that's interesting. Why did they get that name? Oh, God. No, but come on,

that's interesting. Why are they called Amarta? There's been Amarta. You can Google it while we do the jungle. I might actually. When we do the jungle?

When we do the jungle. Are you going in the jungle? Any fucking chance. Guys, it is episode 141. As always, thank you so much for listening and you know what? Thank you for sticking with it.

Oh, mate. I wouldn't that crow patter was fucking chronic guys oh oh oh okay no no no what is a murder of crows the origin of the term murder means a flock of crows has much to do with the scavenging scavenging sorry nature of this and other corvids right corvids that's how people used to say Covid really Covid historically the presence of the gallows and slaughter on the battlefields would have provided rich

pickings right so that's where it came from back in the war all the crows ate the dead bodies back in the war during the war all the crows we've won you back because that's see I'm sorry

I'm sorry right listen we've won you back because that's interesting that is actually a really good fact I'll give you that I knew the watch what

so they're eating all of our dead soldiers yes bastards yeah horrible they recognise each one they're going

remember him oh he was tasty I love his eyes oh Jeff I remember seeing him this morning thinking I'll have your eyes later

fucking lush I hope we lose I hope we lose I hope we lose I'm starving oh that's bad bloody Judas should be called a Judas of crows

won't everyone lose so they can eat them now listen without further ado guys it's time for this week's lucrative lucrative sponsor this week's sponsor

and I saw one yesterday this week's sponsor is people who drive around looking terrified of the fact that they're driving. Oh, oh,

yep. Yep. You're at a junction and you're waiting and someone goes past and they look like, they look like they've just woke up and they're behind the wheel of a car. They're like, and their seat is so close to the steering wheel. The hole in the wheel. They look like you would,

you would think that someone was in the back with a gun to their head maybe they are constantly shitting their pants and honestly I feel like the police should be able to

pull you over and go do you know why I pulled you over no officer what's wrong you look like you were shitting your pants you look like

you're gonna cause an accident love you look like you're just sort of you know you look like you've done a Tom Hanks in big

and you're actually eight years old but you're somehow driving a car. Yeah. God, they look so scared. I can't get my head around people who just look so scared when they drive. I'm of that ilk of, I don't like the big roads. Give me your license back.

Because you shouldn't have been allowed to drive. A road is a road. If you don't like the big roads, you shouldn't be allowed to drive because you're ruining it for everybody else. Put your license in there, sir. If you don't like the big roads, you shouldn't be allowed to drive because you're ruining it for everybody else. Put your licence in there, sir.

Thank you very much. Go and buy a bike. She had her hand open, not her vagina. Put your licence in there, sir. It was her hand, everyone.

Just so you know what's happening. Why do you think I said my vagina? That's disgusting. That's the kind of thing you'd say. What, put your licence up my vag?

Get your head out the gutter. Get your head out my vag. Are you so obsessed obsessed much is this because I turned you down the other day or sex

you did turn us down the other day I did there's gonna be hell on we're gonna talk about that murder

no not really I can't believe you even brought it up sorry I'm a bit embarrassed now it's because I had my lipstick on I couldn't be asked

again on our mouth It's because I had my lipstick on, I couldn't be arsed. Again, on our mouth. Things are going a bit south in the bedroom for us, so I've started actually applying lipstick to my vagina. Just to lighten the mood. I'll tell you right now, you can't polish a turd. It looks like a dog got in the makeup drawer. Aw. Bad lad.

Have you been eating my... You bad lad. Aw, are you still talking about my vagina? Yeah. Let's not. It's weird when we talk about sex, us two. I think people think that we're like the mom and dad and we don't have sex.

Okay. But we do sometimes. Very rarely. Jingle time. I think people think that we're like the mom and dad and we don't have sex. Okay. But we do sometimes. No, we don't. Very rarely. Jingle time. We had a fight about the jingle, jingle. We couldn't settle on a jingle, jingle.

So this is the jingle, jingle. We hope you like the jingle, jingle. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Jingle. Jingle. Like the Jingo, Jingo. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Jingo! Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of Shagged, Married, Annoyed. Lovely to have you back, as always. Lovely to be back. Lovely to be back.

It is, isn't it? Because what people won't realise, what people won't realise in that couple of seconds that the Jingo is on, is that we have been away from the studio for what seems like an eternity while Rosie went downstairs and talked to Sandra about fucking wallpaper and so on. I haven't seen my mum for three days.

Say her on your own time, love. Say her on your own time. Because I've just stood down there like a spare part, like a child waiting for their parents in Barker and Stonehouse. It was painful. Three times I had to say,

can we go and do a podcast, please? And you came back up and you forgot the beef that you were going to have with us. You've actually forgot the beef. I've remembered it now. Maybe another one, actually. Great, great, great, great. But hey, listen, look, it's all good. If you're listening to this on Friday as it comes out,

it's obviously the greatest day of the year. It's bonfire night. Greatest day of the year. Hey, are you night. Greatest day of the year. Hey, are you a cat or a dog? They fucking hate it. Hey, are you a normal human being? We fucking hate it as well. Do you know what I've just thought?

Pointless, what? This is our first year in the countryside on bonfire night. Oh yeah, I thought this was the idea. We will not hear a fire one. Will we not hear anything? We will not hear a fire one. Oh my word. It's going to be amazing.

This is brilliant. I've said it before and I've said it again. I've said it before and I've said it again. I don't want to go over it again but i just find it really strange that for one part of the year we all sell explosives to people as long as they're over 18 well do you know what right can i just say i wouldn't be that annoyed with it if it just happened on that one day but where we live it's for it's flipping two weeks before and two weeks after and you just go can you can you keep it to the day please

so we all know what's going on yeah although do you know what it is there's a flippin load of them going on do you know what I do find cool I do find cool on Bonfire Night when

sometimes you'll just be walking along the street and a stick with what was a rocket a rocket on just falls to the floor and you go oh that was in the sky

really yeah it's really light wood it doesn't hurt they just fall sometimes they just fall. Sometimes they just fall down. From when?

