Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 154. Stain of regret

Episode Date: February 11, 2022

There's a fair few food based topics up for discussion this week - from Hot Dogs to burnt Jacket Potatoes. Robin has suggested a new career for Chris & Rosie whilst Rafe is enjoying the joys of Cbeebies. Rosie's mysteries returns and Chris brings some fun facts. Enjoy! Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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at torontorock.com. Hello, you're listening to Shag Mountain Oid with me, Rosie Ramsey, and my other half, Christopher Ramsey. My other half. My other half. You are half of me, and I'm half of you. Do you know it's Valentine's Day next week? It's not a thing, man. Oh, yeah. It's not a real thing.

Oh, that is so sad. It's not a real thing. Am I getting announced? It's a corporate holiday invented by the people who sell cards and chocolates. Yeah. Eh? But it's nice for new couples, isn't it? No. No, it's sad.

No, it is. It is a nice thing for when you're a new couple do you know what i feel like you know when you know if you go out for a meal on valentine's day right and you're like you go out as your couple yeah and you go and sit in the restaurant and there's all the other couples in the restaurant and there's like and then you know the candles on the table and some pink balloons i just feel like i've been had i feel like i've been conned do you know i mean i feel like I'm sitting in there, that timeshare meeting on holiday that your mom and dad went to

because there was free champagne. Do you know what I mean? I feel like I'm sitting there with a fucking mug written on my forehead. You're like, I came out tonight as well because the calendar said I had to. In a pyramid scheme. Because this morning,

I got her a pillow with her name on it, Teddy holding it that said love. I got her that, and then I got her a card with her name on a teddy holding it that said love i got her that and then i got her a card with the naked babies on with wings and bone arrows and now here i am paying 50 more for the meal that it would have cost yesterday does it put the prices up for the dinners i imagine well i imagine this valentine's day deals on but i don't know i just think it's something you do when you're younger and you're in a new relationship and then I would like to think that we we're not we don't really celebrate it now because you're a miserable bastard but I've never done it in my defense I've never done it the whole

time we've been together you might have no I'm deliberately a bastard to you on Valentine's Day I mean I go the other way wow I go the other way you think I'm speaking to you or look you dare look me in the eye on Valentine's Day, there's going to be hell on, right? It's going to be like in the 90s when Prince or someone would turn up at the top of the pops and no one was allowed to look him in the eye. That's this house on Valentine's Day.

Don't you dare. You crack a smile at me. Grace, that's me present. Thank you. Your goodness, I'm kind of weird now. Kind of weird. No, but I'd like to think I am going to get me bike

a lovely new some oil for the chain of course you are of course you are a little new seat she's a slag she's a slag anyway give her a little wash

I'd like to think when we get older though and when we're not as absolutely drowning with children we'll celebrate it again nah I'll never celebrate Valentine's Day

I'll never celebrate it well listen I'll celebrate it with my next husband. Right, well, good. Not that I'm getting married again. My next long-term partner. Sounds like a fucking mug.

Yeah. He sounds like a mug. No, he loves it. He'll buy us a plastic rose. Careful when you send him to the shop for some milk. He'll come back with three magic beans, the mug. Honestly, sounds like he was fucking born yesterday. Listen.

Happy Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's Day, everyone. You bunch of fucking... You're being duped. You've all been duped. They're all cheating on them anyway. Wow. Guys, it is episode 154.

Thank you so much for tuning in wherever you are. And without further ado, it's time for this week's lucrative, lucrative sponsor. This week's sponsor is... And I don't know if I've done it before because I can't remember because everything's fucking melding into one. But here it is. This week's sponsor is and i don't know if i've done it before because i can't remember because everything's fucking melding into one but here it is this week's sponsor is cooking and preparing a healthy meal at 6 p.m and then putting pizza and chips in the oven by nine o'clock yes oh my god

the reason to my negative weight loss we just do it so much We literally go and have a salad. Look at it. Salmon, steamed salmon, broccoli, raw carrot, some pulses and grains on a plate. Small portions, healthy, six o'clock, excellent by nine. I'm like, get that margarita and those fucking chips in now. And that full, full tub of mayonnaise. All of that mayonnaise. Yeah, man. Sick of it. We did it last night. I of that mayonnaise. Yeah, man. Sick of it. We did it last night. I know. It's you, man. It's you.

I was like, literally, put that pizza in now. I'm not having this at all. I can't stop eating at the minute. I can't. I just I can't stop. No, but I go on this, like, what? You're not eating right now. Well, alright then. Oh, thank you. I'll have an hour off.

No, Chris, I can't. Honestly, i'm not even joking can it stop i am mrs snack mrs just mrs snack yeah i just can't if i i need one of them cameras on us right like the secret eaters i need that yet i love that show so much it was our favorite show no because I need that camera to follow me around and I'll be like, I just don't know why I'm not losing weight. And they'll go, well, do you know them nine breadsticks you had before your tea?

Yeah. Or them, you know, handfuls of nuts and them fucking fruit pastels you had before your tea the other day? Yeah, yeah. And I'll go, oh.

Yeah. And do you know that inch of butter you have on your toast every morning Mrs Ramsey that's not great that like I measure my butter

in inches I measure my butter in inches and feet I just oh I can't stop and I need to but oh and then

I mean you are one step away and I love you and I think you're beautiful but I know you're hard on yourself but you are one step away from being one of them people who blacks out

and goes to KFC and can't remember going to kfc yeah yeah yeah i'm not i mean come on i can taste chicken but i can't remember having it yeah you were in there for an hour flossing me teeth on a night going that's that's spare ribs that when did when did i have spare ribs but you cook you eat while you're cooking you're like that we saw that one in secret eaters once you eat while you're cooking so you're cooking a meal and you're just like having handfuls of stuff while it's going. I'll have three slices of ham while I'm making a meal. I will, Chris. But the thing is, listener, dear listener, ham won't be in that meal.

No, no, no. Ham will just be on the bench as Rosie's while I'm making a meal snack. I'm making a shepherd's pie, eating gherkins and ham and breadsticks. Maybe a brioche. I've got a problem. eating gherkins and ham and breadsticks maybe a brioche I've got a problem but

listen I go on that peloton and I do a solid 20 minute walk yeah yeah very very slow and steady I can barely hear it's on barely hear it's on do you know what it is at the minute I know I sound like I'm being hard on myself

I'm not because I just think we're in the thick of it now with Rafe being one yeah yeah and I can see I remember when Robin when Robin got to about two or three

you just feel a bit more well they start sleeping through a bit better yeah and you've just got more time you know at the minute I'm just like I'm so tired

but I always joke along with you and I say things like the peloton's all slow and that but you know I'm joking you're beautiful stop being so hard on yourself thank you alright I know things like the peloton's all slow and that but you know I'm joking you're beautiful stop being so hard on yourself

thank you alright I know put that chicken leg down let's crack on I'd die for a chicken leg for fuck's sake I swear to god

honestly I'd die for a chicken I'd die for a chicken leg oh my god oh play a jingle goodness me

we had a fight about the jingle jingle we couldn't settle on a jingle. Goodness me. We had a fight about the jingle. Jingle. We couldn't settle on a jingle. Jingle. Jingle. So this is the jingle. Jingle.

