Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 155. The Pitt's

Episode Date: February 18, 2022

On the podcast this week Chris & Rosie discuss Brad Pitt's relationship status, past lives and storm facts. The beefs involve a real time print count and Rosie shares how life is with Chris on the road. QFTP's cover bean bag trays, a foreign object in food and menstrual cups. All of this plus the couple ask the age-old question...do Americans use electric kettles? Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever?

Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Center for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Hello, you're listening to Shag Married Annoyed with me, Rosie Ramsey, and my husband, Christopher Ramsey, the real life married couple who, just before they're about to record their podcast, decide to have really important chats about dates and childcare and work and life.

And we do it every single bastard week before the podcast. We need to stop doing this. I think we need to let everyone we need to let everyone behind the curtain here right yeah so sometimes we'll say things like you know we'll be chatting away randomly and we'll I'll drop in that I'm miserable

or we'll drop in that we're annoyed about something and we'll never really say what it is but put it this way guys right if you're with your wife or your husband or your partner

and you're there and you're having a massive discussion about schools or you know something huge in life or, you know, childcare. We're going to be, we've got no childcare for this.

What are we going to do? And you wind each other up and you try and get it sorted and there's no answer. Then if you've got work, you both fuck off away from each other and go and do something else away from that person. We have full house and marriage and life discussions and then have to sit down and do this it's we have been what time is it now right as we record it is 25 past 12 now

we came up here at 11 o'clock to do this and we are fucking sat and we've went through emails and went through diaries and we've slagged fucking people off like sorry when i say people i mean like my parents your parents child care and they childcare, and they're away, and she's fucking busy, aren't we? And they've got a better fucking social life than us, the daft old bastards. Yeah, it's irritating. I don't know why we do this. Our son, Robin, I went downstairs twice to get a drink,

and he's literally sitting there, he's on his half term, and he's going, we walked in, and he went, have you finished the podcast? I went, no, he went, how have you not started yet? And I wasn't even like, don't shout at your dad. I was like, you've got a fucking point. How have you not started yet and I was like I wasn't even I wasn't even like don't shout at your dad I was like you've got a fucking point how have you not

started mate I didn't nah but here we are here we are okay Christ alive yeah

so there we go we've started on a nice negative note but I just honestly guys I just want we've always been really honest with you

and I just want to let you be out of the curtain that we have full on fucking huge discussions and then sit down to try and have a laugh. What I find very funny though

we've had the last two nights where you haven't been gigging but we've just sat and watched telly and had a lovely time and been really relaxed and then it's not until we get in here

in front of these mates and we go right no we need to sort this out. Yeah. I said man before we should literally turn our phones off the day before we're doing the podcast

we should turn our phones off lock the doors and not let the outside world affect we in's do it i'm up for it can't be asked um it seems it seems too easy i've found a lovely little here's something if you're listening at home and you uh get distracted by your phone a lot right on an iphone i don't know if what it's like for other phones but you can do this thing where you um there's a the drop down menu that you get from the sky of the phone you pull that down from the sky of the phone in the right hand corner you pull it the sky you call that the sky of your phone well it is it's the sky of the phone and the other

sides of the ground okay and the other so the bottom of the ground and the top of the sky i don't i don't think i've ever had to explain it before because no well no one's ever said something stupid to me it's the sky of the phone but it comes from the sky of the sky. I don't think I've ever had to explain it before. Because, well, no one's ever said something stupid to me as the sky of the phone. But carry on. It comes from the sky of the phone and you can have like different options.

So I put mine on work option and it means that only, so the only numbers that can ring me when I'm, when I've got it in work mode is you, me mam,

this Robin's school and Rafe's nursery. Right. Isn't that good though? So not, it's called work mode. I didn't know about this. It's called work mode and then if somebody texts you, it'll tell them this Robin's school in Rafe's nursery right isn't that good though so not it's called work mode I didn't know about this it's called work mode

and then if somebody texts you it'll tell them that you're at work right okay and that's why you're not really replying or anything

like that right and it's really it's really effective because you can't you check your phone there's no notifications people can still

message you but you've got to like open your phone and look in the certain bits it's very good and do you know what it is everyone's probably listening going yeah i've been doing that for years yeah of course they are uh everyone's offended that you the biggest fucking luddite person who knows

nothing about technology is now trying to tell them how to put their phone in a certain thing apologies everyone yeah and secondly that would work if the main person annoying you and agitating you and ruining your day wasn't me who's physically with you what do you mean? well you're like I'll put it in work words I can't be bothered

I live in the same house with you and I work with you and I'll come in and I go well haven't got childcare for this day and everything falls into shit I know I blame you

no I was literally blaming me alright fair enough as well so there you go it's episode 155 thank you for listening thank you so much

for being here we hope you're all alright we're recording this on the Tuesday of this week but I know it's episode 155 thank you for listening thank you so much for being here we hope you're all all right and we're recording this on the tuesday of this week but i know it's it's due to get windy again this week so as you're listening on the friday i hope all your fucking fence panels and trees are still in place when will this wind fuck off i don't know do you know what wind is my least favorite weather i've got a fact that's going to really upset you. What? Oh, I'm going to tell you after this. No, tell us now.

No, no, no. We'll tease it for the in-the-come-back, right? This is going to annoy you. Look at you. That's what you used to do in radio. Tease it and then they'll come back after the song.

Coming up after Shania Twain, we've got a fact that's going to piss Rosie off. Do you want to know who Shania Twain once was going out with? Find out after this song. No one.

Because she's not impressed by anyone. And her song just lags off Brad Pitt. Don't impress her that much. Wait to set the bar high, love. I know. Like, come on. Anyway, listen. Is Brad Pitt single now?

What? I mean, come on. No. Look, I think you're beautiful. Look, honestly, I love you, right? In my eyes, you are the most beautiful woman but how well i know you know you're fucking worth will you you're embarrassing yourself on the podcast um that's possibly the worst thing you've ever said to me and you know what's really sad

about it i know that he wouldn't even look at us twice oh god yeah no yeah he'd probably hand you whatever empty cup he was just drinking probably of. Probably hand us his car keys. Do you? Do you park the cars? Are you? Yes, Mr. Pitt. Mr. Pitt. Why is he just, in my head,

he's got 50% less attractive because he's now Mr. Pitt. Yes, yes, shit name. Mr. Pitt. The Pits. You keep saying that to make yourself feel better. I do, yeah. Now listen, right?

Without going any further on, before we go any further into this audio delight that we've got for you this week, right? With the thing that I've already teased, we're going to piss Rosie off with a little fact after the break. I love a fact. Listen, right? It is time for this week's lucrative, lucrative sponsor.

This week's sponsor is... Hiccups. Hey. Have you done this before? How's your day going? I might have done. I think you have. Have I done hiccups hey have you done this before how's your day going i might have done i think you have have i done hiccups you honestly basically i had give up on this feature i can't do you know what it is i need to listen to all of the podcasts and find out which ones i've done i'm not going through 140 154 sponsors sometimes i don't say it straight away i prattle on for 10 minutes like this one anyway look all i I'm saying is I was trying to have

a serious discussion the other day with someone and I had hiccups and it just made us think you could literally be explaining that you've cured cancer but if you're hiccuping

while that's happening you'd have to wait. No one's going to listen to you. They're going to go we don't believe you. Do you know what I mean? And it's actually really simple. What are you going to do?