From days ago? No, from the exploded moments before and being blown through the air. That's really dangerous. Rosie, they come back down. What do you think happens? Are they still hot? Well, no. This has never ever happened to anybody.

Did you not know this? Yeah. Ever? No. So, you know when you put the stick in the ground? Yes. And it's got a little rocket on it and you light it. Okay, yeah. Did you not know this? Yeah. Ever. No. So, you know when you put the stick in the ground? Yes. It's got a little rocket on it and you light it. Okay, yeah. I've never lit a firework.

The stick sometimes goes up with it. Right. The stick doesn't stay. The stick goes up with it and then it has to come back down. Oh, okay. Could it kill somebody? I want to say no because it's really light wood. But a penny from the top of the Empire State Building would go through you like a bullet.

I honestly think that's bollocks as well. Do you? I don't. It's true. I don't think it's true. Don't be ruining the stains of a lifetime. Don't they say that if you threw a penny in it, it landed the right way,

it would go all the way through someone's head and come out their arse. That's what I'm talking about, yeah. From the Empire State Building, though. From the Empire State Building. Nowhere else. Nowhere else. Even a taller building doesn't work.

Burj Khalifa, too high, doesn't work. Got to be the Empire State Building. It would disintegrate by't work. Burj Khalifa, too high, doesn't work, got to be the Empire State Building. It would disintegrate by the time it got to the floor. Fuck's sake. Oh, gobbledygook. I didn't go to the Empire State Building in New York.

I went to the top of the rock, the Rockefeller. I think it was cheaper. I got a photo of the top of the rock, yeah. Is it cheaper? Rockefeller's got a better view. You can see Central Park and stuff.

Well, somebody said you can see the Empire State Building from the Rockefeller. So I was like, all right, well, that's nice. Got you. Well, somebody said you can see the Empire State Building from the Rockefeller. So I was like, all right, well, that's nice. Got you. Okay. Yeah. You also get a height, so you don't like it.

Oh, I didn't go up the top. No. Right. So what did you do? You just went in? No, there's like three different floors at the top. I went to the bottom one. Brilliant.

Did you go outside? Me boyfriend at the time, no. No? No. Good. Did you have a nice day, did you? Oh, shit. Absolute shit.

You could have been anywhere. You could have been in a marathon. I went in a lift for 10 minutes. Utter bollocks. That's my worst nightmare. That is my worst nightmare. Even you just mentioning the Burj Khalifa then reminded me of my friends who live in Dubai

who've been up at the top and now I want to be sick. Yeah, I'm all right. I'm all right, yeah. I mean, yeah, it's pretty... I mean, I do like the top and now I want to be sick. Yeah. I'm all, yeah. I mean, yeah, it's pretty, I mean, I do like the views and stuff but I understand, I understand where the fear comes from.

I was a bit, when I went to the top of the Empire State Building I was slightly nervous. I always think even, when I get to the top So you've been up at the top of the Empire State Building as well?

Yeah, yeah. As the Rockefeller? As well as the Rockefeller. Oh, me and my mate did them all. Whoa! We were fucking exhausted by the end of that holiday. We did everything you could possibly do while hungover as fuck. Yeah, all the stuff. Well! We were fucking exhausted by the end of that holiday. We did everything

you could possibly do while hungover as fuck. Yeah, all of the stuff. Well, didn't you win? You won a competition. I won a stand-up comedy competition. To go to New York. People might not know this, actually.

I think, no, we're not talking about this. Galaxy Northeast, Galaxy Radio, I won a stand-up comedy competition to go to New York. I also won a competition on Galaxy.

Yeah? Yeah, I won a PS, a PS, no, what are they called? Nintendo DS. I sold it. You sold it? I sold it, yeah. Oh, what a scumbag you are.

120 quid. What a scumbag you are. Fantastic. I was dead shoved. Yeah? I've never won anything. I've never ever won anything. And I was at work in Sunderland.

Yeah? What did you have to do to win? You just had to call in. Right, I was one of them. There was a new game store opening in Sunderland. Yeah. What did you have to do to win? You just had to call in. Right. I was one of them. There was a new game store opening in Sunderland. Right. You know, game, the shop.

Yeah, yeah. And they were giving away Nintendo DSes. And I was sat at work listening to the radio. And I was like, fuck this. I'm going to enter. So you phoned for a Nintendo DS that you didn't even want? I just wanted to win. I just wanted to feel special, Chris.

I'd been to New York. I hadn't seen anything. I'd stood inside Lyfts for three days. Then I got said Nintendo DS. And I'd been to New York I hadn't seen anything I'd stood inside lifts for three days then I got said Nintendo DS and I went I don't like games

you know what ones I always find weird the ones where you've got to you sort of give them your details and then they ring you and you've got to say a thing when you pick the phone up

yeah stressful that way and people always go like hello and they're like you were supposed to say I listened to Tony Horn in the morning

the greatest microphone station in the world. Oh, fuck. Oh, jeez, bring us again. Sorry, hard lines, next caller. And then they're just fucking raging for the rest of the week. But the thing, how long do you do that for?

Imagine if at Fortnite, you're like, hello, Tony Horn in the morning. That's the thing though. It used to be, like I remember, so I remember it was on the radio once, right? It was Tony Horn in the morning.

That's old school, Northeast radio. Yeah, Tony Horn in the morning, right? So Tony Horn i remember it was on the radio once right it was tony horn in the morning that's old school northeast radio yeah tony horn in the morning right so tony horn in the morning was on and uh i remember we were listening to it and he was like i'm gonna ring someone and our house phone started ringing and my mom was like i'm sitting and i was like oh and i picked up and i was like and i didn't see it and then i heard my dad on the other end talking and i was like oh so my dad had gone to work earlier. And then he was phoning up from work. And I heard him. I went, oh, hello.

And my mom was like, no. And I went, oh, it's dad. And I put the phone down. And I went, have you signed up for the thing? And she went, no. And I went, well, why would they ring us? And she went, what do you mean? I went, you've got to give me a number.

