Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 200. AD/BC

Episode Date: January 13, 2023

The Ramsey's are back and it's the 200th episode! There's a quiz, there's beefs, a Rosie's Mysteries and even a Strictly debrief!Enjoy Smas and Das and thanks for listening for 200 episodes! Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. No, no, don't. The first omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil. Movie of the year. It's not real.

It's not real. It's not real. Who said that? The first omen. In theaters Friday. Get tickets now. This January, Shagged, Married, Annoyed hits its 200th episode. 200th episode, episode, episode, episode. Starring award-winning comedian and presenter Chris Ramsey.

Oh, put himself first. And featuring... His wife. Hey, guys! Do that again! Dude, that is not what we practiced. That is not what we knew. I love you. It was done. It was done.

It's all good. Hey! Welcome to Shag Married Annoyed with me, Rosie Ramsey, and my husband husband Christopher Ramsey this is our 200th episode 200th episode hey everyone you're stuck with it you're stuck with it

well done seriously you should be proud of yourself should be really proud of ourselves imagine all of us and you everyone

imagine if every time you listened you did something active as well oh gosh imagine that that's good that would be good god there are bloody dogs

that have been walking around here I know crikey thanks dogs yes thanks dogs thanks everyone it's so exciting can you believe there's been 200 episodes of this podcast probably more with off holiday we just worked it out so we've been doing it for four years yeah so we should have recorded it so me and rosie had a painful painful conversation where we both tried to work out 200 divided by 4 was 50 meaning

and there's 52 weeks in a year 52 weeks in a year so yeah so roughly we've done 4 years of it so we're going in our fifth year of doing this shit the beds

do you remember we did that entire first year for free like a couple of months tell you what though tell you what didn't have to skip ads did you

didn't have to skip ads sorry sorry guys I have genuinely missed it hugely and we to skip ads sorry sorry guys I have genuinely missed it and we've been giddy to get back

and do you know what that is a sign that's a nice thing to have in life there's not many jobs that I've ever had that I'm excited to get back to

you're telling me you weren't excited to get back into that gadget shop and put that sumo suit back on do you know what I was young and stupid

yeah I probably was probably was quite buzzing I'd be buzzing for that now. You're kidding me. Yeah, that's true. Robin got one of them alien carrying a child costumes.

I nearly fucking, I nearly put my back out trying to get that on unboxing. He's not enjoyed that as much as I thought he would have. I thought he would love it.

He doesn't like it. So did I. I don't think he gets the joke. Nah. Doesn't get the joke. Doesn't know why people are laughing at him. Doesn't understand

what he's trying to do on it. Yeah. And he just tells, whenever I film it, he just says, stop filming it. And I'm tells us, whenever I film it, he just says, stop filming it. And I'm like, good,

waste, waste of time. Nice one, Santa. So Christmas was fun. Christmas was fun. I hope we all had a lovely time. It's a bit,

it's like sort of, what is it now? The sort of, nearly the, what, 30th, is it the 13th of January? 12th of January.

It's the 13th of the day, if this comes out. Still talking about Christmas, but apologies, because we haven't checked in, we is. Because we had a couple of weeks off didn't we

god forbid finally god damn it it's been awful horrible no of course it's not time off when you're two kids people keep saying to me

did you have a nice a nice relaxed Christmas period did you have a lovely time no who the fuck what are you fucking are you on drugs

who has a relaxed Christmas period it was fucking horrible everyone was ill the kids were here all the time like both of ill. The kids were here all the time. Like, both of them. Every day, they were here. Awful.

No, for one day, we had just Robin. Do you not remember that day? No. No, well, half a day, sorry. Because Rafe stayed out. Because Rafe was really poorly over Christmas. And we went to my Nana's on Boxing Day. So, Rafe didn't come.

Because when he's poorly he's just very rude to people actually and then he just has a horrible time so we've learned from the mistakes

of taking Robin places when he's not being well anyway so Robin stayed with your mum and dad and we just took Robin Grave did sorry sorry Grave stayed

with your mum and dad we just took Robin and then the next day it was just me you and Robin and fuck it's easy isn't it it's actually Harry

so there's a light at the end of the tunnel he's a piss but yeah And then the next day, it was just me, you and Robin. And fuck me. It's easy, isn't it? It's actually how it is. Very easy with a seven-year-old. So there's a light at the end of the tunnel. It's a piss. But yeah, hope you're all good. I forgot to tell you this, Rosie. The other day, I was at the school. How have you forgot to tell us anything? We've spent every week and moment together.

Just, you know, it's busy, isn't it? I was at the school and I said to someone, did you have a nice Christmas holiday? And they said yes but it went too quick and i actually said fuck off in front of kids um because i was so they went yeah it went too quick it goes quick doesn't it i went fuck off do you not think they're lying do you not think people are programmed people are programmed right to have automatic responses of i'm fine yeah do you know what i mean it's like Encanto I'm not fine

I was like when I go up the street and get my car if you're still standing here I'm going to flatten you on the way down because you do not deserve to live with a sentence like that

that is the maddest sentence I've ever heard went too quick well they they clearly hate their job right and we're very lucky that we like our job

we're very lucky that we like our job so to them maybe I should feel bad for them spending time at home with their children running amok,

playing, playing Rapido at half past six in the morning. That's an all-time low in my entire life. And do you know whose fault it was?

Whose? Mine. Because I bought them the fuck out. Some of the stuff that I watched our son open, that Santa,

wink, wink, got him, I thought, this is bother. Yeah. Rapido, never again. Yeah. Got him. I thought, this is bother. Yeah. Rapido. Never again. Yeah.

Never again. Fucking two foot high cardboard fort that you put together yourself. No thanks. Oh, by the way, you can colour it in. Oh, can you? You can colour it in. Can you? It's about 25 fucking square metres, eh?

Colour it in. How many pens you got? Dad, come and colour this in with us. You can fuck off. That was his favourite present. Oh, God. Colour this in with us that was his favourite present oh god colour this in with us we'll just do the leaves

yes we'll just do the leaves son there's 500 leaves per square there's 6 squares forget it I know next year next year I'll be buying it son son

come to the garage I'll get you some spray paint howie come on come with your dad come with your dad we'll spray paint the whole thing come on

I'll take it down the garage down commercial road in South Shields we'll put it in that thing that the paint cars with put it in there and dry it okay now no next year next year there'll be a lot of their one player games oh yeah yeah i got you here's a voucher for the app store sit in the corner oh no because we're limiting screen time. Oh look, guys, it's all good. It has been decent and it's really lovely to be back.

We've got so much to get through, so much to talk about. And without further ado, it is time for our first of the fifth years, our first of our 200th episodes. Comedy has been five years. Exactly. Our comedy was still together. It's been four years. Four years.

Sorry, all right, okay. Anyway. It's not going to be much longer if you keep going on like this your numerical literacy is obviously it's embarrassing it's horrendous Robin's homework the other night

I put it on Instagram which actually fucked us off because I put it on as a joke but I had no idea what it was and then people were like you know when people answer you and you go

I didn't want an answer I want an answer I went to Google this is just a bit of entertainment it was something what was it I can't even remember it was something like

quad quadral angle yeah I had no idea right because things like that just i didn't learn that at school it went passed through my brain it didn't stay if robin knew what it was anyway four sides and four angles so it's well yeah but then people were like remember remember quad and then and then try is for three and then buy is for two and you know when you go well how have you got time how have you got time to answer this you know it all little sod

like get a fucking life people like that really get on my grip my shit however I really do enjoy the people who pointed out like you had a crisp

on your shirt you had a crisp on your shirt and you didn't know that wasn't part of the joke it wasn't it wasn't part of the joke you just had a crisp

on your jumper Pringles get everywhere no no no they don't though that's the point It wasn't part of the joke. You just had a crisp on your job. Pringles get everywhere. No, no, no, they don't though. That's the point, they don't. They do. They're very fragile. They're a very fragile crisp. Normal people,

just pop a little Pringle in your mouth, chew it up, swallow, on to the next Pringle. You, Mrs. fucking Nosebarg over here, swear to God. Don't speak to me about it. Like a napalm strike.

