Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 43. Raging semi

Episode Date: December 6, 2019

The semi finals! Who'd have thought it? Chris and Rosie return to discuss all things Strictly plus there's a celeb question from Kelvin Fletcher. As well as this there are the weekly beefs, more than enough pooh based chat and some relationship advice. Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever?

Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Center for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Hello, you're listening to Shag Married Annoyed with me, Rosie Ramsey, and my husband. It's not even funny anymore.

Christopher Ramsey. How, how in God's name have you made it to the semi-finals of a dancing competition? Probably something to do with being one of the greatest dancers in Britain. Probably. I'm definitely, I've decided I'm definitely, right, and I'm going to'm definitely right and i'm gonna get this on you are you are i'm gonna get this on your headstone i'm definitely the best dancer north of weatherby services on the year one do you think yeah without a shadow of a doubt best dancer north of weatherby services and i'll fight anyone who says i'm not and by fight i mean dance off oh gosh i'd love to say that um yeah listen thank you can you feel the like a sarcastic

yeah because i'm furious at the same time yeah i mean hey no one's as surprised as me did you see my face man when they put us through me jaw hit my chest i didn't know my mouth could open that wide that was hilarious unbelievable. Unbelievable. I turned to Alex. I went, I'm so sorry. I just went, honestly, I looked at her. I went, I'm so, and bless her. She went, why are you saying sorry? And I was like, I don't know.

I was like, craziness. Did you think you'd gone? Craziness. Did you think you were just gone? Rosie, without letting everyone behind the sort of, you know, behind the curtain here, I phoned you when I found out I was in the dance-off because you have a bit

time to prepare yeah me and karen didn't prepare we sat on a flight case at the park chatting talking about all the stuff we're gonna do with the couple of weeks that we've got off now um i phoned you you didn't say you know dance your best chris just focus you know you'd imagine ringing your wife and when they dance off focus focus Chris, look, try and remember your steps, whatever you did on the night, do it better, do it bigger and better now when they dance off.

No, no, you said, look, you've had a good run Chris. Look, it's good, we'll put the tree up, we'll go away for the week.

I'm not being funny, you got me excited. You got me so excited because you were like, I'm in the dance off, I'll be out and then you rang me when you got through

and you were like, I got through and then you said, and you were like i got through and then you said and you were like karen was so impressed she said i glided i was like that's not what we agreed glided chris the difference was right i was so nervous on the night on saturday's show but on sunday's show i just i i was convinced i was going i literally looked it was kelvin and alex left and i was like right well either of them are going to smash me without a doubt.

And I was like, well, they're going to smash us. And I was just convinced I was going home. So I was like, I might as well just enjoy this. And there was no fear, no nerves. And I danced better

and I can't actually still get my head around it. You're in the last four? Oh my God. It's madness. What are you going to do if you're in the final? What are you going to do if you win? You'll not win. No, not a chance.

No way. I don't think I'll be in the final. I think I'm going home this week. Do you know the final? What are you going to do if you win? You'll not win. No, not a chance. No way. I don't think I'll be in the final. I think I'm going home this week. Do you know what though? I keep saying, I'm like, oh, you'll not win. But then I'm like, I don't know. I didn't think you'd get the final four. Neither did I.

So, hey, you just don't know. I think I was 101 to get to the final the other day, which is pretty good. So I hope anyone who put money on that, I hope I could get to the final just to make you a few quid. Oh, wow. That would be amazing, wouldn't it? Loads of people. When I was 101, loads of people were putting tenors on it. So what do you win if you're 101 of the tenor?

A thousand pound? Is that a thousand? Yeah. A hundred times ten. That's a thousand pound, isn't it? I mean, there's a lot of maths going on there. I don't know. I think so.

Too busy talking. Is it 999 pound? I don't know. Is it 990 pound? Anyway, knocking on a grand, I reckon. Amazing. Good luck to anyone. Good luck.

But don't come knocking on my door when you lose your money. It's 100 to 1 for a reason. Hey, guys, it is episode 43. As always, thank you so much for listening. Thank you for sticking with it. We love you. And before we start, a word from this week's lucrative, lucrative sponsor. This week's sponsor is Shirley and Bruno.

Hey, want to stay in the competition longer than you're welcome? lucrative, lucrative sponsor. This week's sponsor is Shirley and Bruno. Hey, want to stay in a competition longer than you're welcome? Shirley and Bruno. You can't be sponsoring Shirley and Bruno. We have a real sponsor this week. No way. I honestly... Another real one?

Yeah, yeah. Right, well, Shirley and Bruno, wait for next week, but thank you again. Listen, Shirley and Bruno, if by any chance you are listening, I doubt it very much, but if they are,

please don't save them next week because we've got Christmas decorations to put up. I'm terrified of the loft. We've got stuff to do. Chris has a list of jobs as long as my arm. A recycling bin is a travesty. It's disgusting. Please.

Robin misses his dad. Here's a jingle. We had a fight about the jingle. Jingle. We couldn't settle about the jingle. Jingle. We couldn't settle on a jingle. Jingle. So this is the jingle. Jingle.

We hope you like the jingle. Jingle. Babadoo babadoo babadoo bap. Jingle. Hello and welcome back to Shagmaridanoid. Welcome back. Thank you so much for coming back. We appreciate it.

We say this all the time. We sound so gushy. But this podcast has took off a lot more than we thought it would. Crazy. Crazy. So we are just riding this wave of people enjoying talking about shit and enjoying talking about ruined relationships. And we just love you for it.

The amount of people, can I just say, the amount of people who sort of quote things from the podcast on Twitter, people who I see in the street who say things from the podcast, like, it's really lovely. But you've had that, say you've had that though with comedy.

I've never had that before. So to me, I keep saying to you all the time, I'm like, somebody tweeted saying like, like something that I would say before and it's such a nice feeling. Yeah, little catchphrases and stuff.