We hope you like the jingle. Jingle. Babadoo babadoo babadoo ba. Jingle. Hello and welcome back to this week episode I guess I would Pepe Nana I'll be watching

Oh god, sorry I came in this morning I was in a separate bed with Robin We're still bed hopping It's absolutely nuts But I came in, Robin woke up at like 6 o'clock And I was devastated Because I'm back on devastated because I'm on like

I'm back on tour so I'm on like tour timetable so I can't get to sleep until late it's a right pain in the arse and anyway I came in

our bedroom to come and get Robin's glasses so I was like we'll slow them two are still asleep Rafe and Rosie are still asleep

so I'll get I came in and like the room's silent and I can just hear like and I looked and fucking Moon Baby was on the screen. Moon Baby creeps me the fuck out. Listen, I love CBeebies.

We've done bedtime stories. CBeebies, I don't, sometimes I don't even go on iPlayer and just pick a show. I just want CBeebies on live on the iPlayer. I genuinely think CBeebies is one of the greatest gifts to parents ever. Absolutely.

But holy shit, Moon Baby is one of the most terrifying characters ever created in the world. Just honestly, did you ever see that? Have you ever seen the advert

where someone took, they took Mrs. Doubtfire and they re-edited it like a horror and they changed the music and they changed the song. I have seen that.

It's very clever. I could fucking do it with Moon Baby. Right. And I've got no editing skills whatsoever. But I could that it's very clever I could fucking do it with Moonbeam right and now I've got no editing skills whatsoever but I could

it's the peppy nana that's terrifying Mr Onion I don't know what he's doing Collywobble they're all fucking terrifying

it's the same lady she does all the voices for them all right I'm not bothered about the voices the voices are alright it's just Moonbeam

they're massive fucking eyes and he's in like a hoodie he's like a goth but he's like white. Oh God. His fucking head lights up. And he's got that thing

that plays the music. Is it a real instrument? He just presses little buttons on a thing. I don't know. But honestly, just think of a horror film where they're walking around

like a house and just imagine him just standing in the middle of the corridor just staying. Oh my God. You see, me, Robin and my mum do the voice of the little just staying oh my god me robin and my

mom do the voice of the little kid yeah yeah and i don't know whether it's about but you know the little kid shuts the doors but it's such a cute little kid but they shut the door and they're like good night baby nana here in the morning yeah it's terrifying yeah if you know i don't know if it's like i don't know if it's the kid talking i don't know what it is but if you heard that whispered around your house yeah if you're in the house on your own and you just heard night night, happy nana, see you in the morning you'd be like, ah, burn the house down honestly

but, I mean, Rafe loves it he loves it, he loves in the night garden he actually points at the telly with the remote and goes and then he gets your hand and he does a little circle in your hand he's like a dog. He's actually quite clever however, Raph.

So the headline there is we've got him addicted to telly just at one. So that's happening. Oh, who was it who said to me the other day about monitoring the telly

when they're little? Oh, shut up, man. And I was like, I mean, good luck with that because that's, it's a nice thought

but if you want to, if you want to live in a half decent house and have plates to eat off. You mean a nice thought, but if you want to live in a half-decent house and have plates to eat off... You mean a tidy house, yeah. Yeah, like a half-decent tidy house and have clean plates to eat off and not have a mental breakdown...

You've got to stick them in front of the telly. Good luck not having a telly. Sorry and all that. Because the thing is, you think, and people might say, well, there wasn't tellies in my day. Yes, but you got respite when you left your child outside in a pram, outside the shops.

Because, yeah, yeah. Outside the shops. The dead people used to leave babies sat in the pram, not strapped in, outside the shops. Yeah. So you got to wander around the shops quite nicely by yourself, didn't you? Eh? Peggy?

Peggy. So don't be jipping me. Babadoo, babadoo me babadoo babadoo babadoo bah well speaking about food in the intro there I learned something this week

yes you do you know right oh a fact a fact a proper fact let's just strap myself in

although I don't quite know where it's from because I was half cut when someone told us at the weekend great back on to it I did Hackney Empire

and someone I work with said that they were at some kind of thing either a conference or on a zoom or at an event it was something like that and i can't remember what it was brilliant but someone high up from dominoes was there right the pizza place yes and he kept see he kept using the phrase stain of regret. And he said, we've almost completely abolished the stain of regret. What's the stain of regret? So the guy explained it to us. Tomato sauce.

The stain of regret is when you take a slice of pizza off the box, the stain that's left on the box. The grease. The grease that's left on the box of the pizza. They're on like a mission to get rid of it. Oh. So much so that they've named it. And that stain on your pizza box after you finish your pizza is called the stain of regret and i never knew i

quite like it though sorry is it i don't know you like a big massive greasy mark on your pizza after you've eaten a pizza it's never really bothered us but you've never polished off a full pizza on your own have you no right well that's so i've never fully experienced as someone who regularly polishes off a full pizza and then if you look down at the box and that box is like a fucking mirror if you can do your hair in that box yes but if they get rid of that they're going to get rid of the greasiness in the pizza which will probably make it taste less nice less nice but you know yeah less appetizing well it might not you're not having it i not. You're not having it. I'm sorry.

You're not having a pizza after a run, are you? You're not going, oh, I think today I'll have a pizza. Yeah, you've earned it. You can have it after you've run. No, you're getting it as a treat. Oh, yeah. You don't think it's good for you. I know what you mean.

But, yeah. So, who cares if it's got a stain? Listen, why are you shitting all over me fact? I'm not. I think it's a really good fact. I thought stain or regret. I think it's a nice little collection of words. Look, I'll try hard on it.

Christ. Listen, I'm sick of stains, me. These kids. These bloody kids. Oh, there's stains on everything. There's constantly a full dish of vanished water in that utility room. Constantly.

To the point where most of the stuff, I'm like, I don't know why. I'm not even going to bother. Yeah. I feel like babies should be in disposable clothes. Yeah. But that's terrible for the planet. But then it goes back...

No, I mean, yeah, we can't do that. But it goes back to when... I'm sure we've talked about when people buy expensive clothes for the kids, for the babies. Oh, yeah. And you go, are you on crap? Oh, when someone... Yeah, when I say support someone's baby and they're in like a Hugo Boss t-shirt, I'm like, are you...

Money to burn! Money to burn! Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're going to shite all up the back of that. Yeah. Ish. Yeah'm like, are you fucking, money to burn! Money to burn! Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're going to shite all up the back of that. Yeah. Ish. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mental. Pugo Boss. Thank you. Oh, hey. Good luck to you. That's why you're in the big box. I want to do one. Come on.

Oh, Runs Lorraine. No. What's that? Ralph Lauren. Oh. No. Oh, that's bad.

All right, okay. Oh. No. Oh, that's bad. All right, okay. Oh. Sorry. I haven't got any more. I haven't got another one. No. I'm thinking Burb. Oh, hang on.

Burb Smelly. Oh. No. Oh. I don't know. This is good. This is a good episode. I'm trying to think of something.

