Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 146. Liquid Gold

Episode Date: December 10, 2021

On this week’s podcast Chris and Rosie have forgone the beefs for just some old school bickering! Rosie has been to a Panto and Chris has some tour gripes he wants to share. As well cracking QFTP’s there’s some informative phone calls with Rosie’s siblings. Enjoy!  Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This Friday, you must be very careful, Margaret. It's a girl. Witness the birth of evil. It's all for you, no don't. The First Omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil.

Movie of the year. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. Who said that? The First Omen. In theaters Friday. Get tickets now. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental

Health to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Hello, you're listening to Shag, Mind and Oin with me, Rosie Ramsey, and my husband, Chris Ramsey.

Thank you so much for coming back. Lovely to have you. Hi. Hiya. Straight in there. Straight in with a thanks. I didn't even get to say hello. Oh, sorry.

I thank you as well, because I'm also here, everyone. Sorry, I didn't mean to do that. I'm in a bit of a fluster. You are. You've just literally came in the door. I've just come in from seeing my friend in Panto, and I'm all a fluster. Oh, no, i'm not oh yes

i am oh jesus christmas is this going to be panto sort of inspired it's a lot though because um obviously it's my friend my very good friend jojo and she was in the time theater panto and it was very very good really enjoyed it big up to the cast though great but holy shit 10 a.m panto it's the only time i could go it's the only time i could go because we got the tour yeah and obviously we're so busy but i was like i need to go and support my friend and so i've been at the 10 o'clock showing how many they're doing today so they've got another one and a half five jesus yeah so who the fuck's going to the 10 o'clock one? Oh, it's kids. Oh, schools, school trips.

There's about four schools then. Right, that makes sense. Right, and you. And me and Kelly at the back row. At least you'll be in the same height as everyone. Great. They were really well behaved, actually. I've been desperate to tell you this

since I walked in the door, right? You'll love this. So obviously the schools were in and they were hilarious and they were just shouting along and it was dead. Kids are lush, man. I love watching kids.

And it was great. And obviously there's a baddie in the pantomime yes and they were like boo booing all the way through and then the quarter at the end right and they were like the goodies were like what should we do with our kids now that we're caught her, what do you do with her? And the kids, a couple of them were like, Kill her! Fucking hell. That's a Geordie pantomime for you. Kill the bitch! The guy was like, it's a bit intense. I was absolutely howling just out of nowhere.

Kill her! Kill her! Jesus. I love it. Meanets of Newcastle man I know yeah kill or be killed kill or be killed

they know what's going on but it was it was really really good wow very intense for 10 o'clock in the morning but I enjoyed it a lot great

do you want to do you want to know about my day what I've done you've told us yeah you sorted the garage out yeah did a

cut loads of cardboard boxes up yeah jumped them down on them in the bin got them nice and flat in the bottom of the bin bought some logs right

put them under the under the thing so they don't get wet got them did you put a wash on what I don't eat

don't because I'm seething I put a roof tile back in that was half hanging out I say I did the window cleaner did it you got like a 35 foot pole so you basically you've done stuff that didn't need to be done I put a roof tile back in that was half hanging out I say I did the window cleaner did it you got like a 35 foot pole

so you basically you've done stuff that didn't need to be done I put all the boxes empty boxes have you made the bed hmm have you made the bed

have you made the beds because I didn't get a chance this morning what bed have you opened the curtains have you made the beds have you run a hoover around I did open the curtains

and I did run a hoover around yeah but I'm not making beds you're getting back in them tonight waste of time time is money what a horrible way to live time is money

what a horrible way to live I put all the empty Christmas boxes from the trees that were You're getting back in them tonight. Waste of time. What a horrible way to live. Time is money. What a horrible way to live. I put all the empty Christmas boxes from the trees that were put up yesterday back in the loft. So yeah, I've done all right. Done quite well. You've done stuff that didn't need to be done. I poured you a drink of water for when you got here. That was on the table. Thank you.

I did that. Appreciate it. Yeah, so that's me. Your brain. Honestly, your brain just baffles me. Yeah. So basically, just to let you all know, the garage, we've been moved in since March and we've been so busy.

You fucking feel like it. Well, we've been really, really busy. We haven't had any spare time to sort out the garage. So the garage is just full of stuff, right? Mainly in cardboard boxes. Just loads of stuff, loads of crap, right, that you have. In a house, you've just got the crap room and the garage is our crap room, right? But you can shut the door.

And I am very good at, I just don't, I forget that it exists, right? Chris can't stop thinking about it. I can't. You think about it all the time. Morning, noon and night. But we genuinely, this is no joke, I didn't get to say it to you, but I thought, you know, if he's got time, he'd probably put a wash on. We need clothes washed

for going back on tour tomorrow and you haven't done it but hey you need clothes washed you need clothes washed I don't need any at least them boxes

are all are all flat so well done is there a room with all your dirty clothes and just shut the door and forget about them

I need them why but I you should have enough you're new to touring life i literally take 10 pairs of boxer shorts if i'm going away for one day i've got so i've got a surplus of you're gonna shit yourself yeah yeah yeah yeah it's i just pack constantly so many things you're just gonna learn how to pack you've got to learn how to hold clothes back for tours i've got suitcases full of stuff that i know if i need to quickly nip out bang the suitcase is there the

clothes are there the socks are there everything's's there. I don't have that. Someone's like, top it up with a couple of pairs of kegs and then I'm off. I'm out the door, bish, bosh, bosh. I'm on stage. Hey, three pairs of kegs on. Why? Because I can. Because I've got them.

I don't have that life. Right. Okay. Well, you're getting there. You're getting there. But listen, before we go any further, it is time for this week's lucrative, lucrative sponsor. This week's sponsor is...

Yeah. Chatting to someone who's got a snot hanging out of their nose, but you don't know them well enough to to someone who's got a snot hanging out of their nose but you don't know them well enough to tell them they've got a snot hanging out of their nose. When's it happened? It was the other day. Recently? Yeah, it was the other day it happened and I was talking to someone and I thought I don't know you well

enough to do this. We've spoke about this before though. We have but it happened literally the other day and I was like no. But you're of the one that you would tell them I would never tell anyone. So if I know someone a little bit I would tell them but when I've just met them I found out that I wouldn't, I thought I would but I actually wouldn't do that. And weirdly I had a nightmare last night that I was standing talking to someone for ages and I had a snot hanging out my nose. And that was a nightmare wasn't it? That's the kind of nightmares, I woke up in a cold sweat.

Really? That's the kind of nightmares I'm having these days, yeah. That's where my brain's at. Wow. It was literally a big dangler. And I was chatting away to someone. And they were like, oh. And then I walked away.