Chris, I have not stopped eating. I lost quite a bit of clem over before Christmas. I was looking good. People even commented, Rosie, looking a bit slim. And I was like, thank you very much. Put it all back on. Dreadn seeing people.

Because they'd be like, whoa, that lasted a week. I've just not, I've just ate nonstop. The kids got so much chocolate. So many. And when there's chocolate in the house. You actually said to me.

I had three whispers. In concession, three fucking whispers. You've got no fucking self-control. I know, I've got a problem You actually said to me... And three whispers? In concession, three fucking whispers? You've got no fucking self-control. I know, I've got a problem. You said to me the idea, which was a total impossible task. You said, this chocolate, Chris, you need to put it somewhere where Robert can get it,

but I can't get it. Well, what I meant was, because after tea, he has a little thing from Christmas, every night after tea, you can choose from the Halloween box, right? Yeah. But just as long as you know where it is

but I don't know where it is but when he wants it you can get it for him Chris we'll have to do it because I'm just going to eat it all I'm going to eat

it all I don't even like double deck hasn't I had two the other day honestly Chris I've got a problem and it's not good oh god

oh fucking hell you're just a greedy you're just a greedy it's not I just can't if it's there you're just a greedy fucker I'll eat it you're just a greedy fucker. It's not. I just can't. If it's there... You're just a greedy fucker. I'll eat it. You're a greedy fucker.

Eating the greedy fucker. And I'm a greedy fucker. And you're a greedy fucker. You're just a greedy fucker. Listen. What are you saying? It is time for this first of the 200th episodes' lucrative, lucrative sponsor.

Brilliant. Are you all ready for the lucrative sponsor? This lucrative, lucrative, first lucrative, lucrative sponsor of 2023 is... I thought it was a good one. Motivational posts of how to have

the best possible 2023. Oh, there it is. Oh, how to have a good year. Oh, make,

hey, that's 23 rules in, everyone. Oh, make sure you eat well. Yeah, yeah, fair enough.

Yeah, I'll do that. Oh, exercise regularly. Oh, yeah, good, good advice.

I'll do that, yeah. Take some time every day for you. Well, I'll try, mate, but it seems like, yeah. Good, good advice. I'll do that, yeah. Take some time every day for you. Well, I'll try, mate, but it seems like we're living separate lives here. The first new rule is that... Read a book a day.

Mate, you are taking the fucking piss here. What are you talking about? Take a painting. Mate, this is written by someone from a different planet. These are unattainable. These might as well say visit the fucking moon once a week. Do you know what I mean?

Take a painting. Oh, it's just fucking people. I get it. I understand. But everyone now is a fucking, everyone is a motivational fucking social media guru. You know why? What? Everyone's fucked.

Yeah, but everyone's a social media guru now. And it's all, I just feel like it's written by people with so much time on that. It's like meditate for an hour and then do this. And then walk. I get 90,000 steps a day and then you go, I can't do all this. I've got kids.

I know. This is madness. Do you know, I'm telling you now, do you know the answer to all of the, everyone's stresses and everyone's things like this

and worrying, contentment. Yeah. Learned, and this is me being a bit serious here, right? But I did this years ago. I don't want you to be serious

on this podcast. Well, I am. Learn to just be content with what you've got and look at what you've got and go, do here, right? But I did this years ago. I don't want you to be serious on this podcast. Well, I am. Learn to just be content with what you've got. And look at what you've got and go, do you know what? I've got this. I've got this lovely home. I've got these lovely kids. I've got this.

Just be content. And I think that's all you need. You don't need to go for a fucking three-hour walk every day. You don't need to meditate at six o'clock in the morning when your kids are rattling on the door and you're trying to have a piss by yourself. I don't think anyone with kids is meditating at six o'clock in the morning. Some people do.

So just be content. Well, don't get me wrong. Like that doesn't help. I know what you mean. So you mean it's relative to everyone. You mean like be content with your own thing. Just be content with your own thing and don't... Okay, so...

Come off social media if you can't deal with what... Because I find it really hard on Instagram watching everyone do loads of fun stuff with their kids because I say I find it hard watching people who don't have kids do loads and loads of fun stuff

well I know that's your that's your thing because I'm like I don't think you should have had kids look you two on a long fucking walk with your dog yeah

oh is that nice is it oh where you go to the pub afterwards oh I bet that's great going home to watch Netflix you've got a fucking joke on your fucking pub grub you cunt so speaking of contentment

yes but Rosie but what they're laughing at though because we have a right laugh at the kids should you You've got fucking chalk on your fucking pub, grub you cunt. So, speaking of contentment, Rosie. Yes, but what they're laughing at though, because we have a right laugh at the kids. Should you, speaking of contentment, should you possibly be content with maybe two whispers? Or maybe one double decker? No, it's not. That's in the wrong context.

No, no, no. That's the wrong context. It might be bullshit. Listen, I can fix it. I can fix everyone's 2023. Because I've seen so many of these and I've been annoyed by them, I've come up with my own list of things to make

your 2023 brilliant mine personally for everyone this is me as my own guru putting it out there I've got a platform people listen to what we say

right so I'm putting it out there don't listen to the guys who are telling you the medicine I've got the best ones here for you okay then ready yeah

okay save a horse from a fire oh yeah where's a horse getting in a fire well save it right

great call a dog mate right that's attainable that's quite cool hello I'd do that anyway hello mate sorry mate

that's already cheered me up erm say can you do mine next to a neighbour as they wash their car I don't... These don't make any sense.

Those are just little things for you, yeah. Right. Stub your toe once a week. Fuck that. No one's wanting that. What, is that to make you appreciate when you haven't got a stubbed toe? Okay, right, understandable. Take five minutes a day to scream into a pillow.

I'd already do that. Call yourself a cunt in the mirror every morning when you wake up. A lush cunt. Just a cunt. Alright. Good. So then when other people do it

you've done it already yourself. Yeah. Alright. Learn what an adaptogen is. Sort of written down. Don't know what it is. What is it? Don't know.

I'm going to learn though. Say it again. I've got until December. Say it again. Adaptogen. Adaptogen. I think it's in that athletic green stuff that I drink. It's got adaptogens say it again I've got until December say it again adaptogen adaptogen I think it's in that athletic green stuff

that I drink it's got adaptogens but I don't know what they are right great kick a pigeon meet a cowboy they can't say

kick a pigeon anyone likes pigeons meet a cowboy I'd love to meet a cowboy by a VHS player why why not are you alright yeah last one this is the best one okay By a VHS player. Why? Why not?

Are you alright? Yeah, last one. This is the best one. Okay. Spell your full name from just one bag of Alphabytes. Oh, impossible. It's impossible? Well, that kind of attitude, you're going to have a shit 20-23.

Alphabytes, honestly, shit. What did I have to spell out? I have to spell out tit for it. It's the only word I could do. Half a bag left. I mean, he doesn't know what it means, but I'll just put tit. I mean, it made me laugh.

There you go. There's my year made. Forgot about that. There you go. So, good luck, everyone. That's how you have a good year. For me. There you go.

Let's take out the kick the pigeons. There's a lot of them around where we live. What? You think they're going to come and have a go year for me there you go let's see how they kick the pigeons because well there's a lot of them around where we live what you think they're gonna come and have a go mate alright mate we uh

we'll come and egg the house literally do you ever egg in people's houses no never oh

did you mistake houses lads lads we've got a new year new me Do you ever egg in people's houses? No, never did. Oh, did you mistake houses? Lads, lads, we've got her. No, new year, new me. New year, new me, lads. Back off. Oh, wait, we haven't fought much fun.

This is now officially the longest internet I've ever had. Lads, we've got her. Oh, I'll tell you what. Shall we talk about my favourite bits of the podcast? No. That's up there. That makes me laugh. Lads, we've got her.

Lads, we've got her. Yeah, yeah. Shall we put a jingle on? Why not? Yeah, let's up there. That makes me laugh. Lads, we've got to. Lads, we've got to. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, good. Shall we put a jingle on? Why not? Yeah, let's do it. Here's the first jingle of the 200th Double Century series. I don't know what I'm saying. Bye.

