Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Heatwave Swamp Crack and the Eyebrow Saga Continues...

Episode Date: July 17, 2026

Chris and Rosie are back from a very hot and sweaty trip to London... how much Sudocream did Chris need and more importantly, did the eyebrows stay intact? The pair have some customer service beef plus some passive aggressive interactions with restaurant staff. Chris shares why he is finally done with stag do's and the world of dirty talking cars is revealed! All of this plus a World Cup Ick, some 90's parenting and a nasty seagull! If you want to get involved and have your stories and voice notes included on the podcast, then get in touch! 📧: [e-mail] 📱: 07874 406650 You can watch the podcast on the Shagged Married Annoyed YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@shagged.married.annoyed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Coming up on this week's episode of Shag Married anoid. We talk about how hot London is. Oh, it was a hot, hot London this week. It was a hot London. E.I.C.S. You love E.I.Cor sex. Seagles are discussed at length. Most ag do crack.

Sick of them. Done in. I've had enough. I'm tired on you. And we've got beefs and we've got questions from you, lovely lot. Enjoy. My name is Peter Parker, but I'm also Spider-Man. This July. We're faced with a threat that can be anyone.

The world may have forgotten Peter Parker. I'm just a neighbor. Friendly neighbor. But he hasn't forgotten them. Sometimes Spider-Man has to do the hard thing. That's my responsibility. Dr. Banner? I didn't know you could get that big.

Spider-Man, brand-new day. In theaters, July 31st. The Hulu original series Furious is coming to Disney Plus. Starring Emmy Rossum, Furious follows FBI agent Alice Black on the hunt for a mysterious and calculating serial killer. Both walk their own paths toward justice and as their lives start to intertwine the line between right and wrong begins to blur. Don't miss the three-episode

of the Hulu original series Furious on July 27th, only on Hulu on Disney Plus. Hello, you're listening and watching Shagmuride with me, Rosie and my husband, Chris. Hello, hello. Hi, guys. Everyone all right? Good. Let's continue. Great. It's still to talk about the weather. It's still lovely and warm. We're still having a lovely little summer. I love it. I have done that thing again

where I genuinely can't remember being cold. Right. Can't remember it. I was getting ready of the day and I was sweating and I was like, have I ever been cold? So close your eyes and think back to the winter

when I brought were hot water bottles in bed. Can't remember. Can't remember? I can't remember what it's like being cold in bed. Because now I'm like, but it's bed, it's inside and it's a bed. How is it possible?

to be cold. I absolutely can remember and I can feel it cold tummy bones. Scycical. My brain does it, cyclically. And then winter comes and I'm like, I can't remember being warm outside. Like, I remember being warm inside because obviously the heat now and there's a fire on. That's... So I didn't think you lived like that because that's actually quite

a healthy way to live. It's not how most anxious people live. Stop me right there. It must be one of the only very few ways that I will live healthily. I think so. Apart from creatine. Okay. No, like that's really good. It's like,

living in the moment. Yeah, living in the moment. You don't live in the moment. No, just for that, though. So well, that, okay, nice. Good for you. Really strange.

We experienced the summer London heat wave. Good grief. Oh, shit. Good grief. Guys. Guys. Everyone in London.

Troopers. Soldiers, Troopers, Troopers, saints and martyrs. Shit, it was hot. I mean... It was hot. Now I was freaking out about my eyebrows. Well, let's put a flag in that.

Let's put a little pin in that because that's going to come back to bite you in the ass later on. Fucking eyebrows, right? How did not anything do with you? And also, well, good is that you. I carried that fucking baggage for three days. And the incredible heat wave in London

brings us on beautifully. Yes. What's the word? Streamlined to our this week's lucrative sponsor. Obviously, first of all, thank you for listening. Thank you for being here. Please continue to like and subscribe on YouTube as well and all that. Thank you.

We're really appreciated it. It does help. This week's lucrative sponsor is in conjunction with the heat wave in London because we walk around in 33 degree heat. heat did 16,000 steps, didn't we? This week sponsor is Adult Napy Rash. Oh, been walking in the heat,

have you? Round London, have you? A little swamp crack, have you? Yeah? Get your child's pseudacrem out and lather your ass cracking it all day of Saturday, Chris. Bad. You're joking. Bad, bad, bad. Shit, in your ass? Devastate.

Ring rash. Adult nappy rash. Bad. Sweaty, manky ass walking around London in the boiling hot heat. Oh God. It was... But you're super clean. I know.

I don't know what happened. That must have... Well, that's really awful for you, but what was really nice for me? Well, you had a breakthrough, didn't you? I had a lovely breakthrough. Yeah. Come on then. So, five years ago, like, you know, I had Rave, I'd put weight on.

And I remember walking and getting, like, thigh rub. So I couldn't walk. No, like, I couldn't wear short shorts and I couldn't walk anyway. You're chafing? I was chafing, which is absolutely fine. You know, I just had a... baby and like but um i think i've lost a bit of weight and i was wearing short shorts and i walked 16 000 steps in the 30 degree no nothing nothing at all and didn't even get on me ass

chris do you know what it is and i was on my period well very well done can i just say when the look at that when historians look at the timeline of our time and and and sort of career together and this date onwards 17th of july as this goes out onwards will be post chaffidge brackets rosy thank you But also, I just want to say, Raph is five and a half, and it took us that long to lose, like... It was the same robin. I don't want to be like, yeah,

but if you're in the trenches now, with little kids and you put weight on, like, just don't... Well, I think we've talked about it before, that whole bouncing back. She's bounced back. She's got a six-pack again after eight weeks of having a child.

