Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 38. Buttery Beef

Episode Date: November 1, 2019

On this week's podcast Chris and Rosie discuss surviving Halloween week on Strictly and how Chris's bottom has got bigger #glutesfordays There is some exquisite beef that gets Rosie raging and some brilliant questions from the public. As well as all of this the fabulous and fierce Michelle Visage sends in this week's celebrity question. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for?

Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. No, no, don't. The First Omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil. Movie of the year. It's not real.

It's not real. It's not real. Who said that? The First Omen. In theaters Friday. Get tickets now. Hello. You're listening to Shag Married Annoyed with me, Rosie Ramsey, and my husband, Chris.

Nah, I can't believe it either. Ramsey. Thank you for your unwavering support. It really means a lot. We actually know... Chris, you got past Halloween week. It's crazy. You got past... You are still in the competition. It's been seven weeks. I know. This is ridiculous.

Ridiculous? I'm furious. in the competition it's been seven weeks this is ridiculous ridiculous I'm furious we did not plan that this would go on as long yeah we are squeezing in this podcast

and I'm raging we are I mean I've just I've just fell asleep I've not put in the bed you fell asleep put in the bed we literally have

like an hour to do this yeah no time at all yeah at all because you're you're dilly dancing on the bbc i'm not happy these guys aren't happy hey the listeners should be ashamed of yourself the

listeners are happy and i just want to double triple quadruple million times thanks all of you beautiful sma smart listeners um for voting because i know a lot of you've been voting you've been tagging us in in and on Twitter and stuff. Really do appreciate you voting for me and Karen every week. Keep it up, because I tell you what, I don't think the judges want me there, but you guys do. I mean, they definitely don't want you there. But this is going to sound like a total, what's the word,

opposite of what I've just said. But if you could just vote to stay in this weekend and next, because my mum and my sister are coming with me unbelievable and my sister is like the hugest fan ever and it's her birthday

and she's really desperate to go so if you don't mind just a couple more weeks please because if he if he goes out of the competition and she doesn't get to go

brilliant I don't know what she's going to do this is awful that's awful what I can't believe this is happening you know I could probably still get her a ticket

if I was out. I know, but it would be more exciting if you were there. I mean, well, could you if you weren't in it as well? Possibly, yeah. Because we are going to London for our birthday anyway, so we're going to be there. Great. Could you actually?

Well, I mean, yeah. I mean, I'd rather not, but yeah. I mean, I don't want that to be the whole reason. Well, listen, I want you to win, but I've got other favourites, so it would be nice to watch them as well. Yeah, I mean, you know,

your mum and your sister and you, I'm sure you'd all bloody love to go and watch Calvin so that's absolutely fine. I mean... Great.

Absolutely great. I'm not... Listen. No, I'm not going to say it. I'm not going to say who I prefer. Right, okay. Who do you prefer?

The professional dancers. Oh, I don't blame you I do not blame you Homina homina homina Oh goodness me Yeah Oh the meat You go weak in the knees

I know Weak in the knees And I just want to say Oh sorry I'm saying a lot I don't mean to But Still the intro this by the way

Well Haven't even done my look at a sponsor Makes an award What's in between Little jingle Little jangle Little jingle jangle Little jangle Yeah jingle jangle um yeah as a outsider yeah to the whole thing yeah you know how people love strictly and they

watch it every year and they really get invested and you're watching you really like everyone in it just want to tell everyone i've met most of them and they're all bloody lovely they are annoyingly lovely like it's not annoying to me it's like thank god they're all really nice because it's really hard watching a programme every week and thinking they're lush

and they're meeting them in real life and they're all a bunch of dicks but they're not they're all absolutely lush yeah they're absolutely lush

they're a pleasure a pleasure to work with they are pleasure to work with they're all a bit too good for me if I'm honest they're all very good

why couldn't I have why couldn't I have been in an Ann Widdicombe year eh Ann Balls year eh why have I got to be with these bloody

flash dancers eh these bloody semi-pros are you the joke of the show oh I definitely am the joke of the show someone tweeted us that you are the joke of Strictly

I was like dude me whole life's a joke I'm not bothered well you're a comedian so that's what you're doing but you're not actually though I think they put you in thinking

oh right you're too left feet because you were terrible and you've done really well so they're devastated to be fair they're like right where's the joke

not delivering on the initial investment even Mike's doing really well Mike's brilliant isn't he so they're screwed there is no joke this year Mike's got a new bum as well you know he's got a new bum

has he now oh I've got myself a new bum Mike's got one I was walking up the stairs behind him the other day I thought whoa hello little Mike bum show hello there

little tight arse Mike Bushell. His has got smaller. Yours has got bigger. Well, you know. Yours is massive now. Is it? Oh, God. It's good, though.

Like a squatter bum. A squatter's bum. Glutes. Somebody didn't miss leg day. Glutes for days. Now, rambling. And I know there is the odd person out there who doesn't watch Strictly, so apologies for the rambling, but it is quite...

Nah, nah. It takes over your full life. I'm going to talk about it. We're going to talk about it if you don't like it. Stop listening. But before we start, obviously, apologies on the delay. It is time for this week's lucrative, lucrative sponsor. Genuinely thought you'd forgot.

Got a bit excited. No, never going to put me off. This week's sponsor is setting off fireworks in your garden when it's not even November the 5th. Chick heads. Pillocks. Inconsiderate. 4th of November, no. 6th of November, no. You want to bring that shit out on the

1st of November, you better pack that in. Get it back in the box. I'm alright for fireworks, I'll be honest with you. I'm 100% okay for fireworks. I enjoy Nah A put together Scheduled

Show Nah I do You wouldn't even catch me At one of them I'd close the curtains If there was a massive If there was a multi

I shut up I'm serious Shut up Rosie if there was a Multi million pound Like you know the one They do at London Over the river at New Year

If that was outside I'd shut the curtains If that was outside my window I'd shut the curtains. If that was outside my window, I'd shut the curtains. Bollocks to it. Pointless. You are such a wanker. Everyone's standing there.

Oh. Ah. Oh. You're not seeing CGI. You're not seeing Avatar. You're not seeing the things we can do now. You don't need to watch it.

It's mental. Oh, don't. I like looking at fireworks, but the crappy ones that people put off in the gardens, get on me tits. For me, yeah. For me, though, still, right,

until we can do that one that Gandalf does at the beginning of Lord of the Rings, where it goes up in the air and it turns into a dragon and it comes back down. It's not going to happen. Until we can do that, I'm not asked. I'm absolutely not asked. I think that's magic.

