Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 93. Living with Meatloaf

Episode Date: December 4, 2020

On the podcast this week Rosie reveals what Robin thinks of his parents, there's some bath based beef and some festive singing. QFTP's involve a phantom farter and a strange pregnancy craving. All of this plus the couple are joined by TV Presenter, Steph McGovern, for a quick chat! Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th, when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every post-season game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City

at torontorock.com. Hello, you're listening to Shag My Renewal with me, Rosie Ramsey, and my husband, Chris Ramsey. And something really strange has happened this week. I'm in a really good mood and Chris is a little bit sad. I'm not sad. This never happens. I'm not sad, I'm just a little bit tired. Okay. A little bit tired. You are at the moment boiling hot all the time, like craziness and I am freezing cold. And you said last night.

What's that got to do with anything? Well, it's got to do with the fact that I didn't sleep well last night. Okay. Because you said to me last night, oh, just wear like long pyjama pants and a top. It's fucking like going to bed in a boiler suit. I've never done that before

and I'll never do it again. I'm sorry, I cannot, I cannot get away with the, I'm really cold in bed. Well, put some clothes on. In bed? Clothes? Why don't I put me, Rosie, why don't I put me fucking coat on while I'm at it, eh? put some clothes on in bed clothes why not put me

Rosie why not put my fucking coat on while I'm at it and my hat and my gloves and lie in bed fully fucking kitted out for winter

I'm good mate I love nothing than being fully clothed in bed horrendous socks the lot honestly I felt like I had to go

I woke up in the middle of the night I felt like I had to be somewhere I was like what's going on job interview I was like I've got an appointment here. I hated it.

But we've got like two duvets. We've got a normal duvet and then there's another like show duvet which I just love having on top because it's heavy and it wears you down and I love it.

And I had to take one of my pajamas off. You'd love a weighted blanket, you wouldn't you? Oh, would I? Oh, yeah. Oh, Chris. He has your weighted blanket.

No, I don't know what they're for. And your dummy. Is that what they're for? No dummy i genuinely think they're for anxiety i bloody love a dummy i googled adult dummies once i did it was a lot of bondage based stuff i wasn't happy yeah did a quick clear of the history after that didn't like it at all i Good, I'm glad. So yeah. Guys, welcome. It's episode 93. Thank you so much for coming and returning and all that stuff. We always say it, but we genuinely mean it. Please continue to like, rate and subscribe

and all of that. And before we go any further, it's time for this week's lucrative, lucrative sponsor. 93 of them. This week's... I think I skipped a couple, but yeah, you're right. Gosh. This week's sponsor is...

Going from lockdown straight into tier three. Oh! Do you notice a difference? Not really. Cool. No difference at all. It's the COVID equivalent, right, of getting on a plane to go on holiday and the pissing down rain and then getting to Spain and it's pissing down as well.

It's literally that, isn't it? Oh, it's fucking thunder and lightning here and all. Happy days. Should have stayed in the house. and is pissing down as well. It's literally that, isn't it? A-Viva! Oh, it's fucking thunder and lightning here and all. Happy days. Should have stayed in the house. The only difference for us is

you can go to the shops now. You can go to the shops. But the only thing that I used to really enjoy about a little shopping experience was, you know, a cup of coffee on my way around.

Well, take a flask. Can't be doing that. Take a flask. Take a flask. Take a flask. Next one, I'll fix the next one for you. Fixed it.

It's all about positive, upbeat. Take a flask. All right. Come on, a flask. Next one, I'll fix the next one for you. Fixed it. It's all about positive, upbeat. All right. Come on, I'm trying. In this moment, I'm doing it on the fly. What about when you've got a queue outside of the shops because it's busy? Take a flask. Right.

Come on. Next one. Take a cap and busk. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Wear all of your pyjamas that you normally wear for bed if you're fucking cold. Yeah.

Wear them outside. Yeah. You'll be fine. And your flask, put your hands around your flask great next one okay well that that was kind of the only problem okay well we've sorted that right great um oh i'm just sad it's just oh oh don't be sad no i'm all right i'm just tired i don't know what it is again it's because i try to sleep in a boiler suit right well let's just right. Right, well, let's just sleep in separate beds now. Oh, we haven't got a spare room anymore. No spare room anymore,

because you decided to get knocked up. Selfish. Oh, what a slag. Selfish. Right, here's the jingle. We had a fight about the jingle, jingle. We couldn't settle on a jingle, jingle. So this is the jingle, jingle. We hope you like the jingle, jingle.

Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bap. Jingle! Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of Shagged Maridonoid. Hope you're all okay in these grotty little times. Aye, and if you, tell you what, if you listen to this this now is there any tier ones in the country is no one in tier one is everyone in tier two yeah Isle of Wight and a couple of other little places Isle of Wight

Medina Theatre I'll see yous very soon not soon enough though yeah enjoy your tier one you bastards enjoy spitting on each other or whatever it is you're doing

you studied on the test didn't you my god I miss it miss spitting on people you do realise why we're in tier three though don't you why

I mean they keep saying that the cases are high and that, but they know that we like a drink. And they know that if they let us out, we will be out hugging and kissing and just getting in each other's grills. So that's

why. Oh well, fair enough. Anyway. Tier two, well done, yous. Enjoy yourselves. Enjoy your pints and that. And your scotch egg. I tell you, I did a gig last week, weirdly. I did a corporate gig.

I had to go to a TV studio and it was filmed and it was zoomed out to people from the company, which was pretty cool. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I spoke to one of the dads when I was dropping Robin off at school. And I said to him, he said, how was the gig? was dropping robin off at school and i said oh my he said how was the gig because i told him the day before i said i taught about something about

the game i said i was having a beer afterwards and i swear to god the fucking like the almost joy but like sort of i don't know i can't really describe it was sort of the lust and he had the lusts the best way and give you the lust in his voice i had a beer afterwards he went did you have it out of a pint glass i went what he went did you have your beer out of a pint glass was it a bar oh no no it was from a bottle from the fridge you went no all right honestly i was like oh mate i know i know it's funny isn't it because when you think back of all the years of like being out at christmas and and when you have to queue at the bar it's always really awful but now I'm really craving it. Oh god, absolutely.

What is it? The Wham Christmas song, Last Christmas. Last Christmas. Yeah but I listened to it the other day and it's a crowded room, friends with tired eyes. I was like oh god, a crowded room? When?

Where? Are they all bubbled listen it's getting back there today it was announced if you are it's Wednesday when we're recording this today it was announced

that there could be a new vaccine rolled out as early as next week so let's be positive positive cancer on can't wait to get that injected right in me dick

it's gonna be great why in your dick that's where they put it innit what they put the the vaccine it's gotta be injected in your dick. It's going to be great. Why in your dick? That's where they put it, isn't it? What? They put the... The vaccine. It's got to be injected in your dick, I heard.