And I looked in the mirror. And I was like, no. A massive dangler. Not again. No. What have I done? I couldn't sleep last night. I was so cold.

Sandra turned the heating off in my room, you know. I think she probably had to. She did. No, she did. I rang out of the day. And I went, did you turn the heating off completely in our bedroom? And she was like, that was the thing I meant to did you turn the heating off completely in our bedroom and she was like that was the thing I meant to tell you

before I left brilliant brilliant do you know she's also fucking got rid of the pipe cleaners as well you know the pipe cleaners

they use for cleaning Rafe's bottles every time she's here for a couple of days she fucking just slings them she just slings them in the bin she's like

they're annoying I've had to go and find another one from somewhere she's a fucking nightmare in her defence you're the only one who uses them to clean these bottles. You don't use the pipe cleaners. Do I, shite?

Why? Because it'll be ill. You've got to clean these little crevices in the bottles. You've got to clean them out. The hot water does it enough. That's disgusting. No, but these bottles are never sat long enough with milk in to get cruddy or anything. Well, if it goes in the bit that you can't see.

That's you. That's you all over. Nobody uses the attachments to shit except you. Oh, if it goes in the bit that you can't see. That's you. That's you all over. Nobody uses the attachments to shit except you. Yeah. Oh, you love an attachment. Bullshit. Oh, you do though.

You love an attachment. I can't believe the side you've come on. You buy something. You buy something, right? And anyone else, the attachments, you go,

oh, they're canny. Never use them. You are literally like, when can I use this? Oh, I'll use it now. Click, click, click, click. Right. Oh, God, I hate people like you

so listen to me right now you're telling me now you're telling me now you swear down on our children's lives that you were not excited when I got that attachment on the hoover and it was a nozzle

but it had a light on it oh fuck Chris I couldn't give a shit you were buzzing you liar I was not you were so impressed I was not it's like a hoover lightsaber

it's amazing I've never used it have you used it bullshit of course I used it this morning oh god you get right in behind the Christmas tree and you can see what you're doing because it's got I've never used it have you used it of course I used it this morning oh god you can get right in behind the

Christmas tree and you can see what you're doing because it's got a torch on it phenomenal and I didn't know it had a torch on it

until I pulled the trigger and I honestly one of the best days of my life when I put that on it's up there it's up there I hate

I hate attachments I hate attachments the really upset is I hate attachments I find actually honestly the talking about the planet and all that

and saving the planet. Stop making attachments for shit. Stop making attachments. Nobody gives a crap. So how do you hoover a really tight corner that you can't get into or a really tight thing down the side of something? What do you do?

I'll just, I'll move it around. You just fucking leave it, don't you? I'll leave it or I'll get a dustpan and brush. Brilliant. What if it's a thing that's like an inch wide that you can't get in but you'd have to get in with an attachment? Oh, there's no...

Stop it now stop it you're being ridiculous maybe you need one of the attachments oh no just one it's falling apart here

I'll have you on a by the way if I kept going I could have you on a fucking tool belt of attachments by the end of this you absolutely will not

do us another one no I've used the one okay right okay I'll admit this I've used the one the straight and narrow one

for skirting boards okay I haven't used I've never used the one with the bristles for stairs. There's a smaller head one for hoovering your car. Sorry, did you just spit juice back into the glass? I've never

hoovered my car in my life. Wow. There's a narrower one for hoovering the stairs? No. No? It's not part of my life, sorry. That's awful. No. That's just awful. What are you going to do? Hate attachments.

You've kind of stumped us lately because the Hoover we got did come with about 70 of them and I do want to use two. Ridiculous. That's annoying. Tell us something else with attachments and I'll tell you how much bullshit they are. I don't know what other things have attachments.

Loads of stuff. You've got a Dyson A1. That's got another bit on. Ridiculous. Right? I've only used one of them. Right. One of the curling things. It's got hot push on it. You've got a Dyson A-Wand. That's got another bit on. Ridiculous. Right. I've only used one of them. Right.

One of the curling things. It's got hot push on it. I've never used that. You've used the curling thing but

you also used the hair dryer thing as well. Right. That's it. So you do use an attachment. So you do use an

attachment. The attachment. The attachment. The main thing. Fuck off. The main show. That's awful. I'm annoyingly stumped. I'm pissed off. What main show. It's awful. I'm annoyingly stumped.

I'm pissed off. What else has attachments? Fuck. I bet your toothbrush that says hello to you came with attachments. Some bollocks. No, one that was your toothbrush. And no, it just comes with separate heads. Just other heads.

Same ones. Other heads that do what? Brush your fucking teeth, you moron. What do you think you're doing? Clean inside your gums. No, but you do press the button differently if you want whitening or if you want polish

or if you want, no? No, I haven't had either. Can't be arsed. It's really professional that you keep taking a drink of your drink

and blowing in your glass during the podcast. Honestly, get back to the fucking pantomime. No one wants you here. Sick of you. Oh, yes,

they do. Killer! Killer! Jesus. Passive aggressive. Sorry. sick of you oh yes they do killer killer Jesus passive aggressive sorry slagging off attachments do you know what it is I'm tired

and I'm due on oh god man you're always due on honestly guys can someone get a fucking compilation of her stage and just due on

sick of it I am due on you can't just you can't just be a dick and then just go I'm due on it's fine no it's not it's true it's a fact not then just go, I'm due on, it's fine. No, it's true.

No. It's a fact. Not allowed. Fact of life. I'm not having it. I'm not having it. Can we crack on? We haven't even done the fucking jingle yet.

That'll cheer you up. Oh, God. Right, here's the jingle. Ugh, I hate that. We had a fight about the jingle, jingle. We couldn't settle on a jingle, jingle. So this is the jingle, jingle We hope you like the jingle, jingle

Babadoo babadoo babadoo bap Jingle! Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of Shagged, Married, Annoyed Lovely to have you back We've had a word Yeah, we've sort of had a word We're alright Sorry about the negative vibe.

Do you know what's the matter with me? Mostly at the minute. How long you got? No, quite. I'll tell you. So, you'll not be aware of this because halfway through the night well, Rafe came in our bed and then Robin came in our bed. I was awake because I had to fuck off after Robin's bed.

And then I had to make you go. So, sorry about that. But last night I couldn't sleep right because this is so ridiculous. I couldn't sleep because we're on tour at the minute, which is absolutely unbelievable. Big shout out to everyone who's been so far. You guys have been amazing crowds. We're doing arenas.

It's fucking like I can't believe I literally pinching myself. Right. But I miss the boys so much yeah and i couldn't sleep last night because all i could think about was how much i missed them and they were in the bed with us and i was laying there going you're you're losing your mind you're losing your mind because you can't sleep because you're worried and you you miss your children so much and they're literally here and i was, what's the matter with this? What's wrong with this?

