Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 37. The Urine Episode

Episode Date: October 25, 2019

It's definitely episode 37! And Chris meets a superstar while Rosie is having laptop bag issues. They discuss shopkeepers, kissing on the lips and receive the most disgusting email yet... Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Gimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder. April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit tso.ca. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm.

You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game. And you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com. Hello, you're listening to Shagged Marianoid with me, Rosie Ramsey, and my husband, Christopher Ramsey. He's made it to Halloween week on Strictly Come Dancing. Nobody can actually believe it's true. They can't believe their eyes, but he's going to be there on Halloween. I tell you what, you know what, the support and belief that you've got in me just really gets us through.

It really gets me through. I am shooketh that you've got in me just really gets us through. It really gets me through. I am shooketh that you're still there. Shock's done, what's it? Stunned, amazed. It's because of these beautiful, do you know what? It's because of the beautiful Shad Mardinori listeners, or the SMAs,

as I think we're, the SMAs. Get in. The SMAs. The SMAs and DAs. Yes! And the beautiful general public who seem to be keeping us in.

Not your dancing then? No. Oh, no, not me dancing. Holding up the old bottom three of the leaderboard every week. The old Ramsey slot. Have you not been above the bottom three? Second week, I was fifth actually after me Charleston. And then I've been...

Downhill, it's meant to get better. In what has been christened the Ramsey slot. The problem is everyone else is just getting too good. Well, this is the problem. Blame them. You're still in it. Still going good. Still in. Miss you around the house sometimes. Not going to lie.

Well, you know. Every cloud. Great. Welcome back. This is episode... Why do we do this? 37. Well, 37 was my favourite number and that was last week So this is 38 Was it 37 though?

It's a magic number Because I'm sure I said it was 36 and it wasn't 37 No it was 37 Really? So this is 38 Listen to the conviction in my voice It was 37 Okie dokie

This is 38 Guys welcome And obviously before we start A quick word from this week's lucrative, lucrative sponsor. Still not making hardly any money. Stop it. Stop slagging off the sponsors. This week's sponsor is that little dream you have when you're just nodding off to sleep

and you jump and you scare the shit out of yourself. That thing. Do you know what that is? What? Sorry, I know you like to take your sponsors quite seriously but genuinely right it's better to be good if you're in a if you wake up like

like that in bed it means that you're probably dreaming about falling off a cliff and you've woke up before you've died oh do you believe that do you believe that

if you fall off the cliff and you hit the bottom you died yes how has that ever been proven in the world dead people what yeah

but how do you know they were dreaming about falling off a cliff wrote a quick note whoever was possibly in bed with them felt them not no i don't know maybe it's not being proven but that's what i've heard absolutely that's what i'm sticking with and not be proven and i'll be honest with you it goes against our sponsor because they specifically told me that they don't like that being mentioned,

the death thing, because it sullies their product. Well, maybe they should go back to my second year comprehensive and tell whoever told me then. Yeah, exactly the same. Yes, that had exactly the same thing. We had an argument about it in school. I just had a flashback to it there. Someone said, yeah.

Someone actually said in my class, it happened to me, mate. The teacher was like, fuck off. Dead. Anyway, fuck off. Dead. Anyway, back to the sponsor. Hey, want to scare the shit out of the person who's in bed with you? Do one of them little dream things. Eh? Want to feel so pathetic and babyish in one little moment?

Do one of them little dream fall things. Eh? And mine's normally falling off my bike or down a curb. What's yours? What is mine? I was asking oh sorry that's the

that's the slogan of the product what's yours? you're finally learning how it works what's yours? I've tried to be teaching this for so long

radio speak like you're talking to one person but we're not we're not mate we're talking to 10 million ah wow

motherfucker wow we just hit 10 million downloads this week people thank you so so much for all of the love and support and don't forget

to get your little dreams in I need to do 10 of these 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 million this is the longest intro we've ever done well 10 million

10 million disappointed people here we go oh here's the jingle god lord shut up we had a fight about the jingle

jingle we couldn't settle on a jingle jingle so this is the jingle jingle we hope you like

the jingle jingle babadoo babadoo babadoo jingle hello and welcome back. Just want to start this week's episode with a public apology. This is actually episode 37, not 38. What kind of unprofessional shitbag podcasters start a podcast without knowing what episode it is us like genuinely

babes we've just hit 10 million downloads and that is shoddy it hasn't we're still in the kitchen we're still doing it on the same £500 gear

and you know what right we didn't check because we've got our phones on airplane mode so they don't so they don't affect the sort of laptop

and everything listen is that not what's nice about this podcast? It is very low rent. It's very low rent. But that's like us. We are pretty low rent.

Yeah, to be fair. If you've got good enough headphones, guys, you can hear the fridge humming in the background. Yeah, and as well, you know the jingle? Yeah, yeah. It only plays in one ear. I heard about that. Different bits play in one ear

because me and my friend Steph recorded that on this laptop and we didn't know how to do it. it only plays in one ear I heard about that different bits play in one ear because me and my friend Steph recorded that on this laptop and we didn't know how to do it so sorry about that if you're sharing a headphone

with someone and listening to this podcast you'll probably get like a da da da da da da and then

the person will get the tune or if you're one of them really cool kids who just puts one headphone in remember people at school who did that they just puts one headphone in. Remember people at school who did that? They just put one headphone in. Why?

Because it was cool. So they could probably listen to all their cool friends saying really cool stuff while they had, you know. I just find that, I just find that extremely rude actually.

I'd be like, excuse me. I can't get my head around people who always need to be listening to music. It freaks us out. I don't want people who just always need it on non-stop.

Well, oh my, how funny, right? I was thinking about this the other day right i'm a bit like that i constantly have to have like the telly on or music or something tell us about it yeah tell us about it still one of my top beefs i have to sit in the sitting room while you're making some food or whatever and you've got bloody uh house wives of wherever the fuck on on the on the ipad on the ipad full pelt on the iPad coming up with a little shitty tinny rattly iPad speaker but you've got a new

place to put it now what you do is you put it at the back of the hob right so it's in like a fucking cave so it echoes around and all you hear is you didn't come to my event but it's literally like honestly the other day I was sitting trying to watch UFC and all I heard was your thing go

previously on the Housewives of Atlanta or whatever it was. Petorma. Petorma, sorry. I'm sure there's a massive narrative fucking difference, isn't there? It literally went, previously, and the first three things was just the beep machine covering up their swearing. I was like, these are the worst people on the planet.

