Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 158. These boots aren’t made for walking

Episode Date: March 11, 2022

Chris and Rosie return with their (National Comedy Award Winning) podcast and share their mishaps from the night. They answer all the big questions such as - is there more doors or wheels in the world? The beefs are juicy and the QFTP's involve a camera phone, an acrobatic role and some playground shenanigans. Enjoy! Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Gimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder. April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit TSO.ca. This Friday. You must be very careful, Margaret. It's a girl.

Witness the birth. Bad things will start to happen. Evil things. Of evil. It's all. No, don't. The first omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother.

Mother of what? Is the most terrifying... 666 is the mark of the devil. Movie of the year. It's not real. It's not real. Who said that? The First Omen. In theaters Friday.

Gets it gets now. Hello, you're listening to Shag Married Annoyed. The award winning Shag Marriedanoid. The award-winning Shag Maridanoid. Yes, sorry. National Comedy Award winning. Shag Maridanoid is what Rosie was trying to say. Yes. Well done.

And thank you all for voting. Thank you so much. Thank you so, so much. We forgot to thank you on the day because we were too excited. We didn't think we were going to win. No. But everyone else planned their speeches and if we get nominated for anything else

I'm planning a speech because we look like bumbling buffoons we'll lose we'll lose I know you said that don't plan your speech don't plan your speech

Chris I told you I loved you on stage it was extremely embarrassing oh husband her wife telling her her husband that she loved oh boo

did you notice though did all of you notice he didn't say it back, did you? No, not in front of everyone. Left us pure hanging. Not in front of everyone. In front of everyone. So embarrassing.

But anyway, thank you for voting and thank you. We're absolutely chuffed to bits with it. Cock a hoop. Cock a hoop. We've got tree surgeons here today cutting some trees down, trimming some trees out.

They said well done on it. I took it outside and showed them. Yeah, you went and showed them all. Were I impressed? It's heavy. It is heavy. Not as heavy as a tree. because you said it might be made out of brass is that not quite expensive to make something out of brass i think so all the door handles in me old house were brass were they which house me mom well my old house the house i grew up in my mom

and dad's house they had brass door handles i think so i think brass it was a new house it was a new build they were like you know when it looks gold but it's not gold you go it's shiny it looks gold you go it's definitely not gold brass is the next one down in it oh i don't know i don't see this is what i'm saying i thought brass was quite expensive maybe it's not right to answer your question in a quicker way no we can't melt it down for money right okay it's not going to be worth anything right it's not gonna be worth a single thing um but yeah uh so thank you everyone again for voting big love big love to Acast

for being our home and big love to the people at Bedford because I had to go and they did they did 300 shots 300 apple sours 300 apple sours

yeah nice so there we go it was a good little night you were so upset about leaving weren't you I was devastated the high of being in there with all the people

we saw Jamie Dimitriou from Stafflets Flats we saw loads of other people but we're particularly excited becauseou from Stafflets Flats we saw loads of other people but we're particularly excited because we love Stafflets Flats we were so fucking excited to see Jamie he was like

I was like mate hiya I'm Chris he was like I know who you are he was like Chris I know exactly who you are and I was like this is my wife

he was like I know we love Stafflets Flats I was like we've come to say hello before we get really pissed because we make fools out of ourselves oh he was so lovely

but yeah I was seeing everyone, you know, industry, all the people I've ever worked with back in the room, so excited. A few drinks, I had like three beers

and I was like, oh, then they were like, the podcast awards first and what I am, because on the night it was first, but it changed

on the recordings, just the lies of telly. And then, yay, and then we won it and I was like, yay. And then Harry Hill

was like, well done and Matt Lucas was like, well done and Joel Domet took a photo and he's like,

well done and then I jumped in the car and I was like Bedford please and I sat there for an hour and 40 in my suit on my own in the car

with the fucking award I partied enough for you and I had a bloody lovely time honestly Mrs. Steeman I was on the way back from my gig

and I phoned you and I was like I hope I haven't woke her up I'm sitting next to Carl in the van I'm like I hope I haven't woke her up

here hello hello I can't hear her up yet hello hello you and Mickey Flanagan weren't allowed into the after party that was fun

that was fun watching me management Daisy who edits the podcast and that all just swanned in and then they

were like your names aren't on the list I was like I won one of them Mickey Flanagan what's going on here

you and Mickey Flanagan not allowed in I did feel a bit better that he wasn't on as well. That is pretty cool. Because I was like, if I hadn't been on,

I'd be like, oh great, come on then. But he wasn't on either, so I was like, oh well. But Rosie had with her the envelope

that Aisling B had opened and said who would win. So you literally showed them that, didn't you? You're like, my name's not on, but look at this envelope, I won.

So embarrassing. Oh well, very good and we're dead but look at this envelope. It didn't have my name on it. So embarrassing. Oh, well, very good. And we're dead happy and thank you again. It was mint. It was absolutely mint. My toe's still numb, though, off my shoes. Yes. That's annoying.

You wore some shoes. You bought some nice shoes. Well, I bought some posh shoes. The posh shoes with the red soles on the bottom. Because I've never had a pair in my life. And I thought, you know what? I'm nominated for a bloody comedy award. I'm going to wear them.

Wore them in the knackered. And I'm gutted. And I'm never buying again she looks like does anyone any skaters out there any rollerbladers can you remember when they brought out

soap shoes and you could grind on curbs with these shoes because they had a plastic bit in the middle she looks like she's been grinding on curbs and handrails I'm just so sad about it because

I thought I'll buy these shoes and then I'll pass them down it's absolutely disgusting well you are passing them down you're passing them to your kate who's got i am i'm giving them to kate well actually i mean i've said this to kate and now i'm a bit gutted because somebody i know sent us a website where you can actually get them fixed so they might like i don't know if they paint them back on or spray them or something so if you're listening kate hard lines listen sucks to be you uh get

yourself a primark get yourself a pair of pumps because you're not getting these. Got some red paint left over. Great. Great. So everyone's a winner, really, apart from Kate. But it's just stuff that owns you.

