Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 223. Hot Heat

Episode Date: June 23, 2023

Rosie is on holiday so this week so as well as some pre-holiday beef, we have put together some QFTP's they have never made it to the podcast! There's hamsters, icks, a would you rather and lots more bizarre and wonderful contributions from the Smas and Das. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. No, no, don't. The First Omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil. Movie of the year. It's not real.

It's not real. It's not real. Who said that? The First Omen. In theaters Friday. Get tickets now. Hello, you're listening to Shagmire Denied. With me, Rosie Ramsey, and my husband, Christopher Ramsey.

Hello, hello, hello, hello. If all has gone to plan and I'm still alive, I've just got back off my holidays. That should be, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're recording this in advance, straight after episode 222. This is episode 223, straight after episode 222. I am fully clothed, but I'm sad to say

it's still boiling in this room. It's really hot. I'm really upset. I can't. Oh, for to say it's still boiling in this room it's really hot I'm really upset I can't oh for god it's ridiculous I can't live like this anymore we are

I've sorted it we are moving to Alaska you are going there by yourself okay but I'll be honest with you even more

great I'm even more up for it now I've told you one day one day we'll split up and we'll have the kids 50-50 70-30

and life will be lovely 70-30 in your favour now listen so you are going on holiday aren't you I've been mate well you've been

by the time this comes out I've been maths fucking hell yes but talking to you as a human now to your face you haven't been yet

that's complicated no it's not it's a normal conversation you looking forward to it yes good do you want me to pack in yes I've done it all that's It's a normal conversation. Are you looking forward to it? Yes. Good. Do you want me to pack in?

Yes, I've done it all. That's what I noticed you've been. Have you actually, so you, did you order them tiny little bottles off Amazon or did your mum bring you them? The little decanter bottles? Yeah. Kate got us them yesterday. Why?

Because they have been moved and carried around the house in various different places. Have you filled them fully now? I've only filled one travel wash. Because you were whinging on about how you needed, you kept saying saying to me do you have decanters which is not the word but you have little bottles to decant into would probably be the phrase i said no then you said you'd sorted some then i went outside in the garden and they were outside in the garden and i brought them in and you went i've been looking for them then you left them at the side of the

sofa then you left them at a table in the kitchen then they were on the stairs yeah then they were by the side of your bed then they were in the bathroom are they now in your case with stuff in no because i brought it down no i brought one downstairs to fill so it's actually on the kitchen bench this is how i pack it's horrible it's just stuff everywhere it's awful yeah it's awful it's like you packing it's like like in a movie where they raid someone's house and try and find drugs. So you think that, right? But Sandra, I told my mum that I was all packed and everything

and I'm sorted, which I am pretty much. She can't believe it. Really? Yeah, because once upon a time, I'd have took a carrier bag, Chris. Yes. I'd have gone to Spain for a week with a carrier bag. Yeah, no, I understand.

Of unwashed knickers. Like, I a carrier bag yeah no I understand of unwashed knickers like I've changed just one carrier bag of unwashed knickers something like that well that's the thing but what she doesn't see

is the devastation you've left in your wake the devastation it's unbelievable it's like it's like there's been a tsunami in the house of clothes

and bottles and plastic bags and flip flops why are you so jealous of my holiday well I am jealous because hot heat hot hot heat hot hot hot heat bottles and plastic bags and flip-flops. Why are you so jealous of my holiday? Well, I am jealous because hot heat, hot, hot heat.

Hot, hot, hot heat? Hot heat. There he is with these big words. Like, when it's nice weather, as I've said last episode. Oh, is that what you meant? Yeah. Hot heat. Hot heat came out of it.

I had no idea. I had no idea what you were trying to say. I think I'm malfunctioning. You were trying to say... This is a horrible intro, by the way. We might have to do this again. Don't be so silly. Chris has been horrific.

You've been talking... Oh, what? And I normally talk normal stuff. I normally talk fucking sense on the podcast. You were trying to say, because it's hot today. Yeah. Yeah? I was going to say it's hot, yeah.

But instead I said hot heat. And then I said hot hot heat, which is a band I used to listen to when i was an indie boy hot hot heat goodbye actually yeah yeah really good band to be fair now listen right let's get back on track it is episode 223 and uh thank you for listening thank you for being here thank you for coming uh in this lovely hot weather and putting us in your red hot boiling hot fucking sizzling little ears unless you listen to this in cold weather in which case it might be by the time

this goes out it might be cold we could never do a block of these do you know when people say why don't you do them every week why don't you do them

in a block because we just couldn't I can't remember what I've done can't remember what I've said anyway listen it's time for this week's there is a sponsor

even though this is a holiday episode it's a lucrative lucrative sponsor this week's sponsor is the dead quick one dead quick one brought to you

in conjunction with our producer Daisy this week's sponsor is adults in dungarees pack it in you look like you're going to rescue Princess Peach from Bowser

grow up I don't get it why is Daisy involved in this has she wore dungarees she had them on the other week and she said this is going to be a sponsor isn't it I said fucking right it is I love dungarees I don't get it why is Daisy involved in this has she wore dungarees she had them on the other week and she said this is going to be a sponsor isn't it I said fucking right it is

I love dungarees I don't alright well so what do you think when I wear my dungarees I think you look like you're going to rescue Princess Peach

from Bowser and I feel like you've got a brother who's a bit taller than you and wears a green hat but you wear a red hat I think this is a discrimination

to be honest with you I love dungarees a discrimination when I wore well just discrimination when I wore be honest with you. I love dungarees. A discrimination. When I wore... Well, just discrimination. When I wore mine last time, you know me nana? Yeah. Me nana really complimented us.

Did she? Yeah, and I was quite surprised. Well, your nana who's at the forefront of fashion in 2023. I thought you were going to say something else then. No. I love your nana. She's amazing. Shout out, Bridge.

She's the absolute best. But yeah, she really complimented us. And I was like, oh, so actually, if you think I look stupid, I don't care because me Nana thinks I look great. I don't really think you look stupid. And people weren't done with me. Do you know what it is? I think.

