Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Ep 99. Maternity Leave #2

Episode Date: January 15, 2021

On this week's maternity leave edition of the podcast Chris & Rosie bring you some of the QFTP's that didn't make the first cut! They involve a a windy Dad, a shopping disaster and some jacket potato discussion. There's also a cameo from a certain member of the Ramsey clan! Become a member at https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. https://plus.acast.com/s/sma. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This Friday, you must be very careful, Margaret. It's a girl. Witness the birth of evil. It's all for you, no don't. The First Omen. I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil.

Movie of the year. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real. Who said that? The First Omen. In theaters Friday. Get tickets now. You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and

Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Jimeno in conversation. Together they dissect the mesmerizing layers of stravinsky's the rite of spring followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece symphony exploder april 5th at roy thompson hall for tickets visit tso.ca right so what you do is right put your face up to the microphone, right, and you go, I'll go first, right, I'll go, Chris Mike, Chris Mike, 1-2-1-2.

Then you go, Chris Mike, Chris Mike, 1-2. No, but that's not your name, is it? What's your name? Robin Ramsey, 2-1. Go, Robin Mike, Robin Mike, 1-2-1-2. Robin Mike, Robin Mike, 1-2-1-2. Robin Mike, Robin Mike, 2-2-2. Oh yeah, oh yeah, I put my little feet. So, hello and welcome to this week's Shag Married Annoyed. I probably shouldn't have said that word because...

And when you say that, you'll peel your pants. Yeah, I probably shouldn't have said that word because I've just realised who my co-host is today. Hello Robin. Hello. So what's happening is, this is week two of the Maternity Leave podcast. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Yeah, thank you.

This is week two of the Maternity Leave podcast. Rosie and Robin's little brother, what's your little brother called? Rave. And do you love him? Yeah. He's a little cutie? No.

What do you call him? Bum Bum. You don't call him Bum Bum, you call him your little baby. Call him Tiddler Face. Tiddler Face. Right. Anyway, we are stepping in to do the intro and the outro for this.

It's another week of unused questions that we haven't had time to put. The Rosie Ramsey family. That's upsetting. It's the Chris Ramsey family, if anything. Chris Ramsey. Thank you. So it's another week of questions that weren't used on other episodes Robin's very excited about it

so he's my co-host for Robin Robin what do you want to say to everyone out there this is our podcast what do you want to say to everyone out there thank you thank you ladies and gentlemen thank you ladies and gentlemen and how's Mammy tell everyone how's Mammy doing is she okay yeah

yeah and how's Rafe doing blah blah blah okay? Yeeeahhh! Yeah? Yeah. And how's Rafe doing? Blah blah blah. Blah blah blah? You've had enough of it, have you? I've just noticed you've only got one sock on, is there a reason for this? My sock is freezing! One foot's freezing?

Bleeding. Bleeding? Oh, your little toe was bleeding, wasn't it? You're alright though, you were very brave. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I'm really right though you're very brave yes yes yes yes i'm really brave really brave okay do you like do you do you like podcasts thumbs up thumbs up doesn't work on a podcast it clearly doesn't know much about them i do i do you do okay what's your what's your favorite podcast is it mommy and daddy's raves right it's his podcast your favorite podcast

it's actually not too dissimilar from the content that me and mammy being robin thank you for stepping in and helping can you just say can you say to everyone enjoy this week's podcast we'll be back soon enjoy this week's podcast. We'll be back soon. Enjoy this week's podcast. We'll be back soon. And I've been Chris Ramsey and you are Robin Ramsey. Robin Ramsey. Robin, I need you to say a really important thing that

Mammy always forgets to say. Can you say it for me? I'll tell you what it is. Two seconds. Pain the jingle. Oh no, it's not actually. It's... Here's the jingle.

Here's the jingle. Here's the jingle. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do. We had a fight about the jingle. Jingle. We couldn't settle on a jingle. Jingle. So this is the jingle.

Jingle. We hope you like the jingle Jingle Jingle Okay, this is interesting. Okay. This is Family Feud. Oh, nice.

