Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 189. House Shoes

Episode Date: October 14, 2022

On the podcast this week Chris and Rosie discuss ways to clean a radiator (that's covered in sick), Chris' choice of shoe and Rosie's response to a text. QFTP's cover bin juice, pile cream and an unusual use for lego. Enjoy! Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com. You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway,

the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Gimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder. April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit TSO.ca. Hello, you're listening to Shagmarried Annoyed. Welcome to the sick house.

Well, it's not the sick house yet. It's not the sick house yet. It's going to be the sick house. Rafe's done it again. He's done his famous. He's caught a little bug before everyone else. And yeah, we talk about this so much on here. We must be the only podcast where there's constant fucking puke updates from my kids

well it's terrible yeah but it's just that thing of having kids that once you watch your child be sick my first thought is I'm gonna have that yeah

I'm gonna get that as soon as you phoned me yesterday you phoned me yesterday when I was taking Robin and Louie's little club you phoned us and you said Rafe's just been sick everywhere and I was like

and I immediately felt sick as soon as you said it and talking about it now makes us feel sick and I know people listening us talking about it is going to make you feel sick so sorry

we'll try not to dwell on it too much but that's the life now do you want to give an update of your life that's the life that's what's going on that's it

that's what's happening apparently there's a lot of sickness bugs going round of course there is don't you always hear that yeah when your kid's sick they go oh there's loads

going round someone always tells you it's going round just all the time there's always a sickness bug the disgusting little creatures

anyway yeah it's because he's got absolutely no like like beyond no

concept of germs or dirt no it's crazy like the stuff he picks up lies on the floor in shops and just puts his hands

on the floor and just do you know I've had to stop him from walking around the garden on his own, he just lies on the floor in shops and just puts his hands on the floor and just, oh. Do you know, I've had to stop him from walking around the garden on his own because he just kills ladybugs. Really? Are the ladybirds or bugs?

Ladybugs is what American people call them. We call them ladybirds. Well, he just kills ladybirds. Yeah. You think he's going to pick it up and go, oh, lovely, he just squeezes them in his hand. Yeah, he's a cycle. And I'm like, can you not kill all the ladybirds?

The kid's a cycle. Yeah, he did did six in a row the other day Jesus that's a killing spree he's a serial killer six in a row had to wash his hands

just had to just juice all I feel like we should have some kind of funeral for the six in a row oh Chris honestly but I don't think

he knew he didn't have a clue what he was doing he's only one and a half yeah you know what I mean obviously Robin got upset mum he's killed one and a half yeah you know what i mean obviously robin got upset he doesn't know he doesn't know oh god that's that's the grim grimness of our life

welcome back welcome back that's what well that's what's going on with us what's going on with you hope you're all right out there thank you for coming back thank you for listening thank you for putting up with us i reckon all of these years in these episodes because it's episode 189 wow 189 we're still chugging along there or chundering along as it will be this week very shortly and uh yeah without further ado it is time for this week's lucrative lucrative sponsor this week's sponsor fully on brand this week's sponsor this week's sponsor is clean and sick from a radiator oh literally literally prepared for doing this podcast by flossing our radiator with a tea towel yeah one of the one of the worst things why use like old towels yeah basically so so um dear listener i know you

really want this explained here in full fucking detail so here you go rave was sick rosie allowed him to be sick should i say because i wasn't in the house no i'm sorry he's been sick five times he hasn't hit the ball once of all the places of all the places to let him be sick ridiculous rosie you don't know when they're gonna be sick they don't tell you yeah so we've got one of them radiators you know like the ones that look basically like it's not a flat radiator it's one of them it's bars it's a posh old fancy one like old-fashioned one and it's the bars and does it look great on the wall yeah it looks great does it look uh does it hide the heat out nicely yeah it really really throws the heat out quite nicely um is it really easy

to clean when a child spews directly on top of it so the sick runs down the wall and then inside all of the bars no it's a fucking nightmare i was nearly sick myself uh absolutely horrendous absolutely horrendous first i tried to take the radiator off the wall and then i thought i'm gonna snap the pipes on the bottom here so i'll put them back on the wall uh but the thing is with something like that it's not like it's not like when the if the draw on a wall or something if you leave any of that sick there oh god it's gonna smell oh god it's gonna smell it was in the porch yeah it's in were waving you both off. You were taking Rom to school.

Yeah. Me and Rafe were just waving you off and he thought, this is the perfect time for me to just hoi me ring up. It was awful. It was awful. So basically,

you know, have you ever seen someone like get a towel, mainly a bloke, they'll get a towel and they'll hold one in the left hand and they'll pass the other end through their legs

with their right hand and they'll go, and they'll dry their undercarriage. I've never done it. Well, I've done it for a laugh. I don't know who does it. Flossing your balls. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Flossing your undercarriage I think you'll find. I love that. Fed it. That's like one of my favourite sayings. What, undercarriage? Undercarriage. I think it's...

Very strange. That's nice, isn't it? So I basically passed the radiator down the back, passed the towel down the back of the radiator with a screwdriver and then had it from the bottom

and then basically flossed the full back of the radiator into the wall. It was fucking ridiculous. It was not the way I want to spend my day. Your mum came in. She was like, are you all right? I was like, not really. Okay, well, we'll get onto this later on.

All right, okay. All right? Okay. Because I may have wrote something down for the beefs. Ah, great. Excellent. Excellent. Just remember how he's complained about it so much.

Yeah, great. Okay. Excellent. Shall we crack on? Let's crack on. Here's the jingle. We'll cheer with a little jingle then. Here we go. We, great. Okay. Excellent. Shall we crack on? Let's crack on. Here's the jingle. We'll cheer with a little jingle then. Here we go.

We had a fight about the jingle, jingle. We couldn't settle on a jingle, jingle. So this is the jingle, jingle. We hope you like the jingle, jingle. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bap. Jingle! Jingle! Jingle, jingle, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, baa, jingle!

Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of Shagged, Married and Annoyed. Lovely to have you back. Yes, hello, hope you're well, hope you're well. How are you feeling? Apart from a bit sicky, apart from on the precipice. I'm on the verge, like, no, do you know what it is? I'm really good. I'm a little bit apprehensive about this week because you have decided just to leave your entire family. Right, it's work. I haven't decided to leave my entire family.

Four nights he's going away. Oh, hang on, I need a burp. God, am I going to be sick? Oh, God, you need a burp. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, God, oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus. Oh, Christ.

Oh, Christ. Send the priest. I don't think the priest is going to come because you're blaspheming that much. He's not going to want to come in. Stop blaspheming. All the best, I'm sorry, all the best Christians or whatever you call everybody,

the old blasphemers. All the best Christians, all the best. Has there ever been a less religious sentence in the world than all of the best Christians or whatever you call them are good blasphemers? Yeah, because there's Catholics, Christians, there's Protestants, there's all this different, but they all have the same idea.

Chris, I don't know. I don't want to talk about religion. What you're trying to say is all the best Jesus Christ believers use his name in vain. I think they do. I'll go to say that. Not only are you wrong, but that is massively offensive to heavily religious people.