You are jealous. You're jealous because you can't even wear a hat on holiday. You are so, what's the word? Not closeted. Is it where you're just so terrified to try new things? I closed off to new ideas. Yes. Yeah, well, yeah. is it where you just you're so terrified to try new things I closed off to new ideas yes yeah well yeah

recently again with the hot hot heat that's going on hot heat really jealous of girls in dresses really jealous

when I see when we're doing the TV show and just see someone standing in a dress and their legs are out and there's a gaping thing at the bottom where I think you're

getting loads of air up there as well really jealous oh my god you can wear one if you want really really jealous can we have anything can we have anything and there's a gaping thing at the bottom where I think you'll get loads of air up there as well. Really jealous. Oh my God. You can wear one if you want. Really, really jealous. Can we have anything? Can we have anything?

No. I feel like you should be forced to wear stuff that makes you warmer than a man. Why don't you just wear some shorts? Because I'm part of the problem. Really baggy shorts. I had shorts on and I went in the production office

and one of our producers went, ooh, look at you in your shorts and it made us really self-conscious for the rest of the day. That's ridiculous. Just because you've never seen any pair of shorts. Well, yeah. look at you and your shorts. And it made us really self-conscious for the rest of the day. That's ridiculous. Just because you've never seen any pair of shorts. Well, yeah.

Because you're so pathetic. Wow. There we go. That helps. That helps a lot. And you know what it is? Let us just have, I hate when this turns into

a man-woman thing, but I'm going to go there. On the podcast hosted by a man and a woman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It often happens. Yeah. Let us have something

because something happened the other day and I'm going to let you all know. Robin, what did he cut? I can't remember. Rafe cut other day and I'm going to let you all know erm Robin what did he cut can't remember Rafe cut his knee and I picked it up Rafe sorry

the other one Rafe cut his knee the other one he cut his knee he was bleeding and Chris picked him up and he got a bit of blood on his t-shirt

and honestly he like it was near the end of the day so he would have been getting changed into his like comfies for the night time so I could tell

where your brain was at you were like I'm getting changed in half an hour so i might just leave this on there wasn't that much blood but you hummed and hard for like that half an hour and you were you were i can't keep it on it just feels weird there's blood on my top it's really odd rosie it's horrible this is awful i'm gonna have to get changed like men would not survive a period. Nah, nah. You would not survive. I have had to go a full day at work with blood on my knickers. Like, just fully blown. Just let it dry.

There's nothing I can do. It was pathetic. It was on the front of my T-shirt. And the T-shirt was like a baby blue colour. It was like a powder blue colour T-shirt. But it was a lovely T-shirt. It's just awful to watch. I know I talk about periods a lot

sorry not sorry don't care I just don't think you could cope at all because it's awful yeah you just bleed out your vagina although

just a little news here I'm going to go on the coil I've decided yeah happy days no more condoms Chris are you excited oh

sick of looking at you putting condoms on really really ruins the mood if I'm honest with you. It's nothing less sexy. Trying to find the right way. Nip in the end, rolling it down. Awful.

Just proper ruins the mood. I can't wait. Okay. Well, you know, maybe I like wearing them. No. Wear them with someone else, not with me. Deal. I can't believe you cheated on us

you said you said you said you said anyway play the jingle here's the jingle we had a fight about the jingle

jingle we couldn't settle on a jingle jingle so this is the jingle jingle we hope you is the jingle, jingle. We hope you like the jingle, jingle. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bap. Jingle!

Now, as Rosie is technically on holiday at the moment, this is kind of a half out-of-office reply episode. So we're going to play you through some questions that we have had omitted from the podcast, whether they were too disgusting or whether they were too hot, hot heat. Hot, hot. Hot to heatle.

Or too hot to hand heatle. Hand, heat hand. Or maybe just, you know, might have been... Here's an example. Daisy's editing the podcast. There's three stories about fingering. I'll save one of them, pull it back. This is a bit of a fingering-heavy episode.

That kind of thing. So you're going to get some unused questions brought to you by our wonderful producer daisy but before you get them it is a very it's time for what's chris's beef what's chris's beef beef beef why don't i why can't i do it on holiday right you've had enough fun right is this a joke hey listen to me i'll tell you what my beef is i think i'll tell you what you all probably know what my beef is now anyone there out there looking at your calendar and thinking oh she went on holiday on that friday oh and she's back oh what did you miss father's day oh do you know what it is on holiday you can swivel with my baby rafe tuck him away from us for father's day the most important day of the year certainly of my year where both my children are there to remind us that i'm a father and it is indeed a day have you got something oh you're yeah yeah well well

well so uh she just as well told us she just as well told us before we started that uh oh no chris i got your present for father's day but it's not getting to i pressed the wrong day it's not getting delivered till next friday the 23rd so when this podcast comes out today yeah today as this podcast comes out i will be the only father in all of the world tucking into his happy father's day cookie that came in the post a week after father's day i mean what are they thinking? Do you know what? Why? I can get in touch with them.

They haven't sent, I only ordered it today. Why is it even an option to get the Father's Day cookie delivered? I don't know. Not on Father's Day? It's... What's it going to say?

Did I read it wrong? Because it was like, if you order it before two o'clock time, it's only half past twelve. If you order it before two o'clock, you can get it like the next day or the day after. And I was like, oh, I'll get it on the Friday

because I'm away for the Sunday and I knew that you were going to be in the house on the Friday. But I have picked the Friday after. I'm really sorry. I'm going to get a mouldy Father's Day cookie, a week old. No, you're not. Because they're not going to make it.

It'll be fresh. So after Father's Day, they're going to make a happy Father's Day cookie to send to this mug here, are they? Should I check? I don't know what it's going to say. Bloody Battle of Day cookie to send to this mug here, are they? Should I check? I don't know what. It's going to say bloody Battle of the Boyne or something, isn't it? Oh, I'll check.

Happy Battle of the Boyne Day. Should I give them a shout out who they're from? I'm not that bothered. No, I don't want to fight. It's Blondie's Kitchen in London. I really like them. I know, I know, I know. Oh, for God's sake.

It looks really nice. Well, Father's Day giant milk chocolate cookie. Oh, for... And it's got a personalised... A giant one? Yeah and it's got a person yeah it's got a message that says happy father's day daddy oh it's 36 quid 36 quid i really love you so as you listen to this think of me eating my week old father's day cookie on my own not sharing it with these dickheads in the

house by the way or the kids can have some you're not having it you're honestly Rosie I'm serious

don't even look at my father's day cookie I don't want any because I okay yeah yeah we'll

remember that honestly unbelievable happy father's day it's time for questions from the public

questions from the public public public now as you already know Rosie's away and I'm not It's time for questions from the public. Questions from the public. Public. Public. Now, as you already know, Rosie's away and I'm not technically here. So these are all questions that have been scraped off the top of the barrel and then dropped back into the barrel and then mixed up in the barrel and then poured into your fucking ears. I'm a bit worried because I can't remember what these are.

