Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 159. Free Roam

Episode Date: March 18, 2022

On the podcast this week Chris & Rosie discuss family traits, fart shaming, free roam pets and they play an alternative to 'would you rather'. There's some urinal compliments and an annoying expression... beg your pudding?? Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Gimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder. April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit tso.ca. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Center for Addiction and Mental Health,

to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Hello, you're listening to Shag Marginoid with me, Rosie Ramsey, and my lad, Chris Ramsey. dot ca I'm bloody flipping brilliant. I'll try my best to wear you down over the next hour or so. Honestly, I'm good. I'm just feeling chipper.

I'm on my period and I'm still feeling good. This has been the best I've actually been on my period for a long time. Might be the earliest into a podcast that you've ever mentioned a period as well. 18 seconds or so that was. I'll mention periods for the rest of my life until I stop them and then I'll never mention them again. They'll be dead to me. Can't wait to stop my periods.

Wow. That's something to look forward to. Can't wait to stop my periods. Wow. That's something to look forward to. Can't wait for middle age. You're damn excited. Do you know what I'm really looking forward to? The change. No, I'm not looking forward to the change because we'll probably split up then.

Okay. I'm warning you now. Every cloud. Wow. Yeah, we'll split up but my periods will finish. No, I'm looking forward... That's one thing when everyone's like,

oh, I'm getting older and you know, talking about wrinkles and all that kind of stuff and all that. I'm looking forward. That's one thing when everyone's like, oh, I'm getting older and you know, talking about wrinkles and all that kind of stuff and all that. I'm looking forward to my period finishing. That's one thing I'm looking forward to. Well, hey, look, it's nice to have somebody to look forward to. It's nice to have goals. I don't know how it happens. Is it a

gradual thing? Is it just one month? It's like, nah. Or does it happen? I'm going to have to ask somebody. I think, and I have researched this. I am, you know, I'm like a doctor. I think your period constantly, and I am, I've researched this, I am, you know, I'm like a doctor. Yeah.

I think your period constantly coming out, it's like filling up a pint and then just as it's finishing, it's like when they straighten the glass up and then they do that bit where just the foam

comes out for the head. Yeah. I think you just get a month of foam and then you're done. All right, okay. You're horrible. You're horrible.

Do you know something that I find quite funny? What? I don't know if it is funny. You know how you do shit know something that I find quite funny? What? I don't know if it is funny. You know how you do shit things to me all the time? Yes. Like I've said, when I say, where's Robin? You're like, who?

Like every single time. Do you know what we haven't mentioned? What? We haven't mentioned the best one that I did the other day. What? I told Carl this and Carl was like, that's fantastic. I don't think I'll agree, but come on. You were on the phone to your dad.

Was it your dad? Yeah, you were having just a chat. Chatting away to your dad on the phone. Yeah. You were like busy. I think you were on the phone to your dad was it your dad yeah you were having just a chat chatting away to your dad on the phone I could tell that you were like busy and you were chatting I think you were chatting

to me to a cup of coffee or something as well at the same time yeah I'm sorry I'm just moving this I can't see your face you're moving the mic you can't see my face

that's nice look at that you are in a good mood you want to see my face I don't normally want to look at you holy shit you were on your period I would say I was going to

get lucky tonight but that's not going to happen I mean you can nah I don't like form now feels weird now is it a liquid is a solid i don't know is it a gas i don't know it's all three now oh stop it now listen um so you were yeah you were trying to make a coffee at the same time and we just bought robin away's wally book and you were on the phone and i came up you while you were deep in conversation with the Where's Wally book

open and started basically trying to get you to find Wally with us and you just fucking pushed us across the kitchen. Because I was actually, I don't remember what I was talking about

but I think I was talking about something serious. Yeah, well, see, in my defence, it did just turn to serious just as I walked up to you. But yeah, yeah, so yeah,

walking up, while you were on an important phone call trying to show you Where's Wally, it's up there. But yeah, what you're seeing,

the shit things I do, like that. Oh no, just sometimes when I'm on my period and I've got a tampon in my hand or whatever i kind of go to my mom and go do you remember these oh my god wow wow well do you know what it was gonna be as i said to you before we started i've got a shit load of beefs and i've had to whittle them down right so as you've mentioned why you got so many i've only got a couple how you doing me tits in so as've met as you've mentioned right um so this is gonna be my beef but i'm gonna give a little bonus beef i'm gonna have a bonus beef now before we even started

right a lot of people a lot of people uh we went our management company and they've got a little bowl of um weathers originals shout out yeah i stole loads yeah and some people like you said when you're younger your mom used to have little balls at christmas you would have little balls of nuts or little balls of sweets around the house some people call it some people, like you said, when you're younger, your mum used to have little bowls at Christmas. She would have little bowls of nuts or little bowls of sweets around the house. Some people have that all the time. They'll have a little bowl of nuts or a little bowl of sweets or a little bowl of fruit or something around the house. What we've got in this house is Rosie's massive pile of tampons

that are just in the kitchen at the moment on the bench. Right. And she just strolls past and grabs a tampon and then just toddles off. Okay. In my defence, they've been there for a day. They're in the kitchen. Yes, day. They're in the kitchen. Yes, I know they're in the kitchen. I decanted the boxes because I take some upstairs,

some live in the bathroom drawer, and some live in the downstairs toilet. We're very lucky. I didn't grow up in a house with a downstairs toilet. I feel very privileged for this, right? But, you know, I didn't realise you've got to decant your tampons in different places. Yeah, yeah.

I specifically enjoyed the other day where you walked into the kitchen with no pants or knickers on and grabbed a tampon and then toddled off back into the bathroom. That was good. That really, that was a lovely thing to see while I was making me dinner.

That was great, that. Just great. Just look over. Do you think I'd swallowed a mouse? I just didn't. Oh, Jesus. I'd swallowed a mouse. Sat on a little mouse.

Anyone not understanding that, it's the little tail. Anyway, listen, listen. Do you know what it is, though? I'm not even embarrassed because... No, you shouldn't be. It's a disgusting part of your life. No, I'm sorry, but what did you want me to do there in an ideal world?

Hide all my clothes back on, walk through, get the tampon. Sorry, sorry, sir. Sorry, sir. Sorry, king. I'm just getting me little... Well, no, no. You're fully within your right to do that. But as I've said before,

I'm fully within me right to take the piss out of it. Ah, whatever. Go fuck yourself. I'm taking it. You can do whatever you want in this house and I can take the piss out of whatever I want in this house.

