Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 54. Pointing the Finger

Episode Date: March 6, 2020

On this week's podcast we here about Rosie's night out, and there's a lot of finger chat plus a new (returning?) character. There's some technology themed beef, a request to settle an argument over a broken plate and a story about some lost chewing gum - where could it have gone? Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com. This Friday, you must be very careful, Margaret.

It's a girl. Witness the birth. Bad things will start to happen. Evil things. Of evil. It's all. You know, don't. The first omen.

I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil. Movie of the year. It's not real. It's not real.

It's not real. Who said that? The First Omen. The Impeders Friday. Gets it gets now. Hello, you're listening to Shag Maridanoid with me, Rosie Ramsey, and my husband, Chris Ramsey. Hear ye, hear ye. Hear ye, hear ye. We have an announcement to make.

More dates have been added to the Shagged Married Annoyed Live Tour. It's very exciting. It was announced on Wednesday. You may have already heard, but we wanted to play the little trumpet noise that we found on YouTube. I'm doing the accent. Chris has let the accent slip, which is very disappointing. It's not your best work, Rosie.

Now. Hear ye. Hear ye. Fellow Aussians. Extra dates have been added on the go-on sale. If you listen to the podcast on day of release, it's Friday the 6th of March. The go-on sale at 10am today.

We've had another Edinburgh date, we've had another Manchester, another Birmingham, another Newcastle Arena, and we have added, oh my god, Wembley Arena. Wembley Arena in London which is utter utter madness utter madness

thank you everyone who bought tickets so far they sold out in an hour it was insane thank you and we'll hopefully see you at the other ones or I mean we're panicking they're not going to sell but please sell please come thank you well and fare ye with good morrow and no sorrow

from us two greedy bastards you boredom we are making the most of it yes and don't and don't buy from touts

no here's the jingle no no real jingle real jingle coming now And don't buy from touts. No. Here's the jingle. No, no. Real jingle. Real jingle coming now. We had a fight about the jingle. Jingle. We couldn't settle on a jingle.

Jingle. So this is the jingle. Jingle. We hope you like the jingle. Jingle. Babadoo babadoo babadoo ble, Jingle. We hope you like the Jingle, Jingle. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bap. Jingle! Hello and welcome back.

Thank you for coming back. What episode is this? This is episode 54. 54. Shut the bed. Firstly, just from ourselves, I know Chris mentioned it there, we just want to say a huge huge thank you to everyone who has bought tickets

for the tour to everyone who has bought the book we are currently living in a little bubble of misbelief right now yeah it's craziness

our house is very very surreal at the moment did you mean did you mean disbelief what did I say misbelief well listen

never said little bit in all when you say things like misbelief that A, listen. Never said. A little bit more when you say things like misbelief that A, the book's going to fail and B, you're going to turn up

with a new character called Misbelief. Oh. Misbelief. She's a fairy from the forest of Eden. Disbelief. Disbelief.

Sorry. Amazing though. No, it's fine. I just literally it sounds like a character. Misbelief. Yeah, buzzing. We're just buzzing. You had a little lie down didn't you? I did. It was Amazing, though. No, it's fine. I just literally, it sounds like a character. Mythbelief. Yeah, buzzing. We're just buzzing.

You had a little lie down, didn't you? I did. It's all, it's just loads to take in. And the fact that we're even trying to do Wembley is, I kind of, I had a cry in the shower. I've cried nearly every day in the shower. Best place to cry. No one can tell. Yeah, true.

True. You come out and you're just wet anyway so it's fine um but yeah thank you so much and uh oh i didn't know you were crying in the shower because i've cried nearly every day oh darling well you left the hotel that we were in on the on friday morning when we announced the tickets and they all went on sale and it went like barnstorming and i watched your instagram stories and you went in a taxi crying and i like rang you and i was like are you okay you're like i'm just it's You were like, yeah, I'm just taking. It's a lot to take in.

Yeah, it is. But look, it's going to be awesome. Thank you for your tickets already. The new tickets are on sale now. Please, as I say, don't buy from touts. I'd rather, would rather have the empty seats. There's touts selling tickets for hundreds of pounds. Don't.

Yeah. It's not, it's not worth hundreds of pounds. Look, I know what we're worth. We're not, not for a couple hours the terrifying thing is people have been

sending me pictures of the tickets that have been sent already and I'm like oh right so we have to sort out what

we're going to do we have to definitely do this we've got some lush stuff planned it's going to be great so thank you very much and

we'll hopefully see you all there see you there your bloody beauties imagine if all of them bought us a glass of wine

how many wines would I have? That don't because that's just I've literally got a panic attack thinking about how much wine there's going to be there. Don't buy we'll bring our own wine.

If they could buy them glasses that have got the little cap on top I wouldn't mind that. Why? Why not? Wine glass with a lid? Yeah you get them from Marks.

They've got like a little they're a little plastic cup and they've got a little It's like a yoghurt. Like a yoghurt but wine. And I've got a little it's like a yoghurt like a yoghurt but wine and I've got a little song about it oh which is

little bottles of wine make me feel fine there we are hey fantastic thank you Wembley Wembley

Wembley bloody Wembley oh mad I would ask what you've been up to but oh just having panic attacks it's very similar to what I've been up to

yeah just having panic attacks and you know waking up in the middle of the night thinking no one's going to buy tickets. And then when they all bought tickets, putting the new dates on, announcing them, then waking up in the middle of the night thinking there's no one left to buy tickets. In my head, everyone who wanted a ticket got it. And now everyone's going to go, no, there's no one else. But they didn't though, because I got a lot of messages from people annoyed that they didn't get tickets. So hopefully those 20 people will buy the extras.

Bring your mates to Wembley, guys! So you went out with the weekend for a little celebration, didn't you, with your mum and your sister? Yeah. And a couple of your mates. Yeah. Now you came in Saturday night drunk, woke me up and began telling me about a story that had happened.

Would you like to would you like to enlighten our dear listeners well I think the smiles will enjoy this and it was one of those weird it was one of those moments

where you just think is this really happening and it did really happen so yeah out with my mum and my sister and we saw two of my friends there

and we were all sat end of the night everyone was a little bit merry it was about midnight and the pub was closing so we all had to go to the bottom end of the pub while we're waiting for our taxi got the bottom end of the pub um and we thought you know what let's let's um remember this moment and take a little picture so we asked a man who was just stood would you mind taking a picture of us right please my Please. My sister asked him. He took the picture.