Sorry, Kate. Love you. Love you so much, but they're getting fixed. Doesn't stuff own you, though? Yeah. Tyler Durden. As Tyler Durden says in Fight Club,

the stuff you own ends up owning you. Yeah. I'm never doing it again. I'm not doing it again. Moral of the story, don't buy nice stuff. I'm not. yeah Tyler Durden as Tyler Durden says in Fight Club the stuff you own ends up owning you yeah I'm never doing it again yeah moral of the story don't buy nice stuff I'm not I'm not anymore

I'm not do you know what though because I'd rather just have a cheaper pair of shoes and just be like oh I can have a good night yeah cheaper pair of shoes

and maybe your name on the list to get into the party that would be nice wouldn't it yeah honestly oh you're not coming in oh these shoes are expensive

hard lines love and they're a fucking mess where you been I hear a clip where you been in them? Paintballing? Because I had to walk, that's why. You had to walk?

Oh, heaven forbid. In the shoes. Cracking them, like. So let's get this straight. The shoes you... I didn't want to wear them. I didn't want to walk in them. I wanted to just turn up, you know, sit down.

What were you going to do? What were you going to do? Fucking levitate all night? I took some... You know that I took some flatter shoes in your bag. Who took some flatter shoes in the bag? You put them in your bag. Me.

I wore them down to get in the taxi. From the hotel, I wore the flat shoes to get in the taxi and I put the posh shoes on to get out. Got a picture taken on the red carpety bit, did the awards and then I was like, right, where's the after show thing?

And I might just be upstairs. Oh no, it's a bloody half a mile flip and walk up the road. And I was like, well, the shoes aren't that bad. So the expensive shoes you bought aren't for walking in

no literally these boots aren't made for walking in absolutely not so you bought an expensive pair of shoes that made your toe go numb that hurt

that aren't really good that aren't good for walking in because they'll break if you walk in them and you got from the hotel you wore your flat shoes and had the nice ones in a bag to travel down the stairs

through the hotel lobby to the taxi to then change them to walk in and then you've got that why would you possibly do that

because they were really expensive fucking idiot you're so mental now they're all men that's why you say lasses with scruffy soles of their feet

after nights out because they carry their shoes oh that's just because your feet hurt you've said this before me you've said that

women dress for women they don't dress for men absolutely you're only need to have a meeting and go oh slip ass and tracksuit pants

class we should really get all the women together stop wearing stupid stuff that hurts you what is the point because as a man it's really irritating

to have to live with well do you not like being in a pair of heels then yeah I mean I never really noticed I never really noticed great

great oh is that bad, is it? Don't even... So did you not notice that I had nice shoes on and I looked nice? Did you not notice? I noticed you looked nice. I noticed you looked nice. But you looked nice when you left the hotel in the flat shoes.

No, I didn't. I looked like a little mom in her dramas. I looked like a little pixie in a pair of silk dramas going to a national comedy. I looked flipping stupid. Right, okay. No, I did not. I do not look good in flat shoes. I'm five foot one.

Right, okay. I look stupid. Right, okay. I don't feel dressed. It doesn't finish off the outfit. Right, right. Okay. Yeah.

Well, I can't say that myself. Heels are lovely. I love heels, but you know, they do hurt you by the end of the night. You just can't just put it. It's a rite of passage. I've walked from South Shields Town Centre to King George Road where I used to live about 4 miles that is it?

4 miles, 3, 4 miles no it's not, it's about 2 nah nah well anyway I've done that without shoes on without shoes on? yeah yeah that just proves my point

what? that just proves my point that you've done it without shoes on if you'd done it with shoes on you would have proved you've just proved my point what point was I trying to prove? I don't know you've just proved that you're done it without shoes on if you've done it with shoes on you would have proved you would have proved yourself you've just proved what point was i trying to prove i don't know you just i've just you've proved that you're stupid and you carry the i mean that's i mean happy

national international women's day everyone oh shit i'm getting called stupid hey men are stupid as well but not today oh hey listen no we're not we're just

we're not stupid I love being a woman and I love wearing high heels but they really hurt by the end of the night it's almost like they look lovely

but stop interrupting us on International Women's Day will you oh sorry listen this podcast is this not recording

yeah it is recording one of me headphones has just gone quiet and I got a fright. Oh, good. It's somebody up above. Do you think it's the women? I don't know.

It might be Mother Teresa literally looking down going, shut him up. Mother Teresa? Is she in control of International Women's Day? Maybe. But today, listen,

actually, I'm going to put this out now. International Women's Day. Yeah. Today, I cannot be wrong on the podcast so that you don't get a beef today right

just made this up okay alright alright I tell you what I tell you what yeah okay in reaction

to saying a terrible thing about the fairer species we all know that you're joking I'm obviously joking but look in reaction to saying something terrible

and forgetting that it was International Women's Day and I'm not going to go on Instagram and put a photo of you and saying how brilliant women are. I wouldn't expect it. I don't do it for your birthday. Much as I would love it. I don't do it for your birthday. That's just to do it now so it's

cheap. And plus if International Women's Day, if you say it after midday, you're the fool. Is that so? Just like April Fool's? Oh no, I'm getting that mixed up with April Fool's Day. Stop! so just like April Fool's oh no I'm getting that mixed up with April Fool's Day stop stop I'm stopping you now

you will dig yourself a hole I'll just fix it all now it is time for this week's lucrative lucrative sponsor this week's sponsor is women hey are you a man bad

don't be women this week's sponsor is women yeah hey yeah super cool on the great awesome awesome is that it is it yeah brilliant phenomenal they are oh there's me thinking you might say something nice about your mom and me and, you know. Can I pick one of yours? Yeah. So my mum. No, go on, say something lovely about your mum. No, you don't want to roll at me. No, I'll say it, I'll say it.

Do you know what it is? I've got a line in my show where I've got a line in my stand. Yeah, she's brilliant. I've got it punctual, very punctual. You're horrible. I'm joking. We've got two sons. If my sons can't speak nicely about me... And don't I constantly teach our sons respect

for their mother and for women? You do. Constantly. Yeah, but seriously, aside, your sponsor aside, I bloody love being a woman. I've got... I'm surrounded by amazing women in my life.

Yeah. And I just... Genuinely, all of our listeners, men included, because I love you as well, but happy International Women's Day. Love yous all lots. Keep doing what you're doing. Mothering, working, working, mothering, all of it.