This is good listening. Hang on a minute. Mark Chino. What's that? Mark Chino. No. Like Mark, like a pair of Mark Chino. What's that? Mark Chino. No. Like a pair of marks? No, that's terrible.

No. Dreadful. No. Come on, there's more. Come on. What else is there? The problem is we don't wear designer brands. I'm like, what?

Is there something to be done with Gucci? Oh, Pucci. Pucci. Pucci. Pucci. Pucci. Pucci. Pucci.

Ah. Side note. Yes, we did see Idris Elba with his fly open on the bridge. Oh, yeah. And that's all we're saying about it. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Oh, 365 reasons to look on the bright side of life. Da-da. We fucking need them now.

Yeah? Yes. Come on, then. Kilt clipped. Kilt clipped. Kilt clipped. Before... So this is, sorry, so as we record today,

it is the 9th of February. 9th of February. Yeah. 2022. So we'll do the 9th and then we'll do... Oh, do you want to do the 1 as well? Fridays?

10, 9, 10. Why can't I work out what's two days from now? Because you are... 11th. I said 12th. Do the 9th and do the 11th, right? Before the day in 1727

Highlanders bombed around wrapped in a giant blanket the giant kilt I know the one you mean the one that goes around

and then over the shoulder yes like what our Jamie wears looks very comfy but when clansmen began to work with machines the kilts voluminous

vol voluminous Jesus vol why can't you read? I don't know. You actually asked me if I was alright yesterday, didn't you? Yeah, you kept repeating stuff to us.

I was like, oh, you're losing your mind. You keep repeating things. I think I am. Yeah. The Voluminous... What? How do you say it? Give me that book now.

I swear. Give us the book. What is this, man? Volumuous? Is that the word? You? Is that the word? You, you. Is that the word? Honestly, horrible man.

You horrible, manscaping, son of a bitch. Sorry, stop, stop, stop, stop. In a massive twist of irony, I now have to mansplain to you that you said manscaping, not mansplaining. Manscaping is shaving your pubes. What did I say? you said manscaping, not mansplaining. Manscaping is shaving your pubes. What did I say? You said manscaping.

Just now. So in the most ridiculous twist of irony, I have now just, I've had to explain to you that you didn't say mansplaining. You said manscaping. You, oh my God, I hate you for making me do that.

I'm not alright. That was like a fucking, I'm not alright. That was like a fucking... I'm not alright. That was like a trap. That was like... Do I now mansplain to her that she didn't say the right word for mansplain? This is...

I feel like I'm going to pass out. This is horrible. You said manscaping. Manscaping is shaving your pubes. I hate that. I hate when you're trying to make a point and you say the wrong thing. Oh, yeah. Well, I thought you'd be fucking used to hate that. I hate when you're trying to make a point and you say the wrong thing. Oh, yeah.

Well, I thought you'd be fucking used to it and by now you're used to this twat. Spell this and let's see what Google says. I know the words. Yeah, but I want to know how you say it. V-O-L-U-M-I-N-O-U-S. Voluminous. Let's see.

Listen, everyone shut up. Right. You ready? Yeah. Voluminous. I said that. Did you? I think I said up. Right. You ready? Yeah. Voluminous. I said that. Did you? I think I said close to it.

I don't know. What a stupid book. Stupid book writing stupid words. No, I know that word. Voluminous. Voluminous. In our defence, it's not a word we say very often. Voluminous.

Well, it sounds like it's big and luminous. It feels like it's big and it closes the talk. Voluminous. Do you like my new voluminous jacket? Yeah, it's big and luminous it feels like it's big and it glows in the dark voluminous do you like my new voluminous jacket yeah I work on the roads at night it's big and

it glows in the dark anyway so they've got these kilts manscaping I'm sorry you called her a manscaper

I know Jesus I can't honestly I can't and I said it in a really good tone I thought it was going to hit really hard

so their kilts are too fucking big their kilts are too big in 1727 it's really shod their kilts are too big but they could easily catch in the gears

or get burnt in the machines it was a death trap so industrialist Tom Rawlinson got a tailor to take his scissors to the traditional

tartan gob creating a smaller kilt his scissors to the traditional tartan garb, creating a smaller kilt, which only covered the body from the waist down. This might have ended centuries of tradition, but without it, today's lucrative kilt industry would probably not exist. Wow. So hurrah, hurrah! Hold on. So are we looking at multiple factual inaccuracies in Scottish films and TV shows

that are set before the Industrial Revolution here? Because does that mean that the little one around the waist that's just neat like a little skirt

didn't come about until after 1727? I mean, is that what the Industrial Revolution is? Yes.

The Industrial Revolution. I don't know. Industrious. Industrial. That's just when everyone started doing stuff. No, all I'm saying is if they're not

all wearing the big over the shoulder gears and sort of outlander in that yeah no they are though

they do yeah but if I'm gonna do you know what I'm gonna do do you know what I'm gonna

do I'm gonna re-watch outlander now and anywhere they're not before that date

there's gonna be some strongly worded emails 1777 1777 they're in America

so right and what date's that 1727 so it fits it ties they're not totally ties they're very good so right and what date's that 1727 so it fits it ties they're not

oh totally ties yeah he's Annie they're very good yeah right do you want one more I apologise to everyone what date's the Friday one 11th

the 11th of February 11th of February not very interesting day is it what just I find January and February utterly shit oh yeah they are the Monday and Tuesday

of the year the worst aren't they yeah the worst have you noticed I've stopped swearing by the way why have you stopped swearing me mum really,

honestly, had a couple of glasses of wine the other night and she, fully blown, was like, no, Rosie, you swear too much on that podcast.

Nothing, no. Guys, I got told off off my mum. Right. I got wrong off my mum. Right.

Massively. Dish, right. Okay. When I called her a C-U-N-T, she said she gasped. And I said... On the podcast? Yeah. Well, yeah, okay, so I called her a C-U-N-T, she said she gasped. And I said... On the podcast? Yeah.

Well, yeah, okay, so yeah, you can swear, but yeah, maybe don't call your mum the C-word. Well... As a rule of thumb. Deserves it, for one. Brilliant. Two, she is. So, we also watched a very good programme the other night.

The Benidorm Hotel. Fantastic. Loved it. Yeah. To the point where we might go for my mum's birthday. Brilliant. Genuinely. That's good. Cool. Loved it. Yeah. To the point where we might go for my mum's birthday. Brilliant. Genuinely. That's good.

Cool. I'm busy. Yes. I'm busy. I thought you might be. I'm busy. Okay, here we go. I can't have the kids either.

I'm that kind of busy. I'm working on something. Something that has a crossover of me not being able to have the kids but me also not being able to go there. Right. I'll tell you what it is when I've thought of it.

Right. So the title you what it is when I've thought of it. Right. So the title is Come on, Necho. I haven't read this one. Come on, Necho. Light my fire. Come on, Necho. Light my fire.

Okay. Don't know what it means. Usually an out-of-control campfire just carbonises your baked... Oh, it's about baked potatoes. Oh, right. Wow. My two-and-a-minds-of-reasons

are going to love this. A baked potato. Right. An out-of-control campfire just carbonises your baked potato. So spare a thought for Hunter Netsho Allen back in 1790. It's very 1700s heavy.