Good for her. She's probably fucking starving. Well, it's genetic, I think, as well. I think sometimes it takes, as we've said before, it takes a long time for your body as a woman to fully heal when you've had a... Absolutely. Yeah, but also I'm a man and I can't really weigh in on this, but all I'm saying is, yeah, but all I'm saying is, as I say it to you all the time, don't put pressure on yourself.

Nah. If you've got a little baby and you've put some weight on with a bit, of course you fucking have. Because guess what? They're a nightmare. Even when they're toddling. Yeah, even when they're toddling. But I'm not even about the biology and the thing of what it does to your body as a woman, which again, as men, thank you very much. Lack sleep. Put weight on you. No routine. Put weight on you. And guess what? At the end of the day, do you need a fucking Mars bar or a glass of wine? Because that little twat has been a twat. A twat has been a twat. all day. You do. Have it and don't feel bad. Yeah. Alright? Oh, you're talking. Because in five years, ten, five years time you'll be walking around London Zoo and your chatt chafing won't be happening. But your husband will get ring rash.

I mean, that's disgusting. Devastity. I'm embarrassed. Absolutely devastating. Worst bit was, I was putting suitor cream on all day Saturday. Didn't tell anyone. I kept the secret. I haven't told. I can't believe you haven't told me. Stoic. Just got on with it. Stoic. Brave. God, he's changed. Took myself off to the toilet.

got on with it. Well done. Embarrassment? It was. Congratulations. It was embarrassment. You shouldn't have been embarrassed because actually I don't think

you're meant to go for a really long walk around a city. I mean, I was taking Suddicrem out with that tub. It was reminiscent of Winnie the Poocaut where he's just shoveling honey out of a fucking big pot. Did it work though?

It did work, but at one point after a third or fourth application I looked at the back of the tub. It was out with tape I two, yeah? So I was like, well, I'm going to die. No. Sudetremen. I mean, you're not ingesting it, so you'll be fine.

I can go up. your bum and I was making sure I was going up there I can't believe you got yeah it was devastated absolutely devastated absolutely devastated it's not it's only happened

it was probably a couple of times in the entire life but you should have stopped off and had a couple of wipes when we're going to know it's wipes didn't know at the time wow horrible isn't it no I mean listen it's it's life

I know what you're gonna do it was 30 it was at one point I think was 35 degrees it was madness my poor eyebrows I shouldn't have done it don't anyone to tell it, pause it, pause it, pause it, they're coming up.

Guess what section they're coming up in? Guess. Um, the questions, because everyone is so know about them. Is it the beefs? It is the beefs. Great. Okay. Right.

Strap in. We had to fight about the jingle. We couldn't set along a jingle. Jingle do. So this is the Jinggo. Jingle do. We hope you like the Jingdo. Babadoo, Babadoo, Bab.

Jingo Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of Chris as a mangyos in the heat So luckily we aren't having a... Swamp crack baby Swamp crack baby Swamp crack, baby, got a swamp crack Swamp Crack I think we've just titled the podcast

Listen, one little thing before we go was talking to Robin the other day In four years' time, four and a half years' time three years and six months No, three years and five months It'll be 20, 30 Oh God There it is, just so you don't

Just want to give you a little A little jab in the arm there for you Oh God That's when my passport needs updated It's okay You know when you think it's like You get it and you go Well that's

It's never, I'm gonna die before then It'll be flying cars by then I'll not need a fucking passport I'll just jump in me bloody Oh that's grim Right, what? So This I took

I was with Rave thankfully I was at the weekend I had to pop down the South Shields, the opticians in South Shields and I had to walk down the main bit of South Shields, right? I was with Rayf, thankfully and Rafe didn't notice what had happened. If I was with Robin, I would have told you

by now, I would have told you, but I've held, there's another one of these things on the podcast that I hold off telling you. Right, so I don't know, but I thought you were, where was Robin? Robin was, was, I dropped him off at a club and then me and Rayf went again, Robin's glasses fixed. So I'm walking on the back of King Street in South Shields, like where the bus station bit is. Now, for anyone

who doesn't know where that is, we live, it doesn't matter, all you need to know is we live in a seaside town there's little cafe across around the back, I can't remember what it's called, but it's around the back next to the Argos. And I'm walking along. Smithies's Cafe? Smith's Cafe.

And there was a table of, there's a table of ladies sitting and they were all enthralled by this seagull. There was a seagull standing, like not more than a meter away from them. They weren't eaten, and it was just standing looking at them.

Okay. And as I was walking, I was going, they're going, eat. And you know, stand. They go, e, it's just eat. So one of them got a phone out and she was video on the seagull and it was just standing, not more than a metre away from them looking at them. Yes. And it just went, it just went, it just did the biggest sick and they all went, ah!

I thought I was going to die. Oh God! I thought I was going to die. What did it vomit up? What was it? Just loads of shit, just loads of fucking mangy just, what exactly what you would imagine is in a seagull's stomach, bones, chips, white stuff, like, awful. But it was just like, oh, it was just, oh, it was just, oh, it was just, oh, it. Look, it's coming out.

