Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 26. Out of Office #2

Episode Date: August 9, 2019

This week the Ramsey's are on their holidays so here are some bonus questions from the public! They include hotel etiquette, same dress dramas and some financial advice. Enjoy! Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. No, no, don't. The first omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil. Movie of the year. It's not real.

It's not real. It's not real. Who said that? The first omen. In theaters Friday. Get tickets now. All right, Robin, come here. All right, mommy's upstairs in the shower, right?

So whilst she's upstairs in the shower, I want you to quickly say, this week's podcast... This week's podcast... Is sponsored by... Sponsored by... My Daddy's 2020 Tour. My Daddy's 2020 Tour. On's 2020 tour on sale now on sale now tickets at chrisramseycomedy.com

tickets at chrisramseycomedy.com chrisramseycomemy dot com slash gigs slash gigs good lad high five hello you're listening to shagged married

annoyed with me Rosie Ramsey and my husband Christopher Ramsey we are currently on holiday holidays

but we love you so much and we love doing this podcast that we thought you know what let's do it again out of office reply

number two number two we're actually not on holiday though as this comes out as this comes out we're not on holiday we're here when the last one came out

we were on holiday but at the time of trying to record this one we're at home right okay so this is an out of office reply this is a collection of loads of different stuff that people have asked us, but

we are, it might seem weird that we're in the country. You're making it more complicated than it is. No, but what it is is I don't want people to go, why is it why are you not doing, well not that they'll be bothered, but like, why are you here but it's not here, but it's because at the time of recording it's got to be done a few days beforehand. Right. Okay, basically we've had a lovely holiday

we might not have survived, we could have died on the plane. Rosie, I got burnt. Oh,. Right. Okay, basically, we've had a lovely holiday. We might not have survived. We could have died on the plane. Rosie, I got burnt. Oh, who knows? Oh, I got burnt so badly. I've got anxiety thinking about this now. Yeah? Why?

Well, we might die. Why? Oh, well, don't say that. You never know. We're flying out on separate flights anyway. That's what we had, innit? Great. Yeah.

Flying out on separate flights. I hope yours goes down and not mine. I'm with the Bain. This is episode 26. It's just got really grim. Things have got upsetting. Hope you enjoy. That's going to be my main holiday though, you know.

The main bit of my holiday is going to be that flight on my own without a toddler. And then when I get there, the work will start. I hope you have a lovely time. That's what I want. I think it's free drink. I mean, I'm being massively will start. I hope you have a lovely time. That's what I want. I think it's free drink. I mean, I'm being massively sarcastic. I hope it's horrible. I hope you get leg cramps.

I hope someone spills the food on you. And I hope you've got a crying baby next to you. Do you mean hot food? Either. Right, I'm taking this bit. Egg mayonnaise. Egg mayonnaise for a flight. Do you know Carl Hutchinson once spilled a brand,

like literally not being drunk yet. When we're on tour, he spilled a full large latte on our tour manager in the airport. That's awful. In the, just before the flight, they sat down at the table and Carl hit the table and a full latte went all over Rhys' jeans and Rhys just stood up and Carl just pissed himself laughing. What time of year was it? It was summer.

Oh no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like a spring tour. Yeah, late spring tour. That's going to be really smelly. Rhys just pissed himself laughing. What time of year was it? It was summer. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like a spring tour. Yeah, a late spring tour. It's going to be really smelly. Rhys just had a run. He threw his jeans in the bin and then the toilet's changed into some new jeans.

Glad it all got sorted in the end. He did that in the other... Sorry, he did that the other way around. He didn't run to a bin, take his jeans off, throw them, and then run in his underpants to a toilet to change.

He changed first. Just so you all know. I wasn't listening. Good. Enjoy. Enjoy guys! We had a fight about the jingle jingle We couldn't settle on a jingle jingle

So this is the jingle jingle We hope you like the jingle jingle Jingle!adoo babadoo babadoo Jingle It's time for Questions from the public

Public Dear Chris and Rosie Big fan of the podcast, keep it up We bloody will Even when my son's ill upstairs I'll still be slaving away Truth, truth I have a question

Recently in work We were talking About what grooming We all undertake To get ready for summer They live in a seaside town Jesus What seaside town?

Where What seaside town You're living in Where you're all getting ready Grooming for summer Jesus yeah We live in a seaside town It's

Called us out Yeah exactly God they're really grooming hard I'll bloody Trim my nose hair maybe This is Talk They must live in a seaside town. It's cold as out. Yeah, exactly. God, they're really grooming hard. I'll bloody trim my nose hair, maybe. This is... They must live in like Torquay or something where it's hot. Even where it's hot. Even then, though.

Unless you live in... They've got palm trees there. Well, all right, yeah. Good. Giant pineapples. Yeah. Okay, so these weirdos with four fingers living in seaside towns that are really hot. But yeah, sorry, the way they're saying it, we were all talking about it.

Was it Dawson's Creek? Was it the OC? We were all talking about how we're going to get ready for the summer. And it's going to be our last summer together before we all go off to college. So we wanted all our pubes to be nice and short. Let's all get grooming this weekend. Don't forget to get your groom on. Who sits around at work talking about,

what the fuck's wrong with everybody? Hey, I'm glad I haven't got a normal job. You're all lunatics. Right. My coworkers were horrified to hear that I veet my boyfriend's back for him. Great. Veet, for anyone who doesn't know what veet is is um a hair removal company yeah dream opened a sponsorship i find a hairy man sexy but i draw the line at hairy backs yeah hairist fair enough yeah so you

know i mean god i don't know so you don't find a hairy man attractive. Take the puff of the smooth. That's another one. That's good. As is the theme with this podcast, I took a poll. Of course you did. Turns out 70... She's even turned it into a percentage.

