Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 21. Double dip with me all day long

Episode Date: July 5, 2019

This week the Ramsey’s discuss an interesting trip to an outdoor pool, the joy of ear wax, cheese grating techniques and Rosie’s trouble with phrases. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. No, no, don't. The First Omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil. Movie of the year. It's not real.

It's not real. It's not real. Who said that? The First Omen. In theaters Friday. Get tickets now. Hello. You're listening to Shag Married Annoyed

with me, Rosie Ramsey, and my husband, Christopher Ramsey. Nothing? No, nothing. No? No. No insult? Genuinely, no. Why?

I've got a good beef. Oh, okay, you're saving them? Saving. You're saving it right up? Well, yeah, because I sometimes feel like I lose a beef at the beginning bit. But you said you never run out

well I have got loads but we are on episode 21 now that's Jesus Chris that's 21 beefs we've had 21 beefs and I've got a lot

I just don't want to waste them I've got nothing to say to you at the moment oh wow about yeah at the moment

oh about this I was going to say you've got something to say to us though otherwise this is going to be a really good show I've got loads to

say episode 21 guys thank you so much for listening if you are before we start oh great a word

from this week's sponsor this week's sponsor is biscuits biscuits hey you having a little cup of coffee? a little cup of tea? feel like you want a little little something sweet on the side?

Get yourself a biscuit in there. I love a biscuit. You don't have to dunk it in. You don't have to dunk it in. Never. You can just have it with it. Do you never dunk? Never.

You've never dunked? I only started drinking coffee like two years ago. But you've never ever drunk a biscuit in coffee? I haven't, you know. Never. Look at the little smile on your face. Are you excited? I want to try

I just bought some new biscuits yesterday they're really nice I've eaten nearly the full packet hey look have you just sold me some biscuits

have I hey biscuits if you're listening it's working I mean she lives in the same house and no money's going to change hands

and I've already bought them but biscuits ones I've got I've got jam and cream in like a jammy dodger from Ikea bloody lovely

you got chocolate on you can have ones without chocolate on caramel ones Biscuits. Ones I've got, I've got jam and cream in, like a jammy dodger, from Ikea. Bloody lovely. You got chocolate on? You can have ones without chocolate on. Caramel ones? You can have java cakes. Or the biscuits. They're my favourite java cakes. Oh, but are the biscuits or the cakes?

No one knows. It's a bit in between. Full moon, half moon, total eclipse. Biscakes. Biscakes? Something like that. When are we going to get an actual real sponsor or advert of some description? Are you on this?

Are you covering this? No, I'm too busy with the fictional ones that I keep getting. Well, unfortunately, the fictional ones do not pay for my ASOS addiction. And it is an addiction. We need to get this sort of ASOS. The stuff I took back to ASOS today,

and then you put me back out getting it out the car. I know. Well, none of it never fits honestly the people at the post office think I was sending a dead body back

I'd spend a lot of money on that ASOS delivery I'll get it all back I only keep about 30 quids worth of stuff but you know

it must cost about 500 quid that delivery well there we go so there we go so we need a sponsor so I can pay for that thank you and in lieu of a

real one biscuits eat a full pack feel sad bye So there we go. So we need a sponsor. So I can pay for that. Thank you. And in lieu of a real one, biscuits. Eat a full pack. Feel sad. Bye. Here's the jingle. We had a fight about the jingle.

We couldn't settle on a jingle. So this is the jingle. We hope you like the jingle. Jingle, Jingle. We hope you like the Jingle, Jingle. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bap. Jingle! Hello and welcome back to Shag Married Annoyed. We are so, so, so happy to have you here. Indeed.

Loving getting all your lovely messages. Loving still being top of the charts. Top of the charts. Top comedy podcast for literally weeks now. It's crazy, isn't it? Weeks. Unless you're listening to this in the future and something happened and we're right at the bottom.

In which case, don't judge. We're at the time where we're flying high. We're enjoying ourselves. It was successful for a while. Yeah, yeah. These are the good years. Yeah. Before the drugs and the hookahs.

That's already been. That's now. That is now, actually. Yeah. Fuck. Shh. Hookahs in the's already been. That's now. That is now, actually. Yeah. Fuck. Shh. Hookahs in the corner. Shh.

Stop the whispering. Flight mode. Put your phone on flight mode. Unbelievable. Jesus. They're such loud hookahs. The loudest hookahs in the world. Guys, as always,

if what the hell's going on, guys, as always, if you want to get in touch, it's shaggedmarriedannoyed at gmail.com for all your questions and little bits and tidbits and stuff. We'll get to them later on. What have we been up to?

What have we been up to? Oh, fuck all. No, no, we had a lovely family weekend. Oh, we did have a nice family weekend. Sorry. What have we been up to? Oh, fuck all. No, I had a lovely weekend as a family.

Oh, yeah, that. Yeah, no, we went to a farm we took we took Robin to an outdoor paddling pool thing which was hell on earth that was so weird

wasn't it disgusting oh so guys obviously we live in the north east of England there's a place called Morbeth which pretends

it's posh but on closer inspection on a sunny day I beg to fucking differ Morbeth we went to an open air paddling pool yes uh there must have been 400 people there easy maybe more uh and they were all around the pool eating rosie chinese chinese takeaway there was a chinese takeaway van in the car park of the

leisure center next to this park. And to be fair, when we first walked in, we didn't know there was a van. We didn't. I thought people had just ordered a Chinese to the park. Say I thought they'd had it from the night before. Because this was a Saturday. He did not have leftovers. Yeah, I was like, they've put last night's leftover Chinese.

I mean, on one hand I was going, you You dirty sods And on the other hand I was going God I wish I could plan stuff like that Like we literally knocked together A couple of ham sandwiches before we left We sat there with little ham sandwiches And they were knocking out the chow mein There was one with chow mein One had like Chinese chicken curry sauce on chips

And it smelt unbelievable Do you know what the best bit for me was? And I wish I got a photo of it It was at one point we went past and curry sauce on chips and that. It smelt unbelievable. Do you know what the best bit for me was? And I wish I got a photo of it. It was at one point, we went past the Chinese takeaway van and it was next to an ice cream van and it was 26 degrees. There was no queue for the ice cream

and there was about 60 people in the queue for the Chinese. Waiting for the Chinese. It's apparently like a huge thing there. I had a bit. I was well, Giles. It smelled amazing. It did. It was the worst ham huge thing there. I had a bit there. I was well, Joel. It smelled amazing. It did. It was the worst ham sandwich

I've ever had. Sorry about that. No, not that it was a bad ham sandwich, just that I had to stand next to people who were eating spare ribs and that.