Right? Unless it's something you'd tell us I can't specifically take the piss out of it, in which case I won't because I'm a coward. Now, listen. Thank you so much for joining us, you beautiful people out there. What? What? What? I'm trying to do my intro. I'm kind of specific to get the piss out of it in which case I won't because I'm a coward now listen thank you so much for joining us you beautiful people

out there what what what I'm trying to do me in I'm saying I don't care oh well no one cares about you right listen oh yeah

there's a fair that I'm thinking about having it's so much more tempting every single week can you all see how I'm trying to wear a good mood

down as much as I can listen I know that is really cruel actually I'm not really it's just I'm in a nice mood don't ruin it

I've got a leave-in conditioner on and everything. I'm a proper chipper. What's a leave-in conditioner? I've never understood that. Just, you leave it in. But when does it come out? I think I've got to wash it out. So you don't leave it in.

You wash it out. Well, yeah, but I leave it in for a while. Well, I leave the conditioner in for a while. I get in the shower. I'll shampoo my hair. Then I'll stick conditioner on. Then I'll do all the rest of my body, then I'll take the conditioner off.

What, for like three hours? Depends how long the shower is. Why are you such a prick? Why are you such an argumentative little dick? I've never understood a leave-in conditioner. I've seen it on the adverts, and they put it in like a serum in their hair, and then they walk around with it.

And then you leave it, and then you rinse it out? Gives a feel. Gives a feel. It's just, it's not even that bad. It's just a bit soft. See, I thought your hair was just greasy. I thought it needed a wash.

What? Really? Oh, how are you then? Oh, see, look, honestly, you weigh me down. Have you ever done it? You actually weigh me down.

Yay! Me. No, I love you and I'm glad you're chipper and look, it was good while it lasted. Guys, thank you so much for listening.

It is episode 159. Nice. And without further ado, it's time for this week's lucrative, lucrative sponsor. This week's sponsor is... Tampons. No, but close. Yeah.

The incredible skill babies possess to make a dummy disappear from sight in seconds. Yeah. I've known nothing like it. Oh, torture. It's crazy. Ray, literally, he's lying there in his pram. The dummy's nothing like it. Oh, torture. It's crazy. Ray, literally, he's lying there in his pram. The dummy's there one minute.

The next minute, it's not under him. It's not in his hand. It's not behind. It's not in the... And then you pick him up, and it fucking falls from somewhere and hits the floor. Yeah, about during the night.

Oh, my God. It's unbelievable. It's horrible. He did it last night. I sat him down in his chair to give him his little bottle before bed I just heard the dummy

drop and then I can't find it anyway I sat him on the floor he was he was furious oh no you didn't

oh what you put him out your arms he was furious I sat him down on the floor and he did that cry where he doesn't make any noise right okay he was busy taking his air

this cry this cry it's terrible I shouldn't have laughed but I couldn't not laugh you were away the other night right right

and I was just about to take him up to bed and I said to Robin I give me old spiel to Robin because Robin sits downstairs watching telly while I put Rave to bed and I'm like

look watch the telly I'm putting Rave to bed say goodnight to your brother don't answer the door don't if anybody because I don't know why I think someone's going to come to the door

but I'm literally like do not move from that spot right anyway and I had Rave's bottle done right and normally we'll have to slyly put it in I think someone's going to come to the door, but I'm literally like, do not move from that spot. Right. Anyway. And I had Rafe's bottle done. Right. And normally we'll have to slyly put it in my pocket or I've hoisted it down my pants before.

Yeah. Because if he sees it, it's game over. Yeah. Like it's just game over. He saw it. I swear to God. He like,

you know when they lean back, arched his back and he was like. Yeah. But it was so ridiculous that I just pissed i pissed myself like i'm taking up the stairs i'm like i kind of take you seriously yeah he couldn't he stopped breathing he does well he started he cries and cries and he was like and he like takes breath in but he's still crying and you go have you malfunctioned what's happened to you poor little thing he's a he's drama he's full of the drama pure drama pure drama full of the drama I think Robin's you

and I think Rafe's me which is pretty cool he's one good thing at the minute I'm sorry we're talking one good thing about my baby

who we love one good thing no he's loving Robin's old toys yeah high five to us for keeping everything yeah

like who wanted to throw everything away probably me I threw everything away you wanted to throw everything I don't throw it away we're going to charity I just want to help Like, who wanted to throw everything away? Probably me. I throw everything away. You want to throw everything away? I don't throw it away. We go to charity.

I just want to help my house. I don't throw it away. I'm not a twat. Paw Patrol Tower. He loves that Paw Patrol Tower. It's amazing. Shout out to the Paw Patrol Tower. Yeah, it's expensive as fuck.

It's bigger than him. It's a huge thing. Yeah. But yeah. Mint. Excellent stuff. Buzzing. There we go.

So, yeah. What was your sponsor? About him losing his dummy? Maybe put them on a little chain they do them no you can get oh I'm sorry no disrespect to anyone

who puts a dummy on a chain but I can't I don't know just looks a bit a bit effortless doesn't it I just can't

take a spare one I can't get away I don't know why because I'm I kind of live in a world where I'm very aware that the dentist is going to shout at us

because he still has a dummy so I'm like he only has it when he cries. Don't come around my house because you'll find him watching the telly with it on. You've got to put the little clip on the little lapel of the little jacket, haven't you? And it's almost like, you know, back in the day when people had pocket watches and it was like a chain. It was just like, this is my pocket dummy. It makes, it's a great invention. Completely makes sense.

But I don't like it because I'm like, it looks like a drug dealer. With a drug. With a drug. Like with a, I don't know. With a drug.. Completely makes sense. But I don't like it because it looks like a drug dealer. With a drug. With a drug. Like with a, I don't know. With a drug. His crutch. With a drug. But honestly,

you should use one. You're so closeted, I love it. Well done. Brilliant. Here's the jingle. Here's the jingle. Yeah, yeah. Jesus Christ, I'm prattling on.

We had a fight about the jingle. Jingle. We couldn't settle on a jingle, jingle. So this is the jingle, jingle. We hope you like the jingle, jingle. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah! Jingle! Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of Shagged, Married, Annoyed.

Thank you so much for coming back. Bloody love you. bloody love you. We bloody love you. Listen, I'm going to let this all behind the curtain here. Rosie doesn't know I'm going to say this, but we just had a moment there

in between while the jingle was on talking, should we take the bit out where we just slagged off dummies on strings? That's how fucking nuts the world has got now with people whinging about stuff.