I can't remember most of these. I can't remember most of these. Honestly, I think Daisy will take them out and go bit much that one I'll leave that one so hear the oral we'll see what ends up

but don't get too excited they might not be all horrific they might just be you know sometimes we do too much because we get carried away anyway here you are thank you for listening

and if you want to get in touch and send any of your own questions or stories or anything else it's shaggedmardinoid at gmail.com cheers guys we love yous

oh I'm going to Ibiza not going to Ibiza it's shaggedmoudenoid at gmail.com. Cheers, guys. We love yous. Oh, I'm going to Ibiza. Not going to Ibiza. It's not true. You're going to Mioga. Yeah. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Dear Rosie and Chris, we've listened to your podcast

from the beginning and love it. Finally decided to write in. Get in. Me and my husband have a bedtime game we think you both would enjoy. Cool. I don't know if we would end it. I don't know. me and my husband have a bedtime game we think you both would enjoy cool um

i don't know if we wouldn't right depends because the way our listeners are this is either no no silly really disgusting or really fucking filthy no right it doesn't involve inserting any strange objects into one another trying to jump off wardrobes dressed as batman or even any old comrades right it doesn't it's a simple game of fanny or thigh fanny or thigh fanny or thigh explain fanny or thigh how to play how to play well they sent the instructions yeah whilst both under the duvet heads poking out i give either my fanny or thigh a light tap and my husband has to guess which one it is. From the noise? From the noise. Sorry.

I've gotten rather good and have learned to try and throw him off by making my hand appear through the duvet as if I'm tapping the other body part. How did this game come about? Don't know. How did this game come about? Some nights, Chris, some nights we just have a quick one round and other nights maybe three

or four rounds. Party or fight? Very aware this isn't a family friendly game However, hope you both give it a try And get some enjoyment Fanny up That's amazing So she taps it

From the noise So I'm just going to do it on my boob now Or was that a boob? You'll never know Boob or back That's tricky Boob or back that's tricky boob or gunt fanny or gunt

so she slaps a fanny or a thigh and has to guess which one it is people are people are unique just amazing do you want to try it tonight no dick or gooch.

Hi Rosie and Chris I've just listened in episode 192 thought you'd appreciate this Rosie. My dad used to go out drinking in the pub on weekends and leave his jeans behind the bathroom door when he got in. Right I thought you were going to say leaves his jeans behind the bar and walks home with his jeans. behind the bathroom door when he got in. Right, I thought you were going to say he leaves his jeans behind the bar and walks home with his jeans. That's my dad. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

At first, I'd just take one pound and put it in my money pot. But I soon noticed he had no idea, so it quickly turned to notes. Wow. If he had two of one type of note, I'd always take one, leaving him with one

so he wouldn't get suspicious. Little bastard. A year or more of this went by and we were due to go to Florida on holiday. I told my mum what I'd always take one, leaving him with one so he wouldn't get suspicious. Little bastard. A year or more of this went by and we were due to go to Florida on holiday. I told my mum what I'd been doing and could I change some of the money to dollars. We opened the tin and there was probably nearly a grand in there. What? I promise I'm no thief nowadays. I actually have a job whereby if I picked a penny up on the street,

I'd think professional standards were watching and I'd lose my job. And I'll a penny up on the street I'd think professional standards were watching and I'd lose my job and see you in Manchester next year wow keep your keep your purses

on you Manchester oh yeah god I care for Manchester there's a dirty filthy thief in the crowd imagine that that's mad but that could

totally be done because if you think right but hold on though she said she then went to her mam he or she I don't know who it is, went to the mum, oh, I've been nicking off my dad for a year.

Can I get these change of dollars? Why did we not get any notice of the repercussion then? I think the mum was like, oh, mint, aye, there you go. You can feed yourself this holiday. That's crazy. But it could be done, right? Because if you think, nowadays it's a lot more cashless, isn't it? You use cards and that.

But back in the day when you'd go out, you'd use your notes and that. And I used to always come home and in my little pocket in my purse or in my bag or whatever, I'd have like six quid or seven quid in pound coins. And you wouldn't know, you don't know how much you've got left over. Well, it's like free money in the morning because you are drunk and you don't know. Oh my God, a 20 quid note, that's amazing. Not knowing that that's the 20 quid left from the fucking 80 quid

you spent the night before. I know. Yeah. Do you not remember them nights sometimes where you'd hardly spent anything and you'd be like, oh my God,

what happened? So what would you do if Robin turned around and went, if the exact same scenario and you went, I've been, I've been nicking out

my dad's jeans for a year. I'd be raging. I wouldn't speak to him for a week. Yeah. He wouldn't come to Florida. Wouldn't come to Florida. I'd say,

you dirty, rotten little thief. That's really good. Or I would just go, oh, thanks for saving that money up for us, son, and I'd take raging. I wouldn't speak to him for a week. Yeah. He wouldn't come to Florida. Wouldn't come to Florida. I'd say, you dirty, rotten little thief. That's really good. Or I would just go, oh, thanks for saving that money up for us, son. Oh, cheers, eh? And I'd take the grand back and I'd go, you've done well, thank you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you for saving it up. Yeah. Unbelievable, that, like. I can't wait to get you pissed when we're all done. Let Robin rob off you. I'd be like, he's out, Robin, Rafe, go on, get his wallet.

Get his card. Like, I'll be allowed to go out. Shut up. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Hi, Rafe, go on. Get his wallet. Get his card. I'll be allowed to go out. Shut up. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Hi, Chris and Rosie. I've been re-listening to some episodes and it makes me think of a would you rather question. So here it is.

Oh, lovely. I do enjoy would you rather. I like a lateral thinking. I like a choice. I loved would you rather when you were a kid. Would you rather. Brilliant, just brilliant. Would you rather. Sorry, just brilliant. Would you rather?