This is when I think I was alive, yeah. Yeah, and who wrote this book, showing off? Carbonisers? You mean burns? Yeah. Fuck me. Camped under a ledge in Pennsylvania,

he walked to discover his campfire had ignited the mountain. Oh. The mountain? The mountain. Ignited the mountain? Yes. The rocks themselves were ablaze. Sorry.

What's he used? Fucking plutonium? I don't know. Pretty scary for him, but great news for chilly Americans. Alan had just discovered a massive deposit of anthracite, a very pure form of coal. Right, okay. Yeah.

That makes sense. Today in 1808, this was first successfully burned as a residential heating fuel by Judge Jesse Fell. So he burnt his jack of potato during the night and it set fire to the rocks and thus found the coal no sorry read that again i don't think the jacket potato has anything to do with that usually an out of control campfire just carbonate eyes just put that in just saying usually if you leave your campfire a little just burn your jacket potato oh but this man left his campfire on and founded coal well that's quite good. Listen, these are interesting.

Okay, I was just thrown off by the jack-o'-potato bit. I found it very unnecessary. It actually... To follow in the footsteps of the person, Dave Thesaurus, who uses carbonise when he shouldn't, I found the baked potato fact superfluous. Yes. It's made me a little bit hungry as well.

So like I mentioned before, I am back on tour. superfluous yes so it's made me get your tittle around that a little bit hungry as well yeah babadoo babadoo babadoo bah so like I mentioned before I am back on tour yes you are and I just want to do a little quick shout out a nah no

you're not using you're not using this platform to flog your other shite right okay you can get lost absolutely not should I be on Instagram doing it like you

yes selling me soul yes sad listen right a big shout out to the crowds who i've been with so far uh who have been with all of you were so special to me excuse me and uh i

will text you in the future um use protection so weird to say i've been with i don't know why everyone who's been to say so far uh hackney bays and stoke uh i did uh dart fad and bournemouth last week they were absolutely phenomenal um listen literally nearly all of the gigs are sold out. So I'm just going to shout out the ones that have tickets left for the next couple of months. Oh, yawn. Shut up, you. Stockport, Aberdeen, Leicester, Manchester,

just the first date. Poole, Blackburn, Glasgow. That is it. There are no other tickets to see me. The Scottish one's not too full. Well, Aberdeen, weirdly, is one of them venues where there's loads of seats available in the middle of the stalls, but they've got that little, on the seat map,

they've got that little thing on where you hover over it and it says, maybe restricted view. It's not a restricted view. It would be a restricted view if it was a music gig because that would be right behind the sound desk. But my sound desk is on stage in the wings. So snap those fuckers up, Aberdeen, because I'll see you soon. And yeah, it's going to be the last time that I tour for a little while um so yeah well for quite a while so get on it

I'm genuinely jealous of you being back on tour because I miss our tour I don't know if I miss being on stage with you or the Nando's that I had in the dressing room before I went on stage it was actually crazy every night every day we had a 20 minute discussion of what we should eat and then it always just fell down to but I want a Nando's and we just got a Nando's chicken and chips

make me lick my lips we're having chicken and chips for tea tonight actually I told Robin when he was leaving the house this morning right we're having chicken and chips

for tea right just he didn't reply good well I look forward to a fucking meltdown where he's decided that he wants something else

yeah excellent always cheese and pasta great night great night babadoo babadoo babadoo, babadoo, bah. It's time for What's Your Beef?

What is your beef? Beef, beef, beef, beef, beef. Ladies first or gents first? Listen, I'll go first. Oh, wow. So, we are getting a couple of things done around the house.

We're getting some painting done. Yeah. I've got some new wardrobes there getting painted today and all that kind of jazz, right? Because the posh ones are dead nice. You, Christopher Ramsey, whenever we have blokes around doing stuff,

not trying to be sexist, it just always seems to be blokes. Yeah. You go for a wee, leave the bathroom door open like you're on some sort of stag do. Right. And I think it's awful for the lads

who are coming to do the work because they don't want to hear you having a piss. I am exerting my masculinity in the house. Right. And I think it's awful for the lads who are coming to do the work because they don't want to hear you having a piss. I am exerting my masculinity in the house. Ew. And the louder and

more vicious they hear the stream of urine hitting the water, the more they know that I'm the man of the house. That's a real, do you know you're

joking? But there will be some men do that. I'm not joking. Yeah. I'm very, men who can do things with their hands and paint things and come around do that. I'm not joking. Yeah, you are. Men who can do things with their hands and paint things and come around the house, I'm very intimidated by

because I don't have a real job. I stand on stage and fuck about when I sit in here and argue with my wife. It's not a real job. It's barely in existence. So the primal animalistic side of me needs to exert my masculinity. Are you taking a piss?

Yeah, of course I am. You sound like you're being really serious. It's awful. If I was, I would just go piss on them. If I wanted to exert my masculinity, I would go and just wee on them. Just all over their back and that. Some people, some,

no, blokes have done that though. We've talked about it before. Weed on people's backs? No, not ween, but like, who was it, man? Bloody Maxwell. Gilead Maxwell's dad. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, he used to shit with the door open when people came for meetings yeah well that's the joke I was getting at yeah okay yes I remember

I did it this morning and you ran and slammed the bathroom door and shouted the paint as I hear and slammed the door in all honesty I forgot they were there

I'm really sorry but you know what sometimes I like weeing with the door open because sometimes I feel lonely when I shut the door on my own

I like to ween with the door open I suppose though actually lonely when I shut the door and I weigh on my own I like to weigh with the door open I suppose though actually if you were any urinal yours would weigh together yeah but then there's also something do you ever do this right I do this sometimes

so if I leave the sitting room door open and then I walk down the little corridor and then I leave like the toilet door open and if I'm weighing and the toilet door and the sitting room door open

technically I'm weighing in the sitting room because I'm because the door I'm in there I'm waiting in the sitting room because I'm in there. I'm waiting in there. It's good, isn't it? Awful.

Oh, man. What? We have to teach another person to piss in the toilet soon. Oh, God. Oh, for God's sake. I found... Another milestone

I can't wait for. I was cleaning the garage out the other day and I found something I'd completely forgot about. What? It was Robin's travel potty. Oh, the green one.

The green travel potty. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where you've got to basically carry it around like a laptop bag. Just for his cheeky little car boot shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So we were like sitting there.

I think we used to sit him in the car boot and he used to use it or he'd go away or whatever. But yeah. He's only, to be fair, Robin has only just stopped weighing on the tyres of the or whatever, but yeah. He's only, to be fair, Robin has only just stopped weeing on the tyres of the car. Yeah.

Only the last year. He doesn't do that much anymore, yeah, yeah. He used to love it. He used to love weeing on the wheel of the car. Well, he just, he couldn't hold his weeing. Yeah. Ever.