He actually dropped her phone, which was very annoying, but it was fine. And then he left. And then what happened after that, Chris, was his girlfriend proceeded to shout abuse at us for approximately 12 minutes or so.

12 minutes! To the point of where I was a little bit concerned about her because I thought she has just lost the plot right now. Our boyfriend was nowhere to be seen. So he disappeared. He disappeared. What was she shouting? Okay, so she was shouting,

why are you looking at me, boyfriend? Great. To everyone. A 12-year-old would shout. Well, the are you looking at me, boyfriend? Great. To everyone. A 12-year-old would shout. Well, the best bit was my friend, who hadn't actually seen my sister give the man the phone and was a bit drunk anyway, didn't really realise we'd had a picture taken, was very much of the, who's our boyfriend? Who are we looking at?

That kind of thing. Sandra got the giggles because it was a bit ridiculous so then she started shouting sandra bloody scrapping on a saturday night sandra got the giggles so the girl proceeded to shout um don't be laughing at me don't be laughing at me and then translation that is don't laugh at me don't laugh at me and then it got very it got really intense where somehow, somehow the lady got onto the thought of that, that we wanted her boyfriend to finger us all. Right. And what gave you the idea that she was thinking that?

Well, because she shouted, he's never going to finger you. That is, that's my favourite catchphrase ever he doesn't want to finger you he's never gonna finger you

to the other part my friend is still going who is she talking about who wants to finger us it got a little bit insane I left it

Kate was like just leave it it's not worth it her friend was sat on her phone just like it must happen all the time

I love that when you see someone kicking off and when like you've never seen it before and it's always good to look at their mate because their mate

you can see the look on their face where they're just like another Saturday night out with Sharon she's shouting the fingering thing again great

just ordering a fucking Uber she's just an order on a fucking Uber. She's just like losing her mind. And so her friend was just not phased at all. He's never gonna finger you.

He's never gonna finger you. He doesn't want so venomous. He doesn't want to finger you. He wouldn't finger you in a million years. Why do you want to get I was like

why is fingering come into this? He wasn't even there this he wasn't even there he wasn't even there so he just disappeared he disappeared he disappeared and then well it brought i was really good okay i didn't i just ignored her i was like oh wow let's just leave that she's clearly she wants to start a fight and we're not gonna give her it and bloody blah she's whatever let her i lost my cool chris did you right we got outside doesn't sound like you well i did i held it in for so long um and then i really lost my cool

because we were outside she was getting into her taxi we were getting in our taxi and she shouted to us whilst laughing bye bitches laughing laughing like it had all been a joke yeah like it had all been some funny little joke yep where actually she ruined the end of our night by shouting about fingering

when nobody really wanted to get fingered because we're all over 30 stop lying and we're married and we can't be arsed with fingering you all wanted to be fingered well whatever and then

I really lost my cool because she was laughing her head off getting into our taxi shouting bye bitches and I thought do you know what it is no you are you stupid little girl

go and get fingered so as of now I'm going to open a merch shop on the brand new Shag Marinoid website there's going to be brand new t-shirts on the front it's going to say

he wouldn't finger you in a million years on the back it's going to say bye bitches so copyright Shag Marinoid 2020 they'll be out shortly honestly I love that so you see that and on the back it's going to say bye bitches so copyright Shagmari Noids 2020 they'll be out shortly

honestly I love that so you see that as a man as well you see that on the night set as well I'm sure everyone listening has had

you know we've all been at taxi ranks and we've seen people kicking off or whatever for me it's the I'm always astounded by the people

who can have a huge massive argument or an actual physical fight and then go on with the night like it never happened i know so she's like laughing like if i am ever in an altercation where i've got to physically you know get someone out of the way i'll draw the way someone i'll calm someone down i'll argue with so

i'm like shaking for three hours and i will go to the toilet and cry yeah like no no it's ridiculous chris it was so ridiculous i thought i was getting punked yeah do you remember do you know punk that program i was like because she she'd gone in on us so much and by herself just like what and then tim and sit are laughing their head off getting the taxi yeah oh hey it's always i'm getting i'm angry thinking about it now it's always that thing when there's one person shouting at a big group of people you're always in your head think well this person's obviously unhinged and probably a psychopath yeah because they're shouting at loads of people yeah i tell you years ago i uh went to visit my mate in uni and uh we're in the just in like the little common room thing in his halls more like having a drink and one of the lads ran in and he'd been asleep in his room and like these 10 lads had like came

into his room and started like smashing his room up right and he came in to see us and he was like these dads have done it and we all ran outside to see these lads and we came into his room and started like smashing his room up. Right. And he came in to see us and he was like, these lads have done it. And we all ran outside to see these lads and we're all arguing with them. And one of them was doing the main argument and like his mates all like walked away while he was arguing, while we're arguing with this guy. Right. And they all let,

and we were like, well, I remember one of the lads was like, you know, all your mates have gone and left you. And this guy went, uh, that's because I'm a professional boxer and the norm about to put us all in hospital and we all shut

our pants and left and i remember like about an hour later going i think he just had our lives there yeah do you think he was just i think he i think his mates left because they thought it was going to be a huge fight and i think he's actually just confidence boost fucked us yeah he was full of it but we all went oh he sounds yeah he sounds dangerous he's never gonna finger us a million years and we all just left there's sharon in the background he would never finger you he's a professional boxer he kind of fingered with his gloves on unbelievable where'd you get fingering where did that come from i don't know but you know what it is right i always like it when i hear ladies talk about finger because i always think it's a silly thing that boys

laugh about but you know it's nice to know that both the sexes are joking and talking about fingering i just like that maybe sharon is a full-on new age feminist actually yeah and she's just bringing fingering into the nation maybe she is desperate for him to finger her and this was her way of getting and he never does and when she has a few drinks it comes out like me do i mean like maybe every maybe he's like not before we're married sharon not before And this was her way of getting fingered. And he never does. And when she has a few drinks, it comes out. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, maybe he's like, not before we're married, Sharon. Not before we're married.

No, Jesus is me only, whatever. Like, right? So she... And then she has a few drinks and sees him literally taking a photo for someone. And he goes, ah, yeah, you think he's going to think? You think again. Valentine's Day, no fingering. Christmas, no fingering. We set the date.

Four years we're getting married while he saves up. What, he's fingering? I am begging for a finger up in this bitch. And then, that's what's happened when she's shouting by bitches. She's literally getting fingered in the taxi. He might have went, you know what, Sharon, you've made such a scene, I get it. Look, I'm going to make an exception. I give in.