Not as in-depth as you'd think. All right, okay. But this topic is tearing a family apart. I'm going to have questions. Okay. Hi, Rosie and Chris. I have a question for you. When playing a board game, when you put the board on the table,

do you keep it running square with the sides of the table or do you put it in a diamond position on the table? That's a good question. During lockdown, my family have been playing more board games. I come from a large family and it has become a bit of a weekly thing to play a board game with all eight of us. Eight? Yeah, my two parents and five siblings. Oh my God.

I know. Get a telly. Five. Five siblings. Great game, eh? You're not working on your pull-out game. Jesus. In these games, a little bit jealous, though.

A little bit jealous. I mean, it must be lovely. It must be very nice. Genuinely, I'm jealous. Yeah. Robin's not at the age where he plays ballgames yet. I mean, he does, but he's a fucking cheat and it's a nightmare.

No, do you not think it would be nice to have five kids? No. No, but to have gone through, you could just erase the whole them being little stage and just have five grown-ups and be like, look at us. Are you asking me if I want five mates? Because I've got more than five mates.

No, but ones that you've made when you're a bit older. I would love five kids, but I don't want to have five kids. That's a lot. Five's a lot. It's nice though. Fuck me. How big's their fucking wheelie been?

I know. How many bathrooms you got? Five, eight people. Oh my God. A bit off topic here, but there's a programme on at the minute. Somebody messaged in of a family who live, I think it's in Yorkshire.

And this husband and wife, they own a farm. Right. They've got nine kids. Mental. Chop it off. Honestly, I'm sorry. After fucking four.

After four, I can imagine, four, okay. I don't know. I don't think it's okay. But five, after five, chop your dick off. Chop your dick off. What?

Nine? Nine? Nine kids. That's horrendous. You'd never have a drink with us oh god no I wouldn't even know you constantly pregnant

so there's 11 of them all yeah so they're a football team yeah skins or shirts yeah skins or shirts they're a football team yeah fuck me anyway

back to the five siblings back to the fucking the clampets playing board games yeah in these games we've come to a dilemma and have had large arguments

about how to put the board on the table to the point where half of us can't play a board game with the other half because of how the board is on the table. Wow. I am a believer in that the board's side should be parallel to the sides of the table so it's square.

Right, okay. But the others are firm in that it can be placed diagonally or just randomly of the table, so they, like, it's square. Right, okay. But the others are firm in that it can be placed diagonally or just randomly on the table, which, in my opinion, is not right. Wow. Do you have a preference, or is the lockdown getting to us? Yeah, I mean, first of all, you really know how to take the fun out of a board game. Before it's even started.

No, put that perpendicular to the sides, or I'm not playing. And no, I'm the shoe. You're not the shoe. I'm the shoe. You can be the perpendicular to the sides. Or I'm not playing. And no, I'm the shoe. You're not the shoe. I'm the shoe. You can be the dog or the sheep. Who wasn't allowed to be the banker in your family? Oh, well, it was only me, my mum and dad. So it was just really sad.

Oh, right, okay. Only the three of us playing. I got banned from being the banker. You got banned from being the banker? I cheated so much. Oh, I used to cheat. Oh, yeah. I was like slyly little 20s i cheated i got banned honestly like when we used to play well done for just picking 20s you could have went

500s but you just know i'm not daft but a guest mom didn't raise no fool was it why have you got nine 500s and you only own old kent road saving dad's just been saving being a jail loads oh you have to pay didn't you do that anyway um that would not bother me at all i wouldn't care where the board was um so i've got a theory um if you've got a a a rectangle table um it's probably better to put it diagonally so that it uh it fills more sort of so that table it's probably better to put it diagonally so that it fills more so that it's not centred more

so if you've got 80 around a rectangle table and you've got a square board if you put it diagonally the people on the far end of the table will be technically closer to it that's just sort of geometry would it matter because you are more of a what's the word pernickety person yeah you're

more pernickety than i am i would go with diagonal i like i like the look of diagonal and i feel like it leaves more space that surprised me either bit of the table plus it can mean diagonal probably means on a square table that you can get more people on each side because you've got two sides on each side rather than just one side on each side. I think Diagonally's bright and I'm sticking with it. Thank you for that, Rhiannon. And good luck getting some milk in the morning. Good luck to her family. Jesus, nothing wrong with her.