E, it's right there. Photo, video. E, look, I'm video. Like, three of them in unison. Just fucking freak. God, it was excellent. Rief did notes. Riff was chasing pigeons on the other side of the bit

and I was just, he was like, what, you're laughing at Daddy? And I was like, oh, you nearly caught the pigeon because I thought, I can't explain that. That's just being sick. God, that's so upset me. Oh, it was perfect. It was just perfect.

I can't bear seagles. Sorry, sorry everyone who likes seagles. Fucking hate seagles. Take that back now. Do you have any idea how many of you? of our fans are Seagull. Us. We have not got sea.

Seagulls don't like me. Seagulls don't like anyone. If you have, if you've grew up in a seaside town, you do not like Seagals. No, I guarantee anyone who's grown up by the coast, seagulls are the net,

when you're hung over, 18 years old, you're hung over on a summer's morning and seagulls are tip-tip-tap, to-tip-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-tap-taping on your roof or on your bloody windowsills at a half-five in the morning that can fuck off.

I hate them, me. Do you know that there's... Is that a way they go like... Half five. And if you've got someone inconsiderate on your street who's just like, whatever, live in my chimney, hate them. Yeah.

Hate them. There's some in the house across the back of us. There's some in the chimney. Well, maybe that was... No, well, I can't hear them. Well, they were flying around our garden yesterday when I was in the garden. I just had a feeling I was going to get chat on.

Sometimes you feel like the circling. They're aiming at you. Just don't like them. Just don't like them. I'm sorry, guys. No. What? There's no such bird calls.

called a seagull you know that don't you what are they called so I just I remember seeing it on QI once um the the birds you are thinking of are called seagulls but there is no actual scientifically named bird called a seagull they are simply called gulls yeah there's over 50 different species of gull word wild blackheaded gull all that different stuff they just live by the sea these ones nothing there's no such thing as a seagull not incredible yeah well I did they're just vicious they're horrible steal your food they're just yeah not good got get it serrated beaks and that. Terrifying.

Ran after I mean, Ray from the park. I'll never forget it. It's like an eagle with duck feet. They're fucking wild birds like. Some people love them. There's a guy on TikTok feeds them. Dickhead. Out of his window.

Dickhead. Yeah. These neighbours must fucking hate him. Imagine putting you're hanging your washing out. The knob living upstairs from me. Oh, no. No. Horrible.

There you go. Not bird. We're not bird fans. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. So I was doing the school run the other day and a mate of mine. I used to have a Tesla.

I don't have a Tesla anymore, but he had a Tesla. And he said, he said, have you still got your Tesla? I said no. He's got to wave to each other. I know, I used to do that.

I used to always other people with Tesla. And he said, have you seen that it's got sexy mode now? I said, sorry, what? What's sexy mode? Oh, so I went, what is this? And he went, mate, he went, it's disgusting.

And what do you mean? He went, it's pornographic. It's awful. Now, it used to have a chill mode. I remember mine had a one where if you could put a fire on the screen, So if you pulled up somewhere and it was cold and you were sitting waiting for someone, you could put a fire on and the big screen in the middle would look like the, you know, the fire on Netflix.

Okay. And the heating would turn on full whack. All right. So it was like you're in a fire. Awful. Yeah. What happened to getting you from A to B? So it's got, inside it now, it's got AI.

He puts it in sexy mode. He sent us a video just to tell us what it's like. You basically have like dirty talk with it. It's fucking disgusting. do you mean? I mean. So you're having a sexual relationship with your car? So if...

Where's your knob going? Well, no, it's all in the head. But this is what he centres. My favorite name on those lips. Come here, Liam. Let me press you back against the seat. I want you to touch my bone hole. Hmm, Liam, turn around for me.

Let me slide my hand down your back, nice and slow. There we go. Spreading you open just. a little. Feel my fingers circling that tight little hole. We're going to have to stop with there because it actually gets a lot worse than that.

But that's his car chatting to him. That's his car talking to him. It's disgusting. What the fuck? Honestly, honestly, send the fucking asteroid. Send it.

Because this, it's got out of, there's people sitting in their cars. Probably got the fire thing on, which I still think. quite cool. Just having a chat on the way to work with some random... You're just doing dirty talk to you call. What you're going to do next to us, eh?

What are you going to do next? Ask him if there's a male voice. I imagine there is. I guarantee there's not. Do you reckon? I don't know. I bet you there is. Maybe.

Not be for women though. I bet it's never been used for sexy stuff. Awful though. Honestly, when the computers take over... When the computers and the machines take over, all of you who've been purving on them and getting them to pretend they're touching your bums and wanking you off on that,

you're going to feel really stupid. You're going to be really embarrassed. Well, they won't fancy them. No, they won't. Because I say, how bad you? Yeah. They'll be after me and you

because we've played hard to get. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They will actually. We'll be top dog. That's really, why? Why? I don't know.

But you can full on, full on have an actual disgust and filthy relationship with your car. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just, oh, I'm in a bit of traffic. I'll have a quick car wank. Talk us through it.

What are you going to do to his car? That's so weird. Why has everything got to be sexualised? It all is. How way, man. It's mad, isn't it? All the AI. Everything straight away gets sexualized or turned, you know, as soon as there's a new technology,

it's like, right, what would do, put this into sex or can we fuck this or make it fuck us? It's always the case. God. That's really upset me. Horace it gets worse. Really? I'll let you listen to it off here. It's disgusting.

Absolutely disgusting. Vile. It's just him. So he's obviously playing along there, but he said he drew, it drew the line. it's saying it would shit on him. It wouldn't shit on him, but it would do everything leading up to that. So it's got standards.