We are literally worried that someone's going to be like, well, I have the dummy clip on my baby. That's fine. Have it. We just don't happen to like it. know we just think it looks shit my mind goes to that all the time well it's gone it's got me terrified everyone's always whinging about the thing is once upon a time something offensive was something really bad yeah like absolutely like oh you can't

say that but now we've got such a tiny little thing of slagging off a flipping a dummy string you're right oh i didn't care i don't like them i think they're awful yeah actually i'm sticking by that and i have got one upstairs in a drawer that i've never used but i did buy it yeah well i remember we gave one to robin he used to pull the clip off and it was like oh this is fucking pointless yeah and it's not that you can tie it around his neck on a rope because that's massively dangerous yeah so there you go i'm honestly tell you one thing I do love that other people hate but I'm all for them reins

for kids reins oh yeah fucking genius I know a lot of people hate them but I'm absolutely all for them

and I would say arguably they look much worse than a dummy string do you know what I mean what a reins yeah oh yeah yeah

if you're in the supermarket with your child dog yeah but oh sorry oh he likes you oh have you got a child oh have you he likes you

sniffing you we had them on Robin until he was about three do you remember oh god I'd still have them on now if I could yeah

I had Ray from on the other day because he's just he took five steps the other day which was great yes he's doing well but I had it on him at the park and it was one of the it was a little backpack one

like you said yeah yeah yeah and I just had to just hold it like he was oh yeah I didn't like hold it up. But he did better.

Yeah, it's almost like he's on one of them trampolines in the shopping centre. We had reins when we were a kid and it was the wrist one. Gee whiz. Wrist to wrist. I think they were handcuffs. No, it wasn't handcuffs.

No, I think your mum had you in handcuffs. I was literally wristed to my mum. That's handcuffs. Yeah. Yeah. But we were quite good, but I don't know whether it was like... I know I shouldn't say it

because everyone's like, my little girl's thing, but a girl thing because we used to just hold on to the buggy. Yeah. Because me and Kate would hold her one side of the buggy and Kevin would be in the buggy. And I just remember not letting go

because of safety and that. But imagine Robbie, Robin. Robbie. Robbie, who's he? Robbie Williams. Yeah. Imagine Robin holding on to the buggy.

Just like, hold on. When he was younger, though. He might now, but when he was three. No, no. Hold on to the buggy and don't let go. Even when I put that little seat on, he fucking stands on it. Oh, he's just... Stands on it and looks right over the top of the buggy.

He's a nightmare. I know. I think it's just how I kid. Yeah. Honestly, Rafe. If Rafe is not chilled out, I'm going to... I'm telling you now. I'm going to be devastated.

He's absolutely not chilled out I think he is the shouting he does he saw me eating a banana yesterday he went fucking ballistic what do you mean I was across the kitchen eating a banana

just hearing him I wasn't looking at him I was doing something else I just heard like ah ah oh he is loud ah

and I was like your mum went look at him and he was standing up holding on to the Paw Patrol tower looking at us going ah

and I was like oh do you want a bit of this and I went over and I gave him it and he was like he holding on to the Paw Patrol tower looking at us going and I was like oh do you want a bit of this and I went over and I gave him it and he was like he just fucking screams at us because he wants me

banana the little turd have you noticed though that I'm trying to be a lot quieter around the house yeah and I would like you to do as well

right because you know every single school report that we've had is Robin's great lovely little boy really kind he's just loud as fuck

yeah he's like well look at what we look at today I know and that's what my mum says my mum's like you've got a, really kind. Yeah. He's just loud as fuck. Yeah, he's like, well, look at what we did. I know, and that's what my mum says. My mum's like, you've got a really loud house, and you know, it's really... We're loud people. I know, but I don't want Rafe to be loud. I want him to be...

He's going to be loud. His brother's loud as fuck. He's going to be loud. But have you noticed? Have you noticed or not? Right. I'm like, hello, Rafe. Right, yeah.

Hello. You're wasting your time. This is the house, Rafe. Well, yeah, but then when I'm here, I'm like... Rafe! Like, screaming at him. And're wasting your time. This is the house, Rafe. Well, yeah, but then when I'm here, I'm like... Rafe! Like, screaming at him. And then, how can he be quiet? I had a banana and he was fucking war chanting at us.

Like, he's never going to be quiet. I just do remember when you were away and I had Robin on my own, I was a bit, like, nuts. I used to play really loud music and dance and do all loads of... Right, that's... You know what I mean? So we can put all the blame on you. That's fantastic.

I'm glad you've recorded that now. No, I kind of can because I was just... Good okay. You know what I mean? So we can put all the blame on you. That's fantastic. I'm glad you've recorded that now. No, I kind of can because I was just, you know, I'm a, yeah. I don't want to be like that with Rafe. I'm going to be really meek and mild. I want to, yeah. Pull your head out of your arse.

You're going to be meek. I'm going to try. You, the woman who waltzes into the kitchen with no pants on to grab a tampon. Shut your fucking shit, will you? What a load of bollocks. No, I want to be really, I want to be making my,

I want them to be chilled out. It's never going to happen. Robin is so much. Every school report I got said, talks too much. Guess what I do for a living? Fuck you all

who wrote that down. Hard lines. I got that as well. Yeah, well there you go. Fuck them. I know. Robin will be the best town crier

in the history of the northeast gaslighters 10 for the pound 10 for the pound gaslighters chronicle is it

is it it was Irish the person who did it gaslighters 10 for the pound 10 for the pound you gaslighters was he

yeah don't mind him he doesn't sound Irish on the one you've just done he sounds he's chewing something rubbish right guys

as a lot of you will know our TV show is going to start soon well I don't know if you know actually to be fair but it is going to start

very very soon on BBC 2 we're very excited excited also shitting myself that's just me the whole place stinks of her shit we are currently in pre-production for it we're having a load of shitting myself yeah that's just me though yeah yeah the whole place stinks

of her shit we are currently in pre-production for it we're having a load of meetings and sorting a load of stuff out we've got some really exciting stuff that we can't tell you yet but hopefully it's going to be

hopefully it's going to be awesome right up your street and you're going to love it as much as you love this podcast which we still can't believe that you love to be fair can we absolutely not

no I'm really I'm like nervous yeah for the show I'm yeah I'm quite nervous but you. For the show. I'm, yeah, I'm quite nervous. But you've done telly. Not with you.

Well, yeah, fair enough. Is that why you're nervous? That's the hard bit. Oh, God, yeah. I haven't, do you know what though? Walking around changing rooms with your kegs off looking for tampons. Can I, will you tell me I can't do that at the BBC?

I think they've had a bit of a shift up since everything that happened. Right. Walking around with your pants off is really frowned upon. Man or woman now. Right, okay then. Yeah, yeah.

I'll keep my pants on. I didn't know, in my defence, I didn't know that when we signed the contract. Right, okay. So I'm a little bit upset about that. I'll have to speak to my management. Was it a deal breaker? Was walking around with your kegs off a deal breaker?

Do you know, it was up there. It was up there. Okay, okay. Do I get a ride? Do we have a rider? A rider? Yes. I've told you, I don't know how many times I've told you this.