Oh, yeah. But seriously, there were 26 degrees eating spare ribs outside. Come on, man. Well, you know my thoughts on heat and food. Yeah.

It makes no difference to me. It doesn't bother you, does it, no? Not at all. See, if that was me, I would have literally ate the spare ribs, had it all over us

and I would have just ran and belly flopped into the paddling pool and washed it all off. Yeah, that's true. I'm just looking outside and the sun's shining, right? Yeah.

I could eat a little, I could eat Sunday dinner on my lap out there. Swear to God. And it's Tuesday, currently. Yeah, don't give a shit. I have time of record.

Don't give a shit. Wow. I could sit and eat this. In fact, does the Carvery have an outdoor sitting area? It actually does, yeah. It does? The Brita, right? There's tea sorted.

Quality. We'll scoot up there. We've got scooters. Yeah. We're a scooter family now. I bought you a scooter today, didn't I? Yes, you did. Yes.

So we all have, three of us have scooters, and we get some very strange looks. I don't care. What can I do? I think we'll look cool. We need a theme tune. So we all have, three of us have scooters and we get some very strange looks. Okay. What can we do? I think we'll look cool. We need a theme tune. Or scooter assault. Scooter assaults, yes. Which is your new little thing.

Oh, I invented a fantastic game the other day, guys. So what you do is, right, one of you has to just sit in the garden chilling out on the driveway, on the lawn or whatever front wall wherever you've got use any space you can rosie sat reading a magazine uh and do you want to explain what i was doing so chris would just uh come past sorry about that chris would just come past on the scooter and um hurl insults at me scooter salts from the scooter so you come past on the little scooter and you duck down and you just go past and you just go, Shit singer. Yeah, that was one of them. And I was saying nasty things that people had said online that I don't remember.

You just started saying things that people have told us about. So that was really nice, really supportive, really lovely. But it's only funny because they weren't true. It's only funny because I know they're not true. Well, they sounded quite true coming from the mouth of your husband. husband yeah it's something to do with when I'm on the scooter it adds a bit of drama try it scooter salts

hashtag scooter salts something which I have noticed of late I don't know if you've noticed this our little boy Robin at the minute he goes mum I want a drink of water and I go okay I don't know if you've noticed this. Our little boy, Robin, at the minute, he goes, Mom, I want a drink of water. And I go, okay.

I walk over to the sink. He runs upstairs, gets a bottle from the side of our bed and drinks a monkey old bed water. Yes. Yes, I have noticed that. Have you stopped him doing it? No, no, not at all. Not either of us.

No? Oh, sorry. Was I supposed to? No, no, not at all. Not either of us. No? Oh, sorry. Was I supposed to? No, no, no. But it's like, right, so we've got basically, we've got like plastic cup things either side of the bed

and straws in them, like sports drink things that will just keep water in for a night, of a night, you know, if you've had your salad Chinese or a curry or something

and you think, I'm thirsty during the night. Yeah. But yeah, when he wants to drink water, it must be his favourite water. He just runs back up and has it. But it's like,

it's always got loads of bubbles in it and it's warm and I do think, should he be drinking that? But then I think, well, he's there now. Yeah. And I've saved on a dish downstairs.

Exactly. So, and he's getting a bit of exercise running up the stairs. Did you never have this, right? So they're filled up from the upstairs bathroom tap, cold tap.

That's what I fill them up from. I don't fill them from the kitchen tap, right? Okay. Now, I remember when the plumber did it, he said it's from the mains for brushing your teeth because, you know, it's drinking water. Yeah. When I was younger, I always thought the bathroom tap water tasted better than downstairs water. Did you? Yeah.

So did you ever, you know, when you're wetting your toothbrush at the end, did you ever go like wet your toothbrush and go... Yes. And like suck the water off your toothbrush yeah I did could you not have done that forever rather than drink it out of a cup wasn't it much nicer

sucked out your toothbrush it was you know I think there's a bit of that going on and did you ever sit in the bath and fill up a cup with the bath water

like the tap cold yeah that was always delicious well yeah because it was the juxtaposition of sitting in a boiling hot bath and then having that cold water would you something to let it run down your cheek and chin and always oh always i'd just be like letting it run all over myself yeah well he does

it i saw him doing it yesterday he does it i remember i've only just recently stopped brushing my teeth in the shower yeah yeah really yeah you used to brush your teeth in the shower yeah bloody hell especially in the winter you know when you're Really? Yeah. You used to brush your teeth in the shower? Yeah. Bloody hell. Especially in the winter, you know when you're a bit cold and you think, oh, tell you what, instead of being freezing in the bathroom

brushing my teeth for two minutes, I'm going to do it in the shower and I just brush my teeth in the shower. So this is while having a shower, this is not you just fully clothed going, I'm a bit cold. This is while the shower is on. Why are you always late for work?

I just keep jumping in the shower to brush my teeth and I'm already ready. I don't know why I do it. Fucking jacking on. Hood up. I'm all right. I've got my hood up.

Shower proof coat. Something else I've been doing recently is I've been wearing all of my clothes. Yeah. I know that sounds a bit weird. Right. But I'm very bad. And you are. Oh, you're of my clothes. Yeah? I know that sounds a bit weird. Right. But I'm very bad. And you are. Oh, you're terrible at this.

Yeah? Having loads of clothes in your wardrobe and wearing the same shit all the time. Yes, yes. Sorry, at first when you said I've been wearing all my clothes, I thought you meant like when Joey goes into Chandler's wardrobe on Friends and comes back and starts lunging in that. Yeah, in all his gear.

Right. No. Right. No, I mean like I've just I've got I look at my wardrobe and I've got loads of lovely clothes

and I never wear them no never because I just think oh that's a good top that's a good dress those are good pants yeah

trousers those are and I never wear them and I've decided Rosie pack it in wear your clothes because you're letting them

wear you right is that a phrase you're letting them wear you it's like my cardigan I can't say it it's up my arse you're talking about is that not a saying no they'll start wearing you is that a saying I know there's your things your own will start owning you right jesus christ we've got there in the end guys hey so next week unshag my annoyed jesus christ that's the one i meant i did like i do you know what i mean though that's what i meant your clothes will start owning you so my clothes are owning me they're owning me this right uh i don't i hate these kind of things in podcasts and shows where they go make sure you stay tuned for later on but this i've already heard our celebrity question this week right this tackles our celebrity

question okay you'll find out later in the show sorry to be that dickhead hey announcement about an announcement make an announcement at 3pm, guys. But that is, yeah, that's something that's been, and I've never had a way to slide it in and now I can. I'm very excited.