And guys listening, I know you're all going to send me that video that was on Ladbible or whatever recently of like a fucking million pound firework that went up and exploded all over the sky. Bollocks. Well, I'd like to see that. Oh, God. Do you know how expensive fireworks are? Yeah.

They are so expensive. The hotel I used to work in, in Rhodes, they did like a manager's cocktail every once a week, I think, or once every two weeks. Someone told me they did like a little fireworks display, like 600 quid. 600 quid to god it's so expensive the big ones hey hey bloody burning money yeah literally yeah burning money burning them um yeah yeah i i don't agree with you much but i agree with you on that but i wouldn't shut the curtains and i don't think you would i think that's a stupid thing to say and actually right okay there you go let's see

if there's any fireworks and I'll say to Robin Robin come and have a look oh the

Westall rugby club's got the fireworks on come out the window I'll not let you look I'll tell you

you can go and stand over there I'll shut the curtains I'm not bothered I'll shut the curtains you're a

pillow you're a pillow I don't know what it is you know ever since I was a kid I've hated

fireworks displays well you're terrified when my mum and dad took us to one and I just screamed crying the whole time Robin doesn't You would kill it. You would kill it. I don't know what it is, you know. Ever since I was a kid, I've hated fireworks displays. Well, you're terrified and that's why. When my mum and dad took us to one and I just screamed crying the whole time.

Robin doesn't like them either. I'm not scared of them anymore. I'm just annoyed by them. Yeah, you still scare them. That's not... Come on. Come on. Don't.

Rosie, there's a firework behind me now, isn't there? I'll go in the jungle. Should we even bother playing the jingle should we record a different intro

because this is craziness no this is like an eight minute intro excuse me who owns this podcast whose podcast is this

yeah mine ours no that was the intro that's the long intro no because we listen to the intro back

we always listen to it back before we do the rest of the thing people are desperate for this jingle no they're absolutely not they're probably sick of it back. Well, we're not today. People are desperate for this jingle. No, they're absolutely not. They're probably sick of it. Can you hear that? They're banging on the door.

They're knocking the door down for this jingle. That's next door's violence. Get the curtains. Shut the curtains. Quick. Here's the jingle. There we go. We had a fight about the jingle.

Jingle. We couldn't settle on a jingle. Jingle. So this is the jingle, jingle. We couldn't settle on a jingle, jingle. So this is the jingle, jingle. We hope you like the jingle, jingle. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Jingle! Hello. Hello.

Is it me you're looking for? Welcome back. Do you know what I heard in the gym today? When I was stretching Oh Were you at the gym? I only go to the gym to stretch I only go to the gym to stretch

So we'll do the training in one room Then I go to the gym in the next room And they've got like this torture rack that you stretch on Great I heard Hello from the other side The side I don't think I've ever heard that song until today

It was really good What? Adele? Yeah It was a really good song. Right. I know what you're going to say. I've only ever heard snippets of it. So it started and it's like, hello,

something, something, but it's quite quiet and it's like chilled and I thought, what song is this? I thought, is this that other side song? And it was and that's the first time I'd heard it from the beginning. Tell you what, she'll go the first time I'd heard it from the beginning. It's a, tell you what, she'll go for her. I'm sorry, but I cannae be listening to this.

Adele, Hello From The Other Side, that's an absolutely epic song. It was amazing. I loved it. Really, really enjoyed it. You should be ashamed of yourself. I'd never heard it from the start. Oh, jeez.

I'd never heard it. Do you know why? Why? Because all you listen to is 80s music hey don't slag off the 80s it's the weirdest thing

in the world you listen to absolute 80s every single day and they just play the same songs all the time I think you'll find

there's a no repeat guarantee work day no repeat guarantee so they don't play the same songs all the time yeah but 7 days a week I can guarantee there'll be a couple of little tricky

repeats in there yeah well it's no repeat during that day but then I think they'll play the same playlist the day after. Thank you, Absolute Radio. Not an ad hashtag, no sponsor. Feel free to do it if you want.

But anyway, for now. I'd ask you what you've been going on with, but the intro was flipping 10 minutes long. We know what I've been going on with, guys. Just to touch it one more time. Thank you for voting. Thank you for all that. Vote on Saturday.

We'll love it. This week, let's get ready, ready, let's get ready, ready, let's get ready to rumble. That'll be awesome.

Well done. You've just seen a little video, haven't you? I did. It was very good. Let's do the dance. Very good. I'm not talking about Strictly anymore.

Right. No more. Some people don't even watch Strictly. That's it. Some people are watching X Factor. They're not, they're not. Line drawn underneath it.

Not this year, they're not, baby. So yeah, what have you been up to, sweetheart? Oh gosh. Not much really, they're not, baby. So yeah, what have you been up to, sweetheart? Oh gosh, not much really, but actually loads. Does that make sense? It's not much in the, like, because normal people have a job or whatever. My job is so random that I'm just

constantly answering emails and doing stuff on my phone and going places and there's no actual structure to it. So it's just, I've just been at work or I've been with you. We went to London. We did. We had a little London date. We had a little London date.

Well, we didn't really see each other because I was at meetings and you were practicing. But we did a takes two together. You met Catherine and Johannes. Yes, I was there. You met Mike and Katya. I did, yeah. The makeup ladies,

big shout out to the makeup ladies at a takes two. We know that you listen. They told me they were fans of you. Now, I love to see this, right? Because people get excited when they meet you because it's like people are seeing what I see. Do you know what I mean? What do you mean? Well, when people say they love watching you and they think you're funny and everything,

they're seeing what I see, what I've seen the whole time I've known you. How brilliant and funny you are. How gorgeous and funny and brilliant. Do seeing what i see what i've seen the whole time i've known you how brilliant and funny you are how gorgeous and funny and brilliant do you know what i mean i don't like you know i don't like giving you compliments um on air thanks um i warned you that the makeup ladies might be a bit excited to see you just in passing i've never seen anything like the reaction when you walked in the door it must be like when you know these people who dress up as Elsa go to little girls 7th birthday parties

it was up there with that they were so lovely it was mental they literally ran out and screamed and they all grabbed you and they were like the two of them

had a hold of you and they were jumping up and down screaming and you just joined in you started screaming as well I just went I enjoy and I just walked in

people were like coming through they thought something terrible was happening. It must have sounded like someone had been set on fire. I just got excited. It was lovely to see. It was absolutely lovely. It was lovely to meet you. I loved it.

Your guys. Loved it. I sent you a lovely text the other day. Saying what? Oh, is that of the pigs? What was it? It was just a random one. There was just a photo was just random on Twitter.