Oh, shut up man. They're horrible. I hate the hiccups. I hate the hiccups. Have you ever seen a baby with hiccups fucking terrified I don't think Rafe's had hiccups yet he had hiccups the other day

did he we were in the soft play and he had hiccups and he just like every day he just looked at us you've seen Rafe's hiccups before I saw him

yeah yeah it was you know it's because he had a part time mother with every hiccup he was like and he looks at us going fuck was that and he's like

oh it's gone I'm glad that's over fucking hell what was that and I'm like us going fuck was that and he's like that's gone I'm glad that's over fucking hell what was that and I'm like oh dude I can't stop and I'm giving him a shock giving him a fright

and he's like why are you making this worse and I'm like I just let him I just let him tremble about they're fucking horrible they are horrible

I can't bear them I hate them I cannot bear them do you know some people have them constantly Rosie I think I don't know if I've said it on the podcast or not

I did a gig and I think it was the University of East Anglia if I'm right but it was somewhere around sort of Norwich area right there was a girl in the front

who was hiccuping and I was like oh you got the hiccups and I spoke to her she'd had them her whole life since she was about fucking nine

she had to do her exams in a separate room on her own to not put people off to not put other people off oh that is oh my gosh she was laughing about it

it was years ago I did this gig. But I literally, yeah, she was like... Does she hurt? Does she hurt? She just constantly hiccuped and every time... Now and then it would be a loud one

and she was laughing, it would catch her laugh and it would, like, ride the wave of the laugh. But, yeah, we're probably talking about it. Did they stop when she slept? I don't know.

Slept? Slept. Slept. Morning, how did you sleep? Somebody needs some sleep over here. Yeah, I should have had to do a bless. I should have had to do our exams in a separate room on our own. I'd have loved to do my exams in a separate room.

I wouldn't want to be on the copy of the guy next to us. Now, time for the jingle. Oh, here's the jingle. We'll be back. With this fact. Back. Can't wait. We had a fight about the jingle.

We couldn't settle on a jingle. So this is the jingle. We hope you like the jingle. Hello and welcome back. We are currently just laughing at the fact Jingle! and love, you've still got an A chance. So welcome back. Oh, welcome back. Oh, good. So what's this fact about wind? So obviously there's another storm on its way, apparently, or it's been here this week. I hope.

Like what if another tree falls down? What the hell are we going to do? I don't think any of them are near our house or our stuff now. I think everything's okay. My Nana's fence is knackered. Yeah. Like honestly.

That tree that fell down during the, it was the night we were on Graham Norton. Yes. It still hasn't been sorted out. No, it was terrifying. Chris, I'm genuinely worried. Newsflash, house insurance doesn't cover trees falling down, by the way. No.

Have I talked about the wood? The fact that every time someone sees that it fell over, they go, oh, you've got loads of firewood, though. And I go, it's the wrong kind of wood. It doesn't burn fair. It's caught your chimney. Stop telling us I've got loads of fucking firewood. But haven't they took it away, the wood,

and aren't they going to swap it with some, but they've just never come back? Ah, it's never come back. Have we been duped? Oh, honestly, man. But haven't they took it away, the wood, and aren't they going to swap it with some, but they've just never come back? Ah, he's never come back. Have we been duped? Oh, honestly, man. Dipped, what's it? Dipped. Blokes, I always just think

a bloke who owns a tractor or a big van is always going to one-up me in any kind of situation like that. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Harder. Man with van, man with tractor,

I think he sees the world in a way I'll never see it. He'll sort stuff out. He can mend a fence. Yeah. That can it. Anyway, look. So, your mum told us. Oh, right, yeah. Your us your mom told us yesterday oh is this from me mom yeah this fact is from me mom she's

always sitting on her ipad reading papers and stuff it's not going to be true it not is it is not looking into it so and it's going to really annoy you right which is what i think will be nice um it's going to annoy all the women out there so there's another storm coming and now for some unbelievable reason when they name storms after women right people don't take it as seriously my god so the death toll apparently they've done research right the death toll and the and you know is higher when the storm is a woman because people go yeah blokes you mean yeah blokes ah the slag

it'll be now that and they go and do things that they're told not to do even if it's the same level of severity wow

even if it's you know I don't know how they measure it but if it's a fucking eight and the other one's eight it's amber

it's all the colours okay so say it's a red yeah right if storm Stephen is a red but storm Stephanie is also a red people go if Storm Stephen is a red but Storm Stephanie

is also a red people go ah Stephanie go and play golf on a hill and they're not bothered oh good prick

good hope Stephanie knocked you the fuck off your feet oh honestly that's it no look at me look at me

cross my arms guys just cross the wrong she's raging that's just that's the world we live in isn't it Mingan though I couldn't I was like I was like what do you mean she's like yeah yeah just that's the world we live in isn't it minging though I couldn't I was like

I was like what do you mean she's like yeah yeah so apparently when they're naming so they're talking about now not naming them after women anymore because

alright that'll be right people are like it'll be fine and then they're like dying no keep naming them after women let all the blokes kill all the sexists go out

let them crack on we'll be fine yeah honestly morons yeah oh that is so that is such an annoying

you shouldn't have told me that that has infuriated me it really has yeah it's I mean again because I'm not

sexist I can laugh at it but yeah it's really irritating it's absolutely just yeah awful anyway fun

fun and games. There you go. Yeah. So what are they calling this one? It's Darwin or something, isn't it? No. Storm something? I don't know.

But listen, I've just thought as well. Storm is going to knock out all your fences. Guess what though? Guess what though? What? Bit of a glimmer of hope for you. If they ever call a storm, Storm Rosie, that is genuinely the only chance you'll get to blow Brad Pitt.

Eww! Wow. Lads, lads, lads. Terrific. Lads? I don't know where the lads are. They would never call it Storm Rosie because Rosie is a jolly dog name.

They would never call it that. Let them spend a day with you. Eh? Let them spend a day with you. They go, I spent a day with that Rosie Ramsey. We'll save Storm Rosie for fucking the worst one because she, honestly, what a dick she is.

Like, do you know Twister when they've got all them balls? Let him spend a day with me. Good. Speaking of crazy days. I thought you were going to say speaking of balls, but carry on. No, no ball talk, I'm afraid, this week.

Tune in next week for some ball talk. Ball chat. You're on tour at the minute. Which, you know, it's great. Everyone's getting to see you two having a lovely time.

I am currently sick of my life. Again, shout out to the crowds. They've been absolutely amazing. Good, I'm glad. Actually, no, no. I haven't mentioned this. One guy in Scunthorpe shouted out a punchline shout out to the crowds they've been absolutely amazing good I'm glad actually no no I haven't mentioned this

one guy in Scunthorpe shouted out a punchline and I wanted to walk into the crowd and kick him in the fucking teeth how did he know because he's a giant cunt I don't know how he knows

but he's a fucking knob I've seen the show before there's a bit a secret in the show that I tell that is genuinely when it happened to us

I don't even want to give too much away but when it happened to us when this't even want to give too much away but when it happened to us when this thing happened to us and it's one word is the punchline of this thing yeah when it happened to us i was like i'm furious but this is gonna be phenomenal for stand up and he fucking shouted the punchline out and it was that thing of where it's so strange as a stand-up right because he said it and i was like guys ladies and gentlemen it was and i leave a moment of silence and he went and he shot and like they sort of laughed and then i had to go no yeah it was it's what he said and they all went oh

and i was like you and i was like you fucking knob but it's weird because out of like you know 1200 people i can't have a huff on because one guy's pissed us off do you know i mean you can't give the whole class detention because well so i had to kind of drag myself through the end of the show but I was fucking furious some people are weird though some people love it bloke in Scunthorpe fuck you man

yeah big time anyway back to my story sorry so Chris is on tour having a lovely time except for that one bloke

who was there and ruined his night which honestly it's only one bloke out of thousands of thousands of people exactly has it ruined the entire tour

yes entire tour ruined well I'm currently I'm currently solo parenting with the two boys. And the other day, I made a rookie mistake, Christopher. What did you do? Rookie mistake. I did too many activities in one day. Okay.