I'm very excited. I'm scared. Is it all my clothes ganging up on us? It's all your clothes ganging up on you. We're wearing you, bitch! That was the phrase

you were talking about. So the things you own end up owning you. But you're right, though. But the point is putting nice clothes. I've got nice clothes and I think,

why am I putting that on? Because I know Robin's going to go out, we're going to take him somewhere, he's going to stand in a big pile of dog shit, and he's going to want to carry. And I'm going to have dog shit all over my thighs. What a stupid thing to think. That's just what I think.

You've got a kid, you can't wear nice clothes. Well, he's three and a half now. He doesn't just vomit all the time. Yeah, but he's always running up you with butter on his hands or something. He's always got something going on. Well, there can be clothes... Listen, listen. I'm not getting into this negative conversation about clothes owning anymore

because I've finally addressed it. Okay, you're free of it. Look at me. Look at me in a day. Don't I look nice? You look bloody lovely. I've got a dress on that I haven't worn for about two years, which is bloody lovely.

Yeah. You know, actually this jumped as a bit shit, but I was cold because, you know, England and Chile. She's just dumping the shower. I do the podcast. Oh, funny. So no, I'm not doing it anymore. I'm wearing stuff.

Just see me, see me Saturday night, wedding dress, right? I'm telling you now. Psycho. That cost £1,500, that dress, and I've worn it once, and I'm raging about it it's absolutely scruffy as well it is disgusting I'm looking now

over in the corner of our kitchen there's a photo of me and you walking along after the photo shoot and I'm like lifting it up to keep it out of the dirt and in that photo

the damage is already done I know it looks like I'm carrying a mop I had a bloody good time though it was a good day wasn't it yeah good day the old wedding

expensive as fuck crazy I know people are still paying their weddings off now I had a bloody good time though It was a good day wasn't it Yeah Yeah Good day the old wedding Spencer is Fuck Crazy I know people are still Paying their weddings off now I know I think my sister only just Finished paying hers off

And it was like 15 years ago Maybe more No I don't know I don't understand People who get married Six and seven times What are you doing

Who gets married Six and seven times People Rod Stewart I don't I don't CPI I don't know. I don't know.

You just randomly said Rod Stewart. It was not what I was thinking of. Hey, Rod, if you're listening, sorry, mate. Do you know him personally? I don't know him, but he probably listens

to everyone else. Top comedy podcast. I'm a big fan, Ron. I know you've been around a few times. Ron! I'm a big fan, Ron. I know you've been around a few times.

Ron! Ron Stewart is his brother. And he weirdly is actually a wedding photographer. No, I'm joking. What's happening? Stop it, man. We should stop mentioning celebs and stuff because I've got the fear now, haven't I? Oh, yeah.

You know what's just happened. Explain why you're scared of celebrities now. I'm not the fear now, haven't I? Oh, yeah. You know what's just happened. Explain why you're scared of celebrities now. I'm not scared of celebrities, but you know we do the celebrity question every week. Yeah, running thin, by the way. We are running thin of celebrities. And so I thought, you know what? I'm going to go through my phone.

I'm going to just message all of the really, really famous people who I follow. Like, I'm talking A-list celebrities who I follow and who I like to look at on Instagram so I've messaged them and now I've just I'm just terrified

no hold on who have you messaged who have you just because I'll watch you do it I don't want to tell you you don't want to tell us I'm just a bit scared okay

because they're like super famous but anyway so I'm just terrified that one day we might actually meet them you don't know crazier things have happened

oh I've met some crazy people yeah yeah exactly so I'm just worried now that we might actually meet them you don't know crazier things have happened oh i've met some crazy people yeah yeah exactly so i'm just worried now that we might meet them and they might be like yo hey nice to meet you guys and they'll be like you guys got a podcast what's your podcast called and they'll be like we're like oh shag marion annoying they'll go oh my god i follow you on instagram oh my god okay and then they might message you one day to say hey are you guys in la because that would be nice that would be a nice little day and we'll go yeah and they'll message and go oh my god you've messaged me before oh you asked me to do a question for your podcast and i'll go oh yeah and i'll just be really embarrassed and they'll not want to see this ever again because i never mentioned the

message where i messaged you're worried that you're gonna follow you sometime in the future and they're gonna go to message you and go oh oh, we've chatted before. Oh, this is four years ago. She was begging me to do a question for a two-bit shitty podcast when she didn't even know me. I love the idea that you've just said there, they're going to say, hey guys, are you guys in LA? Yeah, well, I mean, in my brain, this is what's happening. I say, yeah, see?

I was a bit the other way around. We'd be messaging these A-list guys going, are you at Morpeth Paddling Pool outdoor? Do you want chow mein or ribs? So anyway, that's where my crazy riddled, anxiety riddled brain is right now. Because I'm just terrified that, I mean,

they'll never reply. They won't ever see it. Do you reckon? Oh, come on, have you messaged? Right, okay. Well, I messaged Celeste Barber message celeste barber brilliant john krasinski fantastic uh jesse j wow i know jesse j what i've met jesse j well i met jesse j when you were doing celebrity you don't you don't know jesse j i know i do you sort of no you don't i kind I've spoke to her. Well, thems are the only ones I'm telling you. Them's. Them's. You're so nervous you can't even talk.

I feel a bit ill about it. Let's stop talking about it. I just want James McAvoy. Yeah. I want James McAvoy. You want, what's it, Billy Connolly. Yeah, but I haven't messaged him. And also Julie Walters.

Yeah. I might message. Oh, sod it. No, I'm not. I don't know. Are you still upset that we never got to interview John Krasinski and Emily Blunt? Yes.

Yeah. Until the day I die. People don't know this, but we nearly, we had a chance to, but the channel we were working for at the time said, you can't go anymore. Yeah. And we're going to go and interview them

for The Quiet Place. It was a bad day, that. Yeah. I would love to have interviewed them. Rosie would have been in LA with them now. We could be at their barbecue. Yeah. Charging with 15 quid.

Hey, guys. I hope you've enjoyed the barbecue. We could be at their barbecue. Yeah. Charge them with 15 quid. Hey guys, I hope you've enjoyed the barbecue. That'll be $15. You fuckers. Thought you'd want ice. It's a quiet place until you're asking

for money in it. Eh? Then it's bloody gobsville. Exactly. Then you want a fucking corn dog. What is a corn dog? A corn dog is a hot dog with like

a cake around it and we are actually really nice sounds disgusting have you had one yes i've had one how have you had a corn dog because i've been to america bitch so right so you've never dipped a biscuit in a hot drink but you've had a fucking corn dog. Bitch. You heard yourself. That's a fucking weird person you are. Yeah. I've had a corn dog. I never knew.