It was just a photo of Radio X or something. Someone had it, or XFM or whatever it was. Someone had a pig in the studio doing a radio interview, and I just sent you a photo of it saying, stop doing promo without me. Wow. Was it covered in chocolate? It wasn't, but you got the idea.

It was a lovely little pig. Lovely little pig. Looked like a Lancashire pig. I do like pigs. That's why I'm not that offended. Pigs used to be my favourite animal. Did they? What's your favourite animal now?

It's weird as an adult. I think someone genuinely someone asked me my favourite colour recently and I was like what the fuck are you talking about I'm 33

have you not got a favourite colour not really have you got a favourite colour do you know my favourite colour is on Instagram it's the pink one

that you can turn a little bit grey Jesus that's my favourite colour that's so specific that's so ridiculously specific other than that probably

a blue a nice blue but not blue blue like a nice blue like what my pictures are and like my elephants over like that kind of blue but I don't know

I don't know like I'd have to be really boring here and say that my favourite colour is probably like a cream oh hey fucking hell this is

do you know what I mean this is shocking I would what I mean this is shocking I would not listen to this podcast I'd have switched this shit off oh do you listen to that

it's shocking I'm very annoyed what did they talk about this week their favourite colour no but your favourite what I'm saying is right

your favourite colour it's like it's dependent on what you're talking about do you know what I mean oh what's your favourite colour oh I love red.

Or do you want a massive, big, fuck-off sofa that colour then? Absolutely not. Do you want your car that colour? No, I'm alright. But my car's black, but my favourite colour's not black. You're just talking about you. Robin loves red. Right.

He'd have a red sofa. He'd have red everything. Yeah. Some people love pink. Some people have pink houses. Some people love yellow and have yellow cars. Who's got pink houses? We know someone who's got a yellow car.

Who's got a yellow car? Sean Ray. Oh, yeah, Sean's got yellow and have yellow cars. Who's got pink houses? We know someone who's got a yellow car. Who's got a yellow car? Sean Ray. Oh, yeah, Sean's got a minging yellow car. Big shout out to Sean. Your car's minging still. It's so yellow. I still owe him a... I think it's dead, that car.

I think he killed it. I think it died. Oh. I still owe him a new clutch. Rip. He let us have a turn of it once and I think really you could smell the clutch because I was driving an automatic.

I was like, I don't know what to do. You're a moron. What else has been going on? Oh, shit, I don't know. What? Just in case there's anything else. Oh. Oh, we've started watching Downton Abbey.

Right. Now, what you've done, Rosie, is you've made a massive error here. Why? Never, ever tell the general public that you are watching something that everyone else has already seen because they'll just tell you the end

because they're dicks oh no yeah you've made a say I'm currently watching something on Netflix that people saw years ago it was around about the same time as Lost and things like that

it's not Lost I've seen it I'm never going to say it just tell me a secret I can't carry on unless you tell us because what'll happen is you'll not tell us and then later on I'll be like

and I'll think I meant to ask him something and I'll not remember and it'll drive us to a grave. To my grave. So just whisper us. I can't. I'll whisper off the mic.

Right. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Right, okay. Thank you. Okay. It's prison break. Tasha!

Chris is watching prison break. Oh, man. Tweet him. Direct message. No, don't. Oh, no, don't. Okay, sorry. You're actually going to get upset about this.

Someone did it with Boardwalk Empire, and I was absolutely good. I was on the last two episodes of Boardwalk, the last three episodes, I think, of Boardwalk Empire, and it was after I'd done that. Remember when I did that pizza on a train? I got a pizza delivered to a moving train.

Oh, that was good for you. Well, I forgot forgot to get i forgot to take my headphones once and i tweeted out going look i'm on this train does anyone have any spare headphones because they didn't have any in the little daft shop on the train and uh it's not that daft it's quite a nice shop well yeah well i tweeted i tweeted it out i tweeted it out and uh one person one absolute prick just tweeted back oh this person kills this person, that's the end and I just read it and went, oh I was, and I thought I bet that's not the end, and it was literally the final

seat, like I was, honestly Do you want to edit that bit out then? Do you know what it is? Listeners, I trust you I trust you, and I'll tell you what happens in prison break, I trust you because there's loads going on anyway, like it's a mad it's utterly ridiculous it's like a farce it's good and i am enjoying it it's such easy watching it's such easy watching but the crap that happens in

it like there's a cliffhanger every 15 minutes like it's crazy there's three cliffhangers an episode and then one at the end it sounds good it's decent but it's very much like like you know of that ilk yeah of like the Dan you know a Dan Brown book

at the end of every chapter there was like a and you had to like keep going it's very much of that kind of pattern well that's good just keep you going

but Downton Abbey just loving it I was watching because my friend Steph absolutely loved it and she's for years been banging on about it and I've never sat down and got into it.

And then I was watching the first episode of the first series and I was halfway through and then you came in and I was like, can I please just, can I just watch the end? Because I was like,

I'm really enjoying it. And you normally hate stuff like that and you were like, yeah, just watch the end. You were like, I've got to catch up on some emails. So I was sat there and you were like, who watch the end you were like I've got to catch up on some emails so I was sat there and you were like

who's that what's going on there slowly just put your phone down like alright okay yeah yeah yeah and then it got to the bit where it was like oh that's Fairy Cross and Mercy

that's Fairy Cross and Mercy that's Game of Thrones it was the end it was the end and then it's like next episode and you just look at me and you were like

get it on I was like better than sex get it on it's really good i really do like doubt nabby it's like easy watching and it's just really it's just nice and i love that because sometimes we watch such intense like programs which is great but you go to bed and you're like oh god remember we're talking about here we watched that bloody Michael Jackson documentary. And we had to quickly go on. Oh, I had to turn that off. We had to quickly go on.

We watched it just before bed. And I was like shell-shocked. Didn't we quickly go on to like Challenge TV or something and watch three old episodes of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire to sort of cleanse my palate? Yes. Yeah, we had to, yeah. Because it was just too much to go to bed on.

Oh, goodness me. Dreams were shattered that day. Jesus. But yeah, I love Downton Abbey. Do you know what I love? What? I don't want to noise you how much I love it. I just love that every time it just cuts to the Lord,

the main guy, these little Labradors just running around with him. That is a very cute dog. Just like constantly just chilling out somewhere. Amazing. Can you hear that? Fireworks outside. What's the date?

Fucking bellends. It's the 30th of October. 30th of October. And some wanker in a garden near here is setting off fireworks. Five to nine. Utter prick.

Utter prick. Listen. If they wake Robin up, I'm going to take him round. I'm going to take him round, give him a pack of Skittles and just leave him there. Wherever that is.