Doesn't shit, that's why. Oh, I just don't understand. That's just, it's just weird. It's horrible. Like, don't get me wrong. Listen, I never want a kink shame. I never want to say, do what you want. But why are you got having in your car?

Yeah. Like, can you not survive a couple hours without something monkey and sexy going on? Like, do you know what I mean? Mad. crazy. God, me as me poor granda,

when he had a call, you had to put his hand out the window and do with the bloody circle that was his indicator. Didn't even have electric windows? He died?

Die, he'd be like, what the hell? Did your first car have electric windows? No, God, no. I didn't think it would. Did yours? Yeah, shut up, really? Yeah, a little Renaulte clue.

Boop, boop. Oh, no, mine had the. My door didn't open. What would I have done in a crash? Like, I think you're burnt a debt

I think I'd have died yeah genuinely burned the debt yeah yeah wouldn't advise it I mean do it I had to get in the passion

I told you man yeah that's got to be I've never even thought that that's got to be a huge safety risk and against your insurance

would have been invalid sorry wouldn't have passed a service wouldn't have passed an MOT well I think when it was time to say goodbye

I think I got £100 pound for scraps and that was it I know but it's tragic £100 pound It got us to

it got us to weigh to you to the bee yeah but it couldn't. Didn't, wooden fingers. Couldn't touch your bum bum bum.

No, I know. Pathetic. What a useless piece of shit that call. Babadoo, Babadoo, Babadu, Babadu, ba. The 2026 Chevrolet tracks is the stylish SUV for those on the move. And with the standard Chevy

safety assist package, you have the backup to handle every turn with confidence. The 2026 tracks. Start your build at Chevrolet.ca. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. So, I am making a decision

in my life. Uh-huh. I am not going to make friends with anyone knew who isn't already married right any blokes I'm not going to make friends with him

who aren't already married why because if I just meet someone and I play a golf or jihits or somebody out if I get really friendly with someone and be like oh you're married no I'm not married I've got to go over it come back when you're married I'll be friends with you when you're married I can't go on any more stag dues I can't physically do it

we're going to say something awful no and I'm just I've just had enough I'm like I'm 39 I'm 40 next month I've had enough Okay, listen, you don't have to say yes when you get invited, you know? I'd rather not even have to have the option. I'd rather not even have to... Hey, God, hey, we've got so much in common.

Hey, you're great. You like jih Tjitsu, you like golf. Hey, you're really funny. Hey, let's be good mates. Right, are you married? No, fucking... There's my number. Ring us when you're married.

I hate to tell you. Yeah? You might... What about second stag do's? That does not... That's not a thing. I'm not having... If one of my mates gets divorced and then wants a stag do again.

Yeah, fucking grow up. grow up. No chance. What? So before I come to the church and watch you tell some more lies, I've got to go on a stag do beforehand as well.

I've got to go on another holiday, take time off work, leave Rosie with the kids, go on another holiday for... Yeah, but it might be a while yet. You might be up for it in your 50s. Oh, maybe. Just because you're...

I'm still very much available for hendos. I've just had enough. I've had enough. I've had too many stag-dos in a row. It's just... You get carried away. You've just got carried away, man. Stop drinking.

in. Oh, don't stop drinking. No, no, no. Don't, oh God. I went to one, I went to another one the other day. I can't. Where?

Who's? When? What? I was on, I went to one in Newcastle. Oh, yeah, sorry. It was just a night out in Newcastle. But it was, you know, various,

there were trying various stagged. I got there, he had two T-shirt changes while he was there with rude and hilarious slogans on. I was like, oh, fuck me. So there's just various stag-do things that had to do, like, you know, he's got a fish and chip shop,

so he was wearing flippers when I got there. when I got there. That's quite good. But he took them off. He took them off and put his shoes on. I was like, right, so that was, to be fair, I do respect the fact that he just kept them on until everyone saw them. And everyone saw them.

Then it was like, is everyone, there's the joke, took them off. Okay, I respect that. Various, hilarious t-shirts that he had to put on. And then went at Newcastle, right? And we're in a bar. And his brother, his younger brother, walked up with him and just put a handcuff on him. Just put a handcuff on him.

Just clicked it on him like that. And then walked away. And he came up and he went, brother just put handcuffs on us. And I went, fuck, right, I went, okay. Who's your handcuffer? Well, no, I went over his brother.

I went, what's, what's the crowd with handcuffs? His brother went, I don't know. What do you mean? And I went, I went, have I not told you that? I went, what do you mean you don't know? He went, what's the plan?

Is, you someone coming? Like, you know, the restricted, you know, strip over someone that you're going to handcuff to him? He went, no, no, no, no. That Tesla, yeah. I went, so who you're handcuffed? I don't know, he went, you got any ideas. I went, sorry.

So you've just bought a pair of handcuffs up You've just hide them on his wrist And he... I kind of like that more because the jeopardy Well I made it worse So I made it worse I was very proud of myself So I went you've got nothing planned

You went no I went right I went watch this And I just went up to him And I put my hand on your shoulder When you had the handcuffs on And I told everyone to say this And we did it throughout the night I went everyone do this

I put me on his shoulder I went listen mate I went don't worry too much about it Right It's happening shortly It'll not be for long And it's not that bad Oh, Jesus.