Hi, Rosie, Chris and small humans. Oh. I was listening to the latest podcast with the lady that flashed her gash getting out of the plunge pool and it made me flash back to a holiday I went on years ago with my dad please never say flash the gash ever again it gets worse it gets worse you can you can imagine the bant that goes on between this guy and his dad some some like right can i just a public service announcement here some blokes

who are emailing in to this podcast i'm we're not your mates on in the bar at the stag do look i'm sure you're lovely right just fucking sort some of your language out because some of it is so offensively laddish i don't even and some i'm sure some of them will be amazing emails and amazing stories but i read the first few lines and it's like oh so we went out like you know trying to find some slags i'm like right gone that email's gone could be the greatest story in the world the email's goneops in things like flash of the cash in the first couple of sentences. You're lucky this is getting read out.

Well, I just want to, before I read this, I just want to say, I think this guy thinks his dad's a ledge. I think his dad's a dick. Right. Okay, so here we go. Oh, but I like that he thinks his dad's a ledge.

That's nice that he thinks his dad's a ledge. I hope Robin thinks I'm a ledge one day. Yeah, but it'll not be for this reason. Right, well, okay, I'll be the judge of that. Okay. I must have been 13 slash 14 and a massive group of my dad's friends, brackets family and tour,

went to Alcudia in Spain. Get in. My dad was known for being dry and quick-witted, rarely lost for words and having a knack of saying the first thing that came to his mind. One day we were sat around the pool with no real agenda to where we sat. As people came and went my dad sat there doing a touch of people-watching. Anyway this one lady had been in the pool some

time and finally decided to get out using the steps right in front of our loungers. Unfortunately my keen-eyed dad had clocked something that no one should Oh God. Oh yeah. Dad's a bastard. I hope he didn't. Oh, what did he do? Oh, I'm scared. Oh no! As if this wasn't embarrassing enough for the poor girl, my dad, without missing a heartbeat, said, Hey, love, what's that?

Pull here for life jacket. Oh, no. What a prick. Cute embarrassment running off and a lot of nervous giggles. The poor woman. Your dad's a knob. Your dad's a knob, man. So there you go.

But actually, in his defence, I mean, he sounds like no but you never know whether it's just one of those things when it just pops to your mind and you say it I mean funny joke

I'll give him that funny joke don't say it to a stranger say it to your wife say it to your wife when she's getting over there don't say it to your daughter wife or sister

wife or sister no not even sister you haven't got a sister I don't have siblings I don't know how it works my brother said to me oh what's that I'd go

Kevin it's me tampon string You dirty, rotten little bastard Mum! I'd pull it out and hit him with it I'd smack it across his face Ah, yeah, your dad's a dick, mate Got another one here Hi, Rosie and Chris

I was walking home from work yesterday And came across an unconscious woman Who was bleeding. What? Yeah. I work in a hospital, so I sprung into work mode and started assessing the situation. Thankfully, another hospital employee was passing, so we started to treat the woman. She had lacerations, love that word, and hated at the same time.

It's a good word. It's like axe. I don't think I've ever been able to use it. Laceration. I don't think I'll ever be able to use it in a sentence. Well, I hear that word quite often with my true crime podcast a lot

I use it I hear it a lot but it is a good word I've never used it myself I just I don't I can't see me ringing like

you know NHS direct or whatever and them being what's the problem me going I've got lacerations on my back

and I go sorry I've cut myself well why don't you use it with Robin Falls over go he's lacerated his knee

we'll bring it back we'll bring it back Rosie quick come Sorry? I've cut myself. Well, why don't you use it with Robin Falls over? Go, he's lacerated his knee. We'll bring it back. We'll bring it back. Rosie, quick, come. He's lacerated his knee. Oh, shit, you come running. You just need to pep a pig plaster. It's like the smallest fucking cut in the world.

You said lacerated. I just wanted to use my new word. She had lacerations on her leg, which were bleeding heavily. So between the two of us, we managed to get her into the recovery position and stop the bleeding by applying pressure. Oh gosh. Fast forward, and the paramedics came

and took care of the woman. Afterwards, we realized our hands were covered in this woman's blood. The woman who helped me asked if she could wash her hands at my house, as I lived close. I said okay, and we walked to my house. I showed her to my bathroom, and she washed her hands and went on her way.