I think he can now. He can now, he's got it a little bit bigger. He once weed on the wheels of my car after I'd just been to the car wash. I was furious. Yeah. Absolutely furious Whilst we're talking about Robin

Just really quickly Should we let everyone know What Robin wants us to do As jobs Oh he said this last night Didn't he Yes Yeah

He wants us to be YouTubers Yeah So he can be a YouTuber as well And he wants to be a YouTuber So he's watching Ryan again And he wants me and you to be You know Ryan's mum and dad

Magooing about Like Ryan's mum and dad If you think That I'm playing with you for six hours of the day, you can do one. Then watching it back and editing it. Forget it, son.

Forget it. Yeah. No chance. Just, no. My beef with you this week is, you are currently Rafe's favourite. Yes.

And you pretend not to but you absolutely fucking love it. Listen. It's pathetic. Why? It's genuinely pathetic how much you love it. Like if he's with me and he sees you and he's like, oh no, he wants me. Oh swoon, oh woe

is me. Pathetic. You love it and it's sad. It's sad how much you love it and it's sad it's sad how much you love it literally I came back from work yesterday I came back from

being on tour and I had him and I think he hurt himself or something and he was crying in my arms he was leaning for you and you actually

took him out of my arms and you actually said the words I know son stranger danger stranger danger fucking dad you dick

what the hell stranger danger it was a joke because he'd been away oh no no get it I got it danger. My fucking dad, you dick. What the hell? Stranger danger. It was a joke because he'd been away. Oh no,

no, I get it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got the joke. Very good.

I get in man. It was a joke. Don't because I'm riddled with guilt because I'm

adamant he's got separation anxiety because I just worked too much last year. Poor Ben. Every time he went to see me mum, I didn't come back for three days. Poor kid. I feel terrible.

I think that's why he's so clingy. But I'm just breathing it all in at the minute. Taking it all in. Because he's just delicious. He's lush, isn't he? He's got his new little first shoes. New little first shoes. New little first haircut.

Little dude. Little dude. All right. But you new little first haircut. Oh, he's so cute. Little dude. Little dude. All right. But you're putting us off. I'm still angry at you. Don't talk about how lush he is. I'm still angry at you. Fair enough.

Pathetic. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah! Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care.

From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at

sunrisechallenge.ca. That at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. This Friday. You must be very careful, Margaret. It's a girl. Witness the birth. Bad things will start to happen. Evil things.

Of evil. It's all. You know, don't. The first omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil. Movie believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying. 6-6-6 is the mark of the devil.

Movie of the year. What's the real story? The first Omen. The Impeders Friday. Get tickets now. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks

at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com. It's time for questions from the public. Questions from the public.

Public. Public. Guys, as always, if you want to get in touch, shagmoudinoid at gmail.com. We have had so many people messaging about getting the snip. Oh, for fuck's sake. No, honestly, so many people. Right.

I'm not going gonna read out any horror story hurry horror stories but there oh but there is some of course there is there's always horror stories but most of them are do it it's absolutely fine doesn't even hurt all that kind of stuff all by women no no no no no no promise you swear down blokes as well a lot of blokes as well yeah do you want to hear some good stuff or not some testimon

some reviews what are the TripAdvisor reviews well no I'll not actually because it's a bit long clean scalpel lovely staff prompt

great holes great holes no it's just someone said it's not too bad right so hi Rosie and Chris I've been listening

to episode 153 and Chris's reluctance to get the snip and it reminded me of my husband. We went to the NHS. I gave permission for him to get snipped. I gave permission? You may. It's not your fucking dog, love, but okay.

The surgery was booked for the following week. On the day, my husband rocked up ready for the day surgery. However, when the surgeon checked him prior to op, they realised that his balls are too big for the local anaesthetic. Legend! Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi. Awful. Legend.

His balls are too big for the local anaesthetic to have any effect. That'll be mine. That'll be my problem. You haven't got big balls. Mate, you're joking, aren't you? What? Yeah. No, you haven't. No, I haven't, no. You haven't? I know I Mate, you're joking, aren't you? What? Yeah. No, you haven't.

No, I haven't, no. You haven't? I know I haven't, I'm joking. It's saggy. Wow. Men, you do have saggy balls, though. Wow, this is horrible. What?

Do not review my testicles on our podcast. Sorry. What do you think this is? Listen, three out of five. Wouldn't put them in my mouth again. Some funny bits. Bit of gristle oh for god's sake warmed a cup guys she did it with her hand she held her hand out in front of us like a cup hashtag no asterix have worked twice oh have worked twice. Oh, have worked twice.

Yeah. So his balls are too big. They decided he would need to be knocked out completely so they could do it. Oh, Steve, bring a hammer. This bloke's knackers are so fucking massive, we're going to knock the cunt out. But this was before they paraded nurses and students

in to show them his big balls. And to explain why he was going to be on there. Honestly, I'll whip them out and the room goes dark. They are just the biggest balls ever. How big? For the local anaesthetic to not work? This man must have... Did he bounce in on his balls like a space hopper?

I mean, they must be ginormous. I bet he was buzzing. I bet he was lying. They were going, come on in, students. Come on in, have a look at these big swinging knackers. Oh, fantastic. There'll be a documentary about him somewhere. Yeah, probably.

Have you ever watched that documentary about the bloke who's got the massive penis? Oh, he injects the things. Oh, no, sorry. No, no, the naturally massive one. I know his injects the things. Oh, no, sorry. No, no, the natural, the naturally massive one. What's his car? I know his name. Jonah Falcon. Wow.

Yeah, yeah. Is that his name? I've seen it, yeah, yeah. Not the penis, the documentary. Well, I've seen the penis in his pants. He's an American guy, isn't he? I think so.

Yeah, and he wears really tight pants and you can see the outline and it's really disturbing. But it's good. It's like long, fat, all of the things. It's like chubby and chody and that. It's like, yeah.

Massive. I'm sure that's his name. But I actually don't... I don't want to get his name wrong. I know, but I don't want to say it. I feel a bit bad because I don't think he likes it. I don't think it's like a good thing. It's massive.

No, yeah, that's him. Yeah, John Falken. American actor and television presenter. Actor? Is that pornography? No, I don't think he's done all... No, I think he does do porn. No. But yeah he does do porn.

But yeah, he... Yeah, I think it's been a hindrance to him. Yeah, bless him. I do remember watching it. Although every photo on Google here is him in extremely tight trousers. Let me see. Let me remind myself. Oh, yeah, that's it.

Oh, yeah, actually, it's not as big as I... You're joking, aren't you? No, don't get me wrong. It's massive, but I had... You know when you go to X-Streams, in my brain, he had a massive salami stuck down his pants,

but that's big. About 13 inches, isn't it? It was something ridiculous like that. Wow. Yeah, it's gone now. He stopped trying to look. But yeah, really strange. But I think the documentary about him

is actually quite sad. I know. I don't think he's... He doesn't really like it, I don't think. Well, no, I think he just started... Yeah, I think everyone just had a... Everyone just wanted a shot of it, I think the documentary about him is actually quite sad. I know. I don't think he's, he doesn't really like it, I don't think. Well, no, I think he just started, yeah,

I think everyone just had, everyone just wanted a shot of it, I think. He was in like the New York club scene in the 90s and everyone just wanted a shot.