Previously, a beep, beep, and you've a beep. Oh, God. And there's you, you bloody stir fry and stuff while they're swearing at each other. Heaven's above. Listen, I love it. But back to what I was saying. Yeah?

Apparently, I got told a while ago that if you constantly have to be surrounded by noise and you don't like silence that much, then it's a sign of depression. Really? Yeah. And I was like, right, well. But you're quite happy.

You're all right. Well, that's what I thought until I got told that and then now I think I'm severely depressed you just don't know you don't know do you I just like I just like

noise noise and sorry I didn't mean to cut you up there but if I don't say this it'll go out of my mind I don't know if we've talked about this before

but you know how people are like I hate actually this is my beef with the world people wow haven't got a TV don't watch TV

someone said it to me the other day oh shut up it's one of the most arrogant things you can say nah don't watch telly don't watch telly

haven't don't even own a TV oh fucking bravo yeah someone said it to me what the hell was that did someone just get a message

or something I don't know it's probably the telly it's not even on flight it's not even on bloody flight oh man yeah someone said it to me the other day

but when they say they don't have a telly I go okay right but I know it's like well I know you've got a phone

I know you've got a tablet I know you've got a computer so you can watch telly on all of them so why are you being a dick yeah right but it's like a badge of honour

don't have a telly but someone said it to me the other day they went I just don't watch telly I went if you've not got a telly no I've got one I don't watch it and i wanted to go will

you pay your license fee for fuck all yeah idiot liar 110 110 quid a year for an out all liars they're all liars i hate it i hate it our parents do we've talked about this before my mom claims she never watches telly during the day every time you go over some shit during the day every single time tip and point your mom's chase oh yeah watched telly. Have you watched that new box set? I'm all the way through it. All right, well, liar. So you know how people are like, meditate and all this,

which is great. My sister does it. She's in all that kind of stuff. Yeah. My relaxation is telly on. Oh yeah. Utter drivel. Yeah.

Just switch off. Love it. And I love it. I love watching telly. I'm not ashamed to say that I enjoy watching people acting on the screen. I'm honestly not ashamed to say I quite like dual screening. What's that? So I'll sometimes stick something on just so it's on while I'm on my phone.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I do it in hotels specifically. And I've got this thing I told you this week, and I've got this thing where I love watching stuff in hotels. So when I'm in a hotel and it's only got like free view I flick through the channels

Apollo 13 was on the other day in the hotel I couldn't believe my luck it was on I think it was on ITV or something and then I was like ITV 2

and I was like hold on a second I missed like 40 minutes of it I went hold on ITV 2 plus 1 was there booyah watched the bad lad from the beginning

you phoned us 40 minutes before the end talked to you for half an hour missed most of it. But still, I was happy to watch it. Seriously, you could get it on catch-up? It's not the same. I like watching it live.

Live, dear. I remember somebody said to me once, they were like, God, you watch loads of... This is one of them people who's like, don't watch telly. They were like, you watch loads of TV. I was like, oh, sorry, does that make me less of a human being than you? Because I't watch telly they were like you watch loads of TV I was like oh sorry does that make me less of a human being than you

because I like watching telly because my enjoyment right my lovely bit of my life when I used to work full time was just coming home having a bath put my dramas on

watching the telly that's what people do where I live it's a working class thing yeah it's a working class thing sitting down watching the telly happy days

did I ever tell you I'm not going to name and shame but someone once uh on the twitter um i think they've changed it now but someone i know the twitter the twitter bio just said i read books oh no that's all it said it didn't yeah it did i was just like oh my god i read books but it was the like i always read it in the phrase in the way i'm saying i always read it in this way i read books like that yeah like not not yeah not i read books uh so i there was for me there was an invisible uh before it it was uh i read books oh i hate them oh god i actually don't like people who can sum up their full life in their Twitter biog.

I hate it. It really winds us up. It's like, you know, husband, father, hiker, motorbike enthusiast, pizza lover. Fuck off, man. Really? That's it, is it? That's all of it in one go. Do you know what I hate? What?

It's an Instagram thing. Right. They have emojis for every person that's in their family so it'll be like mom dad child child child baby whatever that'll be like a cat and a dog great and then sometimes it's like a a cat with a with a halo on so that cat's died and you just want to Really? Really? Really? While we're on it, people who just reply exclusively with GIFs and emojis, they can fuck off while we're at it. Why?

Karen does it. Karen Hauer. I know you don't listen, Karen, my dance partner, but I know David listens. David, I feel your pain, mate, because whenever I text Karen anything, I should get a GIF back of a cat. Anything. Literally like, oh, hey, I'm really sorry. I'm running late. I had to take the pain at nursery. Karen anything I should get a gif back of a cat anything literally like oh hey I'm really sorry I'm running late

I had to take the baby to the nursery I'll be half an hour late for training just a gif of a cat I quite like that though I don't know what I literally said

the other day I said how the fuck did you communicate before gifs ridiculous I like a gif though no they're funny but it's exclusive

Jason Cook does it as well it's all I get back I get no I literally sometimes I just reply good chat I might start doing it or don't I can't take it honestly you know me i need attention i need to know people put the effort into speaking who is shocked what are we up to uh this is uh just there's still the

introduction this is just oh my god what you've been up to first of all how is 37 your favorite number this is episode 37 we talked about it last week. Yeah, but I feel like we didn't dive enough into it. Why is 37 your favourite number? Is it the way it looks? Is it the way it sounds? I don't know. How is 37... Like, three is one of my favourite numbers.

I don't know why. It just is. But three comes up quite a lot in life. It's a magic number. Well, in Strictly, I'm all three to vote. Vote Ramsey. Vote as many times as you can, Zee. And on the floor, we'll stand on all three

when we do the keep dancing thing that's probably got to do with the fact that that's your number yeah not some sort of and I was like

ooh three's my favourite number I mean it'll mean nothing I'll probably go out this week but and you're always in the bottom three there we go bottom three what's he called

Craig Ravel Hall would give you a three yeah Shirley gives a three as well thanks for bringing up the past did Shirley give you a three as well first week she gave us a three, yeah. She doubled it this week. Oh, she gave us a seven,

I think, this week. Boo-yah. Tripled it. Getting it back. No, no. 37. Right. There's my number.

Yeah, but why is it your favourite? I don't know. Why not? Why not? I just thought when 37 would come up. Have you ever lived in 37, a house number 37? No.