So, yeah, that's currently... Like, cards on the table, I really miss them. Yeah, when we're away. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you really know how to ruin time away from the kids, like. So I'll say, people post and stuff, and they're like, oh, we've got a child-free night, let's have a great time.

We have a child-free night, and you sit there gutted about the kids, but then we come home, and you're gutted about the kids. You're like, we've got a child free night let's have a great time we have a child free night and you sit there gutted about the kids but then we come home and you're gutted about the kids you're like i need time honestly it's like living with a fucking someone who's on shuffle we come home and you're like oh god rave's all over us when i'm asleep middle of the night and that when he pulls me hair which is oh i'm knackered off the kids oh chris you've been away i've got the kids all the time the kids the kids the kids hey we're going on tour that'll be fun I miss the kids honestly you really know how to shit all over

that fucking tour alright we're in the no no I think we're having a fight mum and daddy are getting divorced we're in the dressing room

and you're just like and you're sitting there and you're like I don't want to wear and I miss the kids and I want to literally shake it and go oh fucker

I used to work in pontons and sing for pissed people dressed up as a fucking monkey you're about to do an arena show of your own podcast you piece of ungrateful no i'm not ungrateful i'm not i know you're not and i'm joe i'm half joking you're just uh i'm riddled with mother's guilt yeah i can't shake it and my mum, bless her, my mum's like Rosie you need to stop it they're never going to remember and I'm like mum, I don't remember you going away until I was about

nine, they never went away at all my mum and dad, they never went for a weekend away, they never went out and I'm like, don't give me this bullshit of they'll not remember they will remember and I know but they never went out. And I'm like, don't give me this bullshit of they'll not remember. They will remember. And I know.

But anyway, we've got six more left. But we're home quite a bit as well, you know. When we're home, we are home intense periods for quite a while. It's not like we're on nine to five and we'll come home at night.

Oh, I know. Everyone's situation's different, I know. Yeah. That's just currently how I feel at the minute. Goodness me. But I do enjoy when we're away,

when I put them out my mind. When I'm getting ready for the gigs, watching Selling Sunset, I'm having a bloody lovely time. Everyone, listen, right? When Rosie is on stage for that sort of two hours that we do that arena show, that is what you get.

That is the happiest you get of her. Always pray for me because we get off stage and I just get a load of shit. Afterwards, all the way through the next day, all the way into the next moment, just before we're about to go on stage she normally says sorry and gives us a kiss and says she loves us

and then we do the gig the gig's amazing then we come off and then she fucking turns into a cunt again it's graft that's horrible get me back on tour

with Carl Hutchinson alright aye aye aye get me back in my stand up tour smaller venues but I couldn't give a shit. Am I that bad?

There's enjoyment in it. Don't. Am I that bad? I thought we were having quite a nice time. Yeah. Wow. When we're on stage, it's brilliant. If anything, guys, everyone who comes to the arenas,

can you just follow us around for the full day so that I get a good version of Rosie? Because I don't think about the kids when we're on stage. Oh, yeah. Because I've got a focus. Yeah, yeah. But then when I get off... I miss them, but it's not even that I miss them. I just feel so bad that I'm not there.

As well, while we're talking about this, when we're in the dressing rooms, you put Sel and Sunset on, and you get your big massive fucking huge pre-lit mirror that the tour manager has to carry around in a van for you. Guys, it's massive. It's like she's bringing a fucking deck chair

and it opens three times with a mirror. It's like a touring mirror. And you sit and you put your makeup on and your fanny on and you sit watching Selling Sunset blasting.

I just feel like if I brought me PlayStation, me two-hour PlayStation that I've got and sat and started playing on it, I feel like I'd get bollocked. Wow, I wouldn't tell you.

So I can bring me PlayStation. Of course you can. I can sit backstage on me PlayStation. Are you kidding us? It would mean you wouldn't talk you so I can bring my playstation of course you can I can sit backstage on my playstation it would mean you wouldn't talk to us this is fantastic backfired in the most

fantastic way ever yeah no take it with you do you know what she's a bloody joy to be on tour with everyone you dig she's bloody fantastic

oh no you've made your bed now you've made your bed oh no I haven't actually I didn't make the bed I never do can you please take it back

what because you've just absolutely had my life there I'm not that bad. We're having a nice time. Yeah, we are having a nice time. You're not that bad, but this is just

a comedy podcast. I'm exaggerating for comedy. All right, okay. There you go, guys. His secrets come out now. His whole life is exaggerating for comedy. I almost don't want

to bring in a Babadoo Bar because I know you're going to hit the deck again. Because this is a performance. Babadoo Bar, I miss the bands. Hey, welcome back to Shagminingity I miss the hey welcome back to Shagmining

I miss the bands welcome back to Shagmining I feel like I'm too honest I feel like I should have left this part of my life in the shadows

should I just not have said anything what do you mean should I just not ever say that I miss the kids no you don't I miss the kids

but I am allowed to take the piss out of you for anything and everything that's my job fair enough nice jumper on today by the way lovely jumper on thank you so much it's the first time i've worn this very nice a bit short see what i mean see what she does do you see what she does i didn't even plan i didn't even plan that and she calls me mr glass half full and everything because i'm saying my jumper's short yeah yeah it's just because companies seem to

just make really short clothes they don't make proper and I'm short however then when you wear a dress or a jumpsuit you say they're too long

too long can't win Chris you're a morning you're a morning fucker is what you are love kill her kill her off put her out of her misery

I don't admit it listen I love you really and I'm having a great time on tour with you and all the people who have come to see the show we fucking love you as well you're honestly making

our lives it's great how good have the beefs been so good oh my word the beefs have made my life as well if you've still if you've got any beefs that you want to send in

if you're coming to the shows coming up I think our Robin producer always says that some of them some of them get loads and then some of them it's a little bit like come on need a few more and the link is in

my bio on instagram if you want to go on there and dig your partner out some can we say some of them we might as well because we've done them now why not we um in where was it the other night the best one yet was sexy girl where was that oh that? Oh, we were in Nottingham. Mm-hmm, Nottingham. We were in Nottingham a couple of weeks ago. And yeah, a lady's beef with her husband, our fella, was that he calls the dog, he calls their dog a sexy girl. A sexy girl.