And then she went, all right. For fucking weeks, every time someone rang in the morning she's picking up going I'll listen to Tony on in the morning she doesn't even know if I fucking did this in the morning bitch oh Anne Anne Anne Anne God love you honestly idiot absolute idiot

babadoo babadoo babadoo bah so got a couple of things I want to run by you yeah couple of things I want to talk to you about get your opinion on okay oh I love giving my opinion

this is fun wow I feel like you've won another DS I'm an opinionated little motherfucker feel like you've won another DS do you I

obviously I'm on tour at the minute and so stuff's going on that you're not aware of because I'm you know I'll be in my own man for a bit here I go be in my own man for a bit. Here I go again

on my own. So, yesterday, yesterday I was in a shop and I got talking to someone who was like, oh, you're Chris Ramsey

and I was like, yeah, and she was like, yeah, I'm a big fan and she was dead, dead lovely while chatting away.

When she left the shop, she said, Merry Christmas. What? Yeah. To who? To you. Yeah, to me., she said Merry Christmas. What? Yeah. To who? To you? Yeah, to me.

She went, bye, Chris. Merry Christmas. Chris, it's the 1st of November. It was the 3rd of November when she said it. What day is it today? It's only the 2nd, isn't it? Oh, no. Oh, sorry, yeah.

It was the 1st of November. She said to me, while leaving the shop, on the 1st of November, Merry Christmas. I hate her. And I went, wow. Why? Why? I mean, she's a fan of you. She listens to the podcast. Oh, well, okay.

Sorry. I don't know you personally, but why are you saying Merry... Was she nervous? That might... I'm thinking maybe she walked out and went, what the fuck did I say that for?

Why did I say Merry Christmas? Because I just went, she went, so you say it to me. Say it. What am I saying? You be her. This is what happened.

Bye, Chris. Merry Christmas. Okay. That's all I said I went okay I had no I don't know what to say to that on the first of November

should have been better off saying happy bonfire night I mean I'd have probably been fucking fuming or happy Halloween just close that to Halloween yeah yeah happy Halloween had happened

a happy new year for January just gone she hadn't seen us to be fair no do you know what honestly I love Christmas but December yeah

stop it 1st of December get it on the go stop it okay then there's that dealt with but only because we've got kids

yeah if I didn't have kids I would probably be more up for it in November yeah but if we put our tree up early yeah we went past again on the tour

we went past someone's house the other day and they had all the Christmas decorations up. And my driver, Paul, just said, they're poor children. Yeah. It's like, that is like torture.

Torture, it is. Like when Santa's coming soon, what do you mean by soon? Oh, I mean like- Oh, months. In a sixth of the year. Yeah. No, it's not fair on them.

It's not fair. I always go up like the 10th to 12th, like that that sort of weekend I think it is well there you go no you ask every day

there's the rules according to Rosie well it's not you can put it up when you want but I do I don't think it's fair on kids yeah but they might not have kids they might just live on their own

they might just love Christmas they might put it up put it up in September then who gives a shit well there you go babadoo babadoo babadoo something else I want to run past you Rosie a friend of mine

recently told me something that as soon as they said it I went can I write this down for the podcast because I feel like Rosie babadoo babadoo babadoo something else I want to run past you Rosie a friend of mine yeah recently told me something that as soon as they said it I went can I write this down for the podcast because I feel like Rosie might like to chat about this right

oh so he was talking to his mate at work uh huh and his mate at work said so this is men yeah two men two men

he's talking to his mate at work yeah his mate at work said he was a little bit hungover because him and his girlfriend last night had went out uh huh and he was like well out till four in the morning right three in the morning or something he went where on earth were you on three in the morning three in the morning on a monday night where were you until three in the morning do you know where him and his girlfriend went strip club yes on a monday as a couple what's your opinion on that I mean

I don't know I don't know because there's quite a lot of people do that apparently it's a thing I googled it apparently it's a thing

it is a thing just because we don't do it does it mean that it's wrong I don't it's not wrong there's nothing wrong with it I don't know who's looking away

I don't know who's enjoying it the most I don't know who I don't know I don't know at what point you're supposed to be content I don't understand See this is the thing right If they both want to be there And they're both enjoying it then I get it

But if only one of them wants to be there And the other one's like why the fuck are we here again Then you'd be I'd think well why am I here I don't know there's a lot of people do that So who knows But three o'clock in the morning on a Monday They also got I'd think, well, why am I here? I don't know. There's a lot of people do that. So who knows? Okay. But three o'clock in the morning on a Monday.

They also got couples lap dances. So they got a lap dance together? They didn't just sit there. They got couples lap dances. Well, then they're both enjoying it. Yeah. Yeah. Well, then there you go.

Really? Live, live, live, live life, live, love, love life, live. Jesus. Love life, live strip. get that on your wall you're not gonna have much fucking room right live live love love live love love love love love i'm sorry we've run out of wall being m1 commissioner it's too long um no each to their own if they both get and see though there you go if they get a couple's lap dance then they're both enjoying it, so crack on.

Not hurting anyone. I just don't understand. If you're there and you're like, oh, this is great. Yeah, all right, I've got the horn. Have you got the horn? Right, quickly, run home now while I've still got a hard-on.

Like, what? I just don't. I don't. I mean, I'm sure you can put a hard-on off until you get home. Is this... Hang on. Are you hinting for us to call it?

Absolutely not. No chance. Not in a million years. Because me mam's here tonight. If you want, the kids can get babysat. That's awful. No chance.