And say, listen, have a lovely night. I think that honestly, if you gave him a pack of Skittles and left him at someone's house with all the E numbers

and sugar and the Skittles I think to get rid of him they'd have to strap him to a firework and fire him back I wonder bye something really annoying

started happening yeah Robin's at that age now he's just turned four where if you think if you say it to him right you can get a little treat from him right you can get a little treat from the shop

you can get something little from the shop yeah do you know how long he takes to chew something really I haven't experienced this oh my god

well once upon a time it was just like you would say right you're getting that and then he'd go right no bother now oh my

oh god I wish I never bothered the woman in the shop when I was there today was just like, this kid. Get out. It took so long, to the point where I had to start counting down from 10. I was like, 10, 9, 8.

And he started crying. He's like, I don't know. I don't know what I want. Just picking up random packets. In the end, he got a Kinder Egg, right? And we left. And then he got halfway down the road and he was like, I don't want this.

I was like, no. But bless him, I felt terrible. Like I'd put loads of pressure on him. Because you're hard, you bitch. I know. So then I took him back. And then he took just as long to pick something again. I was like, oh my God.

Bless him. Well, it's the phrase isn't it a kid in a sweet shop he didn't know what he wanted he was too excited it was and it was one of them it was an exciting sweet shop it wasn't just like

a few things was it the red shop it was the red shop the red shop yeah he loves the red shop at heart and it was just

there was just loads of stuff but loads of it was too old so he was like can I have this and it was like the brain thing that you lick

I was like you can't have that like no you can have like you can have a kinder egg or a freddo or something no you cannot have a packet of haribo sours put them back was this why when you came to the training room with him today to see me and karen was this why he had like a massive bag of round trees oh well that was well because that was the compromise I was like you can get that packet it was like round trees fruit things I was like you can get that but the kinder egg back

because you're killing it yeah put that back you can have that and you've got to share them around everyone's I knew that the film crew and that were there so I was like you can share them and honest to God right you tell right there that packet was like a big pack of sweets they were like 150 and a kinder egg the woman actually said don't worry about the price difference just I think she was like just get out so we just swapped them and she was genuinely like don't worry about it wow she was that sick i think she was that sick of us she was just like get out he was lovely he offered them around everyone he gave them the filming guys

he gave him a karen he gave him to me um and then oh he's little what? when he came and did his little dance oh did he? wasn't he cute? he's definitely our kid like he is definitely our kid so basically he does a little dance to Gangnam Style that they do at nursery and there's a film crew there obviously Karen's there he doesn't really know Karen

you know he's seen her on the telly he's only met her twice and obviously you're there and my mum and dad are there and we did our dance And he watched it And then I just went Do you want to do your dance? And he went Yeah And he just stood in the middle of the hall

With everyone watching With the guys filming him And did the full Gangnam Style dance And I did it with him Honestly I was nearly crying I was so happy I just love him He's just like

He's just knocking the full thing out Doing the lot It was amazing He's great No fear No It's time for Watch Your Beef Watch Your Beef Watch Your Beef thing out, doing the lot. It was amazing. He's great. No fear. Nah. It's time for What's Your Beef?

What's your beef? What's your beef? What's your beef? What is your beef? Tell you what, I'll see you in court. Okay, ladies or gentlemen first, what do you want? I forgot what mine is. You forgot it? No, I've remembered.

Hold on. No, bollocks. Are you finally running out? No. No, I've remembered. Hold on. Because I've got loads. No, bollocks. Are you finally running out? No. You are. No, there's always something. Are you ready? I want to do mine first. Okay, ladies first. Go.

Just recently, whenever we're out together, might be in a hurry for something, if it's just me and you, you start walking in front of us. You walk in front of us at least a few paces ahead of us, like you're not even with us. Right. I find it really upsetting.

Are you referring to the train station the other day? Yes. Right. I get a little bit antsy in train stations. I know you do. Well, that's another beef, so let's not go into that, because that's a separate beef. Right, okay.

But at the minute, I'm just concentrating on the whole, you will just walk ahead of me. Right. And then every so often often look around just to check that i'm okay right what's what's that all about are you ashamed to be next to us i think it's got something to do with when i'm holding bags i don't do it when we're walking anywhere else it's when i'm holding bags well that's another one of me i don't want you to delve into that no no well what what the bag keep taking me bags off right that cannot be a beef that I keep offering to carry your bags.

No, it's infuriating. Really? Because I'm not a 95-year-old woman. I can carry me own bags. Chris. Chevalry. I'm telling you right now, there will be ladies listening to this podcast absolutely mortified that you are passing up the chance for a gentleman

to squire you through the train station while carrying your bag. Oh, yeah. There you go. There's me bags. Walk seven paces ahead of us, will you? Aye, man. Naff off. Carry me own bloody bags.

You know why I carry me own bags? Why? Well, because once when I went shopping in Newcastle, my sister was like, I'll carry that bag. Got a new pair of shoes. She carried the bag of shoes because I don't think she'd bought anything

and I'd bought a couple of things. She carried me shoes, went for dinner, she left me flipping shoes in the shop. I got all the way home and I had to go back and get them. So I don't trust people because when it's not your bag, you don't know that you're like, you just, it's an extra bag so you're not really thinking

about it. But Rosie, you are forgetting the fact that I would rather lose any of my things than lose something of yours and have to deal with all of the shit you'd give us for losing your thing. Much rather. I'd rather leave all my stuff. You'd give me more shit if I lost one of your bags. No, definitely.

What's in the bag, hypothetically, in this situation? A laptop. I'd go fucking off it, yeah. You would? Because it's the kind of thing you do. You'd go off it if it was a pack of crisps. Oh, you've left half a pack of crisps in the cupboard. Can I go and get them? You can have them after this but what an amazing thing to say.

Can I have one now? No, you can't because they're salt and vinegar squares and they're very loud. Right? And I've just realised there's a Twix in there as well and I'm going to have that.

Right, I'm sorry I walked in front of you. I'm going to try to stop doing it and look, hey, if you're telling me now you don't want me to carry your bags, that's absolutely fine. People hey, if you're telling me now, you don't want me to carry your bags, that's absolutely fine.

People listening, if you see us walking through a train station, and she's shuffling along with shit loads of bags, and I'm just sauntering along with nothing in me hands, I'm not a prick, she hasn't let us carry them. End of. Fact.

Happy days. Don't want you carrying me bags. I've got all my boyfriend's telephone numbers in there. Is that what it is? Well, you've got a phone. You just keep little bits of paper in a bag. It's like all just on different bits of A4 paper. Name, photo, number.