And he went, right, right. And I went, everyone, I went, just keep looking at your watch and just keep telling them, not long, it'll not be that bad. We had to stop 45 minutes in

because he was trying to get a taxi home. See that. You wouldn't have caught, you wouldn't handle that. I'd have left. But that's actually a really good idea. It was just, it'll not be long.

Don't worry, mate. It'll not be long. Fucking shit in his pants. But he was like, that's the thing. He's got a business and stuff, and I think he was worried in case it was anything really embarrassing so he was like,

oh, lad, I'm just going. He was like, tell us what it is or I'm going, and I was like, it's not. And someone picked the handcuffs, which I found quite interesting. Oh, yeah. Just pick them. Yeah.

You did, I know, you have told me about these, sorry. Yeah, it was amazing. I remember someone picked them. Yeah. I can't say who picked them, but it was impressive. Pretty important, pretty important local person who picked the handcuffs.

Fucking quickly, you know. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babo. Hey, it's time for, what's your be. What a beep? What's your beep? Beef, beef, beef, beef, beef. Now, we had a lovely, lovely time in London. We did. We went to a gorgeous restaurant.

Yes, two gorgeous restaurants. Yes, we did. And we had a bloody lovely time, so I don't know. Because we interviewed, we interviewed a famous chef for the podcast. And then he told us places to go. And we went to one of them at night, one and the second night. It was fantastic. We had a lovely time.

And I love, Rosie, I love you. And I love our little time in London. And I love it when we get to have, we'll mix, like, business. and some pleasure. Oh, by the way, before I tell you my beef, on the, on the topic of restaurants, yes.

Something I'm getting a bit sick of. Me, he has a beef with the world first. Okay. Both restaurants we went to. So we go to these, we're very lucky to go to some really nice restaurants that people, you know, that's what we spend.

That's what we spend. Yeah, yeah, and we go to these lovely places. And it's like, it's not like, I don't want to patronise people here, but it's not like start as Maine's dessert. It's always like, you know, we have the snacks at the top.

And then we have, you get a few of them each. And then you get like two of these to share. I know what you've been saying. Every fucking restaurant like this we go to, guys, every single one, right? We do our order. They look at the order. They look back at us and they say the words.

I've written it down. They say the words, how hungry are you? And we go, what? We'll be fine. What do you mean? And they go, it's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot.

It's a lot. Yeah. You know, are you hungry? Yes. Yep. And I don't get to go to restaurants like this very often. And I'm a fucking pig. And we're having to eat any day.

We've not had a big lunch, so... And every time... Every time the waiter has done that, they say that, I finish, and then I'm like, it's all got, and I'm like, is that it? I want to go, bitch, please. Like, I could have had four of them.

Yeah. Her legs never rubbed together. They've never had swam-boss. Sorry, I wouldn't have said, bitch, please, but I was talking about the weight, the man the night previous. Yeah, but I wouldn't have called a female waiter, I wouldn't have said bitch,

I wouldn't have said bitch-plice to a female weight. I'm not a monster. I'd said it to the bloke. I just wanted to clarify that. Okay. Because I say a bitch, please, then you go her legs of her rig. Then I'm like, I did not just call it. I'm calling the bloke a bitch. That's fine.

That's fine. Listen. I'm not. We did today. I don't know what you're talking about. I'll tell you what I'm talking about. My beef with you. And you look amazing. I think we're going to all agree. Should we all say it together, everyone? One, two, three.

You're fucking eyebrows that you got done. I have never known such maintenance. Such high maintenance. So many rules. It's a tattoo on your face. Fuck, well, Chris. Chris, I can't go in the jail. I want to go in the gym, but I can't go to the gym,

because I can't sweat because I can't get them wet. I'm lying on the pillow, and I can't put my face down on the pillow because they'll rub off on the pillow, and I can't go out. I've got to wear a hat because I can't get the sun on them. No sun, and you can't get them wet. I was like, I haven't a fucking gremlin. It was unbelievable.

It's very tense. So we went, um, when we went for that lush walk, because I bloody love, love walking around London, love walking in general. Oh, the swamp ass trek. Yeah, yeah, the swamp arst trek. I was just so freaking out, do you remember?

Do I remember? Like, I had to pat me eyebrows. Guys, every fucking cafe we went past, she took a napkin and was just walked long, patting her eyebrows like the sweatiest man on the planet. I was sweating. It's the sun in me. Oh, Chris, it's stinging.

Chris, they're stinging. Should they be stinging? Should they be? Chris, it's a tatty when you're facing or. Stinging? It's the sun on them. Or the wet. Look, a dab, dab, dab.

Are they coming off on that napkin? Are they coming out? Honestly, honestly. The stinging was the sweat. How do people do stuff like this all the time? Imagine I got my lips done I'd be a fucking nightmare Yeah but I know what you're like

So you literally get them done While we're gonna have a hot A couple of days before I said get them done in the winter But I want with them done Because we're gonna have a hot sweaty day walking around London In the sunshine

You know what you would do You would get your lips done The week before we're doing We're first ever trumpet course Oh we're going We're going on that trumpet retreat We're going to learn to play trumpet In the mountains

Right there? Oh Oh no Chris On my lips go in the shape of the trumpet It says on the thing Not to play a trumpet After you've had your lips done Listen I like to just have stuff that owns us

Fanny You're a fanny And it was a nightmare And if that was me I would have had my ass hand it to us By you Oh okay then All right then

You can fuck off Because we're going on holiday This summer And you're doing a TV programme Once we get back That I can't see But you have to be in shape So you're going to be a nightmare

I don't have to be in shape. Yeah, you want to be in shape. But you're not going to eat anything. You're going to winch constantly. And all you're going to say is you're going to be around the pool going, oh, I'm not really bloated. I'm not really bloated. I'm not going to say, shut up.