After she left, I went into the bathroom to clean the sink, only to realise, to my horror, my vibrator was on the side of the sink. I'd been cleaning it the night before and forgot to put it away. I am absolutely mortified a random stranger came into my house to find my bright pink vibrator. She works in my hospital and I'm terrified I'll bump into her and I will forever live with this shit.

That's lovely. That is lovely. I just loved how that, it just came from nowhere. That story was like, I thought they were going to, I thought they were going to have sex. Yeah, well,

really, is that where your brain went? Is that what this podcast done to you? Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For me, that was like a casualty

or like a 999 storyline and then it went straight into two pints of lager and a pack of crisps. I just love that joke. It's like. Got another one here. Now, obviously lockdown, the only positive thing about this whole horrendous experience for me personally has been,

I've been able to spend a lot more time with our son, which as the year was planned. The only positive thing. Yeah. As the year was planned, I would never have, I would never, I wouldn't even been here. The only positive thing. Yeah, as the year was planned, I would never have, I wouldn't even have been here.

It was crazy stuff. I would like mine and Robin's father-son relationship to aspire to, I'll get something next to this one I'm about to read here. Okay. Hi, Chris and Rosie.

I normally receive weird letters from my dad, but this one I had to bring to your attention. Today, I received this letter from my dad, which you might like to read. It went as follows. It's a letter. Okay. Hi, son.

I hope you are well and enjoying life. I didn't attend church this morning. You see, I had a slap-up meal last night of two pork chops, mash and beans with four bottles of plonk. First of all, I love the way he speaks. Slap-up meal. Haven't heard that for years. Plonk.

Great. Yeah. I woke this morning at 8 a.m and just couldn't stop farting now this is very dangerous as the church toilets are closed due to covid 19 and if i followed through i'd have nowhere to go it's gone 1 30 p.m now and i'm still continuously farting i've got the window open because i've literally been farting now for six hours and my room is beginning to stink has this this ever happened to you? Love you man. Dad.

So was this a pen to paper letter? Or a text? It's a letter and he sent it to him. That's amazing. That's very strange. Isn't that amazing? I quite like it. So are you planning on doing this with Robin? I want that level of relationship

with Robin. I want, hey of relationship with robin i want hey son how's your fart i'm farting loads ever happen to you write us back he fucking he had to go to the post box to send this i do love letters i've got to be fair he's probably got the five minutes out of his room yeah a bit of breath of fresh air yeah the thing is i can imagine robin enjoying that now and for the next few years. When he's an adult, I'm not sure so much. Yeah. If you got a letter from your dad just telling you all about it,

I mean, I'd be upset. I would be. I'd be like, Dad, please, this is not what I need. Dearest Rosie, my farts have been pungent this eve. I love as well, can I just say. There's so many blokes who think like this and i've never ever had to think like this in my entire life it's very dangerous it says here as the church toilets are closed due to covid19 and if i followed through i'd have no

way to go who why do men just constantly think they're gonna shit their pants yeah that that is a reoccurring thing that I've found during this podcast. I can honestly say, as a female, and I don't know any other females, that if I've had a bad stomach, the first thing, it's not been, oh gosh, I'm going to shit myself. It's been, I've got a bad stomach. I'm going to feel really poorly. Like, I'm going to be on the toilet all day.

Not, I'm going to shit myself. Why is that the go to thing like hold it in I can't go to church because if I fart in church I might follow through like it happens all the time I love that he missed church in case he shit himself is there any more letters is that the only one

that's the only one we've been sent but Chris if you want to send any more letters from your dad in we'll be happy to hear them wonderful I mean i don't know no no i would just send them to me just send them to me dude love it big love to your dad will you rise with the sun to help change mental health care forever join the sunrise challenge to raise funds for camH, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health, to support life-saving progress in mental health care. From May 27th to 31st, people across Canada will rise together

and show those living with mental illness and addiction that they're not alone. Help CAMH build a future where no one is left behind. So, who will you rise for? Register today at sunrisechallenge.ca. That's sunrisechallenge.ca. That's SunriseChallenge.ca. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th, when the Toronto Rock

hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm. You can also lock in your playoff pack right now to guarantee the same seats for every postseason game. And you'll only pay as we play. Come along for the ride and punch your ticket to Rock City at torontorock.com. This Friday. You must be very careful, Margaret.