Sorry, can I just say though, it was always, I remember me and my mates when I was younger, it was always stuff like, like, would you kiss, like, would you kiss the ugliest lass in the year

for 10 million pound? And you know, it was like, argh, nah, you shut, fucking shut up. One, you little virgin, you haven't kissed anyone, mate. And two, 10 million quid. Don't be ridiculous. And three, you married her. I did't kissed anyone, mate. And two, 10 million quid. Don't be ridiculous.

And three, you married her. I did marry her. I did marry her. Right, okay. Would you rather drink a hot drink made from water that has bloodstained knickers in or drink cold water from a glass that someone has washed their cock in?

There's more. There's more. The bloodstained knickers are fresh-ish. Back story, back story. I love the way you think, I love the way you think, it's the same way that we think. So we're going hot blood or cold cock is what we're going. Hot blood or cold cock. Hot blood or cold cock. Hot blood or cold cock. Water. Right, okay. The blood stained knickers are fresh-ish from 24 hours ago. 24 hours. Fresh blood and got to drink the whole mug. That's in a mug, right? Okay. Hot. So the knickers are fresh-ish from 24 hours ago. 24 hours. Fresh blood and got to drink the whole mug.

That's in a mug, right? Okay. Hot. So the knickers being steeped in it and then taken out while the knickers in there, they're going to be flattening around getting me off of them.

Let's take them out. Right, okay. It's just the water, right? So we've took the tea bags out. Yeah. Yeah. The glass, so right, here you go.

I've just started using period knickers. Changed my life. Brilliant. Great. It's a pair of my period knickers, right? That's just. Or does that make it work? It doesn't make it better because it's me pair of my period knickers right or does that make it it doesn't make it better

because it's me are you off your fucking face you think I would rather eat blood because it's yours yes don't fucking get in the bin blood's blood I don't give a

as long as you haven't got anything it's still blood I'm not bothered if it's yours as long as it's medically clean hang on I'm really offended by that oh really

what do you think I'm sorry where's this blood sourced from oh local oh local my own house oh lovely

I'd rather drink your blood than someone off the street that's just why but I just feel like

because you like me yes but I don't like you I just feel like it's so disgusting that it wouldn't really matter

I'm dead upset by that do you know what I mean I'm highing up in the toilet. It's wet, hot, clotted blood coming out from this. Would you rather I didn't? By the way, it was Rosie's.

Oh, great. I'm still hoeing up, is my point. Wow. What an amazing thing to get upset about. Right, fair enough. So he won't drink me blood. What's the point of being mad? Your Honour, I'll demand full custody because he wouldn't drink me blood.

He wouldn't drink your blood. Get that man to prison. Right, come on, what's the other bit? The glass is a pint glass and is a month old and has been used to wash a guy's penis after he's had sex at least twice a week and wanked at least five times a week. And you've got to finish the whole glass. What are you drinking?

I'll know straight away. Yeah, it's got to be the hot thing, hasn't it? It's got to be the hot blood. It's got to be the hot thing. That's terrible. Now that they've gone for a look with. You dry fucking cumula.

It's a month old. Oh. I wouldn't drink a month old glass of water without a cock in it. How long has this been out on the bench? 15 minutes.

Here's another cup. Yeah, I think it's definitely there. I mean, it's a good would you rather, but usually. Good. The word good, it's horrible. Oh yeah, of course it's definitely there. I mean, it's a good would you rather, but usually... Good, the word good, it's horrible. Oh, yeah, of course it is.

Yeah, but it does what it says on the tin. I feel a little bit sick. Do you? Just a little bit sick. I feel like the hot might kill some germs as well. That's true. If it's like boiling water, it might kill some germs. Can you imagine the lid, like the topping on that glass? It's reminded me, I often forget about that.

That's probably one of the worst things we've ever had. The guy who had his cock washed. The guy who just washed his cock in that glass of water at the side of the bed. What's that? That's me cock wash. Next question. Who does that?

That's horrible. That guy and probably loads more people now. There will be people who listened to that episode and went, what a fucking idea. Yeah, here's me. Traipsing me junk to the to the bathroom sink straight at b&m b&m bargains or home bargains where you can buy six pint glasses in a big in a big thing or just you wouldn't be able to fill it all the way up with water though would

you because if you're going to dip it in it's going to fill up so it's got to be it's only half full really i think you know i think the water displacement for a normal average-sized penis is not going to be half a pint of water. Maybe I've just been with well-endowed lads. Not anymore, you nuts! Joke's on you! You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe-Hirwe, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Jimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring,

followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece. Symphony Exploder. April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit TSO.ca. This Friday. You must be very careful, Margaret. It's a girl. Witness the birth. Bad things will start to happen.

Evil things. Of evil. It's all. You know, don't. The first omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying.

Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil. Movie of the year. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. Who said that? The First Omen. In theaters Friday.

Get tickets now. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Center for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind.

So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Babadoo babadoo babadoo bah. Got another ick and I really like this one. Never thought I would write in but this is just a service to the public. The other day I read my husband's LinkedIn profile. The bit where he writes about himself and oh my God, ick.

He called himself a pillar in his community. You can't call yourself that. That's something other people say about you. I am a pillar in my community. What the fuck? What the hell, dude? Listen, doing the old, what's it, the Trump method. Oh, that's, wow.

A pillar, I am a pillar in my community. Everyone says it. Hashtag says me. Wow. Dear Rosie and Chris, just listening to episode 175 and Chris telling the story about his arse hair knotting together. Yay!

And I've just had to stop my walk to email you this story. There we go. I remember one of my male friends telling me about the time this happened to him. We can call him Harry. Harry. Harry.

Harry, Harry. Harry, Harry. Harry, us Harry. Harry was, funnily enough, one of the muscle-tight T-shirt guys you were talking about earlier in the episode. He was quite a hairy guy,

chest, back, arms, etc., well apart from his bald, his head, he's bald as a coot. Aww. That happens. Testosterone. Testosterone. Too much testosterone. Lose the hair on the head, but hairier for reals. arms etc well apart from his bald his head he's bald as a coot that's that happens testosterone testosterone too much testosterone lose the hair on the head but hair everywhere else yeah it was a hot summer's day and harry was walking home from work as he was walking he started to feel pulling

on his butt cheeks oh here we are with each step the tighter and tighter it got he used to jump over a little wee wall on his way on his walk, but this time he literally couldn't lift his leg that high for fear of giving himself a good plucking. He had to belly roll over it. It really hurts. It's like someone nipping each side of your arse right in the middle. Eventually, with tiny little baby steps, he made it home. Hooray!