Yeah. It felt like a literal bit of meat. Oh, bless him. Go on, Jonah. He's an actor on a TV and he's doing well. Well, there you go. I actually do think

I've watched another documentary of someone who's got really big balls. Yeah, that injects some stuff into them and it's like, yeah, yeah, that's the one I thought you were talking about. Right, no, no, no. So there is a documentary about someone who's injected, big balls yeah they inject some stuff into them and it's like yeah yeah that's the one i thought you're talking about no no no so there is a

documentary about someone who's injected i can't remember what it is into them but they are absolutely like ginormous it's like a fucking walrus's head hanging in between his legs yeah yeah i've seen them yeah i don't know why why would you want that but yeah who knows so what you're saying is you can't get this snip anesthetichetic if you've got big knackers. You've got to be full-on local anaesthetic, knocked out, full-on gassed. Yeah, you'd love that, though. Honestly, when the dentist scrapes plaque off the bottom of me teeth,

I'm like, can you not just knock this out for me? Yeah. I'm a massive wimp. Yeah, yeah. Ugh, horrible. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah! It's time for Rosie's... Mysteries, mysteries, mysteries.

Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. rosies. Mysteries, mysteries, mysteries. Mysteries, mysteries, mysteries. Well, I never knew that. You're kidding. You're kidding. You're kidding. What the fuck is going on? Who recorded this with you? It's me. Informative mistress.

Who's doing the whistling? Me. You've overlapped them? Yes. Listen. I can hear you blowing into the microphone. You are the worst whistler. You are the worst whistler you are the worst whistler on the planet

well do you know what's awful right it is Rosie's Mysteries it's back I'm glad it's back that's fantastic but that was

Jesus Christ I did think this morning when I was sat on the loo downstairs I was like I can't I'm not very good at whistling I should have done

wah wah wah wah wah wah well let's all look forward to that next time yeah anyway that's fucking hell Rosie's Beatrice is back goodness me

we're not allowed to use the music but when we are I think we are but I think it would cost a fuck load of money and I just don't think it's worth it

let's find out how much because I do miss I do miss a little bit of music it was nice with little bits and little you know little songs

I told you didn't I before that I was going to use a Blink-102 song on my DVD and it was going to of music. Right, okay. It was nice. It was little bits and little, you know, little songs. I told you didn't know before that I was going to use a Blink-102 song on my DVD and they wanted 10 grand and I was like, Mark, Tom, Travis,

I love yous but you're not getting 10 grand. You're not getting 10 grand off me for the bit that people turn the fucking DVD off of.

Yeah. Need chance. Yeah, true. I get it. Okay, Hi Rosie, what's his, Hi Rosie and her husband?

What I mean? Wow. Wow. wow downgraded how does it feel to be rosie's husband yeah because i was i remember when i was chris ramsay's wife for like five years yeah i do remember yeah yeah um it's fine look about time about time don't worry about it okay got a short but sweet story for you. Maybe even a Rosie's Mysteries. Well, congratulations. It is a Rosie's Mysteries. Let's see. My mum, who is a bit of a germaphobe like our Chris,

messaged me the other day with a horrible event that had just happened to her. Oh, God. She had ordered a Chinese takeaway from an unfamiliar restaurant. Oh, she went rogue. So either hers was closed, either hers was closed either hers was closed or she couldn't get through

yeah and just got into a different one yeah okay okay we've all done it halfway through her beef and black bean sauce

she found oh fuck off it's just a short and sweet one what did she find I do not like beef and black bean sauce at all anyway I remember last time

I had that from a place it tasted like soil you just don't like Chinese food I love Chinese food it's just all

gloopy and sugary the stuff you get it's just really like it's like syrup you get like the barbecue spare ribs it's like syrupy you've not experienced

it properly that's the problem no I'm telling you right now I do need I do you're right I do need to I do, you're right, I do need to be properly sure

because it's not a thing I ever ate growing up. Curries, yes. Pizzas and stuff like that, yes. And Italian food, yes. My family never, ever got anything

from a Chinese takeaway so it wasn't until years later and I always either get something far too watery or far too gloopy and sugary. I can't hit a middle ground. But you need to just be schooled properly.

It upsets us. Any kind of food, right now, any kind of food where stuff's floating in it, get it out of my fucking face. Like, I can't have really water. Yeah, anything like that. Yeah, balls of stuff with things floating, get it out of my fucking face.

And yeah, anything far too sort of sludgy and syrupy. No, I hear you. I need to hit a middle ground with Chinese food. I know what you're like. Someone needs to help. Someone needs to help

because the fucking menu is so intimidating. There is millions of things on the menu. I don't know what's going on. You'll find something one day. You've got loads of time left. Right.

Honestly, if we're sticking together, you've got loads of Chinese takeaways to go. If we're sticking together. Yeah. Wow. A lot of Chinese takeaways to come. If we're sticking together. Yeah. Wow. A lot of people on this planet. Wow.

So what have they found? What have you found halfway through? I'm going to go with, because it's our podcast and because we've mentioned them in the past and they are a bit of a trope. Oh. Fingernail. Oh. I've gone with fingernail.

Okay. I will also cover my bases with toenail right finger or toenail something nail yeah right i'm telling you now you're wrong right right okay i'm glad i'm glad halfway through her beef in black bean sauce she found a piece of chewed up chewing gum oh my that's so much worse than a fingernail oh my god oh but you you would chew it for a while

that's the worst bit I don't know if she oh I don't know if she ingested it oh if it was in your oh but can I just say as a person

who I do like a chewing gum right sometimes when you're talking or when you're busy they can they can go rogue and just fall out your mouth so I get it but I mean there shouldn't be chewing chewing gum when you're talking or when you're busy, they can go rogue and just fall out your mouth. So I get it.

But I mean, there shouldn't be chewing chewing gum when they're preparing food, but I do get it. It's happened to me before. Have you never just spat a bit of chewing gum out when you've been talking to someone? And literally, I've done it before and it's landed on someone's coat and I'm like, I'm so sorry.

Fucking hell. No, honestly. Oh my God. Like, yeah. Yeah. I'm pretty sure it was my sister so it's not too bad but it's happened before

chewing gum has fallen out of my mouth in the car before yeah yeah yeah so that's grim do you remember we found a bit of we found a plastic tub in a teat

we found a bit of plastic tub yeah can you imagine what putting a mouthful of your Chinese into your mouth and then you're chewing it

and you're chewing it and one bit just won't chew and you're like what the hell and your mouth, and then you're chewing it and you're chewing it, and one bit just won't chew, and you're like, what the hell? And then you get a little kick of either fruit or mint. Oh, no. Mint. Mint would be the worst. I can't, you know, an elf,

when he eats it off the railings, I can't watch it. Do you know what I've often thought would be the worst? This is sort of, I've never told you this, but I thought it would be the worst, worst, worst thing to ever feed someone. What? So you know the old chewing gums

that were long, long sort of boards of chewing gum? Yeah, the good old days. What was the one called? Like Wrigley's Spearmint. What was it called, man? Or Fruity, Fruity, Tutti Frutti or whatever it was called. A Fruity Juicy, Juicy Fruit. Juicy Fruit.