I'm not up for it. No chance. But what was I going to say? There's another thing about strip clubs. They are open after hours. So a lot of people go off. Apparently the food's alright. Is it? Apparently the food's alright. So I googled a whole thing about strip clubs they are open after hours so a lot of people go apparently the food's alright is it?

apparently the food's alright so I googled the whole thing about it's a people go because it keeps the relationship you know whatever it's better than going on your own and apparently the food's alright

so there you go oh well there you go well listen I'm whatever people want to do they can do as long as no one's getting hurt as long as everyone's consenting,

then crack on. What am I meant to be disgusted by? So there'd be no point where you'd be like, oh, is he thinking that she's fitter than me? Well, no, because I'm very aware that strippers don't fancy the people that they're giving lap dances to. I think you'd find them a very successful,

famous comedian. They probably would. No. They'd probably fucking hate you. If I was a very successful famous comedian. They probably would. No. They probably fucking hate you. If I was a stripper We're going tonight. If you don't think

these strippers are going to We're going tonight. Why are you desperate for us to go? If I was a stripper I would not fancy anyone who came in for a lap dance. Absolutely not.

I'd be like oh here we go right let's crack on get me money get me moolah fuck off don't look at us. But how would you feel

if someone came in in a couple i'd probably find that a bit i'd probably like that more right i'd be like okay here we go you two are here because you're not igniting your relationship yeah you're not here just look at me they're here for a bit of horn bit of porn like live porn or whatever and i can understand that more okay okay i remember one of my exes went on a stag do and they went to a strip club. Here comes the juicy stuff, come on. No, it's not juicy.

They went to a strip club and he was telling, because we were on a separate stag and hen do, so I was with the hen and he was with the stag. And they went to a strip club and he got a lap dance and I was like, what was it like? And he was like, honestly, fucking awful. Yeah. And he said that at the end

she kissed him on the cheek and it was and he was like and i've never felt more patronized in my life it's time for what's your beef right come on then did his first he said he didn't have one earlier on and now you've got one apparently because you just reminded us of earlier on and now you've got one apparently I do because you just reminded us of something great yeah are you ready

yeah okay oh my arm's hurting you keep I've got a flu jab oh well done my arm's hurting you've got your flu jab

flu jab for me too oh you you're bulletproof I am covid jab flu jab bloody hell the amount of door handles

I'm going to suck on on this sorry carry on it's because I've raised my arm in the air to see a beef in my arm honestly you were such a

bullshitter though saying that because we went to the Tesco cafe the other day Chris was raging obviously but he actually enjoyed

his fish finger sandwich in the end you fucking stuck up bastard Chris was raging because the guy give him a pot of tomato ketchup that had been sat around the back no no wasn't sat around the

back there was a full tray on full display of loads of little ramekins of ketchup fully open when they've got sealed sachets of ketchup anyway so i didn't want to listen did you wear your mask listen i wanted to make this listen i didn't want to make a scene right I went so I was like I'm not fucking having this so I went oh there's a hair on that

can I have a different ketchup there wasn't a hair on it but I just I didn't want that ketchup and she went yeah and she grabbed another ramekin from the open display of airborne ketchup

and I went sorry can I just have a sachet of like make your mind up like what are we are we still being careful or are we I'm fine either way

I'm fine if we're not being careful anymore go are we I'm fine either way I'm fine if we're not being careful anymore go for it I'm fine with either but don't don't hit it halfway don't have a sign outside your shop saying

well maybe we should still wear the mask maybe let's be safe for everyone and then have fucking communal ketchup that everyone can breathe on

I get it pick a fucking sign no I get it we're living in halfway that's all I'm saying halfway hell that's all i'm saying it's doing me tits in but i was really worried though because we went out of the exit yeah the wrong way yeah the one way exit obviously when i got outside i thought if i got a cough i

thought i've definitely died yeah i've got it i've got it oh anyone else fucking sick anyway right my beef with you Christopher this week is I mean it's a nice thing but it's a bit irritating you keep trying to have sex with us just as I've got ready and I'm talking

hair done, makeup done perfume on leaving the door in 15 minutes. It's not a good time. I know I look the best that I've looked in my life. In 15 minutes, we can have sex loads of times. Yes, I know. But you'd mess my makeup up and my hair.

Right. Don't be surprised that your husband finds you attractive when you've done yourself up and you look beautiful. No, it is nice, but it's just bad timing. And then... But rolling around in the house in pyjamas with bits of tuna on and no bra doesn't really float me boat, I'll be honest with you. Right?

Just so you know, I love you, you're beautiful, you're me soulmate. But those are the most appropriate sex times. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. I want you clean. I want your teeth brushed. I want you. You're beautiful. You're my soulmate. But those are the most appropriate sex times. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. I want you clean. I want your teeth brushed. I want you made in effort. Right?

None of this. None of this. You know, I've just had a garlic bread. Do you quickly fancy it before bed? No, I do not. Am I right guys the effort I have to put in to this marriage

no it's just not honestly it's not good time it's not that I don't want it it's just really bad timing because all I can think is right well I'm just going to have to do my makeup again and it'll never go as nice as it does the first time so it's

sorry I can't believe it I'd rather look nicer for the other lads on when I go out I don't blame you I don't blame you I can't believe I'd rather look nicer for the other lads on when I go out I don't blame you I don't blame you I can't believe

I've got to defend myself for this on our podcast honestly Jesus come on what's your beef with me my beef with you

is it's happened again today it's been happening for ages we live in a fucking revolving sofa showroom and i'm

fully fed up with it right i'm guys i know i've talked about lamps and sofas you don't understand what it's like you don't understand what it's like she bought today the doorbell rang right the doorbell rang and two blokes turned up and delivered two sofas and i literally went where are these going there's no room for these sofas i had to get these poor two fucking lads to help us move a sofa a perfectly good sofa you can see them looking thinking what the fuck they moved that sofa to put a one very similar to it in that place may i add and then move two other chairs to put another sofa there and then what do you do? You've got them

two sofas exactly the same they match in the room there's another sofa a big one along the back wall you looked at that today and went

now that one doesn't match them and then you know what'll happen? You'll get another one and that'll come in and you'll go now them two don't match that one and then you'll get another one

another two and they'll not match that one and it would just live in this world. What do you call the, when cards are going to drop? House of cards. House of cards. It's fucking, you're the Goldilocks of sofas.

I know. But apart from trying another one that's already there, you just buy more. I know. Your mam's had about six sofas off work and she's ran out of people to give them to. I need a storage unit. Do you know what? I agree with you. I've got a problem.