I demand you take it back now. I would take it back if I thought that heavily religious people listen to this podcast, but I know fine well that they probably tried it and tuned out a long, long time ago. Any that were left probably just turned it off, as you said, Jesus, for the 15th time there. Maybe. There we go. Great.

There you go. Well, it was nice to have you. Hey, finally we did all M out, didn't we? Fucking hell, let's get down to the nitty gritty. There, we got rid of them all. What was I saying? No, you are leaving. You're leaving.

Oh, yeah. I'm going to Portugal on holiday with my mates. Oh, no. I'm working. down to the nitty gritty there we got rid of the ball what was I saying no you are leaving you're leaving oh yeah I'm going to Portugal on holiday with my mates oh no I'm working it's only you who goes away to Portugal with your mates

I went for two nights get over yourself three nights oh it was three nights anyway do you know what I just did which was I'm really proud of myself right

and by the way hang on though when I went away to Portugal you farmed the kids off you only had them for one night I had them for two nights did them for one night I had them for two nights did you yes

one night I had them away because I had my mates around and the other two nights I had them it was exactly the same alright then two nights you were going for four nights

childcare during the day childcare it's work I don't give a shit I haven't chosen you're such a dick I haven't chosen the schedule I haven't gone

fucking away I had photos in fucking Magaluf. I've been told by this company that I'm working for I've been told by this company that I'm working for that I'm filming them days and that's that. Right, okay. Well, anyway, listen, just listen

to me story. I've done something brilliant, which I'm very chuffed with. You're victim blaming, but yeah, go on. I have just ordered an online shop, right? Because I'm a lazy bitch and hate going to shops nowadays. And I have just bought everything for my tea for the next four nights is just stuff that you put in the oven.

Right. You just planned your tea. So you're almost meal prep, but just ready-made meals. Ready-made stuff. I skipped the HelloFresh because you're not here and it's pointless just getting it.

You can't get it for just one person, I don't think, anyway. Oh, that's sad. So that's been skipped. Yeah. So I just ordered, like one night I've got fish pie proper old school meals

as well you know I've done it proper like I've got fish pie and then the next night I've got beef like a beef bourguignon thing with mash right

and I also ordered because everyone slags them off right but I really like you know them ready made like chicken dinners oh you are so oh god I love them

I absolutely love them honestly I know they're not great but I just I love them I I absolutely love them. Honestly. I know they're not great, but I just love them. All right, listen. I put them in the microwave. Although, no, I put them in the oven because, like,

you put them in the microwave for four minutes or the oven for 25. I'll do the oven. So, I've got a few issues here, right? I'm sure everyone saw Rosie's post on Instagram of our meal the other night that was chicken dippers and beans swimming in fucking

salad cream looking like bloody some bloody bukkake porn video where everyone just jizzes in a cup, right? Manky. I don't know what that is.

I don't want to know what that is. Great. What's bukkake? It's like as many people jizzing on someone as possible. Oh, for fuck's sake. Like loads of people. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's, if there was a hell, that would be my hell honestly do you know what i find it does just i know we're going dead off piece but do you know when you watch porn and someone gets come on come done and they look so you can just tell they're like oh here it is here it's coming and they're like they look and try to look sexy they're like oh but they're wincing and you're like oh this is if i was wanking off to that that would probably put me off i'd be like she doesn't want that in her face yeah they don't look like they're enjoying it yeah no i totally agree i totally agree it's like

being shit on it's i mean it's nothing it's nothing like being shit on. Chris, it's a bodily excrement, fluid, that comes out of someone. You don't want it on you. Like, yeah, boobs, stomach, back, fine. Face, no. This is just absolutely disgusting. I'm just, nah. Nobody wants jizz in their face. Right, yeah.

You do it a couple of times because you try it and you think, oh, they'll stay with us but then once you've got them that's the first thing to do oh god

just take that jumper off she's getting that hot anyway what were you saying about your tea first of all I'm offended because I've been religiously spunking

all over our radiator so it's right down the back of them it's my thing so when the heating comes on in a couple of weeks I'll see when the heating comes on

we'll love you turning the heating on. Now listen to this, right? So just to paint a little picture here, obviously we all saw your monkey tea the other night. So when I go away, you're like, oh, Chris, that's a weird, just me and the kids. And you're like in bed eating your tea, like the fucking bucket family of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Because if one of them wakes up, I can't. Yes, yes, yes, I get it. Like Grave cries if he wakes up in the it yes yes yes I get it like Rave cries if he wakes up in the middle of the night and then you leave him he doesn't go back to sleep how am I going to lock

all the doors everything will be on downstairs and I just be in my room with Rave like I can't do anything so I go to bed at 8 o'clock

it was going to be my beef but it's not my beef anymore I'm just going to mention it now right so basically all our picture now is you with your little

living like a 50 year old divorced man right okay eating your little ready-made one one tray in the oven chicken dinner right i imagine on the morning do you have a a full english breakfast in a tin i imagine you have that no but i have i have been on eat them awful so with your thing and what will you be doing tell everyone tell everyone you'll be sitting on the sofa eating your little your little full chicken dinner out of a tray what will you be sitting with me electric your electric blanket your new electric blanket you just bought yeah like a 50 year old divorced don't you dare do you want should I get you on no that was you

that was your response absolutely not I'm not having like oh oh there he was last night watching the bloody new Game of Thrones

have you got any got any spare there you came under you little shit that blanket fell onto me leg right and I just thought

I'll steer you because it's easier best thing I've ever bought that was pretty cool but it's just you now. That's my thing of you this week. I'm away working and you're just eating one tray of meals under your little... Can't wait.

I bought little mini bottles of wine and everything. Brilliant. I'm going to have a great time. That was the thing though, when I had to go to bed the other night because where were you? You were away again. Working, same thing. Annoyingly, so sorry we can't tell you any of these fucking things I'm doing at the minute.

It's so irritating. And was it saturday night was it friday it was a night it was a weekend it was friday and i had a glass of wine in bed nice yeah it's actually unbelievable because when i came in on saturday afternoon the the wine glass was still by the side of your bed so i knew you'd done that because i haven't had a chance to clean up when you've got the kids you can't leave them house is immaculate when I've got these kids. Immaculate. I don't sit down. I don't stop.

Are they? Yeah. Are they... Have they been talked to? No, they haven't been spoken to. I'll give you that. I'll give you that. They haven't been spoken to or acknowledged in any way.

But the house is spotless and they're spotless and everything's fine. And I'm knackered. But they've been completely ignored. Yeah. See, BB's his daddy when I'm away. Turned up full pelt so they can't ignore it. It's on, like, volume 90.

It's like, Doggy! Dadadada! Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah! Tell you something I'm excited about. Right. So, I know you are working, but I am actually going away again soon.