It's a girl. Witness the birth. Bad things will start to happen. Evil things. Of evil. It's all. You know, don't. The first Omen.

I believe the girl is to be the mother. Mother of what? Is the most terrifying. Six, six, six. It's the mark of the devil. Movie of the year. It's not real. It's not real.

It's not real. Who said that? The First Omen. Only in theaters Friday. Get tickets now. Dear Rosie and Chris, please keep me anonymous due to the pure fear

of this ever happening again in my very small town in Somerset. Oh, lovely. We've just been there. I know. Sorry. Shout out to Somerset.

Can you remember when we got lost on the way into the Longleat campsite and we went down a dirt road and it was a dead end but there was one house on it and as we're reversing up the guy like popped out and just stood waiting because he knew he knew we were lost and i wound the window down and we went to say something and he just went you're trying to get to the campsite with a with a sat nav and we went yeah he went you don't use sat navs around these parts i was like you go right right

right right right right right you know you don't trust satnavs around these parts that was his exact words fucking legend amazing beautiful accent yeah amazing I thought I would share

a story about something I did in my early 20s which has never been forgotten to this day 15 years on from when the

disastrous event took place oh I like this I was home for the summer after my first year of university and we were going through a heatwave. Desperate for a cold drink, I popped into my local Sainsbury's. I grabbed a basket and slung it over one arm into the crook of my elbow and continued to use my phone in the other hand

as I headed over to the cold drink section. This is very well written. It's lovely, isn't it? Jesus. I know. I haven't had to change any of it, I know. It's like well written. It's lovely, isn't it? Jesus. I know. I haven't had to change any of it, I know. It's like a little short story. Well, she's back from university.

Oh, well, yeah. La-di-da. Yeah. This was back when having a Nokia 3210 made you feel like the coolest person on the planet. Focused on my text message and vaguely the direction I was walking in, I accidentally bumped into a small child walking with his mum. Happy days. As I was walking away, I heard the most almighty crash.

The sound of cans banging filled my ears, and a strange fizzing sound erupted out of nowhere, followed by shrieks of horror from other customers. As I wandered backwards to roughly where I had nearly hit the child, I saw a large tower of local cider on a stand being promoted with a special offer on it. To my utter horror, the tower was slowly collapsing as the cans crashed to the floor and were slowly fizzing and exploding all over the shop. Jesus! I realised I had hit one of the cans with the very corner of my basket when avoiding the child's head, nudging it slightly out of place and causing the tower to wobble and slowly fall to the ground.

God. Ciderfoam was slowly but surely spraying... Ciderfoam! Ciderfoam! Oh, you want to watch out for that there, ciderfoam round these parts. Oh, watch out for that there, cider foam around these parts. It was slowly but surely spraying out all over the refrigerated raw meat

in the aisle opposite. Oh, God. Over the bunches of flour for sale, over the yoghurts and ready meals on offer at the end of the aisles, hitting the ceiling, and worst of all, spraying onto my unaware fellow shoppers

as they unknowingly walked up and down nearby aisles. Jesus. I saw an old man being hit across his face in glasses with cider. It's a fucking disaster. A dad holding his young baby got splattered across the baby's back. Cider was even dripping off the top of the refrigerator onto packets of mince and cuts of beef. Bloody hell.

I stood there feeling helpless and ashamed, knowing that it was all my fault. However, things really took a turn for the worse. The shop assistants who were trying to stop the cans slowly popping open and mop up the mess called for security to clear the area to avoid more people being showered. They came running across and a very guilty red rash of shame filled my cheeks as people began to look at me pointing. Eyeing up the number of cans that had smashed semi-open and thinking about how much of my student loan I had left from my first year I began to feel a little worried. Knowing I wouldn't be able to cover the

cost I decided to try and be helpful instead to avoid having to call my parents and ask for financial help for my cider fallout. I bravely approached the store manager and I looked at him square in the eye and said I'm very sorry I think I may have knocked the cider over can I please help you tidy all this up? He looked me up and down and simply said, no, you can leave and not come back ever. I got home to my parents who initially gave me a bollocking for coming home stinking of booze in the middle of the day, assuming'd been drinking all morning i ended up crying in my dad's arms after what felt like the most embarrassing morning of my entire life wow my family were pissing themselves laughing

when the next day my dad dragged me back to the store to properly apologize for my behavior and offer to the pay the cost of the cider and clean up the mess. Wow. Needless to say, it took 10 years before I even attempted to go back. And even now, I really don't hang about in there for very long at all. I didn't like cider then and I don't like it now. Brilliant. Wow. Wow. Nice story that, isn't it?