It's ridiculous. But you know what's ridiculous? What agree with you i've got a problem ridiculous but you know what's ridiculous what's more ridiculous right i i can buy sofas right right fuck me i cannot buy new underwear for love no money right i've got same bras i've had for 15 year chris and you barely wear them around the house and they're vile and that i know they are vile to the point when my sister commented on how disgusting one of my bras was wow

and she actually used the words you're doing quite well this bra's awful wow and I was like that's that's offensive

but you're right but I can buy a sofa willy nilly could we maybe get the upholstery taken from the sofas and repurposed a new bras for you

would that is that something people could do now you're talking imagine but no I just need to have a little switch a switcheroo no you just need to have a little switcheroo.

No, you just need to have a fucking moment of pausing before you click buy on sofa websites. Can't do it. Stop. Can we just, right, in my defence, for these two that I've just bought, I've got swatches for them. Right.

And I thought they matched the sofa at the time. Because the swatches are only this big. That's not. this one, but they don't. Because the swatches are only this big. That's not. They're tiny. You can't. So your defence is I tried to make the match,

but they don't. I did try and make the match. That's not a defence. That's, you, just stop, honestly, honestly,

it's getting fucking stupid now. Okay. Stop it. All right. There's no way to put them. I know. I do know that. I do understand.

That sofa downstairs, that room downstairs, including them two chairs, if we're going to count them, if we're going to count them two chairs, there's one sofa, there's five sofas in that room. There's five sofas in that room.

Some of them, they're behind each other. It's a big room. They're behind each other, like fucking seats on a train. Right. There's rows, there's rows of sofas.

One is going to my mum's. I'm waiting for Miles to come pick it up. Christ. There's rows of sofas. One is going to my mum's. I'm waiting for Miles to come pick it up. Christ. But now annoyingly the one that I've

given to my mum matches the two new ones better. Fucking hell. No thought goes into it. Do I let that

down? No thought goes into it. Honestly. The day you started earning money. Okay listen

I don't buy handbags. I don't buy shoes. I don't like expensive jewellery. Rosie, Rosie. I like sofas.

All them things you listed, at least I can put them in a fucking box in the loft. Yeah. I can't get the sofas anyway. You're buying the most cumbersome, gigantic things. Honestly. It gives us pleasure. Right. And also, we've got a six-year-old and we've got a nine-month-old.

Tell everyone what colour them two sofas are that you just bought today. Cream. And what happens as soon as a bit of chocolate gets on one of them that you can't get off I'll give it away there we go

don't the kids aren't allowed in there or food or drink great Angela's banned oh that's fun that's fair so you bought two sofas

for the room of too many sofas where you're not allowed to actually go in and use the fucking sofas kill me babadoo babadoo babadoo bah and use the fucking sofas. Kill me! Babadoo babadoo babadoo bah! progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH

build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. This Friday, you must be very careful, Margaret. It's a girl. Witness the birth. Bad things will start to happen. Evil things. Of evil. It's all. No, no, don't.

The First Omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil. Movie of the year. It's not real.

It's not real. It's not real. Who said that? The First Omen. In theaters Friday. Gets it gets now. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket

to Rock City at torontorock.com. It's time for questions from the public. Questions from the public, public. Public. Guys, as always, please continue to get in touch and send in your questions and your dilemmas and your stories and your embarrassing moments and everything you can to shagmildenoid at gmail.com.

We've still got absolutely loads of them to get through, but it's always nice to just know that we keep getting more. So thank you so much. Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Ramsey. Firstly, keep the awesome getting more so thank you so much hello mr and mrs ramsey firstly keep the awesome content coming thank you very much me and my wife are big fans and coming to the live show and chris's stand-up too oh wonderful jackie jackpot thank you very much you've seen my stand-up i have seen your stand-up you saw it at the you saw the newcastle it was very bloody good well done go thanks There you go. Thanks everyone. It was great. Thanks me.

That's all I wanted to hear. Can you do it again? Can you just pat my head? Why? I feel like I

need a pat on the head. No I'm not. Come on man. I'll not be doing that. Pat my head. Oh for fuck's

sake. There you are. I did a good stand up. Wow. Oh I'm just a really good liar. That's not funny.

No it was good. Keep buying sofas. Keep buying sofas. Please keep me anonymous as my friend will not be happy about this. I have a story that fits the MO of the podcast. Utterly

outrageous and one that I still shake my head at to this day. Cue on. Cue on. You've tutted yesterday at Robin and that, it was awful. I've tutted at Rafe, it was a joke, I was tutting at Rafe. It was awful. Okay. It was a rave. It was a joke. I was talking about rave. It was awful. Okay.

It says here, my friend is genuinely a good bloke. However, back in his younger days he was a bit of a player. Player, player, player, player. Don't hate the player,

hate the game. Okay. Bitches. Whilst in a pretty solid relationship with a lovely girl he used to see other girls behind her back. That's not a player, that's a cheat, but okay.

Not that I think it's bad anyone's shagging about, as long as they're not breaking any hearts, as long as they're being careful. However, it is good that the playing field's a bit more level now. Yeah, exactly. So there you go. One lady, unfortunately, gave him the news that she had possibly passed on an STI.

Present! In the meantime, he'd had sex with his girlfriend, gave him the news that she had possibly passed on an STI. Present! Mm-hmm. In the meantime, he'd had sex with his girlfriend, so there was also a chance she also had the clap. What a lovely man. Nice, innit? So, this is what I found quite funny. So, to try and eliminate the disease, he cooked her a beautiful three-course meal

and attempted to put some antibiotics in her... Shut the fuck up. That's that's ridiculous. It's spiking up with fucking penicillin. Oh that's so bad. Surely antibiotics is like a weak

course? Yeah. How much did you think you would get in it? I'll cook you dinner every night for two weeks. This will just take the edge off the STI. What a fucking snake. Horrible, innit? So he didn't even come clean? No.

Fucking antibiotic. It's so bad. Horrible, innit? Fucking dickhead. Oh, I hate him. Do you think people are going to listen to this and take notes, though? That's so bad. I never...