So, I mean, I say too many activities. I'm probably just a lazy mother. But in the morning... Lazy mother. Just lazy mother. Just lazy mother. In the morning, I took them mother just lazy mother in the morning i took them swimming maybe mom took them swimming yeah intense but good intense sounds dangerous

oh are you intense are you in this comedy mode right now yeah shit dad joke do you want to stop wow because it's horrific wow right you ready do you want to level yourself up to you know you're being a good comedian? No. Goodness me. Were you that broken scum, though? Is this? Okay, now.

Oh, sorry. Okay. No, listen. So I've been swimming. Yes. And it was, you know, intense. Yes. To say the least.

It was absolutely heaving, right? Anyway. But it was good. The kids loved it. Yeah. That afternoon, me mum left work, right? She was done for the day and uh i took the kids to one of robin's friends birthday parties yes right and honestly do you

know when you just like what is happening so i took them and uh i had them both stressed a bit i was sweating right and i still had wet hair from this woman i was just kind of up a height all was good rave's nearly walking so you've got to walk around everywhere with him so me back was Stressed to bits. I was sweating, right? And I still had wet hair from the swimming. I was just kind of up a height. All was good. Rafe's nearly walking, so you've got to walk around everywhere with him. So my back was absolutely done in. I was dripping with sweat, right?

But I had an uniron t-shirt underneath with like, so I had a white t-shirt with a black bra because I'd just practically got ready in the dark after swimming. Right. And I was, I can't take my thick jumper off because I just look hideous underneath, right? So anyway, and I was on my period. Jesus Christ. And so I was I can't take my thick jumper off because I just look hideous underneath right so anyway and I was on my period

Jesus Christ and so I was walking around with Rafe and he tripped over and he bossed his nose so his nose started bleeding oh god I didn't know this yeah yeah

I told you you did not tell me that his nose bled no his nose bled right but to the point where I was just chatting to someone

they were like em em the baby's nose and I was like oh fuck's sake right okay that's you all over the place yeah so then i had to sort rafe out and then whilst i was sorting rafe out i came back in and one of the moms was had like a wet paper towel on robin's knee and i was like what's happened here so his knee which he'd grazed the day before that split

open so there was blood everywhere and i was just why are my, the only two kids in the whole party who could have hurt themselves were my two kids when I was there by myself. And then, for the whole two hours that I was there, I was on my period,

I was really heavy and I thought I'd leak through my pants. But I actually sat in a bit of fruit juice, right? So I was bent over. Oh, don't Chris. So I was bent over

walking Rafe around, constantly having to dry his nose because it was just pouring with blood and i was bent over and i could just feel a wet patch on the back of my pants and i was like i've bled through my pants and all i've done for the last two hours is bend over walking around with this kid and i was just you know when you're like i just want the ground to swallow us up but it was all good the kids enjoyed it came back home one good thing the one knackered right they were absolutely shattered so i got them straight off to bed and had a glass of wine um but yeah yeah just drama just pure drama yeah i mean that is yeah wow you okay i'm all right i'm not listening i'm all right yeah gosh but it was just you know when

you know when you can see that people can tell yeah that you're up behind because everyone's like are you all right yeah i'm absolutely fine like everything's just great just so good i'm so our kids are absolutely the kids who injure themselves at the party like every time every time i did a soft play when i was younger there was a birthday party and i did a forward somersault off a thing, off a high bit onto some foam pad and I kneed myself in my eye and I had a massive black eye.

Ouch. Yeah. And I remember I took Robin to a birthday party years ago. It must have been around three or four and it was heaving and there was one bouncy castle in this thing. Did I tell you this? Yes, I remember this.

There was one bouncy castle. Yeah. There was honestly about 45 kids on this bouncy castle. It was crazy. And two of them breathed into each other, and one of them knocked their teeth out, and another one hit the other one's forehead, and they were screaming and crying.

And I literally turned to him and I went, if we leave now, I'll go and buy you a toy. And we just left. I was like, I don't want you to go on the death trap. Please, let's go. Yeah, the dental plan. Bouncy castle. Bouncy castles are intense, aren't they?

Proper. Proper. So anyway, that was my weekend. Well, that was good. Looking forward to seeing this weekend. What flavour fruit shoot? I think we all want to know. What flavour fruit shoot did you sit in?

I think it was orange. Fantastic. Oh, there's the doorbell. There's the doorbell. You know what that is? What? Bean bag chairs. You've ordered some bean bag chairs?

I've ordered some bean bag chairs. Jesus Christ. Because really... What year is it? No, just because. I feel really sorry for the baby. Why? Because he can't sit on the sofa.

I can't sit him on the sofa. Because he'll fall off. Because he'll fall off. And then when I sit him on the floor, I watch the telly, he's just sat, get up right, and watch the telly,

uncomfortable. So I bought him a little, bought him a little bean bag chair. Okay. It's like, it's like a little throne with a stool and I've got Robin the same.

Good God. I might have to go and have a look. As if we needed more fucking clutter around this house. No, and I'm... Every day same. Good God. I might have to go and have a look. As if we needed more fucking clutter in this house. No, and I'm quite big. Every day that doorbell rings. I'm sorry.

Right. But the love them. For fuck's sake. Shall we go and have a look? Can we pause? Oh God, no. No,

we already took an hour and a half to get started. I'm not going to look. I'm not pausing the podcast to go look at some fucking beanbag chairs like it's 1991. I'll literally nip down. No.

I'll nip down. I refuse to let you. The te dip down i refuse to let you i refuse to let you the teal oh god right right i'm gonna go and have a look at these guys you'll get me review after this break babadoo fucking babadoo fucking bar babadoo babadoo bean bag god jesus i'll just put a bonbon in you've just put a So we've just, guys this is like a total fourth wall breaking episode but we've just came back upstairs after looking at the fucking bean bags while she's down there she grabbed about 400

Pringles, hide them in her face. Like six Chris. Alright great and now now I literally said are you ready you said yes, I pressed record and then you put a bonbon in your mouth. What the hell you're one of the biggest podcasters in the country and you're hiring bonbons in your mouth? Christ alive.

It's not even that nice. It's not even that nice. Don't move away from the mic while you're clacking it around your mouth. It's disgusting. Guys, beanbag update. Oh, hey, yes, beanbag update. Yeah, they are pretty cool.

They're bloody brilliant. They look like... Over the moon. They look like teal skateboard launch ramps. Yes. Like sort of quarter pipes. Yeah. They are actually really cool.

Thank you. They've both got the same one. I'm telling you right now, Ria's going to fall off it and smash his head off the tiles. No, because... Chris, it's like... It's like a foot high.

No, it's 30 centimetres. No, it's not even 30 centimetres. It's about 15. That's 12 inches. That's a foot. I'll tell you right now. Uh-huh. I'm going to get the... I'm going to find out where they are. Uh-huh. Hang on. No, it'll's a foot. I'll tell you right now. Uh-huh. I'm going to get there.

I'm going to find out where they are. Uh-huh. Hang on. Don't take too long. I can't be arsed. I love that. It's about a foot high. No, it's not.

It's 30 centimetres. That's a foot. Right, well, it's less than that. It's about 20 centimetres off the ground. Listen, it's not as high as the sofa. Right? Okay, good. Yeah.

They are pretty cool. They're both just sitting on them there watching the telly now. Okay, good. Yeah. They are pretty cool. They're both just sitting on them there watching the telly now. So yeah, there we go. So there's beanbags in the house. Let's, what is the date? As this podcast goes out. Yeah, yeah, he goes with these negative spin on it.