Like personnel files? Yes. Right. Full of them. Great. You really should switch to digital. It would save you a lot of time. I know.

I've thought about it, but... iCloud backup, maybe? We'll see. Right. Good. Dickhead. You're more than a number in my little red book. You're more than a one night stand.

When am I going to get a job singing professionally, properly, on Strictly? Okay. Jesus. professionally properly on strictly anyway my beef yes your beef my beef with you this hang on i'm just you look so excited and you've said to me that you had a really good beef so i'm intrigued i mean i'm i'm just excited to see what your reaction is right right my beef with you this week and i've i've noticed this for quite a while now um it's it's it's it's reoccurring i've never said anything because it's always a lovely favor you're doing is when it happens right oh god but you rosie ramsey you cannot butter toast are you kidding are you actually you cannot butter toast what am I doing wrong why couple of things

you're either you're essentially it looks like you've tried to fucking headbutt through it it looks like you've tried to dig your way through the bread

to the plate and then there's just big massive clumps of unmelted butter all over the toast don't like butter and then the corners have got no butter on

great it's you can't butter toast alright then look forward to buttering all your own toast for the future now you can And then the corners have got no butter on. Great. You can't butter toast. All right, then. Look forward to buttering all your own toast. Oh, but you see, I knew this would happen. Now you can absolutely... You have shot yourself in the foot, young man.

Butter your own toast. I'm out of here. Do you not just fancy buttering it a bit better? Right. Can we just... This is coming from a man who just clearly has more time than me. Right.

Because you will plan your breakfast, you'll get the butter out, you might leave it to just melt a little bit. Yeah. When I'm buttering toast, I'm probably buttering somebody else's toast at the same time. Maybe mine as well, making the family's meals. Right. How dare you? How absolutely dare you? Do you know how many meals I make for you? How absolutely dare you?

Do you know how many meals I make for you, you ungrateful little shit? I just love the fact that certain things like this you get really offended by. I'm raging. Today, let's just clarify, right? Today, oh, you're going to set me off today. Today, I made you this morning a cheese omelette with toast and beans. You did. Yeah.

Thank you. It was lovely. I made you a ham salad sandwich and I brought it to training with a pack of crisps and a Twix. You did. Uh-huh. How dare you? Hey, I'm not saying it's not nice.

You had the audacity, speaking of butter, here's another beef. You had the audacity to go into the fridge when you were making yourself some soup and bread, you carb fiend, you fat prick. You had the audacity to say to me, there's no butter. I could use fucking pie and all that. Because I'd used it on your sandwich that I made for you and took to the training and then I hadn't had the time to go to the shops. How dare you.

Rude. You're rude. I'm livid. I don't know if I can do any more. Candied butter toast. You can't. I won't be. I won't be I won't be mister

Guess what me and Ravna Are having for breakfast tomorrow What Tones Aye What with the empty Bidding thing of butter There's no butter

Where are you going to go All night asda And get some butter are you I might I might genuinely go after this Get yourself away I will Get yourself a bag of crystals

I'm having that half From the packet Stop it Why are we fighting We're not. You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking

Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Gimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder, April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit tso.ca.

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Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. This Friday. You must be very careful, Margaret. It's a girl. Witness the birth. Bad things will start to happen. Evil things.

Of evil. It's all. No, no, don't. The first omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six.

It's the mark of the devil. Movie of the year. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. Who said that? The First Omen. In theaters Friday.

Get tickets now. It's time for questions from the public. Public. As usual, you... Oh, good. Yeah, good. Lovely. As usual... Stop it.

I'm not finished. Oh, gosh. Go on, I'm finished. You know what it is? Why are you holding me back? Is this your Strictly Band audition? This is me. Do you want to hear me Strictly Band audition?

Come on, then. You want to be somebody and you want to go somewhere you better wake up and pay attention it's a 10 from me thank you as usual if you want to get in touch it's shagmoudinoid

at gmail.com. Send us your questions, send us your thoughts, send us your hopes, send us your dreams, send us your office polls. Send us your questions about people weighing in your mouth. That got a lot of response. It did. Let's try and keep them kind of questions to a minimum.

I enjoy them. Keep them coming. They were amazing. Keep them coming, you absolute sickos. Hi, Rosie and Chris. Great podcast. Any chance of a midweek short bonus podcast to keep us going until Friday?

No. We'd love to, but we have not got time. Okay, my question is as follows. I recently had sex for the first time outdoors with my wife of over six years. What is wrong with everyone? Why are you all doing weird? Stop it.

You've not got homes? You've not got a couple of quid for a hotel? Travel lodge is about 25 quid if you book it in advance. What's wrong with you? Why are we all pissing in people's mouths and shagging outside like animals and having foursomes? Stop it.

On a Wednesday. On a Wednesday. People, please. Come on then. He had sex with his wife for the first time in six years, outdoors. Yeah. Obviously, it was in a remote rural area under the cover of darkness, so there was practically no chance of us getting busted with our pants down.

Sounds romantic. Idiots. How embarrassing would that be if you got caught? Be like, so what's your name? Mr. and Mrs. Such and Such. Oh, so you're married? Yeah, how long? Four, six years?

Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. It's not a dalliance. You're not cheating. You've left your house to come and have sex outside somewhere. Do you know what? You're all,

same as dead bodies, always found by dog walkers. It would be a bloke walking his dog who would catch you. Yeah. The dog would be gutted. You wouldn't know where to look. You must have had sex outside before though.

No. Never ever? No, I don't think so. No. Oh, I have. God damn have had sex outside before, though. No. Never ever? No, I don't think so. Oh, I have. God damn you. I know, but I was young. What's wrong with everyone? It was very exciting, and we'll be doing it again.

Oh, God. No, do you know what? It's good for them. They're not doing any harm. No, not good for them. No, stop it. I hope you fall over, and I hope you graze your bum. I hope you graze your bum on the floor.

And I hope you get dog poo when you're funny. I couldn't say that with a stereo. Imagine dog poo when you're funny. If you hear a noise, it's just the robot coming to clean it up. Watch the flag. Have you ever had outdoor sex? And is it something that you would do? So Chris never has, I have.

I'll be too worried, I think. I'm married for now, though. That's the thing. And my automatic thought goes to just, we live in England, like it's very hard to judge the weather. Yeah. In the winter, it would be awful. Horrible. And then in the summer, it gets colder on a night

and I just don't think it would be that good. It doesn't get dark till really late. I think, is it not the excitement of being caught or something that's making them do that? That they're enjoying it so much, the excitement of possibly being caught, of someone coming past or whatever. It's like, oh, we're outside, we're so naughty.