Do you have sauce on them? Do they come on a stick? They come on a stick and I dip mine in ketchup. Wow. It was lovely actually. Did you double dip? Oh yeah.

Yes. I always double dip? oh yeah yes I always double dip I hate people who get offended by double dipping oh Jesus I can't stand that oh

you might as well be running a Chinese van and having a shower I know Angela my friend always tells us off for double dipping she's like

double dipping and I'm like what like I'm not ill I'm alright you might have illness on the way

you never thought you were okay one day then the next day you're ill and you think well I was actually ill yesterday but I didn't realise.

And I was double dipping with everyone. I was double dipping with everyone. Oh, well, they'll be arid. They'll help their immune system. Yeah. I don't, like double dipping doesn't bother me unless you're like slavering everywhere.

Pointing out double dipping upsets me. If I ever double dip, I rotate. So if I've got a chip, say I've got a really long chip, I'll dip one end, I'll bite it, I'll rotate it,

I'll dip the other end, I'll bite it underneath the middle bit. But it's like when you go again, people are like, you're double dipping, like the double dipping police. It's like, look, I'm rotating, I know what I'm doing. See, I feel like you would be the double dipping police. I don't call people out on it. If someone does it, I keep an eye on them.

Okay. Quietly. I'm looking and going, he's definitely a double dipper. I know what's going on here. And I'll avoid the dips he's going in. Oh, really? Yeah. I am a double dipper. I don't's going on here. And I'll avoid the dips he's going in. Oh, really? I am a double dipper. I don't care.

Yeah, but you're my wife. It doesn't bother me. Okay. You can double dip with me all day long. I'll get that on a t-shirt. Trademark Chris Ramsey 2019. Double dip with me all day long. New Shag Married Annoyed merch.

Watch your beef. Watch your beef. Watch your beef. Watch your beef. Watch your beef. Beef. Beef beef? What's your beef? What's your beef? What's your beef? Beef, beef, beef, beef, beef, beef. Ladies first. What's your beef?

Hang on. She's getting her phone out to read her beef. Because I'm just picking one. Picking one. Okay, right. Oh, right at the top. Yeah, my current beef with you is, you keep talking to me about utter shite and bull shite whenever i am trying to text

email or i'm just looking at something online do you do it deliberately do you know that i'm busy concentrating or do you just feel the need to just talk to us? Why? I think it's a combination of all three of those. Okay. I noticed I did it today, and I was explaining to you how I did the coffee machine, and you were busy texting, and I was finished talking to you,

and I got no reaction whatsoever. You do it all the time. I know, I'm sorry. It's infuriating. It's an only child thing, I think. It's basically, Mom, look at me! Mom, look at me! It is. That's basically what happens. It's an only child thing. I think. It's basically, Mom, look at me! Mom, look at me!

It is. That's basically what happens. It's really irritating. Sorry. Actually, I don't know how this has took so long to actually come to fruition. Yeah. I'm honest, because this has bugged me for years.

Yeah. But what if it was something important I was trying to tell you? Would you stop texting and listen? Of course I would. Right. Literally, if I was texting or something, or on my phone, and you was like, Rosie, oh my God, I've scalded my arm.

I'd go, Jesus. I'd put my phone down and be like, are you okay? Blah, blah, blah. Right. While I'm doing it, you're going, oh, so the coffee machine has got a new grind on it, and it's 24 instead of 22. Did you know that? Oh my word.

See, that shows how much you weren't listening, because the very important thing I was actually telling you was that what I do with the coffee machine now is I put the boiling hot water in the cup, then I put my sweetness in and I stir that. Oh, it's about the way that you put your sugar on. And then I put the milk in, right? So I've got the milk and the water and the sweetness.

So they're already there. Then I stir it so it makes a little whirlpool, right, in the cup. It makes a whirlpool. And then I press go for the espresso and I put it underneath. And the whirlpool's still spinning and the espresso comes in and it stirs as it comes in. It like twirls it all in. It looks really nice.

It could be on like an advert. I could film it. So you're telling me if I really want you to listen to that, I've got to scald me arm first. Yes. See how uninterested I am when you talk. I wish we filmed this podcast.

I still think you weren't listening to that. No, I did not listen at all. You're missing out. It's a really good way to make up. I didn't even listen when you just said it then. Sorry. Stop talking to me when I'm busy. Right.

I'm not your mother. Right. I don't work for you. Right? If I'm busy doing something, don't talk to us. Okay. End of. Okay.

All right? Unless it's really important. Right. We have plenty of time. Look at this. Not many couples get this. Right. End of. Okay. Alright? Unless it's really important. Right. We have plenty of time to... Look at this. Not many couples get this. Right. This is talking. This is chat. I'm not going to swear. Just leave us alone when I'm

busy. Okay? Drivel. Utter drivel. Who were you texting? I don't know. My sister. Ah, okay. That's how it is, isn't it? What? That's how it is, eh? what that's how it is eh living in the past she your best mate now eh yeah blood, sick and water

oh fucking hell right where's that marriage certificate what eh but please on a serious note pack it in it's infuriating

infuriating good god alright man right what's your beef my beef with you this week, it's been going on for a while now. I've noticed it.

I thought I'd let it go a couple of times. It's happened a few times recently. Literally within the past few weeks, it's happened five, six, seven times. I thought I'd let it go and then it happened again, not last night, the night before, and I thought,

this is getting out of hand. Right. You refuse, point blankly refuse, and have some kind of vendetta against me having garlic bread. Every time we are having some kind of pasta or anything, I'll go to put Robert to bed and you'll go,

I'm making the tea, and if it's any kind of tea, any kind of dinner that goes with garlic bread, I'll go, can you stick the garlic bread in the oven? You go, no worries. Every single time that tea's ready, I go, where's the garlic bread? You know you do it. I go, where's the garlic bread i'll go can you stick the garlic bread in the oven you go no worries every single time that tea's ready i go where's the garlic bread you know you do it i'll go where's the garlic bread you go oh i forgot every time to the point of on sunday you made a lovely tea and don't get us wrong you make amazing pastas the meals are fantastic the garlic bread just something on the side sunday i went there's no garlic bread he went oh don't worry chris you know what i'll do we've

got pitters there i'll make you a lovely little pita garlic bread is that alright I went oh that's amazing thanks sweetheart it came time came tea's ready I went where's the garlic the pita garlic bread oh I forgot like you talked me into it and you didn't have

garlic bread in the freezer and I went it's a shame I haven't got garlic bread and you went picture this a pita bread with butter and garlic and maybe some chives

or some parsley on top or maybe a bit of oregano how does that sound Chris I went that sounds amazing yeah you're sure you went yeah i'll make that bang kick in the dick here's your pasta with no garlic bread fucker enjoy it's a vendetta no just like chris chris stop it shut up right. I swear, I swear down, I swear to God, I just forget. Right. Because it's like, cooking can be a bit difficult. Yeah.