That would never have occurred to me. That's another level of creep. Well, listen to this. It gets worse. He works away. So a couple of weeks later, he invited a few of the lads down to his for a weekend of boozing. My friend was once again playing the field and copped off with a girl who left a few marks on him. Sorry. He was, like, scratches or whatever.

Oh, right. You know what I mean? Rough, rough sex. Oh, I thought you meant like open sores or something. Okay. No. He was due to travel back home and see his girlfriend the next day. Right.

So to cover up the scratch marks, he used our mate, in brackets, who was hard as fuck, to kick the shit out of him so he could say that he had been beaten up in a fight. Right. Just break up with her for the love of Christ. Oh my God, let's set the girl free. Sorry, first of all, right, right, couple of things here, couple of things. One, dirty cheating gun. Two, if I had cheated and a girl had put nail marks on me and I needed

to say right I'm going to have to get beaten up I don't think I'd choose me hardest mate I'd probably choose me least hard mate what's your choice I chose the hardest mate can you kick the fuck out of me

no choose the one who can barely throw a punch to give you a slap about. But it's... But my thing... Why does your brain go to, right, you need to beat us up? Could you... It's like when people get tattoos

and hide it from the man. Where are Top? Where was the marks? I'm so confused. He's obviously like, well, I'm going home and I'm going to see her, so there must be one of them people who just blatantly have sex all the time.

I don't know. She must always be ready. That's awful. Is it weird that my brain went to, when you said to hide the marks, my brain immediately went to jump in front of a car. And I don't know why. And I think that's worse than what he, that's more. What are you talking about?

So I was like, oh, he jumped in front of a car. Not, he got his mate to beat him up. Before you said he got his mate to beat him up, my brain went to, oh, he got himself hit of a car. Not, he got his mate to beat him up. Before you said he got his mate to beat him up, my brain went to, oh, he got himself hit by a car. That's so extreme. I know. I thought he jumped in front of a car. I'm sorry.

Here's something. Here's a little story that I've just been reminded of. Right, right. A lad I used to go to school with, when we were younger, must have been about 16, right? He was in the year above me. So I would have been younger, 14, 15. I remember he

had sex with a girl and she'd scratched all over his back yeah and i remember saying it and being honestly horrified yeah yeah like one of my mates was like why because i obviously hadn't had sex then and i didn't know much about you don't you't know anything about it, at all at that age, really. You know what it is, but you don't know what, and then to that, I was like, oh, oh,

what? Why? But why would you, I would never let someone do that to me. It was just, it was so extreme. So listen to this, right? So extreme.

It happened to one of my mates, and we, I still live with my mum and dad at the time, and he came to mine the next day, and all of us were just standing on the door, like a few of them knocked on my door, um we uh i still live with my mom and dad at the time and he came to mine the next day and like all of us were just standing on the doors like they're not a few of them not on my door and we're just stood like chatting well i'd go well i'd go on out age like drinking age but just for some reason i think one of the lads had to go somewhere i think his car was on the drive and we're just standing talking at my front door and it was like he was one of them was like

oh look at this man and like lift his back up it honestly looked like, it looked like he ran away from the police through some bushes, like he was that, like his back was just torn to ribbons, and I remember, I knew my mum was in the house as well, it was like a Sunday morning, and I leant on the doorbell on purpose,

I leant on my doorbell, and I was like, and I leant on the doorbell, and I went, shows your back again, and he turned around, and I was laughing, my mum opened the door,

and saw it, I was laughing my fucking head off that's all Christopher babadoo babadoo babadoo hello

I love yous too that's nice this is a little bit of a Rosie's Mysteries actually but obviously we can't do the theme tune anymore

because people are bellend so we'll just do the Mysteries Mysteries Mysteries Mysteries just a quick one. My sister

just rang me. She was walking home and it's windy as duck in Gateshead at the moment. Fantastic. Whilst on the phone, something hit her in the face. Something that stuck. What was it in the lovely land of Gateshead that hit her in the face that day?

I'll tell you right now because I know exactly what it is and I'll tell you. Why? How? It was a sanitary pad. It was not a sanitary pad. Really? It wasn't? It wasn't a sanitary pad.

See, because, right, I just remember, I remember, I used to walk out of my mum and dad's estate when I was walking to school when I was a kid, and there was a lamppost that we used to walk past, and for, I'm not joking, for about a month, there was a sanitaryost that we used to walk past and for I'm not joking for about a month there was a sanity pad stuck on it for about a month someone had just either

slapped it on or the wind had blown it on and it was stuck there and then no one took it off for like a month oh god that's crazy and I remember saying I remember going who glued that and someone went oh no they've got sticky things on them and I went all right oh yeah yeah yeah so it was just stuck that really someone just stuck well and good bloody well wind rain and shine it was there Rosie yeah okay then so something just

blew in her face whilst she was walking through the city centre whilst she was on her phone it blew and it hit her I mean I'm thinking about the we've all seen that

viral clip of the guy getting interviewed outside the houses of parliament and a Greggs bag hits him in the face that was very funny Greggs love that

I almost couldn't finish the sentence if i laugh um something brewing that condom condom wrapper a used condom shut the oh no used condom how how windy is it to be lifting that in the air and it's stuck there's a would you rather here sorry can i just say, if I was walking down the street and someone was walking along on their phone and a used condom hit them in the face and stuck there,

I would die. Laugh. I would laugh so much. I know. It wouldn't even be one of them things where you know when someone falls over and you go, oh God, are you okay? And then you walk away further

and you go, hmm. I would scream. Have you ever been hit with a plastic bag in your face I've got one of me I've got one of me foot before and I couldn't get it off

and everyone was laughing at me one's got in my face before it's actually quite terrifying for a split second you're like I'm

dying I'm fucking dying like honestly it is the goddess the mob the mob of goddesses

in the movies they put a bag over there yeah it's horrible and you have to like peel it off Rosie Ramsey sleeps with the fishes The mob have got us. And the movies have put it back over there. It's horrible. Then you have to like peel it off. Rosie Ramsey sleeps with the fishes.