But he doesn't give her any compliments. She was literally like, he does not compliment me me ever but he will call the dog a sexy girl at the drop of a hat and I mean we had his fucking life for hours it kept going back to him the whole crowd it was incredible yeah sexy girl you can be anonymous if you want or you can

say your name and don't own up to it like most of the people do yeah it's so strange some people own up to really really really filthy stuff and stand up own up to it like most of the people do. Yeah, it's so strange. Some people own up to really, really, really filthy stuff and stand up and wave to everyone, and other people just, it's something really, really weird, like you never take the bins out, anonymous, and you're like, eh?

Yeah. What fucking kind of life you got? I think once the tour's done as well, I think maybe in January, I think we should do some of the questions, because I've got brand new, I've been doing brand new questions for every night of the tour.

So they're always different. The second half of the show, I don't know what happened. You have no idea. And I think we might have to do some of them on the podcast because I think if you haven't been able to see the shows.

Yeah. Because some of them have been so good and some of them have been in the audience. Oh yeah. Like the other night. Liverpool. Well, there was Liverpool, but also in Edinburgh,

there was the girl whose mom used to use a dildo as a neck massager. Yeah. Do you remember? And they were both there. They were both in the crowd. It was incredible.

We're having a bloody lovely time. Only on stage. The rest of it is actually awful. We have a lovely time from the miniature walks out until the miniature walks back off and then it's all just horrible. I don't want to dwell on this too much,

but I'm a little bit upset because I genuinely thought we were having quite a nice time. We are on stage. Oh, piss off. I thought we upset because I genuinely thought we were having quite a nice time. We are on stage. I thought we were having a good time. We are having a lovely time. Is it radiating off us? Look, we are having a lovely time

sitting in them hotel rooms listening to How Much You Miss The Kids. I'm having a lovely time. You're not enjoying watching all the videos. I'm having a lovely time going through old photos of the kids, seeing how much you miss the kids, seeing what time you want to get back for the kids.

It's really good fun. Honestly, I'm having a lovely time going through old photos of the kids, seeing how much you miss the kids, seeing what time you want to get back for the kids. It's really good fun. Honestly, I'm having a great, great time. And then we come back, and then you go on about being tired because of the kids. It's just class. Yeah, honestly, I'm just having a mint. I'm living my best life. Such a great...

I'm totally joking. I miss them as well, for fuck's sake. But I just, you know, I can hide it better because I'm a bloke. You bang on. Yeah. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo babadoo babadoo bah right listen yeah

we have just been during the babadoo bah that you would have heard which would have it would have literally lasted seconds but we've just had a little conversation

about whether we should do the beefs or not because it's a bit beefy I feel like you've absolutely pummeled us this morning and not in like the fun

I should be so lucky nice way kind of pummeling you too busy missing the kids now listen I've got something to cheer you up but you know it's funny

I don't want any more kids exactly no pummeling at all no pummeling please listen what yeah this will cheer you up

okay so I haven't told you this right oh I love stuff that you haven't told us my mum and dad came to look after the kids that you missed

the other day right yeah and my dad came in wearing a gilet that i'd bought him right he had a lovely jumper on and he had this sort of navy blue i remember was it for his birthday or christmas i can't remember yeah i think we got it for father's day or something i don't know we didn't see him at the time i remember god knows but anyway posted him posted him so my mom and him came in and uh i said oh yeah it looks really good that yeah i mean mom stopped and went bill my dad went yeah and she went tell chris what you've been

calling that and he went what and she went tell chris what you have been calling that gilet and he went oh you'll do it on the podcast man i went well of course i will if it's funny my dad has been referring to his gilet to his friends out and about and until me mam pulled him up on it he has been calling it a gullet. Numerous times apparently out and about. I thought he might have said Gillette or something

Gullet he's been calling it a gullet the man's a maniac oh oh yeah he's saying me new gullet apparently he's in the house and he went

where's me new she went do you want a jacket on he went no I'll wear me gullet she went, do you want a jacket on? He went, no, I'll wear me gullet. She went, what? So there you go. That doesn't cheer you up nothing, will it? I'm well done for keeping that from us. I'm glad you did. Well done. Hey, that's hilarious. He's gullet. Hey, Bill.

My God. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah! So we have took the difficult decision to not do a beef this week. No. Because it's already been quite catty, quite argumentative. You're quite fragile.

Yeah. And I've apologised. Yeah. And also I've had such a go at you for other things that I'm actually worried what the beef will be and I feel like it might be really bad and I might cry. Yeah, let's, we'll leave it out.

Hey, chickens. No, I love you. I love you. I love you too. What you've got to realise, and I feel like it might be really bad and I might cry yeah let's we'll leave it out hey chickens no I love you I love you too what you've got to realise and I know you all realise this but I think sometimes I don't know I don't know actually people forget

but we are genuinely a married couple and this is genuine in our life and I think if we did a beef I think it would turn into a full on row actually so let's leave it out

they want that though that's the worst bit is there's people listening going go on fucking do it go on go on I've got some

really good questions yeah because you've been getting them for the live shows haven't you but then you've been siphoning some off for the podcast as well

it's really really difficult because I'm reading them and I'm going oh should that go in the tour or should it go in the podcast and now it's really difficult to try and decide

because obviously I want the tours to be shit hot but at the same time the podcast needs to be shit hot, but at the same time, the podcast needs to be shit hot as well. That might. So I'm in a bloody predicament. Exactly.

Great. But I've got some good ones. Shall we go straight to questions from the public? Well, in that case, it's time for questions from the public. Questions from the public. Public. As always, guys,

if you want to get in touch, is shagmarydenoyed At gmail.com Please send in All of your questions Your stories Your dilemmas All of that stuff We bloody love it

Whether it gets used On the podcast Or the live shows It's always fucking great Thank you very very much Yeah keep sending them in And if you are coming To any of the tours

That we've got coming up We've got six left Send them in for them Because it's always better If they're there It's so much fun if they're there. So much fun if they're there. I forgot, but we had one in Liverpool.

Yes. It was a let's talk about shit story. Read the full thing. Everyone was like, oh my God. And then at the end, I'd totally forgotten. And it was like, see you on the sixth in Liverpool. And I was like, oh my God.

It looked like a set up. It did look like a set up and I couldn't believe you'd said it. And then she stood up. She stood up. The cameraman caught her. She was loving it. I cannot believe she stood up and the cameraman caught her she was cannot believe she stood up and let everyone see her face

after that story oh my god but yeah we're good such a good story right okay I've got some questions here dear Chris and Rosie I went to watch your tour

live in Nottingham arena very well done by the way hashtag sexy girl sexy girl there we go I thought I would share with you something that happened

that evening I was sat with my friend and had my arm around her twiddling her hair around my fingers we're close and have a very tactile relationship nothing more than friends as i'm gay but could easily be mistaken as a couple got you i'd love to have a gay best friend who just twiddled my hair on a night out isn't that nice nice? Isn't it really nice though? It's a very nice thing to yearn for and it's very nice. I just think it would be lovely just like I don't know

one can dream. You know what it is? One day soon I'll try and twiddle your hair and you'll go get off me hair what are you doing? Fuck you dude get off. Oh you're so straight. Oh god you're so needy. Sorry I would. I'd actually tell you off. Oh, you're so straight. Oh, God, you're so needy. Sorry, I was just... Yeah, I would.