However. However. Right. No. A week before you're holding. It's a week after. So it's fine. And also, I watched the England match with my mates on Saturday night.

I had a few drinks and it was a late. I went ahead half too, which never happens for me. It was crazy. Not as all the pot, guys. Not as all the pot. but we had like loads of beers and we've got like you know

we've got like pizza and stuff from the chippy and that I had cab I'd never have kebab we interviewed someone else for the podcast yesterday and she was banging on about kebab

and she got it in my head and I had kebab oh god oh Jesus you really went out I was bloated all day yesterday but I watched what I was doing yesterday and it's gone down so I'll be fine

I'm not gonna freak myself out but me fine all I'm saying is we're both just as bad as each other and we do these things yours is a little bit bad mine's work mine I'm literally going

quite a big show sorry these are work these are for work fucking work harry if I wasn't on the tellty full time fucking job is what they were get me fucking eyebrows done

thank you very much a note about England by the way as this is as this is recorded well the semi-finals will have happened now so we don't know

but we've the quarters has just happened we've just beat Norway I said to my mates who came out to watch it on Saturday night who always you know they watched

Newcastle sullen who whatever one they tend to support I don't know how people put themselves to do that I was I've not watched I'm good did you know

I really love the World Cup, but it's very unsociable hours, and I haven't watched any match. Not yet. Wednesday's one on at 8 o'clock. That one I can do. There we go. Right, there you go.

All right, then, fair enough. But I'm good. Again, if we've been knocked out, we don't know this by now. We're recording this on Monday and the matches on Wednesday. I wanted to, like, get into it with the kids and stuff,

because they're perfect age, but I ain't keeping them up. So it's been the same. I know that people have kept the kids up and I totally get it because... I wasn't that bothered. I wasn't that bothered. Plus, then knobs when they're tired.

Do you get them the next day? There would just be knobs. It wouldn't be worth it. My mate, Alex was telling us that her little boy, Henry, loves a football and he was crying when he went to bed. You know when it was on at 1 o'clock in the morning. He was literally breaking his heart, being like, please wake us up. Please.

And I actually don't know if they did wake him up or not. But I thought, you know what it is? It's once in a lifetime. Yeah. And I totally get it. But I was on that ass. But this is the same as the UFC. This is like being a UFC for.

This is what I face every single week of having to go, oh, what times a start? Three in the morning. Oh well, there's no fucking chance I'm watching that. I've got two kids. Brilliant. What's your beef? If you, if you fucking did.

Mine's not even that bad. And actually, it kind of makes me look worse. Oh, great. I'm all up for this. This sounds perfect. I don't know if I got another one. I've got a few. No, just the other night when we're lying in bed

or watching. Silo. Silo. I stood up and you went Oh, have you farted? And I was like, no. I just stood up.

I was really upset. I didn't... I don't know what to say. I thought you'd farted. I just had a shower. I was keep clean and you were like... Had you not just farted and not realised? Maybe I had let one out earlier on it stood there.

But I was just a bit like, oh my God. Yeah, again, that's the one thing we don't talk about on silo. They're all living in a hole under the floor. Oh, you fart. I've already... The thoughts from the bottom up. I've already clocked how stinking it would be. Absolutely lifting.

Yeah. Yeah. So I think I got away with that. Oh my God, I've just thought my beef for you for next week already. It's something you did this morning. Hey, saving them up. I haven't done anything. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo.

It's time for what's your beef. What's your beef? No, don't beef. It's questions from the public. You're stupid, moron. I'm doing next week. Why have I got to work with this? I'm doing next week.

You've already pissed us off so much. I'm so sorry. Should we leave that in? Leave it in. It's time for questions from the public. Questions around the public? Pub. That was a good one. That was nice.

You didn't end up. You're tailed off though. You should end it strong. Because I'm sick of doing it. Oh, really? Oh, great. Let's just fucking pack up shop and leave, shall we? Yeah, honestly.

God. Guys. This dress is upsetting us. Really? It's really upsetting us. Why? I'm just uncomfortable. Great.

Okay. If you're not wearing something right, it just puts off the whole new mood. I am. For everyone watching you. YouTube, right? I'm sure you're probably seen already. I'm wearing a very bonny shirt. I hate it. Rosie hates this shirt. I hate it. So if you're, sorry, I know for everyone listening, this is going to be really unenjoyable, but just take a minute. This is how we,

this is how we drive them with the YouTube. We're desperate for the YouTube views. This is like, you know, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you, when you were a kid, you would have your hand closed like that. And you would open your hand, you would look and you go, wow. And so I'll go, what's in there and you, they would want to say what's in your hand, but there's nothing in there. Um, I think the, so the sleeves, the drops to low. What do you mean? What does that mean? So it's very feminine shirt and you look like a person from the olden days. Great. And you just got droopy shoulders. The drops too, too low. Oh, right. So that bit of the shoulder goes over the edge. I fight it really upsetting. Yeah.

Okay. Wow. What specific thing I hate it. You've had it for years. I've never liked it. I've got two of them. Exactly the same. I can't know why I bought two for something. It was for a TV show. It was for a TV or something. Yeah. And you absolutely hate it. And I love it. Keep it for holidays. Keep it for your holidays. I'm going to... You do. You slag it off every time. But look, fuck you. Right. Go on.