Yeah. It is really cool. It's lovely. We love the little community we've created here. As always, guys, if you want to get in touch at shagmardinoid at gmail.com we'll be doing questions from the public later on uh please like rate and subscribe and all your little podcast shops as

well uh it's just really lovely to see lovely things that you're seeing and we're dead glad you're still listening we've just broke fifth uh 13 million downloads which we never thought would happen it's awesome hey listen if all of you bastards just gave at least 50 pence per one right we we'd have six and a half million quid in the bank now but you couldn't be arsed could you is that actually are you you couldn't be arsed is that how much we'd have yeah holy crap even if we just charge 50 pence an episode it's not six and a half million quid in the bank it's not all yours right listen to this now free on whatever you're listening to on your commute or whatever.

Try not to laugh on the tube. You should be ashamed of yourself. You stingy bastard. Literally. We're totally joking. We're totally joking. Robin McBlain. Should we put our back details

on the next one? No, I think that would backfire. Is it illegal? No, I'm joking. We don't want anything. You remember that poor person who sent a tenner to us and I had to send it

and I just literally left it and sent it back. Why did they send it? For the sponsor? Yeah. Oh my gosh, someone sent me a tenner. I know do you remember that poor person who sent a tenner to us and I had to send it and I just literally left it and sent it back why did they send for the sponsor yeah oh my gosh someone sent me a tenner I know I remember that

we mentioned it earlier on yeah but guys we're joking we don't want any money off you we love you it's great thank you so much we just love that you're listening

I think we should just touch on what happened just before we started the podcast oh my god the photo yeah this was lovely by the way

do you want to explain what happened I've just I've just put a picture on my Instagram Oh my God. The photo? Yeah. This was lovely, by the way. Do you want to explain what happened? I've just put a picture on my Instagram of me, Robin and Chris on the sofa. It was kind of just like a little angled one. I didn't really, I don't study my pictures that much. I'm very much, if you follow me.

I mean, you should, because there's genuinely like almost 400,000 people watching you, looking at your photos. You probably should. I don't know, you know. I could have had a bollock hanging out or anything well mate it's happened before um so no i just put this picture on and every single comment was saying that you look ill dying uh tight a lot in mind a lot of them were like concerned moms yeah he he looks knackered lesson he's lost weight one of

them was like has he got a black eye i was like no i'm just a shadow of me for myself just so literally you took the photo and it was lovely i thought and i took robert out of bed and i came down and you were busy doing an insta story explaining that i wasn't ill and you wrote me into the story going look tell them all you're okay and then you put my face was on the video and you were just like oh actually no you do

you look terrible honestly heavens above but it's because we're doing two dances this week it's craziness well it's because

it's more physical exercise than you've ever done in your whole entire life I can imagine exactly but it's all good still going guys if you want to

watch it on Saturday feel free watch it Saturday night strictly it's the semi I'm guys if you want to watch it on Saturday feel free watch it Saturday night strictly it's the semi I'm in the bloody semi final got a semi got a massive semi

a raging semi this week I hope you don't imagine that imagine the papers if you had a semi you've already had bloody Ramsey's bulge didn't you get

in a semi on that bulge twitter account had a field day when I got into the semi oh did it oh it was I've got to be honest I had to congratulate them.

I'm possibly going to follow them soon and message them going, right, who are you? You don't follow your own bulge page. No, someone set up a page of my own bulge.

It's really weird. We're talking about his penis, by the way. Yeah, so when I did the Blackpool Salsa, something happened with my pants and it looked momentarily

like I had a massive bulge, which I don't have. And there were basically... Take my pants and it looked momentarily like I had a massive bulge which I don't have and there were basically not many people take my word for it not many people would denounce that but yeah

they've started a Twitter account and it is quite funny how many followers does it have? it's got about 60 but it keeps following people I know it might have

about 400 to be fair but it keeps following people and people get the little notification Chris Ramsey's bulge followed you and then they send it to me and they're like day made and I'm like oh god I'm going to have to follow to be fair, but it keeps following people and people get the little notification, Chris Ramsey's bulge followed you and then they send it to me and they're like, DM me it.

And I'm like, oh God. I'm going to have to follow them back. I don't think I did. No, don't, because they'll be able to DM you and it'll be weird. Are you kidding me? I'd love a direct message from your knob.

Just checking in. Oh, you better be. Wink. Ooh. Oh. One-eyed wink. Oh. Disgusting.

Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. What have you been up to living vicariously through your life just because for some reason I seem to be doing it I don't know it's taken over my life this is completely taken over your whole family does it

it's seen over this podcast it's all bloody talking about. We're doing a wine cast guys. Cheers. Chin chin. Cheers babe. Chin chin everyone.

Chin chin. There you are. Christmas is frighteningly close. Disgustingly close Chris and I don't feel Christmasy at all because you're never

here and we're compiling them up. At all. I can't go in there. I'm terrified of the loft. Do you know this? Look we're going to

put the decorations up in a few days. Right. I'm going to go up in the loft and get them all down. Robin and Bill to help her. It's going to be lush. Thank you.

It's going to be absolutely lush. That'll make us feel a bit better. Yes. I can't wait. I forgot what even all my stuff looks like. I'm well excited. I know, me too. Nothing at all?

Nothing much. Just kind of working, writing bits and bobs. But I am currently, seeing as you're not here, I am living Advent calendar hell. I don't know why I bothered. Why have we bothered? Well, because if you're listening, I don't know if Advent calendars are a thing everywhere. Basically, in England, you have an Advent calendar.

You open every day, it has a number on it, and you get a chocolate. Yeah, I think most people need that. I think people know. It's just in case. I think anyone listening who doesn't know what an Advent calendar is, I mean in case. I think anyone listening who doesn't know what an Advent calendar is, I mean, if you're the person listening who didn't know what an Advent calendar is, welcome to the future.

You're going to love it. Yeah. But it's very hard for a chocoholic four-year-old to grasp the fact that you can only have one a day. Oh, my God, yeah. Chrissie's asking us every 30 seconds, but he can't say Advent calendar, so he goes, Anent calendar? Anent calendar. Anent calendar. And I'm like, it's it's advent calendar for one and no you're not getting any more he's

already three days ahead he's three days ahead he's got a lego one as well honey well that's you told us to get that for him and i've regretted it ever since oh honestly yeah he just he doesn't get it he doesn't understand well when I came home the other day he he immediately took me through to your office and made us and basically gave us one of me Christmas presents

that you bought with him oh I know because I took him I made the mistake of taking him Christmas shopping and I bought other people's stuff and then everyone who comes

he told me mum as well he's like oh mum this is for you for Christmas and my mum was like it's not Christmas I was like

no your mum's getting a taste of our medicine. That's all she does. She always just gives people her shit early. That's her famous thing. Oh my gosh, she's done it again, you know. That's her favorite trick. Has she done it again? Well, she's done it again.