Sorry. I'd actually tell you off. You would, yeah. Right. I'd been sat playing with her hair for a good five, ten minutes when she tugged her hair away from me with some aggression. I thought this strange and realised she had done so without actually moving. When I looked at her, it's then I realised

I'd been playing with the hair of the girl sat next to her instead. Oh my God. I was mortified. This poor girl has come for a nice night out with her fella and had some random creep of a guy sat with his arm reaching out playing with her hair. She probably thought I was some creep that gets kicks out of being with this girl and trying it on with other girls. Oh, my Lord. Can you imagine?

Oh. So imagine, this is the thing. Imagine if you sat there, like in the arena it was, and someone's just doing some blokes twiddling your hair. I'd be like, excuse me? Yeah, he's very lucky that you didn't say something. I know. He's just tugged it away.

Wow. Oh, that is mortifying. He said, I decided to not look or speak to the girl and die in my own embarrassment for the rest of the night. My hand stayed on my lap for the rest of the night. Good choice. Serves you right.

Love it. Just a bit weird. Stop twiddling people's hairs. It's weird. See, I mean, he can come and twiddle my hair anytime he likes. Brilliant. Slag.

Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah! Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind.

So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. This Friday. You must be very careful, Margaret. It's a girl. Witness the birth. My attention will start to happen. Evil things careful, Margaret. It's the girl. Witness the birth. Bad things will start to happen. Evil things. Of evil.

It's all. You know, don't. The First Omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil. Movie of the year. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. Who said that? The First Omen. The Impeders Friday.

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torontorock.com Hi Rosie and Chris and Robin and Rafe. I have a funny one night stand story which went wrong. Get in. A few years ago in brackets

I'm happily married with a baby now. I was at a friend's birthday who lived I feel like we should have put a congratulations in there. Sorry. Why?

It was like I'm happily married with a baby now and I was just like and. Congratulations well done. Congratulations well done. I was just feeling a little bit cold

just like and. Get to the fucking embarrassing bit you dick rest of the story please I was at a friend's birthday who lived quite far away from me

I'm from London and she lived in the countryside of Kent is that how far is that Kent pretty far it's just a lot of people

a lot of people live in Kent and then commute into London if they've got to like an hour they've got a few quid hour or so it's the sort of posh outside bit

I don't know yeah maybe an hour I don't know okay so quid. Hour or so? Yeah, it's the sort of posh outside bit. I don't know. Yeah, maybe an hour. I don't know. Okay. So I decided to make a weekend of it and stay overnight at her place, also getting the chance of meeting her new boyfriend and his friends for the first time.

We pulled an all-dayer drinking cider in the sun in a nice country pub beer garden and I got to know her boyfriend and his friends. It ended up being three girls and three guys and it was almost like it had been set up. The guy I got chatting to most was physically my type, but as soon as he started chatting, I realised we had absolutely zero in common.

He found London terrifying. He worked and lived on a farm, doing general farming, and had a little sideline inseminating horses. Eh? Sorry? Is that where you put the horse sperm into the... They do the old jizz of jizzing in the house. A sideline? How's that a sideline?

I don't know if it's his hobby. His hobby? Hobby? Yeah. I mean, I'm not, you know, a job's a job with a piece of bills, but as long as it's not his spunk I'm alright oh Jesus Christ Chris

anyway so he had a sideline inseminating horses which he really enjoyed describing to me in detail oh good god which as I got drunker I found funnier and funnier he loved my face of horror when he described graphically how he had to use the machine

to jerk off the male horses to collect the sample which he off the male horses to collect the sample, which he lovingly referred to as liquid gold, and how he would pull his gloves on and ways he would have to get the mares interested enough so they would take the load. Jeez Louise Louise. What the heck? The details

and gestic... gesticulations Go on, tick time. Tick time. Gesticulations. Gesticulations. Yep. Yep, yep, yep. Thank you very much. He much he was making the whole table red in the face but he seemed to genuinely enjoy his job and I find his passion attractive even it is for horses

women are lunatics that is my he's my type physically but we've got nothing in common right but he's passionate about something but he's so passionate about wanking off horses and then throwing the spunk up female horses that you find that attractive. What the...

Oh, my God! Because he's got interests. He's got interests. You know what I mean? What can you say? Just found his passion attractive. There's no hope. There's just no hope.

There's no hope in working out the female species. Honestly. Oh, never. We're very complex. Oh, for fuck's sake. He took the piss out of my posh London voice in my office job as a graphic designer and the banter became flirty and more ridiculous

as the night went on. Long story short, we ended up having quite a drunken sex on the floor of my friend's lounge. And it was weirdly good for a first time and what I thought would be a one-night stand. Cut to a couple of weeks later. What did he do with his spunk at the end? He probably took it out to his horse.

Yeah, took it out and put his glove on. Don't want to waste that liquid gold. Liquid gold. I'm about a liquid gold. Oh, Christ. Horrible. Cut to a couple of weeks later, we had been texting and flirting

and had arranged for him to come for a night out in London with me so I could show him how not scary it is. We went for dinner and back to mine and had even better sex that night in an actual bed. Wow. That's nice, isn't it?

When he had finished, he had a concerned look on his face. I asked what was wrong and he said he couldn't find the condom. Oh, here we go. I was quite obviously worried it had come off and I wasn't protected, but he said he actually couldn't find it at all. I then realised it could be stuck up me. I ran to my en suite and tried to get it out to no avail. I couldn't even feel it in there. Goodness me.

So we frantically threw the covers on the floor and searched harder. It was nowhere to be found. Grim. I had another quick poke around in the bathroom and could just feel it but couldn't get enough grip on it to pull it out. I was very upset by this point but as i

hadn't known the guy very long i was quite embarrassed to talk about it it was then i didn't mean to make a horse noise that was totally accidental is that you is that him at the door it was then that he knocked on the door and told me to come out he gave me a hug and calmed me down and said he'd help get it out. It was then that he uttered the words that I'll never forget as long as I live and the reason I could never see him again. So he said, Come on, it'll be okay.