Yeah, you're right. I'm not getting it if it's not in the dick. I'm not having this. I'm not having 2020 give me another slap. I think I preferred you tired. I've woke up now. You've woke up now. I don't know what you can do.

Hey, I tell you what, the bloody fuss and the hassle I got last time I went for my flu vaccine and they wouldn't do it in my dick. It was hell on. Why is this happening? I don't know. Stop.

Anyway, speaking of Christmas, Smars and Daz, we need your help. We are going to be doing two Christmas episodes because we have a Christmas episode planned that's coming out on the 18th, but we also didn't realise that we have an episode coming out on the 25th, actual Christmas Day. Christmas Day. Merry Christmas to all.

Why not? We thought we'd just do two of them. You boy! What day is today? It's Christmas. Ah, there's a podcast coming out. See, I'll do that. I'll do that in the morning.

Was that Scrooge? Ah, it was supposed to be. I'll start it like that. Okay, great. I'm tired. Please don't. Fucking shut up. Anyway, I was supposed to be. I started like that. Okay, great. I'm tired. Please don't. Fucking shut up. Anyway,

Smazz and Daz, we would like your Christmas questions, your Christmas stories, your disgusting Christmas one night stands. Tell us everything. Shagmaridanoid at gmail.com Christmas one night stands. Christmas one night stands. Christmas one night stands.

Christmas silent one night stands. Why silent? Silent night. Stands. Chris, I think you should go back to sleep. The night before Christmas one night stands? All of it. All of it.

Let us know. Shagmyranoid at gmail.com. Thank you so much in advance. Put Christmas or something in the subject title or festive or something so that I know what I look like. Yeah, Christmas. Although I'm not looking for the most important. Just go away till the end. I mean, we've still got guys doing the bathroom,

so God knows what they think's happening here. This is painful. Oh night divine Honestly, it's like living with meatloaf. I knew I'd get you. Imagine living with meatloaf.

I bet he just kicks off all the time. I imagine it would be really good or really bad I don't think there'd be a middle ground No offence Mr Loaf It would just be really long He was my tab break, did I ever tell you that? No I must have told you this

When I worked at Ponton's and someone put meatloaf on the karaoke I was like, tab time Because the song's like five minutes long Like a bat out of hell i'll be gone meatloaf is tab time would there be some kind of pavlovian condition if i put meatloaf on now would you weirdly just want a tab yeah honestly you never know when you have meatloaf do you want one we'll not have one while you've got the baby. Okay, we'll wait until the baby's out. Take old Lofi off the playlist. So, do you remember last week, Chris,

when somebody messaged in asking if you were a dick and all that? Do you remember? I do remember, yeah. I mean, I honestly thought we were past it, but I'm so glad you're bringing it up again. Well, I thought, I was like, right, okay. I vouched for you not being a dick in real life. Sorry. I was like, right, okay, I vouched for you not being a dick in real life. Sorry, but you act like it was like, you know,

when someone's on a fucking Leveson inquiry or something on the news. Like, this is just one person said they heard I was a dick and they emailed and you happened to see that email. But you're acting like it's the fucking, you know, like it's a full-on inquiry. Well, no, I had you back. I'm just saying I had you back. Of course you had me back. I thought I'd I had you back. Of course you had me back.

I thought I'd ask Robin his opinion of you. Sorry. Your son. I thought I'd ask Robin's opinion of you because I thought, you know what, it's from the word of, is it from the mouth of babes and all that stuff? Right.

Do you want to hear what he said? You didn't say his daddy a dick, did you? No. No? Right, okay. Of course I didn't. Okay, go on then. Dick, did you? No. No? Right, okay. Of course I didn't. Okay, go on then. Can you do us a favour?

What? Don't say Robin's mysteries. And I don't have to do Robin's mysteries. Nice train. What do you like about daddy? What do you like about daddy? Because he pulls on the shed. What?

That's a good attribute. So, I'm just going to warn you now, he actually has nothing positive to say about you at all. I poo on the shed? I've never pooed on the shed. This is slander. It gets a bit worse. I pooed on the shed?

It gets worse. What the hell? Right. I'm proud of that shed. I'm genuinely now worried to leave you and him alone. I'm proud of that shed. Because of some of the stuff he said. Are you ready?

Yeah. Because he weighs in his hair. I weigh in my own hair. Good talent there. And he weighs on the telly. Sorry. Say something nice about him. What do you like about Dad?

Well, he pulls on the Lego. Robin, something that doesn't involve where you poo. His butt shapes as a triangle. Is there anything nice about Dad? Well, he builds the Lego like a man. Robin, Robin. Well, he builds the Lego brilliant. Right, there you are.

That's nice. Nice. Anything else? Ow. Is that it? And the, um... Could my... Your hair

forever and ever come off. What the hell? Well, that didn't go as I planned. So you're going to say something nice about him? My daddy punches the teddy. No, he does not.

My daddy kicks the teddy. Robin's doing it. My daddy kicks the computer. My daddy kicks the lamp. Right. But he's true. This is what happens when I'm not here. Daddy just goes around kicking everything. My daddy kicks the lamp. Right. Are these true? Is this what happens when I'm not here? Does daddy just go around kicking everything?

Yes. This is ridiculous. He even kicks your face. Right. You've gone too far. I feel like you've gone too far. You took this and you've run away with it. Look, I'm reeling you back in.

Catch this rope, reeling you back in. Come on. What do you like about me? I'm not even coming in. What do you like about me? I'm not even coming in the house. What do you like about me? Nothing.

I'm flying. I can't even hear you. Fly downstairs and get ready for school. So that's as far as I got. At least you made some stuff up about me. You just fucking avoided your question. Absolutely did not answer. And I'm just a little bit worried

that he's going to go to school and tell his teachers that you kick everything. What's that about? Honestly, I'm not bothered about the kick and everything. I'm not even bothered that much about the poo on the shed and that but bum shaped like a triangle i'm not having that i'm not i'm i can't have them telling people that bum shaped like a triangle one why am i getting my bum out all the time two what what how they'll

be thinking i'm wearing padding in my pants and that it's from Strictly. Really? I'm joking. No, I don't know. My posture was a fucking clip, to be fair. It was. Oh, well. God. I would never poo on that chair. It's my pride and joy, that chair. How dare he? It's time for What's Your Beef? What's Your Beef? My Beef with you.

I can't imagine you have one, because I have been delightful recently. Not yesterday. Possibly yesterday or the day before. I was running my bath downstairs, as I have to, because the bathroom's still not finished. Busy getting finished, actually, as we speak upstairs, the bathroom is. Ran myself a nice little bath. You came in, even though we've got a toilet upstairs, for a wee.