Basically, we went shopping last week, me and my mom, Sandra, and she was like, I'm going to get you a candle for Christmas. Which one do you want? And you're like, you could have just picked this one and wrapped it up.

You don't have to tell us. And then as well, she's bought us some incense because we went to a posh cafe in London and they had incense burning in the toilet and she's thought about it ever since. Great. And then she's like,

I've got your incense for Christmas. So you might want to get a hold on. You know when you're like, could you not have got us a hold on? Could you just not have told us? Sorry, what kind of candle? She's bought us a smelly candle. Right. Incense and a smelly? Could you just not have told us? Sorry, what kind of candle? She's bought us

a smelly candle. Right, incense and a smelly candle. What are you trying to say? A dinner. What's all this? I brought you some breath mints

and some scented bog roll because your mouth and arse cracks stink. I should just tell you. Jesus Christ. What's the house fucking lifting? I don't know.

I've got some poor puree. I've got some pegs for everyone's noses. Just leave them in a little bowl at the front door when people come in because yours are lifting. She's got us worried now. Watch it. Easter, get a plug in. At least I have a plug in.

I don't know. So yeah, so I know what I'm getting. Me and the whole family have saved up and what we're getting for your anniversary is we're getting one of them things that they do in Breaking Bad where they put a big tent over your house and fumigate the whole thing. Smelly bastards. I'd love one of them things that they do in Breaking Bad where they put a big tent over your house and fumigate the whole

smelly bastards I'd love one of them sort of to be fair good god so yeah so don't forget that you've had that Christmas present

I'm going to be making a list and then when it comes to the day I'll be reminding you you've had that I was buzzing to be fair because I was back

for one day off from Strictly and it was I'm looking at it now it's over on the bench it was a Flintstones Lego and I didn't know there was a Flintstones Lego and me didn't know there was a Flintstones Lego

and me and him made it and do you know what that was 50 quid you know yeah Lego was not cheap that was 50 quid I couldn't believe when you put it together

it's tiny yeah very small pieces though very small it was a really was he was he it was a very

entertaining build oh I'm glad is that annoying you that phrase entertaining build horrible good build that was a good build

that's how us Lego guys talk wow it was a good build that's how us Lego guys talk wow it's a good build that that's saddest thing I've ever heard couple hour build good

challenge and build no no no stop well I don't like the look you're giving us you really don't fancy me

in this moment no you still have to have sex is it because I look like shit it's because you look like shit and you're talking about Lego. Look like shit and talking shit. Like you work on a building site.

It's just a bit weird. It's time for Watcha Beef. Hey, you! Think you're hard getting in the semi-finals, do you? The Johnson competition? Aye, you're not. finals day of a jansen competition aye you're not oh we need to start videoing these podcasts because you jumped up when it was your time to do barry beef that's barry barry introducing the beefs everyone anything else you've got to say barry tired no i don't barry has nothing barry

only does the one line okay don't try and make him more because he's not he's not a complex character he's very much just an in and out that's all he does and if you make it more then it just gets complicated

and people will get sick of him so Barry he doesn't stick around for long he's a one shot he's a one trick pony cool what's your beef ladies first

or do you want me to go first it's up to you I'll go first ladies first so obviously with Strictly you're away again sorry not here very much Cool. What's your beef? Ladies first? Or do you want me to go first? It's up to you. I'll go first. Ladies first. So obviously with Strictly, you're away again. Sorry. Not here very much. Sorry.

I think I've touched on this in the past in this podcast, but I can't remember exactly. I'm just going to go there again. You're still sending workmen round to the house and you're not here. Gareth came and did the radiators. The plumber. Don't get us wrong. He's lovely, but at the same time yeah

terrified people coming to the house I don't know why he's doing this you've watched too much Lutheran stuff man well he brought a friend with him

I don't know who that is right okay I'm sorry you need to stop doing it it's not cool I know it's not good

you need to fix the shower the shower broke I could have handled the shower not working right okay I'd rather The shower not working Right okay I'd rather have a not working shower Than be Attacked

Mugged Right And everything that goes in between Okay Okay Right I don't have a leg to stand on here No

But you've got to stop this weirdness About workmen Did a guy come for the gate The other day as well I don't know I was locked in the house I was hiding under your bed With a knife

Like Kevin McAllister Yes Look Sometimes stuff just needs fixing There's nothing I can really do I'm really sorry locked in the house outside under your bed like Kevin McAllister yes look sometimes stuff just needs fixing there's nothing I can really do I'm really slow right

but then nothing would ever get fixed and you'd be in a house that was falling apart and you'd be kicking right off that's fine give character to the house you'd love it

you'd love an old shithole wouldn't you you'd love an old shithole of a house yeah ref honestly I would guys the amount of time

we sit and watch Escape of the Shadow and someone buys a fucking dump and she goes oh I'd love an old shithole of a house yeah ref honestly I would guys the amount of time we sit and watch Escape of the Shadow and someone buys a fucking dump and she goes oh I'd love to that's what I want we're doing that

that'll be a project wouldn't it oh look at that oh look at that bath's fucking metal like pewter look at it

it's rust look at it they got in that bath and you detect this isn't it great no it's not I do room by room just living in a little room

minging all warm cosy together in the same little bed, mattress. Like fucking Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Oh, I would. It'll happen one day. Ugh, God. You'll be staying in a B&B down the road. I will not.

I will just build, I'll build a really modern apartment at the bottom of the garden and I'll live in the modern apartment. That upsets me about our marriage. What does? I was thinking about this the other day. That upsets me about our marriage. What does? I was thinking about this the other day.

The fact that I just really want a really old house. Yeah. Like listed, like... Yeah. Beams. Yeah. You hate anything like that. I just want everything new. And I feel like we're not going to...

I want it to work. Not going to get on. Yeah. That's what I'm worried about. Is that it? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Well, it's all right.