Everything in between. And yeah, power to the people, if that's what you say. Have I got a present? For what? International Women's Day. Is it a present thing? No, it's not. It's really not. Nice. Don't cheapen International Women's Day with it a present thing no it's not it's really not

nice don't cheapen International Women's Day with presents listen yeah we'll have a little break now play the jingle

you pop back in the kitchen reset because that's your space and god I hate myself I can't I can't I can't take anything seriously

it's it's an illness yeah and join me in in celebrating my illness on International Tossers Day. Now that I can take part in. Which is every day in my house. We had a fight about the jingle, jingle.

We couldn't settle on a jingle, jingle. So this is the jingle, jingle. We hope you like the jingle, jingle, so this is the jingle, jingle, we hope you like the jingle, jingle, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bap, jingle! Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of Shag, Married and Annoyed. Really, really happy to have you back, thank you so much. We're going to start off the show, if you were listening last week, we chatted about a lady on here who used to be on the television and she we found out that she played auntie mabel in come outside well so yeah we're doing a bit weren't we're saying who would be who if you were lying at the kids at school about having a famous man who would you pick your mom and you said you said you would pick her because she's lovely and yeah yes but sadly she passed away this week linda baron

and uh i just i didn't want that that didn't want the podcast to go past without mentioning it i know it's really really sad and and obviously loving thoughts to all our family and friends and everyone you know and obviously fans from over the years it was really sad because throughout the week i was getting tweets saying oh this is who rosie was talking about and it was fours of her and then the the reminders of who of oh by the way this is who rosie was talking about and it was fours of her and then the the reminders of who of oh by the way this is who we're talking about slowly bled into oh by the way she's died and i was like what it was so strange yeah so so strange so yeah yeah there you go just didn't want you to think that we're being insensitive about that in any way because

that was recorded last week and we're going to just so yeah rest in peace so i've got a question for you a question for me okay i i mean obviously i don't always mention everything that i say online but i saw this on twitter right and i need to get your opinion on it because i i can't stop thinking about it right okay so it's it's gone viral so you've probably seen it at some point during this week right it's it's gone viral it's a question it's gone viral yeah should we should we stay in shut the schools

yeah we've got a lot shut the schools it's gone viral not that kind of viral Chris oh the good viral the good viral old school viral

not coughing your face viral this is right no this is fine don't worry just about to wear oh babe are you okay no triggered

yeah he's so triggered by the pandemic the annoying thing is I have to pop to the shops again and I've already been once today but but you only let me go once. Jesus fucking Christ, don't even. I was thinking about the other day in bed. Honestly, I could have cried.

Like, just when your mum and dad just came and stood six foot away in the garden. What the actual, what the shit? Kakapoo is how I would have. Anyway, if I was a historian, I would call that part of time. Kakapoo. Kakapoo time kakapo kakapo kakapo here's a question for you right

what do you think there's more of in the world oh Jesus I hate stuff like this how are you then doors or wheels

don't know what I I think so what kind of doors are we talking about here there was no there was nothing else that was it doors or wheels okay I'll tell you right now well we'll say it after three

do you know the right answer is there a right answer sorry sorry there isn't you don't have an answer to this you don't know the actual answer of what is more, doors or wheels. You've asked me... What the fuck's the point in there?

How could somebody count all of the doors and all of the wheels in the world? Okay, I'll give you a different one. I'll give you a perfect example. I'll shelve that for a second. Who is the biggest tyre manufacturer on the planet?

Who manufactures the most tyres on the planet? Aures the most tires on the planet a country company the the Michelin man Lego right because they make tires for the tiny little wheels all right there was a question there is a fact there is an answer yeah but quite easy account other a thing are you putting to me what who's got what is there the most of doors or wheels and I've just got to guess

and there was no answer yeah like a fucking LBC debate but I said wheel I said doors sorry I said doors right because there's loads of doors

and then there's cool bad doors I'd probably say wheels nah I disagree you think I say doors car doors car doors actually yeah

because everyone was like what about wheels on cars I was like well there's more doors than there is wheels well every car most cars yeah average are probably four doors on a car some some got five some got seven some i got right okay i'm gonna go with doors what are you saying about lego anyway what was that oh you didn't hear that well fuck me no they make loads of little wheels and is the more wheels. Lego are the biggest tyre manufacturer on the planet. Right, well, that's got... Yeah, but that...

Oh, so you just wanted to swing a little fact in there. That's got nothing to do with this. Two things. I wanted to swing a little fact and I wanted to mention Lego. No, it was basically because... And they have doors as well. More wheels than doors.

You're falling short. My point is, my point is, I was asking you a little tidbit, little question and there was an answer. You've just asked me what do I think's more, doors or wheels, and I'm going... I'm just asking your opinion.

Well, I thought there'd be a fucking answer, is me point. There is no answer. There isn't no answer. Well, this is horrible. I'm in hell. You know I hate stuff like this. Well, no, but it's like a would you rather. What do you think is more?

It's not a would you rather. Oh, jeez, I didn't think it would turn into some sort of existential crisis for you. Extestential. Is that what it... That is not a would you rather. That is just... So people... What? That went viral rather that is just so people that went viral

people are just asking people that and then just discussing it yeah oh fucking hell people want to get in the bin

what hey what's the more of bins of people find out put them all in bins god fucking damn it I don't think it's an interesting talking point

so you know I just find there's no right so you're not going to sleep tonight because you don't know if there's more doors or wheels in the world. Honestly, I'm going to have difficulty. I might have to have a warm milk. Do you know why I read that and went,

doors, and shut my phone and I cracked on with my day? No. That sums you right up. What's wrong with you? Fucking flitting through your day like someone in the countryside on a bicycle with a fucking basket on the front.

Wheels out, legs out, going down a hill. Whee! Just flitting along. Doors. Doesn't it? Doors.

Next conundrum, please. Life. La-di-da. Just pirouettes off into the fucking daisies. That's quite good. Oh, God. Right, okay.

So maybe, maybe doors if you're counting cupboard doors i'm gonna say doors because we've got probably about 20 cupboards in the kitchen and then you've got all the different doors in your house but then you've got a car each outside so there's only eight wheels in this i mean don't get me there is wheels on a lot of things but then we what were then i was talking about we're counting lego wheels or we're counting wheels on one of there's a chair downstairs yeah every single wheel right okay what about in this thing here in the in this mic stand it's like a arm mic stand you can pull it down so in the little joints they're all little metal wheels yeah it's frustrating chris it is it's it's it's the most pointless thing that i've ever been asked in my life and the fact that there is no answer

makes us want to fucking burn the house down. I am I am apoplectic with rage. Apoplectic? What does that even mean? Overcome? Really annoyed. Yeah so I'm going doors.