Wonderful. Turns out 70% of people wouldn't beat their partner's backs. I want to know. I'm guessing this is for me. Do you find hairy men sexy? Where do you stand on helping your partner with their grooming habits? Grooming.

Much love, Anonymous from Turkey. Do I find hairy men sexy? Yes. I'm not really that bothered. I'm just trying to think if I've ever been with a hairy man let me go back in the back catalogue

oh this is fun to watch this is really this is great make you think of all my past encounters could be a while guys you are really pissed

can't remember don't think you took your top off hang on what was his name no idea no I don't actually decided no Christ alive I don't actually decided no

Christ alive I'm glad because I'm the least hairy man in the world I know and that's why I'm married to him I'm smooth I'm like a seal

you are really smooth I am you've got lovely hairy legs though I'm like a dolphin yeah yeah you are with hairy legs I just imagined a dolphin

with human hairy legs and I got all sad they haven't got legs yeah I know but I know I'd had them yeah they were just superimposed um i weirdly right i feel really sorry for blokes who've got hairy backs um because it's really horrible like you know no one likes it 70 of people there um i a mate of mine when i remember when went on my stag do uh he'd shaved

his back and i didn't realize he'd shaved it right and I didn't realise until we were around the pool and I put my arm around him for a photo and it was like cuddling a cactus it was unbelievable

I was like oh my god he was like oh he shaved me back the other day and I'd grown back through I was like oh you poor bugger

see my thing is if you love someone it doesn't matter it's just a bit of hair I actually don't think it would really bother me to be honest she might like veeting it to be fair yeah love a bit of veet it's just you know it's just hair at the end of the day it doesn't matter i've veeted my toes before i've got hairy toes you've

got really hairy toes that's all i've got i love them oh that's weird um yeah um where do you stand on helping your partner with their grooming habits you tan my back i do tan your back yeah i quite enjoy it i put it even spread on you do a little bit rough a little bit rough i giggled a little bit rough but i put it i just think jesus i just thought there about the idea of tanning me mates back who i've just mentioned there he would rip the bloody mitt to shreds oh stop it oh no i feel really bad for hairy men now people have to get rid of it yeah I find it's all really

one of my mates when I was younger we went on a lads holiday and I remember at school we had PE once and he had his shorts on and I've never

seen hairy legs like it in real life the thickest most ridiculous hairy legs you've ever seen in your life

and he was a white lad right but his legs were black with hair like completely and he on holiday I saw

he had his trunks on the pool and I was like oh and I looked at his legs and I was like bloody hell and it just looked like normal

and I was like what did he do he was like oh I gave them a number two so he didn't completely give them he just gave them

like a trim and they looked amazing class hi Rosie and Chris He just gave them like a trim. And they looked amazing. Class. Hi, Rosie and Chris. Hello. Years ago, I used to get a lift to work with my best friend's dad and he picked me up from outside a well-known high street bank. Okay.

As a youngster, I used to go out most nights and one particular morning as I was waiting for him, my throat was so dry from dehydration slash hungover. Oh. so no one would know. As I stood up, I realised to my horror there was a camera pointing straight at me. Of course, it's a bank. From this day onwards, I had to get the bus. My best friend's dad thought it was because he listened to Terry Wogan and I didn't like it.

I have never been able to relay this story to anyone without tears streaming down my face in laughter. Oh, that's brilliant. What story do you have that makes you cry at your own stupidity? Love the show, Sarah. Oh, my God, that's amazing. I mean, what you're doing taking a sip and putting it back, take the whole bottle.

Someone will nip out at lunchtime. Well, I've got three issues with this. Go. Right. First issue. Who says yes to getting a lift to work off the best friend's dad? Bit weird, to be honest. Like, I don't know.

Bit weird. Yeah. Unless the best friend was in the car as well. Well, she hasn't said that. Yeah. It seems innocent. No, I don't think there's anything dodgy in it. I would just find it a bit weird.

I'll be honest with you, when the email started, I thought it was going down a different route. I thought this was going to be dark. No, it's not. I promise you. But I just find that a bit weird. Second thing, the last thing I would want is a drink of milk. A hundred percent.

Yeah, I totally agree. Do you know what I mean? Hung over and dry mouth. Oh, I'll have a lovely bit of milk off this doorstep. Aye, warm and lukewarm. Oh, God. bit of milk off this doorstep at your temperature lukewarm

oh god and thirdly like don't put it back you said don't put it back yeah that's disgusting just neck the whole thing or steal it

you should have looked we should have owned it you should have looked up at that camera picked up the milk done like a cheers to the camera and then walked off left 50 pence yeah

yeah put a quid down on the floor yeah you know what I mean yeah send them a letter. Yeah. Write them a text. Yeah. Email, phone call,

something like that. I think a story that makes me cry at my own stupidity was when I smashed my tooth for the first time. Brilliant. Do you remember? Well, obviously you didn't know us then.

I didn't know. But I was very drunk walking down a bank to the chip shop and I fell over onto my knees. Yeah. Didn't put my hands out.

Oh. And I put my tooth out. Oh, God. Smashed my front tooth. Right through me, that like. What a moron. And literally,

my hands went behind my back like, and it went. Like a swan dive. Donk. Oh. Can I do a donk? Ready?