I've spoke to me. You know, I went and had a word with me, with me Look, I'm going to make an exception. I give in. I've spoke to me, you know, I've went and had a word with me Lord. I'm allowed to do it once on this night. But only if you don't look at us while it's happening. So put your head out of that taxi window. Jesus Christ. I don't think I've ever died. I've said this story so much in my life.

That's what's happened. And Sharon, if you're listening, I forgive you. It story so much in my life. That's what happened and Sharon if you're listening I forgive you. It's time for Watcha Beef. I was going to be Rebecca but no I was going to be Sharon

from the pub saying finger but you sprung it on us too quick. So Sharon Beef is what? I was literally going to introduce Sharon Right

From the pub Do it again It's time for What's Your Beef? Hello, is that Chris Ramsey? Yes This is Sharon from the pub Here you've just been talking about us Yes

Not being funny like But my lad would never finger you He wouldn't finger me In a million years, no He wouldn't finger me lad would never finger you in a million years. He wouldn't finger me either. Wouldn't finger you, wouldn't finger your ma, wouldn't finger your da,

wouldn't finger your cousin. Do not bring my mom into this. Listen, you would not finger your ma in a million years. So leave it outright. And next time you all asses out. Sharon.

What? Where's the sangha coming from? Yeah, I haven't been fingered. I knew it. In over 20 years. 20 years? 20 years.

I've not had any fingers up me for 20 years. And I swear to God, like, it's closing up. It's been so long. Oh, nah. Nah. It's true. And I'm sorry, right, but when I'm on a night out, it's getting really crass about it. And, like, it comes out in other ways. And I'm sorry, right, but when I'm on a night out, it's getting really crass about it.

And, like, it comes out in other ways. And I don't mean it, eh? Why don't you just break up with him and get another... Listen, he's got really nice fingers. And I look at them all the time and I think, oh, yeah, just put them up his. And he never does. So I'm staying with him

we're working through it right and listen one day I'll get fingered and I'll get I'll ring you back right

anyway and I Barry you know Barry do you he was my last finger 20 years ago 20 year alright I've got to go okay thank you for that

thanks Sharon if you say my lad tell him where's her finger where's her finger anyone outside the northeast just I can only apologise for what just happened that was if you're from the northeast just i'm i can only apologize for what just happened that was

if you're from the northeast you did recognize that impression if not just just be afraid be away and be afraid bye goodbye bitches yeah how could you forget a catchphrase oh great that was actually quite scary You actually sounded like every drunken chav lass in the past who's asked us for money on the metro. Yeah, I've been started on loads of times by people like that. People who sound exactly like that. Do you know that actual voice apparently comes from smoking too much weed? That at the back of the voice.

Oh, is it? Yeah, apparently it comes from smoking too much weed. And apparently, I think a king, one king sort of chav had it years and years ago then all the rest of them like copied off him. Kind of like, you know how a king of Spain

once had a lisp so now all the Spanish accents talk with a lisp. It's kind of the same thing. What? Is that true? Yeah, yeah. So, you know, like, there's a lot of lisping

in the Spanish accent when he's speaking Spanish. Speak Spanish? Well, I can't speak Spanish, can I? What is chav Spanish? Like, donde esta? Donde esta? And all that. There's like, and apparently it was a Spanish king. Eh's speaking Spanish a lot. Speak Spanish? Well, I can't speak Spanish, can I? What is Chav Spanish? Donde esta? Donde esta? And all that.

There's like, and apparently it was a Spanish king. Eh, Mambo. Mambo. That's Italian. That is literally Mambo Italiano.

That is literally a different accent. Literally different. But yeah, so I think it's the same kind of thing. I think like a King Chav once had it,

because he did smoke too much dope and then all the rest of the little Chavs copied. Another one for you, Northeast Chav. I came up with this, right? This is my theory.

You know how chavs used to wear, we're talking in the 90s, you know, you used to wear their caps in the air, the peak of the cap in the air. Do you know where that came from? I worked this out the other day. I worked it out the other day. No, I don't know where it's come from.

So I had a cap on and I was playing pool and you can't play pool with a cap on because you can't see because you've got to put your head right down and look up and you can see the peak of your cap. So I had to do it. So I had a cap on and I was playing pool and you can't play pool with a cap on because you can't see because you've got to put your head right down and look up and you can see the peak of your cap. So I had to pull the peak

all the way up to the back of my head. They were always in the arcades, weren't they, playing pool and that? That's what it's from. Wow. Worked it out.

See, you might be listening now thinking, God, what are they talking about? But give it 200 years, people are going to be talking about this.

It's going to go down in history. I'm going to have a PhD in chav cabbage chav cabbage that'll be a thing one day people talk about teddy boys and stuff you know the gangsters

and all that and they have the razor blades and the blinders and all that they'll be talking about chavs the same can't we yeah

they tuck the pants into the socks so that they can go faster on the bikes they've always got six packs always because they're on the bikes all've always got six packs always because they're on the bikes all the time like bloody whip it yeah yeah funny that so there you go you're welcome um what is your beef my beef with you this week is very the quickest it is the most i think other

than when i change it on the spot when you say a beef and i have to quickly change it to combat your beef um you walked in i saw you have to quickly change it to combat your beef. You walked in, I saw you today in the office, right? Sitting, doing your little fingerprint thing on your laptop that I got you. You were working out your little fingerprint. I was keying it in. Yeah, you were letting it learn your fingerprint. You walked in just as I was setting up all the podcast gear

and opened your laptop with your finger and went, eee, I can open my laptop with my fingerprint. Isn't that amazing? I literally sat you down when I got you that laptop and said, store your fingerprint so you can open my laptop, my fingerprint. Isn't that amazing? I literally sat you down when I got you that laptop and said, store your fingerprint so you can open your fingerprint.

And you actually said the words, I don't want to do it. It's pointless. I haven't got time. And you actually called us a nerd. And then you come in and tell me how amazing you are that you can open your fingerprint.

And I'm raging. Well, I've just found the time to do it. Mental. Why can't I experience anything on my own? Why have you got to be a part of it? Why can't I just take the time to do it. Mental. Why can't I experience anything on my own? Why have you got to be a part of it? Why can't I just take the few weeks to realize that I would like to do it by myself? I've upgraded it and everything.

First of all, very, very annoying that I got you that laptop for Christmas and you've only just put your fingerprint on it now. It's only March. It's just March. Do you know your laptop has had less finger action than Sharon? Oh, I might call my laptop.