Oh my god I don't care. And I'll never think of that again. Let's throw windows into the mix right don't you dare right i started now i started recording as we were talking there just because guys just as i was trying to export the file there she just keeps talking about it and she's just looked out the window and looked at the motorhome and started counting the doors and then the wheels. Well, because there's only four wheels on the bottom

and then inside there's about 12 doors. Yeah, all the cupboard doors. Would a glove compartment with a door and a glove compartment count? I reckon so. Honestly, honestly, I feel like we're going to die. Do you want to hear something else upsetting? Hold on hold on hold on hold on let's just as a podcast right as a podcast as

an audio medium just ask me that question again just ask me that little question again imagine this as a question which one the one you just asked the doors are wheels no you literally just said do you want to hear something else upsetting? No, move on. Like, fucking hell. Well, upsetting to me personally, probably not anyone else listening. So as a side note, by the way, apoplectic means overcome with anger. So the fact that I said apoplectic with rage, I basically said I'm angry with anger. Where did you hear that?

Carl said it the other day, apoplectic. Oh, of course he did. Ex-teacher. So, it's happened again, three years running. I've put off buying garden furniture because I think it's ridiculously overpriced right and you only sit on it about four times a year then it sits outside and it upsets us right because i think they're bloody expected to get a good garden set right like the chairs and that you're talking a thousand pound jesus christ it is some of them some of them are more it's ridiculous right i always get jealous when i see people's

garden well yeah so do i got like Well, yeah, so do I. They've got like mint gear. I know. So do I, right? I'm like, look at you. You've probably got a fucking cover for that. Yeah. Or you've got like one of them little plastic shed things

and you take the cushions out. And you put the cushions in and put them in. Well, no. I've done it two years running, right? And I've never ordered them in time. And then you go to order them and you're like, oh, coming in July. And I'm like, the summer's over.

The summer's over in July. In the Northeast, summer is over in July, right? So I've had my eye on this set and I went to order it yesterday. It's not coming until the end of July. End of July. And I'm like, I'm back at square one now. I'm like, it took us three years to actually pluck up the courage to buy it. Yeah.

And it's gone again. Proper first world problems, but it just pisses me off. Yeah. So anyway, if you come round our house there'll be nothing to sit on. So did you order them or did you cancel the order

and you just not finish it? I haven't ordered them. Right. But you looked as if you were going to and it said then. Yeah. Okay.

How many, do you know how many actual orders there are versus orders that don't go through in the world? No. What do you mean? What do you reckon it is?

What do you reckon it is? What do you reckon it is? What do you reckon it is? Do you know what, Chris? I reckon it's about about 900,000. Am I right or wrong? Oh, you don't know the answer? Oh, let's crack on then.

Pointless one. Wasn't that, wasn't that, Rosie? Wasn't that what I just said? A utter waste of everyone's time. It really doesn't bother me. You're speaking to somebody

who can listen to a podcast that never actually finishes I know that I tell us about it I know how this feels yeah oh god I'm not that arsed

I'm like that so I can't listen to like any debate on the radio LBC and all that I remember the first time I listened to LBC they finished one argued the colour of shite

and then the other one argued the colour of shite and then they went right okay great good input there next we're going to argue about this and I'm like one argued the colour of shite and then they went right okay great good input there right next we're gonna argue about this and I'm like

what's the answer who was right no one carry on never and this is on all day every day welcome to

fuck that is this the 21st century oh Jesus it is people argue the colour of shite and then get people

who also argue their colour of shite the same colour of shite as theirs everyone's just arguing the colour of shite constantly then everyone believes them without actually asking the other people who argue the colour of shite and then whoever's higher in power just go with them and then the whole world goes to shit and

you know people are still sticking stuff up their necks when is that book on politics that you're writing coming out because we've got a little taste of it there that in depth book of politics and how the world is run there. That's coming on the shelves soon. It's called Rosie's Waterfall of Shite.

Can't wait. It's time for What's Your Beef? Beef, beef, beef, beef, beef. I actually do have a beef this week, but as it's International Women's Day, I'll go first. Okay, okay. My beef with you is that you ruin all occasions and i've said this before that's that is big you'll not know this but chris didn't want to go to the comedy awards never do couldn't be asked never want to go to anything didn't want to go had moaned about it for a fortnight before and i

to the point to the point where i said well don't come i'll go without you because i was going because i was like it's half my podcast i'm going didn't want to come guess what happened when he had to leave for his gig he was absolutely devastated gutted upset even you could say in the car didn't want to leave you didn't want to go in the fucking first place you dickhead and you know what you've ruined the whole experience for me actually so go fuck yourself i'm not going the next one with you and i was glad when you left even though i said i loved you on stage but that was just me nerves okay wow uh okay so there's a there's a couple of lessons we can learn here i think um ruining stuff right here i am um a trooper

a brave little boy and someone who will do something um for you and your benefit even though i didn't want to do it so i went because you i went because you wanted to go so i went through with it because you wanted to go right that's me putting you first that's me being selfless right then because I'm a little trooper and I'm a brave little boy, I got there, hey, chipper guy,

good lad, I made the most of it. Do you know what I did? I put on a brave face. I put on a brave face and I enjoyed it for you, my love,

right? And then when I had to go, yes, I'd put on such a brave face that I was enjoying it. And did it ruin the whole thing for you? Maybe,

but you need to learn how to get over some stuff and put stuff behind you you're an arsehole live in the moment no I'm sorry you need to learn how to live in the moment

he does it with everything he does it with everything holidays holidays oh my god holidays this is going to be a nightmare this flight's going to be awful

oh my god I'm dreading oh I can't be bothered I'm dreading this I'm dreading this sat there whilst I've gone through all of the booking

I've gone through all of the stress I I've gone through all of the stress. I've had to listen to him rattle on about how shit it's going to be. We sit there on the first night. He has a beer in his hand and he cheers and he goes, this is brilliant. And I want to punch it in the face. You're turning in to, you know, stereotypical dads. Yeah.

Like who moan all constantly. You are, that's you. And it's exhausting. Wow. You've ruined that whole thing. And then all you did was you were so sad that you had to leave.