Right. So when is 37 things ever going to be? Why does it have to be? It 37 a house number 37 no right so when is 37 things why does it have to be it's just a number that I like I just see the number 37 and I think I like that number

so the shape the 3 then the 7 no maybe it's not the shape I don't know I just like the number there's no reason to it I was just about to say because 3 can be my favourite

because if I go to the like if I get myself a cup of tea and some biscuits I will get 3 biscuits and I was about to say you wouldn't get 37 biscuits but you would I mean I because if I go to the like if I get myself a cup of tea and some biscuits I will get three biscuits and I was about to say you wouldn't get 37 biscuits but you would

I mean I would if I could I bloody would 37 biscuits how good are them biscuits that I bought from Waitrose oh

someone's changed someone's bloody joined a bit that lucrative sponsor money that we've been getting yeah well because I've been treating myself

and I've been ordering them with meat online at Waitrose them biscuits are nice them cookies but I'd just dip one look at a sponsor money that we've been getting? No. Well, because I've been treating myself and I've been ordering and we'll meet online at Waitrose. Them biscuits are nice, them cookies, but I just dipped one in some tea and it turned into bread.

It essentially just turned into bread. So it's not a good dipper. They're not good dippers at all. There's too much A in them. What have you been up to this week? Not much. I went to Newcastle today

to buy some shoes to match a dress, which was very frustrating. Right. And I also, I'm one of them cafe wankers who sits on my laptop using the free wi-fi having like one cup of coffee really um and i was there today and you know this is quite sad like i put on my instagram we've got a really top podcast in the country yeah we're doing quite well you're on strictly

like you know yeah jobs works canny life's good also a top flight stand-up comedian we'll carry on well that's you yeah but you know not just on Strictly

just so everyone knows no this is your job now it's all you do you're just a dancer oh god you're gonna be on the West End after this I'd rather die

so yeah today I had to take my laptop to Newcastle right in a carrier bag what kind of carrier bag? a five pence carrier bag

it wasn't even a good bag for life it was a five pence co-op carrier bag co-op ones the co-op ones are see-through yeah well I had to put it in that

and then put it in me bag because I haven't got a laptop cover what's wrong with you they're like you can get laptop covers on them little stalls in the middle of newcastle for like two quid i don't know what size it is you had it with you oh jesus oh here's something really annoying. Laptop case aside, because I need to do...

Because what happened was the week before when I was being a cafe wanker, I got sand in the charger bit. Jesus Christ. Off the bottom of my bag. Right. So I had sand in my bag. This is just you all over. Your car's a fucking mess.

Well, I know. Everything's... You're a disgrace. Well, I just need a laptop case. Sand in your... What have you got sand in your bag for? You're nine. What have you been doing?

We live at the coast. I live at the coast. I've got sand in my bag. I live at the coast as well. There's no sand in any of my things. Oh, mate, there's absolute shite in my bag. There's sand. There's like chewing gum that I've put in a little bit of paper that's

come undone. It's disgusting in my bag. You once shouted at me. Your bag is bad, but the side, the little door, the door of the car. Yeah, the door of your car is disgusting and you once when we shared a car you once shouted at me

because I threw a half-eaten humbug away out of the side of the bag it was all like manky wrappers and there was a couple of humbugs in

and some you took out and spat them back into the thing and you like went off it you were like why have you thrown your humbugs away I was like some of them

had been like partially digested because I was just keeping them disgusting for later you're an animal. Minging. I've just watched you there

before we started. Take some prawns out of the fridge and then just squeeze some mayonnaise and ketchup together and just eat some cold prawns, dip them in that. It's a prawn cocktail. What's the crack?

Yeah, you didn't, I deny, you didn't put them in a plate. Oh, it's because I didn't prepare a meal to your standard. Some of us can just eat, you know, for eating's sake.

Don't have to have a three course flipping dinner every time we do you could slice us a ham like I don't know oh shut up anyway

this is what I was going to say so not that I'm slagging them off because I do like them if they ever want to send us free stuff I would be happier with that right went to the apple shop today

to get a cover for my phone because I haven't got a case for my phone because that broke because I'm a useless human being went to get a case right and i was looking i was like oh the whole stand across one wall all iphone what's the new one 11 11 all iphone 11 cases i was like all right okay we've got the new iphone 11 and uh they just don't have any cases for any of their phones oh yeah

that's it yeah so i went the man i was like um i've got an iphone 10 have you got any cases for any of their phones. Oh, yeah, that's it, yeah. You're a dinosaur. I went to the man, I was like, I've got an iPhone 10. Have you got any cases? He was like, what kind of shop is this? Do you know what I mean? I'm sorry, even though it still works, it doesn't exist in our eyes anymore. Only this one does. Did he not spit on you?

No, I wanted to spit on him, but I just thought this is the most ridiculous shop. And you know when big, you know, pretty women, when they're like, big mistake, huge mistake.

I was like, I would have spent good money in here buying a case. 20 quid? They're more than that. They're more than that. They're about 30 quid. Because the good ones,

when you've dropped them, that's what I needed. And I was so pissed off. I was like, oh, what? Because I haven't got the iPhone 11 what's it got

a new camera fuck off did they all laugh at you did the wedgie on the way out for having the old phone did they call your names no I

just it seems like that kind of thing we've only got puts goes on the tanner in the shop at least we've got an iPhone 10 user in loser

just keep slapping you in that and pulling your hair I know so strange shame shame shame

all the way down the street in Newcastle and it's cracked I mean your phones are disgraced I know but as well you know there were someone was having

a little lesson I find that really weird yeah when they're going and have lessons yeah like there's about 6 people sat there with their laptops

getting a lesson. I'm like, what are you doing, man? I mean, you can't find more stuff. Yeah, YouTube, you can find out more stuff. Yeah.