We turned into a poo. So you just basically had a nice little poo for me while I was about to have my bath. Bath's there, sitting, running. You go in, drop your bait, and then you're left. No. I was raging. Right, okay.

Chris, I'm really sorry. Just toilet upstairs. Oh, sorry. No, right. Enjoy this, by the way, while you're having your bath. Yes. I have been constipated for a few days, and I genuinely didn't think it would come yeah

good like christmas morning sitting on that toilet 2020 has been different christmas morning it's just a big box of shit um wouldn't be surprised i mean you might as well have shot directly in the bath as well no i'm really sorry and i did apologize profusely. Oh, yeah, while shitting. To be perfectly honest to you. I do remember saying, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Sorry about this, guys. Really sorry about this, sorry. Sorry, I didn't think it was going to come.

Sorry about that. Enjoy your bath. What have you got in there, Zad? Redox? Is it Redox? What have you got in there? I'm sorry. I opened the window.

Brilliant, why not? And then I washed my hands in your bath. I like doing that. You actually did. Sorry, I'm sorry. I'll try and not do it again. It just came. I couldn't help it.

Rosie, I forgot that you did just wash your hands in my bath. It was so invasive. The whole thing was so invasive. I hated it. Sorry. It's so invasive. The whole thing was so invasive. I hated it. Sorry. It's the baby. The baby. Stop

blaming the baby. Couldn't help it. What's your beef? Okay, I've got a couple of them. Oh, great. I'm going to do them both. Really?

Well, you've just told everybody that I had a poo before your bath. Oh, because no one knew. Everyone thought you were saving them up. No, I never do

never ever do just talk about everyone else's she's not pregnant that's 34 years worth of shit I swear because she's never

had one I've lost 16 stone in a day okay right this one this really this really really pissed me off

last week really yeah I missed this out last week but I'm doing it this week pissed me off last week really yeah I missed this out last week but I'm doing it this week do you remember last week when there was dishes to be washed

or the dishwasher needed to be filled and you said you actually said to me I hate it when you do these ones no you said I could not believe

what I was hearing you said oh Rosie I'll get these out the way for you and I'll get these done for you. Like you don't live in the house with us. Like you are my father visiting, doing us a favour of washing the dishes.

Are you taking the mic? I'll get these out the way. No, it's not sexist. You're trying to make us out like I'm a pig. No, but what? I'll get these out the way no it's not sexist do you try and make us out like i'm like i'm a pig like i'm a pig but what i'll get these out the way for you because they were in your way they weren't in my way at all they were on the side of the sink chris you use them just as much as i do why are they my property why are they my responsibility so my point was you were pottering on in the kitchen doing stuff right i was cooking my head yeah yeah you were cooking

so i was moving them out of the way for you right no and i was getting them out so that you thought it was the for you if you just took them off right you know actually do you know what don't you don't have to tell us do you know if you want to do you know if you want to wash the dishes or fill the dishwasher i have to tell you i need the praise no i have to tell you i need you to know that i've done the thing about that before yeah i need you to know i've done the thing i need me gold star. But I'm saying like, I'll get them out of the way for you. It's because you are currently in the kitchen,

occupying the kitchen space. So it's like, oh, I'll do, you don't have to do them by the way. I'm going to do them for you. But it's not a sexist thing. It's not like, I'm not. It's not a sexist thing. You make it sound like I'm like, well, hey, you know,

a woman, you know how your job's normally dishes. Hey, I'll do it for you. You're welcome. I didn't bring the sex of it into it at all. I didn't at all. This has got nothing to do with being male or female. This has all got to do with you being a complete wanker and just expecting me to do the dishes. Can we go back to being a sexist thing?

Because I'm better with being sexist than with it to do with me being a complete wanker. It's just you being a wanker. I'll get these out the way for you. You've done it with washing before as well. You've gone, I'll put these in the washing machine for you. Right. It's because when I do it, right,

I assume that you're about to do it. So I'm like, look, I'll do it. Oh, yeah. Honestly. Right. Okay, then. Well done. Thank you.

See, was that hard? No, I'm taking the piss. That's like, because you've been dropping Robin off at school in the morning, which has been very nice. For you. See, was that hard? No, I'm taking the piss. That's like, because you've been dropping Robin off at school in the morning, which has been very nice. For you. Oh, see.

Listen, you're welcome. You are welcome. That's like me going, Chris, I'll drop the bin off for you. Yeah. I'll do it for you. Oh, thank you. What a lovely thing to do. No, you absolutely would.

Because I've been doing it non-stop for you. So if you then do it for me, that's great. Hey, I'm glad we're sort of that. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bab. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bab. It's time for questions from the public.

From the public. Public, public, public, public, public, public, public. Public. Guys, as always, if you want to get in touch, it's shagmydenoid at gmail.com. As Rosie said earlier on, your Christmas dilemmas and disasters

and all of that stuff and stories will be greatly appreciated over the next couple of weeks. Thank you in advance. But, you know, keep sending your other non-Christmas related things. If something pops to your head, it is just a joy to read all of your stuff. And I'm about to get a fucking face full of it now because Rosie's done the questions.

Yeah, better get that lube on. Lube yourself up. She said that wouldn't be filthy as well, so that's exciting. Okay, yeah. You've built it up now. There might not be. Well, there might get cut out anyway, so it doesn't matter. Okay. Hi Rosie and Chris. Hello.

I wanted to send you my story, which since it happened has become a running joke amongst myself, family and my friends. When I was younger, I used to live in Dublin. And one day, whilst I was walking alone down a fairly busy street, I suddenly felt like I was being followed. There was a man walking near me who seemed to slow down when I slowed down and speed up when i sped up right the footpath was quite wide so he wasn't very close to me but i subtly tried changing my pace a few times and yes i was definitely being followed can i just interject here this isn't this ends up being quite a funny outcome but if you're ever being followed, you know what you've got to do? What? You've got to turn around

and ask them for the time. Really? Yeah. So you've literally got to turn around and go, excuse me can I have the time? Or excuse me, are you following? You've got to confront them, you've got to turn around, confront them before they get too close to you. Apparently like 8 out of 10 times

they shit their pants and they run away. Wow. So there you go. Because it takes the control out of their hands. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know that. Yeah, so I got told that when I was at school. When the police officer came to school.

Okay. So there you go. Maybe check that that's still up to date. Do you think it'll have changed? Possibly. 20 years later. You've probably got to ask them for their Wi-Fi password or something now. I don't know.

Excuse me, can you set up a hotspot on your phone for us, can I fuck? It was mid-afternoon and there were quite a few people around, so I wasn't too worried about it. So I just tried to ignore him as best I could. There was a lot of traffic on the road, so when I came to a pedestrian crossing, I had to stop and wait. I noticed at that point that the guy who had been following me got quite close to me. We'd only been waiting there for a few seconds when he suddenly got even closer to me

and then he turned his back towards me, aimed his arse right at me and farted at me. Sorry! What the fuck? What? It says, yes, he bloody well farted right on me. It was one of those really loud ones, so everyone around me heard it. I have no idea what he did next because it gave me such a fright that I actually screamed and ran across the road, scarred for life. What the fuck?