Bye. Oh, hello. Hello. We had a fight about the jingle, jingle. We couldn't settle on a jingle, jingle. So this is the jingle, jingle. we hope you like the jingle, jingle, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bap, jingle! Hello and welcome back to the 200th episode of Shrek, Mare and Annoyed. Lovely to have you back.

Yeah, we were going to do some exciting stuff, we did talk about it, but do you know what's really tricky with us? What? Because we're married, and this is our job. Like, in another job, I think I'd have organised something, and I'd have gone, right, well, we'll do it.

But because we're married, actually having to organise things is really shit. So apologies for that. Well, we're going to do a plonk cast, but we'll now record during the day mainly, so I don't fancy getting a taxi to go and pick my kids up from school, because I'm going to be pissed.

That would look quite bad, wouldn't it? That pretty bad um and uh we're gonna do like a live one but like you said just they're not great to listen to live well ah some well because as a podcast listener if there was a live episode i don't think i'd listen i've listened to a few before and you can't hear them properly and you're not there in the moment and i was like this 200 is more about for everyone else who's listened. And we've got the tour.

If you want to come and watch the live record of the tour. Yeah, exactly. Get yourself on it. So there you go. And that was an accidental plug. I didn't even mean

to plug the tour there but we did it. Just done it. Just done it. Well done. And all that shit about 2023 as well, by the way,

if your year hasn't started, I've been ill until today. Yeah. My year started off like a piece of shit. I've accidentally done dry January for half of January. Well, you haven't had a drink. Yeah. I haven't had one either. Because I felt so shit because everyone's been ill. till today yeah my year started off like a piece of shit i've accidentally done dry january for half of january well you haven't had a drink yeah i haven't had one either felt so shit because

everyone's devastated um so don't worry about like because i this weird oh by the way all of them things alpha bites and that i'd lay at three o'clock in the morning writing them down half delirious on my phone because i was i was so excited that i wasn't ill anymore, that I couldn't sleep. Do you ever have that? No. Wow. No, you're ridiculous. Honestly. When you're ill, I hate you.

I hate you. And then when you get better, I hate you even more. Wow. Because it's like you're recovering from a terminal illness. I swear to God, right? And you're like, oh. I get so depressed when I'm ill. I get so angry.

Like, do you ever, everyone listening, right? Do you ever get, when you're lying in bed not well right do you ever hear someone else like someone outside on their phone or someone laughing and i fucking hate them for being okay we're not a good at being ill i'm not i'm not a good i'm not i've never been good at being i can't just sit and chill like i remember i told you the other day i was driving along and uh i was i was feeling a bit rough in the car and i'm driving along. Again, not of alcohol, I just didn't feel well. And a guy, like a grown-up chav,

he must have been our age, but he looked like he'd just been down the amusement stealing ten pences off people. And he sort of strutted out in front of the car, and he walked across the road. And I looked at him, and I was jealous. I was like, look at how well you are. He's like, look at the fucking spring in your step, mate.

I was like, honestly, I hated him, because he was fine. He'd done nothing wrong. And you know what, I like, look at the fucking spring in your step, mate. I was like, you can, honestly, I hated him because he was fine. He'd done nothing wrong and he'd probably, you know, I see Adil Chava, Adil Chava, he'd probably be in the gym

or something. He was dressed like, you know, I just thought, you are never ill. Look at you. I bet you're never ill. Picture of hell.

And he probably is ill but in that moment, I was so angry. It's crazy. Because you can't see it. I'm pathetic. I can't, honestly,

but last night, I was just so excited but what i was saying was if you're worried about your 2020 if it hasn't started great who cares the new year it's completely fucking arbitrary and you can start tomorrow who cares that's the only bit of seriousness you're getting out of me today don't hang on it's all over social media how's your start get off to a good start look at it fucking just get through let's all journal it get through it right just get through it. Yeah, just survive. Contentment, I'm telling you, man.

Just learn to be happy with what you've got. And obviously, I don't know, it's weird, isn't it? Because it's good to strive for more. But sometimes the striving for more is unattainable. But listen, speaking of striving for more, because it's the 200th episode, I think you need to strive to 100% get everything correct on a quiz at some point in your life. Have you done a quiz? I've done you a quiz. What the hell? I everything correct on a quiz at some point. Have you done a quiz?

And I've done you a quiz. What the hell? I've done you a quiz. Look, are you doing work? I don't have time off. For the 200th episode, I've done you a quiz. And if you play your cards right, you can be, you can ace this quiz. Could I?

You can get every single question right. Okay. I guarantee it. When we're doing it? Do you want to do it now? I'd love to do it now. I feel like we're rattled on. I mean, the amount of beefs I've got from two weeks with you.

Wow. Should we double beef it this week to kick it off? Because I've got two beefs for you as well. No, no, we'll just single it. Okay, then. We'll keep them for the rest of the week. We've actually been getting on all right.

Haven't we? Don't you think? Nah, yeah, to be fair. We have. To be fair, for a couple who work together constantly and do as much as we do together to then have two weeks off with our kids

and not have murdered each other, I think we've done quite well. High five. High five. Love love you high five for not murdering each other right ready for your quiz yes okay here it is to celebrate the 200th episode of shag married annoyed i'm giving the self-confessed worst quizzer on the planet yeah rosie ramsey i'm giving you what i call the 200 quiz. Oh, okay. It's the 200 quiz. It's the 200 questions. There's not 200 questions. There's not 200 questions. No one's got that kind of time on their hands.

People just switched off. Don't worry, there is not 200 questions. But it's the 200 quiz. But is it all to do with 200? Play your cards right, and you will get every single question. Why are you pointing at us so aggressively? Because I've got it right in here.

Sorry, you can't see this, but I've got my finger right in our face here, guys. They don't do that on the quiz shows. Well, that's why they're all... Stephen Merchant doesn't bloody point at people does he Stephen Merchant does not host

a quiz show he hosts loads of them Stephen Merchant oh what's his name brilliant what's his name Mulhern Stephen Mulhern

there we are I alright what am I catching right so terrible Merchant impressing

apologies you knew what I meant co-creator of the office Stephen Merchant host of tip and

quid shows well not that there's anything wrong with host of quid shows but you know what I mean now

this is where they're going wrong Bradley Walsh needs to get up with people's faces on the chase and

really fucking wag his index finger like I'm doing for you so last time I'm going to tell you it's the two in the quiz stop it are you ready i am ready here you go play along at home if you like okay are you ready wish i had quiz music question not

allowed it costs money move on question number one in what year bc did construction of the great wall of china begin before christ in what year bc did construction of the great Wall of China begin? Before Christ? In what year, B.C., did construction of the Great Wall of China begin? The Great Wall of China was built before Christ? Yes. Shit.

In what year, B.C., did construction of the Great Wall of China begin? Is B.C. before Christ? Guys, we've hit a fucking speed bump already everyone at home i'm still listening now i'm still confused if you're listening you can see what i'm trying to do here i don't understand what you're doing right what year was the great wall of china bc why are you adding bc because that's what makes the year that Right. Because you've just got to add a number to the year. I don't understand how years work, right?

Question number one, you've already... You've literally... You've hit me bad. Good job it's not a speed round. What's the word? Were you about to call it your Achilles heel? My Achilles heel. One, I've had to finish a sentence for you.

Two, you claiming that you've only got one Achilles heel is hilarious. Right. Right. I'm going to ask you again. Oh, fuck me. It's the 200 quiz, Rosie. In what year B.C. did construction of the Great Wall of China begin?

15. Fuck me. I don't understand. The 200 quiz, Rosie. In what year? Oh, 200. Bang. Correct.

In what year? So, hang on. Was it before? Right. What? B.C.? Before Christ? Before Christ. So, the Great Wall of China was it before... Right, what's BC? Before Christ? Before Christ.

So the Great Wall of China was made before Jesus? Yes. By different people, I think, as well. Different companies made Jesus and the Great Wall of China. What's the dinosaur era called? Oh my God, I've got to know this one. Oh my God, that is it. I think I'm going to kill myself.