I got it wrong. Yeah, yeah, I'm just, okay. Yeah, so this, we're recording on the 15th. The podcast goes out on the 18th. Yeah. Place your bets. Roll up, roll up. Place your bets for when they're going to

bust and there's going to be fucking bean bags. Little beans all over my house. Polystyrene beans. Roll up, roll up. See? Polystyrene beans. Oh, the baby's put

some in his mouth. Fantastic work. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. It's time for What's Your Beef? What's your beef? Beef, beef, beef. Now, we've been so negative

and whinging with the world. I know. I'm so sorry. It's time to turn that on your beef? Beef, beef, beef. Now, we've been so negative and whinging with the world. I know. I'm so sorry. It's time to turn that on each other. Oh, no. We don't mean to be like this. I don't know what it is. We're just getting into a little rut, don't we?

But it's nice to have a whinge. Do you know what it is? I think people maybe like listening to Have a Whinge because... Do you think? Well, yeah. Well, there's nothing worse than someone just banging on about how fucking great everything is. There is a lot of positive podcasts as well to be fair isn't there

there is a lot of like and then you know just feel good and that sometimes you just need we need to drag you down to this shit Rosie just in that moment

there couldn't do an impression of a positive podcast because the only ones she listens to is people getting chopped up and buried in gardens and people fucking arguing because it's their job to argue uh yeah now i think sometimes you know look look guys it's just fun

to have a little bit of a win it's cathartic i'll feel better after this and hopefully people will have laughed because i've had a bit of a win yeah and that's that now if i can turn your engine to you normally i ask ladies or gents first i'm just gonna go first this time because you know if you were a storm i wouldn't listen so why should I listen to you as a person? Wow. That's so offensive. Come on then. Sorry. Sorry, everyone.

My beef with you. Yes. You. Personally, I don't know how you dare to give us a beef this week, seeing as you're not here, but that's fine. Oh, okay. Come on then. You weren't going to whinge when I was on tour, but you keep sort of slyly bringing it up. Yeah.

Come on then. Because I'll be much better. I'll be much better when you're on tour. I won't whinge. I won't phone you kicking off. I haven't whinged. I haven't rang you once kicking off. I have not.

You haven't rang me once kicking off. You fucking saved it up when I got home, didn't you? I have not. I've been really good, so don't even day. Don't day. I had a full day

and I sat in some fruit shoot and went swimming in a tent. Listen, my beef with you this week, and it's been happening for a while and I'm fully sick of it, right? Honestly, stop fucking buying prints and pictures. Oh, do you know what it is?

Shut up, let us finish. No, listen, go and live in a shithole then. Go and live somewhere with blank, you'd love that, you'd love that, wouldn't you? Blank walls and just white walls, white floor. One little chair on its own. Grey carpet. Grey carpet, white walls.

That's on. Yeah! Stop buying prints and pictures. Why? Because you buy a fucking massive box of them, right? They come in. I go, where do you want them? You go, I don't know yet.

I go, right. The next thing I know, the doorbell's ringing and some fucking delivery guy's dropping off another box of prints. We're not going to have enough wall space. We've got enough wall space. There are rooms full of prints and I'm sick of it. Chris. And you've got a fella to come and paint.

And he painted the walls and he took me nails out. It took us days to put them prints up on the stairs. He took me nails out. It took us ages to put them back in. He left the holes though, so they've gone back in. It took you 10 minutes. So I'm ready for all of the prints to go back up now he left the holes though so they've gone back in it took you 10 minutes so I'm ready for all of the prints

to go back up now now it's painted honestly god damn you really is this your beef yes it's me beef there's so many

honestly do you know what it is do you know what it is what come on then pause pause no

I'm gonna go and quickly count them no don't go and don't don't go and count them I'm gonna go and count them no we haven't got time we have got time we haven't got time

Chris I'll be back in two minutes pause this I'm gonna go and count the prints don't go and count them No, we haven't got time We have got time We haven't got time Chris I'll be back in two minutes Pause this I'm going to go and count the prints Don't go and count the prints I'm going to count the prints Back in a sec Babadoo babadoo babadoo

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postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com Right. I'm back and I'm slightly out of breath. I'm back and I'm slightly out of breath. I went in our bedroom where there's some on the floors and stuff. I went to the spare room where there's some behind the mirror.

Did you look under the wardrobe? Yes. I went down into the library downstairs where there's a corner where most of them are there. Some of them are in frames, some of them aren't in frames, some of them are still in tubes. 56. And what did you say to me?

There's not 56. Listen to me. 56. And what did you say to me just before I left? I said, I'll check in the garage. You said?

There's 10 in the garage. 66. There are 66 prints and pictures on the floor and under stuff and leaning up against stuff in this house. Have you got enough nails?

There's not enough nails in the fucking world. Oh, there's a doorbell. That'll be more prints. Oh, what you got? Fucking hell. What is it? It'll be more prints. It's not more prints.

I also counted the two that are behind the door on the front hallway as well, by the way. Nid yn fwy o brynau. Bydd yn fwy o brynau. Rwyf hefyd wedi cyfrifio'r dau sy'n y tu ôl y ddau ar y llawr y tu hwyr hefyd. Pa dau? Mae cymaint o brynau. Stopau gwneud brynau. Stopi. Os ydych chi eisiau gwneud ein tŷ yn edrych yn dda. Ac yna bob tro rydych chi'n mynd i'ch mam neu'ch teuluoedd neu rydych chi'n dod yno a ddweud

Waw, gwnaethon nhw y llun hwn i ni, nid ydyn nhw eisiau'r llun arall. Mae'n anhygoel. O! Beth a ddod i'r ddau? Mae ar Iwerddon Citchin. Dwi ddim yn gwybod. Roeddwn i'n gweld yno yno. Mae'n peintio dau ddau gwenyn yn gyrru ar ei llawr. O, wnaethon i fy mam ei llun hwn. Iawn, iawn. island i don't know i saw it down there it's a it's a painting of two little girls walking i've given my mom that one right okay looks like me and my sister 67

67 prince dressed in olden day clothes 67 prince in this house great okay well my beef with you this week is you don't appreciate fine art All right. Go and enjoy your white hovel. Honestly, I'd love nothing more than all white walls, grey carpet, a couple of chairs, telly, done. Awful. Done. That can be your divorcee pad.

I might just buy it now anyway. I've got somewhere to go, a little safe space. Good. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah! By the way, you just said there, you and your sister walking along, a picture looks like you and your sister in old world clothes. Yeah.

You said something the other day on the podcast and when I was listening to it back, I realised I'd completely not heard it. Was that what shocked you, not listening to it? No, because sometimes I'm busy thinking of whatever thing I'm trying to say but then you said something about

I mentioned a time period and you went that's when I thought I lived and I completely went over it and I think someone must have tweeted us

and said the fuck was she talking about there and I thought what was it I mentioned do you know what I'm talking about

I mentioned a time period you just didn't hear it yeah and you were like I think that's when I was alive and I just was like know what I'm talking about I mentioned a time period you just didn't hear it yeah anyway like I think that's when I was alive and I just was like oh and I moved on to my job explain yourself

okay well listen I don't know fully like you know when people say like 19th century 21st century I don't actually know what time that is

honestly don't even try to teach us. It's one back. Okay. So the 20th century is the 1900s. See, why? That's stupid.

That should be the 19th century. No, it shouldn't because the first century was the zeros. The first century was the hundreds. See, I just thought, I get it right.

Okay, right. But then now it all makes sense. But it is complicated. 18th century, so that's 1700s? sense. But it is complicated. 18th century, what? So that's 1700s? Yes. The 18th century. Yes.