Yeah. I mean, don't text. Don't text while you're walking around. Fucking hate it. I hate it when people walk into me on pavements because they're busy texting. Yeah. Stop it. Stop doing it. Don't text while you're walking around. Fucking hate it. I hate it when people walk into me on pavements because they're busy texting. Yeah. Stop it. Stop doing it.

Don't text while you're driving either. I saw someone walking to a lamppost once because they were texting. Loved it. One of the best things I've ever seen. Got a little bit of an erection. I was that happy. Brilliant.

Brilliant story. The thing I took from this is you don't see many stands like that anymore, do you? That's why. Is that why? Very bold. I mean, we're talking... I would... I think that's dated is that very bold i mean we're talking i would i think that's dated

perfectly i imagine nokia 3310 time was when that kind of shit stopped yeah because people started paying a lot less attention while walking around yeah i never thought about that actually do you know what i mean back in the 80s everybody was just oh look at that cider tower oh don't it look lovely why am i buying me of them I'm getting so excited I'm going to cider foam everywhere and yeah now they're all

playing Pokemon Go that's it Snapchat and the dicks to each other it'll be not insane but yeah you never know further question

to you both is Rosie if you could ban Chris from a particular shop which one would it be and Chris if you could ban

Rosie from a shop which one would it be and Chris if you could ban Rosie from a shop which one would it be wow anywhere that sells sofas online and in person sick of it stop buying them

one in the front room is a bit too big to be fair you love that new sofa so don't even dare I do love it but still still got a bit

of a funny smell yeah oh that's oh god nobody hasn't settled in the house yet you walked in the house the other day and went, right, what's that smell in the house?

What is it? Something smells. And you walk around like a fucking Labrador. I'll get to the bottom of it. Something smells and I don't know what it is. There's something rotten somewhere. And I'm thinking, has Robin stuffed a sandwich behind the settee or something?

Is there something... There's something going on. Good luck with that because I can't smell it. I'm going to find it. Where would you ban me from i don't know you don't really go in any amazon i'd ban you off amazon i know it's not i know it's online but you just love amazon there's someone comes from amazon nearly every other day honestly every time like on like lad bible or on the internet or whatever every five minutes they put the post out photos of Jeff Bezos

and say his net worth went up 8 billion yesterday and all that and everyone's like shocked and I'm like nah yeah I get it

that's me that's me buying stuff all the time constantly just shit just shit like you know I remember when

we needed curtain hooks you know like I'll get our Amazon I was like go to Wilkinson's why would I fucking walk around Wilkinson's

because they might not have them like I said before I've said it on one of was like, go to Wilkinson's. Why would I fucking walk around Wilkinson's? Because they might not have them. Like I said before, I've said it on one of the, it was a sponsor once, the guy's gone in touch, I remember. It was a sponsor once, walking around the shops looking for stuff when the internet exists. My mum still does it, she goes, my mum says things like, hey, I went to six shops to try and find them curtains. Fucking go online, click it,

someone will bring it to your house. It's amazing, we're living in the future. You're killing the high street, you are. The high street, the high street. You are. The high street. The high street. You are killing it. Well, the pigeons should wear nappies if they want me to go back to the high street.

Stop it. So we were discussing this, Rosie, the other day. You put a photo online of your baked potato with balsamic glaze on, was it? Oh, yeah. And someone messaged going, it's got brown sauce! On your tuna? Yeah, on your tuna

because people are nuts. What made you say that? Because I've had an email about your food photos. Oh. And I said to you, people's opinion on food is crazy online.

The two things that you, if you're going to put a photo online that you want, if you want people to argue with you, put a Sunday roast on or put a full English breakfast on. Full English breakfast, yeah. Everyone has got an opinion. Well, there's only one Yorkshire, small York want people to argue with you, put a Sunday roast on or put a full English breakfast on.