Would you go for a lesson? I was going to say because on YouTube you get taught by a 12-year-old American guy or a 12-year-old Chinese kid and they're a little bit condescending,

especially if you're older you might not want to be taught by a 12-year-old child. That's true. But the guys in the Apple store know better. I must have told you about the time my mate went in for an ipad case i told you didn't i he went if you have the right ipad he went in for an ipad shame he's like i'm all can i have this ipad what's it like on or whatever and the bloke just like ripped open the packet for this case like a bear just ripped it open and my mate was like mate like

i didn't say i wanted it I just want to know what it looked like and the guy looked at him and he went mate Apple's got more money in the bank than the American government

wanker wow yet you see none of it it's not your it's not your company dickhead well then that gets us

onto a whole other thing of why do people who work in a shop feel and act like they own the shop yeah

like seriously sometimes not all of them most people but yeah it's the ones who are dicks about it

oh my god mate this isn't your shop you want Dave being cute stop being a wanker do you know when I worked

at Dorothy Perkins and people used to nick stuff I'd be a bit annoyed because I'd be like oh that is so bad and I hate thieves and whatever

but then I'd go to bed and I'd sleep because with annoyed because I'd be like, oh, that is so bad and I hate thieves and whatever. But then I'd go to bed and I'd sleep because it's not... With all your jewellery on that you're next. Rattling away. Go to bed

and I'd sleep in me Dorothy Perkins bloody puffer jacket that I stole. Bloody stole. I tell you what. Every shop I've worked in has rinsed me.

Aye. Because I've just bought everything. Really? Oh, I get me... Oh, mate, staff discount. I'd get my paycheck and I'd just spend it on shit from that shop. And I'd be like, I'm literally working here to spend it here. I got a store card in one of them where I worked. I got into debt at my job.

Ridiculous. Absolutely. It was River Island we'll not be paying you this week Rosie we'll just take a little chunk off your store card debt you actually owe us £300 Rosie oh no it's ridiculous

no wonder you started nicking I don't by the way I haven't I met Cheryl this week eee you did I know how funny. And I've just listened to a podcast with her on the day. Rosie, I got so sort of took by surprise.

It was crazy. I was walking down the corridor at Strictly and I had all my gear on ready to go on. And I just saw this familiar face standing at the door. And there was loads of people around. And I kind of broke away from the gang. So I thought, oh, I must know you. I must have worked with you. And the people you're with, you must be the entourage of someone really famous and she went hey hiya Chris you all right

you enjoying it and I was like yeah and I'm looking at her going where do I know you from why do I know your face and then I went hold on you're I went we haven't met she went well no but you know I've been watching the show and like you know i feel like i know you i went well yeah but hello are you all right i really i really i think i must have looked like an absolute pillock to be fair did you not go cheryl that's just honestly so i gave her like a cuddle and i was like he's really lovely to me because we both do nick grimshaw so we've got like a friend in common i know she's good mates with grimmie but i was just like oh yeah and then she was just asking how it went and it was honestly it took us so long I felt so embarrassed

that I didn't know who she was but at the same time I didn't want to go can I just check you are you are Cheryl aren't you just checking you are

you are Cheryl the Cheryl you're not like I don't just know you from home like you are superstar Cheryl

you're not my mate sister yeah we didn't meet at a barbecue like I do yeah crazy it's just one of

their moments where it's dead lovely and then the best bit was she sat in front so your auntie and uncle

your uncle Kevin and auntie Karen came to the show on Saturday they sat behind Cheryl for the full time she was there

I was like I was looking I kept looking over and waving at them I was like they will be buzzing they will be so buzzing went to the bar afterwards to see them I was like I was looking I kept looking over and waving at them I was like they will be buzzing they will be so buzzing

went to the bar afterwards to see them I was like he's alright hey what do you think sitting behind Cheryl the whole time he's must have been buzzing

they both went what who I went Cheryl was in front of you that was who it was the camera was always on I thought she was just

someone's mate they were absolutely gutted they had no idea they were gutted. It's hilarious. I bet you smells nice. She did smell very nice.

What like? Just like, just a nice, just a bonny lass. Like a nice perfume. A nice bonny lass. I bet you smells lovely. She did, she smelled very nice. I don't mean that to sound creepy. No, no, I think.

I shouldn't have whispered that last bit. Of all the bits of that sentence to whisper, it shouldn't have been, she smelled very nice. She smelled lovely. Like a dotty. She smelled like a peas pudding sandwich in the fog on the Tyne.

With sand on it, because we live near the coast. You love her. I share her love. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. It's time for Watch Your Beef. You joined in there, did you? I just like this scene.

Well, jingle, put the jingle in. Watch Your Beef. Watch Your Beef, Watch Your Beef, what's your beef? What is your beef? Watch Your Beef. Shouldn't be such an irritant. Tell you what, I'll sing you in court.

Okay, ladies first, Watch Your Beef. Okay, my beef with you this week was something else, but something else just happened. Oh, okay. Why? Have we done this before? Shit the bed. I don't know.

Why do you get so annoyed if I leave the fridge open for longer than a second? Why is that a thing? Rosie, you had that fridge. So we've got a fridge. On the bottom is the fridge. Show off. On the top is the freezer. Show off. It's a smeg as well. On the bottom is the fridge. Show us. On the top is the freezer. Show us.

It's a smeg as well. On the bottom is the fridge. On the top, it's the freezer. The doors open independently. You opened both the freezer and the fridge door and you had them both standing open like you were trying to cool yourself off, like in bloody, what's it called?

Universal Soldier, where the dead bodies overheat and they have to cool themselves down. Jean-Claude Van Damme. Has anybody seen that there will be people out there who get that reference

has anyone seen universal soldier Dolph Lundgren Jean-Claude Van Damme is that when he does the splits all the time excuse me

he does the splits in every film that doesn't narrow it down it's his thing he did it on a bloody advert recently in between two

lorries oh yeah he did it's amazing you stood there like you were trying to drop the temperature of the room almost like opening a window to let something out the freezer was open the fridge was open you were just standing going what can i have playing with your hair i said if you don't shut that i'm gonna lose my mind so what what do you want me to do do you want me to open the fridge have a look right no use me photographic non-existent memory shut the fridge

and go oh what should I have so you want me to look shut it and then decide what to have and then open it again and get this get your phone open it

take a photo close it look at the photo that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in the world but why and can I just tell you listeners

well that wasn't bad that was bad radio isn't it can I just tell you right listener listener I want one listener one 10 million

listener um you get so irate yeah with that and i don't know where that comes from uh my mom right come for my mom my mom once told us that once you open the fridge and close it again it takes 40 minutes to get back to the temperature it was that and i think that's a lie that's an absolute lie i got shouted at when I was younger 40 minutes but then again right what are you what are you keeping that cold

I don't know well do you bloody roll my parents in little things well back in the day people didn't even have a fridge right they just had a larder

that would have been amazing because no one could leave the fucking door open non-stop that'd be buzzing oh my god you're infuriating. What were you going to say? I was going to say,

when I was younger, all my friends came round mine when my mum and dad went on holiday and one of the lads left the fridge open. He had the fridge open while he was getting some butter out or something. He was very annoying what he was doing. He took the butter out

and buttered his toast while he had the fridge open. And I literally shouted, like, shut the fridge. But I, like, screamed it like I was jumping in front of, like, someone firing a gun. That shouldn't be. I was like, shut the fridge. But that shouldn't.