If you want everything hot, if you don't want things to overcook, if you're doing everything at the same time. I'm one of these people, I don't prep, right? I just cut and go. Yeah. So literally, something will be on the pan, my onions will be frying with the garlic, and I'm like cutting the courgette, and I'm doing all of this, and I've got to put them in before they go too soggy, something would be on the pan. The onions would be frying with the garlic and I'm like cutting the courgette.

I'm doing all of this and I've got to put them in before they go too soggy and all that kind of stuff. The garlic bread, it doesn't come into it, okay? If you want garlic bread, you're going to have to put the oven on yourself and do that. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I accept your apology. Thank you. But, you know, just think on. No, I will from now on. Listen, I will. That's a beef that I can agree with. I don't mean to sound ungrateful because you're an amazing chef. I mean, you know, just think on. No, I will from now on. Listen, I will. That's a beef that I can agree with. I don't mean to sound ungrateful because you're an amazing chef. I mean, you do.

You sound really, really ungrateful, to be honest. To be honest. I mean, there's a lot of people who don't get tea's cooked for them. Yeah. By, you know, beautiful women. You were about to say, yeah. You were going to say amazing chef and then you changed it to beautiful woman, didn't you?

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That's sunrisechallenge.ca. It's time for questions from the public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public.

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Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public Keep sending all of your thoughts and stuff. I mean, not all of your thoughts, because I have to read them all. All of your thoughts. I was going to say, just as a side note, the reaction we had to last week's story about the guy with the toenails.

Oh my, yes. Okay, right. People have actually been messaging saying they've physically vomited listening to that story. So, I mean, I don't know about you, Rosie, but I'm really proud. No, I am so proud. I'm so'm so so proud and i'm just really glad that everyone had the same

reaction as what we did and to carry on from that oh jesus no i can't brace yourselves oh strap in a buckle up here we go get the rude ones out the way. Not rude, sorry. Grim. Hi, Rosie and Chris. I absolutely love your podcast. It's hilarious. Thank you very much. I was out for a walk last night

and listened to your podcast about the guy picking his teeth with a nail from his wallet. Boke. Boke? Boke, indeed. Does that mean like sick? Boke means like,

blech. It's like, yeah. Right, okay. It says, I have a friend, in like apostrophes, so I like, it's like, yeah. Okay. It says, I have a friend in like apostrophes. So I'm guessing it's like the finger quotation. I have a friend. In quote,

quote marks. Yeah. Yeah. Who uses a string off his hoodie. Not the one with the metal bit at the end, just the one with the frayed end to clean his teeth. What the hell? Just a bit of string from a frayed hoodie

like a bit of floss. Sorry, like thicker than shoelace? Right, no. What is he, a great white shark? No. How's he getting that in between his teeth? Chris, no. No, not the floss. What? No, not the foot. What? How's he getting that in? Stop. Are you being serious? So he's flossing with a fucking rope,

essentially a bit of rope. What, are his teeth like three inches apart? I'll get you. Was he a gopher? He's using a little tiny little bit of string from like the frayed bit. Oh, the frayed bit, right. Are you taking the make you sorry no I genuinely thought

like you know when you pull I thought like I mean I've got a gap in my teeth but shit a brick I thought it was

like full on like you know like the handle of a reese bag you know when you get like you know you know when you

get a posh bag from a posh shop and it's like cardboard and it's got I thought he was getting a... What's he got? Six teeth. Robin.

Aye. I thought he had like a tooth and a gap and a tooth and a gap and a tooth. Like a fucking piano. No. Right, so he's using one of the little things. Yes. That must stink, that hoodie. How the hell did you think that?

God, well, everyone's got different teeth. Anyway, he uses it to pick between his teeth and clean the surface of his teeth. Oh, like a mop, so he like just plack-a-rama. I think this is disgusting,

but it gets worse. What? It gets worse. Right. He also keeps a Kirby clip in his wallet. I'm guessing a Kirby clip is like a little Kirby grip, you know, like a hair grip. Is it the ones that click? I don't know.

I'm not sure what a Kirby clip is. So he keeps this in his wallet. He takes it out at any given opportunity in front of everyone and he picks his ears with it. He keeps this in his wallet. He takes it out at any given opportunity, in front of everyone, and he picks his ears with it. This is the worst man? What's he, son of the twits? He's disgusting?

I love the twits. Oh, my God. She's put, who actually does this? Your friend, by the sounds of it. Oh, mate. Yeah. Why are people disgusting? See, this is what, honestly, this is why all public toilets are manky, and this

is why nightclub toilets are disgusting, and the shit up the walls. No one cares. Everyone's minging. I know. There's some disgusting people. So he carries some kind of hair clip with him to pick his ears. Oh, you dirty sod. Dirty, dirty, dirty. go and get them cleaned man go to the you can go to special places now man and get like micro suction where they suck your ears

suck all the wax out of your ears oh god oh i'd love that oh it's amazing i've got to go soon before we go on holiday because i always get pool water you do don't you do you want to come with us it's the best best thing ever ah is it right is? I once, I remember a few years ago, like out of Norway I was lying down in bed and a big massive bit of wax came out of my ear and like thudded the pillow. Like this. What was he?

Can you not remember that happened to me a few months ago? I was sitting. Did that happen to you or me? You said it had happened to you as well. Oh. So sometimes, yeah, so you literally hear like a, in your ear and you think, what the hell's that? And it's you said it had happened to you as well oh so sometimes yeah so you literally hear like a in your ear and you think what the hell's that and it's some wax falling off the top of the like like the lug and it drops down and it like literally falls out your ear oh right okay do you know when you just a memory yeah yeah and i'm like that happened to me and it happened to you because i mean i was like bloody hell and you were like that happened to me and i had a moment about

it because because nothing much really happens in our house I'll be honest with you yeah that did happen that was weird the wax twins the wax twins

but yeah I get them sucked out at some oh god it's so nice let's do it let's have a let's have a romantic day let's buy some of them little mini bottles of champagne

and go get our ears sucked wait are you going on a spa day guys no we're going on an ear wax micro suction half hour trip we're going to go forwax, microsuction half-hour trip. We're going to go for lunch after.

It's going to be so romantic. Oh, God. At the dinner, that's what we'll do. We'll go for the romantic microsuction thing. We'll get all the wax out and then we'll have a lovely candlelit dinner and the candle's made of the wax that we got out. Oh, God.