That's how I hit my tooth. That actually sounded quite anomaly, that. I didn't know that at all. And then cracked my tooth. And the most shocking thing is that about four years later, I did it again. Brilliant. Did the same thing again.

Drunk again? Drunk. Awesome. At a cash point. Angela, my friend, was getting money out. I was stood behind her. I went over on my ankle. She said one minute I was stood there. Then she turned around and I was on the floor and I was stood behind her. I went over on my ankle. She said one minute I was stood there

and then she turned around and I was just on the floor and I'd cracked my tooth again. Jesus. Why have you got so much faith in this tooth to stop breaking falls? I don't know. I really don't know. How's wrong with you? Like Dennis the Menace's dog. Gash it, gash it, gash it. It's the one frigging tooth at the front.

Can you believe that it happened twice to the same tooth? Haven't met you. Yes. I'm surprised you've got all your teeth. But I didn't, do you know I didn't

burst my lip or nothing? No. It just, it didn't, I must have just went, cheese! Goofy like, horrible.

Hear that story? Oh God. It does make me laugh though. Got one here. Hi Chris and Rosie. A very God. It does make me laugh, though. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Got one here. Hi, Chris and Rosie. A very simple question. That's what we're like.

Which way do your clothes face in the wardrobe? Do they all have to face the same way, or does it not matter to you? My husband has all of his clothes facing right, which I think is weird. Or mine face left, which I think is the correct way. right which i think is weird or mine face left which i think is the correct way what kind of people do we attract to this podcast can i just say these are my favorite kind of questions i love that i would i'd have these kind of questions over you know anything political or any kind of big issues any day of the week i

love stuff like that's from kirsty re Reid. Thank you so much, Kirsty. Kirsty Reid, I have never thought about this until this moment and my mind has just opened up and I'm picturing my wardrobe in my head

and all my Which way do yours face? left. So you do actually have a way to face them? Aye, and I didn't realise until now. So do I.

Yeah. So do I. All mine face left. Mine face left. Yeah. How funny yeah how funny i've read that and thought what no your clothes don't face a certain way they do so all you gotta do is picture your picture jackets picture a jacket or a cardigan the opening is always facing the left left same left high five lefties what does that mean i don't know there might be a psychological reason for that i really don't know is it not to do with hangers well the hanger is no i mean obviously i

put the hanger so that it hooks over as you put in i don't know who's putting it the other way so that it hooks sort of so the hook yeah no you can't do that t-shirts and stuff i mean i sometimes put them in inside out on the hanger but they're still facing left and that weird I'll put a t-shirt inside out on a hanger if I've got the washing I've got a pile of washing yeah

well half a pile if you've done it and I'll be putting says the man who doesn't unfold his clothes before he hangs them in really?

really? got a light to stand on? don't think so and I'll hook it on and I'll yeah so the label will be facing right because it'll be on

the back of the shirt but the front the inside of the shirt will be facing left oh man'll be on the back of the shirt, but the front of the inside of the shirt will be facing left. Oh, man. I'm really, really glad that that's not some really nuts question. Because honestly, when I heard that, I was like, this is insane. But it's true.

It's true. Well done, Kirsty. Thank you so much. And your husband's a weirdo. Yay! I just want to just quickly, quickly say a massive thank you to everybody who emails in and sends questions. I promise that we'll read them, mostly me.

I do read them. I don't reply to them all. I'm so sorry. But thank you so, so much for keep sending them because it's great and we'll love it. And I'm going to get a bit gushy, but I just love that we get lovely messages and stuff. And weird ones.

They're the best. The weird ones are the best. But thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Hi, Rosie and Chris. I've not been having a debate in the office. Good for you.

But I have been quietly observing people for some years. Years? Years. And I've decided the toast test is the ultimate way to catch a psychopath wow okay okay do you and chris a slice your toast slash sandwich into triangle triangles right diagonal okay imagine triangles a diagonal from top corner top corner bottom corner corner. From top corner to bottom corner. Yeah. B, slice your toast slash sandwich into rectangles horizontally halfway down the slice to create a top and a bottom. Yeah.

So that's... I had a sandwich earlier and I did that. Or do it, yeah, in the middle. Okay. Yeah? Yeah. Okay. Or C, slice your toast sandwich into rectangles vertically.

That's's no. And they've put maniac. I myself slice into triangles as it makes me feel posh. I do the same. Yeah. Like diagonally. Well, do you know what I love to do? I love to slice diagonal from top left corner to the bottom.

Yeah. Not into fours, just into twos, right? Yeah. And then I open it like a book. Oh, nice. And then I put a little pile of crisps inside like you had a cafe like i'm like i'm working in a gastropub and i'm about to give them one and i go here's your um tuna on a white bloomer yeah with them you know with a portion of kettle chips yeah with a portion of chili chili crisps oh that's what the sensations yeah there we go i don't i don't tell them crisps if i work in my gastropub, I don't

tell them the brand of the crisp because I could just buy some. I just go, chilli crisps. They'd usually be that though, wouldn't

they? Yeah, but you don't tell them. Okay. Sorry. A bit of coleslaw. Oh, I don't know.

And three salad leaves. Yeah. Who's slicing top to bottom? Well, she's put, yeah, I myself slice into triangles

as it makes me feel posh. Anyone who does see is an absolute maniac and we cannot be friends. That's from Lauren Cooper. Lauren, I agree. Yeah, that's top to bottom. So hold on,

is there another way to do it? Corner to corner, cross the middle, top to bottom, is there another way? There's no other way. I wonder whether someone does it like three quarters.