And they're all, like, that had me life for years. Yeah, I'm not surprised. I don't know how you've got any mates going on like that. Me neither. Hey, here's an idea. Glass fridges. Amazing. Not a bad idea, that.

Well, the wine one is. Yeah, yeah. Like in a pub. Big glass one where you can see all your food inside. In a pub? They've got like big silver ones. No, like behind a bar where you can see all the beers. Oh, they are the ugliest things in the world.

Why would you want one of them? Our fridge is a mess anyway. I don't want to see it. It is disgusting. Just get over yourself and let us open the fridge. Choose what I'm going to eat and then shut the fridge. Like, you know,

a sane, normal human being. What if we got a bigger fridge and you could open it and climb in to pick your stuff? Oh, really? Go on, you beef. What's your beef? With me, excuse me.

Well, it can't be that you keep the fridge open because we've just covered that, but that is one of me beefs. But I've got another beef. Oh, lovely. My my beef with you is and you've done this for quite a while and i've only noticed it because he did it quite recently a couple of times in the space of a couple of days for some unknown reason you pick up a tv remote piss off to another room in the house and leave it there and then come back into the room where we're watching telly

and go where's the remote the other day you said where's the remote and I went I don't know and I start looking for it you gave up looking for it and then you went

it might be in the hallway and I walked up the hallway and it was fuck it was next to the front door the sky remote what you doing man what's wrong with you oh in my

defence judge and jury I've just I don't know since I've had Robin and just since I'm a grown up just got loads of things on my mind and I walk round this house just picking stuff up

all the time and putting stuff down yeah so I've got no there's no I've not noticed I've done that but I've had it in my hand just picking stuff up all the time and putting stuff down. Yeah. So I've got no, there's no, I've not noticed I've done that, but I've had it in my hand. I probably put it down to pick something else up to take it somewhere else. It's all I do in this house. Right. And, you know, we've got Sky Q, right?

So you press the front of it and the remote beeps to tell you where it is. It was so far away we couldn't hear it from the room we were in. Well. That's how far you'd travelled, the Sky remote. Yeah, it doesn't surprise us. Why are you picking it up and taking it out of the room we were in that's how far you'd travelled the Sky Remote yeah it doesn't surprise us why are you picking it up and taking it out of the room

what do you mean like you're saying you're picking it up and putting it down why are you putting it down in the hall why is it going to the hall Chris I don't know

why you know because probably Robin was going I want Mr Maker on I want Mr Maker and I was probably making tea so then I put Mr Maker on

gone back there gone to the hall, I don't know. Anyway, sorry, there's no excuse for that but you know, don't chastise us for it.

I'm not, but it's the beef section I've got to have a beef. Do you want to leave us because I left the bloody Sky Remote in the hallway? I don't know, how far do I go?

If I leave you, how many Sky Remotes am I going to find along the way? Down the path in there? Up the fucking motorway? Do you remember when we lost it for a while and we had to use the front room one for both rooms? That was fun. And where path in there? Up the fucking motorway? Do you remember when we lost it for a while

and we had to use the front room one? Yeah. For both rooms. That was fun. And where was it again? Oh, I don't even remember. It was somewhere ridiculous, like in the car or something.

I can't remember. You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe-Hirwe, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Gimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder April 5th at Roy Thompson hall for tickets visit TSO dot CA this Friday you must be very careful Margaret it's a girl witness, don't. The first omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what?

Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil. Movie of the year. What's the real story? What's the real story? Who said that? The first omen.

The Impeders Friday. Get tickets now. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th, when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now

to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game, and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com start off with a good one about poo great good heavens nobody's complaining nah no one's complaining so do you know what this is real life

this is real life this is what we talk about it's all good we keep saying as well there's how many how many people in the just in the UK 68 million

so we've got 10 million downloads so half and half a lot of people won't like poo but then don't listen yeah I think the people who don't like any kind of toilet humour, I think we've weeded them out quite a long time ago.

I agree. And I'm glad. Yeah, good for you. I don't like people who don't like toilet humour. I don't like people who don't like toilet humour. I don't like people who don't like swearing. Yeah, we wouldn't get on. No, we wouldn't get on at all.

Nah, they probably don't have a telly either. Probably don't. Definitely don't. So, hi Chris and Rosie. Last week's podcast reminded me of an advert I'd seen for a robot that automatically finds and clears up dog poo. Sent a little video of it. Wow. This is a thing.

Should get a campaign to get it brought to your local council. Blah, blah, blah. Okay, that's not to do with this. So, she sent a little story along with this. But that was just the beginning of it. Thank you for sending that. Sorry, so there's actually a robot that can clean up poo

yeah apparently so apparently so wow I haven't watched the video in all year that would last two minutes around here oh wow

two minutes not even that how long before a group of kids just gathered round it and started shitting on the floor to see if it would

pick up human shit yeah about ten minutes not even that yeah shitting on it rubbing shit on it. Yeah. If you got it at the nuke on a lunch break.

Do you know what I mean? Hey, I'll have you know, them school kids are bloody fantastic. I'm training at that school near the nuke. They're absolutely amazing. Better than we were. Christ alive.

Yeah. I walked to the nuke with like in a bunch of kids. I didn't go with kids. That sounds really weird. I was like, where's Gold? Can I come with you?

You got the chippy? I just to buy you some drink. It wasn't that. Oh, were you that awful older person who used to just be there with all the kids and you'd be like, who is this man? Can you remember that? A 30-odd-year-old bloke knocking around with, like, children. Not a relation.

Just a friend. They always had proper thick glasses as well. They were always just, like, a weird, gunky-looking... Yeah, really skinny. Yeah. Smoker. Always had a bike. Yes., gunky looking. Yeah, really skinny. Yeah, smoker. Always on a bike. Yes. Always on a bike. Always on a bike. They're always very

fit, Jarvis. They've got lovely six-packs because they're just on bikes all the time. Goes above 10 degrees, t-shirt off on your bike. Still get your hat on. Sometimes they do t-shirt off with gloves on. Seen that before. It's good luck. Very good luck. Anyway, what was the story?