You do understand if you're buying old shithole, there's going to be workmen there all the time. You know that, don't you? Yeah, well, that's fine. I just wouldn't live there while they were there. Right, okay, great. Do you know what I meanithole there's going to be workmen there all the time. You know that, don't you? Yeah, well, that's fine. I just wouldn't live there while they were there. Right, okay, great. Where are you going to live then?

In me caravan. Fuck. That you're getting us for Christmas. Oh, this is all just terrible. Because you've done strictly and you're rich and famous now. I'll leave the gates open on Christmas morning.

Don't worry. For the caravan. Yeah. Great. Oh, God. Don't expect a caravan. Don't be expecting a caravan. Oh, yeah, yeah. Don't be doing it. It's alright, don't worry. No, no, no. Don't expect a caravan. Don't be expecting a caravan. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Don't be doing it. Don't worry. No, no, no. I know you're just trying to pose off. Don't be doing it. Don't know. All right.

Okay. Wing, wing. No. All right. All right. Yeah, yeah. Rosie. Wing, wing.

No. Wing, wing. There is no caravan. All right. There's no caravan. Just remember I need the thing for the back of my car. Right. Okay.

The tail. The tail. What's it called? The tow bar. The tow bar. The tail. What's it called? The toolbar. The toolbar. The tail. I'm excited. Can't wait.

Oh, Jesus. We'll get a good one. You're going to be good at it. Come on, Chris. I see you a little bit. Oh, no. Lego. Lego do a car.

I'll get you a Lego caravan. Hey, be a good build. Oh, for God's sake. What's your beef with me? My beef with you this week is, obviously, I've been working away a lot. I do miss you.

I came home the other day. I gave you a lovely cuddle. I was sitting watching a bit of Downton Abbey again as we're still cracking on with that. I gave you a cuddle and a kiss. I said I love you. I'm happy to be back. I lay on you.

You then let out a massive fart and said welcome home. a massive fart and said welcome home. So that's me main issue this week. Oh great!

Sure is. I just thought you might have really missed Home Come Back. You know, I don't want you getting too above your station with all these beautiful dancers welcome back to reality shithead i'm so sorry that was looking back now it was funny at the time you laughed you laughed of course i did i'm only half joking it was hilarious it was a little bit wrong it was it was class it

was really funny i'm only joking it's not all honesty, it's not a real beef. It was really, really funny. Oh, I'll take it back. No, because it was still disgusting and I could have done without it. I could taste it. I'd had beef, I think,

that day. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. Hey, do the jingle. Do you want to join in? You join in a little bit. Okay, what do I do? Just the words? Yeah, but no,

you always no, no, no, because you're a great singer and it's lovely hearing you around. Let's see how we go. No, because you're going to slag us off we're not gonna practice oh god let's talk about shit baby let's talk about poo and we let's talk about all the good shits all the bad shits that have been let's talk about shit let's talk about shit with a little bit of shit let's talk about shit. Let's talk about shit with a little bit of shit. Let's talk about shit. Shag married and shit. Whoa, hey.

Hey, look at me. Listen to you, man. Look at me. I'm going on The Voice next. You better not. I swear. You better. If you dare go on a singing one, I'll be livid.

Of course I'm not. Can you imagine? I'm the worst singer in the world. But that was fun. I enjoyed that harmonising to Pooh songs. That was great. Can I just tell you? Yeah. one i'll be livid of course i'm not can you imagine i'm the worst singer in the world but that was fun i enjoyed that harmonizing to poo songs that was great can i just tell you yeah like the amount of poo stories has been unbelievable really like i thought what the people want well we're only doing one a week obviously yeah i mean you can't do more well if you look at it like you know it's not the whole thing's about it if you look at the toilet room as a small portion portion of the show so it's all right i've got one here

good um this one this one is from someone we know oh is this one you teased me earlier yes i've been really excited for this so while we're having our dinner rosie said that you had a let's talk about shit story and it was from i mean mean, without giving away who it is. You can't. A possible relative. I've been sworn to secrecy. Well, all I'm saying is possible relative. Okay.

Okay. So, it starts off like this. My, and I know this is true because on the day it happened, I got a phone call telling me about it.

Great, I'm so excited. My partner is a manager in a very large business. Oh, that's amazing. Oh, that's amazing. Yeah, yeah. Sorry, is this a poo story?

Are you auditioning for the fucking apprentice? You're bragging. I'm bragging, love. A few years ago, something happened to him at work, which we still laugh about to this day. True, they do. I've heard them. Right.

I'm wondering if maybe I've picked up this story before. Maybe I know it. I'm excited. Continue. You might have. Okay. He was preparing for a big finance meeting when he was due to present to a room full of people.

He started to feel a bit of a dicky tummy coming on and popped into one of the spare meeting rooms to do a discreet fart. I've got a funny feeling I know where this is going, but this is fantastic. Post-fart, he realised to his horror that he had followed through. I've got a funny feeling on where this is going this is fantastic post fart he realised to his horror

that he had followed through my lord heavens in his state of sheer panic he walked quickly John Wayne style

to the toilet to assess the damage I wish I could tell you who wrote this because I feel like you would enjoy it even more because it's ridiculous. And I know she's going to have had a lovely time writing this.

Oh, God. He decided it was too risky to use the toilet on his floor in case any of his colleagues walk in, so he went to use the toilets down in reception. Wow. He realised that his underwear was past saving and the shit was well and truly now starting to seep through his Calvin Klein's. Oh, Christ.

Good heavens. He knew that he should probably just throw away his underwear, but he also really didn't want to go commando for his meeting. He said the feeling of his trousers rubbing against his testicles would be too off-putting. Wow. So what? Rather just have shit on your pants.

Have a pants full of poo. Hey, Calvin Klein's or someone's doing alright. Yeah, exactly. Even people who wear Calvin Klein's are prone to shit themselves. It's not a nappy, guys.

Uh-huh. So, he pulled up his pants, walked out of the toilet, did a lap of the ground floor reception area and approached

the reception desk to ask the receptionist if she had a pair of scissors ground floor reception area and approached the reception desk to ask the receptionist if she had a pair of scissors he could borrow. Right, no, I've never heard this. I have never heard this. Have you not? And you know it. I've told you who it is. Yeah, I know who it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah?