And when you got the award, I didn't say you very much at the awards because you were schmoozing with everyone. All my colleagues were there a few years ago. Then why couldn't you

have been a bit more positive about going? Because I didn't want to go. Why? Because I didn't fancy it. But then I liked it when I got there. Oh, my God. Oh, Chris. It's such a bad trait.

Right, okay. Don't get me wrong. I can understand a little bit of, oh, you know, but months before, months before, you will batter me down. Batter. Don't allow yourself to will batter me down. Batter.

Don't allow yourself to be battered down. If I don't want to do something, don't let it affect you. What? How am I meant to do that when I live in the same house as you? And all you do

is whinge about stuff? Rosie, you ignore me on everything I say. I told you a thing about Lego tires and you weren't even listening. Why do you choose

to listen to that stuff and let it affect you but not the other stuff? Because it does. Anyway, what do you think of me to that stuff and let it affect you but not the other stuff? Because it does. Anyway, what do you think for me? I think I won there. You've not won.

Fuck all, mate. Actually. Answers on a postcard. I think I won that one. Absolutely not. Listen, listen. Let me know. I want to know

if other people do this. Men are all women. I think it is a genuine thing. Yeah. It's an illness. It might be. In which case,

you're mocking someone for an illness. So, well done. We're looking forward to getting you cancelled. Welcome to Shag My Dinoid with me, Chris Ramsey. The other one's not allowed to talk because she was mocking people who were ill. I secretly think it's a deep down, probably a sort of Corbyn thing. Because we didn't think we were going to win. I'll tell you right now, that's exactly what it was.

That's why I didn't want to go. Because I was like, I don't think we're going to win. So, I didn't want to go. I was like, it's pointless. Is that actually about hitting the nail on the head? It's the same reason I didn't think we were going to win i'll tell you right now that's exactly what it was that's why i didn't want to go because i was like i don't think we're going to win so i didn't want to go i was like it's actually it's the same reason i didn't it's the same reason i didn't prepare a speech it's the same reason i didn't think of it because i was like oh and i'm like oh we're just gonna lose is it like a superstitious thing it's like a defense thing it's like a block it out because i didn't want to go because i was like we're not going to win fucking away man you see who we're up against like massive other massive podcasts we do you forget this still doesn't feel like it's

big it's just me and you chatting in the fucking house yeah we hit a hundred million downloads today by the way guys thank you all very much on international women's day on international women's day we're here a hundred really really stretching this woman's thing now oh my god um oh sorry but it doesn't feel real how many arenas you sold out before you did this for me yeah uh yeah but you did it with me how many did you sell out before you did this with me, yeah? Yeah, but you did it with me. How many did you sell out before you did it with me? You were barely there. I played a real... I'll tell you how many...

All right, I'll tell you. Two arenas I sold out before I started doing stuff for you. How many did you sell out before you started doing stuff for me? All of them. Fucking shut up. All of them. But yes, it just doesn't feel big. I can understand that you might have been a bit anxious about the comedy awards and stuff like that.

What's the holiday situation then? What's all that about? What's the other things? What's the parties awards and stuff like that what's the holiday situation then what's all that about what's the other things what's the parties that we always go what's that's the worst one parties or nights out

oh can't be oh shh fuck's sake can't be don't want to go can't be bothered literally Chris we've got to go

two o'clock in the morning oh but we're having such a good time you didn't want to come you didn't want to come and you've alright look how look at... Look at this.

Look at this. I'm fizzing. I'm fizzing, mate. Disgusting. Don't talk about fizzing. You're going to have to carry on because I'm seething. All right.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Look. My beef with you this week, apart from the fact that you're really going over the top about stuff. My beef with you this week is

this morning, you got up, got all your gym gear on, and you went to do the school run and then you said I'll be back in a couple of hours, I'm going to the gym with my friend, you were going to go to the gym with your friend Gemma weren't you? Yeah. And about three hours you were gone, three hours

in that time I had someone came for the blinds, the tree guys came outside, a gardener came various phone calls sorting out loads of stuff, loads of things I didn't even get a chance to go on the bloody treadmill in the house so I phoned, I thought I don't want to bother her too much, your mate has put

membership forms in for a thing online I had to do for you so I phoned and thought, I wonder if she's finished her workout I went, hi, are you alright? you went, hi, yeah, I'm coming home in a minute I went, okay, you went, I'm leaving now I went, alright, put the phone down, home in a minute. I went, okay. You went, I'm leaving now. I went, all right. Put the phone down. You were home in like three seconds, which is weird. I thought that's weird.

Didn't go to the gym, did you? You dropped Robin off at school with your friend. And then three hours later, I find out, I'm going, what a hell of a workout she's doing here. Didn't go to the gym. Do you want to tell everyone where you went? You want to tell everyone where you were instead of the gym for three hours this morning?

From half eight, may I add the pub the fucking pub not drinking I didn't have two coffees I didn't have a drink unbelievable I know unbelievable

so easily swayed the pub that's jealous much yes sorry yes that's what this whole thing is no one's stopping you

go in the pub I've never had a baked insomnia in that pub I've heard they're lovely and I'm going to do that go and get one then sick of you honestly God but you know

you and all the lasses went for a coffee it was bloody lovely happy international I think I had a great time well done oh yeah thought that was

what it was for oh yeah you're going to rag that into it as well are you God almighty God everything's getting

shoehorned into this these days Christ alive Babadoo Babadoo babadoo bap. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care.

From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca That's sunrisechallenge.ca

This Friday You must be very careful, Margaret. It's a girl. Witness the birth Bad things will start to happen. Evil things., Margaret. It's a girl. Bad things will start to happen. Evil things. It's all... No, no, don't. I believe the girl is to be the mother.

Mother of what? Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. Who said that? Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, Movie of the year. I'm not real. I'm not real. Who said that? The First Omen. In theaters Friday.

Get tickets now. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th, when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game. And you'll only pay as we play.

Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com. It's time for questions from the public. Questions from the public. Public. Public. As always, guys, if you want to get in touch, it is shaggedmardinoid at gmail.com. Rosie, take it away.

Okay, Chris, thank you for letting me have the floor. Deject, deject, deject, deject, deject. Yeah, yeah, yeah, stop it. Hi, guys. So, I am in the RAF, and back in 2008, I was posted to North Lincolnshire, where I decided to buy my own home in the picturesque town

of Gainsborough. Yes. You've been familiar with Gainsborough, yes. Chris will know Gainsborough as he has gigged there a couple of times when he was up and coming. It says here, I actually spoke to him outside one of the gigs. I don't know whether he will remember me. I had a blue t-shirt on. Just kidding, it was green.