But that's not where the story ends. He also couldn't bend over as it was so tightly knotted he had to get his mum to help him cut the hairs apart yes he still lived at home no don't let your mum cut your ass hair i do think he actually regretted telling me the stories i told everyone and now you guys but it's just too funny a story not to tell. Am I going to have to do that one day? Am I going to have to cut my children's, grown adult children's arse hair apart? Because that's something I'm not really wanting to do,

if I'm honest with you. Comes in, shuts the front door. Mum! Mum, it's happened again! Mum, it's happened! Get the arse hair scissors! Get the secateurs, Mum! Get the arse hair scissors. Get the secateurs, man. Get the arse hair scissors and get the vanish oxy action. I had to tummy roll over the wall again

and I'm dirty in my shirt. So grim. His mom had to cut his arse hair. I just put my finger in and pulled it out. Oh, God. Yeah. Just trim your arse hair. You trim your arse hair?

I don't have any arse hair. I don't have arse hair that knots together. Let's put it that way. It's only happened once. It's happened once. Fucking hell. And it was awful. It was when I used to go jogging after work on a night when I was younger.

And yeah, it was horrible. I'm sorry, right? As a woman, it is awful. Man's arse hair. Arse hair. If you ever catch a glimpse of it on the sly, it's fucking grotesque. Sort it out, lads. Just trim it a bit.

It doesn't have to be so long. I've seen some horrendous arses in my time. I'm not a hairy guy. I know you're not. I'm not specifically talking about you, but I've seen some hairy arses. And I don't mind hair on a bloke. I think it's quite nice. Not around your arse.

Right, okay. There we go. Sorry, everyone. It's all coming out. bosses and i don't mind hair on a blog i think it's quite nice not around your ass right okay sorry everyone coming out and then the fact that i just nodded together it's just not so i just had one i had basically like what i always imagine is i imagine you know um you know when they go and do the high jump and they're going over that pole the horizontal bar mine was just one horizontal bar of hair this Harry guy sounds like he had a fucking cage going across is it because it's sweaty

loads of hairs it's sweaty and I don't know I don't know what happens it's a phenomenon no it's like well it's because it rubs together it's like a comet

yeah oh god it's disgusting but what don't get your mum to cut it mate could have cut it himself I just jumped straight in the shower

I just jumped straight in the shower and just pulled it apart that doesn't well if I've got a knot in my hair going in the shower I just fuck all could have cut it himself I just jumped straight in the shower I just jumped straight in the shower and just pulled it apart that doesn't well if I've got a knot in my hair going in the shower I just fuck all

could have conditioned it yeah boom or just cut it himself get a mirror get your fucking phone you know what these people are like man

the people who send stuff in you'll end up in A&E with a pair of scissors up his arse man yeah I was cutting it and then I saw some bee at the window

and I fell over and the scissors went up my arse. And then I got a lamp to get the scissors out and there was a lamp up my arse. And then I got my dad to drive a Ford Fiesta up my arse to push them all out my mouth. Help. Fucking hell. How did you get a condom on a Ford Fiesta? Dunno.

Always wrapping in condoms, isn't it? Honestly, what a waste of money. Please keep me anonymous as I now hold a very senior position in my organisation. Fucking hell, this sounds good. Oh, serious. This story goes back about 25 years to when I was 19 years old and training to be a nurse. I had returned to my parents for the weekend with my washing and to be fed on the Saturday night I traveled to our local nightclub and spent the evening getting extremely pissed and making general merriment I have no

recollection of the journey home or getting to bed or going to bed you to my level of extreme inebriation I have a habit of sleepwalking when in this condition and in this particular night was no exception. At about 4am, I walked suddenly to find myself standing in mum and dad's spare room. I was leaning on a stepladder, pissing into a bucket of wallpaper paste. They were decorating at the time.

Hey, not a bad place. Of all the places to do it, not a bad place. Into a bucket of wallpaper paste. The bucket's already there, like, you know. At least he's not done it in a cupboard or a drawer or his mass face yeah

said it now that's gonna happen to me isn't it I was still pissed that my decision making process wasn't great hence I decided

to finish the piss rather than stem the flow and move to the bathroom when my bladder was completely void of urine I then decided

not to deal with the issue there and then which would undoubtedly wake my parents and leave a of urine, I then decided not to deal with the issue there and then, which would undoubtedly wake my parents and leave a lot of explaining. I decided I would leave things as they were and get up early the next morning and make up a fresh bucket of paste. I grabbed the painting brush, gave the bucket a good stir and returned to my bed with great intentions. I woke at about two o'clock the next afternoon, until my horror found that my poor dad had got up early

and finished papering the room. He brought me in and showed me his great work. I sheepishly commented on how good his joins and pattern matches were and soon afterwards departed for student life again. I have never told my poor parents about what happened that night and the paper remains on the wall to this day. There's a layer of piss holding that paper to the wall. Do you think it would smell?

I'd rather the house was haunted. I'd rather the house was haunted than have someone's piss keeping the paper on the wall. You dirty dog. Do you think it would... And we've got two boys, you know. We're going to have to deal with all of this shit one day. No, we're not. Do you not think?

I'm not leaving wallpaper paste out for people to piss in. It's a very specific problem, that. Well, what if it was something else? I don't know. I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. What if they're pissed in your athletic greens? They're moving out. They're both moving out.