Sorry. When I was younger my dog had diarrhea on our living room carpet good god and my mum wanted to claim it

off the insurance what the fuck is going on because doggy accidents weren't covered by the policy she lied

and said that my younger sister, who was nine years old at the time, had done it. She then turned the fire on before they came to assess it to aggravate it so that the whole house smelled very strongly of shit. Oh my God! What's wrong with people? It was vile.

My sister had to lie to the insurance man and pretend that she had shatter herself on the carpet. He came where the insurance man comes round. She was mortified. I'm coming to inspect this shit stain on your carpet. Hello, good day. Yes, I will have a cup of tea, please. Two sugars.

Was it you? Honestly. She was mortified and she cried in front of him. Oh, Jesus Christ. She did not live it down for years, but it worked and we got a new carpet. Hooray. That, that.

You're ridiculous. Do you know what the best bit is? So they got the insurance guy around and they had to pretend that this poor lass had cacked on the floor and she's having to pretend in front of it. You know they had to get rid of the dog for the day guy around and they had to pretend that this poor lass had cacked on the floor and she's having to pretend in front of it. You know they had to get rid

of the dog for the day. You know someone had to take the dog out. Take the dog out, hide the, put them balls and treats away, put the dog's bed, put the dog's bed

in the back room. There's no dog here. Unbelievable. Beautiful story. Just go to, Morrison's rent out the supermarkets like Morrison's and stuff.

They rent out carpet cleaners for like 12 quid. I said, go get that. Well, I'm guessing this is back in the day though, like Morrison's and stuff, they rent out carpet cleaners for like 12 quid or something. Go and get that. Well, I'm guessing this is back in the day, though, Chris. So who was nine years old at the time? What you feed in your dog, that it's shite won't come off your carpet. Like, heavens above.

But that's what dogs do. Dogs have diarrhoea and that. And then dogs flipping thingy-the-orses along the floor. Didn't I never tell you about the time you have but tell everyone because it's a lovely story come on so me mum and dad

had this thing when we were younger about never letting anyone know that they were getting anything new like it's just ridiculous like don't tell the neighbours oh we're getting new carpets

don't tell the neighbours we're getting a new fridge freezer I think it's because your mum's friend copied once do you reckon when she told me a story

that somebody copied something yeah and she was like and i think from then she's like don't tell anyone anything it's ridiculous i hate it i'll tell anyone everything i mean all you gotta do is listen to the podcast we'll tell you i know i'll never forget it one sunday um me auntie was around with her dog and the dog wasn't very well and we were getting new carpets on the monday and we're all sitting around talking and he was a lovely dog he was and he's like a little sort of bought of, bought a collie cross thing. A little black and white dog.

He was lush. And he wasn't very well. And he just did that thing where they put their back legs in the air and he just dragged his arse along the carpet. And he left. It was like a lime green carpet. And he left a visible brown line.

Like a full on skid mark across the carpet, right? And I remember going, bloody hell, it's a good job of getting that new carpet tomorrow. And my dad stood up and went, what are you talking about? What are you talking about, you idiot? We're not getting a new carpet.

And he ran through and got a load of cleaning stuff and he sat and cleaned this dog shit off the carpet for ages rather than just going, all right, we're getting a new carpet, right? Don't worry about it. He cleaned it for ages because he didn't want to tell me auntie we're getting a new carpet.

Why? Because he's a psycho. Poor dog didn't know where to put himself. Bless him. Can we just clap? You had a lime green carpet. It was minging. Yeah, there was a lime green carpet in the living room.

Wow. Yeah, it was lifting. Another one. Yeah. This is long and this is a story. Yeah. I thought you might enjoy it. Go for it.

I don't know. We'll see. We'll see. We never know with these. We just kind of say it and then if it's funny, it stays. If it's not, it goes. So here we go. Hi Chris and Rosie.

This is a story, not a question, but I promise it's good. Fair enough. Please keep me anonymous as I never want my girlfriend to hear this story. Always the best. I know. Always the best. P.S. I wasn't with her at the time of this story, but it's awful nonetheless. Wow.

I'm getting excited. I know. I'm getting excited. Okay. A few years ago, I went to Edinburgh for my mate's 21st. As there was a few of us, we rented a massive townhouse for the weekend just outside of the city. When we went out on a night we slowly started losing the lads one by one as people were going back to the house and going to different bars etc

so by about two o'clock in the morning there was only me and two of my mates left in the group one of my mates is a bit of a ladies man and was desperate to pull that night so he went over to this group of girls and started cracking on me and my other friend got a few drinks and then joined them i got talking to this girl who was absolutely stunning wow and well out of my league i thought i didn't have a chance however an hour or so later there were six of us in a taxi going back to the house oh god why get. Why? Get your condoms out for the lads. Can't you say 60 in a taxi? Must have been a seven-seater. I probably had to book that.

Yeah, they don't happen on the off-jads. That was planned. That was planned, that. Well done. Well done, lads. Well done, lads. When we got back to the house, we all went to our own rooms with the girls.

I was necking on with this absolute stunner until she asked me to go into the bathroom with her. Huh? We started stripping off whilst necking on in the bathroom and when we were totally naked she got on her knees and I'm not kidding my penis was about to touch her lips and she said in her Scottish accent piss in my fucking mouth piss in my fucking mouth. Oh my God.

Oh Jesus. Was that, did I do Irish then or Scottish? It doesn't matter. The sentiment was there. Oh my God. Oh my God. You ready? Oh my God.

Want the rest? Well. It's a bro-lik, mo-lik, nick the night. Piss in my fucking mouth

yeah that was it and that was terrifying yeah we right that's enough that's enough naturally in my head I was like

what the actual F is going on but in reality I was absolutely mortal and I just rolled with it so I started pissing

god alive right are you ready what is wrong with people are you ready I was absolutely mortal and I just rolled with it so I started pissing God alive right are you ready what is wrong with people are you ready she absolutely loved it oh my goodness she was rubbing it

all over her body collecting it in her mouth and spitting it on herself etc oh my god oh my god but Oh my god! It was fucking monkey. However, after I had finished, she grabbed my penis and went to town.