Anyway, I digress. Wow. For a laugh i was gonna say no no matter how much information he gave and he just said i couldn't really stay oh green t-shirt i'm ginsburg ginsburg green ginsburg green tea i remember him yeah uh new to this lovely town and not knowing anybody one day i got talking to my roughly same age neighbor i asked him where's best to go drinking around here he named a couple of pubs where i was less likely to get stabbed but followed it up with i'm having a poker night at mine tonight if you play you can come around i had made my first friend wow congrats i rocked up to the poker night

and met everyone there was about eight of us everyone was sound the beer was flowing and for some reason a couple of the lads kept sniffing their door keys. And then in brackets he's put Gainsborough. I've dropped my key again. Is this mine? It is mine. Is that mine? No, that's mine. That's definitely mine. Mrs Naive here, I only learnt about that a few years ago. I didn't know that was a thing. Sniffing their door keys. That's such a beautifully... i love how innocent that is well i think obviously no but i know the joke though

it's really funny yeah well done anyway we were a couple of hours into the game and call two seconds just checking that's definitely your door all right front door that's front door got this what about the side side door yeah oh side door. Side door. Side door's good. Garage. Oh, gosh. Big one, the garage door. That's a big one. Yeah, it's a big one, that. Yeah. Great.

So, we were a couple of hours into the game, and Carl, same thing, I don't know his real name, Carl, the lad sat next to me, kept getting up to go to the toilet, which, one, kept stopping the game, and two, meant me and another player had to keep getting up and moving our chairs to let him out poker by the way

can I just say worst game ever I don't understand it at all what a boring oh my god and I know I'm in I know it's a big thing internationally

have you ever watched it on the telly a bunch of twats sitting around when I used to get in from a gig it was sometimes on it's on late isn't it yeah

poker does not get the prime time slot on any channel it used to be on like one o'clock in the morning I used to put it on when I was actually it's in a sweet cone

when I got in from a gig no I'm not surprised I'm not surprised about that in any way in my bed yeah yeah did you finish the sweet cone then drink the stuff

yeah yeah good thing so sweet cone juice it's the new it's the new diet thing probably full of sugar sweet cone juice oh yeah someone will email in actually sweet cone juice it's the new diet thing probably full of sugar

sweet corn juice oh yeah someone will email in actually sweet corn juice gives you like the time your mum told us that a jack potato has probably got about 17 sugar cubes in

she read it in the telegraph or something brilliant fuck's sake so after about his fourth get up the lads refused to let Carl

go on his fifth request right and insisted that if he did need a piss that let Carl go on his fifth request and insisted that if he did need to piss that he can go in his empty beer can right yeah

also what do they think he might have been cheating or they're just annoyed by him although he was just getting on the nerves because they had to move the chairs every time

he got out and he was just and they had to stop the game every time he went for a wee brilliant there's some lads who just have to piss constantly

Carl Hutchinson try touring with him all the time yeah awful with that Carl stood up grabbed his empty can and turned to face away from the table have to piss constantly. Carl Hutchinson. Try touring with him. All the time, yeah. Yeah. Awful. With that, Carl stood up, grabbed his empty can and turned his face

away from the table. Awful. Now, for comedy value, Carl decided to do the weeing like a five-year-old routine, basically pulling his trousers down to his ankle to pee, a routine often seen

on a stag do in a public toilet. Yes, yes. What's that? So, basically, you wee like butters from South Park. Okay park okay so you go to the urinal and you just drop your pants all the way down and you lift your shirt up like it's like

a child in the street when they drop their pants all the way down lift them up yeah do it at the urinal in the pub it's quite funny i used to do it back in the day do people actually do that yeah i've done it loads back yeah yeah you go yeah if you go so when you have a wee do you just slip it through your jeans in the the urinal? Here we go. Yeah, you just stand, you open the button, and you undo your zip. So you don't just stick it through the zip? I don't know who's putting it through the zip. That's dangerous.

You could lift your trousers up and then put it through the zip. No. No. I don't know why you would do that. Where's your penis start? I'm so lost. Where does it end is the question. A couple of inches after it starts

listen you undo the button you zip down or you undo you undo the whole fly so it opens like that right okay and then pull the underpants down

but how do your jeans how do your pants stay on you just keep a hold of them of course yeah because I've done that before they do stay on they do stay on I'm thinking they're just going to fall

no right no I mean the real question is bollocks in or out? Oh. I haven't been chatting about that. That's always been the longest question.

Bollocks in or out? What do you do? Oh, yeah. Get them out. Do you? Yeah. Hear them out. Get the whole lot out.

Full balls? Yeah. Full balls out. Why? Full balls out. Full show? Let them all out. Or the lads?

There's no show. There's no lads. Well, there's lads over next door. You're having a look. Oh, nice balls. Well, no one's ever said that. Nice balls. No need for them to be out. The day that they do, I'll be very happy. There's nice balls well no one's ever said that nice balls no need for them to be out

the day that they do I'll be very happy there's nice balls I'll say thanks mate you haven't got nice balls now hey sorry I've seen a lot of balls

in my time and none of them have been nice saggy little sacks of shit I've seen a lot of balls in my time loads

loads mate awful each one of them just as horrible as the other horrible disgusting awful looks like some kind loads mate awful each one of them just as horrible as the other horrible disgusting awful

looks like some kind of experiment gone wrong it is it's like a little turkey little turkey necks little disgusting

some are tight some are saggy some are oh horrific wow anyway wow shall we crack on

for Rosie's reviews on other bodily parts email in shall I run an audit db.com it's Rosie's reviews the bodily parts parts email in shall I run an audit gmail.com it's Rosie's reviews the bodily parts balls right

some tight turkey necks some tight I've seen loads never seen one I liked next Rosie's reviews yeah but the thing

the down you pull it pull your pants and your thing down your ankles and lift your top up it's funny if you do it at the urinal

in a nightclub where you know everyone normally gets a laugh well there you go. Everyone was laughing at Carl. Yes, very funny. With his bare arse on show,

only inches from my head, whilst he was urinating into a beer can. There we go. With that, I grabbed my camera phone, which is what they were called back in the day. Yes, yes. And proceeded to do a selfie video with this stranger's arse in shot.