We have to pay for the rider. You pay for your rider. I know, but we were really reserved on the tour and I feel like going a bit you know Mariah Carey

like purple skittles purple skittles do they do purple skittles oh yeah they would just purple skittles just purple skittles

just some poor twat has got to get all the skittles and just put why would you put someone through there why not no I'm joking as if I would

I'd feel terrible do you know they've got skittles without the shell on now? You had the idea. I thought you were eating bits of old chewing gum that you found like an elf. Do you know what?

Like, nice, but nah. Bit weird. I'm a bit of a, I'm a shell lover. And I'm sorry, we've gone on. Oh yeah, yeah. So sorry,

all I was going to say was one of the segments that's going to happen on the show we can tell you about because we need your input. So one of the segments we are doing

is called It Goes or I... It Goes or I Go it goes or i go that is not the official jingle please don't marry that jingle anyone listen fuck's sake does any rosie does someone you love have an item that you hate hate yeah so... Jesus. Now is your chance to finally get rid of it for good. For good. Stop doing that. We are looking for couples,

friends or family pairs to come and take part in the TV show. No item is too big or too small. No item too big or too small. Right, yeah.

Email chrisandrosie at avalonuk.com That's chrisandrosie at avalonuk.com Yeah, Iris and rosie at avalonuk.com yeah I hope you understand that's yeah

just press that 30 second back thing and listen to it again if you don't it's a little segment thing that we're going to do hopefully

good items you'll get to come to London you'll get to be on the show yeah we'll have a great time I forgot to mention

that that'll be the best bit yeah yeah fantastic it's going to be good fun that I'm looking forward

to that so me if it was me and you I would get rid of probably your little tampon pile probably your little your little tampon pile probably a little your kitchen would have to be something more more um what's the word all of your all of your prints you would get rid of all my prints or some sofas right yeah

or the random chairs that you've got in corners of rooms that you can't actually access to sit on right okay yeah i don't know i don't know how many people know this, but Rosie sometimes uses chairs just as like decoration. You can't actually sit on them. Yeah. I'd get rid of, you know, your special pillow that you've got for bed

that doesn't actually go with any other pillow. Right. You know, the special memory foam one? Yes. That you insist on using for bed

and it goes with, like trying to put that next to all of the other cushions and making it look decent. Because it's bigger and stronger it's bigger and stronger than all the ones and I'd stab it in the middle

and I'd pull it down and I'd empty it all over the floor right okay wow very violent well there you go if you want to see that kind of thing happening

to someone who you love's shitty thing that pisses you off get in touch yeah genuinely we're very excited to see you babadoo babadoo bab see you it's time for what's your beef

what is it what is your beef what is your beef can i go first yes um my beef with you is you have no idea what goes in to a meal that you eat right being, right, Rafe is making his way around the kitchen at the minute. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he particularly, he particularly, it's a hard word to say. No, it's not. Particularly. Carry on.

He particularly loves the cupboard where the spices are. Yeah. And all the spices that we've got are in glass little jars. Yeah. You know the ones I mean. You get them in the supermarket. Yeah. They're all in there.

And I've noticed I'm doing it loads and the supermarket they're all in there and I've noticed I'm doing it loads and I've been meaning to empty it and I'm just like oh whatever anyway Sandra was over and she was like

he loves that spice jar and you were like yeah he loves it in there he's going to smash one bloody blah we got a little container you emptied the spices into the container

and then we were like where should we put them and I was like oh I'm not too sure and you said these were your words well just put them on that top cupboard and, oh, I'm not too sure. And you said, these were your words, well, just put them on that top cupboard. And I went, well, I'm not going to be able to reach up there.

And you turned to my mum and you went, well, we don't really use them, do we, Rosie? To which I thought, I use that every day, Chris. I actually, I mean, you don't know this clearly, but I restock them really often I thought they just had never been used I thought it was just the same

no I always use them right okay so what do you think so you know when your food tastes you know and you're like

oh what's in here a bit of parsley a bit of basil a bit of oregano a bit of paprika you know cumin garam masala turmeric

red all of that stuff yeah I use that all the time right okay and Cumin, garam masala, turmeric, all of that stuff. Yeah. I use that all the time. Right. Okay. And it just really shocked us when you literally got the little container and you were like, put this on the top shelf that no one can reach

because we don't really use these, do we, Rosie? Right. And I thought, well, yes, Chris, I actually do. Right. So that's my beef with you because you have no idea what goes into a meal and food it must just be nice

I must be getting it all from you because you also have no idea what goes into a meal because what did you forget again yesterday Rosie when you were making my tea it's not even my beef it's not even my beef this is just a little whack-a-mole beef to whack your beef down. Garlic bread again, didn't you?

Do you know what it is though, Chris? I'm not being funny. I'm not being funny. Honestly, you've got a one-woman vendetta for me to not have garlic bread. I really don't. I love garlic bread. I've got nothing against it. When I'm cooking a meal, right?

Bear in mind yesterday, so I cooked a meal for me, you, me mum, Robin and Rafe. That's quite a lot of people to cook for. Yes. Okay? Your little garlic bread that goes on the side is not top of my agenda when I'm making a tea that nobody else is going to have garlic bread. I get that it's not top of your agenda,

but at the point now for how often you do it, it's almost like you do it on purpose. Right. I promise you, I swear. Look, hold me hand. That doesn't mean anything. Hold me little hand. I promise you, I'm not doing it deliberately.

What you need to do when I'm cooking want if you know that you want a garlic bread or if you want a door ball or if you want some sort of nan bread or whatever like that i don't know whatever you need to put the oven on and you need to say rosie what is your problem with bread and preparing hot bread i love bread i love your problem with it what's wrong with you there's no problem i just forget it's not pot it's not like what i'm doing horrible right listen my beef with you this week yes is and technically it's something you did last week but it's my beef this week because you did it after so we're living in so you're living in the past that's good i'm bringing up the past yeah um so we were lying in bed i don't know if you remember this we were lying in bed I don't know if you remember this we were lying in bed the other night

and out of nowhere you said have you farted and I went no and you went alright and then I lay there and I went and I thought oh my god I can smell something and I thought now we're on a septic tank

we're not on the main plumbing because we live in the middle of nowhere, right? So I was like, oh, is it the drains? Is it the sewage? Is something happened? We've got a lot of trees. The leaves gone.

I can smell something. Bloody hell. And I haven't farted. I thought, so what is that? And I went, no, Rosie, I can smell something though. What the hell is that? And you said,

which I couldn't get my head around, you went, oh no, I farted. But it smells really bad. smell something though what the hell is that and you said which i couldn't get my head around you went oh no i farted but it smells really bad so i thought you'd farted at the same time because it doesn't smell like one of mine and honestly i've never been so insulted in my life fart shamed you farted and your own fart smelled so bad that you assumed i had simultaneously farted and that your perfume smelling or just completely transparent no smell perfect gas was being invaded by my putrid fart yeah i couldn't believe it at the minute i'm eating a lot of cabbage. That's what it is.