It's really complicated. Right, just tell us after. It doesn't matter. No, no, no no come on so great wall of china and all that stuff that's recorded history even bc is recorded history right because there's a record of it um dinosaurs were millions and millions and millions of years like so long ago it would make you it would make your fucking eyes water no paper nothing no paper no diaries no calendars no pins to put the calendars on the walls with. That was the worst bit.

Calendars were just on the floor. T-Rexes were walking on them. So the Flintstones isn't real. Humans and dinosaurs never coexisted, ever. She's coughing, she's lost it. Right, okay. No, it's just something, I'm not even trying to be,

I'm not trying to be funny. Years and the timeline of history is something that I very much struggle with, which you'll see on a quiz show, which I did a very few months ago, which hasn't been on the telly yet. And I'm wondering whether it's ever going to be on. Probably not going to be on.

Anyway. Now. Oh, don't. My second question. Okay. Second question. In what year, A.D.,

Anno Domini, the year of our lord after christ ad after christ is not ac no you went to a catholic i know i did bc is before christ yes then for some reason they change it after christ is born it's anno domini which means in latin is the year of our lord so then everything was on a starry night when the hills were bright for a boy was born king of all the world come on and all the angels if all of my lessons were in song form it doesn't have done better. It doesn't matter. Let's crack on. We'll do something else. No, come on. What is it? AD. After Dominoes.

After Dominoes! After Dominoes! Everyone was really sluggish. It was after Dominoes. Everyone was full, thirsty, stunk of garlic, hands were greasy. But the bane was alright. In what year, AD, did Clement of Alexandria denounce the use of musical instruments to accompany human voices in Christian churches? 200.

There we go. This is the easiest quiz ever. Are you fucking joking me? Easiest quiz ever. Well, all the answers are 200, clearly. Henry 8 Sergiev Henry 8 927 Henry Sergiev became the first person

to drive a car over a kilometre over a kilometre course at an average speed greater than what speed mile per hour 200 each side

of the main square in Krakow Poland is how many metres long 200 the 200th episode of South Park is called 200

what is the number after 199 and before 201? Oh, 200. Final question here. Final question. You're doing really well.

I got excited about a quiz. This is shit. Final question here. You're doing really, really well. It's a little different from this, right?

Concentrate. You ready? C, 200. 200. Congratulations, Rosie. You've done it.

Thank you. You've aced a quiz. She's still happy. She's still smiling. 200 congratulations you've done it thank you you've aced a quiz she's still happy she's still smiling that was horrendous that wasn't even a quiz that was just a fact

that was a fact factoid moment apologies about that everyone factoid moment that was shit she was doing beefs

are you still buzzing that you won the quiz though no not really I didn't understand most of the questions Oh, you're still buzzing that you won the quiz, though? No, not really. I didn't understand most of the questions. I think I need to just have... I think when Robin, as much as I hate his homework, I think going forward, I'm going to learn again. I don't think I learned at that age.

I think I would learn better now. Does that make sense? Yes. What was AD stand for again? No, just tell us one more time. Anodomini. Anodomini. I'm sure it was Anodomini. You've done that thing again? Just tell us one more time. Anno Domini. Anno Domini. I'm sure it was Anno Domini. You've done that thing now where you've made this fucking thing.

No, no, I recognise it. I've heard it before in church. I used to go every week, you know. I used to serve on the altar. Fucking used to piss about on the altar by the sounds of things. Anno Domini. Jesus Christ. Sorry. Don't take his name in vain. I think you'll find I'm a very. Jesus Christ. Sorry. Don't take his name in vain. I can't. You'll find I'm a very,

I'm a devout Catholic. We've got to this point in the podcast and I've just realised we haven't talked about Strictly. The Christmas special, the notoriously overmarked Christmas special. It was very overmarked.

Oh, there was fucking tens there was tens kicking about on that show like I've never seen I know

they had fucking six or seven digs at me while I was there that was good oh that's all I sometimes worry you know because people who listen

to the podcast know our relationship oh anyone who thinks that's anyone who thinks I'd be upset by that but anyone who doesn't might have watched that and gone god she's really horrible to her husband do you know what i mean and so there's probably give and take millions of people in the country right now think i'm not that bitch well they're gonna listen to this because i just literally devised a quiz where

every single answer was 200 just so you could get quizzes right because you're stupid so it's fine um oh god it was so fun to be there and so fun to watch. And it was brilliant. But yeah, I mean, there was more tens given out in that episode. I know. But it's Christmas. And do you know what? You were good.

Someone said to me, I saw someone recently in the wall, like, hey, she was much better than you. And I was like, I know. Yeah. I knew that before she fucking went there. Or somebody else said, what did they say? I was cocky. Overconf that before she fucking went there. Level though, somebody else said, what did they say? I was cocky, overconfident.

She was too cocky. I enjoyed you much more than Strictly, Chris, because she was just too cocksure. Can it win? Can it win? I tell you what, I'm going to go on, but I'm going to be really, I'm going to be really unconfident

and I'm going to hide behind this. To be fair, you had one dance. You only had one dance, one chance. One chance, one dance. One chance. And do you know what it is, Chris? I'm not going to lie, i went i went over the top because i just i was just so excited to be there so excited to do it it was a very intense dance and if i didn't give it 100 i'd have died um the hardest bit

of the whole the whole strictly experience was talking to tess after really because you can't breathe yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but did you do that thing where when it's the um when the crowd are all there for the first time if you're doing it you just you get oh i went ridiculous yeah i mean i made a couple of mistakes and i just did i just went everyone listening if you've got the time go back and watch any of my sort of um upbeat dances that i did on strictly especially especially Blackpool when I did Uptown Funk Blackpool on a samba

a samba? salsa fuck knows there's moments in all of the dances where Karen puts her hand flat on me chest

and she looks us in the eye and that's basically calm down you stupid fucking Labrador puppy you're off speed you're far too excited

because there's people here we're performers man you can barely do it just concentrate you're useless anyone who's seen the tour will know yeah yeah yeah Chris and I get very excited

when there's a live audience it's what we do it's what we're born to do so I did I got very excited you did very well thanks very well done

second I believe you came I think so in the unofficial leaderboard well there we go it was very good but everyone was lovely it was a really nice But everyone was lovely.

It was a really nice time. I had a lovely experience. Won't be doing the main show. No. It's gruelling. Absolutely exhausting. Now you know why I looked like I was going to die every night. Yeah, it is exhausting. Neil was lush.

Neil was mint. Dead canny. Neil's the best. Had a lovely little old time. So there you go. Thanks very much. Debrief done. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool that's pretty cool

that both of us have experienced Strictly Come Dancing not many couples can say that I mean you dipped your toe in I did very much you're not

you're not a top flight athlete who can do the full run listen semi-finalist can't right now the kids are too young but when they get a bit older

if Strictly's still on who knows never say never I did say still on who knows never say never I did say no quite quickly there never say never but not ask us although I did say

you're too cocksure I told Stefan you know who books the show I was like so once we get paid I haven't been paid for it yet actually I was like once I get paid

you're getting blocked you are fully getting blocked she was like laughing I was like no you are don't ring me. Don't text me. Nothing.

Go on then. I'll do it again because Rosie won't. Go on then. No, no, no. Nah, too cocksure. Can't win in that world. It's a, I don't know. It's a minefield world.

You know, you've got to, is this a weird thing to talk about on here? But I think we can because we're both kind of in this world now. I'm in it as well. I'm in it. Just people's opinions is mental. I like being in our little lane. I like being in this lane of us and doing what we do.

And if people like it, great. And if you don't like it, you don't have to listen. But the fact that everyone just loves to tell people how much they fucking hate them, it's really damaging. Well, I think someone summed up our little lane quite perfectly after you did So and Be. So at the end of So and Be, you do a song and everyone's dancing. Well, I think someone summed up Our Little Lane quite perfectly after you did So and Be. So at the end of So and Be, you do a song and everyone's dancing.