Yeah, you're going away again. You've got another little weekend away. Going to see the Backstreet Lads. Yeah, Backstreet Blokes. actually well this is the thing right he has something for you this is a question that i want i want to get your opinion on yeah so me my mom and my sister are going my mom thinks she's going to see she keeps fucking saying westlife yeah and i'm we're like mom it's not westlife yeah don't get me wrong love westlife but it's not fucking westlife it's a backstreet boys yeah she's got no idea who they are i don't get me wrong love Westlife but it's not fucking Westlife it's the Backstreet Boys she's got no idea who they are

I don't know why honestly don't know why she's coming just free jolly I'm guessing so she's not going to enjoy the gig it's going to be like one of them people

who are there who are judgy and I don't want any judgement on that night I really want to just I know me and Kate let loose I can hear it in the hotel

afterwards I can hear it going bloody hell man you see them who do they think they were bloody dressed like young lads man exactly it's terrible that like bloody when he took his top off I thought ah tell afterwards I can't go bloody hell man you see them who do they think they were bloody dressed like young lads man exactly

it's terrible that like bloody when he took his top off I thought ah ah put your top

back on you've got children probably ah you know what she's like when she doesn't like something

she's a fucking nightmare well here's the question right so we want to buy some merch we want to wear a t-shirt for the

gig right they're selling them on the website right so they've got some that are of them So we want to buy some merch. We want to wear a t-shirt for the gig. They're selling them on the website. So they've got some that are of them now. Or they've got the old ones. I'm very much like, why the fuck would I want a picture of them now? That's terrible.

That's terrible. That's terrible. Also, pop stars aren't allowed to age. No, they are. You fucking arsehole. No, they are. They absolutely are allowed to age. It's great and I'm going to enjoy it.

If this was me saying this about a woman, if this was me saying this about a woman, you'd be up in arms. You'd be fucking whinging. Daisy, producer, I'd be like, I cut that out because you're being sexist. But because it's you, whinging. Oh, boo-hoo.

Them Backstreet Boys boys have turned into men. Well, fucking, let's sue the sands of time. Who do you think you are? I don't want a fucking picture of them now. I want the picture that I used to swoon over when I was younger. So we're getting the old one. That's exactly how I feel when I see old photos of you. Here's what you could have won, Chris. Don of you. The here's what you could have won Chris photos.

Chris, don't like that. Here's what you could have won. Blonde, slim, gorgeous. But do you know what? I get it. I get you. I hope they understand. And they also...

Sorry, sorry. Honestly, I hope one of them's listening. I hope halfway through, I hope just as they're about to start, right? They go, hey, special, we've got a special request here. Is Rosie Ramsey in? And everyone will be like, yeah. And you'll be like, oh my God. honestly I hope one of them's listening I hope half of them I hope just as they're about to start right they go hey special we've got a special request here is Rosie Ramsey

and everyone be like yeah and you'll be like oh my god and you go out the front and they fucking kick you out the fire exit for being an ageist

cow ungrateful those lads are still touring banging out the hits do you want to hear something really sad this would kill me right

so they'll never listen they won't listen to this, will they? They're not going to know. I don't know. So. One of them nearly did Please Keep Me Anonymous for Series 1. I'll tell you that right now.

Did they? Very nearly. Which one? One of the final talks. Well, that was the thing. Well, that was the thing because we were aware that you're such a dick

that if it was one of them that you weren't asked about you probably would have fucking ignored them. Did you not tell me that? No, no. One of them were in the final talks with one of them they were completely anonymous

very very very close to it happening shut up but all of the shows sold out immediately so they were like fuck doing that well anyway

you can buy t-shirts with them individually on yeah they're all sold out apart from bar one and now I'm like

I might buy that just to make him feel a bit better yeah how old is he on it oh it's back in the day oh back in the day but he was never

he was never the the how horrible how can you imagine him can you imagine him like I don't even want to see his name

it's been reduced oh my god right what's his name I'm gonna go and buy them all what see his name. It's been reduced as well. Oh my God! Right, what's his name? I'm going to go and buy them all. What's his name? I'm going to clear that website out. But it's on Backstreet Boys. It's Howie.

Pua Howie. I love Howie. All of them. It doesn't sound like it. All the rest of them are sold out. Yeah, all the rest of them are sold out. That's a kick in the bollocks, isn't it? I know.

I mean, I'm sorry. If that was me and my mates... I'm going to wear the Howie. I'm going to... Right, I'm buying it now. I'm going to buy the Howie T-shirt. Get me one as well. Do you want one? Yeah, gonna right I'm buying it now I'm gonna buy the Howie t-shirt do you want one you're not fucking coming

I still want a Howie t-shirt I'll walk around the house I'll do me cleaning get a couple actually I'll keep them for cleaning the radiator oh no don't I love Howie

doesn't do many solos but he is good babadoo babadoo babadoo welcome back everyone short interlude there that you didn't really realise there was obviously just a babadoo bar but we have just purchased howie t-shirts one for me one for rosie howie we've got your fucking back brother right yeah so there you go hey if that was me and my mates they would never let us live it down what if you hadn't sold your

t-shirt they would literally be like we've got the graph they'd put the graph on the wall like there's you, Ramsey. That's why I... They might be dead sensitive, though. You don't know what people are like. Pop stars, aren't they? But if you can't laugh about it, then fuck them, fuck the wall. That's why I would never release merch

separate of something with you and something with me because that would happen. Everyone would buy the Rosie T-shirt or the Rosie thing and no one would buy the Chris one. And you would keep an eye on it? Oh, yeah, yeah.

Well, I'd be... You'd be like, why is there loads of the Chris ones in our house, Chris? And I'd be like, oh, I just got sent the stock by mistake, but it would be me buying them off the website. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So there we go. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. So I heard the greatest, possibly the greatest telling off of a child, I think I've ever heard yesterday. Okay, whose child? Someone.

Oh, not ours. No was no no I went to Crazy Golf with my friends and the people behind us so it was it was that amazing thing where all I was doing was shouting at Robin

constantly because he was just being a fucking lunatic at Crazy Golf he lost his ball at one point because he just whacked it so hard

it just went like over onto the next bit of course he did so I'm just like constantly and then like the people were with this into their kid

as well like calm down come back here come back here what are you doing get off there like robin was walking on the course behind when kicking people's balls and that and not even realizing i was like what the hell are you doing so then the people behind us they started bollocking their kids and i was like oh thank god it's not just ours and like the friend i was with was like this is just people telling their kids off and i I was like, yeah, that's it. But this woman said, the woman behind us, said one of the greatest things I think I've ever heard seen to a child, and I'm going straight down.

I think the kid was called Erin, right? I think. Is that a girl? I think so, yeah. Well, yeah, sorry, definitely a girl, but I think it was Erin. And the kid said something. And the mom just shouted,

Erin, stop being a tyrannical dictator really stop being a tyrannical dictator i think she did yeah i was like well that fucking sums it up to me fair like that's um it's really odd or the middle class yeah very middle class but well i mean what a cut and how. How old was the kid? Oh, nine. Do they know what a tyrannical dictator is? I'm sure they do now.

Them. Stop being a tyrannical dictator! I was like, fucking hell. Mother! Oh, gosh. Imagine you got that in the school report.

Child has, you know, has flashes of tyrannical dictatorship-ness. Also known as pack it in. Pack it in. Shut up, Pack It In. Pack It In. Shut up, you little shit.