I'd be fucking raging they will you know nah they will we're going to have two drunk teenagers in the house one day oh god

babadoo babadoo babadoo bah hi Rosie and Chris just a quick one from me I've just walked into the communal office kitchen to find that someone has brought in

a slow cooker and is making what I presume is their lunch in it. Bin. Throw the whole thing in the bin. Skip outside. If it's an office, you must have a big biffer bin. Skip outside. Unplug it, carry it straight down and sling it in. Selfish, dirty, horrible, rotten sods. I don't know why it's weird,

but I think it is. Someone left home this morning and consciously took their slow cooker with them in the office. And no, it does not belong in the office. So many questions did they fill it at home and then just plug it in when they got in? What's wrong with bringing in the final product and some took it away? It made me feel very uneasy. Yeah

some people are so fucking self indulgent do you know that? Selfish and selfish I'll bring my slow cooker in there's room in the door. Don't. Don't. Is it that bad? Yeah One you're stinking the office out it does smell i went around my mom's the other day and she was making a soup or something in the slow cooker and i left and i went to um see my mates for a rehearse and i stunk yeah of like

just broth yeah and veg like lush when you smell it lovely when you smell of it some people are just so maybe they're making the tea but isn't that what a slow cooker is for you might put it on just leave it on at home yeah why you brought it out you you literally you maybe it's the first time using a slow cooker you really defeating the entire i hate slow cookers and i hate people who do stuff like that like it's right the one thing that sums it up is you ever seen that episode of friends where janice comes and lives with chandler and monica for a while she comes in and lives with them on event there's like hell on and she's like okay does

anyone need to use the uh the bathroom before i go in and have my bath because she's like has a bath at a certain time and even though she's somewhere else she's still gonna have a bath at that time it's that kind of person well i'm doing'm doing me slow cooker. Well, you're at work and other people are in this office and you're stinking the whole place out of fucking cabbage broth or whatever the fuck you're making. Well, but I'm making my thing.

Well, the world doesn't fucking revolve around you and your fucking tea. There's a lot of people who've been brought up, you know, and I blame the parents. They've been brought up to think that they are the most important people

in the planet. In the planet? On the planet. On the planet. in the planet in the planet on the planet inside the planet on the planet and it's it's when you come across them it's really it's actually eye-opening yeah because you go oh wow you really think that you are that important are you are you looking at me are you saying this sometimes you're like you're not that bad but sometimes you can be a bit like that but a little bit triggered that's all i've met loads of people like that yeah and you go you actually think that your opinion matters in this situation don't you you're not important at all

like just crack on and wind your neck in wow never been told to wind the neck and never been told shut the fuck up loads of people haven't been told to shut the fuck up yeah i was constantly when i was younger oh yeah shut the fuck up i't listened to. That's why I need to do this every living. Same. Same. Babadoo babadoo babadoo bah. Dear Chris and Rosie, my beef is chicken. What?

So that was in, what's it called? Is it a subject box? What's it called? At the top of the email. Yeah, the subject of the email. Subject. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was in the subject, right? My beef is chicken. Yeah. Please keep this anonymous. I'm just looking for someone to side with me. Right. My girlfriend keeps purchasing cooked chicken in a bag as an on-the-go snack. It ranges from thighs, wings, to even a full rotisserie chicken.

Perfect. Don't get me wrong. I don't mind a whole cooked chicken if I'm buying it to take home for tea, but she will literally sit in public and eat it. She eats it waiting for the bus. Fucking desperate Dan. On her lunch breaks, at work, on the bus, and even in the cinema.

On the bus. On the bus. In the cinema. Block catapults. I hate it. Yeah. I've told her how much I don't like it, and her response was,

I'm not harming anyone, man. Leave us alone. No, you are. You are, love. you sat next to me in the cinema with a full rotisserie chicken i would fucking cause all kinds of exactly but she is upsetting people um it stinks and the man in the bus station said once said god it stinks of soup in here no hang on this is the more i tell her i don't like it the more she puts her foot down and buys it stinks of soup in here no hang on the more I tell her I don't like it

the more she puts her foot down and buys it and sends me photos of herself eating on a wall in her lunch break at work you I fear it's giving me the ick and she's never going to stop

she's just going to keep eating bagged wet stinking chicken on the go am I wrong for hating this so much bagged wet stinking chicken on the go. Am I wrong for hating this so much? Bagged, wet, stinking chicken on the go. P.S. Love the podcast and if she gets in touch,

please just report it as spam. So, yeah, that, right, that is one of the weirdest snacks in public I think I've ever heard of. Right. I love chicken wings,

chicken thighs. I love chicken, right? On the bone. Fully, like, literally the underside of the chicken, right? On the bone. Fully, like literally the underside of the chicken. Disgusting. Dead man's skin, my favourite bit.

Coming round for dinner, I'll have the leg, right? Yeah. Love it. I don't think I could eat it in a bus stop. Nah. How do you wash your hands after?

It's really fucking antisocial. She probably just doesn't. It's really antisocial. Mm-hmm. It's... Can you imagine rocking up to the cinema to watch the next

Marvel instalment? Can you remember where you went to go and see Endgame? It's fucking rammed in the cinema. People are crying in there. Can you imagine

there's a tender part of the movie and next is... What was it? Oh, sorry, I just dropped a bone on your knee. What was it, Chris?

What was it on the podcast that someone was eating in the cinema? Was it Four Oars and Fish Fingers? That was a guy... Yeah, we've spoke about him before. Was it a Chinese? I can't remember. your knee what was it on the podcast or someone was eating in the cinema was it four dozen fish fingers that was a guy yeah we've spoke about him was it a chinese i can't remember there's both we've spoken about both of them things but i will tell you right now a chinese beaten in the cinema i do believe a full rotisserie chicken being eaten in the cinema by someone by hand is one i can't think of anything worse for someone to eat what about some? Some kind of fish broth. Ribs? Ribs are bad, yeah.

Something on the bone. Fine. Oh, a full rotisserie. Can you, I can't get my head around how apoplectic with rage I would be if someone sat next to me in the cinema and whipped out a full rotisserie chicken. Yeah, rank.

And it would be that, like chicken's a lush smell, but it would be secondhand chicken that you're never going to eat. So you'd be like, oh no. There's something about a rotisserie chicken, lovely when it's first cooked, but once you bag that up,

when you open that bag, it smells like farts. That initial blast is farts. It's like opening a pack of ham. A little bit. That initial sort of stale, oh, you, honestly,

dirty, dirty mare is what I would call this person. Stop doing it. Minging that like, minging. Minging. Bus stop. Oh, there's the local creep who eats chicken on the bone

in the bus stop. There she is. People, kids, you know when you were younger and there was like, you go, oh, that guy who does that. She will be. The chicken lady.

The local children will have tales of this woman. The local children will be like, I went past the bus, she was there. Did you see her? Aye, she was there. Hang on see her? Aye, she was there. Hang on a minute.

She's got a shiny chin. Grease. Shiny fingers and chin. What about if someone's having a KFC on the bus? Awful. The same?