And just has a little crust bit. Just has a little crust bit with the end and then has a massive full sandwich. I would do that if I had a certain size lunchbox and I had to drop it in

and I had to cut a bit off. Maybe, yeah. Or cut the crusts off. Yeah. I used to cut the crusts off. Why am I surprised? That does not surprise me at all. Sorry,

correction. Me mum used to cut them off for us. definitely, definitely, definitely. No, I love a crust, mate.

I've come to love crusts. Yeah. My mum would never have cut our crusts off. Just wouldn't happen. Ah, hold on. No, bollocks.

You maybe, but you used to sieve spaghetti bolognese for your brother oh yeah oh kevin yeah the mistake my mom used to sieve my spaghetti bolognese as well kev so i'm right there with you yeah i don't know if it's a boy thing or whether he was the youngest or what he got away with murder mums and their boys man should never have done that for us

I seen her peel an apple for Robin and I was like you lucky little bastard peeling an apple yeah we know it was like the skin's the best bit

looked like yeah I caught him once eating a peeled apple I thought he was eating a fucking raw potato well weird I know see

grandparents soft as shit dicks Rock City you're the best fans in the league bar none tickets are on sale now for fan appreciation night on Saturday April 13th when the Toronto Rock host

the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm you can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com. This Friday.

You must be very careful, Margaret. It's a girl. Witness the birth. Bad things will start to happen. Evil things. Of evil. It's all. No, no, don't.

The First Omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil. Movie of the year. It's not real.

It's not real. It's not real. Who said that? The First Omen. In theaters Friday. Get tickets now. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH,

the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Okay, this is really interesting. Okay. Right. Just to clarify, I've started doing all the questions because Chris,

you can't be arsed. Top comedy podcast and Chris can't be arsed. I'm holding the fort. You are better at them. You are much better at the questions than me. I kept doing them,

you're cool. And we've had one like that and I was going, oh, sorry. That is true, actually. And I genuinely do love reading them all. But this one is great. You're going to love this.

Okay. Dear Rosie and Chris, I'm in a bit of a dilemma and looking for some advice here to help I've recently obtained a promotion at work which has given me a 20% pay rise I haven't told my wife about this yet and I don't know whether I should or not. What? Yep. The last time I got a rise like this, my wife took the liberty of going part-time. Just because we could afford to, meaning that I was working harder without actually seeing any benefit.

He's really buzzed off. I've mentioned this to my colleagues at work and they cannot believe that I'm even contemplating it. Wow. FYI, all of our wages go into a shared account. After all the bills are paid, the leftovers are split between each of us to do what we want with. She has nothing to do with financials in the house

and would never know if I gave myself the extra money I'm earning. I wasn't planning on keeping it from her forever, just once I've had a bit of fun for myself, maybe a year or so. What would you do? Shh, you have to keep me anonymous for obvious reasons. Can I just say I already... Regards, cut back.

Can I just say I'm already feeling the pressure of having this secret burden on me. Like, I already feel a bit ill that I know this secret now. That, why did you get married? Don't get married. If you don't want to share everything, and you feel like some sort of burden that you... No, that's the wrong word.

You're a dick. I think this person is a dick. Well, I've never understood people who've got this mother-fucking-son relationship in marriages. Okay. That sounds to me like their sort of dynamic is her going you spent all your pot of money on that like it sounds really weird dynamic like you would never do

that to me like all right if i came in with three fucking magic beans and told you there were five grand you'd be like why have you spent five grand on three magic beans what the hell's wrong with you you've lost you've lost all sense of reality kind of thing yeah like you know i'm just picking random numbers out the air there but to just to be like to be at the situation where you've lost all sense of reality kind of thing. Yeah, yeah. Like, you know, I'm just picking random numbers out of the air there. Uh-huh. But to just, to be like, to be at the situation where you've got to hide something from them. That's what I'm, this is what I mean. Financial-wise. But why get married?

Why get married? Yeah. Don't get married. Like, literally, he's got a 20% pay rise. He clearly works very hard. Good on him. Congrats. You know, he should be able to spend his money on what he wants.

Yeah. Don't get married because when you get married you are marrying in it's not just a day a nice day it's everything that goes with it yeah you share everything you should be happy for each other and it should work and i just find that i don't know i just find that really really sad however is communication not just the problem here is she not is that if you think of it from his point of view

right just plain devil's avocado here if he gets the 20% pay rise and he's got more money then he turns to her and goes

hey look 20% pay rise and she goes oh cool that means I can have days off now is it not a bit shitty of her to do that yeah

totally but to be fair mate who text this in or emailed this in you need to talk about it that's what I'm saying you need to go

look here I've got this 20% extra by the way if you turn around now and say you want to just have days off instead I'm really fucked off that's not going to work

because I think that's harsh yeah I agree I totally agree and I would be a little bit pissed off if I just got an amazing job

and you were like I'm going to do nothing I'm just going to sit on my arse all day I'd be a little bit pissed off if I just got an amazing job and you were like, I'm going to do nothing. I'm just going to sit on my arse all day. I'd be like, well, that's not on. Rosie, what do you think I'm building up to? Podcast? You've got your Instagram.