Just wonders. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bap. It's time for What's Your Beef? What's Your Beef? What's Your Beef? Beef. Beef.

Right, ladies first. My beef with you today is... Oh, yeah, because you said this had something to do in the beginning, didn't you? Nobody asked you to clean the sick up off from that radiator. I was going to do it.

You took over. And then all you did was stomp around and whinge about it. And I don't understand because I was literally stood there going, you took over this job. I had started cleaning it and then you took over and then all you've done is whinge about it. Okay. What's the matter with you?

What is the matter with you? Firstly, if I was cleaning our kids sick from behind a radiator for what possibly was about 45 minutes and I was stomping around buzzing,

happy as Larry, licking my fingers going, this is the greatest thing that I've ever done. You'd be like, what the fuck's wrong with you? You've lost your mind.

Right? Secondly, if you ever heard the phrase, you want a job done properly, do it yourself. Yeah. So that's what I did right because I knew

but you would half arse that you stomped I mean that's ridiculous no I wouldn't have you stomped around moaning pissing

whinging about it and I was like Chris nobody asked you to do this okay it was very irritating right one

when you the moment that you said I was stomping and whinging about it I was actually whinging because I was trying to rip a bin liner and i thought i had a hold of the thing and it was in the drawer and i went to rip one bin liner off and i flicked the entire roll of bin liners out and across the kitchen right about 15 foot uh that annoyed us but i genuinely wasn't i was pissing him on about the fact that i was literally because when i was cleaning the

bottom of the radiator my face was almost touching the top of the radiator anyone needs to know the y ffaith bod i'n llyfru, oherwydd pan oeddwn i'n gwblio'r dyn o'r raddiodd, roedd fy ngwleidydd yn deall y top o'r raddiodd. Ond dwi ddim yn credu bod unrhyw un angen i'w wybod y rhanau a'r rhanau o'r raddiodd sy'n sylweddol. Fy bwynt yw, dwi ddim yn ei wneud, dwi ddim yn ei wneud. Dwi ddim yn ei wneud. Dwi ddim yn ei wneud. Dwi ddim yn ei wneud. Dwi ddim yn ei wneud. Dwi ddim yn ei wneud.

Dwi ddim yn ei wneud. Dwi ddim yn ei wneud. Dwi ddim yn ei wneud. Dwi ddim yn ei wneud. Dwi ddim yn ei wneud. Dwi ddim yn ei wneud. Dwi ddim yn ei wneud. Dwi ddim yn ei wneud.

Dwi ddim yn ei wneud. Dwi ddim yn ei wneud. Dwi ddim yn ei wneud. Dwi ddim yn ei wneud. Dwi ddim yn ei wneud. You absolutely would. You would. No, I would not. Honestly, there could be rivers of sick running through the house and you would sit and watch fucking Housewives and have a cup of coffee and go, I'll do it in a minute. So I'd just do it. You're a fucking dick. Honestly, these people must think I'm a complete scruff and I'm absolutely not.

They all saw your fucking dinner on Friday, right? So there you go. Go on, what's your beef with me? You've annoyed us now. Okay, my beef with you, dead quick, probably worse than this, probably cutting, right? Oh, great. I flew...

What happened? Just stubbed my toe on the chair. Excellent. I flew to Southampton the other day, and you know I'm a little bit scared of flying. You know I don't like flying, so when I'm about to take off... Oh, that's irritating.

When you hold me hand when we're landing that, I'm like, oh, God. Wow. So I'm about to take off, and I text you, and I said, I'm about to take off, about to fly now, going on flight to take off about to fly now going on flight mode love you and you're like love you and then i always land i always text you saying landed safe and you go oh good i text you i did say landed safe and you just text back damn like not not funny like i know you're joking it is funny

I know you're joking but there's like I'm in an aircraft in the plane there was a chance I could die I know right but why

I feel like I don't know how to describe this am I the man of the relationship yes because you're like that you're like

going on a long car journey love you in case something happens and I'm just always like right okay I know your love is you don't have to tell us before you going on a long car journey love you in case something happens and i'm just always like right okay i know your love is you don't have to tell us before you get on a plane i know it is nice and honestly if you did die and then we did a documentary i'd have the text and i'd go look he said straight away you turned that into a work opportunity you fucking mercenary i know you did die we did the documentary and stuff

get in touch with me agent Jesus no you're just pathetic like that wow love you love you and the kids

I left a Norton in my bed I was just like fucking just get on the plane and get home I just thought the damn thing

was funny you'd landed it wasn't like I wouldn't I wouldn't do it when you're taking off. Just be cold. Hope you die. Hope it crashes. It was funny.

It was funny. I sent an emoji after, winking. Nice. Straight away. I don't think you did. I did. I might be in a minute later.

Brilliant. Give it a beat. So it was a proper small plane as well. Really, really small plane. Oh, was it? Yeah. I don't know. It felt more like a local bus service, but the lady on it was lovely. I'm not Really, really small plane. Oh, was it? Yeah. I don't know. It felt more like a local bus service.

But the lady on it was lovely. I'm not slagging. The land was phenomenal. What brand was it? Logan. Oh. Scotland's Airline. Logan Air.

Scotland's Airline. It was amazing. It was amazing. I'm not slagging off. It was amazing. There was one seat on one side, then an aisle, then two seats. Oh, it was little. Yeah, yeah.

Is that why you texted? Well, shit me sell. And then the guy next to us. So the lady came down the lady was it was like a personal service the lady was so lovely so did you

hang on were you on a private jet it was like a private jet but with loads of people on must have been about 50 people 60 people on there that's not many to be fair

for a flight and the lady was so lovely looking after the wall and she came round with like tonics caramel wafers and I was like what yeah it was class

but the guy across from us so she came down and she like put everyone's she was like can you just put your armrest down put me on the scottish accent she didn't have scottish accent and then she was like she didn't have one no no i know right unbelievable ruined the whole experience i'm complaining um i had to put me she was like can you put your seat up my seat was down like i was on the back seat so you couldn't even put it down it was against a wall so it was that it must have been down half an inch i don't know how she even saw and she like leant over and pulled me seat up because the button thing wasn't working

and the guy near us just trying to make small talk was just like yeah and i saw a look and i was like a bit weird because like i still don't know why they want your seats up and your tray tables up and your the covers up i don't know why you're dying anyway well he said something he said something like i think it's so that you're like immediately ready to leave if something happens and i was like right and he went not that your seat up would make any difference anyway we'd all just die instantly and i went and then as well landon because i really don't like landon's i'm like holding on to the thing and he looked over and he went hey i'm really sorry i shouldn't have said that before i didn't know you didn't like landon i was like mate it's fine it's

absolutely fine like it's all right i'll just check my phone oh my wife's actually gutted I didn't die so it's just banter banter banter banter banter banter banter

banter banter banter banter banter banter banter banter

banter banter banter banter banter banter banter banter

banter banter banter banter banter banter banter banter

banter banter banter banter banter banter banter banter

banter banter banter banter banter banter banter banter

banter banter banter banter banter banter banter banter

banter banter banter banter banter banter banter banter

banter banter banter banter banter banter banter banter banter banter banter banter banter banter banter banter life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca.