But then, don't you think the excitement of being caught when you're six years into a marriage, and I'm guessing there must be, you know, our age, doesn't the excitement of being caught when you're six years into a marriage, and I'm guessing there must be, you know, our age. Yeah. Doesn't the excitement of being caught kind of mixed with the, I might lose my job? Possibly. Over this. Yeah.

That excitement would disappear for me. It's not like when you're 20 year old. Yeah. Having sex outside and just being like, fuck it. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Young, experiencing life. When you're that old, what have they got, kids?

Like, literally, it's illegal. Yeah. Is it illegal? What do you get for it, do you know? I mean young experiencing life when you're that old what have they got kids like literally it's illegal yeah is it illegal what do you get for it do you know I don't I mean it probably depends

what mood the police officer's in you might join in you never know well you never know I often think that I often think back in the day

I'm sure it's illegal well back in the day when you had to pay for wifi in hotel rooms but it was free in the lobby I often thought

I wonder what the fine is for public masturbation and just weighed up against that might be cheaper than the wifi in hotel rooms but it was free in the lobby I often thought I wonder what the fine is for public masturbation and just weighed up against that might be cheaper than the wifi in the room Oh hang on Law lords rule that sex in public is not illegal What? Have given the thumbs up to outdoor sex as long as couples

aren't trying to be seen What? What? Rosie. Rosie. Right. Let's finish this. Why have you told let's be honest, why have you told the armies of perverts that listen

to this that it's not illegal to have sex outdoors? What have you done? The emails we get from our listeners, let's be honest, some of you are absolute lunatics. You've just told them all that they're going to have sex outside and it's not illegal. Well done. They'll be in the garden,

they'll be on the lawn, they'll be all over the place. Yeah. Like I say, I've got nothing against people having sex outside. I'm just saying, at this time in my life, it's not for me.

Absolutely fine. Maybe we might do a 180 one day though. Give us another 10, 15 year. We might be having sex outside just as like oh nope

yeah but we're alright sex life is okay like it's not boring it's quite nice it's we still fancy each other it's enjoyable you don't know if that's

going to be happening in 10 years time if after 6 years they have to go and shag each other outside to still keep the get divorced get divorced

it's over it's not a long time that six years is it jesus christ heavens above do it get a tent it's technically outside oh i'd have sex in a tent i probably wouldn't either why i would never go in a tent why are people staying in tents tents caravans hostels stick them up your arse where you go oh i'm going away this weekend oh great where you go to a nice hotel now i'm going Caravans, tents, caravans, hostels. Stick them up your arse. Where you go, oh, I'm going away this weekend. Oh, great.

Where you go, a nice hotel. Now I'm going to essentially sleep in a bag for life on a fucking hill. You are so sheltered and sad. I am sheltered by bricks and fucking mortar, not sheds and fiberglass roofs. Rest my case. I've got another question here. Yeah. Just if anybody's listening to this in the car with children, this is about Christmas and Santa Claus.

Got you. Sometimes you never know. You know, guys. I mean, if you're still listening to this in the car with children after the last things we've talked about, you need your kids taken off you. Let's be perfectly honest. They'll not be listening. Come on. Come on then, what's this next question? Hi, Rosie and Chris.

I'm trying for a baby. Congratulations. Good luck. Me and my partner both already have kids from previous relationships. I'm a massive Christmas person and I'm all about Santa and the magic of it all. Awesome. chips i'm a massive christmas person and i'm all about santa and the magic of it all awesome however he is not and his kids do not believe in santa as they have been told he is not real i want my future baby to be like me and my son and to be raised with all the magic

how would you handle this oh that's a tough one you know well it just reminded me of when we had that builder yeah lad here yeah and he said that that's who i thought of yeah he what you you tell the story because he was talking to you yeah we had a builder here once and he was seeing yeah it was leading up to christmas and i said something about robin doesn't or isn't old enough to get santa or not yet but he will next year kind of thing and um he was like oh yeah i've just told my kids it's not real he's like no i just tell them because like we get them it we buy them it so we just tell them it's that and he was like, oh yeah, I've just told my kids it's not real. He's like, no, I'll just tell them because we get them it, we buy them it so we just tell them

it's that. And he was like, but the saddest bit was he was like, oh yeah, they keep getting told off at school for telling everyone else

that something's not real. And it's like, oh, you've got to, I don't like telling anyone what to believe but you've got to kind of play the game with kids.

Do you know what I mean? Well, do you know my thing on it, right? There's not many nice things in the world anymore not many little beautiful things you know and that's something that is so lovely and and now that we have a child it's just amazing now that you actually this is the first year he's really going to understand yeah and i cannot wait it's going to be magical i'm really excited for it to be fair well look what we did the other day we

did the dodie fairy the other day, didn't we? Oh, yeah. The Dory fairy's finally came for his dummies. Because he's still been sleeping with a dummy. He hasn't had one during the day for ages, but he still sleeps with one. But the other day, didn't we? We hung the little...

It was amazing. We hung the dummies on the tree. We hung the dummies on the tree and we said the Dory fairy are coming. Then we came back in the evening and there was a little bit of a... Leftgo thing didn't he his mind was absolutely blown because the dodie fairy left him lego i mean he's cried for a dummy every night since but i mean it almost hasn't worked um but i genuinely thought that he thought the dodie fairy took his doodies so

lovely man it's beautiful it really is. I remember when my little brother, he's only three years younger than me, but you know, when you're at that age, so I did stop believing in Santa when I was about 10, 11.

I think when you go, like, leave primary school, go to comp, that's kind of when it's like, it happens. Everyone finds out and whatever.

And I remember my brother still believed in Santa and me and my sister were like, going along with it like Kevin Santa's been like

winking at me mum and dad like yeah and it's just it's so nice it's so so nice so I think

going forward I think you need to put your foot down and say I would like my child to believe in Santa just get his kids get his kids to play along

get his two kids to play along I don't know how old your kids are his kids get his kids to play along get his two kids to play along I don't know how old your kids are as well but get them to play along with the new one and that'll be the fun of it exactly

play along wink wink yeah look Santa's he ate the cake and he gave Rudolph the carrot or whatever yeah I agree

I'm so excited for Christmas I know I am I love Christmas I'm buzzing for it got another quest John here. Hi Rosie and Chris. Hi. My husband and I have very different teeth brushing routines in the morning. He gets up and brushes his teeth straight away and then has his breakfast and a cup of tea. I think that's weird for two reasons. One, you're wasting a brush

surely. Bits of breakfast are then in your teeth unnecessarily for the start of the day and two, who wants the tea and toast to taste minty? I like to get up and eat my breakfast then get ready for work and brush my teeth right before I leave the house so I'm minty fresh for the general public. before I leave the house, so I'm minty fresh for the general public. What's your brushing situation? Pre or post breakfast? Do you enjoy a minty bowl of Cheerios?