I haven't named this laptop yet. I might call her Sharon. And she recognises my finger. Oh, Sharon. Little Shaz. Love you. So yeah, you basically told us to stick it up my arse and then you came in explaining how amazing the fingerprint is.

Very irritating. Well. It's like it's up there with when you say to in explaining how amazing the fingerprint is. Very irritating. Well. It's like, it's up there with when someone, when you say to someone you should watch this TV show and they go, nah. And then like a year later

they go, oh, I'm watching this show, it's amazing. And you go, I fucking told you to watch that. No, only you do that. You want to own everything, actually. Eesh.

My beef with you this week is that you are absolutely obsessed with Siri. Right. I cannot stand Siri and I didn't think that people actually use Siri. You know who I thought used Siri? Who? Old nanas.

I thought old nanas. I was like, oh, Siri's a bit strange. It's been on there for ages but nobody uses it. You use it now all the time. You know what? Do you know why I use it, right? I'll use it if I'm getting ready. If I'm busy getting ready and I'll say, hey Siri, what's the temperature?

Oh God, no you don't. I do, I say what's the temperature so I'm getting ready. You live in the northeast of England and it's March. You can guess

what the temperature is. Are you worried it's going to be like 19 degrees? El Scorcho when you get outside. We might be in a storm. We might be in the eye of a storm.

It was all calm and hot. Might be a little heat wave coming in. I'll tell you now, it'll be between one and nine, that temperature. Very broad, that. That's not. It's definitely cold weather.

Do I need a vest under my T-shirt or not? No, you need a T-shirt, a jump and a coat. Oh, he has another beef for you, actually. Talking about coats, you went to London last week. I don't need a coat.

Well, do you not want to take a coat just in case? No, I don't need a coat. I'm going to be going from Carter. Don't need a coat. Don't need a coat. I went, Chris, I think you might need a coat. It's winter. You'll probably need a coat. Get your coat just in case. No, I don't need a coat. I'm going to be going from Carter. Don't need a coat. Don't need a coat. I went, Chris, I think you might need a coat. It's winter.

You'll probably need a coat. Get your coat. Oh, I can't believe you're making us take my coat. Stood on the train station, freezing. I'm glad I brought my coat. It's like having another child and I can't bear it. Why wouldn't you? If you're going away for a couple of days in England in March,

why wouldn't you take your coat? Who do you think you are? Thor. Are you hot? Who's the hot one? Not Thor. Who's the hot one? Fantastic.

Him's the fire one. Fire on. Johnny Flame or whatever it's called. Johnny Flame. Who do you think you are? Johnny Flame. Oh, hey. Hey, Siri.

Tell Rosie to piss off. I won't respond to that. Well, that's... He's had you. He's had your life. Sit down. Sit down, Ramsey. Sit down.

Sit down. It's time for Questions from the public Questions from the pews And the queues Public Public Public Queues

Right Who wants to go first Because I've got some this week as well I know one Erm I'll go first Okie kokie I've got a few

I've got a long nice one I've got a couple of nice I've got a couple of I've got a long, nice one. I've got a couple of short ones. Okay. Hi, Chris and Rosie. Listening from Canada. Oh, wow. Hello.

Love the podcast. Keep them coming. We shall do. Yeah. I have an odd situation and wondered if I could have your advice. Of course. There are three characters in this story. Myself, alias Sarah, Jake, and Chris.

Doesn't mention if you've just given them aliases. Can we just mention here? myself alias Sarah, Jake and Chris. I ran into... Doesn't mention if you've just given them aliases can we just mention here? It doesn't know. So, well, Canada. They might not all be listening. Okay. Are you ready? Yeah.

So there's Sarah, Jake and Chris. I ran into an old friend, Jake, at a party. We were flirting and I thought it might go some way. Everyone got drunk and slept over. So I ended up in bed between him and a guy named Chris. Oh God. In the middle of the night, I got hot and got out to sleep on the floor for a bit. But neither of them realised.

And they ended up making out with each other. Both thinking it was me they were kissing. out with each other both thinking it was me they were kissing this was discovered in a very funny conversation between the three of us um my thing with reading this was yeah very funny lovely little mix-up how did they not know I mean I'm guessing they were both clean shaved really clean shaven and it's the dark and they might have literally started

kissing and thought this she's not this is weird but just kept going I just think you'd know I don't know

and I'm not prepared to put myself in a situation where I want to find out I think I would know the difference do you reckon I don't

yeah in the dark if it's someone you've never kissed before in the dark maybe maybe and you're drunk you could start off I think I would know the difference Do you reckon? I don't Yeah In the dark If it's someone you've never kissed before In the dark Maybe And you're drunk You could start off I suppose

Couldn't you? You could start off kissing Glad I didn't get the finger involved That would have been awkward What's What's this? The question is Do you think I can still ask Jake out

or has the moment passed considering our first kiss was actually his first kiss with Chris? Hey! I think you should. Definitely. That's great. It's a brilliant story. Yeah, it's a fantastic story.

Maybe Jake and Chris will get together? I'm already jealous of the best man at their wedding getting to use that story. It is a very good story. Yeah. You need to tell the best man. Yeah, that needs to be story it is a very good story yeah you need to tell the best but yeah that needs to be yeah i love that definitely still go out and you know hey if there's ever threesome on the cards i know who you call exactly so there we go chris chris not you though hopefully that would be a long way to go for a threesome would never do

it would you go to canada for a threesome i wouldn't go anywhere for a threesome if there's a threesome out of me garden i'd shutesome happening in my garden, I'd shut the curtains. Mingen, stop it, everyone. Stop doing it. I love that. I love that saying. Because you wouldn't. No, I wouldn't.

I'd go and get the hose. I'd hose them down. You know what? I wouldn't even get the... Rosie, I'd get the car chair. I'd get the jet washer. I'd take strips of their skin off their back. Dirty sods!

Imagine if we caught three people having a threesome in our garden. How exciting! Jokes aside, I don't know what I would do. Please no one come and have a threesome in the garden for shits and giggles. Here's a story. When I used to work in an office building in Sunderland,

we once caught a couple fingering in the car and we watched once caught a couple fingering in the car and we watched them for a good 15 minutes. Did they work there? No, no, they didn't work there.

They were just in the car like underneath the office block and we were like, you could see everything and we all watched them. Of course you did, yeah. For a long time. That's officers, isn't it?