Oh, Christopher. And every now and then it goes like, as it burns a little hair that came out as well. Oh, that'll be romantic. Do you want to be funny? Imagine if we went for dinner beforehand and we'd goes like as it burns a little hair that came out as well oh that'll be romantic do you want to be funny imagine if we went for dinner beforehand we'll be like what what are you saying i can't it's two i don't know ask us after what how much you can hear people's thoughts once you've had it done it's the best i'm excited hi guys love the podcast but let's get to the nitty-gritty that's what we're like that's what

we're like here isn't it last sunday oh this is actually this is really good um last sunday i helped my wife deliver our baby in our bathroom. Wow. After her labour went from naught to 60 in the time it took to watch an episode of Gotham. Goodness me. That's good, isn't it? You delivered the baby in the bathroom. Well done. Absolutely incredible.

I mean, he only delivered the baby. His girlfriend did the actual hard work, but that's fine. Rosie, the fact that he wasn't unconscious on the floor. He's done a great job. Yeah, out of... I mean, come on. Yeah, you would have been horrific. I'd have phoned your mum.

Yeah, true. Santa would have been there. She'd have said, yeah, it's fine. Right. So, there was no time for the hospital, so I just had to get stuck in and catch the baby on the way out, which, as you can probably guess,

was quite a messy experience. Catch the baby? Catch the... well, they do... It's not a slip and slide, mate. Once the head's out, it's like... Really? I think... well, I mean, I didn't do it naturally, but I'm sure... Catch the baby.

Once the head's out... Catch the baby. Catch the baby. Go long! It got me thinking about the things we do for our loved ones without even thinking about it. So I guess my question is this. Have you ever been asked to do something really grim

by your other half and did you do it or did you tell them to F off? Baby hugs and manic kisses, Chris. Congrats, guys. First of all. Congrats. Oh, he's called Chris as well. Well done.

Well done, Chris. This got me thinking a little bit about our labour. Right. Our labour. What? I mean to say that. Your labour. Your labour that I happen to be around for.

No, but do you not, do you remember that I was 18 hours in labour, it was grim AF, and I got to the point where I was on the drip thing, and I was just like shaking, and walking to the bathroom was horrific. But do you remember that you wiped me down below? Yeah.

A few times. Of course I did. That was really grim, but it was nice. I would have done anything for you. I know. I know we take the piss out of each other on here and stuff, but it was genuinely harrowing. Like I remember going outside and crying a couple of times because I'd never seen anyone I loved

in any kind of distress like that. You were off your tits on whatever they'd given you, by the way. Dymorphine. Yeah. But then it was also, like, just kind of like, I don't know, like someone who's hammered, but, like, really in a horrible, like, get me, mum, kind of state. Like, even though your mum was there.

It was just, yeah, I i mean i would have done anything to to help you and stop you being going through that i just i remember that the down below uh was we had to save it in a little in a little tub do you remember sorry um you just to make clear for the listeners um the down below you're talking about um like sort of your undercarriage your bits and pieces my vagina not the bit that go to in stranger things which I think is called the upside down I'm not being funny it felt like that

that's what it felt like I could have been in that little world it just sounded so much that you were like down below and there was a monster and Eleven was there

I love her it's coming on again soon I know I'm excited no it was because they kept saving all of the stuff in that little thing they put in the toilet but it was just full of like blood that was green by the way stuff yeah

go to the toilet empty all of the fluids out yourself by the way you're gonna put this giant one one out of an egg box cardboard thing in the toilet so nothing goes into the toilet and then someone comes in now and then it just has a fucking rake through that that was nice weird that wasn't it honestly i've started sweating thinking about that day. Thank you for that. Can you remember that day ruined? The main bad thing about that day was it ruined my favourite rakey CD. Remember that rakey CD we used to listen to all the time in the bath and that?

And if you have a chill in, you put the rakey CD on. Oh yeah, my kid's CD. Yeah, yeah. And then we'll listen to it like for 18 hours on repeat. And I was like, fucking get this off my phone. Like I deleted it straight away. It came on a playlist the other day and I nearly crashed the car.

Yeah. Not good. Not good. Like, got to get it. Do you know people have been listening to this podcast during labour? That's madness.

I've had a few messages. Really? Yeah, honestly. Oh, well, we should probably. Should we do a little good luck chant? We should probably, yeah. Let's hold hands. Come on then. You ready? Good luck we do a little good luck chant let's hold hands you ready

good luck good luck good luck good luck good luck good luck we could do it I feel a sponsor coming on

hey are you pushing a baby out listening to the podcast careful take all the drugs you're offered and catch Are you pushing a baby out? Listening to the podcast? Careful. Take all the drugs you're offered. Yeah. And catch. Exactly. Go along.

When they say, do you want a couple of paracetamols to take the edge off? It does fuck all. It does. Get the other drugs. Get the real shit. They said that to me.

They were like, have a couple of paracetamols. This is at the beginning. It'll take the edge off. I was like, are you having a laugh? Like, give me the real stuff. Do you know these people who are like, have a couple of paracetamols. This is at the beginning. It'll take the edge off. I was like, are you having a laugh? Like, give me the real stuff. Do you know these people who are like,

oh, I did it all natural. And the mum does it all the time. I did it all natural. All right, Sandra, what did you get? Fuck all. You did not win anything for doing it natural. You just get to tell everyone. She won the right to say that whenever it's mentioned.

Great. Great. Well, I didn't do it natural. Still got a baby at the end. Rosie, if it was the other way around, right, and I had to have the baby and you didn't, Robin would still be in me now, three and a half years old.

I'd be clenching, going, absolutely not. So don't worry about it. Fair play. High five. High five for you. Thank you. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Hi. High five. High five for you. Thank you. Babadoo babadoo babadoo bah. Hi there.

I have two questions for you. One. How do you grate cheese? Do you hold the grater and move the cheese? Or do you hold the cheese and move the grater? Jesus. Well, I don't eat cheese. So how do you grate cheese?

Do you hold the grater and move the cheese? Depends what grater I'm using. How So how do you grate cheese? Do you move Do you hold the grater And move the cheese? Depends what grater I'm using How many graters have we got? I don't want to show off here But I've got a couple of graters Have we? I've got a couple of graters

Here and there Oh No idea Where are they kept? In ones in the cupboard Ones in the drawer I use Oh there's two in the cupboard actually

I've got a triangle one Right I've seen that one You still got that? Yeah you stand that up And you go and you've got it you put it on the table and you move the the cheese and it all goes inside okay so you move the cheese yeah i also grate carrots with it um when i'm making spaghetti bolognese uh and i've got a little one for parmesan uh and i think i move the cheese i'm doing it now on my hands i move the cheese on that as well and then another one which is like a bowl with a lid on,

which is the grater. Yeah, that's the one I know of. I moved the cheese. The votes are in. I moved the cheese. Verified. Thank you. Well done.