I was a bit reluctant to pursue things as she was covered in my piss, but she was so fit and I had already gotten this far, so in my drunken state I thought, nah, whatever, and we had sex in the bathroom on the pissy floor. in my drunken state I thought nah whatever and we had sex in the bathroom

on the pissy floor that that is one of the worst things I have ever heard in my life it's so grim there's more

oh my god are you ready can I just say first of all that was a rented house I know that's why you don't rent your house

out to large groups of people that's why you take a bloody big deposit right because the break glasses the steel cutlery and the piss on each other in the bathroom.

Can we also clarify, this is a one night stand. What people have got This is a one night stand. No shame whatsoever. That's something you build up to. Not just that,

he could have had anything. His wee could have been riddled in her mouth. Who's drinking? Who's winging in strangers' mouths? He could have had... He wants locked up. in her mouth? Who's drinking? Who's winging in strangers' mouths? He could have had

He wants locked up She wants locked up Who's winging in strangers' mouths? Answers to shout out to nooneatdv.com Welcome to

Rosie Ramsey's new Saturday Night Game show Who's winging in strangers' mouths? Come on Like seriously and this is I don't know if you've ever

if you've ever had a curry and you've had a wee afterwards and you can smell the wee you can smell the curry in the wee Yep, yep, I don't know if you've ever, have you ever had a curry and you've had a wee afterwards and you can smell the curry in the wee? Mm-hmm, yep, yep, really strong. What if you'd had a curry, what if you'd had asparagus? Oh my goodness gracious me, what if you'd had a barocca? Oh, what if you'd had mushy peas?

What do they do? They go green. What? Your wee goes green. It doesn't. I guarantee you it does. How many mushy peas? Like a tin.

Have you ate a full tin? Yes. Just with a a full tin? Yes. Just with a spoon cold? Yes. Right. Another thing, not being funny, this is two o'clock in the morning

after a drunken night out. That's lager. That is fully lager. That wee is lager. That's disgusting. What a vile, vile interaction we are discussing here.

Do you want to hear the rest of it? I don't know if I do. What do you think? I think I just felt the future collective heart dropping of people listening to this i think you have to tell us the rest so there's more um she was an animal she also had fake nails on and she was clawing my back to bits during this whole experience but because there was piss all over her hands, it was stinging like hell. This is absolutely revolting. She was scratching me and I had scars and a rash on my back in the morning. That is vile.

Honestly, I feel violated. I feel sick. I know, that's it. I can't even imagine the level of fit someone would have to be for me to go anywhere near them after i'd weed on them i can't imagine would you have done that in the first place though if you met a girl on a night out right it happens listen have as many one night stands as you like you know they're good get them out your system you're talking to me we're married you know oh no sorry i'm talking to oh you're doing that radio thing where you're talking like there's only one of them.

Sorry. I wasn't even looking at you. I was looking at the microphone. You just said have as many one night stands. I'll be honest with you, Rosie. I can't be arsed. Well, no, you can't now because we're married, but you've had them back in the day.

Spot on. I've had them back in the day. They're good for you. Get them out of your system while you're young. Blah, blah, blah. Use a condom. Be safe. This is a one night stand.

Don't be pissing on each other. If you, if you had a one night stand with a girl, right? And she was just about to do stuff, whatever.

She asked you to wee, would you do it? No. No, you wouldn't. Unless I was absolutely desperate and I was like, oh,

do you know what? I did need a wee and she is in the way of the toilet and she just wants to waste this wee. And yeah, but I would never call her again and I probably wouldn't have had sex with her. My God,

you would wee in someone's mouth? If I was massively desperate, if I was massively desperate and she was in the way of the toilet and she was very far, I don't know. I don't like disappointing people. I'm quite a people pleaser.

I don't know if I'd like to sidestep and go, look, I'm not weeing on you, but I'm going to wee in this toilet. But you'd have to say a little face going, oh, it could have been my wee. Or I'd go, how aboutep and go, look, I'm not weeing on you, but I'm going to ween this tie. But you'd have to see her little face going, oh, it could have been my wee. Or I'd go, how about a wee in this cup? Tell you what,

put the plug in the sink, a wee in the sink, I'll get me cell out and you can have a right laugh. Fill your boots, love. Imagine if you were weeing, just going, no.

Wasting bloody good wee there. That's what he's doing. Storms out. bloody wee waster wasting good wee imagine he'd already put the condom on and just said wee on us and he just filled it up

and it just fell off went all over the floor popped little condom full of wee made a little water bomb little wee wee to bomb oh my god

this is getting worse. Can I just say this is probably one of the most disgusting stories we've ever been sent. Possibly. I'm mortified. It's beautiful, though. Thank you so much. And at the end, he's like, don't read out my email address. He's terrified that someone's going to find out who he is.

Don't worry, we won't. Yeah, that's disgusting. If I was on a one-night stand, somebody asked away anywhere near me, I'd be like, no. But what about his mates? Someone in that house went to that toilet in the middle of the night with their socks on. Oh, well, the rest of it,

I didn't tell you the end of the story. Oh, Jesus, there's more. Anyways, afterwards, we both had a shower and said nothing else of it. So they've had a shower after, which is at least you know I mean how familiar are people

getting on one night stands showers together weeing on each other is it weird that I find the shower together weirder than the weeing at dinner just like

having a shower together what would you talk about in a shower with someone you're having a one night stand with you just weed all hour do you want me to get here do me a favour love

will you do me back but be gentle because you're scratching all the piss into my skin. Do you mind passing the debt, old love? Will you gargle with it first, you minger? So, what's he said here? Yeah.

Had a shower afterwards. Said nothing else of it. She left in the morning with her friends and I ran through to tell my mates the whole thing. Whilst I was mid-story, we heard a loud bang Fantastic. That's the happy ending we needed. His mate slipped on the wee. Booyah.

Everyone's happy. Pissy pants. Good God. Babadoo babadoo babadoo bap. Hi Rosie and Chris. My boyfriend is in his mid-twenties and I've noticed he still kisses

all his family on the lips. I already love this email. I already love it. So that includes mum, dad, sisters. In brackets it says teenagers. I don't know why. No, I don't know.

And grandparents. Am I an awful girlfriend for finding this really weird? Especially when he kisses them and then goes to kiss me. It is. It's weird it's really weird maybe it's normal and i'm just a judgmental cretin but my family does not do this it's weird mid-20s his sister's brackets teenagers that's very funny not weird it's weird see i'm very much we are a kissing family, my bigger extended family. Yeah. Not on the lips. Not on the lips.