I just feel like this is like a fetish thing. Right. So that bloke's probably been walking along, right, and he's thinking, I need to fart. And he loves farting on people and he's just thought, oh, look at him. I'm gonna fart right on him. The phantom farter? Yeah. And he loves farting on people. And he just thought, oh, look at her. I'm going to fart right on her.

The phantom farter? Yeah. And he's just gone over it and thought, this is my chance. That is... I mean, it's hilarious, but it's actually really horrible. Oh, it's awful.

Like, how much have you felt? I mean, it's a kind of thing though, right, where you would at the time be really horrified but you can't you couldn't help but laugh at that yeah later on in life i mean farts are hilarious yeah but it's it's i don't know like it's one of them things where you'd probably see it in the paper weeks later i'll be like he was a murderer but that's how he started kind of thing do you know what i mean no you would you'd see it in the paper be like well he started out you know small time farting on strangers in the street and then he you know what I mean no you would you'd see it in the paper you'd be like well he started out you know small time farting on strangers

in the street and then he you know graduated to chopping people's heads off like no do you know what I mean but my I mean again

first thing my brain goes to is I mean have you ever like tried to hold a fart for a certain situation so we're right so we're talking about he's

walking she says she's walking along for a while and she's slowing down and she's stopping and he's doing the same so he's either brewing one up or he's got it it's ready to go and he's waiting for it to stop yeah i mean he was he wasn't very he could have shat himself to be fair he's playing with fire here do you mean have you ever like i know well i was gonna say

have you i know you have you've pumped on me before it's the thing you've done excuse me i don't know what you're talking about no no no you're shatting me bath I didn't shit in the bath it was just a metre away social distance shitting me bath yeah do you understand

what I'm saying sometimes you can hold it sometimes you can lose it I wonder how many times he like lost the thought it went back up inside him and he had to just keep walking well before lockdown

there's a lot of people on the streets he's probably been knocking out sneaky ones like all the time he's honestly imagine his walks to work I can't

I just can't I don't know how I'd react if I was just standing and someone just put their arse on us and farted I can't I just can't get my head around it I genuinely

but would be really upset yeah when I would be really upset especially Yeah. I would be really upset, especially because, like she said, she thought she was being followed and then I would be so upset, but then probably

five years later, I would laugh. Busy street during the day, the balls on this fella. The ass on this fella. The anal capacity for gas on this fella. Unbelievable. do you think

do you think he might like carb up the night before if he like just be like right turnip tomorrow

root veg loads of root vegetables cabbage parsnips yeah I'm gonna I'm gonna do it tomorrow like setting himself up

no it's just the word. Like, honestly, I'd probably rather, if I, like, if I was walking along

with a bag, I'd probably rather someone snatch my bag than fart at us in the street, I think. Do you think? I think so.

Would you rather be mugged than farted at? Not mugged, not hurt, but if someone just, like, grab my phone, you know how they can

come past and just grab your phone out of your hand. I honestly, hand on heart, think I'd rather someone just took my phone out on my hand than farted on us in public i don't know what i would do i don't know what i would do if i was at a crossing in a busy street and someone just farted on us and then like either ran away or it'll be even worse if they just stood

there because what do you do like if they're just like that and they turn around they're looking at you and you're just standing there going the fuck man did you just did you just fart on me like what the fuck like and then if you hit them if you punched them or shoved them and they like fall over and hurt themselves you can't stand up in court and go well your honor he farted on me leg at pelican crossing so i just punched him in the mouth you'd get done imagine if he did it

and then turned around and looked at you and went excuse me blamed you just I don't know I just said beg your pardon beg your pardon oh sorry about that. Well, you didn't have to aim it at us.

Wow. Looked like you'd appreciated it. Honestly, if you smacked someone for farting on you in the street, if you punched them in the face, you'd get done. Broken Britain. That's broken Britain right there, I tell you what. Claims culture. Honestly, claims culture.

That might be it. You know these people who jump on, they're on their bicycles and they just jump on static cars. Yeah. But you see they've got a dash cam, so they kind of get done. That might be it. You know these people who jump on, they're on their bicycles and they just jump on static cars. Yeah. But you see they've got a dash cam so they kind of go, that might be the thing. Find them people to get yourself punched.

They are the most hilarious videos. Have you ever watched one? Yeah, but every time I watch one, I just think, how many people, how many poor people have these people done it to who don't have a dash cam?

Yeah, that is very true. A dash cam's not a, it's not a properly common thing. No, no, not at all. Scumbag. Pure scumbag. Horrible. I watched one when a bloke did it.

And I'm not... It was the worst fall ever. I was like... It's when they back the bike up. Pathetic. They turn and they're backing all the way up and then they, like, throw theirself on. Like, they're jumping backwards

onto a fucking trampoline. Absolutely. Like, GCSE drama level. It was shocking. GCSE drama. Terrible. And then... So he did it, got up and then took a screen grab of the license plate.

And I'm like, you cheeky little twat. Yeah. Terrible crack that like. Awful patter. Again, probably rather that than a fart. I'd probably rather that than drive by a fart. No, I would rather have a fart. I wonder if this guy's ever done it over a van. Just pulling up next to someone and just hanging his arse out of his van window.

Probably. He seems quite well accomplished. I hate him. But I also respect him and I don't know why. Will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever? Join the Sunrise Challenge to raise funds for CAMH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care.

From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at

sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. This Friday. You must be very careful, Margaret. It's a girl. Witness the birth. Bad things will start to happen. Evil things. Of evil.

It's all. You know, don't. The first omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil. to be the mother of one. Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil.

Movie of the year. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. Who said that? The First Omen. The Impeders Friday. Get tickets now.

Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th, when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City

at torontorock.com. Hi Chris and Rosie. I have a question for you both. I used to work in a gum clinic. We're cooking on gas, bitches! And we often had people come into the clinic with an array of different sexual health issues on one occasion a lady who had just returned 10 days ago from a holiday in magaluf she came in she was complaining of pain in her lower abdomen it was even too tender to touch she exclaimed the doctor began asking the usual questions to build

a full picture using the symptoms and any relevant history. She informed us that on her holiday of 14 days, she had sexual intercourse more than 14 times. Shut the front door. 14 different people? With more than

14 sexual partners. Sorry. Honestly, she has had a really busy, busy holiday. I mean, you need a holiday after that holiday. Her vagina needs a week off after that. Goodness me. Listen, I'm not... Sorry. We're not here to judge.