True story. Ready? He went back to the toilet, removed his shitty underwear and proceeded to cut the shitty part off using scissors. No way, man. Shut the fuck... No. No. He wrapped the shitty piece of material in some toilet roll and put it into the bin. The toilets well and truly stank of shit by now.

So he quickly pulled up his underwear, which now had a massive hole in the back, and hot-footed it back to reception to hand back the scissors that's the worst why is that the worst bit that's the worst bit

that's the worst bit bless her because she's just using them scissors on her eggs what if she's one of those people who cuts pizza with scissors

some people do that I've seen people do that they put a pizza in the oven a little thin pizza and they cut it with scissors I know but she could be cutting anything with that a hair she she could be cutting anything with that

oh a hair oh she could just be cutting anything fingernails I was thinking more along the lines of like important documents

no fingernails hair eyelashes great yeah nose hair are you

how big do you think these scissors are they're not little teeny weeny ones they're like pretty big scissors I think I just redid it with like a big massive a full on

like not little pair of nail scissors these are massive scissors are you ready yeah he then went and did his presentation with a massive hole in his underwear

and the poor receptionist was none the wiser that her scissors most likely still had a shitty when it's oh my god that's disgraceful that her scissors most likely still had a shitty winnings. Oh my God.

That's disgraceful. When he told me the story on his way home that evening, I refused to believe him until he came in and showed me the evidence. I thought this was so funny, I decided to show the kids his underpants before I threw them out. I told them Daddy had farted and blew a hole in his pants.

Wow. Wow. They thought it was hilarious and they still talk about the time Daddy did a fart so powerful it blew his pants away. Wow. Imagine them going to school the next day. Wonderful.

Yeah, I wouldn't have told them. That's amazing. Well played. Thank you very much. Good God. Thanks very much. You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series.

This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Jimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder. April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit tso.ca. This Friday.

You must be very careful, Margaret. It's the girl. Witness the birth. Bad things will start to happen. Evil things. Of evil. It's all. You know, don't.

The first omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil. Movie of the year. It's not real. I'm not real.

I'm not real. Who said that? The First Omen. In theaters Friday. Get tickets now. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Center for Addiction and Mental Health,

to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind.

So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. I know we said we were only going to do one. Okay. Okay, but we're going to leave this to daisy our editor i'm going to tell you this next one and i'm going to leave it to her whether we stick

it in or not right and if this bit's still in if you're listening to this now she left both in she's disgusting it's her fault yes blame daisy blame daisy right well do you know how last week the one the shit chop with down the plug hole? Yeah. You were like... So many people have spoken to me about that this week. Well, you said that hardly anyone does that. Yeah. And I told you there's more people do this. I've had another one.

Oh, you never. It's worse. No. Chris, it's worse. How? Do you want to hear it? Yes. It is so much worse.

It's horrific. Right. Hello, Rosie and Chris. I was listening to week 42's podcast and your shit story for that week made me laugh because it was so relatable

except relatable I know why is that relatable horrific except I can one up it they really can

in my first year of uni I stayed in mixed gender halls the set up was a long corridor of single rooms with a shared kitchen allocated for a group of four or five rooms and then a shared bathroom and shower stalls um for the full corridor did you get it i can smell the place i can already smell the place it smells like um microchips and damp washing yeah my ex we lived in one of them it leads smells like a bin. Awful. I wasn't very good at socialising

with the people in my corridor, even my shared kitchen. I promise I had friends, they just stayed in different halls. I essentially only slept in the bed in my room and showered there and pooed. Great.

However, I wasn't super happy in knowing that people could walk in on me shitting in the shared toilets, especially after an experience where I heard someone else shit whilst I was trying to take a simple poo in peace. I understand now...

All right, lady of the manor, can you not shit while I'm shitting, please? Copycat. I understand now that no one would know who was taking a shit, however, I panicked. So, I had to think of an alternative. I had a sink in my room. No way. And a basin. Stop it.

You're horrible. You're all... Sorry, what's a basin? A basin's a sink. Like a basin... No. A basin's the same thing, isn't it? A sink and a basin.

A sink and a basin. Well, anyway, let's just see. Because I thought the basin was like a bowl or something. So I used to squat over the basin. Well, anyway, let's just see because I thought the basin was like a bowl or something. Right. So, I used to squat over the basin, take a dump, transfer it into my sink

and force it down the sinkhole. Oh, you're the pit. Using a combination of hot water and my fingers. No. No. No, stop it. Chris.

You're all horrible. Chris, hang on. I did this on and off for at least half of my first year at university. That is minging. That is minging. That is the the oh, nah, right.

Can I just say, A, you're disgusting. B, you could have done better, right? You could have popped an Asda for about 10 quid. You could have bought a blender, right? You could shit in the blender, put hot water in the blender, turn the blender on, blend it all up, and then pour the liquid down the sink. Why would you even do that? Go to the toilet.

No, no. Lunatic. Listen, if you're going to do that, then that's your blender, right? Don't let anyone use that blender. Keep it in a sealed box. Why? That's horrific. I'm just thinking of the pipe work.

I'm just thinking of the pipe work. I'm not being funny. So her room must have stunk of shit clinging to the inside of that pipe. Oh, my word. Keep the plug in. Keep the plug in. Good God. However, I would like to tell you that I've changed my ways and haven't done this since. Oh, good. Congratulations. However, that would be a lie.

Ready? No. Two years after graduating from university, I was at a bonfire night party at my stepdad's friend's house. And I shot on the fire. With my fingers. I was drunk and needed a shit. However, everyone was leaving the house to go see the local firework display and my poo wouldn't flush.

My God. So, with everyone harassing me to hurry up i had to fish it out the loo from the toilet bowl transfer it to the sink and force it down with hot water and my fingers before giving my hands a thorough clean and rejoin the party how clean how clean you washing your hands though i'm sorry there's not enough there's not enough don't be fingering your turds exactly can you not can you remember when um i got me pool table delivered when we lived in the old um i got me pool table delivered when we lived in the old house i got me pool table delivered yeah and the guy was dropping all the bits outside

all the different bits of the pool table to put it together and i picked it up and it was like karma i told you didn't that it was like karma because it was like i was getting a pool table at my house so i was like absolute johnny big bollocks thought it was amazing but then i helped the guy and he'd actually put it down in some dog shit. Oh. And I carried my pool table in it. I had dog shit all over my hands. I couldn't get rid of the smell all day.