Honestly, the stupidest thing. Somebody made a massive fuck up doing that. I'm sorry. Oh, the 19th century. Oh, the 19, no, the 1800s. Right, that's ludicrous. All right, okay. Can we change this?

Okay, okay, okay. Because people are going to be bored now and go, that doesn't make any sense and you know what I didn't pick that up at school because it was too complicated to remember

you didn't pick that up at school because you were too busy smoking outside I found out the other night I was in Durham big shout out to the guy in the front row

of Durham who went to school with you and grasped you up for smoking and got you in detention who was that I don't know I had a lot of fun with that

it was a very nice night there listen no no no listen I don't know what I had a lot of fun with that. It was a very nice night. Listen. So no. No, no, no. Listen. Right. I don't know what century it was.

It's Christmas Eve. It's Christmas Eve. Yeah. We've gone to sleep. We wake up at exactly midnight. Right. On Christmas Day. Zero, zero.

Zero, zero. Is the time. We have the time from zero, zero, zero, zero till one in the morning. We sit awake. That's the first hour of the day that's our one in between one

and two o'clock that's the second hour of the day oh oh oh but it starts with a one still the second hour of the day in between two and three

is the third hour of the day that's how it works okay but it's still I apologise to I'm not I apologise to everyone

who's ever made a calendar right now Apologise to science and the world Stupid Okay guys she's digging her heels in I can't really help you Nobody really goes any further back than the 18th century do they?

Yes I'm sure historians and people making things Do you ever say the 14th century? I imagine people say that, yeah. Go on. Hey, there was another one. No, I just can't imagine why you would. Anyway, I think that in a past life, possibly,

even though I'm Catholic and I shouldn't really believe in past lives, but we've gone over this before. Great. Anyway, I think that I was alive just during the times when the women were rotten. Like Nancy from Oliver. I feel like I was alive. Sorry. Sorry.

I can't do it. I think I was alive during the times when the women were rotten. Like. What are you talking about when the women were rotten I just feel like I was just in the squalor of the like in the Victorian times

I think this is what I'm saying I don't want to say Victorian or was it Edwardian or was it Georgian I don't know honestly Rosie are they kind of houses

I don't know are they times in the world I don't know Rosie for the fact that I'm not the cleverest guy at all but sometimes it's quite fun to pick apart your bullshit I would think it's really safe for the level of our knowledge I the cleverest guy at all, but sometimes it's quite fun to pick apart your bullshit,

I would think it's really safe, for the level of our knowledge, I think it's really safe for you to stick with the phrase in olden days. So olden days, I think I would have been a mom of seven. Right. Selling me ways on the side of the street.

Selling you ways? What are you selling? A prostitute. A mother of seven prostitute oh god almighty oh jesus Nancy it's a fine life

if you can't help a mother of seven a mother of seven prostitute In olden days Do you not just think you Do you not just think

You want to sing Do you not just think That you're from a time Where you imagine people Spontaneously burst into song But that's actually Never happened in the world I would love that

Of course you would I would love that But no I just mean I just always think I don't know You feel an affinity when you say anything like that and you think you lived then?

Possibly, yeah. Wow. I don't want to think I was rich. You picked mother of seven and prostitute. Like, do you know when, when people are like

on these documentaries and stuff for like living in the past, there were always kings and generals. And you thought you were a fucking prostitute mother of seven aim high I just don't think I would have been rich

I wouldn't like to have been oh yes I was Louis the 40th or I was Napoleon I was with seven kids that I neglected while I was out on the game drinking out of tongue and singing has anyone ever said that

everyone who thinks I had a past life thought I was famous what do you think you were I don't think anyone thinks it's bollocks

I don't think I was anything do you not feel an affinity to any is that right like no

if you watch something do you not think like that's what I mean I just feel like that honestly I've leveled up you've leveled up

alright yeah fucking hell especially when it comes to the print the amount of prints you had in your old house past me

would never have that many prints wouldn't have that many walls cars on the table if anything I reckon I was probably a dog really yeah I reckon I was probably a dog

for real yeah if reincarnation is a thing and life's a thing I would honestly I think I was probably a dog why I don't think If reincarnation is a thing and life's a thing I would honestly I think I was probably a dog.

Why? I don't know. I don't think you can be an animal. Oh sorry you've just implied some rules on this so you can be

you can be someone any human from the past but you can't be an animal. Fair enough you can if I suppose. Right. I reckon I'd have been a dog.

Right. What kind? Labrador was the first thing that came to my head. Absolutely not. You're joking us. Don't you dare. You're not cute enough to be a Labrador. How dare you? came to my head absolutely not you're joking don't you dare you're not cute enough

to be a Labrador how dare you would have been here we go a schnauzer is that right a schnauzer a schnauzer

what they're called a schnauzer I don't know I don't know what you're trying to say that's a dog a kind of dog a schnauzer

a little ones they've got a little beard yes alright okay that would be you yeah yeah yeah schnauzer Jack Russell oh I'd have been a Jack Russell I just like I take my favourite thing about dogs yes They've got a little beard? Mm-hmm, yes. All right, okay. That's been, that'll be you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jack Russell. Oh, I'd have been a Jack Russell. I just like, I take my favourite thing about dogs. Yes. You know when they find somewhere to lie down but then they walk around in circles three or four times and then they finally lie down.

Love it. Can't get enough of it. Why? Well, I don't understand. I just think it's great. Do you know what I mean? When they go and find the ground to lie here and they pad around

but then they walk around in a circle once or twice then they lie down. Right. I'll just see a dog and I'll go, ah, yeah, me and you are on the same wavelength yeah do you also love it

when they drag their arse along the carpet honestly yeah loved it when they do that you ever had an itchy arse and thought I wish I could just

fucking go is this your thing now do you want to do it ankles around me ears pulling myself along with me hands really getting them

carpet fibres up me ring piece would be looks like it would be nice imagine that I mean I love a scratch but heavens above fantastic babadoo babadoo babadoo back it's time for questions from carpet fibres up my ring piece. It would be nice. Imagine that. I mean, I love a scratch, but Tevin's above. Fantastic.

It's time for questions from the public. Questions from the public. Public. Public. Guys, always, always remember, do not forget, shaggedmarriedannoyed at gmail.com. If you're sitting there thinking,

I haven't sent them something, I think this will be perfect, just send it in. Send it in. Get it sent in. Get it in. Shove it in. If you don't know your, stop that. If you don't know your centuries, don't sent them something. I think this will be perfect. Just send it in. So get it in. Send it in. Get it in. Shove it in. If you don't know your,

stop that. If you don't know your centuries, don't worry about it. Look, none of us know our centuries. Just send it in. Doesn't matter. What did we just say

in the little break then? Yeah. You're the first person who's ever explained that to me properly and now it's fully cemented in my brain so now I know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I am,

sometimes, I'm glad I could have helped. No, but sometimes, I do feel a little bit thick and I don have helped. No, but sometimes I do feel a little bit thick, and I don't think I am, but sometimes I just think, I think things like that, and like the Roman numerals,

it's confusing. Yeah. It is confusing. And honestly, I just wanted to be a pop star when I was younger. I did not take anything in at all. I didn't take in, I didn't listen,

because I thought, I don't need to know this, Mrs. Hay. Because I'm going to be a pop star. Because I'm going to be a pop star. Because I'm going to be a pop star. Wow. But that never happened, so now I'm learning. Well, you've sung at the O2 in Wembley, so.

See? Honestly. Not a pop star. No, but still. Categorically, not a pop star. Still, though. Hot a star. A star.