Thank you for the rotating pod. Anyone wondering, I don't like to touch cheese. That's why I don't know how great that's worth. Number two question. I'm 18 and my mum still expects to know my password and still expects to be able to check all my social media

on all my transactions. Do you think she should allow me to have more independence? Is this on the same question? That's the same question. Sorry! Oh, fuck me! I feel like this person really just wanted to ask the second question, but thought, hang on.

Hang on, I need to break up this question with a weird question about cheese. I need to break up this question with a weird question about cheese. Well, actually, just in case the mam read it. I genuinely thought... Yeah, the mam skims through the emails. The mam skims it and thinks, oh, I'm just asking a weird little podcast about cheese. It's hidden within the question.

Oh, fuck me. That was literally like, oh, Jesus. Got two questions. One, do you put water on the toothbrush before your toothpaste? And two, what happens when you die? Jesus Christ. I can't believe there was two questions that have come from the same person. Here's your warm-up.

Here's your warm-up knockabout trivial Sunday afternoon question. I've got two questions. What's your favourite kind of clock? And the other one is, I murdered my step-mum. Where should I hide the bunny? Jesus. Well, person with two personalities, the answer to your second question, I think, is

you're 18. I don't think she should be all up in your business anymore. No, I don't think she should at all. I think you should change your passwords, tell her to bog off. I mean, be nice about it because I'm going to be in this position one day. But, yeah, 18-year-old.

I'm not... Right, hang on. We've got a child. Fair play to that mum for keeping it until 18. Do you want to know when the 18-year-old... I don't want Right, hang on. We've got a child. Fair play to that man for keeping it until 18. Do you want to know when the 18-year-old... I don't want to be in his... No, definitely not. I wouldn't want to know. Nah. Absolutely not.

Rifling around in Robin's little internet brain. Oh, no thank you. God knows there'll probably be a bloody chip in his head by then. We'll probably have to plug into the back of his head. Like the Matrix. Why is this... Yeah, probably. God knows what it'll be, aye?

We'll put him on charge. I know. We'll go in on a night and scan his iris. Get his search history up. What have you been looking at? He's been messaging celebrities. Oh my God. No.

Tell her, no. Come on. Come on. Come on, this person's mom. That's enough. Yeah. Hey, hey. To link it to your first question,

say, hey, mom. I'm getting cheesed off with this. Yeah? It's grating on me. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Hi, Chris and Rosie. Hello.

In our family, we have our own words for certain things. For example, when my brother was little, he would only ever put on pants if they had a little man with a red and yellow car. Got you. And therefore, for us, underwear has always been known as noddies. Right. We had, but okay. Okay.

For obvious reasons, bras are known as booby holders. Yeah, I can see that. I can see your workings out there. See how they got there. My question is, do you have any words for things which could be crack

as to anyone else but normal and everyday in your house shishis shishis cereal I was saying that today yeah

I was on the phone with my mum a while ago and just said what's he had and I said oh he's just having some shishis

and she was like what it sounds like he's smoking some weed and he calls it daddy shishis because it's your cereal special care he calls it daddy shishies. Yeah. Because it's your cereal.

Yeah, special care. He calls it Daddy Shishies. That is very fun. Here's a little story for you. Yeah. When we were growing up. Can I just say, I love a growing up story. Wow.

Bloody love them. We had loads of words. Yeah. That didn't make any sense. Okay. I remember my mam called armpits oxters sorry? oxters

oxters? right put it in a sentence have you washed your oxters in the bath? fuck off man why did you just say armpits? I don't know, oxters I don't even know if it's a real word. That's so weird.

Okay. That's so weird. Oh, what did we call poo again? Don't. Here we go. The suspense is killing me here. That's so weird. An uh-uh.

Uh-uh. Have you had an uh-uh? I swear I called it that until I was about six or seven. Yeah, of course you did. Your mum used to say, wash your clock. Face. Face.

That makes sense. Yeah. That's fine. My brother's bits were called a chucky horrible that by the way you still sometimes you say that about robin and it makes us it just it sounds minging chucky it's oh no so this is the one i remember my brother for months was when he was about three he used to say please go watch Chickabeezen. I want to watch Chickabeezen. And we were like, Chickabeezen?

Seriously, me mum and dad were demented. What is he talking about? I remember me and me sister were like, Kevin, what is Chickabeezen? What's Chickabeezen holding toys up going? Is this Chickabeezen? Are these Chickabeezen? And then one afternoon, we had the telly on

and Chickavision came on. Chickabeezen. and then one afternoon we had the telly on and Chukka Vision came on and he was going Chikka Beezin Chikka Beezin Chikka Chikka Beezin Chikka Beezin Chikka Chikka Beezin

but it was Chukka Vision Chukka Chukka Vision and that was it Chikka Beezin Chikka Beezin this is the Mr. Trit this should be called a Chikka Beezin

it's a much better name Chikka Chikka Beezin Chikka Beezin Chikka Chikka Beezin anyway so that was it did you have any weird words Chickabeezen This is the Mr. Trit They should have called her Chickabeezen It's a much better name Chicka Chickabeezen Chicka Chickabeezen Chicka Chickabeezen Anyway So that was it Did you have any weird words growing up? Oh

Do you know what it is right? I think Being an only child Has made me forget A lot of my childhood Oh Well it has No because picture this right

What did we used to call poo? Who should I ring? No one to ring Oh No one to ring No brother or sister to phone ring? No one to ring. Oh. No one to ring. No brother or sister to phone. No one.

No one. And your mum doesn't like baby words. No, I never got, yeah, no, Baba's was never used, nothing like that, no. Baba's is children.

Baba's means children in the north, yeah. I literally can't remember and that's sad. Yeah. That's the thing. I live vicariously through you. I hear all these lovely little stories of your childhood and I get to love them and I haven't got that. And that's sad. That's the thing. I live vicariously through you. I hear all these lovely little stories of your childhood

and I get to love them. And I haven't got that many. Oh, brave. Because I'm, it's all, I'm the only record of it. And my mum denies half the things that happened. I do them in stand-up, things that happened. She'd go, I can't remember that, you're lying about that. And I'd go, no, that genuinely happened.