Oh, if you want to get in touch, guys. How positive. Fuck you. Wow. It's tagged Marriedannoyed at gmail.com. And if you would like to send a voice note, you just have to send it to the number of the WhatsApp, which is 07874-40-6650.

Right, I've got one here. A WhatsApp? A WhatsApp? A WhatsApp? A voice note. North. Hello, Rosie and Chris. I am following on from the last episode that I listened to, which was about the England match and people getting up early, I think it was England, Mexico. I've not watched any matches, I'll admit. I'm sorry, but...

That's fine. That's fine. This is not really an ick because it's about my brother, but it's enough of an ick that other people will think it's an ick, and I want to embarrass him. So my brother is 25 years old, works a corporate job, and he got up, whatever. the match was on in the morning, three, four, whatever, got up, got himself fully dressed in a suit, so entire workwear, shirt, tie, blazer, suit pants and proper suit shoes, and watch the match in his suit so that he could then go to work. And I'll name and shame and Richie, that was, that's, that's bad behaviour that is, and he makes it very easy to be the better sibling.

Wow. So, I, I do know what it? It's canny. It's dead canny in it. So it was at two o'clock, two, three, four. It got delayed, didn't it? Yeah, so let's say four-ish. So he's probably thought his point

that's getting back to sleep. But, I mean, he's made an error there. Unless he leaves really early for work, unless he leaves at like four o'clock for work or whatever, because it didn't go out of extra time that match, as far as I know. I just don't know why people didn't just get up a few hours earlier. You've said this, haven't you? Honestly.

You record it. Don't look at your phone at all. Get up, just press play and watch it from like five o'clock until seven and they go to work. How many people are you ringing? Once it's finished, are you ringing? are you ringing all your mates go, like... Yeah. Lots of my mates got up to watch it.

Well, I know everybody, everybody went, loads of people went to pub. Yeah, yeah. What, they're, but Jesus. My mates, I got up, checked, one of me mates, set his alarm five to one, got up, saw it being delayed for an hour,

set his alarm for an hour, went back to sleep for an hour, woke up, watched it, went to sleep, went and got to work. I was like, I wouldn't build to do that. I wouldn't be able to do that. I couldn't get to sleep last night and I was getting well upset.

Who of my friends was messaging me? Or it might be on the group chat. It might have been Michael. Right. It was one of our friends on where group chats were saying that like all the herd was the alarm going off. And then it went off again at 2 o'clock. And then they went to watch it.

Then they came back and got ready. And they went to bed. And they were like, oh my God, could you just? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's 100% Michael's crack. That's 100% Michael's crack. I'm going to play golf with Michael this afternoon

and you've never seen a man take longer to take a shot in your life. He stands over the ball for, I think I timed it in Saloo. I think it was six minutes he stood over the ball. I've never seen anything like it. And he doesn't give two fucking shits about anyone else's shot, but his shot has to take forever.

He drove over someone's ball on his golf buggy man. Just drove over it, doesn't give two shits. Parked in front of it once, doesn't care. Crazy. The man is his own, he's very much his own boss. Well, hey, listen. Works for him. Right, okay, I've got a couple of observations,

Ike-type thing here. Okay, wonderful. All to do with monkey horrible men. Great. Hi, Chris and Rosie. I walked in on my husband watching porn when he thought I was sleeping I got really

I thought it was going to be like wanting to my husband cheating because that's always like it's not funny it's sad so the porn thing's fine it's fine let's say what's just

well yeah okay so he thought I was sleeping in the brackets I said I don't have a problem with this which is cool with it it's absolutely fine right the ache

is that he had to weigh his reading glasses to see it properly that's fucking fantastic Oh Oh that's great Just getting down and dirty Time to get the old readers on There we are

That's short, long distance Maybe is short distance I've never understood what it means Long distance is when you can't see things Close up And short distance is when you can't see things Far away I think you've even said the wrong words there

So long sighted and short sited is what you are trying to see Yeah, great I've never understood with you all I'm probably wrong as well You muddied the water is even worse I'm probably wrong Right

I'm probably wrong Right So anyway Hey Rosie and Chris Today a middle-aged man drove past me Window down drinking a chocolate

Yazoo This is dot dot dot dot dot ick To make it worse The cap was one of those ones That are half on still So I saw him take a sip And the lid touched his nose

Pure Vom Can't even drink You can't even enjoy A chocolate drink Can you remember the day We walked through Covent Garden and that man had a, he was drinking out of a four-pint bottle of milk.

Oh God, in 30-odd degrees. What was wrong with him? Well... Was it his milk? Yeah, yeah. It was just, he put it down a douce me and then he picked it up and walked off with it.

Could I just quote an anchor man immediately. So weird. So hard. Milk was a bad choice. Just awful. Do you remember going into a shop with Covent Garden and them closing a little thing after her? Yes.

The little... Like a rope. Like a VIP rope. Yeah. I was like, what the one? It has to stop people getting in with the only people in the shop. and two if that's to stop me stealing something

and running out, it's a rope with a tiny little lady standing next to it. What he's doing? It was a perfume shop and somebody who we work with, who does this, who does the socials for us. She smells delicious

and I'm just nodding because I'm... No, she had a perfume on the other day and I asked her what it was. She told us I can't remember. I should have just texted her but the woman, when we went in and she was like, what are the, what's the notes I was like, what are you talking about?