Oh, Jesus Christ. I just got a shock. You got a shock. And I'm juicing. How fucking arrogant, though. The arrogance. The arrogance on you. The neck on you.

To fart and go, what, Mingan, that must be one of his. Can it be mine? God, honestly, who do you think you are? I know. Sorry about that. Just got a shock. You know your own brand.

I did not recognise that. Came from nowhere. This isn't one of mine. Me farts have been hacked. You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway

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It's a girl Witness the birth Bad things will start to happen Evil things Of evil It's all No, no, don't The first omen I believe the girl is to be the mother

Mother of what? Is the most terrifying Six, six, six It's the mark of the devil Movie of the year It's not real, I'm not real. Who said that? The First Omen.

In theaters Friday. Get tickets now. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for

every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at TorontoRock.com It's time for questions from the public! Questions from the public! Public!

Guys, as always if you want to get in touch it is shagged marriedannoyed at gmail.com okay there isn't even a hello Rosie or anything

on this first one and I know the windows and doors thing pissed you off last week yes it's not that bad there is an answer

that you can pick okay but I just thought this was really interesting I looked into this afterwards the windows and doors thing it's talking about it yeah it's literally split the world yeah it's boring yeah it's not even talk about it a bit annoyed we did and i saw it everywhere and i was like you're cooler than that do you i just think we're above that i just think that we're don't do all this stuff absolutely not we've literally got you know multiple stories of

people shitting their pants we are not above that we are bottom of the barrel and we're happy there we are though aren't we we're not even bottom of the barrel if you lift the barrel up and move it away you will see like loads of crustaceans and bits of shit living under the barrel what i always enjoy is when people are like you're my guilty pleasure and i'm like oh so you don't tell anyone oh fucking welcome the club the amount of times people have told me i'm in there i'm their embarrassing crush i'm like oh go fuck yourself thanks very much i've got a wife in that you bastards oh shame on me i'm good married everyone's you mean you're my weird crush oh cheers like i fucking hell that's so offensive isn't it yeah you're my dickhead stranger. Bye. Fucking cheeky bastard. Brilliant.

Right, okay, so this is... This person sent us in and they've just said, choose one, the other two will cease to exist. Right, forever? Forever. Okay, okay, okay. So, knife, fork, spoon. Choose one. Choose one, the other two will cease to exist.

Oh, that, dun. Oh, that's annoying. Knife, fork, spoon. You can't take too long. Okay, but I don't want to choose one. I want to choose two. No, you can only choose one. I'm going to choose knife.

Really? You need a knife. Yeah, you need a knife. More than a fork or a spoon. Cereal. Just lick it. Like, what's it just eat it from the bowl with your hands

drink is the word you're looking for drink it guys she was she was miming a bowl up to her face like a cup

and going what's it what's the word what's it drink drink your cereal is the word you're looking for

oh Christ say because I then I thought knife but spaghetti didn't make me through did I yeah well because you can't

answer fast on something like this neither two are going to cease to exist forever yeah but you need spaghetti with me hand are you kidding me

well I know but what are you going to cut everything with well I'll tell you what you know what I could eat me spaghetti I could dip me garlic bread in and scoop it up

with some twat cook me fucking garlic bread eh okay maybe a fork is the answer actually because then I'm like oh well how would you cut things with a side but you could just you could just grab bits of it off like grab bits of bread yeah but then you can't eat cereal or soup with your spoon with your fork sorry it's soup shit it gives a shit soup can literally go fuck itself wow how way i'm sorry but soup like all right i eat it when i want to be healthy or it's

cold but other than that it's the shittest meal in the world a bowl of soup people who have bowls of soup for pleasure i don't want to be friends with them wow i'm listen don't care where's this coming from because i just find soup shit really yeah all right honestly don't even think about fine soup. Shit. Really? Yeah. Wow. Honestly, don't even think about the calories or anything. What would you rather? I never think about the calories. No, you're like, oh, I love a tomato soup. What do you have every time you have a tomato soup? A cheese toastie. A cheese toastie.

Yeah, alright then, yeah. What would you rather have? A cheeseburger or a bowl of soup? Can I have a cheese toastie with a bowl of soup? I didn't say toastasty, I said burger. Okay. Just please agree that soup's a bit shit. Like, it's alright, but it's...

I eat soup, I'm not... I'll eat tomato soup. I'll be honest with you, I'll eat tomato soup. I feel, again, at the risk of sounding like a five-year-old here, I think soup with bits in is a trick. And I think it should stop. I quite like cup of soup, though. Oh, here she goes

oh see hang on you went in too hard didn't you I did went in too hard because now I'm like oh actually

but you know soup with like crusty bread and butter is really nice right but then is the bread and butter

not the best thing yeah that's what I'm saying so you don't need your soup's basically a condiment a spoon aye right okay

right okay well there we go so I can use my cheese toasty to scoop the soup up if I ever want soup. So the spoon can fuck off. Cereal. What can I do with that?

Kind of the same again, cereal. How am I going to fucking eat cereal? Well, like, drink it. Oh, I'll just use, yeah. Oh, do you know what I'll do? Oh, no, yeah. Do you know what I would do? Yeah.

Get rid of it. Right, I'll keep a fork, right? Because I can cut stuff with a fork. If I'll keep a fork, right? Because I can cut stuff with a fork. Yeah. If I'm having a pizza, right? Yeah. I can use a pizza cutter because you didn't say anything about them. Yeah.

They still exist. They still exist, right? And then, right, what I'm going to do is for cereal. Eat with the fork. No. And then drink the milk. No. What?

Dry? What? You might as well just put a handful of dry. Oh, there you go. Handful of dry cereal in your mouth. Half a glass of milk. Chew it up. Or what I was going to say, which i think i'm a genius for little shot

glasses few little special k flakes in the shot glass little shot of milk one in one you could do that a second spoonful this is a little bit off topic right but i know a lot of people sorry i demand that we stay on this topic what do you mean this is a bit off topic it's just sorry every listener we're going to stray away from this utter food-based nonsense that we're talking now. I've been thinking about this for a while. And weirdly, whenever we talk about something on the podcast, our management get a message like,

Watsit sent us loads of prawn cocktail crisps. Fucking hell. Thank you so much. They were unbelievable. Can I just say this as well? Please, I don't like interrupting you because I feel like I do it too much. No, that's fine.