Yeah, literally. Like, important work to do. See this pigeon outside? Everyone at the window so yeah fingering oh my god what with fingering

did it we ran I like rang all of the levels and everyone was like come down reception company wide email

reception come and see this luckily it was before camera phones because yeah we've been all over that yes

babadoo babadoo babadoo Yeah Got one for you here Hello Chris and Rosie My girlfriend recently found out that I watch porn The odd time when sorting myself out And absolutely flipped her lid According to her That's as bad as cheating As it is thinking about someone else

I said to her surely when she does it She's not always thinking about me, but she claims she is. Brackets, I've seen me naked and I'm no fucking Ryan Reynolds. So I'm calling bullshit. I told her it was only the odd time, but she was still livid.

I've always thought it was a pretty normal thing to do, am I wrong? First of all, you're lying lying it wasn't the odd time you do it every time she leaves the house next oh what are you getting jealous

about porn for that's mad isn't it you're kind of getting jealous about porn what is your life going to be mate honestly

I would knock that on the head are they married nah girlfriend my girlfriend recently found out I watch porn are they young

I don't know I don't know I don't know god don't tell her that her dad watches porn she'll freak right out because every man does that's not a nice thing no you're kind of

getting jealous of someone watching porn nah it's not real man no it's not real at all watch some documentary watch a Louis Theroux and then you'll realise.

What do you think about her claim that whenever she sorts herself out she's always thinking about him? Absolutely not. Absolutely not. For a million years. She needs to go to college and have a little imagination.

Yeah, no, she doesn't. No. No. I don't even, I don't even know what that is. I should have got season name you're invited to an immersive

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You must be very careful, Margaret. It's a girl. Witness the birth. Bad things will start to happen. Evil things careful, Margaret. It's a girl. Witness the birth. Bad things will start to happen. Evil things. Of evil. It's all. No, don't.

The first omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil. Movie of the year. It's not real.

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Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com. Right. Now, I read this next question, right? Yeah. And it just, it sounded to me like it was me and you. These people are me and you. Okay. Dear Rosie and Chris,

me and my husband had the biggest argument of our five-month marriage last week over a who smashed the plate situation. We were hoping you guys could settle the argument for us. Okay, we'll try. So, I had a very nice plate to put cakes on. I know. It's already really weird, but okay.

I know what kind of plate that they're talking about. It was a special plate my mum had bought a few years ago. I stored it inside. It's got meaning. Yeah. It's got meaning. I stored it inside my plastic cake carrier, which has four plastic clips and a handle.

I mean, I'm loving the cake preparation. Right. Right, just stored it inside a plastic cake carrier that's got clips in it. Yeah. I put the plate away one day and must have forgotten to close two of the four clips.

I had safely taken the cake carrier with said plate in and out of the cupboard multiple times without smashing the plate, even with the clips open. However, one evening last week, my husband lifted it out of the cupboard by the handle and the plate slipped out

and smashed on the floor. My husband then came in to tell me that this had happened. Oh, gosh. Oh, what's he playing at? very deep into this argument and I've decided that in a court of law, he would be tried for manslaughter of the plate rather than the murder, but he is still guilty. He claims that I set up the murder of the plate because for not closing the clips, I'm guilty more than him.

Tell us your thoughts, please. That's the kind of shit we would argue about for like fucking weeks and weeks and weeks. Really? A plate? No, the blame.

The blame of it. Well, you see, right, he's done it all wrong. Right.'s he's done it all wrong right he's completely done it all wrong okay because he'd have been better off going in and saying i've broke this plate yeah so sorry and then leaving it at that but no he's come in and said i've broke the plate you didn't put it away properly but at the end of the day, you're the one who broke the plate. Right. So I am completely on her side. Right. And he is

absolutely in the wrong. He's a plate breaker. He's a live destroyer. Life destroyer. He's a memory smasher. And he's a lion thief. Why is he a lion? Because he clearly is.

So, no, he's in the wrong. He should have just said, I'm sorry I smashed your plate. And then she went, oh, I'm a bit gutted about that, but it's just a plate. It's fine. But no, he's made it into this whole bigger thing, and he's an arsehole. So you think the fact that he immediately put blame on her is a sign that he's guilty? Absolutely. He smashed the plate. But. So you think the fact that he immediately put blame on her is a sign that he's guilty? Absolutely. He smashed the plate.

But she didn't put the clip. Oh, and you, you'd be on his side. And you, you'd be on his side. No, I'm sorry, Chris. Chris, come on. Who smashed the plate? Right. He smashed the plate.

There's no other evidence you need Other than that Why was he getting it out of the cupboard? I need to know that Why was he? Exactly Had she said get that out of the cupboard? Or was he moving it? And did he not realise?

I think when you pick something up You know that two of the four clips aren't clipped You can probably feel Come on I don't know Come on Make a decision I think they both smashed the plate

I'm going to give you three seconds To make a decision They can't both go to make a decision they can't both go to jail and they can't both be innocent you need to pick a side right

right I'm going to give you a three one two three her fault you prick

it's not she didn't close the thing properly she should close it properly but you shouldn't you shouldn't be such butterfingers and be careful

but he wasn't he picked it up by the handle which should have been working if the But you shouldn't be such butterfingers and be careful. But he picked it up by the handle, which should have been working if the clips were closed properly by the person who put it away. And that was her. Change of mind, haven't I? Well, it could have just been avoided if he just said,

sorry if I smashed the plate. Oh, yeah, I agree with that. Yeah. Okay, then. Well, then, there you go. We'll agree to disagree. Right, this one is a bit of a long one. We'll agree to disagree. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Right, this one is a bit of a long one.

I haven't got around to it just yet, but it's been sitting on my laptop for a while, and I've been waiting for the opportunity. Call it a dust. Right, okay. Okay. Hi, Chris and Rosie. Apologies for the wall of text,

but my wife has been pestering me to send this story into you for a while now, so here it goes. Back in the mid-naughties, Apologies for the wall of text, but my wife has been pestering me to send this story into you for a while now. So here goes. Back in the mid-naughties, a guy went out for a gig with some of my mates. So he's the guy. I, a guy, went out for a gig. And it was a wolf mother? It's a band, yeah.

Yeah. With some of my mates. It was a great gig. And to date, it's been the only one I've ever crowd surfed. That's pretty cool. Anyway, after the gig we arranged to meet up

with some girls we knew because one of them was sharing a flat with one of the guys. We all got along well and started to pair off before ending up back at the flat

that two of them shared where the drinks continued to flow. The only beer they had was Stella, which isn't a favourite of mine, but beggars can't be choosers. It's true. Anyway, after some sociable post-nightclub chat, things were looking like they'd be progressing to the next stage soon. So, I popped in a couple of chewing gum pellets and started to chew. I didn't want my breath to smell of the previous hours of lager,

the latter of which I didn't even like. Who the fuck calls them chewing gum pellets? This guy. It's a bit strange, isn't it? Chewing gum pellets? What, are you a horse? Pellets? They are like pellets. They are? Do you know what it is, right? It's annoyed us because it's weird and it's annoyed us because he's kind of right.