It was the yellow one, wasn't it? Yellow one, lush. You can remember, so you now have, most chewing gum now is the little tiny tablets and it used to be the long sort of strips in the silver

in the silver wrapping yeah the 90s I often thought can you imagine getting a load of them and just putting them in a sandwich

in between two bits of bread as they are like loads of them and just having to take a bite of it and then you're chewing and the bread's clagging in

I just think it would be a nightmare and that's fucking halfway there that is that's that's awful isn't that the thing that nightmares are made of that's not wouldn't that be the worst yeah because some fucker on youtube somewhere eating it it's two things that i really like chewing gum and sandwiches so it's just sorry for all that did i ever tell you when i was younger um my mom and dad are a big fan of a BBC or an ITV drama. Yes. Big time. There was one on years ago,

a prison drama that my mum and dad were watching, for the life of us, I can't remember what it was, but someone in the prison was not very popular and someone gave them a sandwich and there was razor blades in the sandwich. And it was a really, I remember watching it when I was younger. I came in the room, my mum and dad were watching it and this guy took a bite of a sandwich and there was razor blades in the sandwich and it was a really I remember watching it when I was younger I came in the room me mum and dad

were watching it and this guy took a bite of a sandwich and there was all the blood coming out of his mouth and I was like fucking scarred for life do you know I checked

my sandwiches for years and years and years because of all them all them people you're pissed off yeah

because of all those all those people on E-Wing that are that are out to get us oh no honestly did you really

Rosie I checked the ones my mum made us no shut up I swear to god for razor blades I swear

like just she's just trying to get us in the old razors in the mouth thing and this is why younger children should not watch things that are inappropriate

for them yeah that's hilarious bad innit yeah bless you bless you well I check every room in the house before I go to bed yeah for razor blades Yeah, yeah. That's hilarious. Bad, isn't it? Yeah. Bless you. Bless you. Well, I check every room in the house before I go to bed.

Yeah. Probably is our blades. Yeah. In sandwiches. In sandwiches. There's a sandwich on the floor. Why did I eat that? No, I think I put it down to having a brother and sister who we used to shock each other

all the time. I've told you this I've said this before and I hated it all I expected was someone to jump out on us yeah I'm busy playing on Resident Evil

at the minute and it's the it's the something jumping out on you yeah I hate it but you know I always think

I check every room every night before I go to bed right I've stopped checking the cupboards because it's just too much I can't be arsed but I used to right

yeah what would I do if someone was there like what would but I think I think get killed no but part of it

is because Rosie you'd be better off just not knowing so just go to bed and then at least you'd be a kip or something

rather than oh open the oh who hello oh here I am I don't know

what I would do I'd check them every night what would you do with the money but I've said before I feel what I would do I'd check them every night I'd go what would you do this morning but I've said before I feel like they would just go

oh you goddess and I'd go go on back out with you and then walk over hit you one day and I'd go bye babadoo babadoo babadoo back

randomly I saw a thing on one of those fact you know like a fact Twitter fact Instagram thing and it was just this random fact right and I thought

I don't believe that and I looked into it because I was sitting in the van and I was just on my fact, right? And I thought, I don't believe that and I looked into it because I was sitting in the van and I was just on my way to a gig and I didn't have much to do so I quickly looked into it, right? And on the vein of what you've just been saying and this might make it worse for you, right?

But in 2008, right? In Japan, a man, right? I could read it off the, I've got the website here. Is he in the website here a man was realising that his food was mysteriously

going missing out of his fridge this is 100% true I fact checked it a man was food was going missing from his fridge and he thought

he either had some kind of pest problem or he thought he was getting burgled but they were only taking food and he set up cameras inside his house

to see what was happening which gave him a yeah it went straight to his phone or straight to his work computer or whatever and showed him it. And he saw a woman in his house going in his fridge. And he phoned the police. And the police went into his house to try and find this woman. They found no sign of anyone breaking in.

So they broke in their selves. Right. She'd been living on the top shelf of his cupboard, right? What cupboard? A cupboard in his house. She'd been living on the top shelf, like a, right? What cupboard? A cupboard in his house. She'd been living on the top shelf, like a bunk bed, for months. How long? Months?

Months. Several months, it says. Oh, my word. Yeah. So she was just... So he'd go out to work. She'd come out. She'd have a shower.

He couldn't smell her because she'd have a shower. She'd sort herself out. She'd have some food. And then when he was due to come back, she'd go back in the cupboard, climb up the top and go back to keep him in the top of the cupboard. No. Yeah. That's awful. Incredible awful incredible that isn't it

I don't even know what I say I don't even know what I think about that it's horrific but that's why I sometimes think you shouldn't have a pattern every day

right yeah mix it up yeah no one could do that in our life nah because there is no we have no structure

at all it's all over the place yeah there's no structure but if you go to work every single day, Monday to Friday, what do you do on a weekend? Well, the woman.

I imagine she just stayed in the closet. Netflix and chill. I mean, I imagine she'd just lay there. Bless her. I think she was a homeless woman and they don't know how she got in, how she actually ended up getting in the house. But yeah, I think she was a homeless woman

and she'd managed to get in. That was better than living on the streets. I wonder if he didn't mind. wonder if he was like oh no no you got arrested no no yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah what a bastard you didn't even notice you'd shit yourself oh it would be awful i'm sorry i would shit myself but then at the same time if it genuinely if it happened to me that you're away on tour you know I'd be like look can you stay these nights

when Chris is away and we'll work something out are you any good you got your date what's it called your CRB your CRB checks yeah yeah

you're any good with kids can you have the kids yeah is this how you work the washing machine no you'll still sleep on there I haven't got a bed I'll still sleep on the shelf

I'm a bastard I'm a bastard I'm a bastard Babadoo babadoo babadoo Dear Chris and Rosie I am currently writing this to you whilst utterly pissed not going to lie Wow okay

this should be fun I'm a first year university student in Portsmouth really wanted to see Chris whilst he was here but all the tickets are sold out sorry about that and my local club

is Prism What the hell's going on here? So she goes to uni at Portsmouth. Right. Hey O'Shea actually I don't know. Right. The local club it says Izzer Prism. Right sorry Prism. Yes. It's a name I thought you meant a football club. The local

club. I thought you meant a football club. I was like what the hell. Right okay so the night club's called Prism. Why should I put Izzer Prism? I think they're a chain of night clubs. Oh okay sorry I nightclub's called Prism. Why should I put is a prism? I think they're a chain of nightclubs. Oh, okay, sorry, I didn't know that. So you'd say is a tiger tiger. Oh, right, okay. Is a Oceana.

Right, so is a prism. Yeah. Or it's a prison, and she's pissed and she's spelt it wrong. This is a fucking, I mean, it's bad enough you read, it's bad enough you read in letters from people who aren't drunk when they write them. So let's extrapolate the further we get on. It says Prism had. So it's a chain of clubs.

You're right. I'm sorry. Big up Prism. Never been. You do not need to apologise. At one point during the mad time that was Freshers Week, Prism had something called a pound party on Mondays where tickets were a pound and so were drinks.

Right. That's the cheapest chips, that, isn't it? Goodness me. On these nights, they would occasionally give out free hot dogs. And I want to know... How are they making any money? It's like Prism is absolutely pissing away profits. Wow.