This Friday. You must be very careful, Margaret. It's a girl. Witness the birth. Bad things will start to happen. Evil things. Of evil. It's all.

No, don't. The first omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil. Movie of the year.

It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. Who said that? The First Omen. In theaters Friday. Get tickets now. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none.

Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th, when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every post-season game. And you'll only pay as we play, come along for the ride and punch your ticket to rock city at Toronto rock.com. Baba do Baba do Baba do Baba. Ooh,

you're so disgusting. Yes. This one is a little bit close to home. Really? This babadoo ba. Ew, you're so disgusting. Yes. This one is a little bit close to home. Really? This one is about you, Christopher Ramsey. From you? From me.

Oh. Your house shoes. Oh. Your house shoes. Now this is... Awful. You hate me being happy. No, do you know what?

I can't get away. So Chris has bought a pair of shoes. They're like... They weirdly look quite Balenciaga-ish. But they're not. Oh no, they're like an Amazon own brand.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. They're totally not. But they look like them slippy, the slippy, socky ones. I've got them on now. Of course you have.

Yeah, so they're slip-on trainers. Grey colour, yeah. Grey slip-on trainers with a white sole. The reason I can't get away with them. You know what the make is what fashion let me see

turn to the left fashion air-cooled memory foam um lightweight they are the canny i mean they're not the horrific shoes but the reason i really don't like them one because you just keep calling them your house shoes which makes you you know 85% less attractive oh sorry

two my whole life isn't to be attractive to you it kind of is it's not number two it should go both ways

then number two I can't you keep having them on so you lie on the sofa and then you've got your feet hanging off the edge of the sofa with your shoes on

how shoes I know they are but they're just shoes so then I automatically go he's got his fucking shoes on his sofa I haven't got my house shoes I know

but then there was another thing they're slippers for the active man I'd left the buggy outside with the shopman underneath yeah and I glanced at you yesterday I was like

oh he's got his shoes on I was like can you go grab the shopman and. And I glanced at you yesterday. I was like, oh, he's got his shoes on. I was like, can you go grab the shopman? You were like, they're my house shoes. I was like, oh, fuck off. That's right.

So I can't, that's the thing. The other day, I went out to put the bins out and I realised I'd stepped on the floor of my house. I came in and anti-back wiped them. Oh, God.

House shoes. Why? Just slippers? No. Slippers are dangerous. Why have to have an actual pair of shoes to wear in the house because they're

comfortable and I can do stuff in them slippers are dangerous man the amount of times I'm picking something or carrying something the amount of shit I've got to carry around here

and it's dangerous man so I've got my house shoes got my active slip on house shoes it's so horrible and I've got I've got slip on outside shoes now as well so if you need me to get

from inside to outside honestly I'm like a formula one pit stop team papa house shoes gone outside shoes bump i'm at the bins and i've done the recycling i'm back in papa we're so old and rank aren't we no here we are no you're young but yours is lazy stuff like electric blankets and that you can sit on your arse it's not i don't have to put the heat on i've got active and i in my they keep us warm they keep us warm i wear socks i wear socks with them so they don't stink because now they're going to stink

if I don't wear socks with them. It's just really off-putting when I see you with your shoes. I hear tubes on in houses. Right, well, try and remember that these are house shoes. They live in the house. They only belong in the house. Like a house cat.

They don't go outside. Fair enough. House shoes. I find animals who just don't go outside really sad. It's weird, isn't it? It's like... It's like Black Mirror, isn't it? Do you want some fresh air?

Yeah. It is mad that people have house cats. Do they just not leave the house ever? I don't know if they go in the garden. I don't know. They must go in the garden. I don't know. It's a bit sad, isn't it?

But then on the other hand, I find it really odd that cats just naff off for like three days. Yeah, yeah. And you're like, have you had a nice weekend away? Do you know where you've been? Meow. Oh, great, have you had a nice weekend away? Tell me where you've been. Oh, great.

Have you had a nice weekend away? But I do have some actual icks here. Oh, great. This is a little bit different. These have been sent from a guy who icks that girls have had about him in the past. Oh, my God, no. Yeah. Oh, dude, I love you.

It's his high boat. I'm a 24-year-old male and here is a collection of ics girls have said they've got off me. Mate, I love you. Mate, thank you so much. I do too. One of them,

there's a few of them here, so, using sensitive skin body wash. Oh, fuck off. Yeah. That's, oh, wash. Oh, fuck off. Yeah. That's... Oh, how? Oh, what's that? You're not washing yourself with handfuls of gravel like a real man.

Oh, I don't find you sexy anymore. Looking after your skin health and complexion. I find that quite sexy, so... What, that is using... No, you use you use like moisturizer and face wash and that and i'm like yeah good yeah your skin looks thank you very much you're welcome honestly that's her not you yeah right disregard that one um you for me you're one for one with me so far my man do you want another one

yeah untying and tying my shoes rather than just pulling them on untying and tying my shoes rather than just pulling them on. Can I invest you in some slip-on house shoes? Absolutely not. I'll send you the link. You'll never get a girlfriend to get a nick with. No, what? Sorry, so untying and tying his shoes.

So she just wants him to leave, she just wanted him to leave the laces. That's weird, isn't it? So I imagine she's in a hurry and he's had to sit and tie his shoes again i've said we should phase out laces i bought robin some new shoes yesterday and they sell these things these elastic laces that you just lace them through they're elastic and then you get the right and you put this little clip on them and they're fucking amazing i'm going to redo all of my shoes with i'm going to buy them and i'm doing you're going to love this

i'm going to redo all my shoes with elastic laces. Please do not have elastic laces. I have to. Actually, do you know what I might do? I might go back. Can you remember the ones you could get from the metro centre back in the day? Stop it.

No, but I am going to get elastic laces. They just look perfect. They look like the laces have been perfectly done and you're just... If I was in a hurry and he was... The house has been in a problem

with his lacy shoes. I think this lass just has found it minging that he's just like, oh. Tiny shoelaces. No mate, he's two for two with me now.

I'm on his side fully. Me too. I'm on his side fully. Next one. Getting a blister and walking from... The guy's just not allowed to be a human. He hasn't tied them laces tight enough that's why

and they're rubbing that because that's what's happened if this is the same girl she's gone no it's multiple girls right well okay well so a girl in the past has slagged him off for tying the laces and he's gone right i'll just slip one off they've gone a bit slack the shoes have been slack they've rubbed and well that's got a blister yeah i'm still three for three with me okay next one yep accidentally farting when i had a coffin fit i don't know if that's an ick that's just embarrassing all right okay i can just excuse me excuse me okay no i've got it I've got a side with her on that.

That is Mankey. Side note. Have I... I don't think I've ever told you this and I've got a funny feeling this is going to blow your mind. Have I ever told you about the time I was down...

I was younger and I was down at the beach walking someone's dog with them. Right? A girl? Yeah. Right. Was this a girlfriend or just a...