It is. It's too... What's the word? So he's lived in a world where the sticks used to be the thing. Yeah. The long sticks. Remember them? The wriggly long sticks that you'd fold into your mouth. Yeah.

Listen, don't slag off the older generation. Sorry, it's just annoyed us. Listeners, this is fine. You ready? Yeah. Popped in two chewing gums. All right? Didn't want to have a stellar breath.

Got you. Shortly after, you might want to have a stellar breath got you shortly after you might want to take a leaf out of his boot Chris actually oh wow just when you come in

from a night out and say goodnight to me with your monkey beer breath which is disgusting brilliant yeah just come in and regale you with stories about women

shouting fingering in the street oh no that was you and you stank while you were doing it listen Robin enjoyed it stale tuna stale taxi driver tuna and then a full night of drinking and shouting the double take And you stank while you were doing it. Listen, Robin enjoyed it. Stale tuna. Stale taxi driver tuna and then a full night of drinking and shouting. The double take, taxi tuna.

Right, shortly after, we retired to the respective bedrooms and the girl and I get into her bed and down to business. Oh, God. I managed to hide the chewing gum to one side of my mouth for the kissing and almost forget about it.

Things progress and before I know it, I've manoeuvred myself down the bed and started to give her a good tongue blasting. Is that what he's wrote? He's wrote tongue blasting. You horrible man. So he's gone from chewing gum pellets to tongue blasting. Work on your phrases, man.

Oh, gosh. It takes a minute or two, but then I remember the chewing gum and think, well, if I manage to kiss her okay, this shouldn't be too much of an issue. Oh, I feel sick. I feel sick. Unfortunately, after an indeterminate...

Indeterminate? What's that? Indeterminate? Indeterminate?eterminate what's that? Indeterminate? Indeterminate amount of time. I'm telling you right now I've never known that word. I've never known how to say that word.

Indeterminate. I say it really quick. Indomitant. Is it indomitant? No. I say it really quick so no one realises but you know what

you went past that point a while ago. Sorry. Well you know what guys you know what I mean. So after an unknown amount of time, the chewing gum is dislodged and drops into her pubes. Oh, my God.

Oh, man. I slightly panic and try to suck it out, but instead it just gets further caught in her hair. So I get back to the job at hand and think, I'll mention it later and we'll have a good laugh about it. I'll mention it later. I'll mention it later. I'll mention it later.

I'll mention that later. Yeah. Oh, God. I don't want to know. I mean, in my head, I know what's happened. There's more. But carry on. Yeah.

After we finished however we pretty much fall asleep instantly then in the morning we say our awkward goodbyes and I was just too scared to bring it up thinking that I'll probably

not see her again anyway needless to say I had to tell my mates how I missed up and from then on I was known as Minty Minj oh fuck

can I just say to the lads who made that nickname up Minty Minge. Oh, fuck. Can I just say, to the lads who made that nickname up, Minty Minge. Minty Minge. Absolutely fantastic work, gentlemen. It would be lovely if he was called Mike. Yeah, Minty Minge Mike.

Minty Minge Mike. However, a couple of weeks later, I'm out with the same lads and happen to end up meeting with the same girls again. I pull her aside and tell her I owe her an apology to which she says what for and as I can't bring myself to say the words I just say I'm sorry for being so drunk the last time I saw her. She says not to worry about it and as time went on she was clearly interested in inviting me back to hers again. This time I made sure not to eat any chewing gum and things were going well. However I didn't have any condoms on me

so when it got to that stage I had to nip into the next room to ask my mate and he gave me one. I jumped back into bed and unwrapped the condom and put it on then get to it. Pretty quickly I realised that something was wrong and noticed a tingling on my willy. Then it started to go numb. Turns out it was a mint or menthol condom that I'd put on inside out. It wasn't painful but it meant I could hardly feel a thing and the lack of feeling must have contributed to an uncertain rhythm because at one point I banged my nose off her head and although it wasn't sore it was enough to trigger a brief nosebleed with just a drip of blood smeared across her cheek. Fucking hell where's this come from? This is horrendous. Poor girl.

After the events of the first meeting, I didn't want to embarrass myself again. So naturally, I gave her some big sloppy kisses, which also took in enough of her cheek to try and lick off the blood. For God's sake. While trying to accomplish this tricky task of licking her face without making it obvious that's what I was doing. I was, of of course going through the motions but without actually feeling anything then went on for a bit but without the benefits

it was basically just exercise so i eventually faked an orgasm for the one and only time in my life just to make it stop god god there's so much to take in so right a he didn't have the condom on inside out i'm familiar with them kind of condoms. And the artist, to decrease the sensitivity. Oh, right, okay. Right. So that's what they're for. So he had it on the right way.

Why would it... Is he mad? Why would it be the other way? Why would it be so the woman can't feel anything? Is he stupid? But if it was inside out, how can you put a condom... It wouldn't roll down. Rosie, some of the stuff we've heard people doing it would roll up yeah you'd have to like what i'm saying is he had it on the right way okay it was on the right way it

was like a slight numbing gel it'll be like a numbing gel how can we just go back a little bit yeah how did she not know she had chewing gum in her pubes where did it go what happened it went in her pubes i honestly thought he was gonna see it i thought he's gonna see when he had sex with her next time he found it in there no she's not mentioned it go? What happened? It went in her pubes. I honestly thought he was going to see it. She's not even mentioned it. I thought he was going to see it when he had sex with her the next time he found it in there. No, she's not mentioned it. Like hooker duck. That would have been like the twits. The cornflakes in the beards. I don't

know where this chewing gum ended up. Is it weird that I'm now slightly worried about where this chewing gum ended up? Where do you think it is? Inside. It takes seven years to come out if you eat it. Where do you think it is? Inside. It takes seven years to come out if you eat it. Imagine how much longer it would take to come out if it's in there.