So they're giving away free hot dogs. I wanted to know whether you would accept a hot dog from a club. I'm a fat shit, so I probably would, but I'm interested to hear your response. If I was a student and I paid a pound to get in, and it was a pound a drink, and it was a free hot dog, I'd have had fucking loads of hot dogs. Oh, see, I thought you would have said no. I thought you would have gone,

oh, food made on a club premises. I'm being very honest with myself here. When I'm drunk, especially if it's a pound a drink, and if I was a student, I'd be made on a club premises. I'm being very honest with myself here. When I'm drunk, especially if it's a pound of drink, and if I was a student, I'd be a clip all over it. Oh yeah, I mean, I'd have been bored.

I never told you the time I went out with my mate in Leeds. My mate went to Leeds University and we all went out. A few of the lads went down from South Shields to go and stay with him. Halfway through the night,

we left Oceana and we went and had, it was when Subway had just started being a thing. Oh yeah. I had two and a half feet of Subway then went back left Oceania and we went and had it was when subway had just started being a thing oh yeah I had two and a half feet of subway then went back to Oceania

ew I had two and a half that's you all over two and a half meatball marinara then went back to Oceania and burped all over everyone

nice yeah I used to go to Oceania it was class wasn't it it had like three floors didn't it can't remember that was brilliant

I would have all of the hot dogs oh yeah yeah all the hot dogs I remember on a night out was brilliant. I would have all of the hot dogs. Oh, yeah, yeah, all the hot dogs. I remember on a night out in Sunderland when I was younger, the Glass Spider, they used to do food. Yeah, yeah, they did do food in there. So at like five o'clock in the morning, you could just get like nachos and that.

Cheese and chips and that, yeah. Absolutely class. Genius idea. It is, isn't it? Why don't more clubs do it? I don't know why people don't realise that you're hungrier out after you've had some food. It might just be, you know what it is?

You're hungrier out after you've had some food. After you've had some drinks, sorry. Sorry, you're hungrier as fuck after you've had some drinks. It might just be... You know what it is? It might just be... Hungry as out after you've had some food. After you've had some drinks, sorry. Sorry, you're hungry as fuck after you've had some drinks. Yeah. Start clamming. Clammeroo. But it might just be a nightmare. Just drunk people spilling chips and that everywhere and just, you know...

Choking hazard. With that as well. Maybe. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Hello, long-time listener, first-time emailer. Ooh, welcome, welcome, welcome and thank you. Thank you. I'm emailing to tell you the story

of my granny's homemade pizzas. As I've been thinking about emailing it in since an episode a few ago about Rosie winning some dough, I think. Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah, this was a while ago, but that's great because all the ones have been recent now.

So this is quite nice to have one from the past. Take a bet now, y'all. Yeah, that was when I got a free bit of dough. You got a free bit of dough and you put it on the mantelpiece. And it was only during the podcast and chatting about it that I realised that

that was meant to go in the oven. It was definitely meant to go in the oven. Your mum put it on the mantelpiece like another. No one said. No. It's like a thing that you shouldn't, do you know what I mean?

It shouldn't have to have been said. Do you think? But yeah, it's like going, here's a picture or where do I put that? On the table and eat off it on the wall and actually yeah wholeheartedly blame sandra yeah she always

said she was very busy yeah when we were kids i mean that is busy that's really busy yeah that's actually bordering on neglect yeah let's display your door in its first form it wasn't even a good room i don't think no of course it wasn't a shite room, I don't think. No, of course it wasn't. It was in a shite room. When I was a kid, my family would go to visit my grandparents in Scotland a few times a year. My granny would always cook for us. We knew she wasn't the best cook in the world, but she liked cooking for big groups

and we never complained. One of her favourite things was homemade pizza. Right. My granny's pizzas were oddly thick and the base didn't have that nice chewy crust that makes pizzas very satisfying to bite into okay it then transpired that she had for her whole life used one door recipe for every door related food regardless of what the food actually was right

she said and i quote all door is door the recipe she the recipe she had been using was a scone recipe motherfucker that is a hefty door that's a heavy door we had all been politely eating scone pizzas for years scone pizzas

oh my word it must have been like a sponge. Personally, having, I'd quite enjoy that. But you put sugar in that and everything. You don't have to put sugar in scones.

Right, okay. Because some of them are, like cheese scones and that don't have sugar in. Right. But it would, it wouldn't be great. It's dense.

It's dense. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my God. It must have, they crumble as well. It must have crumbled away.

It would have been, do you know how I can imagine it? Yeah. It would have been like when kids make pizzas at school. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they bring them home. Yeah, we've talked about that. as well it must have crumbled away it would be do you know how i can imagine it yeah it would have been like when kids make pizzas at school oh yeah and they bring them home yeah and it's like utterly rank yeah that's what i'm bringing one i remember bringing one back and feeling genuinely sorry that my dad had to eat a slice of it oh i was always buzzing with mine yeah nah mine was bad yeah stodgy dough in the middle have i not told you how um carl lutchinson's mom makes pizzas

no um so i don't want to ostracize he says they're amazing and they do sound amazing Stodgy dough in the middle Have I not told you how Carl Hutchinson's mom Makes pizzas No I'm intrigued though I don't want to ostracise He says they're amazing And they do sound amazing I don't want to ostracise people Oh is it with stotties Yeah you've said Have I said it before

Aye With sausages and that on Yeah cuts a stottie open Doesn't matter Can I just say right I'm absolutely starving Right It's because we talked about

Is it because I said Chicken leg earlier on We've talked about chicken legs Jack potatoes Scones Hot dogs Alright man Well look we can get some food After this Chewing gum in Chinese I'm flipping Chewing gum Because I said chicken leg earlier on. We've talked about chicken legs, jack potatoes, scones, hot dogs. All right, man. Well, look, we can get some food after this.

Chewing gum in Chinese. I'm flipping. Chewing gum made you hungry. Absolutely glamming. Jesus. Thank you once again for listening to us waffle on about Udashite. A lot of waffling this week. A lot of waffling this week.

Well, because we've just been catching up. We have. But it's been lovely as usual. Thank you so much. We'llaffling this week. A lot of waffling this week. Well, because we've just been catching up. We have. But it's been lovely as usual. Thank you so much. We'll see you next week. Shag Maranoid is part of the Acast Creator Network. It is indeed, guys. As always, if you want to get in touch,

shagmaranoid at gmail.com. Keep sending all your kinds of stuff in. We absolutely love it. And yes, I am back on tour. Not many tickets left for the places. You know what? I'm going to give you the places again. Why not?

Nobody gives a shit. How dare you? The whole tour sold out apart from Stockport, Aberdeen, Leicester, Manchester, Poole, Blackburn, Glasgow. The rest are all sold out. It's going to be the last tour for a while. The last chance you get to see this little lad strutting his stuff. So come on down.

It's a good show. Not going to lie. Thank you very much. Even though most of those places clearly hate you because no one's bought any tickets. Brilliant. There's literally a handful left in each one. That is offensive. You've got really a hundred people in each hand. Yeah.

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