A star. You're an asteroid at best. I was just telling Chris I did history for GCSE yeah do you know what I got what

E E E yeah I didn't listen at all sorry wow I'd love to have seen the question when I ask about the centuries

and you're like well look I just what's the one I think I lived in like the one with like prostitutes and kids and that was me like Les Miserables that was me

yeah Les Mis that's why I like Les Miserables, that was me. Yeah, Les Miserables. That's why I like Les Miserables so much. Right. You ready? Yeah. Hi, Rosie and Chris. Are there any strange little things you do or say,

even just to yourself, that you worry would get you into bother if anyone heard? Ooh. There's an example here. Okay. Okay. Mine started with the fact

I use a menstrual cup. I went to order one the other day, actually. I went to order one, and it wouldn't accept my card details, and I felt like it was a sign for me not to use one. What is a menstrual cup? So it's like a little, we've talked about it before, it's a little plastic cup that you put inside of your vagina I thought they were

called moon cups that's the brand there is other menstrual cups available oh god moon cup I mean hey listen

they've done a good job though haven't they oh yeah because I didn't I thought you thought they were the only ones no

up there with hoover and tannoy well done everyone yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm not even bothered that they've had

a free advertising. You can have it. Mooncup you can have your free advertising. Not to be not to be mixed up with moonpig.com Right.

So. Yeah. Mooncup periods moonpig birthdays. Good. No one was getting

them confused but thank you for clearing that up anyway. Fair enough. Good. So. She uses a menstrual cup. How big is this cup? Is it like a mug? No. It's tiny. Fair enough. Good. So. She uses a menstrual cup. How big is this cup?

Is it like a mug? No. It's tiny. Like an egg cup? Bit smaller. I watched a video. Just, the only reason I know

is because I watched one last week when I tried to order one three times and it wouldn't let it work. Wouldn't work, wouldn't take my card details so I was like, look it,

I'm not trying again. So I'm on my period currently and I'm using a tampon whereas I could have been using a menstrual cup so it's tiny little typical bloke

I do get a bit upset when you talk about these things what size is it is it the size of a thimble no bigger than that so it's in between

a thimble and a let's say a small egg cup right the top of the egg cup why don't we say the lid of a deodorant tin yes right a little bit smaller but yes okay what you do to put it in you fold it up and you put it in and then it opens up inside of your vagina and it like suctions to the inside of that hole right and then it collects

all of the blood so when you take it out so you have it in for like four to eight hours or whatever. Maybe just four hours. I don't know. Didn't really listen that hard. And then you take it out. It's got a little pole on the end that you can cut to the size you want. It depends on how deep your hole is.

Fucking hell. And so you find that. Oh my God. And then you, no, then you kind of, so like you get rid of the suction. So you put it together with your hands and then you pull it out.

Then you empty it and you rinse it out and then you put it back in. I And then you pull it out Then you empty it And you rinse it out And then you put it back in I'm desperate to try one I'm guessing they're better for the environment Much better for the environment So she's using a menstrual cup And I'm glad that we got that described

I'm going to try What? I'll try I'll try again Order one Right And then I will give a real review On here

Look forward to finding out Which awful places around the house Rosie has left her dirty menstrual cup. A. On top of the toilet. B. Next to the sink. C. On the office fucking desk. Or D. All of the above.

It's going to be messy like. E. In the fridge. It's going to, yeah. It's already messy at the minute. When I pull my tampon out there's blood all over the floor. Drift. Drift april shower i wipe it up though you've never seen it have you yes i've seen it plenty of times have you yes anyway i'm not apologizing you just did well i take it back because you don't have to have i accept your apology the bane of my life you're the bane of my life yes we know the bane of my life. Yes, we know. So anyway, listen.

Mine start with the fact I use, thank you for that, a menstrual cup. Not going to evangelise about them. Right. My issue is that every time I empty it, my stupid brain says, there's been a murder. That's absolutely fucking brilliant. I am fully on board with that

fully on board with that every time she takes it out and empties it down the sink she says there's been a murder that's fantastic and I love that and she says

she's not Scottish excellent even better she hasn't seen Taggart since she was about 14 fantastic please keep me anonymous is there anything that you say every time you do it all kinds of stuff Excellent, even better. She hasn't seen Taggart since she was about 14. Fantastic. Please keep me anonymous.

Is there anything that you say every time you do it? All kinds of stuff. I say them out loud. I say things out loud. So if I remember something and I've done something embarrassing or whatever, I'll just randomly... Honestly, inside my head, it's like a busy shopping centre.

There's loads going on constantly. It's crazy. I've started... I've noticed every time I pick Rafe up, you know, do you remember the song? Everybody was kung fu fighting. Ha, ha-cha.

Yeah, yeah. I pick him up and I go, ha, and then in my brain I go, ha-cha. Every time. From the floor, I kind of go,

ha, ha-cha. That's good. That's a good one. Lightning. Ha, ha-cha. I can't think of one that I do with the top of my head. What we said was beg your puddin'. That's awful.

You still do that. I say beg your puddin'. I've also, I've started, your mum, have I said this on the podcast? Your mum walks, she's got a little vocal tick that she does that she's passed on to me. She walks around the house doing things and I just hear her, she's doing certain things and I just hear her go, and I've started doing it with my things. I just hear her. She's doing certain things. I just hear her go, mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. And I start doing it in my head. I'll do something. I'll put something away. I'll put a thing on. I'll put something in the cupboard and I go, mm-hmm. Like, that's done. You know why my mum does that?

Why? That's years of having three children who talk all the time. She just goes, mm-hmm. That's why she does it. That's why she does it. She's done it to me since I was a kid. My whole entire life was,

mum, are you yeah I mean I'm quite I mean I don't say it out loud but a lot of the time if I'm turning something off especially if I'm turning it off

at the plug I will say fuck you what are you doing yeah so I'm clicking something off it's like fuck you like it's a real do you know what I mean really

yeah so mainly the TV in the kitchen because I've got when the for some reason it just decides it hasn't got internet anymore. It just goes, you've got no internet? It goes, you tell it, it's you. We have got internet.

My phone's on the internet. So you've got to click it off at the thing, and I'll just, fuck you, and I'll turn it back on. All right, okay. Obviously, I can't say it out loud because the children are there, but yeah, just know when I'm turning something off, I'm very angry. But I don't say it out loud.

Fuck you. Good. So there you go. Yeah, nice. And also, when I'm sitting having a poo, it all comes out i all scream internally why does everyone leave me uh but we all do that don't we no hi rosie and chris just a quick one this is definitely worse than finding chewing gum in your food right remember last week we talked about the curry with the it's chinese yeah chinese sorry um this is gonna have to be good because finding chewing gum in your food. Right. Remember last week we talked about the curry? It was Chinese, yeah. Chinese, sorry.

With chewing gum in. This is going to have to be good, because finding chewing gum is absolutely the worst. Something that someone's chewed around in their slavery mouth for the whole time. We'll see if this is worse. We'll see if this is worse. Right.

Okay. When I was younger, I was eating a yoghurt. A yoghurt. Yoghurt. Yoghurt. For everyone listening who wasn't fucking dragged up. Yoghurt. It was a smooth yoghurt. Smooth yoghurt. Yogurt for everyone listening who wasn't fucking dragged up. Yogurt. It was a smooth yogurt.

Smooth yogurt. So I was horrified when I came across something chewy. To my horror, it was a contact lens. Oh, that. Is that worse? No. No. But it's still horrible.