Full English breakfast, yeah. Everyone has got an opinion. Whoa, there's only one Yorkshire. It's small Yorkshire. Two big Yorkshire. Why is your beans touching your egg? Not enough bacon. Where's the mushroom?

It's fucking ridiculous, right? It's breakfast by committee. Uh-huh. Madness, right? Someone's emailed in with this, right? About my jack potatoes? Yeah, so they got annoyed about something.

I'll get to it, but then just listen to the hypocrisy in this email. It's incredible. But I think they're aware. They're going to wind us up. They're aware. They're very self-aware.

Rosie, I saw on your Instagram the other day that you were enjoying a jacked potato with tuna and a side of beans. Yeah. Tuna beans blodge. I'm all for... She's abbreviated three times to J-potato, which I quite like.

Nice. I'm all for a tuna J Potato or a beans J Potato, but not the two together. Anyway, I feel mean for being appalled by this flavour combination, and I started thinking about my weird food habits. So she's realised that she's bad as well, right? Good.

Listen to these. Whilst at university, one morning after a heavy night, I discovered the combination of pizza crusts dunked in strawberry yoghurt. Horrible. What? Get in the sea. And she's slagging me off,

having beans with me tuna jacket potato. Two things that are very well associated with the jacket potato. I just happen to have them at the same time. She's dipping her pizza crust in her yoghurt. Is she having a laugh? And that's at uni, so that's the next morning. So that's communal pizza crusts, I'm guessing. So that's other bits, so that's the next morning. So that's communal pizza crusts,

I'm guessing. So that's other bits of people's corner of the mouth. Oh, that's leftover crusts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She wants locked up. I have no idea what possessed me to do this, possibly still drunk, but don't knock it until you've tried it.

Well, I'm not going to. I'm never going to try it. My friend at uni used to have rice, baked beans and grapes. Horrific. Rice and baked beans, I could get on board with that. Could you? Absolutely. Irific. Rice and baked beans, I could get on, I can get on board with that.

Could you? Absolutely. I love beans. Yeah? Bit carby though. Bit carby, rice and beans, yeah.

Rice and beans, it's a thing. Yeah, but this will be baked beans, Heinz in a tomato sauce and like rice and beans is a thing,

but it's different flavours, isn't it? Or it's kidney beans in a rice. It's like black beans usually, yeah. Yeah, this is... Fair enough.

Yeah. My fiancé eats raw pasta as a snack. That's not good for you. Spaghetti or penne like they are crisps. That's really... Like a fucking horse. How is that possible? That's really bad for you.

That's going to cut your anus when it comes out the other side. Not if you drink enough water. It'll just go pastry inside, won't it? No, I need boiling water. Oh, good point. Maybe drink water and go for'll just go pastry inside, won't it? No, I need boiling water. Oh, good point. Maybe drink water and go for a run.

That's not... Go to sauna? Maybe don't you try pasta? You know? And finally, the other night, I don't know why,

but myself and my fiancé tried one of our dog's new Weight Watchers biscuits. Great. And we're both pleasantly surprised. Dogs have got

Weight Watchers biscuits? Well, that's the main thing I took from that is someone's looked at their dog and went, right, you could do with using a couple of Clem. You fat little shit. What are you putting your dog on Weight Watchers biscuits for, you bastard? Poor bloody dog. Put your dog on a diet.

Let's take a minute here. I can't stand seeing overweight little dogs and cats. Well, it's harsh, isn't it? Not worse, is it? Yeah, well well it is sort of animal abuse but I mean come on weight watchers

but you can have biscuits but you can have these these non no sugar non sugary ones refined and they tried them

they tried them said they're lovely said we're we are seriously considering eating them in a bowl with milk like cereal

really really and she dares come at me We are seriously considering eating them in a bowl with milk like cereal. Really? Really? And she dares come at me with having beans and tuna. Do you know what she should do? She should get your name out of my mouth. Get my name and my jack potato out your mouth. Hi, Chris and Rosie. Hi.

So my story is, my mum and dad are divorced and they're both remarried. And now we all go on holiday together. What? With the new husband and wife. We always have fun and really enjoy it. We've been greased together to say my dad's new wife's family. Rosie. What?

Swingers. What? They're swingers. No, they're not. They are. There's no other explanation for that. That's really weird. Well, can I finish the question?