It's weird. Like cheeks. It is weird. Yeah. I'm sorry. I don't mean to sound like a prude and if you do it with your family, fair play,

but for me personally, in my opinion, it's really strange. Have you ever kissed your mum on the lips? When I was, little. I just got kind of a shudder, because I remember...

Oh, my God. Don't say it. No, no. I remember back in the day, when I was little, I'd kiss my mum on the lips. And I do remember one time where I think I, like,

tilted my head and kissed my mum on the lips. And I remember thinking, that's the last time I do that. And then I don't think I ever kissed her on the lips again forever. When we were younger,

we used to do we used to do superstar kisses with me mum what's that like basically a little bit like snogging but not

so you used to snog your mum no we all did it it was like a joke like we used to be like we were very young and it would be a joke

like superstar kiss like like and then like like like that for ages okay you know that's okay yeah but we were did you slip by the tongue sometimes not all oh don't you listen to this you'll be mortified but we used to call it superstar kiss but we're from a family where we had a song when we used to get in the bath like that's the kind of family we were what was the song song? Barely moo, barely moo.

Take your clothes off, too. Right. I've heard you singing that to Rob, and I didn't know that. Where's it from? We used to just sing it to each other, me and my brother and sister when we were getting in the bath.

What's it from? Is it from anything? No. You just made it up? We made it up. You know I used to make loads of songs up. Right, okay. Yeah.

Name another one? Oh, yeah. What was the other one? My song that I made up. I've sang it on the podcast before. Oh, the island one. Yeah. Tropical up I've sang it on the podcast before oh the island one yeah tropical island

yeah who could forget that classic of being alone with you on a tropical island in the sun

brilliant absolutely I'm glad glad we brought that back thank you fantastic 38 episodes in 7

37 37 comes back it's time for this week's celebrity question celebrity question that was awful erm

been doing that for weeks now and you've never said anything thought it was quite nice this week's celebrity question is from the scummy mummies I love these guys hi

Chris and Rosie it's the scummy mummies here it's me Helen and me, Chris and Rosie. It's the Scummy Mummies here. It's me, Helen. And me, Ellie. Hello. We're so excited to be on your podcast. I know, right? Unbelievable.

Amazing scenes. Fantastic. And of course, we have a question for you. Now, as a busy comedy double act touring around the country, we've pissed in some pretty wacky places, haven't we, Helen? Yeah, and often in front of each other. Yeah, that's right. So we want to know what's the most unusual or exotic or just odd

place you've ever done a wee? That's right. All the details, please. And do you do it in front of each other? Oh, that's nice, isn't it? You have a no shit rule, don't you, Ellie? Yeah, that's right. Shit in private, but pee? Oh, I could piss in the middle of the O2. I wouldn't give a monkey's. Alright. See you guys bye well they're on theme I know they're on topic

for the week what is this pissy podcast it's happened thank you so much Gummy Mummies love them guys I went on their podcast

a few weeks ago yeah they've got a podcast if you want to have a listen to them as well it's very good very very good where's the weirdest piss you've had away

do you know what it is, right? Our tour as well, obviously. Carl Hutchinson, my support act, is absolutely desperate to have a wee in bottles in the van rule. Right. He loves it. He's like, if he can wee in a bottle in a moving van,

he's happy as a pig and shit. See, I'm so jealous of that. He's over the moon. That man can do it. Yeah. So jealous. The weirdest place I've ever weed is Blue Water Shopping Centre in Kent, right?

I weed in the back of the van in a bottle because I needed a wee so badly and I didn't know how far into the shopping centre the toilets would be. So we pulled up, I made me tour manager, me driver and Carl get out of the van and I weed in the back of the van in a bottle

and then I went and put it in a bin on me way into the shopping centre and literally within three seconds of walking in, saw the toilets. Did you go and finish your weed or had you like finished it? No, I completely finished it in the bottle, yeah. I weed on a bonfire once. Oh, well done. In a clean recreational park when I was younger, some kids had, I was with

my mate who stood in dog shit Seven times a month Oh yeah yeah What my BMXers And some lads Had set a fire And a weed on it And put it out

Oh you are crazy And I remember thinking Is wee flammable Will the wee Will the fire Fly up me stream of wee And burn me tiddler But it didn't

Because the wee's not flammable It's not Well after the Spice Girls concert You weed on your shoe I weed on my shoe behind the bus stop. Lovely. Classy. Yeah.

Since having Robin, obviously my pelvic floor is knackered. So I wee all the time. Oh, you wee mid-conversation. Yeah. Trampoline parts. I've been trying to work on it and it is getting a lot better. But I was at my St my strictly party the other week um bent down to get into the bottom of the wine fridge had a little wee i'm not even joking rosa you're right

i'm just so excited for this wine oh it's a pinoc I swear to God, squatted down, a little bit of weight came out. Just not enough to change your pants, but enough to feel uncomfortable. Not enough to change your pants? What do you mean not enough to change your pants? Well, I hadn't soaked through. I had jeans on. Oh, my God. But it wasn't enough to have to go and change them,

but it was enough to just be away for the rest of the night that I'd had a little trickle. Of course it was enough to change them you animal. I was in my house as well. Of course you literally could have walked upstairs and changed your neck. Honestly. Unbelievable. There was probably bloody sand in there as well wasn't there? Probably.

And that's it. The end of another episode. Thank you so much for listening. We appreciate it so much. We just appreciate you guys. We'll call that the urine episode because that was ridiculous. I know. Sorry about that. Heavens above. A lot of wee.

I need a wee actually. Do you want to finish this? Guys, if you want to get in touch with anything we or we not related, shagmoudanoid at gmail.com. Thank you so much for listening. I'm on tour next year. Tickets are on sale. chanoid at gmail.com. Thank you so much for listening. I'm on tour next year. Tickets are on sale, chrisramseycomedy.com.

The first leg is almost completely sold out. The second leg is on sale now. And I'm on Strictly, guys. Please watch the show on Saturday. Please vote. Vote and opens as the show finishes. If you go bbc.com slash Strictly, you can vote three times for free as well. It's buy from me and buy from literally my wife,

who is the other side of the room, opening the door on her way to the toilet. Go on, get yourself away. I'll sign off. Unbelievable. Bye. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Jimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder, April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit tso.ca. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th, when the Toronto Rock

hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game, and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com.