What do you think I'm building up to? Soon people on Twitter are going to be going, you're not tuned anymore. I'm a bollocks. I know. Well, you know, well, see, look, I quit my job when we had Robin and it was the worst thing I ever did. And I felt, I felt lost and like full-time motherhood was just not for robin and it was the worst thing i ever did yeah and i felt i felt lost and

like full-time motherhood was just not for me and it was lovely i'm really grateful that i got to do it but personally it was hell on earth like in in my brain yeah if that makes sense for me mental health but i oh i don't know looking back on it on this email sorry yeah maybe maybe you're completely right and it is just a total lack of communication I think that's exactly what it is maybe she maybe

right okay I don't know if it's a straight oh it is a wife isn't it yeah sorry maybe she does just spend all of the money do you know what I mean yeah

listen we're talking about this I know I was very harsh at first but maybe she is just really doesn't give a shit and just goes mental. So do you want to apologise for calling him a C-U-N-T bag? I'm sorry. Yeah? I know I'm so sorry for anyone who was offended by that.

Let's read his email out for a laugh. Come on. Let's read his email address out. Come on. I'm joking. You considered it. I saw your face. I'm not.

Yeah, I think that you need to talk about that dude uh it's it's a weird one it is a weird one i feel like i've done a bit of a 180 yeah because i feel like if he's getting more money you can't that you can't just go well that means i can do shit all why don't you just uh why don't you just not tell her save up, and then in years to come go, do you know we've got 20 grand savings? And she goes, what? And then you go, oh, yeah, I got an extra thingy, but I've kept it for a pension.

That would be a good idea. That would be nice. Yeah, she can't backdate her days off unless he tells her and she just drops to the deck and lies down for a year. True. Yeah, exactly. Whatever. See, I feel like I've read that in our situation. What do you mean I've read that

as if because if it was you I'd be raging yeah because I wouldn't if I hadn't told you if you hadn't told me I'd be like

well why haven't you told us but obviously their situation's different so I feel like I've totally kind of flipped on me on me thinking

I don't know gosh this is hard are we meant to actually give advice or we just that's the thing right so they actually give advice or we just got to talk about it that's the thing right

so they ask us advice sometimes we'll come up with funny stuff and then sometimes we'll get really into it and then I think shit but what if I tell him to do this

and then he'll get an email going yeah so I had a discussion about it and she wanted to have the time off and I got them out and now we're divorced

cheers the Ramses yeah listen listen get divorced just split up keep your money separate everyone's a winner everyone's a winner i like the fact that once all the bills are paid they get half of the money each like they've had like they've done a

car boot sale and they're divvying up the money at the end it's like what you're doing like this actually though this is sometimes this is a problem in a lot of relationships where people have joint accounts, people have separate accounts and some people are better with money than others. Yeah. I know I've got a few friends whose partners are terrible with money and they're always like,

oh my God, they'll just spend loads of money and then we've got no money left at the end of the month, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. So maybe it's a bit of that as well. Yeah.

Well, exactly. That's why I've got a few like sort of accounts that you don't know about. Oh, shit. What? Did I say that out. Well, exactly. That's why I've got a few like sort of accounts that you don't know about. Oh, shit. What? Did I say that out loud? Excuse me? That's funny.

It's funny that you think that I wouldn't have that as well. Well, you know what it is. All the sponsorship money from all our lucrative sponsors, that goes into a separate account that you don't even know about. Yeah.

Zero. Yeah, but... But... It's still an account. Excited to see that. I listen to the podcast every week and I love it and I'm an avid viewer of Rosie's Instagram stories. Having a daughter the same age as Robin, the struggle is real.

Yeah. Yeah. I've stayed at a hotel while working away and wanted to get your thoughts on making the bed before you leave. Do you guys make hotel beds before you leave them? Fuck no, you're stupid. Why would I do that? Well, yeah, I kind of put it back.

I don't make it, but I kind of just put it back. Nah, absolutely not. No? Nah. What I do is, what I do try and do, every single towel I've used, I throw in the bath or the shower so that the no so the no and then so the no the ones hanging on the rail are still clean because

sometimes they'll come in and if the towels are all over they'll just get every single town and half of them you haven't used so it's just you know it's killing the environment or whatever um so i'll throw them in but yeah god the bed sheets not a chance well because yeah because they're gonna come in and just take them off yeah they're going to come in and just take them off. Yeah, they're not going to come in and go, oh, this is lovely. Hey, we'll just leave this. See, the thing is, I once watched a documentary years ago about B&Bs in a certain part of the country.

Okay. And they used to do this thing called the P&P, I think it was called. It was just like the pub and pluck. Oh, God. So they wouldn't change the sheets, the pee and pee I think it was called it was just like the pube and pluck oh god so they wouldn't change the sheets but they'd just kind of go and check out if there was any pubes

and kind of just check if anyone had shaved their arse in the bed yeah basically take the pubes out and then that was it oh god I know

I got in a bed once in a hotel and there was a sock under the sheets ooh yeah so that's blatantly they haven't

just a sock there yeah that was bad well that's blatantly they haven't... Just a sock there. Yeah. That was bad. Well, that's what you're meant to do. I heard this as well somewhere else. You're meant to leave

like a sweet under the pillow. Yeah. And if you've been out of the room and they say they've been and changed the sheets, if your sheets are there, you haven't.

Wow. Or a shit. You could do a shit under the pillow and not have to change the sheets. You want to take it to that level, you can. I suggest you don't because you probably get thrown out

do you know what that makes us think of do you know when they say um they say that if you get something from a restaurant and there's a hair in it or whatever you should um get loads of salt and just destroy your meal with salt put all the salt all over it and then give it back so you know that they're not just going to pluck the hair out and give you that plate back. Oh, okay, I didn't know that. Have you not heard of that? No.