Thanks. And that's from Sophie. Oh. I. I agree with her. When I was younger, because I totally agree with that. There's a right way to do it.

There's a perfectly right way to do it right she's not doing it and he's not doing it what no no there's another way to do it okay I used to have my mum used to read this

Noddy book when I was little right Noddy the little man with the red and yellow car ding ding dong Noddy in one of them

got out of bed for one day because he was so excited yeah brushed his teeth then he went downstairs and he had his breakfast then he went back upstairs, he brushed his teeth, then he went downstairs and he had his breakfast, then he went back upstairs and he brushed his teeth.

That's the correct way. What, brush them twice in the morning? Yeah, brush them, then go down, have your food, then brush them again. That's, no, why would you do that? I'm not saying I do it, I'm saying it's the right way. Noddy does that. You ever heard about Noddy having bad breath?

I haven't. You ever seen Noddy at the dentist? I haven't. Got the cleanest teeth in Toy Town. It's the strangest story I've ever heard.

I think she's got it the right way. Yeah, she's got it the right way. You can't be brushing your teeth and then having your breakfast. I've done it by accident

before and it's been awful. A cup of tea after brushing your teeth is disgusting. It's minging. Yeah, it's really, really minging. Plus, what are you doing in the night? Like, what are you doing? He's a secret eater.

Oh my God. He's getting up in the middle of the night. She doesn't know. He's getting up in the middle of the night and he's going eating loads of Twix's and Mars bars and that. That's why when he wakes up he immediately needs to brush his teeth

because he'll get all the sugar from the night off. No, I think... No, no. Some people just get into a routine where they brush them first thing and then have the breakfast and then go out for the day. So he's going out stinking of coffee and tea and baking

sandwiches or cereal or whatever? Well, right, I've got another element to this. Okay, here we go. Sometimes I don't have any breakfast at all. Yeah. So I'll get up, brush my teeth and then I'll go out and have breakfast. You're basically doing what he does? Yeah, but it'll be a little while later.

So it's kind of like... I love this. Minty fresh breath. Like, what, am I buying the wrong toothpaste? Because my mouth isn't minty fresh for that long. It's definitely not. It's about 20 minutes. No, do you know what I mean, though?

It's like 20 minutes and you're like, oh, that wore off. I remember I walked to school with a kid once who used to have his breakfast on the way to school I say breakfast it was like

Rice Krispie Squares and something else but I was like I was jealous of them kids yeah I was like why has your parents let you do that yeah

I remember I think the exact words I said to him was have you already brushed your teeth and he said yeah and I said but you've eaten them

and he went yeah and I said well you might as well have brushed your teeth with dog shit although I might have been exaggerating a bit I think you were

exaggerating a bit yeah well I think to be honest I brushed your teeth with dog shit. Although I might have been exaggerating a bit. I think you were exaggerating a bit. Yeah. Well, I think, to be honest, I think your mum might give you a bit of a complex with that naughty book. Washing, brushing your teeth about 12 times a day. Nice and clean, nice and clean. Naughty, naughty said. Naughty with his receding gums.

Brushing them away. Hello. Please help me settle something that comes up a lot. I feel that I am completely in the minority on this and I don't work in an office so I can't take a poll. Fantastic. That's a shame. When you're on a dual carriageway or motorway

and there are roadworks coming up and signs alerting you to a lane closing, do you... A. Start queuing in the lane that's remaining open immediately and wait forever. Or B. Continue using the lane that's going to close in 800 yards and merge in at the end. In my opinion, there are two lanes for a reason, and just put that in capital letters. Okay? I agree.

Every other country utilises both lanes. It is purely because we're British and capital letters. Okay. I agree. Every other country utilises both lanes. It is purely because we're British and we love to queue. I agree. When I do try to merge in at the end and I get beeped at

and not let, not in or given 50 filthy looks from other drivers. Yeah. That's from Liz from Bristol. Liz from Bristol, I 100% agree with you.

People who, it's happened before that one of the lanes was down on a dual carriageway coming into Shields from Newcastle way from White May, this will not before that one of the lanes was down on a dual carriageway coming into Shields from Newcastle way, from White May,

this will not mean anything to anyone who's not from here, but from White May Pooh roundabout all the way down and one of the lanes was shut and no one was using the closed lane

and the traffic backed up onto the roundabout and clogged up the roundabout and I just fly down the other one and I go right to the cones, right, and there'll be people

listening to this going, ah, dickhead, and people sit there watching and go, dickhead, it's not my fault you decided to queue when there was a full

empty lane there. If it says, lane closure in 800 yards, take that 800 yards of road and fucking use it. Yeah. You idiot. If you're listening to this now

and you are currently sitting in one of them queues and there's people going past you, them people going past you, they are winners. They are get-up-and-goers. They are taking the world

by the balls. You're an idiot me and jason kook had an argument about i'm getting really angry me and jason kook had an argument about this we're going to a gig once he was like why are you doing this he was like you're such a dick i was like how am i a dick it's open it says merge in turn it literally says merge in turn this is the turn not not you know merge in the lane god damn well listen i used to be one of them people who sat in the queue because that's just what I thought you should do

until I met you and you don't stay in the queue and now I no longer stay in the queue because you're totally right you're wasting

all that road if you weren't meant to be in that road it would have been coned off earlier but it's a British thing it's like manners and people feel bad

but you're totally right it's actually better driving if you're going to merge into the things you're using more of the space exactly

if the lane closes in 800 yards, use them 800 yards. If you weren't supposed to be in that lane from now, it would close now and not in 800 yards. There you go. I'm actually, I've hurt me back. I've been sitting up so straight to shout this. You've lost

a lot of followers now, probably. Don't care. You know why? I haven't even lost them. I've just went past them in the empty lane. Booyah. It's time for this week's celebrity question. Celebrity question. Thank you. And this week, it is from the wonderful, the sassy, the powerful, the incredible Michelle Visage. You better work.

Hey, Chris and Rosie, it's Michelle Visage. So, I have a question. And this is a question as old as time. Being the mother of two girls, or even just kids in general, despite the gender, what is the right age to start discussing sex, like actual sex? What's the right age? I think I might have started too young, just saying. Ooh, that's an interesting question.

It's a good question, isn't it? Thank you, Michelle. You're one of my favourites. You absolutely love her. I do. She's fab. And she's doing so well. She's so lovely.