But I just need to talk about the fact that we were sent them giant prawn cocktail watsits because they're bringing them back we sat in a meeting about our TV show and we had a big fucking bag of them and everyone took a massive handful and we all sat chatting and then I looked around the room

and everyone was using their tongue to pick it out of the tea it was like a fucking gurning competition I couldn't believe it looked like we were fucking clubbing in the 90s everyone was like mmm but they are so

they're so good oh everyone looked so ridiculous it was so funny well listen I want to put something out in case anyone's listening from Kellogg's right

because where the hell have chocolate cornflakes gone right chocolate cornflakes do you remember them yes oh my god wow they were so good I was telling Robin about them the other day Cornflakes gone. Right. Chocolate cornflakes. Do you remember them? Yes. Oh my God.

Wow. They were so good. I was telling Robin about them the other day. He had a bowl of cornflakes and I was like, Robin, you're not going to, you're going to lose your mind.

When I was younger, I had this thing called chocolate cornflakes and he was like, what do you mean? I was like, they were cornflakes but they were chocolatey

and they turned the milk chocolatey and they were unbelievable. Wow. I love a bowl of cornflakes but chocolate cornflakes. Wait, I think they might have had but they were chocolatey and they turned the milk chocolatey and they were unbelievable wow I love a bowl of cornflakes I don't know where they've gone wait I think they might have had too much sugar in

do you know I don't even I don't even think I fully believe they were a real thing I feel like they were a real thing because we got them

so I think they were on the cusp of when I was a bit of a teenager because my mum wouldn't have bought them and I think I actually bought them wow do you know when you start

earning your own money and you buy food rosie coming out clubbing i spent all my money on chocolate corn flakes come with yours in the morning know that my chocolate corn flakes you go out and be slags and i'll go and eat my chocolate corn flakes how dare you it's something my mom would never have bought rosie you're 25 minutes late for work and you're soaking. What's happened? I've spent all my bus money on chocolate cornflakes. Is that why you've got chocolate all over your face?

Yeah. Where's your fridge? Where's the fridge? Is it still in the staff room? Because I'm putting my milk and my cornflakes in the fridge for my dinner. Christ alive. Honestly, I really like them to the point where I think about them On the rails

I do I really do Staring out the window As it's raining Yeah I don't know where they went Anyway If somebody wants to send

Bye my friend I'd really like Some chocolate crumb Please I was thinking We'd try and make some But they all clack together With the chocolate

Don't they It's not real chocolate It's not chocolate It's not like actual chocolate. If Coco Pops are still kicking about and fucking Frosties and Ricicles, I'm sure a chocolate cornflakes can make a comeback. Come on, people.

Let's make it happen. Come on, let's make this happen. Right, there is more of these. I'm so sorry. Yeah, come on. We'll try with these quicker. Answer them quicker than that, man. Okay.

Right. Duvet pillow mattress. Choose one. The other two cease to exist. Duvet pillow mattress. Choose one? Yeah. Yeah. Duvet, pillow, mattress. Choose one? Yeah. Duvet.

What? What are you sleeping on? The floor? A folded up duvet like a sausage roll. No I'm going mattress. And then I'll have the top I'll have the top

with what? You're just going to sleep on a mattress? Freezing? I'll sleep on a mattress and then I'll put a coat over us or a dressing gown

and then I'll use a rolled up Oh shit yeah blankets still exist don't they? Yeah rolled up sweater alright I love no I've changed my mind

I want mattress right good for you McDonald's KFC Domino's choose one and they all cease to exist the other two cease to exist

I'm choosing McDonald's every day of the week I'm choosing McDonald's what over Domino's honestly Domino's these days when I have one

I feel like I've been on a stag do the next morning I wake up I feel like I'm gonna die will you stop eating them no no never it might be the when I have one, I feel like I've been on a stag do. The next morning I wake up, I feel like I'm going to die. Will you stop eating them though? No, never. It might be the beer I have with them as well, just as a...

Yeah, exactly. It's not the actual pizza. So this one they've made specifically for us. Oh. Right. So choose one and the other two cease to exist. Right. This is for you.

Mm-hmm. Blowjobs, handjobs, or Lego? Oh, this is awkward. I'm just trying to remember what a blowjob's like. Awful. They're horrible. You didn't like them. Do you remember?

You were allergic? You came out in a terrible rush you said i never want one of them again i said oh you're sure oh you're sure i don't mind i'm sorry i've got to have lego yep i've got to have lego why don't you have sex with you it's not on the list well ram it in eh yeah actually i kind it'll do. Actually, I kind of win out of that, actually. Yeah, you win massively. All right, well, there's one for me here, which is sex, lamps or wine. I can envision our future

and it's a celibate drinking wine in the dark or with the big light on. It's really hard. Only between two. It's really hard. Only between two. I'm going to have to pick wine. I'm going to have to go with wine.

As I said, that's my future. Celebrity, drinking wine with a big light on. But do you think I could get some strip lights from Ikea? Because they can create a nice ambience. Sad, sad. Dear Rosie and Chris, my girlfriend has quite a strange problem. I knew of the obsession when I met her,

but I didn't really understand how serious it was until after we moved in together. Okay. Her problem is that she loves DP. DP. Uh-huh. Sorry. What? Am I being...

Am I being conned here into saying what I think DP is? Oh, I've just thought that's what it could be. No, it's not what you think it is. Well, I don't know what I... You think it's deep penetration, don't you? Double penetration is what I think it is. Double penetration? Shit.

No, it's not that. Right, okay. But do you know what's ridiculous? What? And this shows how... Like, sometimes, you know how I try to protest that I'm not that stupid? Yeah. I thought it was deep heat.

But it's not deep heat, because that's DH. Fuck me. Honestly, what is wrong with my brain? Can you tell everyone what DP is? Yes, I'm going to tell you now, sorry. Obviously, now we're in a relationship, this is quite problematic for me, as the amount of Dr Pepper she consumes genuinely...

Fuck's sake, man. Oh, hey, that was painful, that. I was up like a little meerkat. It's not double penetration. The amount of Dr Pepper she consumed genuinely has an impact on me. Right, okay. Okay, this is really affecting them. Wow.

She'll go through at least 10 two-litre bottles a week. She's going to die. That's my thought exactly. Yeah. And it'll be all she drinks. She's going to die. That's my thought exactly. And it'll be all she drinks. She's going to die. She'll have kidney stones in a couple of years. Oh shit. She needs some water. She's bought a special bottle which has a fabric cover so that she can take Dr

Pepper to the gym. And to work out. What's a fabric got to do with it? I think it's so people can't see. Dr Pepper at the gym? That's what I'm saying. Burping your way through the treadmill you dirty mare. She takes it's just so people can't see. I think it's so Dr Pepper at the gym fucking burping your way through the treadmill you dirty mare. She takes it to work as well

or whenever she needs to go so that she doesn't look strange. She must be fucking buzzing all the time. As when she's at home she'll drink it straight out of the bottle

as pouring a glass like a normal person is too time restricting on the required intake that whatever species she is requires. What a fucking burn that is. Oh, my God.