Great. Everyone was pissing themselves, including Carl, and then I made the joking gesture of sucking my index finger as if I was going to finger his bum. Yeah. The laughter increased. I whipped my finger out my mouth and jostlingly threw it over my left shoulder,

finger erect, directly towards Carl's arse. Guys, I couldn't believe what happened. I was expecting to just hit thin air or at the very least a cheek. Can you imagine my horror when I felt Carl's anus pop past my second knuckle?

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! He doesn't even know him. He doesn't know him at all. He's just stuck his finger up his arse.

And he doesn't know him at all. It's impossible to judge. It is impossible to judge. Have you ever gone on your selfie? Sometimes you go on your selfie camera and you've got a bit of hair sticking up at the back or something. You can't grab where it is because it's impossible to judge distance.

So he's fucking wet. It's a joke. God almighty. It's like a juggle. It's his, yeah. It's his. Talk about polka night. Oh, wait. That's not what we oh wait that's not what we meant

that's not what we meant by pork it says shocked I immediately withdrew as fast as I entered aye you're not going to leave it in

oh sorry mate what do we do now with that Carl's knees buckled not helped by his pants With that, Carl's knees buckled. Not helped by his pants being around his ankles, he hit the ground hard. It's safe to say things had escalated pretty quickly.

So he's absolutely shit his pants. His knees have buckled. The room went silent and everyone's eyes slowly shifted from Carl in a half-naked heap on the floor up to me, sat there, camera phone in one hand while index finger still extended on the other. That's... Did you enjoy this? Only thing that can make this better is if that fucking video is attached to the email. It's not an old email.

I know. I think it's too old a phone. Yeah, it sounds like. And that silence felt like an hour. My first thought was, I'm going to get a kick in here. Wow. Then, when Carl recovers, I'm getting a second one. But this is Gainsborough, guys.

They fucking loved it. The place erupted. Everyone was getting selfie with me. Hashtag Carl got fingered started trending. All in all, it was a pretty successful first encounter. So much so that I became a regular at the Neighbours Poker Night. Oh, my God. Okay, so I found this next one because, you know,

we've been talking about sex swings last week. In the emails, I typed in sex swings and I just thought, right, well, maybe someone sent something in. This is actually from a while ago, right? It's from a couple of years ago. Rosie, is it from the before times? Yeah, oh no. Yeah, yeah, yeah it is. It's from the before times.

It's from the before times. But this story just reiterates why we can't have swings in bus stops. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Right. Hi Chris and Rosie. So I have a funny story And then a question Okay

So last weekend Me and my boyfriend Went out into our local town And as usual Had way too much to drink Got ya We always end up Doing silly things

On our way home And this night Was no different Silly little sausages We were walking past The small kids park Yeah When my boyfriend and I Decided that it would be a good idea

To have sex on the swings Oh, in a children's park In the children's play area Oh, for God's sake After many whines, this sounded brilliant So I agreed And we trotted through the gate And started getting into position

Now, talk about a passion killer Obviously pitch black I could really see the prep work going on behind me. He was sat on the swing. Sorry, read that again, the pitch black thing. That doesn't make any sense. Yeah, so now talk about a passion killer. Obviously pitch black.

I could really see the prep work going on behind me. So I don't know. Was he wanking? Was he just getting up there? Maybe. But if it's pitch black, she can't see. Well, you can see bits. I don't know.

So before she gets involved, this is just a man whacking on a swing. Essentially, yes. That's terrible. Oh, God. Oh, this is nice. So he was sat on a swing, me between his legs, facing outwards. He then shouts, Have you got any spit?

Have you got any spit? Have you got any spit? Is what he shouted. It was a really dry day. Oh. Have you got any spit? Yes, yes, this bottle of spit I carry around with me. have you got any the same romance as dead have you got any spit yes this bottle of spit I carry around with me

let us check me bag have you got any spit what is wrong with everyone like why why are they doing this I don't know

I can't believe she wasn't dripping wet at the thought of shagging on the kids swings I'm sorry the minute you say a man wanking on a swing it's wet floor sign slip and slide ready to go love no spit involved I imagine she didn't even need to have sex

because as soon as she saw her man sat in the dark wanking on a child's swing and pissed in the middle of the night i imagine she came instantly and just went home i'm done this is all my fantasies come true at once tell you what benders over and smack me both at the bottom of that slide and then it'll just be absolutely unreal um so have you got any spit and then it's here and she said my god i just started roaring laughing for obvious reasons we did want to be really quick so i guess he just needed some help with the lubrication but like i

was just going to produce a handful of phlegm for his bits um i will never be able to walk past that park without hearing those words in my head have you got any spit anyway my question to you is have you ever had have you have you got any spit well i do we are all out of spit have you ever had any sex mishaps any places you regret and where is the place that you've had sex that you'll never forget wow please. How that? Please read this and both my boyfriend and I will be crying. So you've got tears.

We haven't got any spit. I've got tears now, yeah. Jesus. Dog. Do you want to answer that? Sex mishaps? We don't really have any. We're quite...

We're boring as shit. Nice, but boring. Just, you know what it is, Chris? Safe. Safe, secure. Safe, secure. And you know what it is Chris safe secure and lovely and you know what I'm really happy with that yeah yeah

because I'm I don't want to have sex on a kid's swing I absolutely don't want to have sex on a kid's swing I like to be in my nice house yeah

or a nice hotel a nice pinot grigio yeah you know by the side of wherever it may be that we do it yeah

I'm happy with that no spit needed when you've got a glass of pinot what no spit needed when you've got a glass of pinot. What? No spit needed when you've got a glass of pinot. No, oh,

lube's your right up. Chilled. Chill your lube. But I think, see, I wonder how old they are because that's quite a young thing though,

isn't it? Yeah. Do you get 35 year olds having sex in kids swings? Possibly, maybe a bit older than that. Maybe when you hit the midlife crisis

and go, we'll never do anything exciting anymore. Oh, so we've got it all to come. Oh, no. I think our job sort of holds off midlife crisis. Do you think? I wouldn't be so sure.

I think that's what happens. I think when you're young, you experiment loads. And there's loads of stuff. I don't know about you, but me personally, that was when I did all of that crazy mental shit, right?