No, I'm not, and I feel we are doing it, and I'm really sorry, but if a bloke had done that and people said, oh, you'd think he was a legend. No, I wouldn't. I'd think he was horrendous. I'd think he was disgusting and he needs his mouth shoved up. But this proves my point. Or it was much easier for a woman in Magaluf,

much easier to fuck 14 people than for a man in Magaluf. Do you think? Oh, the men are lining up, man, the blokes. Yeah, that is true. Lining up. That happened in, do you know how I used to work in Rhodes? You never mentioned that you worked in Rhodes. Just for a few years.

You'd be telling us you worked in Pompons next. Wow. Jealous. Faleraki was like 15 minutes from where I lived. Got you. And do you remember years ago, there was that programme Faleraki Uncovered? Yeah, and Club Reps was set in Faleraki.

Yes, and Club Reps was there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I got told, that was like 10 years previous to when I worked there. Yeah. What happened was it was really heave in Falaraki

it used to be so busy people watched that program and then they just got an influx of men and young lads and so there wasn't I went there one of them years yeah there wasn't

many girls went it was just all fans and they were all fighting it was awful oh was it it was awful two weeks in Falaraki when I was 16

with my mates's the most scared I've ever been in my life. Went out on a night and it was just rough as fuck. So horrible. Yeah, well we went because of that programme as well. We were like, oh class, this is mint. Horrendous. But no girls went. Nah, hardly any girls. Because I think a lot of women

watched the programme and went, I'm alright for this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Didn't think that through. Didn't think that through. I always found that very funny god it was awful yeah well it was all right when i was there had a lovely time so she's um she's had a right one yeah i mean i don't want to judge here but over 14 i mean that's more than one a day i mean because when you get a 14 night holiday you never get your 14 do you you don't you, do you? You lose a couple of days. You lose a couple of days there. She's made up for it. Good grief.

There could have been a pool party on one of the days. Jesus Christ. Listen, we are not judging her. Massively. I'm kind of judging her. Well, you might judge her more when you hear the rest of the story. Wonderful. Okay. It was clear that she was most likely suffering from some form of STI.

Oh, gosh. So, do you know what it is? Sleep with 14 different people, just use a condom. Not one, use 14 different condoms. Don't be rinsing it. Oh, well, hey. Don't be. What about the planet?

Oh, yeah. How are you? Come back to my hotel. Two seconds. Where's that last lad? Can I have that condom? Will you quickly take that off? This new lad wants it.

Not a problem, love. There you go. Pleasure doing business with you. Thank you for your time. Oh, don't say pleasure doing. Don't. You know I use that phrase. What?

Pleasure doing business with you. When me and Robin play shops. Oh, right. I thought you meant during sex. No. No. Oh, don't you ruin it Sorry When me and Robin play shops

And after I shake his hand And he says Pleasure doing business with you And I say Pleasure doing business with you Okay Well

I don't want to be reminded Of this lass Getting shagged off 14 different people When I'm playing shops With my little boy Right So thank you

Maybe you're Doing the wrong podcast After further tests playing shops with me little boy. Right. So, thank you. Well, maybe you're doing the wrong podcast. After further tests, bizarrely, nothing was coming back positive and the mystery STI could not be identified. Right, I'm going to guess. Can I guess?

I should have kept this for Rosie's mystery, shouldn't I? Can I guess? Yeah. The stomach stuck in there. There's me guess. Okay. Keep going. Let's see. Let's see see chris it was at this stage the doctor decided that a visual inspection would add to his investigation

to confirm what her issue was upon having a very thorough look with the speculum he looked up at me with a puzzled look on his face. The patient was lying on her back at this point, so was luckily unable to see his face. He asked me to pass him a pair of forceps. Oh no. He reached quite deep into her vagina and pulled

out a pair of green bikini bottoms. Aww. No. No. No, no, no. No? Upon showing the article of clothing to the young lady, she sat up and stated, Wow, I lost those on the first night of my holiday.

Fuck off. No. Fuck off. It would appear she was booked. But yeah. So hard upon her first night on holiday, her bikini bottoms were pushed right up inside her, where they remained for the next 24 days.

Just getting pushed in further and further and further each time. This is absolutely revolting. I know. They had caused quite a severe infection, and it was that which This is absolutely revolting. I know. They had caused quite a severe infection and it was that which was causing all the pain. And there's a question here. Good Lord. Good Lord.

Sorry, I don't want the question here. Can we just take a moment? Yeah. I mean, come on. Sorry, that's the second time I've read that. You just digest that. Come on, man. Yeah.

Oh, good Lord. I mean. She hasn't even bothered to, you know, slide them to the side. How does that happen? Just smashing straight into them, like kicking a door in. Good God. They've just crumpled up. Do you know, like...

Can you remember the end of Gladiators where they just swing on the rope and go through the big massive poster. Is that what happened? And then the poster's gone with them. Yeah, because some of them would swing off it and they'd be covered in the big poster. Is that what's happened? I think that's what's happened. That's what's happened, unfortunately.

Do you know what? This is really is really bad you know what i now know what um i bet you there were them ones that tie the ones that tie at the back the ones that tie on each side and then they were just pushed straight in yeah yeah why do i know that because they always come i mean i can't believe there wasn't at least a bit of string hanging out the next morning i mean how pissed you have to be good. She was right back on it not long after. Oh, for fuck's sake. That's so grim,

isn't it? It's really grim. I hope we don't sound sexist here, but it is really grim. This is another female. That's vile. If one of my friends

told me that they had a bikini bottom stuck inside their vaginal... I would be horrified. And I'm telling you now, I don't think I'd hang around with them anymore. Because that is... Definitely wouldn't be bothering

borrowing swimming suits. Oh, absolutely not. Imagine on holiday. Can I borrow a bikini? Not the green one. Not even the top. I don't want it. It's associated with it. Not even the top. No, that is horrible. That's not a male-female the top. No, that is horrible. That's not a male, female. That's horrible.

Do you want the question? Yes, but first I've got a question. Did you keep them? Did you take them home and wash them? Would you take them home? Would you? Chris, right. Okay, I'm not trying to...

I've had a little bit of a promiscuous past, right? Okay, we're very open with each other. Do not put me into this bracket. I would never get myself in a situation where I lost a pair of my bikini bottoms up my vagina. So let's not. Okay, but my question is, if you could put yourself, you know, you're an actress, if you could put yourself in her head,

would you take them home and wash them and keep them and then be like these are the ones that got stuck up me fanny look at these everyone or would you

just throw them in the bin in the gum clinic depends how much they were fantastic depends where I got them from

all I wanted to know do you know what I mean supermarket own brand no okay monsoon possibly got you

right do you know what I mean do you want the question yes okay so my question is to you Right Do you know what I mean Do you want the question Yes Okay So my question is to you both Have you ever lost Your swimming costume on holiday

And found it 24 days late There inside of yourself And that's it I need a little while To think about this No Me neither Did I ever tell you

When I went to the phone party Have I told this story Or at the phone party Gosh you know what it is? I love the idea of a foam party, but being there, they're really sad. They're really horrible. And then you go right in the middle of the foam, and you're like, why is the foam not starting?