Yeah, it was a girlfriend, yeah. Okay. And the dog went in the rock pools right yeah and it must have swallowed some seawater

I didn't realise right and then it stood there afterwards about 20 minutes later and it barked and as it barked it shot seawater

out of its arse three times it's unbelievable it's one of the most incredible things I've ever seen do I know that? don't know I feel like I do know that just bark and the sea water just fired out of it's arse

god it was unbelievable I'd love to have seen that it was amazing did you laugh? I couldn't believe couldn't believe me fucking luck must have went he must have drank

a load of seawater and it's gone straight through him oh bless him poor little bugger that one said hope you enjoy please keep me anonymous

as these girls all listen to the pod yeah well amazing that yeah I mean I can't I'm with him on all of them

apart from fart and wild cough and yes it was an accident yes he didn't mean to but of course he's gonna get the ick by that imagine you are about to have sex and you're just like and with him on all of them apart from fart and wild cough. Yes, it was an accident. Yes, he didn't mean to, but of course he's going to get the ick by that. Imagine you are about to have sex and you're just like, oh, I just caught something.

It's down there with an erection. Oh, sorry. Oh, can we do this some other time? Okay, sorry. I'll take you home. Two seconds. That just leaves me shoes off. Why does it make me feel physically sick

thinking of someone with an erection having a coffin fit? You know, the dick will go up and down. Oh, God. Oh, bounce out of that one. Horrible.

Horrible. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. It's time for questions from the public. Questions from the public. Public. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-public. Guys, as always,

if you want to get in touch, shaggedmarriedannoyed at gmail.com. Do it. Do it. Write it in. Press send. Do it.

We'll keep you anonymous. Don't be scared. Do it. Hello, Chris and Rosie. Just listening to the most recent episode of the podcast and Chris was talking about the bin juice patch on the tiles.

Yes. I know exactly what he's talking about but I have to tell you this story as I know he'll despise it. Fantastic. have to tell you this story because I know he'll despise it fantastic I also despise this story by the way what do people think of me? everyone knows you're a scruff

I'm not this level of scruff ready? are you allowed to say scruff anymore? oh god I don't know I don't think we'll get cancelled by it Robin doesn't know the word, I don't let Rob, Robin doesn't know the word scruff. Well,

Robin called Rafe that the other day and I had to dress him down. No, he's not allowed that. I had to dress him down. He was going, he was going, but he, and I went,

you can't, I went, don't you ever, ever, ever say that to anyone. Don't ever call anyone on their appearance or anything. I went,

don't ever say that to anyone. And he went, I don't say it to people. And I went, but you've just said it to Rafe. And he went, but Rafe's not a person. I I went, but you've just said it to Rafe. And he went, but Rafe's not a person. I went,

he is? He's his brother. You can call him anything. I would say he's a brother. If he ever says to me, what's a scruff? I'll go, Rafe.

Yeah, yeah, just his brother. Right. When at uni, after a night out for a rugby social, we were back

at someone's first year flat and they had a broken gutter outside the flat. So, in our drunken state, one of the boys broke the gutter off, put his head at the other side of it and told us to pour beers down the pipe as a funnel. I didn't go as disgusting as I thought it was going to be, but I feel it may escalate. I mean, it's still a bit rats. It's ridiculous. Speaking of rats, there will be rats running up and down that gutter. Leaves, sludge from the roof. Horrible.

Minging. Bird shit the lot. So anyway, fair enough. If this wasn't bad enough, it escalated to someone putting their head down the other side and us stabbing the bottom of a uni bin bag and letting the bin juice run down the gutter for him to drink.

Oh, God. God. Why? That's one of the worst things I've ever heard. Please keep me anonymous. Oh, we will. We will, because you probably have a good job seeing as you went to university.

That's fucking hilarious. Oh, that is wild. Genuinely? Downing bin juice through a gutter. I almost want to move on immediately. That is... This is what I don't understand about university, right? I didn't go to university.

I wouldn't have had the grades good enough to get in, right? How are these people... What do these do now? Work hard, play hard. They've got degrees. Work hard, play hard. They're drinking bin juice, Chris. What's wrong with them? Work hard, play hard. They've got degrees. Work hard, play hard. They're drinking bin juice, Chris. What's wrong with them?

Work hard, play hard. What? Yeah, it's horrible. Yeah, it's mental. It's disgusting. So it's boredom. I imagine it's boredom. It's being with new people.

It's being away from home. It's trying to impress. It's one-upmanship. It's peer pressure. And yeah, it's blowing off steam, I suppose. but fucking hell man so the penetrates someone stood holding the bag like santa and they penetrated the bag with a gutter with a spike of the gutter and let the bin juice run down through the gutter and they drank the bin juice that is up there with it's some of the worst that's up there that's worse

I'm telling you right now that's worse than the people who drank shots out of someone else's bollock skin oh that's much worse yeah I'd have done that every day for the rest of my life

rather than I mean no every day for the rest of your life ding dong oh there's me bollock juice delivery two seconds everyone

see you tomorrow same time tomorrow same time bye bye well we've got food me a bollock juice delivery. Two seconds, everyone. See you tomorrow. Same time tomorrow. Same time tomorrow. Bye. Well, we've got... Grape juice tomorrow. Free tape for the rest of my life. I don't know why I went in that.

I don't know why I went in that. All I was saying, was saying was all I was saying was that on one occasion that that's not as bad as that and you went

up to I'll take the daily annual subscription please yeah sign me up for that is it the

same bollock every day or can I do I get a bit of variation you don't have to

it's happening babadoo babadoo babadoo bab dear Chris and Rosie my You don't have to do that. It's happening. Dear Chris and Rosie, my husband and I have just had the joy of listening to the Smelly Moldy Crom Rag, Smelly Moldy Crom Rag, I love you. And it made us reflect on our own cum rag choices. Oh, God's sake. And we're intrigued, I can't speak,

and we're intrigued to know which you think is worse. Obviously, the previous cum rag question asker had a nominated item a pillowcase right that they didn't that they used and didn't wash

ever my partner and I tend to use whatever t-shirt he's been wearing that day slash other appropriately

sized piece of clothing and then chuck it in the wash this means that almost every t-shirt he owns and wears regularly has once been

our cum rag. Oh, man. Our question is, which is worse? I feel like that's worse. Do you? Well, I feel like if you've got one bit of item... I mean, listen, are we rationing toilet roll at the minute? So my first thing is stop having

random things to wipe, the person who's got the cum on them, stay there, the other one, nip the toilet, get them some toilet roll,

finished. And just jump in the shower. Just jump in the shower. Yeah. Stop using your clothes from the day. What the hell's going on? Or like a pillowcase.

Pigs, animals, stop wiping yourself on the nearest available thing like a fucking dog. Oh, you could have a flannel. No, no, no. But then wash it. I'm falling against flannels. Wash it. That nearest available thing, like a fucking dog. Oh, you could have a flannel. No, no, no. But then wash it. I'm falling against flannels.

Wash it. That's the thing, right? On a hot wash. Boil wash. Here's the thing, right? Clothing, for me, has like a memory to it. Do you know what I mean? If something really terrible happens to you

in a certain bit of clothing, you remember that and you go, I don't want to wear that. That's tainted now, right? To a lesser extent, I was out yesterday and I had a black t-shirt on, right? and you remember that and you go, I don't want to wear that. That's tainted now. Yes. To a lesser extent, I was out yesterday and I had a black t-shirt on. Right?