Imagine if she had a bane. Push the bane out and the bit of chewing. Comes out chewing. Alright. Mum, I found this. Lost all its flavour. Lost all its... Rosie, as you know, I went through the emails this week

and I have found a fecal-related email. Well, I was trying to do less of the poo stories. Well, you shouldn't let me go through the email. Play the jingle. Ready? Let's talk about shit, baby. Let's talk about poo and wee. Let's talk about all the good shits,

all the bad shits that have been. Let's talk about shit. I'm ready. Let's talk about shit. With a little bit of shit. Oh, well done. Let's talk about shit. Yes!

Shag married and shit! Yes! Yes! Well done, Chris. Right, now.. About shit. Yes! Shag married and shit! Yes! Yes! Well done, Chris. Right, now. First time ever. This story for me isn't about, I'm going to actually dumb down how much detail

the lady has gone into about all of the disgusting, bum-based sort of product, right? Because it's not about that. And you'll see by the time we get to the end, right? Okay. I took my husband to be to Mexico for his 40th birthday. It was a surprise, may I add. And what a surprise he had.

We went out on a pub crawl with the reps. I already don't want to be on this holiday. Where did they go? Mexico? Mexico. And they went on a pub crawl with the reps. We were drinking vodka and Red Bull all night, dancing on the tables, doing shots,

having the time of our lives very good I'd been constipated for four days so I took a laxative that morning mint and just forgot about it

Rosie and just went out dancing on tables risky it's not a good idea right not a good idea had the best night ever

don't remember going home the next thing I wake up on the bathroom floor covered in head to toe. In. And I'm not even going to say it because she says it a million times. We all know what she's covered in, guys.

Yeah? Cum. No. Awful. I panicked, still drunk, tried to wipe it up and tried to wipe it off everything. It was all over the walls,

all over the floor, all over the toilet and myself. I was mortified. I was trying to be discreet and I peeped in on my husband-to-be to see if I'd woken him up, only to find a massive pile of it in the bed next to him, and he was asleep next to it. I was that rough. This is the worst.

I was that rough and drunk. I couldn't cope anymore, so I just dove back into bed and slept on it. No. No. Yes. What? Yes. Yes. No. Yes. What? Yes. Yes.

Yes. Isn't that horrendous? Is that the end? No. No. So, right, no, hang on. So, she's woke up in the bathroom on the floor

covered in the brown stuff, right? And it's in her bed. He's asleep. And she's just thought, you know what? Sod it. I'm literally just going to get back into bed. Climbed back in and went to sleep.

Unbelievable. Some people are animals. This is grotesque. This is... Well, it gets... She's found the right person. You know when you read a story, you hear and you go,

are you with the right person? Is this your soulmate? I think it is. Because he's just as bad as her, right? Oh, no. He woke up heaving. The room stunk. It was dried.

And I want to just sort of skim over this. It was dried on her. He put her in the shower. He sprayed her in the shower. He had bin bags on his arms to clean it off her. And it was a nightmare, right? Probably an erection. That, no.

You would never do that for me. You would never do that for me in a million years. I would never do that for me you would never do that for me i would never do that for you i would i would no word of a lie no word of a lie i would probably get off on it i would get a different hotel room yeah i wouldn't blame you i would literally come out i'd go i need a new room and i'll go get and i would literally leave you and go give us a shout when you've sorted all that up yeah yeah give me a shout so to skip a couple of ridiculously disgusting bits the maid knocked he kind of gave the maid all the sheets and everything, and it was the worst, right? We get home, and he asked me to go and get the holiday pictures developed.

I knew all the girls in Max Spielman. I'm assuming that's a... That's the old... This is back in the day. This is where you used to get your cameras developed. Okay, we'll strap in. Okay. I knew all the girls and was excited to collect the pics.

I opened them and one by one every picture on the camera was of me asleep, covered in shit. He had took them all

while I was asleep. No way. I was mortified everyone had seen it. Oh no. Was that his payback that's what he did he woke up

realised on a disposable camera took loads of photos of her covered in it went go and get them developed and it was all

she literally collected a week's worth of photos of a camera and there were all of her asleep in her own mess what

and if they are not meant to be together I don't know who is no that's horrible that's horrible of her asleep in her own mess. What? And if they are not meant to be together, I don't know who is. No. That's horrible. It's unbelievable. It was twists and turns.

Twists and turns in that story. I just... Whose first thought is, wake up, what's happening, this is disgusting, right, that's it, I'm going to take a load of photos of you here. Well, that's premeditated.

Incredible. How could he go back to sleep when the person that he loves is out cold in the bathroom, covered in her own shit? He's horrible. No, no. I think he was asleep.

She had done that, got herself to the bathroom, being covered in it. Then I think she woke up, came back in, went back to sleep. Then he woke up, saw it all,

took photos, then woke her up and helped clean. Oh, right. Okay. I think that's the, came back in, went back to sleep. Then he woke up, saw it all, took photos, then woke her up and helped clean. Oh, right, okay. I think that's the timeline we're working on here. I'm thinking he's noticed I in the bathroom on the floor and he's just took loads of pictures and went back to bed. I mean, I would have probably just dragged you to the sea and just thrown you in the sea.

You can't be going in the hotel pool. I don't understand how people can get that drunk. I mean, I've been drunk before, but never soiled myself drunk. And this is the clip I'm going to play back to you the day you do it. On repeat.

Where are you all going? Why aren't you using your phone camera? Why are you using that wind-on code? You'll see. You'll see. I know all the girls and maps great it's such a 90s thing i know all the girls in the in the in the photo place hey good old days right now i'm gonna read a question and it's got a little bit of sort of podcast fan

loving and i know sort of you know lovely all the emails start with we love the podcast blah blah blah and we never really read that out well this is a bit of self-congratulatory message but you'll you'll see right okay my wife is a huge fan of your podcast uh annoyingly he talks about how he has to keep turning up the tv so he's not listening so fuck you Dan set the scene it's about 10 o'clock we are both in the kitchen cleaning up preparing in lunch boxes for Tuesday

Hannah has your podcast on in the kitchen I am by the cooker cleaning and warming our one year old's milk in the microwave Hannah is by the sink taking her tablets Hannah takes her tablets in an odd way she takes a mouthful of squash holds her head back and drops her tablets Hannah takes her tablets in an odd way she takes a mouthful of squash holds her head back

and drops her tablets into her mouth how is that not the maddest what so I'll put the tablets in your mouth

granted the powdery and the don't taste very nice but you put them in your mouth and then you have a drink and then you have

a drink so this lady fills her mouth with the liquid leans her head back and opens her mouth and drops them in like she's dropping them into a bath.