Yeah, but it's in a box and it's got the chips and it's, this is a full chicken. Yeah. Come on. Has she got a fork

or has she just ripped it apart with her hands? I think she's just used her hands. Fucking Dothraki fucking warlord. Horrendous.

I've got another ick here but it's more like a beef. Okay. People are saying it's icks but they're not. They're beefs. Okay. They're totally not.

They're not like, oh, makes it, they're beefs. They beat their annoyances so here's one. Hi Rosie and Chris. To cool down veg for the baby,

we run it under the cool tap. I then leave it to drain in the colander as I think any normal person would. Yeah. My husband, on the other hand, will pick up each piece of broccoli and suck the water off it. Oh, you dirty sod.

Honestly, it makes me die a little inside. What the hell? Just give the colander a shake, you pervert. What are you doing? Sucking secondhand cold broccoli water? What the hell? Bo give the colander a shake, you pervert. What are you doing? Sucking secondhand cold broccoli water? What the hell? Boiling hot broccoli water. No, because they've put the cold on it.

They've put the cold water on it to cool the broccoli down. So there's just cold sort of warm water on the broccoli. Oh, right. Okay, sorry. I thought he was sucking off the boiling hot water. So he's sucking off the water. Just shake the colander, you pervert. Pack it in.

Oh, yeah. Now I can imagine. And if something would be hot, he'd be like, Oh you pervert. Pack it in. Oh, yeah, now I can imagine and if something were hot, they'd be like, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

hi there Rosie and Chris. long time listener first time emailer. Please keep me anonymous. Always. Late one night last week, I found myself sat in my local Wetherspoons with a random bunch of people. In brackets, not random as people I know, but maybe wouldn't have thought I would sit and have a pint with.

Okay. Hey, look, a night out's a night out. You enjoy it. True. As the night went on, one of them explained that they worked in a high security prison. Oh.

I'd love a night out with someone who works there the questions oh my mom sometimes used to work in them yeah she's got good stories yeah i don't want to talk to your mom oh great their role includes opening post listening to phone and video calls which is mainly all phone sex talking to the inmates and much more. Oh, never thought of that. Yeah. Just listening in on the phone sex. Mm-hmm. Oh, that's fucking awful. Mm-hmm.

I'd hate that job. I, if you got yourself in prison, right, if you did something and you got put in prison and we stayed together,

do you honestly think I'd be having phone sex with you? I'd be livid. I'd be like, you fucking dick leaving me here with these kids.

Yeah. And you'd be like, oh, what you got on? I'd be like, it's got, leaving me here with these kids. Yeah. And you'd be like, oh, what you got on? I'd be like, it's got nothing to do with you, mate. I've got Spanx on the wrong way, there's a bit of metal sticking in my arse, what else do you want to know?

How can they not be, are they not mad at them? I'd be raging. Maybe, they maybe get over it. They may be a bit understanding, eh? Not making it all about them.

They proceeded to tell us about what things people send and say to their loved ones. Right. They explained that loved ones are allowed to send nudes to inmates, but pictures of your tits must not include your nipples, and pictures of your downstairs region must not have anything inserted. Gee, what a rule.

So you can have tit pictures, no nibbles. Right. And you can have fanny or butt pictures, but nothing inside of them. But so someone's quite happy to take these, knowing that it's going to be vetted and looked at. So they know, and they've been told the rules. Yeah. Wow.

Crazy, isn't it? Wow. They then went on to explain that an inmate had got quite irate with them last week as their partner had sent them a picture of a hamster poking out of their arsehole and they couldn't understand why they weren't allowed to receive their mail. First of all,

stop putting hamsters up your arse, everyone. I can't believe we're still having to have this conversation in the year 2023. Stop putting live animals up your arse. It's not fun. That, oh my God. I'm not being funny, but why couldn't I? Why?

I was, Dave got his picture and I couldn't get my picture. What the fuck? It's not fair. This is absolutely, I'm raging this. Like, it's my hamster. I love the idea that he's asked her. This might not, this might be a man, but don't actually know him. Well, he's asked his partner for a sexy photo,

and if the hamster's okay, and they've killed two birds with one stone. Hi, Chris and Rosie. Just a quick one from me. Please keep me anonymous if you can. Small world, isn't it? It really is. We can.

What do you mean, if you can? Rosie, I'm just going to have to say this person's name. Oh, God. No, you're 100% fine and safe with us I don't know about you two but I love using a loofah do you know what it is though yeah it's like a big sponge isn't it I don't think they mean the loofah that we're talking about

I think they mean the man made ones that you know you can get from Ikea you've got the three colours like a shower puff I think that's what they're talking about but they've said loofah excuse me hands i don't know what this is um they use the one which is basically almost a collection of rags tied up yes right okay i think

that's what they're talking about okay i do so i don't know about you two but i love using a loofah the ones that are the bits of right i think it's the best way to get fully clean in the shower the amount of bubbles it creates promotes the most efficient cleanse of the body i think chris will get it uh yeah you haven't used one for a long time you use one for a long i did but then one time i remember i remember once i was like what are these made of what is this and if you saw if you pull it and you get down to where the little rope is that's tiny the discolors in the middle and i just imagine if you took it to a lab and and put it under a dark light it would just basically all the dead skin and dirt off your body

you're putting onto this thing and then you're rubbing it all back over yourself the next day. You dirty horrible rotten scoundrel. Enjoy your bubbles. Enjoy your fucking bubbles.