Yeah, so that's the sea. So the sea, you're eating your whatever, burger and chips, and you think, oh, there's a hair in that. You go, oh, there's a hair on this. You have to, like, obliterate it with salt and pepper. I just thought how bad you'd look doing that, going, there's a hair on this,

but I'm just going to quickly destroy this, because I think you're just going to pull this out, you dirty bastard. Yeah but well do you know what it is though? I've heard loads of stories I've heard another do you want another story?

Absolutely. Another story I knew someone very close to me who worked in a restaurant Yeah. Somebody complained that the chicken was too oily.

Right. The chef ran the chicken under the tap No. Put it back on the plate dried it and put it back on the plate.

No. I swear back on the plate. Dried it and put it back on the plate. No. I swear to God. That's genius. I need no more. God. This chicken's soapy. Yeah. I don't think they're soaped,

but they're definitely, definitely chicken's got a Brillo pad on it. This chicken's sweating. This chicken's just swam the hundred metres. Chicken smells like chlorine. Cannot. You just baptised this chicken.

Happy Christening Day. Hi, Chris and Rosie. My fiancé says I'm an absolute pervert quality because i cut open an iced finger like the bun yeah yeah so an ice finger just for anyone who doesn't know it's like it's kind of like a brioche kind of thing it's a sweet bread from you can get them from greg's and different bagels and it's just it's like a sweet bread bun and the top of it like a hot dog bun a sweet hot dog bun and the top of it has a big layer

of pink icing on I love them you know they are nice very nice so they cut open an ice finger bun yeah

and they put butter in it he makes a point of telling everyone about this because he thinks it's sick but he's also the type of guy

who eats spaghetti bolognese with a knife and fork instead of a spoon and fork because he thinks it's sick but he's also the type of guy who eats spaghetti bolognese with a knife and fork instead of a spoon and fork so i think he's dead wrong could you clear this up please thanks kelly from belfast do you know what i read that first and i was like ah but in a nice bun oh my god But why there's icing on a bread? Right. So, I don't know. What's weirder? An ice bun's a weird one.

I agree with putting something inside that, but can I suggest jam? Cream, cream and jam. That's what loads of people place it in. Open it up and put jam in. Or, you know, put something in. What are you putting butter in for? Is it real butter?

Is it Lurpak or is it margarine? What's happening here? I hope it's real butter. I really i understand right but i don't know why it's weird because how do you make icing water and icing powder oh no but that's some of that butter icing's got butter in hasn't it so it sort of yeah this is ridiculous no but she's not though there's something really weird about it it's like i imagine how to put the butter in. No, but she's not, though. There's something really weird about it. It's like I imagine I had to put the butter in and then sit a couple of slices of ham in and have a dessert and a cereal in one bite. I would eat that.

You would, because you're disgusting. I would eat that. You'd roll my pyramid out of the jar like a fucking bear. Do you know what? I'd have sausages in it. Oh, no. I would. Oh, what have I done?

I would. Sausage, ice bun, butter, sausages, ice bun. Stop. Stop talking. I'm hungry. Stop talking. Stop looking in the kitchen and stop talking. I would sausage ice bun butter sausages ice but that I'm hungry stop talk stop looking in the kitchen and stop talking honest to god my uh god they've took this family have took a hammering in my career personally across the road um who I've I used to knock on the door I've done that in my stand-up in my recent show I've hammered them again but his sister I remember every Friday night the family used to get an Indian takeaway

and his sister used to get a plain naan bread and she used to butter it isn't that weird? she used to get she was like I remember the kind of family always shouted stuff at each other

I was like I've got your naan bread can you butter it for us? and then she'd come back and she would come out in the street with this I mean we were young so your naan bread's the you butter it for us? And then she'd come back and she would come out in the street with this. I mean, we were young, so your naan bread's the size of a bin lid.

So we were only kids at the time. I'll have been 10 or something and she's been like 12 and she had like this massive naan bread just caked in butter. And she'd just eat it buttered. It shouldn't be strange, but it is. It's really weird.

And I don't know why it's weird because it's got ghee on it anyway, which it is butter. And you buttered it. It was like a massive bit of indian toast it was so strange it was lovely and i had some of it and i remember my dad got a curry and i got some and he went mental he was like what are you doing what's wrong with you and i went okay maybe Well, just wait until you try my sausage sandwich ice bun. Well, I'll have to visit you in the asylum.

Just bring us a little George Foreman. I'll do it in my room. Got one here. Yes. Okay. Very short one. They've sent a picture in. Now, I know this is a podcast,

but you don't really need to be able to work it out too much when I tell you what this is, right? Okay. Dear Rosie and Chris, I came across this on Facebook and was totally weirded out by it, so I wanted to share it with you. Right.

I clicked on the link. Yeah. You can now get jewellery, namely rings, Right. that are made out of your dead family member's teeth. Shut up. Absolutely.

So if you want to Google this while you're listening, if you want to give it a pause, if you want to Google it, I've got the picture here that I'm just going to show Rosie. There is the picture. Oh my God. Oh my God. Can you? It literally says you can get them made out of... So if someone's died or if...

I mean, weirdly, if your tooth's just fallen out and you want to just put it on a ring, which is crazy, or, you know, your brother dies, you can have his teeth put onto your rings. These are the molars. These are chunky rings. Yeah, yeah. They've got fillings in them. The fillings in them the fillings in them

look at that one's black it's like black in the middle that looks like a bit of a cavity going on there that this that's that's one of the worst things i've ever seen in my whole entire life imagine getting in a fight with someone who's got one of them on whatever you want to you want a knuckle sandwich yeah yeah i'm gonna punch you and my brother my dead brother's going to bite you at the same time you broke my tooth me and my brother used to fight side by side

but now he just fights with us I punch you and he gets a couple of nibbles in oh god they are they are

disgusting it's amazing isn't it aren't people amazing I mean the rings are horrible to be fair I mean one of them looks like an engagement ring and then you can get one with the two little other bits on.