He's been sitting on this for ages. Hasn't he? Says, I'll also wake up in the middle of the night to the loud glugging and fizzing associated with midnight chuggage. Horrendous. That is... Who's doing that? Almost always accompanied with a burp

that would likely register as one of the minor earthquakes we get from time to time. Crikey. Isn't it lush when you get past that barrier of a relationship? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I wonder... Will the lies cease? I wonder how long it took her to just start

necking Dr Pepper during the night. God, it's really Dr Pepper. All of that is tolerable, but it's when we go and buy the shopping that I get pissed off. She'll cram in as many bottles that will fit in the trolley and i remember one time there genuinely being almost 20 bottles good god then we'll get the checkout and the poor checkout lady's biceps will be absolutely fired after lifting and scanning all the buttons required for a week's feeding dude right i'm

telling you right now rose if that was, I would say you go on your own to the shops to get your Dr Pepper on a Dr Pepper run once a week or once a fortnight. You can't do it on the big shop with me because we'll look like nutters. You can't look like a nutter on your own. You'd have to have a word and go, do you know how horrific this is for you?

Yeah. I had to have a word with my dad the other week. Do you know my dad drinks about 25 cups of tea a day? Yeah, oh my God. We've got a little caddy, but what we put the used tea bags in. It was... I've never seen anything like it. It was about as heavy as a bag of sugar.

And I said to him, I was like, do you drink any water? He's like, well, the tea. I was like, it's not... It's a diuretic, you know that? It literally pulls water from your system. It's not good, is it? Oh, wow. Anyway.

Wow. Yeah, that's I would make her go to the shops on her own I'd be like you go on your own you take a full

massive trolley and you get your daughter to pep and you just tell everyone you're having a kids party best thing to say

if you ever here's the thing guys I've learnt this if you are buying anything ridiculous from the shop and they're gonna look

you work in telly or work in telly it's for a TV show right okay yeah oh yeah yeah you knowy it's for it's for a tv show okay yeah oh yeah yeah what's all this that's for a tv show no don't ask any more questions they'll go watch show and you go i can't really say it's done yeah and then for like years they watch a telly they watch the telly waiting for us massive dr pepper fucking war thing is though chris dr pepper what's the worst that can happen well her teeth will fall out

she'll get kidney stones and honestly by the sounds of things she's in danger of shitting herself at the gym yeah good slogan though

because I remember that what's the worst that can happen great advert yeah great phenomenal advert thumbs up shout out to everyone

who's just about to disappear down into a YouTube hole watching the old Dr Pepper adverts because I'm fucking gunny are you are you yeah I've got a lot of time in the van oh yeah i was gonna say hey yeah love the podcast please get me anonymous

because i am a teacher quality after listening to how many questions from the public start with so-and-so was a pure creep then we had sex yeah there's lots of them yep i've always agreed with you that they should leave too many red flags, last week I toured the red flag factory. That's a great phrase. Oh, I love that. And here's what happened. So, I was speaking to a man on Grindr who claimed to be around the same age as me,

is 24. And we agreed to meet up and book. Yep. Grindr. It's very much what it's for. That's for any new listeners. They are meeting up to have sex. They are not meeting up in Buckinghamshire.

Oh, yes. Yeah. Meeting up. Just to book. Meeting up and to book. Yeah. The first red flag was when the man in question refused to send a picture of anything other than his face.

Pretty weird for Grindr. I love Grindr. Wow. Yeah. He is not on brand for Grindr. Listen, we want knobs and nothing else where's your knob anyway after i turn up his dress he answers the door clearly a lot older than in his photos i'd say about 10 years older clearly noticeable okay that's sad a bit offensive i'm 35 so i'm a year older than the guy that he's talking about so a bit offensive yeah yeah actually it was actually this is a 24 year old he was old he was a year younger than me

prick that's true though i'm not being funny when i was 25 35 old as fuck oh yeah awful like literally you're over the hill yeah we are over the hill horrible still horny i ignored the red flags and ended he informed me he lived with his parents and had to keep the noise down. Heavens to Betsy. Times are hard. Understandable. He's a very understandable bloke. Yeah, great.

Red flag number two. After entering his bedroom, I see he doesn't have a bed, but a mattress. With no bedding or duvets in the corner of the room. With very little furniture. Mate, shout at your mum and get her to sort this out. With very little furniture, not even a wardrobe. Pure crack den vibes. Just a room with a mattress? Yes. Oh, man alive. It's still horny and bored, I venture on. You must have been the most horny man in Britain. It gets worse. Looking around, there's a huge cage in the corner

and sawdust all over the room. I ask him why, and he tells me he has free-roam hamsters. Oh, for God's sake! In his bedroom, and if I should come across one, I should just ignore it. Free-roam? Why's there a cage then? He must open the cage and there's just free-roam across his room. That's so ridiculous.

What if he stands on one? Well, it says, Frightened I'd become some sick pawn in a rodent fetish session, I decided I should leave. However, I didn't. And the next day I was picking bits of sawdust out of places it never should have gone. For fuck's sake, man.

Come on, mate. That's rotten. I have never heard of a free roam hamster in my life so i've heard of um house rabbits right my kate used to have a house rabbit go yeah just shit everywhere yeah he didn't shit everywhere actually you could train them i'm sick of hearing i'm sick of hearing bullshit about this rabbit it's so true he didn't he didn't shit anyway he used to shit in a little, like a little litter tray. I won't have it.

He did, in the kitchen. I won't have it. Right, pass me phone. I'll ring her. She's just full of shit as well. She's just going to say that. Right, yeah. Hang on.

Here we go. Hello? Hi, kid. Just me. Hello. Really, really super, super, super duper, super duper,

oh God. Really, really super duper, super duper, super duper, oh, God. Really, really super duper quickly, right? Yeah. Do you remember Gus? Your Gus, Gus Gus. Rabbit? Yeah, yeah. Didn't he not shit in the house?

No, I trained him not to. Uh-huh. Where did he poo? He had like a, a bit like a cat. He had a little tree. Bollocks. Yep, thank you very much. Chris doesn't believe us.