Gosh he's ruined it for everyone hasn't he? My husband doesn't use a loofer. Instead he will stand in the shower pour the shower gel directly onto his body shivering as it's cold

on his body. Pussy. Gravity will take over, of course, and it will naturally run down to his pubes. It's at this point he will begin to vigorously, violently almost, rub his pubes in a circular motion until the shower gel creates enough bubbles

that he will then use to wash his body. He will always use the leftover bubbles to clean his arse crack last. Right. Why? Why do you know these step-by-step, movement-by-movement, minute-by-minute, play-by-play of how your husband uses his pubes as a fucking mixing palette for shower gel? Why? it's like

standing there standing there with a clipboard just like okay and a stopwatch okay go on you show us how you do it

as if you don't want to use a fucking loofah I do a very similar thing but I use my chest and stomach and I've taught Robin to do the same so because Robin

was putting when he was having a shower he's a big boy now he has showers and I was putting the shower gel and he was putting it in his hand a shower he's a big boy now he has showers and I was putting the shower gel and he was putting it in his hand

and then he's just like rubbing it on himself watching a kid wash themselves all he's doing is just rubbing rubbing sort of

neat shower gel all over him non mixed non bubbled non sort of but you've got to let them do it themselves well I said

oh look this is what you do and it's a piece of what you do everyone right welcome to me TED talk 101 on how to shower yourself properly get your hand squeeze the shower gel into your hand rub it a bit in your hands but then don't we all know how to do this no you don't you've got to have your life changed don't rub it too much in your hands because it

will come out because there's a bit more of it than if you're just washing your hands you know i'm saying chest and stomach use that as your mixing palette rub rub rub I've got two tits well get it under them bad lads as well right chest and stomach just use your stomach right

just use your stomach rub it in rub it in no no you've got the surface area right rub it in don't you D

sorry rub it in so you've got all of the bubbles on your stomach and then go down one leg and then back up and back to the bubbles and there they are

and then down the next and back and you're spreading it bit by bit and then up and then armpits and then round and then bum bum and back to the bubbles and there they are and then down the next and back and you're spreading it bit by bit and then up and then armpits and then round and then bum

bum and tiddler and all that I see what you're doing what he's doing is he's basically bubbling it all into his pubes and he's rubbing

I thought you meant rubbing then no no no this guy is rubbing basically um handfuls of bubbled pubes

all over his body dirty pubes here he's using a loofah but it's made of his own pubes all it says to me's a cent he is using a loofah but it's made of his own pubes all it says to me is pubeloofer pubeloofer how many pubes has he got yeah he must be a hairy dude must be hairy hairy hairy to do that but just the for me the first bit the first image i'm getting is him just like this in the shower up with the bottle and just squeezing the shower gel onto his chest and stomach and it's just running down

like spunk in a porn video and he's like oh the bit I enjoyed about it best was just the vigorous almost violent

how much he's getting listen listen everyone don't rub it all in your pubes and use it use your stomach

use your stomach and chest as a mixing tray and then mix it around your body and wash do pubes and arse crack last because they're the dirtiest bits we will take that on board thank you chris

well done on your ted talk if you really want to do it properly after you've done pubes and arse crack last get a little bit more and just wash your hands wash your hands again after yeah yeah okay yeah you go yeah happy showering guys hello chris and rosie me and my boyfriend live in a small town called Bridlington on the east coast of Yorkshire. Yeah, done gigs there. Bridlington Spa. Very nice venue. Yeah, nice. As many people do, we have a favourite Chinese takeaway. We've been going there for years so the staff knows quite well. Got you.

Back in 2019, one evening we thought we would place an order to collect all was going smoothly we went in to go pay and as i was handing over the money the cashier said to me with a giant smile on her face baby was pointing to my stomach wow me being me just totally ignored her and handed the money over fast forward six months we went in again. The cashier then asked, how's baby? I was shocked to say the least and just didn't know what to say. My boyfriend, however, jumped in on the conversation and said, she's doing great. Two years later, we now have an imaginary baby girl that the Chinese takeaway staff believe to be real. The lie has gone on too long now for us to correct them. That's great.

Please keep me anonymous. If my family found out about this, they will want to meet the baby too. They're going to have to Google image like a toddler. That's great. Yeah. Wow. Well, it got me thinking about our local Chinese where the guy thinks I've got a completely different name to what I do. Yeah, what, oh, that's great. Yeah. Wow. Well, it got me thinking about our local Chinese.

Yeah. Where the guy thinks I've got a completely different name to what I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What is that again? Rhodey. Rhodey,

yeah, yeah. Just every time, Rhodey. And then I go in, I'm like, one time, one time you called us Rhodey and I've never corrected you.

And now when I ring and order it, I tell you my name's Rhodey. And I'm really embarrassed. So you say Rhodey? I i tell him roadie because he knows me face right and when i if i go in if i just start going rosie he go oh i thought you were roadie this sound sorry this is really in danger of sounding like we're taking the mic off an accent but he's got a north he's from shields he's got a North, he's from Shields. He's from. He's got a Shields accent. But why did Brodie come? I don't know.

He's called us Brodie. And then we used to go there loads, but not so much now. Yeah. But then every time I go, he calls us Brodie. And I can't, I can't do anything about it. And I don't think he thinks me and you know each other. Because every time, you had to ring his daughter last time you went in.

I had to phone his daughter, yeah. Because when you were on Strictly and you used to have it on on a Saturday night, remember? Yeah, so that was, I think I said it before, he hung up, the phone was ringing off the hook and he hung up and then he made his phone his daughter and talked to his daughter at home for like five minutes. You had to phone someone,

you had to speak to someone weirdly the other day, didn't you? Oh my gosh. It was in Phoenix and I was chatting to an area manager, lovely lady, of one of the concessions. Yeah, yeah. And she'd been to see the show live. She loves the podcast.

Her and her partner love the podcast. Big shout out. She rang her girlfriend whilst I was chatting to her. Her girlfriend was on the loo. Brilliant. Had a full chat with her girlfriend whilst she was on the toileto. Brilliant. Had a full chat with our girlfriend while she was on the toilet

in the middle of Phoenix. And I just thought this is a really weird life that I've got. I don't know what to do about it. Could have been worse. Could have been FaceTime. It was FaceTime.

Shut the fuck up. She was on the toilet FaceTiming you. Yes. I thought you just said she was on the toilet. No, it was on FaceTime. She FaceTimed her and she was on the toilet.etiming you yes i thought you just said she was on the toilet no it was on facetime she facetimed her and she was on the toilet wow wow that's that's why it was worse if it was just

on the toilet i thought she'd rang her and said it doesn't matter that you're on the loo yeah speak to her but she actually facetimed her and you sat and facetimed a fan on the toilet that is honestly that that's why people like you better than they like me because that is a service I would not provide. She's dead, can't he? Wow. And that's it. Thank you so, so much for listening to Shagmardinoid, which is part of the ACAST Creator Network.

It is indeed. We'll be back. We're at half here. We'll be back fully here next week. No idea. Hope you enjoyed it. Hope it wasn't too funny. Maybe it wasn't. Remember that.

Okay then. Bye. Bye. You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director

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