Oh, yeah. And someone tweeted, one of the best tweets of the fucking year, saying, people who understand, people who listen to Shagmari Noid watching So and Be, oh, of course, Rosie's singing. People who don't, what the fuck is this woman singing for?

Basically. In my defence, they asked me to sing. Yeah, it's, and I know it's part of the job, I me to sing yeah it's and I know it's part of the job I get it but it's not a nice part of the job at all

just people just telling you just just show us shit so shit oh god what the god

hell scraping the barrel how do you think I felt man when I did when I did Strictly man the one week I did a good dance

on Strictly the one week that everyone was like that was amazing was me me mean me and deck oh yeah let's get ready to rumble pj and duncan i got everyone across the board decks tweeters loads of celebs loads of people are tweeting i'm trending on twitter everyone's like it's fucking great he did really well the fucking bloke from coyote ugly tweet oh Adam Garcia he was like it shouldn't be marked highly it's not a

I was like fucking the dude from Coyote everyone else is fucking loving us this is the one

week I've enjoyed myself and the bloke from Coyote Ugly has popped his fucking head up to have a date what a fucking

weird life I know Christ alive I never understand why people feel the need to spout their opinions and tag you in them it's weird so weird I never understand why people feel the need to spout their opinions

and tag you in them it's weird so weird part and parcel of the job but it's not nice and as a normal human being it's a

you don't go you guys listen and don't go to work and have people just tell you your shit three times a day it's not a healthy way to live if that is a service

you're after I am available contact me management I would love that I'll bring you three after, I am available, contact me management. I would love that. I'll ring you three times a day and tell you how shit you are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not a problem.

Not a problem. For a nominal fee. And then we'll tell you at the end, we'll end it with kindness and love, which is what most of them have on their profiles. Send in praise. So, so weird. You're invited to an immersive listening party led by rishi kesh her way the visionary behind

the groundbreaking song exploder podcast and netflix series this unmissable evening features her way and toronto symphony orchestra music director gustavo jimeno in conversation together they dissect the mesmerizing layers of stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder. April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit TSO.ca. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Center for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care.

From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca.

Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play come along for the ride and punch your ticket to rock city at torontorock.com just before we get into the beefs here just a little uh little behind the scenes snippet um rosie ramsey just lent in and sniffed a jumper and said my jumper smells of damp. And then referred back to a moment where she

walked into a room earlier on and asked me if I'd farted and then walked out, claiming it was a jumper she could smell. Well, yes, fair enough, but I'm just going to say this, this is one of my beefs, but remember when you went out drinking with Jason Cook a couple of weeks ago and you came into the sitting room where I'd been sat all night and you went out drinking with jason cook a few a couple of weeks ago and

you came into the sitting room where i'd been sat all night and you went have you shit yourself do you remember and i was like what you are like it stinks of shit in here and i was like oh my god how i was like no how rude you'd sat in your own fort and you hadn't even realized that you fought and you sat down and it was surrounding you and you said it was me because then i smelled it and i was like that's you what a ridiculous thing to say it's very arrogant isn't it it is a very arrogant thing to smart fart i had sorry i have a smell on you and go to someone else you farted is that yeah you're going that's fucking i felt terrible yeah sorry about that anyway anyway it's time for what's your beef what is your beef ladies first as it is 2023 AD.

My beef with you, Christopher Ramsey. And I've got one word and one word only. This is one of picking out of all of the beef that you've had over Christmas holidays. Yes, I've got a lot. But this is the main one. Okay. Segway. Rosie.

You know who you're married to. Segway. You know who you're married to. So for Christmas, Robin's big present was was a is it called a segway like a hoverboard thing a little segway hoverboard thing and you can put it on his seat and you can

it's like a little go-kart thing right Robin hasn't really been able to play on it much because his dad's been on it most of the time to the point where Robin has come over

to me going mum he's on it again I want to go on it and I've had to say Chris that's the Ben's present not yours

yeah honestly what's wrong with you well you knew who you married you knew when we met that I was a segway guy

you knew this from the start just ridiculous look it's amazing it is good I've never witnessed anything so cool in all my life um we've got a little corridor that's tiled that wouldn't go up and down on it it's the best thing ever fuming i didn't get one absolutely amazing can't believe i've lived my whole life without having one so far they've been there and i've just like oh i've seen people fall

over and you've been framed on them and just thought fucking idiots nah and do you know what in my defence I'm fucking amazing on it no you're icky as fuck on it that's the problem I'm amazing

no no no no guys picture this he looks me square in the eyes and then he points and he puts his lip in like David Brent off the office

and he points in that direction and then he whizzes off and it's vile Chris and I can dab and spin around on the spot while dabbing that's not then he whizzes off and it's vile, Chris. And I can dab and spin around on the spot while dabbing. That's not sexy. I don't know what is.

It's not sexy. I think you don't understand what sexiness is. If you think me, 36 years old, in my pyjamas, right, with little tiny little piss dribbles

on the front of me, on my front of my pyjama pants, of a box in the morning, right, dabbing in the kitchen and spinning around you know with some kind of merch t-shirt your seven-year-old's crying yeah if you don't think that is sexy i don't know why we are living a lie you're always wearing a merch top you always wear merch tops

like we get 10 free t-shirts chris just wears them guys anything anything we have advertised on this podcast you guarantee they've sent us a t-shirt and you guarantee i have that t-shirts Chris just wears them guys anything we have advertised on this podcast you guarantee they've sent us a t-shirt and you guarantee I have that t-shirt on possibly once a week I don't know

I don't know what it is I love them you've got so many nice t-shirts I've got really lovely t-shirts in my own personal collection of t-shirts but I've always

just got a merch top on I'm surprised this one I'm wearing is not a merch top Chris I wear the same outfits just over and over again yeah honestly but no I won't even apologise

for the segue it's fucking mint and honestly I'm better on it than Robin and he doesn't deserve it well listen maybe next Christmas

Santa might bring you one do they do adult faster ones probably that's how we died my beef with you

missus right is the other day we were having a lovely family game of hide and seek my beef with you missus right is the other day we were having a lovely family game of hide and seek

remember this I do yeah trying to whittle away the old Christmas holidays having a lovely little game of family hide and seek oh god you were hiding with Rafe

and then I was hiding with Rafe and then you were hiding and then Robin decided that he wanted me to hide and all of you to find me right so I went and found a really good hiding space and I hid you were hiding the three and then Robin decided that he wanted me to hide and all of you to find me right so I went and

found a really good hiding space and I hid in my hiding space and you looked for a little while and then I heard Robin shout a few

times and I'm doing the whistle I do a little whistle so he knows he sort of gets a clue to where I am and then I just

heard a more and more angry you shouting just going Chris right right, right. Chris, right. That's enough now. That's enough.

Chris, come on. And I'm thinking, what the hell? Is something wrong? And I'm listening. And Robin's still looking. And Rafe's still looking. And you came in and found me contorted in the back of a wardrobe with my knees in my fucking mouth.

I was in pain, right? But it was a bloody good hiding place. It was too good. And you came in. And I don't know if you remember exactly what you said. tortured in the back of a wardrobe with my knees in my fucking mouth yeah i was in pain right it was a bloody good hiding place it was too good and you came in and i don't know if you remember exactly what you said but you said something along the lines of right pack this in now this you're getting time off the kids here you're getting time to yourself get out of this hiding place now and come and do some parenting and i couldn't believe what I was hearing. It's too much alone time. Be better at fucking hide and seek then. Be better at hide and seek.

I can't be arsed. I can't be arsed. Alone time. I was literally lying on my back in a cupboard with fucking my knees in my mouth. I was seething. Behind some clothes. I was seething.

Time off. You're Len right anyway. You're getting time off. Get out of this cupboard now and come and do some fucking parenting. Couldn't believe it. Yeah, that was only the other day, though. We were at the end of the tether.

Couldn't believe it. Couldn't believe it. You're funny. Eek. Muscly. Can't even hide. Can't even hide in my own house without getting the clock.

Clock shook at us. Clock back in for work. It's time for questions from the public. Questions from the public. Public. Public. As always, me loves, if you want to get in touch, shaggedmoudanoid at gmail.com.