I find it a bit more sinister. Yes, but with a contact lens, if there was some way of absolutely knowing that it would definitely be in someone's eye, then yeah, that is pretty bad. Like chewing loads of eye gunk. Oh, sorry. Well, find out where they made the yogurt

if it's in the same factory as the contact lenses. It's definitely been in someone's eye. Oh, right, so you think it's fell out. Fell out of their eye. Oh, that's rotten, that. Like a little tiny little minging bit of plastic. Oh, cri, so you think it's fell out. Fell out of their eye. Oh, that's rotten, that. Like a little tiny little minging bit of plastic. Oh, crikey.

Grim, innit? Yeah, I don't like that at all. Put off yoghurts for life. Okay, that's up there, yeah. Oh, really? She was put off yoghurts for life? Yeah. Oh, that's a shame.

I know. Well, you would be. Awful, aren't they? I'm going to try and not think about that now. It's going to be my new race. You've got a couple of crunch corners in the fridge.

Does Robin not like them ones? Rosie. What? Why are you telling everyone on a public medium that You've got a couple of crunch corners in the fridge. Does Robin not like them ones? Rosie. What? Why are you telling everyone on a public medium that I've got a couple of crunch corners? We're going to get burgled. What are you? Are you fucking?

What are you doing? How reckless telling the nation that I've got not one, but two crunch corners in my fridge. Guys, she was joking. There is no crunch. Don't come. Don't come to the house. There is no crunch corners in our fridge. I think she was joking there is no crunch don't come don't come to the house there is no crunch

corners in our fridge I think I think Robin Robin people think we're posh now you know because I had a jack

potato with prawns on and everyone was like oh aye posh I was like prawns Rosie I stopped putting my food on the internet

a long time ago everyone's all two worst things two worst things to put a picture of food on the internet right Sunday dinner or full English breakfast every fucking prick in a long time ago. Everyone's all, two worst things, two worst things to put a picture of food on the internet, right? Sunday dinner

or full English breakfast. Every fucking prick has got in a pain. Oh, not enough bacon there. Why, your beans touching your egg? Oh, because I'm not a fucking child. They can touch me egg. Oh my God.

I know. Two Yorkshires. There's too many Yorkshires. Yorkshire's too big. Where's the fucking gravy? Oh, shut up I know yeah

don't let people it gets really weird though doesn't it because people comment like oh I hate prawns I like cheese brilliant yeah yeah

thanks for getting in touch that's eh I'm so glad that I know that I remember once I think I put a bacon sandwich on I did I put a photo of some I think I put a photo of some bacon

grilling yeah because I was like I've got to hang over I'm going to you know apply bacon did put a photo of some, I think I put a photo of some bacon grilling. Yeah. Because I was like, I've got to hang up. I'm going to, you know, apply bacon to the problem or something like that. I was saying.

And a mate text us, me mate, Sean, literally text us going, fucking monkey grilled bacon, like. And I was texting back, going, well, it's not for you, is it, you prick? Texting us?

I was like, like, you see it on Instagram. I thought, I'm not even going to comment. I'm going to have to. I'm going to go straight to the sauce. Ding dong Hello Sean Just come round to tell you

Grilled bacon fucking monkey Alright nice Thanks for popping over Sean See you later mate All the best Oh listen I don't want to get too much into it But you know what is monkey What

Microwave bacon You can microwave bacon Yes I've known people in the past I know some people Who just use microwaves for everything You can microwave bacon Right

And it's absolutely grotesque it's just like it's been warmed up you can microwave bacon oh we were watching Louis Theroux last night

yeah he knew hello I'm Louis from the BBC Louis from the BBC we were watching Louis from the BBC last night

and he went to see that the woman who was involved in the right wing thing and she made him a cup of tea and it showed you a microwave in it.

That's what Americans do. I nearly smashed the tea. Have you not seen the video? Oh, that woman who did the eggs and that. No, when she's making a cup of tea. I know who she is

or the blonde woman. She did the eggs and she did it. I thought she was a troll. I thought she was doing it on purpose to piss people off. We've got American listeners and I think

they don't have kettles. Do they have kettles? I don't know if they've got kettles. They've got coffee machines and stuff. Do they have kettles? They might not have kettles. Emailing. Do Americans have kettles. Do they have kettles? I don't know if they've got kettles. They've got coffee machines and stuff. Do they have kettles? They might not have kettles. Emailing.

Do Americans have kettles? They've got to have kettles. Is this the stupidest question? Chris, we cannot put on this public medium that we don't think Americans have kettles. We're going to get cancelled. Literally, we've knackered ourselves. Vote now.

Is this the most ignorant question ever? Do Americans have kettles? Email in and tell. Are you American? Have you seen a kettle? Now, do you know what I'm doing now? I'm trying to think back of every episode of Real Housewives that I've watched. Tell you what.

To see if they've got a kettle on their counter. I've seen so many episodes of Friends, and I've never seen a kettle on any of the counters in Friends. Not in Joey's apartment, not in Monica's apartment. No, because if they have a cup of coffee, it's usually in a filter. They have filtered coffee. They have the machine thing, yeah. and I've never seen a kettle on any of the counters in Friends. In Joey's apartment, not Monica's apartment. No, because if they have a cup of coffee, it's usually in a filter. They have filtered coffee.

They have the machine thing, yeah. Shit, doesn't it? Don't think Americans have kettles. Oh, so they wait for water, like pasta water. They wait for it to get hot and then bam! Am I going to have to Google, do Americans have kettles? Google's going to be like,

we are sending the police to your location now. You need help. This is horrific. I'm so sorry, American listeners. This is horrendous. So I typed in, do Americans have, to Google. And there's a couple of kettles.

The top one's kettles. Right, okay, well listen. Unless me laptop's heard us here, the top one's kettles, accents, Christmas crackers, culture. Wow. Boxing day. Do Americans have kettles?

Come on then. Americans don't use electric kettles. Or at least it's very rare this is unlike britain where electric kettles are standard for boiling water americans mostly use stove top kettles the kettle is filled with water then heated on a gas or electric stove right so right okay we're not complete ignoramuses many americans do not have kettles in their homes there you go So she heated the water up in the microwave. And the fuss of boiling water, yeah, on the stove doesn't seem worth the faff.

Wow. Wow. A lot of time on their hands, Americans. Wow. Clearly. I am so impatient that I cannot put, do you know in a recipe, so say with rice sometimes, it's like boil the water add

and then say like on the stove on the on the stove on the grill or what's it called man the hob on the hob

right I'm getting all mixed up with all of these different places on the hob and it says bring bring water

boil the water on the grill did you just say boil the grill your water to 200 degrees you know what it says bring to the boil

yeah yeah yeah and I'm like there'll be no bringing to the boil I'll fill the kettle I'll boil the kettle and I'll put it in the pan because I'm not waiting

a minute and a half or whatever it is I totally agree do you know what I mean I totally agree I mean we've gone we've gone from having a boiler tap

which was pure luxury yeah to now back to using a kettle which i'm very upset about um first of all um well i totally agree with you also when it's like preheat your oven i'm like it's gone in like the pizza's going in i had an extra five minutes it can heat up yeah it can heat up with the oven yeah i'm not i'm not turning the oven on and then coming back when it's hot no it's going on the pizza's going in you get pissed off with me because if i know i'm making tea and you're walking past the kitchen i'll be like turn the oven on yeah like 20 minutes before yeah and you're like oh and i'm like no but it does have to heat up but you know what i have the main problem with um you know like you've cooked a lasagna or bolognese or something like a ready-made one

you've cooked a ready-made meal and it's like like, get out of the oven and allow it to stand. But I'm not, excuse me, excuse me, don't tell me how to live my life. I'm not allowing that to stand for one minute. I think you're fine.