Now, it's quite a nice black t-shirt. I own quite a few black t-shirts that I've paid a couple of quid for that I like. They're fit, really not. Do you know what I mean?

They're not just like, you know, normal. They are, right? But they're from basically, like, they're not designer

is what I'm saying. They're just a nice fit. But they're not a supermarket-owned brand. Yeah. They're just a nice fit. But they're not a supermarket-owned brand. Yeah. They're in between. Yeah. I understand.

But I had that on during the day and then I was like, oh, I said to you, I said I'll go and get me comfies on. I went upstairs and put some tracksuit pants on

and I didn't want to lounge around in that black t-shirt because that's one of me good black t-shirts. Yeah, yeah, I get you. So I put that black t-shirt in the wash

because I'd use it for the day and I put on one of me loungy black t-shirts. That you would probably come on. Which just... No. Which to someone sounds ridiculous

that I took one black t-shirt off. But then the next time I go to put one of me black t-shirts on, I go, is this the one I just lounged around in? Have I stretched it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I totally understand. I'm exactly the same. If I knew most of my clothing

had at one point been used to mop spunk up, I don't think I'd ever feel dressed good. Same. Does that make sense? Absolutely. Do you know what I mean? I completely agree with you. What's next to these perverts listening?

Oh, there's your suit jacket. Just use your suit jacket. Wipe all the spunk off of that. There's your wedding dress in the back of the cupboard. Let's just use that. No, I totally agree. Do you know what? I totally, totally agree.

It's never crossed my mind of all the times in my whole entire life, whatever partner I've been with having sex, I've never thought, oh, I'll just use the top I wore. Yeah. Mankey. Absolutely mankey. You're totally right. Thank you.

Well, that's dealt with. Yeah. That's dealt with. But I still think the pillowcase is worse because they kept it and left it under a bed and it stunk the whole fucking night. Oh, yeah, obviously. I mean, they could have just washed it. Just toilet roll. Wet wipes. Or just have a shower. kept it and left it under a bed and it stunk the whole fucking night. Oh yeah, obviously. I mean, they could have just washed it. Just toilet roll.

Wet wipes. Just have a shower. Cup it. Cup it. Hold it in your slag. Clench. Walk. Drop.

Shower. Good night, everyone. Swallow it. Yeah, swallow it, you prudes. You frigid. I think there's this. Protein that one. Oh, God.

It's one thing about marriage, isn't it? You don't have to swallow gum anymore. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Hi, guys. I've got a Rosie's Mysteries, Mysteries, Mysteries. Get in, get in, get in. Mysteries for you. When I was in high school,

I had some friends round my mum and dad's house and we thought it would be funny to put some make-up on the lads and do them up like drag, which they were surprisingly into. Cool. Nice. When they were taking it off and my face wipes had run out, one of the lads decided he would use water in the bathroom to remove it,

specifically the lipstick. When he came out, his lips were red and he said he'd been scrubbing them with a brush. I looked at him deadly seriously and said, not the brush on the sink. He replied, yes, and I burst out laughing. What was the brush on the sink used for, do you think, Christopher?

Just, I'm sorry, just these people, these people who leave something, something revolting in view, and then you go, I used that thing that should have absolutely been there. That makes sense. And they go, oh my God, you've used the inside of me anus brush that I leave in the toothbrush holder. Why did you use that?

Because it was in the fucking toothbrush holder, you fucking pervert. Oh man. Fucking Jeffrey Dahmer's house. Oh, oh. I'm talking about Jeffrey Dahmer. What do I think? What was the brush for for so it's on the side of the sink something i'm gonna i don't know why this popped in my head is it for brushing the dog's teeth okay right no it's not i'll tell you now dog's arse no dog's ears no dog? No. Dog's cock? No. Dog's feet? Oh, it gets worse.

No. Stop. Please stop. I don't have and never have had a dog, so I don't understand what part of the name is. Do they have cock brushes? I don't know. Probably.

Maybe rich families. I don't get it. Rich families. I just got loads of brushes for stuff. Stuff. Right, okay, the brush. It was my dad's... Oh, God.

...pile cream... Oh! ...finger brush. Oh! What do you mean? Yes, right dad had a specific brush that he used to scrub his fingers, fingernails to be more specific, as he made sure one fingernail was long enough to put the cream on. That's like a fucking coke dealer.

After he had used the cream for his piles, he still uses one to this day. Right. So actually, I think it's a nail brush, but it's her dad's specific... Go put it in a bag. Put it in a bag somewhere. Or put it in a little pot in the sink. Put it in the cupboard. Why is it on the sink? So many questions. One,

your dad is so religiously having to put pile cream on that he needs an aftercare kit and a long nail. Why does he need a long nail? Surely, why does he need a long nail surely why does he need a long nail I think it's for the cream to cup it up like a

fucking like a like a coke dealer yeah yeah yeah like a little oh my god

that was an interesting day when I found out about that the long fingernail yeah yeah yeah erm what what

I well your dad needs to change his diet ok now I've sorry no he needs to change his diet sorry no he needs to change his diet

or he needs to stop pushing so hard why why are you so religiously putting pile cream on that there is a brush afterwards

well now I've read this the second time I thought right when I read this the first time I thought the brush was like

you know like a little finger puppet that you put on you and it had bristles I thought it was a proper why would you be putting well that's what i thought i don't i've never used pile green before i thought it was right now piles are pretty fucking sensitive you don't go okay gorging at them but that's what i mean but now i've read it the second time this is just um this is just a nail brush yeah so just to clarify here right why why is our dad telling

everyone that he uses it for his pile? He could just use that nail brush. Doesn't have to ever mention his piles. Do you know what I mean? Because he's probably said, they've probably said, what's his phone?

He's probably said, don't use that. That's got pile cream and some of me shit on it. And two, Why is it in the communal bathroom? Sorry.

Why is it just out lying around? Next question, why is Mr. Maniac, who's got a bit of lipstick on, brushing it off his lips? Like, what the hell? Like a cartoon? Can you imagine brushing your lips?

Well, he's obviously never had lipstick on before, has he? Fuck, crikey. They're all idiots. Everyone, the police need to burst into this house and arrest forever and throw away the key of everyone involved in this. I told my dad later that night when he found it hilarious. We had a good laugh about it. He still doesn't know at this day what he washed his lips with.

Oh, God. Funny. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Hi, Rosie and Chris. Listen for ages and come to the live show. Woo, can't wait. Please keep me anonymous. See you there.

My friend just asked, Do you think it's weird that when I was a child, I used to put my goldfish in the paddling pool and swim with it? Why is it weird? It's not. I don't know. Is it weird?

It's one of the strangest things I've ever heard. I think it's quite cute. I it i don't know is it weird is it weird i think it's quite cute i mean the goldfish probably fucking petrified like loneliest child in the world can you can you imagine the goldfish chris goldfish is like the rumors are true Nessie! It's terrifying. I can't. You're a lonely child. I'm not that fucking lonely. I was never that lonely.