No, it's even worse. Hand sanitizer, I couldn't get rid of it. So doing that, bloody, oh God. Horrible. Minging. Horrible. Whoever wrote that, you are minging. I know.

Stop it. Who's getting, who is looking at a turd in a toilet that won't flush and their first thing to do is

so I picked it out with me hand and put it like what would you do I'd fucking leave it would you put toilet roll over it

I've done that before it depends how it wouldn't flush I'm very good at getting toilets to flush because I do block toilets hello my name is Chris Ramsey and I am very good at getting toilets to flush because i do block toilets hello my name is chris

ronsey and i am very good at getting toilets to block toilets quite often you know this i block toilets quite a lot and i know how to get rid of them so can i just tell you this right now that we're going so filthy but i learned this off my dad years ago right why if you've got no if you've got a you know a little floating you know floating turd that won't flush if you've got a floating turd no no come on this is public service right if you've got a floatd that won't flush? If you've got a floating turd... Why are we talking about this? No, no, come on. This is public service, right? If you've got a float that won't flush, right, all you've got to do is rip off probably three lengths of toilet roll.

Now, when I say lengths, I mean make sure there's at least four... No, at least four squares per length. What? Right? Four squares per length, right? That's a lot. So that's three lengths,

three lots of four squares. Roll them up into three decent-sized balls, right? And throw one at the poo, throw it at it, flush, and then throw the other two as it's flushing and then grab hold of it and then pull it down.

The three balls, grab hold and pull it down. I know it sounds like bollocks, but that works. I know, I know it sounds like bollocks. Throw the balls at them and I'm telling you to catch it

and take it down. The most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. I know, I know it's up there. I know, I know it's up there with like, rub the meat on your ward and take it down. The most ridiculous thing I've ever heard about. I know it's up there. I know it's up there with like, rub the meat on your ward and bury it in the garden. And as the meat decays, your ward will disappear. I know it sounds like magic, but it actually works.

I can't. It works. And if you ever block the toilet, just fill a bucket of water and pour the bucket of water from a height into the toilet and that'll move the stuff down. God, how often do you do this? Fucking all the time.

So often. You're so disgusting. So often. Can we stop? do you do this? Fucking all the time. So often. You're so disgusting. So often. Can we stop? Do you know our downstairs toilet? You know that little bucket you've got next to the toilet? That little show thing with a rose on it? What, the bin?

The bin? Uh-huh. That's my bucket. Fill that up on the regs, mate. No, you don't. On the regs. I fill it up in the bath and I pour it down.

Oh my God. On the regs. That's what I do. You need more. You need different diet. It's time for questions from the public. Public. Public.

Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public.

Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public.

Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public.

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Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public.

Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public.

Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public.

Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public.

Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public.

Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public.

Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public. Public.. Happy days. Okay, one here, a serious question. No more poo. I'm so sorry. Sorry, everyone. Here's a question. Hey, guys.

Really enjoying the podcast. Thank you. So I emailed in a few weeks ago asking how you can tell if someone likes you. I'm so sorry. I didn't say it. Got over 9,000 emails. Yeah, we're not going on 10,000. Don't worry about it.

But I found this one. Okay. Well, I finally got the bollocks to write why. Was shitting myself in case he listened but here goes so this guy i work with is a very very nice guy he is lovely to everyone but lately we've been getting very close and i don't know if it's like best mates kind of close or more than that i found out today he changed his work pattern which now fits in the same as mine. Oh. It's pretty telling, isn't it? Is it?

I don't... Is it? I don't know what the pattern is, do I? Well, does that matter? It's just the way you said it's pretty telling, innit? Well, he's changed his work pattern so that's the same as hers. Okay, then.

Okay. I'm just saying, don't be too much into it. Oh, cynic. We went on a work's night out and he was my lift and he told everyone we were just going for the meal. Then we went out after he paid for my drinks all night.

However, I got in such a state he had to sit with me and hold my hair while I was sick. Good God. Good God. Come on, man, love. Come on, man. Hold it together. You're ruining it. You're ruining it.

Come on. He also found out I went for another job and begged me to stay and even tried to talk to the management to try and get me to stay good god we also have an office

in Ireland and he's been asking if me and him can go there for a week I just feel like he's being friendly but then part of me thinks surely

it's more than just friendly I've missed a lot off but that's because it's a long story sorry for the long one tell us what you think ooh've missed a lot off, but that's because it's a long story. Sorry for the long one. Tell us what you think. There's a lot going on there.

I don't know how she hasn't noticed that asking you to go to Ireland and speaking to management and changing your shift pattern isn't enough to realise that someone likes you. But then, it's the age-old thing. If she hasn't got a clue and she's given absolutely no signals back, then he's gonna be

crapping himself and not gonna want to put it out there. So he just keeps hinting, shall we go away for a week? Oh, don't leave. Oh, I'll speak to management. Oh, I'll hold your hair while you're being sick. Oh, I'll buy you drinks all night. Like, what's going on? They're not hints though, they're pretty obvious things. Other though, because they're also obvious things

if someone wanted to be your friend. Oh yeah. Do you know what I mean? Hmm. I don't know. I should know a lot about this because I used to get friend zoned a lot. Oh no, did you?

When I was younger. Oh yeah, I was always the lad's mate. Oh bless you. Really? Although, this is totally off. Do you know what I was thinking about the other day? What? This is so random.

Do you remember when I was at school do you know I won the best bum in year 11 who put that together the teachers the lads the lads in my year

I won best bum can you believe it I was absolutely buzzing you got a lovely bum I love your bum thank you so did all year 11

think that as well can you imagine it was the teachers who put it together can you imagine assembly today best bum Rosie Winter go rosie give her a twirl sir give her a little wiggle that would be so wrong that would be horrific but yeah very chuffed about that but no on the other hand though you're 11 best bum best bum best bum best friend bum best friend bum that's

what i mean i think they'd run out of stuff they'd run out of stuff do you know what I mean it's like best boobs best eyes best lips fittest fittest you know

like best giving low jobs and that whatever and I just got who's got the best arse Rosie can have it that'll do

will they talk about your arse or your face who knows who knows it's because I hung around with like the pretty girls but I was like the It's because I hung around with the pretty girls, but I was the last on the pecking order of the pretty girls. Were you the dragger on, the hanger on?