Maybe you are lying about it. Maybe you've just made a fictional past. That sounds plausible. Babe, do you want a hug? Oh, am I allowed to hug? Are you offering me a hug? I don't have to ask you. I've changed my mind. I should have just took the hug. Change your mind.

Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah! It's time for this week's Celebrity Question. Celebrity Question. And this week it is Mr. George Clark. Off the telly off his shows that you love he's really tall

in real life he is quite tall in real life he's a lovely man he's a very nice man and he always tells people that they've got a

amazing space hey guys you've got here an amazing space congratulations on your amazing space. And you can sit at the island and have a glass of wine.

How dare we take the mick of him? He's literally from 15 minutes up the road. He's from 15 minutes up the road. And I literally text him saying he got a question and he did it almost instantaneously. Thank you. So yeah, here he is. Hi, Chris. Hi, Rosie. It is George Clark. I hope you're both really, really well. almost instantaneously thank you so yeah here he is hi chris hi rosie it is george clark i hope

you're both really really well so this is my question i want to know what is the one thing that drives you absolutely mad about each other now it needs to be like one of those tiny little things that you've never talked about before you've never discussed it but one of those tiny things where you just go oh my god why did she do, and I wish she didn't do that, or I wish he didn't do that. It could be anything from the way you bite an apple, to the way you pick your ear, to the way you might mispronounce a word, but you've never discussed it before. It's got to be talked about for the first time, and I want to know all the reasons why. And just to balance it out, because I'm a very balanced man,

I'd also love to know a tiny little thing that you really love about each other that you've never talked about before. One of those quirky little things where you go, oh, that's so sweet. She's so lovely when she does it. Oh, isn't he really cute when he does that? That's my question. Oh, George. A mini beef beef is this a mini beef opportunity do you know what it is uh he's essentially given me a chance to bring up something that i've never

been able to squeeze into the beefs because it sounded like too much of a little thing i've always had it written in my beefs right i've always had it written in the thing i'm about to say and i teased it earlier on in the episode i've always had it written in and i've thought you know what it's a i'm gonna come out with it and she's gonna go why does that how can that annoy you it's not that it's nothing and here it is right and you did it earlier on what rosie you know absolutely zero common phrases or sayings you know friggin non like non like a bird in the hands worth two in the bush like you don't know what so anytime i'll not and i just see you glaze over what was the one you did earlier on that you tripped yourself up about right at the beginning i don't know but you did

it earlier on in the podcast with one and now and then i'll just say things and i'll be like oh well you know like it's par for the course or whatever and you'll be like what what does that mean i'll be like right they confuse me a little bit do you know what i mean i just find i know them but i always get them wrong yeah is it pulling your arm or is it pulling your leg oh yeah i've just remembered what the one earlier on was it was um uh your clothes will end up wearing you. But it was actually the things you won't end up owning you. Honestly. I just find them complicated. So irritating.

You know none of them. You know none of them. Oh, sorry. I didn't realise that was an important part of a personality. To know stupid phrases. That is why I've never done it in the beefs. That's why I've saved it there. That's why George has just got it out.

It was like blood from a stone there. Do you get that one? Blood from a stone? Do you understand what that one means? I've never done it in the beefs. That's why I've saved it there. That's why George has just got it out. It was like blood from a stone there. Do you get that one? Blood from a stone? Do you understand what that one means? I've heard that one before. What about kill two birds with one stone? I know that one. Yeah?

Yeah. Yeah, good, good. Having a laugh? That's not one. That's definitely not one. Bird in the hand is worth two in the bush? You've said that one before. Do you understand what that means?

Stop trying to be clever. What is it? A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush? A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush? You've said that one before. Do you understand what that means? What is it? A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush? A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Right. I wish this was a video because you just pretended to have a bird in your hand and then you just pointed into the distance

as if there's a bush over there, which is great. I don't understand what that means. What does it mean? A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. So a bird in your hand because it's in your hand and it's lovely and you can see it. Tweet, tweet. And then two in the bush. Right. They're further because it's in your hand and it's lovely and you can see it tweet tweet and then one two in the bush right they're further away you can't eat them i can't eat them oh i don't understand what you're doing is you're taking them literally now they're

not literal right it's not literally about a bird right stop putting your hand out and looking at it as a bird it's in my bird it's a metaphor so it's like the having a thing having the thing as yours and to hold and to touch and having it actually at your disposal and being able to you know have it you've acquired it okay that's worth you know more of that thing that isn't attainable to you. So there's no birds at all? Right, no. The bird's an example. It can be anything.

It could be a cake. A cake in the hand is worth two in the shop. That's the most... Do you understand that, though? A cake in the hand is worth two in the shop. Why do a bird? Why not just say, oh, something important in the hand

is worth something more important in the bush? Well, because you just couldn't even say that there. What to do in the hand is worth something more important than the bush. Well, because you just couldn't even say that there. What to do in the bush? Where the fuck's the... You brought the bush into it. I don't say these stupid things. Stupid. Do I get a turn

for a little one? This is a really quick little one. Yeah? Yeah. Of course. You recently you eat like a grander eat like a manky old grander it's horrible have you noticed this i've noticed you're looking at us sometimes when i mean depends what i'm eating depends i don't do with every food it's just like now and then i look at you and i go i think i was making a noise there just clacking.

And I feel like you might have actually done this your whole life, but you've kept it a bit of a secret because, you know, sex and that. But then we're seven years in now, and I think you're just letting it all slide, and you just eat like I remember me granddad used to eat. Oh, my God. It's vile. So anyway, you know, eating in the hand,

two in the bush. Right. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. What we're going to do next week, right? On next week's podcast, I'm going to guess, I'm just trying to Google them there and I haven't got time.

We're going to get a list of common phrases like that and I'm going to test you on them for next week's podcast. Okay. Sound good? Can't wait. We've got to say something we love about each other as well by the way i this is a little bit vain sort of but i like it when you tell us that i look nice

and you do it quite often which is lovely thank you wow does that count as something you love about me that's why i thought this is probably not that nice because the thing i love about you is what you love about me um what do you love about me be honest with you you got a decent pair of breasts if you don't get that go back and listen to the rest of the episodes it's the end of another episode thank you you so much for listening. Don't forget to subscribe, rate, email in, shagmaridanoid at gmail.com if you've got any questions. Thank you so much. Yeah.

I'm a bit awkward. I normally do the email at the end. Oh, shit. No, it's fine. I'll find something to say. Should we do it again? No, no, it's fine. Have a nice evening

or afternoon or morning whenever you listen I feel all naked can't just say the email address again it's not fun so feel free to get in touch

at shagmountainordygmail.com that's better that feels like a warm bath feel better now I feel much better thanks for listening bye guys bye

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