I'd do this for a living. I knew it was going to be that. He was gentle. He found it immediately. He rubbed my nose and let me eat a carrot out of his hand. I never called him again. I've never been compared to a horse in such a way, but it made me very self-conscious, and that was that. I ended up using tweezers in the end,

which wasn't my finest hour, but I got the fucker out and that was that. I ended up using tweezers in the end which wasn't my finest hour but I got the fucker out and it was fine. I have since told many people my story of my country bumpkin and can rest easy that he wasn't the one for me in the end. What a shame. So she didn't even let him have a pop at it? No.

I mean, he would have been the best person. There's literally No one better Yeah Come on love Although to be fair The sizes will be different Do you know what I mean

He'd be used to A different size Oh he'd glove up And put his full fist in there Once he's up to his elbow Oh jeez Oh no No you don't want that

He's tickling Your tonsils from the back Oh jeez Oh sorry Sorry I made myself A little bit sick there Sorry

Sorry Babadoo babadoo babadoo Bah Hi Rosie and Chris Please keep me anonymous Always Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry. I made myself a little bit sick there. Sorry. Sorry. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Hi, Rosie and Chris. Please keep me anonymous. Always. I work for a council. It's a council that you are both very familiar with. Oh, goodness.

I can't say which one, but you used to live within its boundaries. South Downside Council. Something in South Downside Council. Yeah. That's that. Yeah. Hmm. For several years, the council has been subject to a troll who has created a fake Facebook

page claiming to be the council Brilliant They changed their picture to match what the council does and changed their description to match Fantastic The troll posts offensive yet hilarious posts out that would clearly never come from the council and have started

sending abuse to the other council over the river. Wow. Trolling North Shields. North Townside Council. North Townside Council, right? I wish I had that kind of time on my hands. You're not going to believe this, right? I am part of a team discussing how we sort out the issue

and there has been lots of speculation to who is behind the page. I must tell you now that you, Chris, are top of the list of suspects. Oh, that's really bad because I've just actually said I wish I had that kind of tie on my hands, which sounds like I was trying to distance myself from it. Oh, bugger. Chris, a lot of people at the council

fully believe it's you. Oh, come on, man. Do you know what my day rate is? I'm joking, aren't you? You couldn't afford me to do that. Oh bellend so is it and if it is could you please keep doing it because i literally love coming into work every day and reading the posts honestly i have the best job in the council holding a straight face in a meeting about it is very difficult they're fully blown they think it's you wow oh well no well i would never do that to no i wouldn't do that to the

council no i don't think you would you haven't got time but but i love that they're in a meeting they're like right this is this is a professional this is a professional hey fair play to whoever's done it because they think it's a professional comedian well apparently they post out quite funny things i'm not very funny on on the internet i'm not very funny in tweets and stuff i've only had a couple i've only had a couple in my time. Is this not because of the time when, I've spoken about it on the podcast, haven't I, when I went up, I was in a pub in South Shields

and all of the people from the leisure centre, from the council run leisure centre, went out on their night out. And I went up drunk and told them the pool was too cold. Yeah, I remember that. Did we mention that on here? I think we did, yeah. So I drunkly went up and I was like, are you on your staff right now? They're like, yeah. I was like, you need to turn the pool was too cold. Yeah, I remember that. Did we mention that on here? I think we did, yeah. So I drunkly went up

and I was like, oh, are you on your staff right now? They're like, yeah. I was like, you need to turn the pool up a couple of degrees. It's fucking freezing. And they're just like, right.

It was like, that was their version of like, oh, you're a comedian. Are you saying something funny? Like, I went over with like, comment box, comment box banter. Yeah, it might be from that.

They might think that it's be from that they might think that it's me from there might not have to agree all swimming pools are freezing all swimming pools fucking freezing but it's when you've got kids

especially oh god when they're really little we've got to do that with Rafe again you know when you just sit in different parts of the pool and you're like this is

I'm gonna die this is so cold yeah but the kids are running around so they're fine I remember pools being warm when I was a kid but you know it's because I was running around

yeah well you don't you don't have a temperature gauge Robin still in his flipping shorts yeah he won't wear will not wear pants for school and his school are like it's okay

and I'm like ahhh god he's like a techie yeah techies a young techie just will not put any trousers on I don't think he feels a cold

nah I don't think he does definitely not on his knees no no but yeah it's not me doing the fake cell town centre council thing

so he says annoyingly what you've done is you've just advertised it like fuck run here so a lot of people are going to look for it and it's going to get

a lot more traction so sorry and all that sorry we might have put your what's it your meeting what's the word man come on

come on what's it called when you try to stop something? Like... You know what I mean? Yeah, something like that. No.

We might have put your actions to waste. Jesus. It's lots of words. Just forget it. Listen, you know what would be really funny? I think we've fucked it up for the basically. You know what would be really funny? If a troll account started doing ads and stuff now.

If it gets loads of followers and starts doing ads. Yeah. Yeah. And then there'll be people following going, I used to like it when you just did the jokes. They do ads now. I don't follow anymore. doing ads and stuff now if it gets loads of followers and starts doing ads yeah and then people following going i used to like it when you just said the jokes they do ads now i don't follow anymore unfollowed i'm gonna follow the real council now hi chris and rosie big fan of the podcast and looking forward to seeing you in leeds for your tour i never thought i would have a story that would be weird and wonderful enough to make the podcast. However, a recent boyfriend has led me into a few situations that I felt changed this slightly.

I'd been seeing this guy for a few months. I'd met his family and everything was going really well. One night we were babysitting for his mum and sat in the living room with his dog. His dog started to pull at a cushion on the sofa and when it fell on the floor, proceeded to hump it. Great. They sometimes do that, don't they? I started to laugh as the child I am and continued watching telly. A few minutes

later, I noticed my boyfriend was concerned about the dog and on looking at the dog, noticed the dog's sticking out. Lipstick? Lipstick? You call it lipstick in the profesh? It is actually called

a lipstick, isn't it? I don't think so. It's probably just called a penis but I think the nickname is lipstick because it literally looks like lipstick and it's mangy.

It does. It does. My boyfriend picked up his phone and rang his mum asking the dog's dick has done that thing when it gets stuck.

What do I need to do again? Sorry. It won't go back in. I don't know. Well, I don't know. I don't know. Well, read on. Okay.

Now, I knew that clearly the dog was uncomfortable and needed assistance. However, I have never heard of butter being used... Sorry. ...to lubricate enough to push it back in. Oh, my word. We're not dog owners. We don't know this stuff. But what a phone call to get on a night out

when you've got the babysitters in. You're out having a night out. Oh, mum, what have I got to do? Butt on the dog's dick again, right? Cheers, bye, have a good night. Don't use me good, but... Use the unsalted but... But, Erin, it's...