I was the hanger on. I was the winnet of the pretty popular girls. Yeah. Yeah, I know. It's tragic. So I used to always just kind of be the friend who would set up the other friends. Do you just want to come out with us tonight?

We're going to go to the park. Yeah, right. Okay, bring four of your mates for me friends and bring your dog for Rosie she won best bum your dog will love her bum

sniffed me arse all night little shit that might be why I don't like dogs I think he's back me wine everywhere traumatized um so anyway i don't know what's going on there i've got no idea i've talked i think we've touched on this before i've got no i i don't know what the signals are i don't know what's happening i don't in the past i've read signals completely wrong and i've also

failed to read signals yeah again i think you should i don't know In the past, I've read signals completely wrong and I've also failed to read signals. Yeah. Again, I think you should, I don't know. It should be like, I deny, there should be a colour code for it or something. Like if you fancy someone wear this colour or I don't know. See, some people love the thrill of the chase. They're like, well, I cannot be arsed.

I could never be arsed. I always just, I was a person who would put people off straight. I'd be like, right, cards on the table. Do fancy me yes or no is this big enough is this a thing yes or no cards on the table tell us what's happening now are we going to kiss tell us don't just lean in and shut your eyes because i've done what you want you might be trying to sneeze are we gonna kiss oh my god you know what it's though you're still like that of course i am like that's still your life i need to know straight away my God, do you know what it is though? You're still like that now. Of course I am. Like that's still your life now. I need to know straight away.

You just need to know. I do. I need to know everything. Honestly. I hate subtlety. Fuck that. So boring. Who's got time for that?

And I asked her if you want to go to Ireland and I made the bosses stay. And then she'll go, okay, then we're going to kiss. And you'll go, oh no, you're just me mate. Well, fucking, you're weird. Why do you want us to go away with this? I don't want to go away with any of my mates from work.

Creep. Where's your dog? Anyway, good luck with it. Good luck. Another one here. Yeah. This one, a bit of fan mail. Fan mail?

Fan mail for her. Hopefully. I'm thinking this guy, he might be related to David. I'm not sure. Ah, okay. We'll see. We'll see. Dear Rosie and chris so i'm 18 minutes two seconds into episode nine wow um i've had to pause this and type this

email wow i had thought of a good question to send at the end of this week's episode but as i say i have had to press pause and pull over so i'm guessing he was driving he's pulled over jesus yes literally parked to send this question with a side of beef. Like many fans of the podcast, I look forward to Friday's commute so I can listen to you both. I think you're both really funny and bounce off each other very well. Oh, that's nice. Move over out on deck, there's new Jordies in town.

Oh, wow. That's lovely, isn't it? That's lovely. However, I reached a point, specifically at 18.02, when Rosie's singing really annoyed me, unlike when I have smiled previously. So there's the beef. Now the question. After being together for some time, does her singing, randomly during conversation, get to you, or have you learned to block it out? If so, please share the secret with me.

Kind regards, Mick. Fucking hell, Mick. Or as I like to call him Mick the fucking prick Mick the prick who felt the need to pull over

wow and email in to complain about Mick do you know what you can just do you know what you can just turn it off or maybe skip it

or maybe turn it down I think the thing that I found saddest about this right was that he could have pulled over yeah he could have messaged a loved one do you know what I mean he coulddest about this was that he could have pulled over. Yeah. He could have messaged a loved one.

Do you know what I mean? He could have sent a lovely email. He could have... He could have quickly went on JustGiven and donated some money to charity. Do you know what I mean? No. But what did he spend his time doing?

He decided to email to us to complain about my singing. Do you know what I mean? Good God. Get over it, Mick. Let it go, Mick. Let it go. It's all good, mate. Don't.

No. I've got him. Shut up. Let it go. Mick, I'm so sorry. Let it go Mick let it go it's all good mate don't no I've got him shut up let it go Mick I'm so sorry Mick this is for you Mick Mick you're a fucking prick

sorry Mick let it go Mick there's loads of other podcasts out there and don't get your dick on a brick

thank you for the fan mail guys we appreciate it oh Mick and Devon sitting in a tree compilating ing

well done high five that was great that was great good afternoon Chris and Rosie I have a question for you both lovely

if asked and if necessary would you apply cream to each other's bum holes fuck me that really took me by surprise that did you like that really took me by surprise i just want to tell you all again that chris has no idea what these questions are ever very well done hey you actually get a lot more of enjoyment out of this it's really entertaining for me i don't i do no prep at the minute because of strictly so you just do all these questions and i just get to sit and enjoy these as they come fantastic um so so they're saying would you do it and i'm not talking for fun or sexual pleasure in some twisted way that people might enjoy,

but for a genuine sore bum. Right. Okay, can I answer this? Yes. Why can't your arm stretch around your bum hole and do it yourself? That was my question as well. Get a mirror.

Why aren't you doing it? Squat down. Do it yourself. Why are you asking the other half to put bum cream on for you I don't know why bum cream's going I don't know why we're doing it

I mean I would if I had to if I had to if you're really ill I don't think there'd ever be a time when you'd have to put bum cream

on my bum maybe what if what's happened to my arms what if you'd somehow been in some kind of

cooking accident where you'd burnt both hands and your anus at the same time somehow I don't know what's happened oh my god what was I making some kind of bake off where you'd burnt both hands and your anus at the same time. Somehow, I don't know what's happened. Oh my God, what was I making?

Some kind of bake-off thing where maybe you've got like a hot sort of, I don't know, like maybe a... Danger bake. Yeah, maybe like some kind of hot... Hot fat. Let's say stew. Let's say maybe some kind of stew or something, or a hot pot.