It's not nice. It's not nice. Would you like the would you rather? Yeah. Would you rather be hit in the face by a cold used condom that's collected other crap on the street or a lovely warm one? Fresh from the dick. Literally just

out the window. Whose dick? Can I pick whose dick it is or is it going to be something awful? Whose dick? Do you want it to be a famous dick or just a... I'd probably rather it was a famous dick. Okay, let's... Right, a famous dick. I can't think of one. Can't think of a famous dick okay let's right a famous dick

let me think I can't think of one can't think of a famous dick Idris Elba I'm I'm picking warm yeah just because it's Idris Elba

well do you know what it is right do you know what it is I'm going on record here I'd let Idris Elba throw his used condom in my face I think

he's that fit I mean I'd hope I'd get pregnant this is the worst thing we've ever said thing he's that fit i mean i'd hope i'd get pregnant guys we're joking we're joking um i would genuinely not knowing whose dick it is doesn't really matter um that's a really good would you rather would you rather have a used condom that's run around the floor yeah so it's got like hair on and bits of stuff

and that it's probably got a tab end bits of grit yeah it's rolled around the floor and stuff or just fresh or a fresh one

that's just hit us and you go that's still warm it's got to be far away man cold nah I think the cold one what why

I feel like the warm one's worse do you yeah well I'd be like oh is that so someone basically thrown out of a window is that's what's happening that's what's happening right and it's came through a window and it's slapped there's five minutes it's a really windy day right right there's five minutes in between right so it's really windy five minutes is it is it tied in a knot or am i gonna get is it gonna hit us there's no time to tie it's just

so it's gonna like run down the top and that and everything straight off and out right the um the cold one then because hopefully there's time for all of the stuff to come out of it and hopefully the run the blown around has blew some juices off it and stuff okay i feel sick this is awful i feel sick big big shout out to yourself before and you know what it is he's a legend i know i know he ties them bad lads up and puts him in the bin i know he does is he's a legend I know he ties them bad lads up and puts them in the bin I know he does because he's a legend yeah

yeah he probably does Idris if you're listening email in and tell us Idris I hope to god you are not listening drop it have you

yeah the NME awards I was just I was genuinely only trying to think of a lush celebrity who's the luscious man

the sexiest man in the world yeah because if I had said to you in character the dad of shameless hot or cold there you go that's very dangerous because there's thousands of pounds worth of recording

equipment in front of us and you said that when I took a drink of water and I nearly spat all over my laptop and that would have been the end of this episode but that's different hot or cold the dad in character

so not I don't know his name in real life I'm so sorry but he's a great actor so the dad in character from Shameless

hot or cold cold he'll always cold I need time for things to die yes there'd be more like dirt off the street and that on

but you know there's not going to be like horrendous just to let you all know we've been long listed for a national comedy award what a great moment to tell everyone

guys you want to vote for us talking about having a warm or a cold condom thrown in your face it just screams awards to me it screams awards

yeah you can vote at just Google National Comedy Awards 2021. I'd be meant to win that. It's on the long-listed, yeah. Yeah, it'll be lovely. It'll even be shortlisted on the night just to get a little mention. It'll be lovely. So if you can vote on there, that'll be lovely. We can't go to the actual awards ceremony, which is annoying.

We're in Birmingham. We're in Birmingham. We're in Birmingham. We are. It's still available. So there you go. There you go. Can't wait.

Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Hi, Chris and Rosie. After listening to episodes 136 and 137 and the backlog of nail-related cues from the pews, I felt compelled to write in and share the odd and most definitely gross arrangement me and my partner have. Oh, no.

Please keep us anonymous. We'll know it's us if you read it out. Trust me. No. They will, because there's not a lot of people doing this I don't think

right okay so my first admission that I know will make you both hate me is that I love to pop spots either mine or someone else's you're very wrong

that doesn't make us hate you at all no I love it I actually follow a pop spotting account on Instagram and every time pop spotting

what did I say pop spotting oh it's spot-popping? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Every time it comes up, a little bit of anxiety leaves my body. It's lovely. I get very excited when I realise I've got a blackhead.

I had one the other day, and I was away on tour, and I squeezed it, and I said, Rosie's going to be very angry that I didn't let her do that. No, I don't like squeezing other people's. I like watching. Okay, then.

Well, there we go. Well, now I know I can just squeeze them whenever I want. I'd be like one of them creepy people in Squid Game, just watching. Yeah. I wouldn't want to other people's. I like watching. Okay, then. Well, there we go. Well, now I know I can just squeeze anyone I want. I'd be like one of them creepy people in Squid Game just watching. Yeah. I wouldn't want to kill them. With your mask on. I'd just watch. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Betting extortionate amounts of money on whether it would hit the mirror or not. Exactly. My boyfriend tends to get breakouts often enough, so I always have pimples to pick at, and I love it. Bless him, first of all. Bless him. Well, however, it hurts my boyfriend's face when I do this. On his face. Come on, man.

So, we have this arrangement to make things more fair, right? For some context, my boyfriend does martial arts and is very flexible. He also, like myself, loves to bite his fingernails. But due to his flexibility, he can also bite his toenails.

Oh, no. He does it all the time when we're just relaxing watching stuff together and it's so odd to watch. However however Sorry I do hate them now. Can I just put that in there? That's fine. I hate him for doing that.

I hate him for doing that. I hate her for allowing that to happen. And I hate him even more for the fact that I could go, that's disgusting, and then he could just do some ninja stuff on us and beat the fuck out of us. Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. I hate him so much.