Why is the foam not starting? When will the foam start? Oh, my God, get me out of here. I'm dying. I remember walking around a foam party in Faleraki and thinking, oh, I'll just spread my hands through the foam plasters. Just loads. Yeah, disgusting. They used to do a water when i worked in the b-thad they did a water party in this paradise and in the corner where all of the stuff just gathered so people would like jump

in the water off the sides and it was just tab ends backy uh condoms just bits of bits of money which was kind of good right a couple of euros there that was kind of so I went to the phone party with all my mates I had a t-shirt on and shorts and we're in the phone having a great time and I jumped up and down

all night to the music just jumping up and down just jumping just jumping all night having a lovely time next day had friction burnt the end of my dick

and both my nipples because of the because of the the because of the form. Because of the wet clothes just going up and down on us. The end of your dick. Friction burn the end of my dick. Because you're uncircumcised. I'm circumcised so it's like the end sort of

of my dick was like like so if me face, if me nose guys is where the wee comes out of the end of the dick sort of top of me forehead is where I'd burnt. Oh, so not the end end? Not the end end, the sort of top, because it points down, doesn't it? So the sort of top front.

The porch, the roof of the porch. The shaft. Yeah, top front of that. And both my nipples. Oh. Oh, nipples were scarbed over. Scarbed over. Honestly, I couldn't even sunbathe the next day.

Do you know what it is? I couldn't put a T-shirt on either. I had to stay in the room. Had to get some Sudocrem off Carl Hutchinson. Why do I feel like I saved you? From this really weird little life. Don't get us wrong. I was fucking 18 or something at the time

I haven't been doing that ever since oh bless you yeah oh it's horrible friction burning that oh goodness me good times

oh babadoo babadoo babadoo this is a story slash question about pregnancy because you know still pregnant

are you pregnant five weeks left what five weeks left until I can have a bottle I mean until the baby is here left until I can have a bottle of, I mean, until the baby is here. Yes. Slash I can have a bottle of wine.

I mean, until the baby can have a bottle of wine. Yeah. Hi, Rosie and Chris. I have a story and a question for you. When I was pregnant for the second time with my son, who was born during this year's lockdown, I had a very strange pregnancy craving that i haven't told anyone oh we're talking about food craving here or what you just have to wait and

see oh i mean maybe i've big that up or she's big that up because it's not as horrific as it well didn't your mom was it your mom who used to eat, when she was pregnant, she used to eat shampoo? Yeah, me mum would put Vosine on her wrist, rub it in, then lick it off. Right. Which is awful. Who is it who used to eat cement? Your mum. My mum.

Your mum used to go round the back of, whose house was it? Whose house was it? I can't remember. Her mum and dad's house. Was this when she was pregnant, or was this when she was a kid? It might have been, no, I think it was when she was pregnant or was this when she was a kid? It might have been I think it was when she was pregnant and she used to eat like the plaster

off the back of the house. Is that right? Like a fucking raccoon. Was it when she was pregnant or when she was little? Bloody water coming in here. Is that Ann Ramsey being round again?

Eating the fucking eating the plaster she just had to rend her off. She just had to fucking rend her off. Yeah. I think it was like the cement in between the bricks.

I'm not... We'll have to ask her because I can't remember. I'm not ringing her. No. I think my mum used to eat orange peel as well. I've really lucked out. I don't get anything. Yeah.

Do you know what has happened though? What? I don't like all me disgusting stuff. What do you mean? I've had nothing pickled for months. Really? Well, you'd think. You don't like pickled stuff?

No. Why? I don't know. stuff anymore? No. Why? I don't know. But then when the baby comes, I'll be back on the roll mops and the gergens and all that. But at the minute... Fish in jars staring at us from the fridge. Great.

I've just got nothing. A bar of dairy milk a night. It's actually crazy how much dairy milk you eat. I do love dairy milk. Suck it dry, don't you? It's a lovely process. Chris loves it. That's what they'd find

if you went to the gum clinic with a pain. That's what they'd find. They'd find a dairy milk wrapper. What? That's what they'd find in you. You absolutely would never... Right.

Every night, I would have a bath or a shower to wash away the day dealing with my crazy toddler. Oh, yeah. With my shower, I would pour myself bath or a shower to wash away the day dealing with my crazy toddler. Got you. With my shower, I would pour myself a cold glass of water and pop in a bath sponge to soak up the water

and then whilst in the shower or bath, I would suck the water out of the sponge. Right. It's not that bad, is it? It's weird. It is weird. That's weird. I want to know where this sponge

has been I want to know the history of the sponge I knew you'd ask that I knew you'd ask if it was a new or old sponge yeah who's been

wiping their arse with that who's been cleaning their gooch and that that's a nice word isn't it gooch

gooch they never tell you about what happened to your gooch in Falaraki I've never told you about this what happened to your gooch in Falaraki? I've never told you about this.

What happened to you gooch in Falaraki? Come on. Let's find out. The sequel to the TV series, How I Met Your Mother, what happened to my gooch in Falaraki? I've randomly scratched me gooch one day in Falaraki. I was like, that feels amazing, doesn't it, when you scratch your gooch?

And for a laugh, I was saying to the lads, oh, it feels amazing when you scratch your gooch. And I was scratching it, and one of my mates was laughing so much i kept doing it the next day i couldn't walk that scratched my gooch that much i'd hurt it so there's a lesson in there kids i would not have found you attractive at that age. Not many people did. That was the year before Magaluf, though.

Right. So, yeah. So, this is the year before the chafe. This is before the nipples and the tiddler. Right. So, you scratched your gooch that much for a joke? For a joke, I felt really nice. And then the next day, I couldn't walk.

How sensitive is your skin? Were you scratching it like over clothes? No, no, I was going for it. It's not like you. Yeah, no. Well, you know, when you're getting the laughs, when you're getting the laughs, you've just got to keep scratching that gooch.

The sponge sucking lady goes on to say, If I ran out of water, I would get out, fill up the glass and start again. It became such an overwhelming craving that I would have to have my shower with the sponge every night. So weird. I'm ashamed to say I never replaced the sponge. I know, but I just couldn't stop. I don't know why this was the craving. Maybe my body just needed more water.

Can't think why it had to be from a bath sponge though. Weird. Very strange. When I, so when I, it's weird

because I can kind of get on board with this because when I was a kid I remember thinking, like, I remember I would brush my teeth, right?