You've got it out of the oven. Oh my God, you've got to do it naked. No, no, you've somehow, like maybe you've spilt some of it and it's quickly it's gone on your pants a bit right so then you've quickly pulled your pants off and then you didn't realize that you'd also spilt some onto the chair as well and then you sit down and then it goes it directly penetrates your anus yeah and then at the same time then you stand up and you get such a fright you lean forward and you put both your hands into it as well okay so your hands are blistered yeah and they're all

wrapped up and you're sitting with your hands in the air like jazz hands right and you're also cocking your leg like a dog okay you need cream on your bum boils everywhere yeah third degree burn all of your hands right amazing okay then yes yeah probably would need your help yeah well no i'd probably still be laughing i'd be more inclined to ring sand. Really? You'd get your mum to? Possibly. Okay. Can she do mine while she's here? What's happened to you? Same. No, do you know what's happened to you?

What? You've had a really terrible skiing accident. Right, okay. You were going down the slope a little bit too fast. Someone tripped you over, you got a ski, like, up, one of them poles up your bum. But that's not a burn. That's, unless it went up really fast. That's not a burn. It's just, okay, it doesn't have to be a burn, is it?

You said it's burn cream. I thought it was burn cream. I don't know why. No, no, this is just anything cream. Okay, so a ski that's unless it went up really fast that's not a burn it's just okay it doesn't have to be a burn you said it's burn cream I thought it was burn cream I don't know why no no this is just anything cream okay so the ski pole's gone up this is Savlon this is like

so you don't get an infection other creams are available they're not getting sponsorship sorry I don't think there's one that's sponsored Vaseline Sudocrem

whatever all of that so it's just you've had one of them poles go up your rectum right okay and then what's happened is when you've landed

you've landed on this. You're not skiing. You're ice skating. Right, okay. And then you've landed. Where's the pole? Why is there a pole? Why is there a pole?

Sometimes people ice skate with poles. No, they don't. Never seen that happen. Maybe it's a umbrella. Why are you ruining me, Tony? Or someone else's ski. Maybe it's someone else's ski. Maybe I've fell and it's gone up my ass.

Someone's skied over your fingers. You've got no fingers anymore. Oh, God. So would you let us put your cream on your bum arse someone's skied over your fingers you've got no fingers anymore oh god so would you let us put your cream on your bum so someone has skied over my fingers they've came off

and someone else has stopped and the ski has gone up my arse and you need to put this cream on my arse it's just honestly couldn't have been

a worse day for you it was a terrible day and you had loads on that night as well so it's just letting people down left right and centre if I'm honest

yeah fair enough I would let you put the cream on your bum right okay great yeah I would you would put the cream on your right okay great yeah I would you would put the cream on your

probably wear gloves yeah good that's very and I would probably never go ice skating again wouldn't blame you babe I'm not even going to go this Christmas now

because I'm worried that exactly that might happen yeah it could worse things have happened I know I mean I'm gutted that I'm

not going to get to do that TV program the cooking program but it's fine. There'll be other ones. It's time for this week's Celebrity Question. Celebrity Question. Celebrity Question.

This week it is from Calvin the Hips Fletcher. Oh, the competition. Yeah. Oh, the competition. Yeah. Oh, fraternising with the enemy. There's no competition from me for Calvin, I tell you that right now. He's got no one to worry about that lad. The Snake Hips of the Dales. Hiya, mate.

Have you ever seen your missus have a number two? Because I've never seen my missus have a number two. And now we're married with our kids. I want to see it just so I know I've seen it. So maybe that's way too over the top. I don't know my Miss Having No. 2. And now we're married with our kids. I want to see it, just so I know I've seen it. So maybe that's way too over the top. I don't know. Hope you well. See you soon.

Wow. Kelvin, right. Dude, you don't want to see it. Rosie is still, I've said this from day one, Rosie will just run into the toilet where I'm there. I could be brushing my teeth. I could be doing whatever. I could be having a shower.

And she'll just start. It's like she somehow gets off on me being in the same room while she's having a poo wet floor sign over here at the same time and he sent us another one but his second question was um your podcast is brilliant and doing so well but on a scale of one to ten how pissed off would you be if the sponsors suggested it should now be just Rosie on her own? Oh. Well, I didn't want to say it, Chris, but I've actually been on the line.

Some people talking to this and that, you know what I mean? You've already started. You've already started muscling in. The bloody sponsors are all bras and knickers and bloody dildos and that now, so I don't know what to do. No, I couldn't do it.

What would I talk about? Shit. Oh, God. Yeah, it would be couldn't do it. What would I talk about? Shit. Oh, God. Yeah, it would be. It would be. Who would I interview? I'd just have to interview. Welcome to number twos with Rosie.

Oh, my gosh. I would just interview celebrities, celebrities. Yeah. About, like, poo. Oh, God. I'm telling you, this could happen. You bet the Gillian McKeith of podcasting. Oh, my gosh.

I could get them to bring a sample. Oh, for fuck's sake. And we could just look at it and that. And then at the at the end at the end you ceremonially push it down a plug that's that's the podcast right there good i'm just gonna i'm just gonna ring a few people if i'm honest good yeah brilliant and we've come to the end of another episode thank you so so much for listening once again like we said before we really appreciate you coming back week after week and we love doing it so thank you and hopefully you'll be back next week as well absolutely guys thank you so much if you want to get in touch it is shaggedmaridanoid at gmail.com don't just make them fecal related make them all kinds of questions and things and whatever you

want to get off your chest just let us know shaggedmaridanoid at gmail.com please watch strictly on saturday night and vote because it would be a laugh if this idiot made it to the final can you imagine i mean i was in the dance off last week so i probably you know i think maybe the viewers are clicking on that maybe it should just be good dancers in the final but you never know might be quite a practical joke on all this strictly uh you know the strictly experts out there if this idiot made it to the final uh but that's on on saturday night around about seven o'clock is something like that votes Walk on all the strictly experts out there, if this idiot made it to the final. But that's on on Saturday night, round about seven o'clock or something like that.

Votes open as the show closes. And my 2022 is on sale now, you beauties. So that's chrissamsiecomedy.com for that. It is goodbye from me, and it's goodbye from the chocolate-quilted shit-talking shit pig. There she is. Oh, she's not admitted herself cough. Brilliant.

Thanks, guys. Bye. Big love. Love you. Bye. just don't admit yourself cough brilliant thanks guys bye big love love you bye rock city you're the best fans in the league bar none tickets are on sale now for fan appreciation night on saturday

april 13th when the toronto rock hosts the rochester nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play.

Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com.