Oh, come on. Take it to the vets. It might be something that happens all the on. Take it to the vets. It might be something that happens all the time. Take it to the vets. Well, my brother was younger. Sometimes his little testicles used to get a bit trapped on each other. I remember him. He used to do headstands quite a lot,

so they would just slip back in the face. Sorry, this is not... Your brother, who's going to be over the moon that you've told the whole world this, used to do headstands and his balls used to go back into his body and he had to then get his balls back out. Am I misremembering something here?

Have you made this up? No. I remember being on holidays and stuff and being in the house and Kev would be doing a handstand. My mum would be like holding him up and I remember it had something to do with his balls but I don't remember paying much attention.

It might have only happened once. I might be exaggerating. No, no, we're gonna delve deeper into this so we had to do a handstand to get the balls back out i think so what the fuck is going on here i don't remember so i know someone so i know so please don't ring him so i know someone that's not the answer to everything not the answer is not to ring one of your family members and what do you remember i don't he's not gonna I know someone, that's not the answer to everything. The answer is not to ring one of your family members. What do you remember? He's not going to want to talk about that. He was only little. He's not like now.

I don't think he has to do handstands now to get his balls back in place. Jesus Christ. He was just a kid. Great. I'm telling you,

as a man, I don't think he's going to want me to tell everyone that but if you want to ring him, I'm happy to ring him to be fair.

Shall I quickly ring him? Yes. And he might not even remember imagine he's standing with a client someone he's giving someone

a quote to plaster their room my Kate will remember more phone Kate then Jesus hello hi it's just me hello

hi yeah I'm good just dead quickly right we're just doing the podcast I've got a memory but I don't know if it's wrong or, it's just me. Hello, you all right? Yeah, I'm good. Just dead quickly, right? We're just doing the podcast. I've got a memory, but I don't know if it's wrong or if it's right. I've got a memory. Did sometimes, did Kevin, our Kevin, get like little sore balls when he was little and me mum used to make him do a handstand?

What? Where the hell? Is that not happening? Oh, there's Bea. It's alright. I don't think so. Where am I getting this from? You're psychotic.

You're psychotic. Why? I feel like... Not a handstand. I mean, he was always moaning on about having problems with balls. See? See? He has got bad balls.

He has got bad balls. He has got bad balls. He did have bad balls. I'm going to ring him. There was always something going on with his balls. There was always something going on with his balls. I don't remember him having to do a headstand. One more question. If Bay, your dog,

if his lipstick came out and it got stuck, would you use butter to put it back in? Fuck me. Does that happen? Is that a thing? It's just one of the questions. Would you do that as a dog owner? Yeah, well maybe put a glove on first.

Good answer. Very good answer. That's a good answer. What kind of butter would you use? Jesus Christ. Oh God, I don't know. Lert pack? Someone's got a few quid someone's doing alright looking on low pack

Jesus Christ on your dog's dick whatever's in the fridge I'll maybe some coconut oil oh right yeah that would be more sensible bloody hippie

yeah okay she's healthy it's worth okay I'm going to quickly ring her because I need to get the bottom of this right love you

okay then love you bye love you bye I'm sorry I have to know this might not even get in but I just need to quickly ring her because I need to get the bottom of this right love you love you bye love you bye I'm sorry I have to know this might not even get in but I just need to ring her this is honestly ringing your poor brother

to ask if you still have to do handstand I'm sorry but am I losing my mind a handstand sounds like it would exacerbate the problem a handstand sounds like it would make it much worse

I'm losing my mind why do I remember him being in a handstand this is your job this is your job. This is your job. Oh. Hi, Rosie.

Hiya, Kev. You all right? Yeah, yeah. I'm just ringing. Just dead quickly. I'm just busy doing the podcast, right? Do you know when you were little, did you get bad balls one time

and have to do a handstand? Bad balls? Uh-huh. Yeah, I thought it helps, doesn't it? Yes, I knew it! I knew it. I knew you did. How does a handstand help? I'm sure my mum tells us that.

Yep. I knew it. Kev, I knew it. I've seen you. I think it gets the blood circulating. Yep, yep, yep. I knew it. Kev, in my mind I was like, I have seen him, and you were only little. You must have been about five,

and you were doing a handstand. My mum had you held up, and it was for your balls. At the time, with the penis cream on it. Yeah, the penis... Oh, you had penis cream as well? Fuck me, this is incredible.

Come on, then, quickly... You're right. I'd spend to help circulate the blood more. Yep, yep, yep. What the hell? You might have bashed them or something. Right. Yeah. Why? When you got a twisted testicle, you meant to help circulate the blood more. Yep, yep, yep. What the hell? You might have bashed them or something. Right. Yeah.

Why? When you get a twisted testicle, you're meant to do it now, but I think you're in agony when you get that. I don't think you had that. Right, right, sorry. I'm just in the middle of plastering a fuck-off massive scene, all right,

so I'll let you crack my heart. No, no, no, no, you need to explain. You need to explain penis cream. No, he's got to go. He's literally in, it'll dry. You can't just say penis cream. You can't say penis cream. Do you want me to do?

No, Kev, I love you. No, no, no, explain penis cream. I can't say penis cream. Do you know what to do? No, Kev. I love you. No, no, no. Explain penis cream. I'll explain his penis cream. All right, great. Okay, she knows about the penis cream. Love you. I nearly got circumcised.

Tell him that. All right, I will, yeah. Great. This is on the podcast, by the way. Is that okay? This is all live on the podcast. I've got a woman. I'm not bothered.

I've got a woman. I've still got me foreskin, Rachel. Oh, good. Thanks for clearing that up, mate. Love you. Love you bye Bye Oh my god This podcast

Is The bottom of the barrel I knew it I knew it I knew I remembered that So if anything First of all

Fair play to Kev For just being like I used to do ball handstands I leave it in the podcast I'm not bothered Explain his penis cream I think he just had an infection one time And he had this cream He had some penis cream bothered explain his penis cream I think he just had an infection one time and he had this cream

and he had some penis cream he had some penis cream definitely cream not butter no not butter did you have butter on toast what the cream yeah no

so it definitely wasn't butter then no it wasn't butter it's just cream penis cream what a tangent that was the more the more things that your mum comes up with

the more I don't actually believe she was a nurse. Can I just say, though, the reason I think why we call it, like, why I remember, we don't call it a penis cream. It must have been Kev's Chucky Cream, right? Chucky's disgusting. When I had, because I get, like, I've got herpetic wicklows. You've got herpes. So I get, like, old school herpes.