It was just a, no it wasn't a toothbrush that hadn't been invented. No. And I'd put me toothbrush, do you ever do that thing where you put your toothbrush under the cold tap

and they go, Yeah, I used to love that. Nicest water ever. No. And I put me toothbrush, do you ever do that thing where you put your toothbrush under the cold tap and they go, Yeah, I used to love that. Nicest water ever. Yeah. Pour a glass, not the same. Doesn't taste the same.

So there you go. But I used to love, like, not a glass, because like, you wouldn't have a glass in the bath. You're going to say a cup of water in the bath.

A cup of water from the bath, from the bathtub. A cup of water in the bath. It was absolutely delicious. It was, delicious it was and it still is I've done it before it's from your tank

it's from your head of tank it's not mains fed so it shouldn't really be it's just lovely drunk really is it bad for you I don't know if it's bad it's just not as clean

as mains water but it's nice though right fresh fresh as out that's because you're in a hot bath that'll be why I still do it now sometimes

if I have a glass of juice and I run out and I'm like I'm having a little drink of this i just can't ever see myself drinking from a sponge and thinking that's okay not from a sponge i used to do that when i was a kid but it was warm yeah just drink the bath water right okay from the bath yeah okay so you just drank your bath water yeah great yeah it's up there with you know the little cheap bottles of pop uh cartons of pop they used to get at school. Put the straw in, put the straw in the top, not that nice, bite the bottom and squirt it in your mouth.

I was going to say, you're doing it the absolute loser's way. Yeah, yeah. Bite a bit of the bottom off and squirt it in your mouth. That's what you want to be doing. Bigger the hole, the worse it tasted. But if it was a tiny little hole and it took like hours to drink, it tasted amazing. Yeah.

They were so good. I mean, I'd love to see you know, Jamie Oliver or someone get a hold of them now and go, right, so this is just water and sugar. Water, sugar and colour and that's all this is. Oh, it's cancer in a cup. Wow. Are you doing their advertising slogans? Because that's a banger, that.

That'll sell. Grimmest thing I've ever heard. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Hi, Chris and Rosie. Hi. I'm currently listening to episode 92 and the story of the worst first date ever and I think perhaps I can top this.

What? Although it was date number two. Right. She thinks she can top the worst man on the planet? No, it doesn't involve the worst man on the planet. It's just an unfortunate occurrence. Okay. As date number one had gone swimmingly,

he had suggested coming to my flat to cook for me. We went to the shops, picked up some ingredients and wine, and then he made us a delicious meal. That's sweet. Okay, well, already it's better than the other one, so I don't see where this is going. Once we had ate, we moved to the living room to watch some TV delicious meal. That's sweet. Okay, well already it's better than the other one. Yeah. Don't say where this is going. Once we had ate,

we moved to the living room to watch some TV and wind down with a glass of wine. Oh. Everything was going great and we were laughing hysterically at something I had said. Hysterically?

All right. Hysterically? I'm mint on a night out, mate. As a comedian, I respect that. Do you? We were laughing hysterically at something I said. It was one of

my zingers. She deserves credit. Hey. Some credit from me for that. She's actually added after this. I must admit I felt quite proud he found me so funny. There we go. He was laughing so hard he accidentally let out a huge fart. Great. I know.

That's good. That or a snort. A snort's good. That's what he wants. Yeah. Shut up. It was at this moment he looked at me and declared, I've just shit myself on your sofa. Now, I don't know about either of you, but as a 22-year-old woman, I didn't know how to react to a 27-year-old man telling me he had just followed through on my sofa. Wow.

The story does get even funnier, though. I mean, she is cooking on gas. Rosie, don't be hating her. Sorry, have you ever laughed anyone in the shat in their pants? Because I'm a professional comedian and I haven't. Actually, right, okay. I've got to give her this. She should do stand-up.

I'll take back what I said. You've got to. You're right. She should do stand-up. I'll take back what I said. You've got to. You're right. You've got to take it back. He has literally shat himself. He's literally shat himself laughing. Who is this? She's the funniest person in the world.

Who is this woman? This is amazing. Joan Rivers? Anyway. When I tell you that not too long ago I started a new job and some of us in the office were discussing our worst dates and one of my new colleagues took his turn storytelling and went on to say,

this wasn't me but one of my best mates once went to a girl's house and shit himself on her settee. That's amazing. After some showing of photographs we confirmed it was indeed the same person. Oh, my God. It says here at the end, Newcastle really is a small world. Oh, my God.

Yeah. He shat himself on a sofa. Yeah. Then she met someone who knew him. Oh, that's beautiful. It's nice that, isn't it? That's beautiful. What's it called, that?

What is it when it's like onomatopoeia? No. No. What's it called then? No, I'm not going to go on. Onomatopoeia is a word that sounds like one of these. What's it called that? What is it when it's like onomatopoeia? No. No. What's it called then? No, go on. Onomatopoeia is a word that sounds like what it is. What's it called? Like justification? No.

Nuance? No. I don't know. I've lost. What do you mean? What was I saying? What do you mean? What is this? When it's not...

Coincidence? That's... You are joking. Are you fucking serious? Onomatopoeia. Nuance. What was the other one? Justice.

Coincidence was the word you were looking for. Yes. Fuck me. Anyone ever fucking emails in and slags me off for correcting Rosie again you're just going to all fuck right off babadoo babadoo babadoo

bab okay it's time for this week's celebrity question celebrity question you sort of dialed that back a bit because our celebrity's on Zoom with her

we've actually got her here and it's a bit embarrassing well we know that like us many of you have been spending more time at home more lunch breaks than ever before have have been at home this year.

It's not always easy to keep things fresh or actually take a break. You always end up doing stuff. You're contactable on Zoom and stuff. But if there's one person who knows how to reclaim your lunch breaks and start enjoying it again, it's Steph McGovern. Welcome, Steph. Hi, Steph. Lovely to see you both and you yeah we're doing this by zoom everyone so we'll see steph's lovely face how are you i'm good yeah i actually feel like i'm getting more northern instantly just by looking at you both like to just get more and more northern when you talk. Well, you see, we're still here, Steph.

We've never left. We're still South Shield, so we're surrounded by it all the time. But you're a bit further. You're Middlesbrough, aren't you? Yeah, Middlesbrough. But actually, I was born in North Shield. Not many people know that. North Shield's just across the ferry from us.

But do you know what? I'm always jealous of South Shielders or whatever you call yourselves because you've got so many amazing people who've come from South Shields, haven't you? Like every time there's a talent show, there's always someone from South Shields. I think there's something in the Marine Park pond.

There must be something in the water. People are drinking stuff. Yeah, we've got loads of people from South Shields. We've got Joe McCaldry, Sarah Millican. We've got Jade Thirlwall. We've got Perry Edwards. Ridley Scott, although I think he actually denies it. Yeah, it's a nice, nice little place.