Oh, my God. Well, our little boy, Robin, lost his two front teeth really early, didn't he? Because he'd come off his bike. I've still got them in a little bag upstairs. I could make a little necklace. Like a little brooch. Couldn't I?

A little toddler. It'd be cuter with baby teeth, wouldn't it? No, it wouldn't. It would be really weird. baby teeth wouldn't it no it wouldn't it would be really weird a couple of earrings oh oh Rosie what are they pearls

no just my son's baby teeth that's weird though especially if you had them on a necklace because it's really like for me when I think of like

Crocodile Dundee with like a shark tooth on his you know what I mean on his necklace yeah so it would be like oh right

cute oh is that what is that is that a tooth of a shark you killed no you know what I mean on his necklace yeah so it'd be like oh right oh is that what is that is that a tooth of a shark you killed no there's toddler I killed oh my god toddler was giving us

a bit of jib I used to have like a necklace with a tooth on I wouldn't have been real I think it was fake nana's grandma's

no no I used to call it the snaggle tooth I'd be like snaggle tooth like that but to be fair right let's just let's boil this down no don't come don't come down we've been doing this for years

right no yeah well why is it less weird to have a you know a tooth of like a crocodile tooth around your neck rather than someone who you actually really loved you know what i mean you could rub it on your face you're feeling a bit lonely it's like they're kissing you it's not like you could suck on it do you know what i mean oh i remember oh i remember last meal he had on death row ribs i mean it is gross i'm just trying my main question is you know when you take them in the jeweler's do they polish them or do they floss them?

Wait, do you take them in the jeweler's or the dentist? Do you get a little drill, like, you know, when they polish it with the thing? Just knuckles. Can you do me rings? People will be buying them, though. There's some horrible people in the world. It's the worst thing.

We're going to see people with them. The worst thing for me is, there's one here with a film in it. There's a horrible people in the world. It's the worst thing. We're going to see people with them. The worst thing for me is there's one here with a filling in it. There's a silver filling, but they've got the tooth on a gold ring. Put it on a silver ring. Why have you mixed the colours up? No, but as if it wasn't tacky enough. You can't even mix it. I mean, where's the rose gold?

Hey, I'd want one of the gold ones. You know, the wrapper. Gold teeth ones. I'd have one of them. Yeah, like Marv off Home Alone. Harry off Home Alone. They are vile. Well, I mean...

And I'd like one. I was going to say, crack a bit of content, but there's your Christmas present, knackered. Whose teeth am I getting? I don't know we'll see see who's lippy see who's lippy in the next few weeks

I'll give you my own to show you how much I love you pull my teeth out pull a tooth out with a pair of pliers and put it on a ring for you well

here's a story right do you know my friend Steph do you know when when she was a student when she was absolutely skinned on the bones of her arse

she'd go to the dentist and do you know dental work to fix a tooth was cheaper than just getting it taken out so she's had three teeth removed

just for she sorry it was cheaper to get them taken out than get them fixed so she just got them taken out she's like missing like

is it two or three it must be two because three would be shocking she's missing out, then get them fixed. So she just got them taken out. She's like missing, like, is it two or three? It must be two, because three would be shocking. She's missing. If she does that, if she pulls her gun back, she's got no teeth. That's madness. Because she got them taken out instead of getting them fixed. You are, I never knew this.

I swear to God. That's minging. I wish she'd got them on her ring she's got to cash them in now grade them in bless her yeah honestly

she was skint so she's like I'm skint just whip them out for God did anyone know people I knew at college

would do they would go and do the medical the medical trials yes I knew a couple of people who did that to sit in a bed or whatever and just get like yeah the key loads of tablets yeah craziness got an email here just called toilet roll twat so i had to read it hello chris

and rosie me and my boyfriend live together it's not really dirty don't it's not really disgusting me my boyfriend lived together and have done for a while now although he is quite good around the house one habit of his has really started and i didn't know this was a phrase and i really like it has really is really starting to twist my tits twist my tits great phrase grip my shit that's a good one as well excellent yeah he always does the same routine when he gets in from work he goes to the, runs himself a bath and does his business on the loo. Well, the past few months I've noticed if the loo rule is already out and has less than half left, he will get a full new one from the box and use that instead. Why?

Meaning that when he's finished, we have a half used one and now a brand new one open, which he then puts on the window sill as the other one is on the holder oh no that's really annoying that's that's that would be a beef that's a beef right there isn't it is he an arsehole or am i uh ocd he's an arsehole no he's he's having he's laughing at you oh i want i get first of all he every night he gets in from work and runs his bath straight away like a friggin old wife ridiculous right oh i need to get in and have me bath straight away oh and i'm having me precious poo i need a brand new toilet roll for my precious poo you're pathetic mate honestly unbelievable that i know that That's reminded me of a visual

that I think I'll have for the rest of my life. My little brother, Kevin, he's going to hear this. I just remember when he was little, he was about four or five, he used to go to the toilet, do his business, and he used so much toilet roll

to the point that I can actually see him rolling it around his hand, wiping his bum, and there's nothing on the toilet roll to the point that I can actually see him like rolling it round his hand wiping his bum and there's nothing on the toilet roll but he just keeps undoing it

and I remember my mum just being like Kevin! Stop using so much toilet roll! You're not even wiping anything anymore! And I just can see him

use so much You're not even wiping anything anymore because there was nothing to wipe there was nothing to wipe there was nothing to wipe but he'd just wrap it around

his hand and he'd wipe his bum and he'd put it in the there was nothing and I can see him doing it so weird god if only