I'm not having it. He did. No, you can, it's true. You can Chris doesn't believe us I'm not having it you did it's true you can google it you can train rabbits yeah you did didn't you have to put his face in

he's wee in there what the fuck no you did did you not no how did you how did you train him

how did you train him what you do because it's the only life to pee in a certain area so you would collect a little bit of that pee on some tissue and some of that poo and put it in the litter tree and then they're just attracted to the smell and go oh right this is where i need okay i've exaggerated that i didn't

mean him right yeah but he did and he was absolutely lovely and he was gorgeous he was good cuddly and have you ever heard of free roam hamsters oh god no oh yeah so we're just talking about somebody now somebody's um had a one night stand with someone who's got free roam hamsters oh god no oh yeah so we're just talking about somebody now somebody's had a one night stand with someone who's got free roam hamsters in the room

oh no that's a bit that's a bit weird yeah great okay but not hamsters alright love you okay love you bye slag

bye so yeah so she had to pick up a bit of it's piss and it's poo I do remember on a tissue that might be in a dog

that I've known a dog that you've known no there's something about there's something about I can't imagine that I can't imagine that working or being any kind of pleasure

for the dog the dog doesn't fucking know don't rub it's face in it I don't know I'm not a dog trainer anyway I'm not having I'm alright

look I'm alright for a rabbit if I've got to pick up a shit and piss with a tissue and then hope I wouldn't have a house rabbit I wouldn't do it no disrespect Kate

I wouldn't have a house rabbit I'm alright for any kind of animal not happening babadoo babadoo babadoo hi Chris and Rosie congratulations on the comedy award thank you thank you very much

just got a quick something for you cool I got a little something for you got a quick something for you cool I got a little something for you got a little something for you didn't think I was going to do that

there did you na na na na na na na na na don't make songs like they used to do they just read the it's a good song

just read the question just start reading the questions why is every have you specifically picked questions that I've got a line that you can start singing

because this is painful I really haven't but why do you you know my personality why are you all of line that you can start singing because this is painful I really haven't but why do you you know my personality why are you all of a sudden you have a cigarette on you do you hear this

do you hear this no I just I'd like that I enjoy this part you've got no patience for me I'll like it when you read them out

okay great I've started seeing a new guy and he has in my opinion a really annoying habit. Wow.

He always says, this is what he's saying, that's a future, insert his name here, problem. Sorry. Such as, that's a future marks problem.

What? This happens to everyday activities like doing the washing. So, so say he's doing something and like say the washing up or this that's a few so if it was you you'd go right so that's a future chris the classic one being uh if you get a plate out of the cupboard or you get a ball out of the cupboard and you shut the

cupboard and you hear a load of stuff sort of fall yeah that is future use either someone else's problem or it's future chris problem. He says it out loud. That's a future Chris problem. That's horrible. God, that would be, wouldn't you want to absolutely kick him in the face? That's really annoying. And I would honestly

either tell him to stop or it's over now. You can't live with that. Well, it's like you, it's very similar to beggy pudding. I've stopped saying beggy pudding. You have stopped saying it. Thank God.

Nothing has made me drier in my entire life than beggy pudding awful awful yeah so that's a future okay so yeah well that's a don't worry about that that's a future chris problem yeah that's annoying it's that is it's it's 80 less cool than he thinks it is yeah i would yeah you're gonna have to see you need to stop saying that it's not cool or witty it's just stupid well this is i don't want i'll keep our anonymous just in case yeah yeah yeah um would you find this annoying and how do i get him to realize it's annoying tell him just tell him why are people really irritated

by the way what why didn't you just tell him just go where did you hear that yeah future thing where did you hear that this is something i said for years where you should probably stop because you know phrases and that go out of they come out of sort of common use why are people so terrified to say things to people you've got to say it you've got to say it

I think we've proved that you've got to say it yeah absolutely look beg your puddin's gone yeah that's gone I actually fancy a little bit more

than I did prepare not to because you've reminded us of beg your puddin so it's going to make a comeback I hate it

it's going to make a dig of it now y'all I hate that I hate that I also now say devil's avocado yeah which I hate I always say it's gonna make a dig of it now y'all I hate that I hate that I also now say devil's avocado yeah which I hate I always say devil's avocado

great that see I think what we've learned from this is my phrases are brilliant but everyone else's are shit that's exactly what we've learned congratulations

thank you me me me babadoo babadoo babadoo hi Rosie and Chris. Me and my boyfriend are listening to episode 158 last week. And you talking about balls in or out at the urinals got us laughing about a memory.

A memory? A memory. Oh, fuck. Not a sound from the pavement. Okay. Has the mood lost her memory? Just do the story, man. I miss singing.

Fuck's sake. How can you miss it when you do it every five minutes around the house? I miss singing, like, on stage. You did it on the arena tour? It was ages ago. Fuck off, right.

We went to Budapest in 2018 and when we landed, my boyfriend went to the toilet in the airport. Right. He came to find me after and was looking rather sheepish. I asked him what was wrong,

and he said that he was having a wee in a random man who, for descriptive purposes, was small and in a very oversized suit. Bit weird. This man, this random man, was at the urinals too. Two urinals down. Right. This man then leant over to him and said to him,

you have a very nice dick. Right. My boyfriend was taken aback and asked, what? And the man replied, you have a very nice dick. Wow. So our question is,

what would Chris do in this situation? Because I said to you, do you compliment each other and do you look? And you said, absolutely not. When did you say that to me?

Oh, that's the evidence that one weird man in a suit that didn't fit him has got the best eyesight on earth from two urinals away and then lent in and told someone they've got a nice dick and that's the evidence that's the evidence that we all do it you've cracked the case have you okay now so he just said well and said well I imagine he was trying to pick him up I imagine he was

trying to pick him up it was probably a pick up line you probably didn't even see his dick but you have a very nice dick and then the guy

goes oh or he goes oh right yeah yeah you want it yeah okay okay I didn't see that thank you very much

I didn't see that I imagine I would go what then you see it again and I go cheers bye yeah your suit doesn't fit you have a very big suit I imagine I would go, what? Then you say it again and I go, cheers. Bye. Your suit doesn't fit.

You have a very big suit. And very good eyesight. Because honestly, I can barely see it and I'm holding it. You're too much too. Your eyes are where you are. Your fucking zoom contact lenses, when they come out, cheers on. zoom contact lenses when did they come out James Bond thank you so much

for listening to this week's episode of Shagmode Anointed guys just a shout out Poole Blackburn Leicester they are literally

the three places where there is remaining tickets to come and see me they all hate you there Poole Blackburn Leicester and there's not many I'm doing twoburn and Leicester nobody wants to come and see you

and there's not many I'm doing two nights in Leicester the first one's got a few more tickets the second one's got one of them's got some tickets Blackburn is the second show I'm doing there and Pool

which I was there the other day it's a pretty nice place when's your tour done? soon longest tour that was ever live it should have been done two years ago but I'm still enjoying it

and thank you so much to everyone who's been so far but yes Pool, Blackburn and Leicester they're the only ones if you want to come and see it come and see it there because I'll not be touring

for a while after that if you want to send us anything don't forget it's shagmaridanoid at gmail.com oh I normally say that I know sorry but you forgot it

this thing we're improvising this is what we're going to have to do on the TV show we're going to have to be up and ready and quick fire like autocue

autocue I'm terrified I can't breathe yeah let's talk about this after let's talk about this after Let's talk about this after Let's talk about this after This is literally the outro Fuck's not with you

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