Oh, it's like... No, yeah, yeah, yeah. Basically. And then you kind of... This is lovely and this is all nice, safe and secure that was when I did all of that crazy mental shit right no yeah basically and then you kind of this is lovely and this is all nice safe and secure and just you know

loving and all that kind of shit we're gonna hit a point where we're like right we need to have sex in the park no

I think we are I think we're gonna get there I'm gonna give we're 10 15 years okay okay well I'm gonna start building a park

in the garden because I'm not going to a public one right I've got 15 years. Okay. Okay, well, I'm going to start building a park in the garden because I'm not going to a public one. Right. I've got 15 years to crack on that park. It'll be your idea. It will. No fucking chance. In the car?

No chance. Mine will be... No. No chance. In my car? You? In the beach? In the sea?

In the ocean? Oh, God! In England? No. Abroad. The North Sea? Abroad. No.

No. No, I'm all right for all of that. Sorry. Give you some status. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Salty water. Forget it.

Not good for you. Forget it. Well, anyway, thank you for sending that in. Dirty pervert. Rot in hell. Rot in hell. I hope he's managed to find some spit. People like to push their kids on them swings the next day.

It's awful, isn't it? It's bare arse. Oh, God. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Hello, Rosie, Chris and boys. I've been a long-time listener. Sorry, can you stop saying boys? They don't listen.

I know, but they're just including my family. Right, okay. We'll talk about them in a minute. Yeah, but it's weird because people say Rosie, Chris and boys and then they send me a story

about fucking high and fingers up straight and just arses and porcupines and I go, do you know what? I don't even want to pretend that my kids are even getting that information and die of old children.

Thank you very much. You know that Robin thinks that he's won the award for our podcast, don't you? He was so excited. When I phoned him and told him, I was in the car on the way to the gig, and I phoned him, I said, he said, oh, Mama said you won. I said, yeah, well, that's Sandra, Mama. He said, oh, yeah, you won. And he said, what did you win?

And I said, a trophy. And he went, oh, send us a picture. So I FaceTimed him the trophy, and he was buzzing. He win and I said a trophy and he went send us a picture so I facetimed him the trophy and he was buzzing he loves the idea of trophies well and he's got

because I went to school to drop him off this morning and his teacher went well done and I went oh thank you so much and she went yeah Robin was very excited

he said you won a medal and I was like well it's a trophy and she said they've won a medal for being funny and I was like he's got

what must he think what must he think we do I don't think he quite knows what goes on he doesn't have a like what must he think what must he think we do I don't think he quite knows what goes on he doesn't have a clue like what must he say

what does his friends mum and dad do like Jesus Christ what a strange little life I realised he had the other day he phoned he facetimed us yeah

and he was like are you at work and I went yeah and I'm always just in a dressing room he's like where are you I'm at work and he goes

are you starting work yet and I'm like oh uncle Carl's on stage now, then I'll go on stage after. He must just... But then again, he doesn't know any difference, so it's like, oh, well, yeah. I know.

Same as, oh, you know, working in the bank or whatever, I'm going to start my shift now, or, you know, I don't know. Taxi driver. You'll not know any different, I suppose, but it is a bit odd, isn't it? I find it odd.

Yeah, but never mind. Right. I've been a long-time listener from the beginning, and I thought this story may give you a chuckle or repulse you either is a valid response either is brilliant could be a rosie's mysteries wonderful you can guess about 20 years ago when i started to date my now wife we were at my parents house fooling around to set the scene i was fully nude and my wife then girlfriend just had her top half covered in a white t-shirt. Okay. Spoilsport.

What? Why is he fully nude and she's still got a t-shirt on? Why is she holding back? What's going on here? I don't know. Well, the parents fool now as well. It was weird when he said, I'm at my parents' house. We were at my parents' house fooling around.

Yeah, but he's just at his parents' house. Mom, Dad, are you free tonight? Fool around? Me and the girlfriend? Quick fool around. We'll be there at seven. Always fooling around again. While fool? Be the girlfriend? Quick fool around. Cool, we'll be there at seven. Always fooling around again, while fooling around. I did some kind of acrobatic roll

with my legs ending up either side of her waist. We both looked down at her t-shirt and I was mortified. Sorry, an acrobatic roll? Yeah. They really are fooling around. Really, I think he's just been on the wrong side and he's just sort of like...

Oh, went to roll across the top of her or something. Right, okay. And now he's like... They're like sitting waist by waist. Right, okay. But they look down at that T-shirt. Right. As he's rolled up.

Yeah. Oh, God. No. I hadn't been thorough enough after a recent trip to the loo. Fucking horrible. And I'd put a massive skid mark down it. Oh, my god.

And she married this man. Oh mate. Isn't that the most awful thing in the world? Fucking disgusting. How does he do it? What is he? A fucking toddler.

So he's just like skid it down and top and then he's got a skid on top In what world is he rubbing his arse down on top like a dog with worms on a carpet? How does he manage that? You don't know what position they might have been doing or you don't know They're fooling around in a different position then

Well her fucking face was right next to the shit before that Eww Eww Some kind of acrobatic roll and he's rolled his fucking oh shitty arse shitty arse

this is why I go in the shower and spray my arse well he said he did say I fully understand Chris's need to shower after each visit

oh yeah but I didn't find it out like that you dirty horrible prick I just used my common sense and thought maybe this isn't clean enough I didn't go do you know what do you know do you know what do you know do you know today wasn't a great day

I rubbed a skid mark down the pristine white t-shirt of a girl I fancy maybe I'll start washing my arse more fucking hell dude fucking go faster, stripes. Oh, God.

Well, they've been married for 13 years, so there you go. Still got that T-shirt. We framed the T-shirt. Bloody talk about marking your territory. Need your heart to marry him? There's no choice? Put his scent on her oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Yes, as always, I'd like to echo what Rosie says. Thank you very, very much. And please don't forget to vote for us in an... Oh, no, we fucking won it, didn't we? Yeah, we did. Thank you again. When you said that there, I was like, what the hell? No, thank you again for voting. Thank you.

We genuinely, like... Yeah. Genuinely, we were buzzing. And thank you so much. Over the moon. Came back, me and Robin put it on the little shelf together. Buzzing. Thank you so much.

We'll be back in the years next week. We fucking love you. Thank you. Bye. Bye. You're invited to an immersive listening party. much. We'll be back next week. We'll fucking love you. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Followed by a complete soul-stirring Gustavo Jimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder, April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall.

For tickets, visit tso.ca. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com.