Would you like a little ick? Absolutely. To start off the new year. Ick-solutely. Oh, well done. Well done. Right. Half works. Hi, Rosie and Chris. Did the food shop with my boyfriend today ick-solutely well done well done right half works

hi Rosie and Chris did the food shop with my boyfriend today and we went to the self-service checkout as usual however whenever he scanned

a loose item of fruit or veg he threw it up into the air and caught it in one hand before passing it to me to put in the bag in the area ick that's something you would do oh I get that

I can see that straight away that's absolutely something you would do yeah yeah yeah oh god vile can you remember that I don't know if we've even talked about in the podcast

that phase that I went through of having to flip a glass every time you don't do that anymore thank god every time you got a drink or a glass of water

you'd get a glass out of the cuphead and you'd flick it and they'd catch it like a flare oh that was why did you do that I don't know I like the danger

horrendous it's part of the danger of it. Horrendous. It's part of the danger of my life. Got a very boring life, I just put a bit of excitement in it. That's ridiculous. I've got another one here. Great. It's like an ick, but it's actually, it just really made us laugh. Basically, I just choose things that make me laugh,

and I hope they make you laugh too. Hi there, Ramsey crew. So, I unlocked a memory this past festive season when chatting with friends about icks we've all icked over the years. I don't know if I'm okay. I think I'm icked by the phrase unlocked a memory. Are you? Yeah.

What are you playing on, a fucking game? Sometimes you unlock a memory. I've just never heard it. It sounds a bit wanky. I don't mind it. Nah, okay. The jury's out on that one. It's big of you

who says devil's ava no what is it devil's avocado on the regs that's monkey I don't want that I also say

what was the other thing I also say oogie doogie oogie dook I say good grief oh see you are you're a walker Nick you

with a capital I walker Nick I remember that about 10 years ago I was in the midst of one of those mild office crushes. You know the ones.

You're pretty sure you fancy each other and both know nothing is going to come of it. But it's fun to flirt a bit to make work a bit less shite and boring. Fair enough. Yeah, I get it. Do what you can to get through. Well, one day this dude went out on his lunch break to get some food with some of our colleagues. On their return, there was much kerfuffle around him and I went to check it out. of our colleagues. On their return,

there was much kerfuffle around him and I went to check it out. Turns out, he'd been hit in the head by a pound coin that someone had thrown out of a fast-moving van window. Jesus! Well, obviously that was it for me. Or should I say, ick for me. Dickhead!

He was genuinely hurt and had to fill out an injury form. Of course he was! But who gets hit on the head with a pound coin? Oh, it's his fault. I mean, really. It's his fault. It's his fault. Oh, God.

That person going past in the van, throwing the coin, literally took his sexiness away in one go. What a superpower. I kind of get it. I weirdly get it. I kind of get it. Like, oh, what's happened? What are you crying about?

Someone threw a quid at us. Sorry, what? Someone in a van, a man in a van threw a pound at me. All right, okay. Are you all right? Not really. Really dangerous, aren't you? Do you know what it is, actually?

Because it can't a penny kill you from a high building. I don't know if that's true, but I imagine it would hurt like fuck. But I watched an episode... I've lived my whole life thinking that's true, so I've literally told the birds. What's the thing everyone says? If you drop a penny off the Empire State Building, it'll hit you, it'll go all the way through your body.

Go all the way through your body? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've envisaged it. Crack the paving stone. It's true? I don't know if it's true. We probably should... Shall we quickly Google it?

Let's have a look. Can a penny drop from the Empire State building kill you myth dropping a penny from the top of the empire state building is dangerous you probably heard someone say how if you drop a penny off the top of the empire state building it will accelerate to such a speed that if it struck someone would kill them this simply isn't true at all not by a long shot that's right because i suppose it can only reach a certain terminal velocity for its weight versus how long it's called. I'm sick of this shit.

I'm sick of being told this shit my whole entire life. And then I say it verbatim. Whatever. Whatever. You've never said anything verbatim in your entire life, I tell you that. Including verbatim, which is hilarious. But any of these myths is good, though. Keep you in check.

I've been at the top of the Empire State Building do you know how many pennies I threw? just a little handful not loads I had a suitcase of them I only threw like 20

I was worried good for you good for you no I I watched an episode of Mythbusters though where I remember that

it's an amazing show yeah where they threw they've got two cars going towards each other it took them loads of time I don't it what started the myth but it was throwing a coke can out of one car into another moving car and they missed so many times they were going up and down this runway and they missed loads and loads of times to the point where that had to put

it in like a fucking drain pipe and just fire it in a straight line at the same uh force of someone throwing it and it fucking went straight through the windscreen and obliterated the dummy in the car like so it could I mean and that's a can of coke but a pound coin is you know

it's a hot it could have took his teeth out if that had hit in his mouth from a van it could have took his teeth out

I'm sorry to go all serious here on the ick but probably still mangy though still mangy I mean I would yeah even if it

you know I still wouldn't fuck him with his pound coin lump on his head it's the same as somebody crying that a seagull's nicked their dinner.

And you go, it's funny. There are some things that are weirdly emasculating in the world. It's really fucking funny. But yeah, getting hit by the... Oh, there's a guy I fancy coming back from his dinner. There's a cuff-off. Oh, what's happened? Maybe there was a robber and he stopped the robber.

Maybe he saved a young child as a car was going by. Oh, someone threw a pound at you and you fell out of form, have you? All right. I'm just going I'm just going to go over to the bin and drop your sex appealing at me imagine

I think I might ring my boyfriend I think I might get back with my ex gone right off you hi Rosie and Chris please keep me anonymous

my best friend and I love your podcast and she reminded me of this story which happened a few years ago and still makes us laugh we think it would be a good rosie's mysteries too love a mystery let's start off with a mystery this year about 15 years ago my boyfriend now husband and i bought our first home it was just a small two-bedroom house for us and his then

seven-year-old daughter who would stay every other weekend. Cool. It had a large dining room though and I loved having my friends over for pre-drinks before our crazy nights out. How crazy! One weekend, I had them round for my birthday night out and we decided to do the standard pre-night out shots. Never ever done that. Me and my mates don't do shots.

Not standard at all. Awful that I don't do shots. I've done it in my standard before. I get very angry at the person who comes over with shots yeah very very angry

it's just annoying isn't it you're like I've come out for a few and I've got to go to work tomorrow I know I've got the burns in the morning I've got something to do

I only want to have I know my limits I want to have a couple at the risk of sounding like a boring twat here I know my limits I want to have a few beers and I want to maybe get a pizza

or something on the way home to soak it up and I know I'll be alright in the morning but you you mr dickhead are throwing shots into the equation you're throwing 70 proof fucking tequila into the equation and it's fucking up but it's always the person who's got the day off the next day but if you did bring them out when they didn't they would kick they would make all that yeah they've got a car you bring the shots out yeah yeah always the same person.

Honestly. It's because when you go, I don't want the shot, they're so angry. Yeah. They're so upset. I mean, me and my mates, I mean, we are a bunch of dickheads.

We are, we really just pour shots on the floor when the other person thinks you're drinking them. Because, fuck them. What do you mean, you really? You mean you do all the time? Regularly, sorry, yeah.

Regularly, right. We really drink it. So the amount of shots, if you're around me and my group of mates on a night out and someone brings the shots over clear the area because at least three of us are throwing them over our shoulder really yeah clear the area around with three of them are going on the on the floor behind me yeah i did it once at a wedding and then i got caught because the floor was like perfect wood and there was just loads in the way like is that is shot? You can't just hoist shots on the floor. Spillage, man. Spillage.

You're such a dick. I just said me and my mates are dicks. I just said that. As it was my birthday weekend, more of the girls were out and round mine than normal. So I had to rummage in the back of the cupboard where I kept all the shot glasses for extra glasses. Okay.

We had enough though. Imagine having so many friends that you run out of glasses. I know. Because it's your birthday. It's my birthday so there's more people out than usual. That's the dream.

One day. We had enough though and we all poured out the apple sours. Now I can get away with apple sours. I love a bit of apple sours. And necked our shots. Good times. Listen, some people love shots.