I've got the opposite I swear I've got a shell I know it was dry dry as a bone just reminded us of that

but yeah kind of be opening it but then then there's part of his though right okay dry as a bone. Just reminded us of that. But yeah, kind of be opening it. But then, then there's part of his though, right, okay, can we just say,

do you know what? Why not do something, if he works hard, coming home from work, has his little bath, right? Why not treat yourself to a brand new toilet roll? He obviously likes it.

No, no, no, no, no, it's not treating himself. There's no difference. He's obviously just an absolute jerk. To him it is though. To him it might be like, oh, might be the way that, no. He's not treating himself. There's no difference. He's obviously just an absolute jerk. To him it is, though. To him it might be like, oh, it might be the way that it feels.

Brand new one. Brand new one. Fresh out the pocket. You know when he got that little bit of, if you get that off first time, you know the bit where it's glued down. If you don't have to do it and then pick the rest of it off.

So he knows it's brand new. Yeah. Yeah. Listen, as long as the other half doesn't get wasted, I'm on his side. That's like a hotel thing, though, isn't it? You know in hotels, they fold the toilet roll at the little point. Pointless. Why do they do that?

Like, they fold it at a little point, and some of the hotels I go to, they put a sticker. Waste of paper. And I can tell it's a half roll. Like, I know I'm not the first person, and I'm not bothered. I'm not going to, like, storm down a reception and go,

bloody second-hand toilet roll, and just throw it in the receptionist's face. It's ridiculous. I was thinking about this the other day actually. The hotels in South Weast here, there's always a brand new roll. What happens to all

them other rolls? What happens to the half rolls? Try and start a little sideline and sell them. I just want to know where they go. Do they take them home? I don't know.

Do you know what I mean? What happens to the half rolls? Why don't they just leave it? It wouldn't bother me going to a toilet and it not being a brand new roll. Rosie, I smell

your very own Channel 4 investigative documentary. So do I. Dispatchers presents Rosie Ramsey and the half toilet rolls. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun In Britain today, there are 17,000 hotels each using an average of 45,000 toilet rolls a week.

Half of that toilet roll is unaccounted for. Hello, I'm Rosie Ramsey and I'm here at Hotel A. Hotel A has been open for 35 years. They have, on average, 95 guests a week. Where's all the toilet roll going all right what you can't see guys because we're doing a podcast is that rosie has picked up uh her bottle of water and is using it as her reporter's microphone even though she is literally talking into a microphone for this podcast oh yeah i could have just done that oh she's now reached around the pop shield and held

the microphone with her hand where's all the toilet roll i'm gonna find out brilliant come and join me. Let's go to a factory. They always go to factories. Well, you know what? This is going to be hard hitting journalism. Louis Theroux is shitting himself. I can't wait. I'll tell you what, when you find it all, you can help him out. Got a question here. Now this is relating to something else that's happened as well. So if you haven't listened already, guys, go back and catch up.

Go back. Hiya, Chris and Rosie. I started binge listening to your podcast three days ago, and I've just had to put episode 19 on pause. Jesus, how much time have you got on your hands? Jesus. Fair play. Had to put it on pause to tell you about my wedding day. The question where the bride's sister-in-law wants to wear the same colour

as the bride's maid is so relatable. So remember that episode 19 we talked about, the sister-in-law wanted to wear the same colour as the bride? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know, this is related to that. My, brackets now, ex-husband's mother turned up to our wedding

in the exact same colour and exact same dress as my bridesmaids. She had seen the bridesmaids' dresses and I'd even told her where they were from. No.

But she wouldn't let us see hers and when she turned up, we knew why. That's, that is awful. It's unforgivable that I knew. Isn't that the worst? Isn't that so bad? What? People think we're sisters. Isn't it?

That's what that is. That's exactly what that is. Oh my. isn't it that's what that is that's exactly what that is that oh my I would attach a photo but I burnt and deleted every bit of evidence from that mistake I made

wow glad you threw it now that's so I mean it must have been delicious as an onlooker when she turned up

oh it would that would have been everything can you imagine if we were at that wedding i'd have brought it up every 20 minutes can you believe your dress is very it looks similar it doesn't it just lies different but is that the same it is it's exactly the same wow so are you are you the mother of the groom? Are you a bridesmaid? I can't work it out. Are you both? So are I. You're both.

Wow. Do you know what it is? It's essentially, it's like a stage invasion, but a wedding. It's like she's jumped on and joined the band. It's just the worst. I think, like, can you imagine how her mam would have felt? Oh, the bride's mam? The bride's mam.

Oh, God, aye. Well, apparently she turned up in a suit. her mam would have felt oh the bride's mam the bride's mam ye god aye well apparently she turned up in a suit and that's it thanks once again for listening hope you've enjoyed

that one it was a good one actually wasn't it yeah fantastic but best one yet if you want to get in touch it's shagmarriedannoyed

at gmail.com and rate and like and subscribe and all your little podcast shops. And yeah, thank you very much. Big love. We'll be back properly next week. Properly. Goodbye. Behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Gimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring. Followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder.

April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit TSO.ca. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th, when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now

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