I'm going to pour it straight out of a plate. I'm going to throw it in my mouth and I'm going to complain about blisters in my mouth for the next three days. Don't you dare tell me to wait one minute before

high and molten food into my face because it's not happening, mate. Don't tell me I'll live my life do you know what pisses me off what for best results

oven cook I've got 45 minutes have I yeah I've got three and a half minutes peel back stir and then one minute more

shut up babadoo babadoo babadoo bab hi Rosie and Chris a long time listener first time emailer Lovely Came to the podcast late

So I'm going back and forwards Between new and old episode It is really weird To hear you talking about Ray For one minute And then going back To before he was born Oh wow

Oh Me bee bee Can't imagine him Not being here now Can you? No no I cannot remember life Without that little snot bag

Snot bag Oh he's just, isn't he so lovely. He's so kind. I don't want to gush about with kids too much because honestly, I'm up a height with them and they get on me tits, but when they're in bed and they're lying there, I'm just like, I bloody love you two so much. When they're unconscious, I absolutely

love them. Well, I had a moment and I thanked the universe. You're meant to say thank you to the universe every now and again. I've read The Secret. If you believe in that shit. Yeah, anyway. And I was on the way back from South Shields to our house. And Rafe was asleep and Robin was watching the iPad because I put the iPad in the car because it's a long journey. You're a terrible parent.

Don't give a shit. And I sat and looked in my rearview mirror and I was just like, thank you. I love these two. And then 20 minutes later, we got home and I was shouting at the door. I do love them. Well, there we go. How are you?

Just dead quickly. No, just dead quickly. One thing. Last night, I've got a picture of it. Robin went to bed with gloves on. You know this, don't you? Yeah, that was weird, wasn't it? Went to bed.

So I told him to go and get his... We went in the hot tub and I told him to go and get his we went in the hot tub and I told him to go and get his pyjamas on and he put socks boxer shorts a long sleeve t-shirt

and a pair of gloves on pair of gloves and he said the connect with me clothes I think he meant the go well with me clothes but this is the kid who will not wear trousers

won't wear a coat I've had to buy him a gilet just to so I feel like at least his kidneys are getting some sort of warmth right will not be warm but he'll wear fucking gloves for bed just so I feel like at least his kidneys are getting some sort of warmth right

will not be warm but he'll wear fucking gloves for bed yeah he's a crazy boy I think he's just trying to make wine meal I swear to god it'll be snowing

or it'll be minus 6 degrees outside and I'll be like put your gloves on walk into school put your gloves on no never put your gloves on

right be cold don't give a shit wears them to go to bed yeah he's doing it deliberately and he's trying to wind me up right be cold don't give a shit wears them to go to bed yeah he's whining he's doing it deliberately

and he's trying to whine me up yeah that's it anyway this so that was just a counteract the gushing about the kids

anyway I've been listening to the episodes where Chris talks about Sandra's presence to him and it reminded me of a story my friend told me

back in high school high school. High school? That's in American. Have that wonderful cocktail. Alright Zach. Oh that's, I know I keep

talking about the kids all the time but Robin watches so much YouTube that he calls it a garage. He said garage today while playing

on roadblocks. He said garage. I went no, no, no, no, no. He said trash yesterday. I know. He said garbage and trash. He said granda bill. What have we done to our kids? The context, just letting you know the context. He said garage. I went, no, no, no, no, no. He said trash yesterday. I know. He said garbage and trash. He said, Granda Bill, my dad.

What have we done to our kids? The context, just letting you know the context. He said, Granda Bill, pumped, and it smelled like garbage. It smelled like garbage. It smelled like trash. It was quite funny. Right. Him and his family had been to visit his grandparents

and discovered that they were trying to eat their dinner in front of the TV, but didn't have any trays, and were therefore trying to balance the plates on their laps. Nightmare. To not much success. They decided that they would buy them each a lap tray, one that has a bean bag on the bottom so it sits nicely. I know the ones you mean.

Yes. I haven't got one. I'd love one of them, actually. Okay. Christmas. Remember. Just order one I'm not

it's it's February what the hell's the matter with you me birthday August Mother's Day Mother's Day March

just fucking buy one can I just have a can I have a gift that I actually would like can I have it for Mother's Day oh god you're not even here on Mother's Day. I'm not.

No, I'm going. I'm in Aberdeen. Couple of tickets there. Take him out. It's a perfect Mother's Day gift. Right, so they haven't got a tray and he's thinking, I'm going to buy them a beanbag tray.

Who is this, by the way? Have you missed out a bit or was I just not listening? It's this guy's friend. It's the guy's friend. From school. From high school. And he's gone where?

Sorry, what? Where's he gone? Is he spraying? He's gone where? His grandparents. Grandparents, there we okay. And he's gone where? Sorry, what? Where's he gone? Is he spraying? He's gone where? Grandparents. Grandparents, there we go. Yeah. So he's going to get them bean bags.

Yeah, yeah. They weren't able to deliver it personally, so they got it ordered to their grandparents' house by courier. Okay? Wow. They hadn't heard from them that it had been delivered, so they gave their grandma a call, who confirmed that it had been delivered, and it their grandma a call who confirmed that it had been delivered and it was lovely the next time they went to visit his grandma made his dinner

and gave it to him to eat on the sofa as they always do he asked if he could have a lap tray to eat it from to which his grandma said they didn't have one or know what he was talking about so what had happened to the lap trays they had sent and had confirmed by his grandma that they had received? Well, it turns out that when his grandma had received the tray, she had thought that the bean bag attached to the tray was in fact packaging for safekeeping during the delivery. So, she had cut that off and binned it. She went on to explain to her grandson that she thought that they had sent two lovely framed pictures. She had cut the beanbag packaging off both

and attached them to the wall in her bedroom as decorative pictures. attach them to the wall in their bedroom as decorative pictures that's absolutely great that is great it's a nice little story oh bless her oh that's so lovely useless fucking me that reminds me of her it says here so i wanted to find out have you ever been given or gifted a present to someone that was completely misunderstood well not a present or a gift but I remember when

my mum and dad and I knew they were going to do it and I don't know why I didn't say it I gave my mum and dad when they had one of the kids it must have been Robin I gave him

a bottle of Calpol and so everyone here all parents you will know you get that sort of plastic syringe thing so you take the lid off the Calpol or the ibuprofen for kids or whatever

and it's got the plastic thing with the perfect little hole in the top where you bump the syringe and turn it around genius, genius, my dad took the lid off and went, oh look he just looked at it in a fluster like he always does and went, oh the lid's come off, it's still in there he fucking went and got like

what they're called, thin nose pliers and ragged it out and nearly smashed the whole bottle and spilled Calpol all over the floor and then proceeded to put the syringe down into the bottle and suck it out. And I was like, he was like, oh yeah, I had to pull that off. It was broke.

I went, well, that's... I know. That's the housing for putting the... About parents. Yeah. So how come we knew that, but they didn't know that so the first time

I've used a cow part I've gone oh right right yeah okay nobody's told us I've just I've worked it out

how come they don't work it out my mum's the same are we gonna be like that I don't know we are aren't we babadoo babadoo babadoo bah doo doo doo doo doo doo

well I don't know about you but that has cheered me right up. Cheered me right up as well. Thanks, everyone. Thank you for listening. Thank you so much for listening. This week's episode of Shag My Annoyed, which is part of the Acast Creator Network.

Yes, it is. And we'll be back in your ears next week. Thank you so much, guys. Bye. Have a lovely week. Bye. You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway,

the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Gimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece symphony exploder april 5th at roy thompson hall for tickets visit tso.ca rock city you're the best fans in the league bar none tickets are on sale now for fan appreciation night on saturday april 13th when the toronto rock hosts the rochester nighthawks at first ontario center in hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now

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