We all enjoy it and it is still spoken about today My question for you is If you ever got divorced and remarried Do you think that you could go on holiday together With each other's new partner? That's strange isn't it? I mean that's lovely I don't mean to poo poo anyone's

They've made the best of life and that's a lovely situation They broke up and they're still going on holidays Together, both sets of I mean, that's lovely. I don't mean to poo-poo anyone's, you know, they've made the best of life and that's a lovely situation that they've got. They end up broke up and they're still going on holidays together. Both sets of... Personally, I think it's absolutely lush. That's all I wanted to say about it. I think it's lush, but I think it's weird. Do you think we could do it? No.

Right. I don't think so. I don't think so. Because I think if you really have been in... We've talked about this before. If you really have been in love, fully, deeply in love, I think you then can't just be mates afterwards i don't think it's i don't think it's possible yeah i know no i do know what you mean i think well obviously we're just talking about how we are now yeah and if you were on holiday with another woman i'd be you know

devastated it would be horrible but i don't know whether in years and years to come if anything god forbid did happen like my mum and dad split up. They worked together for 32 years. And I think when you've got children together, it's a lot different. But I personally, all I took from that was I think that's really nice. And it must be nice for them as kids to be able to have their mum and dad go on holiday together.

Absolutely fair play to the parents. Bloody well done. But yeah, I don't know if we... Thinking about it right now i couldn't do it i mean going on holiday with mates is annoying anyway going on holiday with me to used to have sex with and live with could be even more i mean come on like if you're when you say that there i was like which of our mates have you had sex no that's not what i meant do you know what i mean like oh what time we're going to have a dinner oh she's not ready oh he's

funny no no he's still at the bar like oh fucking and then oh do you know i I mean? Like, oh, what time are we going to have a dinner? Oh, half seven. Oh, she's not ready. Oh, he's fanning on. Oh, he's still at the bar. Like, oh, fucking. And then, oh. Do you know what I think as well? If that was a thing, and if we split up, and then we went on holiday with our new partners, if your new wife was moaning about you,

I'd be like, yeah. Oh, God. And I'd just join in. Fucking horrible. That'd be horrible. But you'd be the same with my new husband, so it would just be really strange. Yeah. And you'd be like, yeah, they used to do that all the time. Oh, it And I'd just join in. Fucking horrible. That'd be horrible. But you'd be the same with my new husband. So it would just be really strange. Yeah.

And you'd be like, yeah, they used to do that all the time. Oh, it's not your problem now. Yeah, but for us, it would be even worse.

I know. Because it would literally be, oh, he does that. And you'd be like, well, listen to this. You'd whip your phone out and go,

look, episode 42, a podcast we used to do together. Didn't we? Listen, I talk about it. Yeah, have a listen.

And you'd just be playing it constantly. I know. Oh, no. But it is very sweet. Very sweet. Well done, then. But weird and not happening.

So there you go. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Can you do us a favour, Robin? Can you go babadoo, babadoo, bah? Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. All you've got to say now is... All you've got to say is very important, right?

It's very important that we don't get paid, right? Say, say, thank you very much for listening to this week's podcast. Thank you very much for listening to this week's podcast. Right, and then say, this podcast, because we can't get you to say the word, we'll get in trouble.

Say, say, this podcast... This podcast... Is, this podcast is now part of the Acast Creator Network. Boom. High five. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Ah, very rough. Very rough. Okay. Ah, that only asked for a high five. Very rough. Very rough. Okay. I only asked for a high five.

You're invited to an immersive listening party led by Rishi Keshe Herway, the visionary behind the groundbreaking Song Exploder podcast and Netflix series. This unmissable evening features Herway and Toronto Symphony Orchestra music director Gustavo Jimeno in conversation. Together, they dissect the mesmerizing layers of Stravinsky's The Rite of Spring, followed by a complete soul-stirring rendition of the famously unnerving piece, Symphony Exploder, April 5th at Roy Thompson Hall. For tickets, visit tso.ca. Rock City, you're the best fans in the league, bar none. Tickets are on sale now for Fan Appreciation Night on Saturday, April 13th when the Toronto Rock hosts the Rochester Nighthawks at First Ontario Centre in Hamilton at 7.30pm.

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