The thing that I've always wanted to ask you two, right, is how you manage to work together and, like, actually also have an amazing relationship. Like, how do you do it uh do you want to answer i mean i've got a i've got a very short answer okay it's a daily struggle well do you know what it was a lot easier before covid hit let's put it that way because chris wasn't here very often yeah i suppose always on tour yeah so it was like we had quite a nice little part-time relationship yeah and um i think we

just learned to adapt a bit you missed it all now it's like oh you're a walker something is there something you can do um but yeah it's i mean we do have moments we had a moment yesterday so some days um if we'll have like you know a row as a couple we'll have a row but then we'll have the podcast to record later on it happened yesterday didn't we had a row in the morning we had the podcast to record so you kind of go off to your own separate part of the house and there is a moment where you sit there going well we're probably not going to be able to do one this week because we're so fucking livid with each other no it's true yesterday was one of them days we've got better at that though i think professionalism takes over you have to forgive each other really quickly yeah i actually still harbour a little bit of resentment for that argument yesterday.

No, I can see it in your face, Rose. You actually haven't finished that row, love. It's still going in there, but I knew I had this, but tomorrow, Steph, we've got now, so I'm not speaking on you. That's a punishment. That's a bloody reward, that is. Class.

So we've got a question here that says, what have you been doing during lockdown? But we know what you've been doing during lockdown. You've been smashing out the Steph's Pack lunch show every single day, haven't you? Yeah, I mean, yeah, I've been quite mad, like you guys are doing now. Originally, I was working from home,

so we were going to launch the show back in April from the studios in Meads, and then we couldn't because of lockdown. So we did it in my house for a few months, which was totally mad. Wow. It was like me with a four-month-old baby and my partner also trying to work from home just trying to do the show and like passing the baby between us so that was mad so then when lockdown lifted the first one and then we got to um get the studio finished and everything and then

get into the studio and we've made it so that we couldn't be closed down during lockdown like we straight away went in with all really strict measures and I get tested every couple of days and all that so I'm so grateful because I'm getting to like go to work every day so for me I'm like buzzing because I'm like getting the car in the morning go to work do my show come home and I'm like I've had a class day. No traffic. Yeah, exactly. I feel guilty, actually, because I appreciate so many people are stuck at home and that can be quite hard in so many ways.

And I'm like, I feel quite cheerful at the minute. Yeah, yeah. And of course, most importantly, please tell us about your show, Steph's Packed Lunch. Yeah, well, I mean, it's a kind of mix of um chat with just like people we get on quite regularly and um so we get various different celebrities and stuff on but also we have like a our own group of what we call lunch mates and these are just normal people who come in and they're like they're kind of like an audience

but now they're part of the family and they're regularly returning people out with lunch mates. And they come in and they join in and all the chat as well. And, you know, try the food that the chef's making and things. So it's very much like a programme that's driven by the people who come in to be in the lunch mate gang. So Steph, which is the best dish? Which celeb chefs cook the best dish that's

really hard to answer so we've got um one of our celeb chefs is john wait who won bake-off a few years ago so he does the most amazing cakes like to the point where every time i bring home a load of cakes as well and then hand them out to the neighbors because they're like they're all watching going oh we saw john wait was on can you just do us a little plate of whatever oh that's amazing they're going around with food another feel-good segment's one big bit so what's your sort of feel-good moment that sticks out so far yeah well we do like every day we always try and get someone on who's got like an inspirational story or whatever so for example this week we had a lad on called Charlie Christensen who like loves musical theater but he was really bullied at school for it it's kind of bit billy elliott-esque and um he came on and just did this amazing story about how he'd beaten the

bullies and like he was just really inspirational and he's only 10 and i love stuff like that so he came on with his mom and he's and he he's now doing a charity single with a load of West End stars and things. Oh, I love that so much. So my next question for you is, how many shows have you done now together? Well, as of today, recording, middle of November, we've done 91. Right.

92, technically, because was it the third episode or the second episode that we had to re-record because we're in a really bad mood with each other? Oh yeah, we had to scrap a full episode because it was passive-aggressive. It was terrible. So yeah, so 92 we've done. We called it episode three, take two or something.

And the fans keep campaigning for it to release it. I'm sure. It was really bad. We'd have to listen to it again because it was so bad we'd had such a bad day like and i feel like from listening like we've learned so much about you is there anything like left to know about you it's like are you are you worried you're gonna run out of chat always yeah after five episodes we were like well that's us empty and here we are there's Chat. Yn aml. Ie. Ar ôl 5 o fysgwyr roedden ni'n dweud, wel, mae hynny'n ddifrifol. Ie, ac mae'n aml rhywbeth. Mae'n aml rhywbeth bob wythnos lle rydyn ni, un ohonom,

yn dweud rhywbeth ac yn dweud, nid wyf yn gwybod hynny am chi. O ran y gorffennol neu rhywbeth fel hynny. Yn ystod ychydig wythnos yn ôl, roedd hi'n ei ddweud wrthym, pan oedd hi'n blant, roedd hi'n gwneud sgwrs TV, ac roedd y llen yn ffis, ac roedd hi'n gwneud sgwrs yn y llen. A wnaethoch chi wneud hynny, Steph? Gwneud hynny, mae hynny'n ddewr i chi, yn amlwg, yn gwneud sgwrs yn y llen. flannel was a fish and potentially was in the bath with a fish did you do that stuff bear in mind that is now that's not your job obviously sitting in the bath with a flannel but you are you are a tv presenter and so did you ever when you were a kid yeah well i was an only child so i still am yeah and so i was forever playing games at every type of situation you can imagine

you know i ran my own shop you know i used to fill up people's cars in the garden like all just in my head yeah creating all these different situations that was the only thing you could do when you're on your own oh that's amazing i love it steph thank you so much for joining us we hope you've enjoyed it as much as we have i certainly have it's so lovely to be on your podcast. I love it. We'll definitely be tuning in. You guys listening can catch Steph's Pack Lunch on Channel 4

at 12.30 every day during the week. Enjoy. Thanks, Steph. Thank you. Take care. Once again, thank you so much

for listening to this week's episode of Shag Round Annoyed, which is now part of the Acast Creator Network. Thank you very much indeed, guys. It's a pleasure to have you here listening to us prattle on about, I mean, fuck knows to be fair, this week especially. It's been a bit of one of those weeks, hasn't it?

It has indeed. The book is out. The book hasn't got a load of gobbledygook in. I'm genuinely still very, very proud of the book. The book is out. Obviously still in time for Christmas. There is new merch on the website now. We've got onesies, we've got robes, we've got all kinds of stuff going on and please send

your Christmas stories to shagmardinord at gmail.com and we'll see you again next week Bye guys, take care led by Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Gimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder, April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit

tso.ca Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also

lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game, and you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com.