I was scared about meeting her. I didn't think that you two would be as close as you are. We get on really well. You get on really well. And I didn't think you would be. But she obviously, I I mean she must love a bit of sarcasm yeah

which is you all over I'd love to take the piss out of her so yeah Dan I'll tell you that someone was in the dance off at some point in the last few weeks

I can't remember which one it was and they were literally standing doing the dance off and I lent it to Michelle and I went I wish it was you what did you say

I wish she was laughing her head off because I just punctured this sort of tension of the dance off and I was just like I wish it was you and she was just laughing her head off because I just punctured the sort of tension of the dance off and I was just like I wish it was you and she was pissing herself

yeah class right what age to start talking about sex it's a tricky one that it's something I'm dreading I don't think my mum and dad

ever taught me about sex I think I just found out off friends really mate that would answer a lot of questions

I I got when I was at junior school, there was a mate of mine. I'll not mention any names. Me and my best friend went to this lad's house who was a friend of a friend. And his mom and her boyfriend had a cupboard with loads of porn videos in. And we watched, I'm talking junior school. I'm talking how they have been young did they not have them out of sight or anything they were hidden in a cupboard oh there was also a vibrator

in there in a paper bag it was minging um and uh yeah they had like loads of like full-on like 80s porn videos and he used to and he used to put them on and it it was so... Now that I think back, it was so fucked up that we watched them at that age. So fucked up. Junior school. Junior school. That's rank. Mental.

So I'll have been eight or nine. Oh, that's so bad. So bad. And kids have got the internet now, so what the fuck does that... Well, that's another... We've talked about that before, man. Terrifying.

I think the correct time is probably like 11, 12 comp. And that, I think, is early. But now, the way the world is, I think you've got to... I would say a bit earlier than that. What? Oh, my God. Just in case. I know. Just in case, man.

There's kids having kids, man. It's terrifying. Oh, that's so sad. Did I not tell you that? For years and years and years and years until I was late in the juniors, I thought babies came out of a woman's bum. Why did you think they came out of a bum?

That was a bum? Mum told us. Your mum told you that babies come out of your bum? Yeah. What? Genuinely. Don't know like a poo yeah like it yeah you're pooing out a baby i mean it says tells you a lot about what my mom thought of me um but yeah genuinely um i think it was just embarrassment to not want to talk about vaginas maybe because i was just in the junior school because you not have just said the tummy i thought

babies just came out of, were just in tummies for a long time until I actually knew about vaginas. Yeah. I think, do you know what? I don't think I fully knew

about sex really. I think I pretended I knew about it for a long time and I think it was probably when I was about 13 or 14 that I actually fully knew about it.

Really? I'm not even joking. Wow. Like, I just think, yeah. And I think that was the same with a lot of my friends. I don't think anyone really, really fully knew the whole extent of it.

Like, I think you knew what it looked like and what people were doing, but you didn't know that, like, a penis went into a vagina or whatever. Like, yeah. And I, yeah, just didn't know, didn't know the full extent until quite late on on but then once i knew you know i've just remembered something right a phrase that stays with me i don't know why it stays with us i remember the way the kids said it i remember where we were when when he said it

and i remember how angry he was so i must have been uh i must have been nine, possibly nine, maybe eight. Right. And I was on my estate and there was a kid I knocked around with who was two years older than me. And me and him used to sort of play together, mainly on a Sunday, right? My granddad babysat me on a Saturday night and he fell asleep and I had the telly on.

And on the film, on the TV, two people were having sex, right? And I knew they were and i said to this kid this older kid i went oh it's on the telly last night it's a man and woman having sex on the telly right and he went and he said what did you see what what was it and i said oh they were like kissing and stuff and then they were like rolling around and like she had like a bra on like underpants on and he was there and the kid so angry. And I'll never forget the way he said it. It was so matter of fact. He literally went like this, right?

He went, that is not sex, Christopher. You have to be naked. I'll never forget the way he said it. That is not sex, Christopher. You have to be naked. He's had to accentuate it and everything. I'll never forget it.

It was in my garage where he said it. He was so pissed off. Bless him. I've got a question for you. Yeah. How old were you when you lost your virginity? 16. Legal, all legal.

Went to the police station. Applied for me sex license. License to sex. License to disappoint. 16. Good lad. What about you? I was 15 or 16.

Right. I've got to be honest with you. Right. My real name's not Chris. The whole thing, this whole marriage and everything has been a sham. This has been a sting operation.

Guys, guys, come on in. Stop setting them fireworks off outside. We've got her. She's admitted it. What? I'm sorry.

We've finally got her. I'm so sorry. Pervert. No. No, my boyfriend was the same age, so it's fine. That's all right.

So you are both? No, no. Both predators? Well, August the 30th, my boyfriend was the same age, so it's fine. That's all right. So you are both? No. Both predators? Well, August the 30th is my birthday, so I was the youngest in my year, so everyone was always a year older than us. Same, I'm August the 3rd. But do you know what? I held out.

You held well. I held out like a good boy. I mean, I feel like you're lying. Pussy. I think you're lying about 16. No, I was genuinely 16. I was seeing pictures of you. What?

When you were that age. All right. So you thought it was January 16th. I was seeing pictures of you. What? When you were that age. What? Oh, right. So you thought it was later than that. You thought it was later than that. Possibly. No, no, it was definitely 16th. Good for you. Well done. Well done me. Well done me. Hasn't had it since. Once. To make Robin.

Just like that. It's all over for another week thank you so much for joining us once again we absolutely adore you we really do we really do

keep getting in touch on social media guys it's lovely to hear from you and you know what you know what just bloody laugh in public will you just laugh on the bus

laugh walk on the dog don't give a shit what people think about you just laugh laugh and enjoy it and it means the world that you are enjoying this podcast

thank you so much if you want to get in touch it's shagmardinoid at gmail.com and yeah please vote for me and Karen on Strictly

and me too as on sale for next year and all that yes please vote because me my mum and my sister like I said are going

not this weekend but the weekend after and we'd really like to go obviously we'll still go if Chris isn't in and we'd really like to go obviously we'll still go if Chris isn't in but we'd really like to see Chris if he goes

that week we'll be there for moral support so like use your votes for the next two weeks maybe if you've run out of votes don't vote that

week just it's fine vote the whole time I'm in please oh hang on Black Pools the week after I'd really like to go to Black Pools Jesus Christ

right yes everyone just keep voting because Rosie wants a couple of weekends away yes please thank you I really appreciate it

love you you're not even kidding I'm not I'm genuinely not you're in it now just do it bye love you bye you're invited

to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Gimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder, April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall.

For tickets, visit tso.ca. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th, when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game. And you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com.