It's just not our cup of tea literally however i noticed straight away that one of my friends just wasn't right she was clutching her mouth and coughing she started spitting something out into her hand and asked me what had been in the shot glass with horror i realized which shot glass i'd given her to drink ramses what do you think had been kept in the shot glass? Oh. I know this. Do you? I've just worked this out, right?

Because we've been watching the Knives Out things and Glass Onion and Knives Out. Oh, yeah. And I've worked out that. Very good. Would highly recommend. Yeah. So there's bits of nuggets there's nuggets of information dropped

that seemed completely superfluous earlier in the story that come back. So she mentioned the daughter and she mentioned the daughter's seven. And I can tell you right now, I'm going to make a total fool of myself if I've got this wrong,

but I'm going to put all in, I'm going to bet the house, the car, everything, the daughter's teeth that had fallen out. Oh, okay. Interesting. Right. Let's see, let's Right. The daughter's teeth that had fallen out. Oh, okay. Interesting. Yeah. Right. Let's see. Let's see.

It was a shot glass containing about three or four of my boyfriend's daughter's baby teeth. Yes! Well done! Oh, just call me Benoit Blanc. Holy shit. How did you? I don't know. It just came to at dinner it just came to us

it just came to us I think we've done it in the past in our house oh I'm so happy well done it's a good place to keep teeth it's a good place

to keep teeth Feliz Navidad to us all happy Christmas prospero año y felicidad well done my husband

had kept them in a shot glass god knows why a shot glass I think it's quite a good good place. I'm so happy with that. Before deciding where he'd keep them long term

and I'd completely forgotten when I ditched out the shot. So my poor friend was trying not to choke on several teeth at the back of her throat. That's a big man. Sorry, actually, I was just so happy about getting it right. It's horrific. That's like a fucking nightmare. I'm sorry.

I don't know if I would get over something. That is trauma that's pure that's 20 years later waking up in a hot sweat someone going what's wrong you go

oh once I took a shot with some teeth in they've got that bit as well like where they come out they've got this sort of this sharp bit on the top with a cavity where it's a little bit

it's a little bit dry blood and a bit yeah yeah and a shot you don't just you neck it so it literally would have been in her throat

I should have swallowed a few of them I should have swallowed a few of them you'd have to count them afterwards and go how many was it

for my boyfriend how many teeth were in that thing I don't know can you check your shit tomorrow please fuck that's horrible apparently the friend

took it very well though and she spat them out we cleaned them and my husband still has the baby teeth to this day and his daughter is now 22.

So happy ending. I'm so proud of myself. Well done. Hey everyone. Me. Epic that like. Me. Have we told anyone about what we do when we're watching like a murder mystery or a thriller? So we have a rule. I don't know if we've ever mentioned this but it's a good rule.

So you know when you spot something and you haven't said it and it comes to light. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We have a rule in our house that if we haven't said it and when it happens, if we go, I thought that, we'll have to trust each other. We'll have to believe each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I love that rule. Yeah. Because there's so many times it comes in. I was thinking that. I wish I'd said that. Honestly, I was going to say it. I believe you. Yeah, and then it ends it there because I do

I do believe you because we don't say it if we don't but yeah and then under my breath I go I don't believe you you go no you fucking didn't I look at the camera and I go I don't believe her

and I look back because my whole life's a sitcom yeah no so is mine it's great babadoo babadoo babadoo hi Rosie and Chris hope you're both well this morning

the day of the England v France game So this is a little while back Oh right okay I was having a lazy morning In bed with my boyfriend Remember them? No

Remember them? No We used to have them all the time Lush You used to go make us Chocolate spread on toast Remember that? When I could eat what I wanted

And all that shit Oh Those were the days My friend Now there's no It's weird now Because even when the kids stay out It's not a lazy morning

because it's like wake up right how much time do I have to exist before the children come back and then the guilt the guilt is overwhelming I don't have the guilt I know you don't

I constantly constantly have guilt I would have them look after for a fortnight oh no you could I know you could no bother at all I couldn't

I can't do it anyway we had sex remember that and then is this on email this is from him oh so

lazy morning my boyfriend and sex yeah disgusting it's not us we had sex and then he started fingering me

to finish me off oh wow right okay so he's he's he's got too excited on his lazy morning

and now he's putting now he's finishing so she can reach the climax yes exactly it felt incredible and just as I was about to come he leant over on his lazy morning and now he's putting it back so she can reach the climax also. Yes, exactly. It felt incredible and just as I was about to come, he leant over and whispered in my ear, this one's for the lions.

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! My orgasm immediately left my body, never to return again isn't that horrendous oh i think that's fantastic that is fantastic this one's for the lions oh god some football just encompasses all of the entire life. Why would you say that to her? Mate, why did you say that to her?

It's for the Lions, man. It's for the Lions. Oh, that's hilarious. Oh, that's really, really made my day. Hi. When I was 17, I tried to sneak a hip flask of vodka into a nightclub party. It was a private party for people aged 16 to 18, so no alcohol was being served.

Boo. Right, okay. I decided to tape the flask to my inner thigh as it was the only place I thought it wouldn't show on my skinny jeans. I made sure to tape it to my leg cap upwards as the flask was a little leaky. However, I had not planned for the taxi ride at the club and the angles involved in sitting down. I first realised had not planned for the taxi ride at the club and the angles involved in sitting down.

I first realised what had happened during the taxi ride when the bouncer at the club, checking everyone for alcohol, asked me, mate, have you pissed yourself? Now, I had two options. One, come clean and admit it was alcohol which had leaked in the taxi. Two, say yes and be

allowed in. I risked it and chose option 2. Turns out, bouncers won't let people who have visibly pissed themselves in either. So, in front of a line of my classmates, I had embarrassed myself twice, seemingly covered in piss and been asked to leave. Thanks all. Love, Jay. Oh my god! I went home and to console myself i sucked my jeans dry

i can just imagine the thoughts going through his head should i say i pissed myself or should i say it's vodka should i say i pissed myself oh my god oh interesting uh little factoid um you shouldn't put if that was the kind of hip flask i imagine it was which is the metal metal ones that you can buy for people at christmas and little novelty set shouldn't put if that was the kind of hip flask I imagine it was which is the metal metal ones that you can buy for people at Christmas and little novelty set shouldn't put vodka in them why?

because it corrosive it corrodes the inside you shouldn't put anything citrusy or any sort of clear liquors in them it's more for whiskeys never knew that like a whiskey

bourbon or a scotch don't think 17 year old Jake was really thinking about that if I'm honest with you he didn't fucking get a chance he did he leaky hip flask on the inside looking like fucking Lara Croft yeah hilarious 17-year-old Jake was really thinking about that if I'm honest with you. He didn't fucking get a chance to, did he?

Leaky hip flask on the inside looking like fucking Lara Croft. Yeah. Hilarious. Amazing. 17-year-old. Have you pissed yourself?

Yes. Can I please come in now? No. Do you not? Please leave. I remember, I remember walking into, trying to get into pubs

smoking, thinking, I look older. Smoking was one, yeah, you look older, yeah, you look older yeah you look older

if you're smoking that was one so ridiculous I'm sure I've talked about it on here a lad I knew couldn't get in I'm sure I've talked about it

yeah I think you have I've heard the story before he just went in holding a cigarette holding it out in front of him not lit? no it was lit

but he was just holding it because he didn't smoke he was scared of it so he just walked in holding it up like imagine you would hold up like a pass to get a good place of work

he woke up holding just holding it just that's my cigarette. So clearly 18. Yes that is piss. What are you going to do? Oh god.