That's it, ma'am. Ma'am, dad, can I go to the park and make some friends? No, go and have a swim with your goldfish. Mummy and daddy are busy. There you go. Do some laps with your mate. That. One. One. Do some laps with your mate. That. One.

One, you're traumatising that fucking fish every time you do that. That's my first thought is the fish would have been, the fish wouldn't have been like, oh, hello, owner. It'd be fucking terrifying.

It's not like you're taking your dog for a walk. It's not like you're letting your dog run on a field here. You're letting, that is. Two, the fish's water, fish guy talking here, the fish's water, fish guy talking here,

the fish's water is specific with the filter and stuff. They've got a lot of, the right kind of bacteria in the filter. I don't believe that for a second.

How dare you? I just think it's bullshit to make you buy more stuff. Wow. Wow. Goldfish used to, I had a goldfish when I was younger

for about five years. The fuck out, could not die and I swear to God there was no filter, there was no nothing. There was no nothing. Right, yeah. Got it at the fair.

Right, and they realized, they basically realized that it's really fucking cruel to have them in a thing with no filter. Because it's like making you walk around in somewhere where you can't breathe the atmosphere properly. It's like you walk down on Mars and, oh, fucking hell, she didn't live. She died after five years.

Well, they're supposed to live like fucking 10, 12 years or something. So, dick. Really? Okay, all right, sorry. she didn't live she died after five years well they're supposed to live like fucking 10-12 years or something so dick dick really alright sorry traumatising that fish every time and that kid

what a lonely fucking life I can't believe that what if she squished it I mean that's the least of its fucking problems I've told you what I used to do in the bath haven't I

what with the flannel pretend the flannel was a fish pretend the flannel was like and I was hosting like a nature programme yeah yeah the flannel was a fish pretend the flannel was like and I was hosting like a nature program yeah yeah the flannel was a fish

and you were like at my bruh yeah that's sad as well I know but I'm tempted to get Robin one just to be like I used to pretend

I'm not having any flannels in this house there's no flannels going to be in this house I don't care there's too much I'm not having a flannel in my house

I fucking refuse I point blank and refuse to have a flannel in my house but I want him to experience it because I was in the bath for hours. Get my toy fish.

Get my toy fish. Can I get him? No, I'm getting my flannel. You're not getting your flannel. I'm going to go, you just pretend that they're like a little octopus or like a fish

and you're doing your program. I used to have it through my hands. Rosie, the kid's got a Nintendo Switch. No, he's a spider. He's not a spider. He's in a different world.

Ah, kids these days don't know how to pretend for hours that a flannel's a fish. Broken Britain. Fucking news. Shut up, man, will you? He'll be on bin juice in a few years. Drinking bin juice with the rest of them. Broken Britain. What's wrong with pretending a flannel's a fish

and pretending you're David Attenborough? Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah! Hi, please keep me anonymous. Me and my wife are new listeners to the podcast. I enjoy listening

to lots of podcasts but my wife hates them except yours. So pretty much all I've been listening to recently. That's quite good. Fair enough. A very good friend of ours

got drunk one night and divulged that when he was a young lad, he decided to build out of his childhood Lego what he described as a Lego fanny to fuck. Oh, God. There's nothing worse you can make it out of. Oh, Jesus Christ. No, you need to listen to what...

Right, okay, so... Since then, whenever we are out on the piss more often than not the story gets brought up by one of us never the lego builder yeah of course not i often wonder what that abomination of a lego creation would have looked like apparently he used smooth and rounded bricks to reduce injury so you know how some of them have got on the side they've got the two knobbly bits, but then they've got a smooth bit. Don't you dare teach your grandma how to suck eggs here.

I know exactly what bits we're talking about. Right, okay then. Well, he's obviously made the inside of it like that. Jesus Christ. Yeah. Still though, it's shiny plastic. My mate isn't particularly a psychopath, so is this more common than I would like to think?

Was this the early prototype of a fleshlight? What other horrendous things have people made from Lego? These are questions I wish I didn't have. A fanny made of Lego. God almighty. I can imagine, right, that young lads would have made fannies out of a lot of things. Play-Doh.

Kinetic sand. That's disgusting. Play-Doh's a great idea, I thought it'd be fair. I wish I'd thought of that. Is it? Kinetic sand. That's disgusting. Play-Doh's a great idea, I thought it'd be fair. I wish I'd thought of that. Is it? Kinetic sand, that's manky, that like.

Kinetic sand can literally go fuck itself. It's an absolute fucking jip. The worst thing ever. On the advert, it looks absolutely incredible. No, it is quite good if you get it done properly,

you're sitting, but when it gets on the floor, oh Jesus, absolutely not. Slime, slime can fuck off. Yeah. Anyone who buys my kids slime

I've said it before fucking I hate you I absolutely hate you you want one for Christmas sorry sorry really busy just gonna say Chris Merry Chris

gotta go stuff to do Jesus happy Chris happy Chris bye what did you mean it's not husband it's only October

what did you mean I just not husband's what did you mean I just I wish I could see a photo of this Lego fanny I can imagine it I really can see it I can see it I can't I think it's obviously it's me and me by a child who builds Lego and has no idea what I find it'll be a circle

it'll be a circle and nah he's gonna hurt him there's still gonna to be sharp bits. It's like making a fleshlight out of glass. Oh, God. Fucking horrible.

Why has he done that? I don't know. Did he use the rubber bits? Did he wear a condom when he was doing it in case he got pregnant? The Lego babies everywhere. Mum has left us

a little tiny Lego piece. I'm not ready for this. The don't come with an instruction manual they don't son they don't hey listen thanks for listening

to Shag Married Annoyed which is part of the Acast Creator Network yes it is we got a lovely hoodie off Acast the other day and we're going to wear it round the house

I got sent a hoodie and a little bottle and another bottle of water another bottle of water for when I'm doing my podcast to keep hydrated and I'm drinking look forward to me drinking house. I got sent a hoodie, yeah, and a little bottle, another bottle of water. Another bottle of water for when I'm doing my podcast to keep hydrated. Look forward to me drinking out of that next week.

Guys, thank you so much for listening. As always, if you want to get in touch, shagmydenoid at gmail.com. Listen, we go on tour in about a year's time. Shit, the bed, eh?

We've got a year. Most of them almost sold out. Get on it. We've got tour dates all over the place. It's obviously going to be completely different to the first tour. We're starting to put all over the place. It's obviously going to be completely different to the first tour. We're starting to put some ideas.

I had a little idea on the call the other day, didn't I? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm very excited about starting to put stuff together. It's going to be awesome. You're not going to recognise me?

No. Nah. How come? Because I'm going to have loads of surgery. She's going to be wrapping an electric blanket. She's going to come on

an electric blanket with a fucking 45 metre extension cable. It is in the winter. Four pence an hour, this to run, you know it's four pence an hour. Yes, well, you look like someone's nana. Bye. See you.

You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Jimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder, April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit tso.ca. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none.

Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at TorontoRock.com.