Because I think my mum contracted it in the hospital so it's like it's from the chicken pox virus actually that's where it's from anyway I got the same cream

as him and we were like eee look I've got the same cream I think it was Fusadin brilliant so there you go it's a pointless end

in this story really isn't it I do not want to know what happens with this dog's butt or dick I feel like this has been ointment and penis heavy. It has. And I, honestly, I'm going to have to see your mum's CV

and possibly speak to someone, because I do not believe she was a nurse. I mean, it was in the 80s. Oh, yeah. Back in the 80s, when a handstand solved all ailments. Serving me, mum. Absolutely fucking not. What?

The most ridiculous sentence I've ever heard in my life is your brother going, I had to do handstands for me balls because me mum told us because she used to be a nurse. Just the fucking ward that your mum works on is just a fucking corridor of people doing handstands. Crikey. Your family are...

Honestly, there should be a sitcom made about your family. Penis cream and handstands. It only happened like once or twice. You remembered it! Because I think he did it for a really long time. He did it for a long time. Helps the...

What is going on? Babadoo babadoo babadoo hi both you were after excuses for not work for not going somewhere so here's a good one a few years ago my husband worked for a recruitment company every four weeks he had to do a weekend on call

he would often get silly excuses from people who could not go to work and for one reason or another but the one that stands out the most for me was a Sundayay morning at 5 a.m we had a phone call from a factory worker saying that unfortunately he couldn't go to work today because he had a dead arm a dead arm imagine just waking up with a dead arm. Imagine just waking up with a dead arm. I can't have gone to work.

I've never had this in my life. Hello, yeah, I can't come into work. Well, if you check the staff records, it's actually my birthday today. And my mates gave us the birthday punches on my arm. And my arm's gone dead. So I'm just going to go to the pub with the lads. Sorry.

It says, although my husband had just been rudely awakened, he very calmly advised him to try swinging his arm around to see if he could get the circulation back. Remarkably, it worked and he made a full recovery and was at work by 6am. Work by 6am?

If you'd done a handstand and you'd been there by half five. Funny, funny. Hi Chris and Rosie, hope you're well. Just listening to episode 140 and your tactic of avoiding popular TV shows led me to something we have decided on as a family and we have named it Broadchurched. Broadchurched? I mentioned to my daughter that we should watch Broadchurch together

as I loved it and she was enjoying a drama that we were watching together at the same time in Brackett, the beer. Right. However, I seem to have went on about it a bit too much as she, Brackett, stubborn like me, has decided that she will never watch it. Ah. So now Broadchurch has been Broadchurched.

Got you. Okay. Meaning she won't ever watch it. So now Broadchurch has been Broadchurched. Got you. Okay. Meaning she won't ever watch it. Yeah. This has grown legs in our house and has been mentioned in relation to many things. Recipes, snacks, life events. So many things have been Broadchurched.

Fantastic. I even asked her if she would watch it instead of giving me something for Christmas. But no, sadly, it's not going to happen. Wow, she's that desperate for her to watch it instead of giving her something for Christmas. That would be a present. She'd watch Broadchurch with that and she won't do it.

I've got to respect that stubbornness of it. Yeah. So I've got a couple of things. You know my things that I'm like that with. What? A Star is Born. Why won't you? It's a really good film.

There you go, and you've done it again. You've broad-churched it. I refuse to watch it, and I refuse to watch A Greatest Showman. Oh, you can. I was just thinking about that. Too many people have gone on about it. And I've heard the songs too much. I kind of bring myself to watching it.

I just can't do it. It's actually, to be honest, it's too good for you. Yeah, that's fine. I just can't. Good try. Didn't work. No.

Oh, did you think I was going to fall for that one, did you? Yeah, that's fine. I just can't. Good try. Didn't work. No. I can't, yeah. Oh, did you think I was going to fall for that one, did you? Yeah, I can't do it. I just can't. I don't know why I can't bring myself to watch it. The world is like a fantasy more than you could ever be because you're living with your eyes wide open. Yeah, like, why am I going to watch that?

Why am I going to watch Wolverine do that? He's not Wolverine. He is Wolverine. He's going to sing about with a top hat on and that. So you broad-churched it. What have I broad-churched? What do you mean? What have I broad-churched?

What won't I watch? Because I'm just like, oh, nah. There's none of you. You're very nosy. You will watch something straight away. You're like, why is everyone talking about this? You're straight on it. Nosy or open?

Nah, nosy or open nah nosy no nosy the wire you can't watch the wire even though even though Idris Elba's in it

it's not as good as what you think it is because I've watched three episodes and it's very dated and I'm just I can't

oh sorry sorry it was made in the past therefore it's bad no but you know what I mean things in the past are good to us because It was made in the past, therefore it's bad. No, but you know what I mean. Things in the past are good to us because we watched them in the past. Things in the past watching now

are utter shit. I don't know what you mean. I do know what you mean when someone says, you want to watch this really old film, it's amazing. You go, I can't go on board with that. I did it with Robin.

Do you remember I did it with Robin? Gummy Bears was on Netflix. I was like, Robin, oh, this was one of Mammy's favourite programme. I remember playing Gummy Bears at St. Bede's in the yard, right?

We brought in little letters with purple juice in that wrote on, man. It was full on a big deal at my primary school, right? Put it on for Robin,

he absolutely hated it. Gummy Bears? Do you mean Care Bears? No, I mean the Gummy Bears. The Gummy Bears was a separate thing. Yeah, yeah. I loved the Care Bears as well. Right. The Gummy Bays was a separate thing. Yeah, yeah. I love the K-Bays as well.

Right. The Gummy Bays. They used to drink purple juice and bounce around. Do you remember the Gummy Bays? Sounds like a cracking night out. I'm up for that, like. Purple juice and jumping about. Get me off of you.

Oh, you wouldn't enjoy it though because you'd miss the Banes. Oh, fuck off. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo babadoo babadoo bap do do do do do do as always thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of Shag Marinoid which is part of the

Acast Creator Network yes thank you very much and once again a big thank you to everyone who's been to the live shows so far they are so much fun there's still a few arenas left I think we've got six dates left

yep still some tickets available for them if you fancy it please keep writing in your wonderful things to shagmarinoid at gmail.com and we've got six dates left. Still some tickets available for them if you fancy it. Please keep writing in your wonderful things to shagmarionoid at gmail.com and we'll be back in your ears next week. You know what's going to happen when the tours are over? What? I'm going to really miss the tour.

Oh God. I'll miss the arenas. I wonder if the arenas know that I miss them. I wonder if the arenas are asking after us. Oh God. Say what I live with. Do of the arenas I'm asking after. Oh, God. See what I live with. Do you see what I live with?

Bye, everyone. Bye. Bye. You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Jimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece,

Symphony Exploder, April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit tso.ca. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th, when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game

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