This is relationships, though, isn't it? They're just watching telly, and he's just biting his toenails. Like a dog on the rug licking its bollocks. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, however, unfortunately, I've just added unfortunately, because of how often he does this he really has long enough nails to bite oh no no no either finger or toe no no no no no no

so no no no no in order to make things fair and to get him to keep letting me pop his spots i let him bite my toenails when his aren't long enough. Dirty horrible pigs. Pigs. You disgusting, horrible, dirty, filthy pigs. Chris, he sometimes pinches my toes or pulls too much nail and makes my toes bleed. You couple

of horrors. You horrors. And I'm very, I'm shaking. But it's all worth it to be able to pop those juicy spots oh man

you absolute disgust oh but do you think they're happy they seem to love each other oh

god yeah but that doesn't doesn't make it right doesn't make it right it's not it's you know i'm normally quite that's that's awful that like he's picking he's biting his own toenails to the point of where there's no toenails to bite that's fair enough bite your own no it's no i know but just do that do what you want to walk do what you want but didn't but it's you know what for me it's dirty for me

I'll let you do that so I can pop your spots yeah exactly like an arrangement oh god honestly I bet you when he goes to sleep I bet he nips down to the fridge

and gets a big handful of butter and rubs it on his face while he's asleep to try and get more spots oh swapping his face wash for grease watering

watering down his clear cell You fucking enabler He's giving her vitamin D and calcium tablets He's spiking her with them in a lasagna Just get them bones and get them teeth and hair growing nice A bit of calcium A bit of calcium for you A bit of milk thistle.

Do you want a bowl of cereal before bed? This isn't Cheerios, this is loads of tablets. Just eat them. Brilliant. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah! Hi Chris and Rosie, I had to get in touch immediately. I'm sat listening to episode 140 and you've just discussed the lady who has never eaten a Big Mac.

Criminal, if you ask me ask me anyways what shocked me more was when you said more fool you right i'm 32 years old and i've spent the whole of my life saying more for you am i wrong yes or are you wrong i'm shocked and somewhat embarrassed so so it's more fool you, but she's been going, more for you. That doesn't make any sense. No, it doesn't. It's also bigger fool you or more fool you. I say bigger fool you. I say more fool you.

More fool you. Right. Not more for you. Right. And she said here, I'm a primary school teacher from Solihull. Brilliant. And this is just another reason. A couple of generations of kids who don't know how to say phrases,

because thanks to you, Mrs. There's another reason why I absolutely should not be a teacher. Another embarrassing one is when I used to say nip it in the butt instead of nip it in the bud. God, Lord. Mm-hmm.

It's the confidence of never checking. Yeah. I mean, I say that. For the first few episodes of the podcast, I used to, when I was doing my sponsor, I wasn't 100% sure that the phrase was out. Further ado or further ado. Yeah, without further ado.

I wasn't 100% sure that the phrase wasn't further ado without further ado I wasn't 100% sure that the phrase wasn't without further ado so I used to say it really quickly and then I thought I better check this so I checked it

and what is it without further ado is the phrase but it's the way people just barrel on with the confidence I'm so bad with phrases you're terrible

I can't even judge this person because I am terrible yeah you're the worst terrible you're the worst at phrases you should probably never do that show on the telly

where you've got to do the phrases for the telly that I did and I won. Imagine if you did that. What that would be like. Oh, that would be funny. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, back. Hi, guys. I've worked for Wagamamas for 11 years and just wanted to let you know that your tour manager

is not alone in attempting to eat the entire edamame pod. Got you. It's one of the most awkward things you have to explain to someone if they complain that they're undercooked as usually you're 99% sure that that's what they're doing and don't want to sound patronising. I also have a story. I've got an update on that, by the way.

All right, yeah. So I said to him the other day because obviously he said he said his friend first of all his friend listens

to the podcast regularly right his friend who I've met before at a gig who also is like he's in the touring kind of industry okay

he said that he'd listen to it and he basically phoned Paul and said you're an idiot took the piss out of him and then he said his other friend was the same

and she said, what's the point in them? The first time she ate them, she ate the husk of it as well. And she was like, what's the point though? Because they put loads of salt and seasoning on the husk

and then you don't even eat that anyway. I went, yeah, but you put it in your mouth to get the beans out. Yeah, you pull them out. And he went, do you? And I went, what were you doing? he went

I was just squeezing them into me hand he just squeezed it into like a fucking toothpaste but imagine if imagine if you just got a bowl full of the actual edamame beans

it would be like a quarter full it would be shit but also sorry just to say as well his friend who listens got him with a really good one the other day

he told Paul Kim in my dressing room he was like yeah he went my friend's just really got it he was like i'm all flustered so his friend his friend texted him and said oh you got a mention on the podcast this week from chris and rosie and he went did i what was the mention and he's his mate had said to him that me and you said on the podcast that uh he's um he's got no uh boundary he doesn't know anything about personal boundaries in the van and he's really he's like really rude

and stuff and he was gutted until his mate said he was joking that's cruel very funny but cruel his little glasses

were steamed up when he said it I love Paul I don't have a bad word said against him best guy ever it says here I also have a story

that tops it once I took my family to Wagamama's for a meal. There were quite a lot of us. I wasn't paying too much attention to what everyone was eating. My grandma said that those beans are halfy chewy. Excuse the Scots. They're halfy chewy.

In a Scottish accent, how do you say that? Those beans are halfy chewy. It's halfy chewy. So she means they're very chewy. And I assumed she was eating the whole pod. So I told her she's just meant to eat the beans in the middle, to which she replied, what beans?

Turns out, she was eating the empty pods that everyone else had been putting in the discarded bowl. This was hilarious, but not entirely surprising. Just one of those classic grandma stories, as she's always doing and saying ridiculous things god love her it's even worse

she's eating slavery old husks yeah that's bad who I love you've been listening to Shad Mardenoid with me you didn't like that

did you what have you done I don't know we're part of the Acast Great Network oh yeah and so professional and so professional

with it guys as always thank you so much for listening if you want to get in touch it is shagmarinoid at gmail.com if you want to come and see us live

on tour in one of the multiple arenas we are doing all around the country we'd love to have you there shagmarinoid.com all of the dates

are on there and we will see you very soon I'm dying to be backing you I'm dying I'm going to be backing you next week

bye bye you're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway the visionary

behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series this unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Jimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder.

April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit TSO.ca. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now

to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game, and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com.