Wow. But like, so she must close her throat off? Like gullet? No, no. So if you just lie back and open your mouth with water in it, it won't just go down your throat. Will it not? No. Well, opening the gullet is a skill that people use to neck pints really quickly and they can open it so it goes down.

It won't just go down. Pass me your water. Oh, this is going to be great. Right, there's your water there. Right. I'm waiting for you there. Right. What? Yeah, it doesn't go down. I just didn't realise. I've never done that before. I'm wasting everyone's time. So she takes a drink

and just drops her tablets in. Guys, she's trying it again because she doesn't believe the first time I could probably do that I mean it's really weird but I could it's so weird it's so weird

does anyone else in the world take their tablets like that drop them in with a mouth a reservoir of fucking mouth water everybody if you do that with your tablet shout

I do that now I'm facing away from her oh is there more right okay sorry I'm facing away from her and a's the more right okay sorry i'm facing away from her and a bit of your podcast comes on where chris is talking about how rosie says yogurt the next thing i hear is a snort a sound like a whale makes when it shoots water out of its hole and what sounds like gravel hitting the window i turn around thinking what the hell has happened

and hannah is bent over the sink with squash dripping from each nostril and her mouth open laughing hysterically i look at the window and her tablets are stuck to the window. I want to take a picture but she snatched my phone off me too quick. That's why you don't take tablets like that, Anna. And that's why, mate, you shouldn't have had your phone. You should have had a disposable camera

and made sure she knows all the girls in the shop. Exactly. Ladies and gentlemen, believe it or not, but we actually have again this week a celebrity question. Celebrity question! Celebrity question! Not just a celebrity, a dame. A dame. There is nothing like a dame.

Nothing in the world. Nothing looks like a dame. There is anything like a dame. No one cooks like a dame that is anything like a dame no one cooks like a dame what is no one something's like a dame what is this actually a song nice nothing like dame hi chris and rosie it's dame jessica ennis hill here i absolutely love your podcast and i'm totally addicted to it so i've got you a quick question. If you could win a

gold medal in anything, it doesn't have to be sport, what would it be and why? Oh, lovely question. Jessica, damn Jessica Ennis Hill, a fan of this. She sent it to us. That's how much she enjoys the podcast.

Thank you so so so much for that question it's an honor to have you on um what so so i'm guessing it is what do you think you're so good at that you'd get a gold medal for it yeah go i well maybe i'm not good at it because i've never tried but i would love to win a gold medal in an eating competition so not you're not even picking something saying is you would love to enter and win an eating competition great why just well I love eating yeah I can eat quite a lot just think would be a nice day out I just you know you know when you we grew up watching films right American films where it was lovely in the winter

like the fair and all that. And there'd always been eating competition on. Hot dog eating competition. Yeah, no way it does that here. And that was my childhood and I would really love to be somewhere and they'd be like, roll up, roll up. Come and join the pie eating competition.

Brilliant. And I would enter and I would really enjoy that. Wow. So you basically, you're not even mother of a goldmine, you just want to win. You want to be involved in an eating competition. I'd like to win as well, obviously, but I'd absolutely love to be in.

I'd just love to sign up and be like waiting. What would you eat? Do you know what? Right, okay, probably... Gergens. What a shit competition! Just fucking jars of gherkins. Or pancakes.

Or like cakes or something in general. Pancake cake, right. Now we're talking. Now we're talking. Biscuits. Gherkins. Biscuits. Shepherd's pie.

Shepherd's pie. Jack potato. I love jack potatoes. Oh God. Tuna. Tuna in a taxi. Tuna mayonnaise. I just would really like to...

Probably cliche. Hot dogs. Yeah. in a taxi tuna mayonnaise yeah I just would really like to probably cliche hot dogs yeah I honestly think I could beat anyone at eating margarita pizza in a pizza competition I hand on heart believe I could beat anyone

in the world listen she didn't ask us both to have the same one no no pick your own excuse me I was joining in

it's called a conversation what would yours be probably margarita. No, don't! It's my competition and I'm winning it because you would beat us. That's the only thing. At margarita pizza, not at anything else.

Come on. Let me have a second. What would I... What would you like to... If you could do anything that you could win a gold medal in, what would it be? It's a good question, that. Thank you, Jess.

This is going to sound so ridiculous, but I literally said the other day, out loud to myself, I am the best person in the world at this, and I can't remember what it was. Why are you saying that? Don't know. Now and then I'll be like,

honestly, I'm amazing at this. I'll say it out loud, and it's always something really shit. What a dick. That's awful. If you know what they are, I mean, I once sung the R. Kelly song, World's Greatest.

I'm the world's greatest. I once sung that in Magaluf on holiday with the lads while cleaning me underpants in the sink. And I was singing World's Greatest and I said to the lads, I said to them all, do you all think I'm the world's greatest at singing World's Greatest while washing me underpants in the sink?

How have you still got pants? Yeah, they weren't, they were not, you know when your mates just aren't on your wavelength? I was like, lads, you think I'm the world's greatest, isn't it? And they're like,

no. I'm glad that was all knocked out of you before we got together. Sort of. Are you going to pick anything? Are you just going to talk about chate holidays I'm really really

really good at making forts I think making forts with cushions and blankets and chairs in the house I think I'm one of the best people in the world at making forts

I'd love there to be a competition in making forts and I think I'd win a gold medal I'm really upset because we heard this question last night

you've had nearly 24 hours to think of an answer for that and you're coming up with fort building. It's not even a real competition. It's a fucking gherkin eating competition. The shittest, smelliest, fucking vinegary place ever. Imagine the sinks.

Imagine the sinks after that where you've got to get rid of all the juice. In fact, no, because you'd just drink it all, wouldn't you? I do, I drink the vinegar. So what do you want to do? Bring it on.

You don't even want to be in the eating competition. You just want to be there to fucking siphon off everyone's vinegar water afterwards. And what? What are you want to do bring it on you don't even want to be in the eating competition you just want to be there to fucking siphon off everyone's vinegar water afterwards and what what are you going to do

right that's enough just probably probably beg that you have a couple of pellets of chewing gum after thank you so much for listening

we obviously we so appreciate you coming back week after week always we are going on two air tickets on sale now. Shagmoudanoid.com.

Yes. Please come and see us. We'd love to see you there. Absolutely. And obviously, please keep getting in touch. Your questions are equally terrifying and joyous in equal measure. Thank you. It's Shagmoudanoid at gmail.com.

It's Shagmoudanoid.com for the tickets for the tour. We'll see you out there. Bye. Bye. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th, when the Toronto Rock host the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats

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