Dear Rosie and Chris, happy new year. Hope this email finds you and your family well. Thank you. Happy new year To you and yours We're very well Sick of each other I don't know if you've heard But already this year

I've got Rosie's Mysteries Bang on So my year's going well Yeah well done Please keep me anonymous I have an unfortunate Embarrassing tale That until now

I have not confessed To another soul Phenomenal That's why we're here That's why we're here Love this Love this The event occurred

Age 19 My first day At the local pub As a barmaid Awesome Phenomenal. That's why we're here. That's why we're here. Love this. Love this shit. The event occurred aged 19 at my first day at the local pub as a barmaid. Awesome. I started my induction in the morning and had been talking

to the manager for 20 minutes when I suddenly had the urge to poo. You know when it comes on you from nowhere it can make you feel

really ill. Yeah. It makes me feel ill sometimes. See I have creeped by poos. You know when you're going to and it's scheduled. They're just creeped by me

and I've got to run. Yeah, you've got a very strange relationship with your poos. I know. Why? Your poos are very much the boss of you. What do you mean?

Yeah, they're just like, now, now. You're like, right, I've got to go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mine have to book an appointment. So it's fun in the morning when the kids,

and Ralph's very, very clingy and I have to run to the toilet, and all I hear is, Mama! Mama! And I'm like, Here, I'm here. Come and sit on me knee while I have a shite.

He's a clingy one. He really is. Just like my shite. Anyway, right. Talked to my manager. Needed a poo. I held it in for as long as I could but I started feeling unwell

I told you and had to excuse myself to go to the toilet I quickly chose to go to the disabled toilet to avoid any potential interruptions a decision I would soon regret

yeah terrible idea after what can only be described as a bowel explosion my heart sank as I realised that there was no paper toilet what do you think I used paper toilet to wipe realised that there was no paper toilet. What do you think I used to wipe?

Oh, toilet paper. Toilet paper. Imagine a paper toilet. Paper toilet. A bit wobbly. See if it's pooing. Scrumple it up. Throw it away. What do you think I used to wipe? Oh, mystery. Another mystery. Oh my god. What do you think she used to

wipe? Apron. Apron from the bar. Is that what you're going to say? Yeah. Apron that she had as a barmaid that what you're going to say? Yeah. Okay. Apron that she had as a barmaid. Or that towel that you used for the glasses. Oh, God. Okay, apron. Luckily, this toilet also had baby changing facilities.

Heavens to Betty. So, I did the only thing I could. I opened the nappy bin and proceeded to wipe my shitey arse with a shitey nappy. Oh, my God! Oh! Oh! Oh, no, that, no, that's, oh. Now, as parents, shitty nappies are grotesque.

So she'll probably use the outside of the nappy. You know, where it goes yellow from all of the wind. Oh, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it. Going into the bin, first of all, is the worst. Into the, oh God. Into the nappy bin, the communal nappy is the worst there's a soft play a brilliant soft play where we live but then when you go in at the end of the day and then nappy bins are full of them toilets well because it's only kids isn't it it's just loads of shitty nappies disgusting oh that's really they're going in and fishing out and having you know there's a moment which i had to look for the one with the least shit on

probably oh my god this was one of the least shit on. Probably. Oh my God. This was one of the lowest points of my life and I hope that no one ever has to go through this. I can't even look at a nappy in the same way. Oh, question. Question? Yeah. What would you both have done in the same position?

What would we have done in that position? I don't think I'd ever find myself in that position because I would look and I would check that there wouldn't be no... I would check that there was toilet paper. I'd always check. Yeah, especially a poo. Somewhere like that, yeah.

But if I was caught, if I'd done it and I realised, sock, underpants, underwear. I'd use my underwear. Underwear would be my first shout. Or I'd wash my bum in the sink. Could you do that? Well, it's in the disabled. There's lower?

I've never been in this position before. But I would probably just do a little Victorian wash in the sink with my bum and then dry it on the dryer. Well, I mean, yeah. Suppose if you've got your own, not to get disgusted, you could just do your hand and then wash your hand. And then wash your arse? Yeah.

But why would your first thought go, Oh, I'll use a used nappy to wipe me off because what's your bum in the sink oh my god i've solved it you haven't because that's really difficult and what you're gonna dry a bum with the dryer oh fucking hell well i'm sorry right so this this disabled toilet cubicle has just become a fucking one-stop arse cleaning shop for you i would rather i would rather have a bit of a damp ass for the rest of the afternoon than

wipe me backside on a used nappy I'm sorry I don't know you know what I would have probably done I would have probably just made sure it wasn't like

all up me back and that pulled me pants up went through and went sorry there's no toilet roll and then got a toilet roll on my back through and used the toilet roll or then go to a different toilet

yeah I just went to the same toilet could you blue roll from behind the bar could you use your yeah. I just went to the same toilet. Could you? Blue rule from behind the bar. Could you use your hands? I've just said that. You use your hand, then you can wash your hand. But, I mean, it's awful.

Yeah. Well, you could, though, couldn't you? You could literally wipe the poo off your hand. Oh, God, this is vile, isn't it? I'm sorry. I've never been in this situation before. No, we've all got you. So, you're going to wash your arse in the sink.

Yeah. Like, so, I mean, what about the next person who has to use that sink? Well, I'd wash it first. I'm going to wash your arse in the sink. Yeah. Like, so, I mean, what about the next person who has to use that sink? Well, I'd wash it first. I'm going to bend, I'm literally, look, I'm going to be backwards, I'm going to bend over,

I'm going to put my bum on the, like, backwards on the sink. You're going to knock this table over. I'm going to sit on the sink like that and then I'd squish, swish the water. Just touch me laptop while she's doing this. Swish it up me backside like that.

This is awful. Bit of soap. Everything about this is awful. And then I'd bend over the dryer and I'd dry my arse that's the best thing if you're ever

going to shit yourself there's no toilet roll that's what you should do just wash your bum I'm glad I got to wash my bum I wash my bum now

oh god so there we go is that the words to that I wash your bum bum now I don't know what the words are you're doing informant

you know you're like the weeweies and the poop that's our house song well our house that song so i sing you can have this i sing to nicely wrap up this episode yeah when i'm changing rave's nappy and robin would did it as well yeah i'll say informer your nappy's full of the weems and the poo-poos. I changed your bum-bum now. That's probably why I think it's, I changed your bum-bum now. Do you know what I said to Carl Hutchinson? I said, when I'm changing the baby's nappy, I sing this, you can have this if you want.

And he went, I've never heard that song. Oh, what is his life? I swear to God, he'd never heard that song. He'd never heard it. How have you never heard Informer? Because all he listens to is, what is it? I swear to God he'd never heard that song he'd never heard it how have you never how have you never heard because he just all he listens to is

what is it like country music country western music yeah Informer you've run a wee-wee in the boo-boos I changed your mum on now

we've got loads of songs haven't we yeah but we haven't got time to go through them all no just can we quickly sing Bath Boys Bath Boys Bath Boys are back

and you know they can never be whack Bath boys are back oh baby here's a bad boys I think we're trying to get the bands of the bath and that was stolen from fat boys from jackass when they used to when they used to wear the big fire never knew where it was from I don't know if the words are frat boys or fat boys but was when they used to wear the big fat suits and those bad boys are back but it's very fun when we all go it was bad boys are back so that's what I used to say but it's very fun when we all go up the stairs singing bad boys are back

yeah and you know they can never be whack bad boys are back can we hear them bad boys fun times we'll look back on this

you know we'll look back on this in we're 50s and we'll go they were the best years ever and we'll forget about all the shit we'll just sing them songs

and remember the nice times I'm going to take your word for that. Yeah. Got to, mate. After the 200th episode, thank you, thank you from the bottom of our hearts for listening to us week in and week out.

We are so grateful to still be doing this. He has to 200 more. He has to 200 more. He has to 200 more. Oh, come on. 200 more. Oh, come more oh come on 200 more oh come on man

four more years you've got it in you genuinely guys thank you so much it just we've really we missed this so much we had two weeks off

we missed it so much and it's so lovely that you're listening it's so lovely it's just so lovely to be part of a little gang that we're all in a little gang

thank you very much and Rosie's got something to say that just says on the every out row oh Shag and Oye is part of the Acast creator network speaking of little gangs and as always if you want to get in touch it's shagmananoide at gmail.com we hope you're having a wonderful year so far but like I said don't worry if you're not

tomorrow's a new day and we'll be back in your ears next week thank you so much see you bye you. Bye. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm.

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