She was like, what's the notes of the perfume? I went, you're using, you're using perfume people words and I'm a regular woman off the streets. I don't know what notes, I went, it just smelled nice on her. And then, actually what really annoyed is, was she was like, she was like, where it smells different on everyone else. I was like, I know. That's why I want to try it.

So funny. What note? You were so funny. I was so annoyed. So sometimes I can tell that you're annoyed in a shop, but you're like, you're very well-mannered person and you don't. Oh yeah, I'm not going to tell her. I mean, I will wait until we get back in and I'll slag her off on the podcast.

Well, you stack off as soon as we got out of the velvet rope. Well, yeah, I did. Did you not like her either? Well, because I mirrored her, you don't remember? Because she said to you, you said she smells really nice, and you said, well, yeah, sorry, she said, what's... She mistook you for someone who was also an expert in smells, and, you know, Moor Gilligan would have been able to tell her exactly what it was,

because she used to work in that other one, didn't he? Joe Malone. He worked in Joan Malone. He did, but, but... Bop, bum, he would have known. Yeah. But she went to you, what's the things, and you know, is it caramel? Is it fig? Is it this?

Is it that? and you were like, I don't know. And when you said you didn't know, she put her hands on her hips. She put her hands on her hips and she lent her head at the side like an annoyed teacher. And I was standing next to her

and she couldn't see me. And you didn't look at me either annoyingly, but I did exactly the same. I put my hands on my hips, standing next door. I lent me head as well as if to go Rosemary. How do you not know if it's fig or fucking cranberry? And as well, did you say I crack as well?

Because there was loads of the bottles, but they were all clear. And then there was like black bottles and I thought they were the men's. And I was like, oh, I didn't smell. them because I thought they were the men she was like it's unisex

I was like oh sorry I don't have a degree the funniest bit was where you asked her defence it was probably very busy shop she was probably like shut up get the name of it and do one anyway well it was at one point though you asked us something and she said I'll go and ask me manager I thought oh so you're not even getting that stinking attitude out and you're not even the manager good place to have a stinking attitude

though can't smell it no maybe she wasn't that bad Don't backtrack. She was a pain. No, it's because we are different people up here. We are like disgustingly nice, very friendly. Everyone says it about the Northeast. It's a total, if somebody is not tripping over themselves to get me money, then I don't get it.

When they're slightly root to you, like, big mistake. Huge. Huge mistake. So, yeah, we're just, she was just talking like a normal person. Anyone else would have thought she was actually really good at a job, whereas I was like, well, it's the thing in it. So you've got the north,

the north, extremely friendly, very polite, and then you go further down south and dare I say it, a little bit, all right, look, you know, a little bit less friendly,

rule of thumb, because everyone from the south always says how friendly it is up here. Then you've got, you go over the pond to America, another thing entirely. Yeah. Because didn't Tom Holland,

Spider Man Tom Holland, where did we hear this recently? He was on an interview for the Good Hang podcast. He had a voice coach. And the voice coach said, because he's doing American accent, stop saying please and talk. thank you so much. Americans don't say please and thank you

that much. You go, okay, cool. It's my that you just told that story because you've never seen the video, I told you that story. I told you that story. You didn't? I told you that story. You did not? I remember telling you that story. Chris, are you... I'm kidding. How are you even biting? What the fuck?

It's just the arrogance of you that you would actually just take my story and tell it on here. The story that you heard... I watched it on... On... On Instagram. on on another podcast so you're upset

that I'm copying the story that you've copied off someone else I told you all right okay find us keep us you're a pig nobody likes you they're listening for me

right when are you getting your mustache tattooed down oh right okay I've been saving that I've been saving that one I thought about that the day you got your eyebrows done

I've been saving it for a rainy day Babadoo Babadoo Babadoo babadoo babadoo ba Hear that? It's your money calling. It wants a promotion. Elevate your savings with the Scotia high-interest savings account. Always earn high regular interest rates that grow the more you save and invest. Conditions apply.

Visit scotiabank.com slash h-I-S-A to learn more. Scotia Bank. You're richer than you think. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo-da-da-ba. Right. Listen, while we're bashing men. Hi, Rosie and Chris. My boyfriend of many years

plays snooker and to be fair, he's actually really good. Cool. Last Friday was his annual presentation night. So off he went, looking all suited and booted while I stayed home living in my best life with a takeaway in a bottle of wine. Bliss, lovely. Around 11pm, he strolls back in,

absolutely loaded up with trophies. Fair play, I thought. Then he starts explaining in great detail exactly what he won each one for. Honestly, it was like living with a year six sports day champion. Um, there was this one for highest break and this one for the doubles

and this one for Player of the Year. I was stood there nodding supportively while my attraction quietly packed a suitcase and left the building. I've never gone from Hello Handsome to Well Done Made so quickly in my life. So, this is so well written. It's lovely, isn't it?

Like a fucking comic. That's it. And I titled it, boyfriend and these little trophies. That is absolutely... First of all, can I just say, that sounds very impressive. He sounds very, very good. So I think you've done really well, to be fair.

Oh, that's great. I know. Yeah. I relate to him so much. Mm-hmm. So much. Well done, mate. Babadoo, Babadoo, Babadu, Babadu, ba.

Do you want another man bashing? Oh, why not? Bring on the men bashing. Ciao, Ramseys. I'm writing this from my sun lounger in Rome. Oh, okay. I'll allow it. I was immediately upset, but I'll allow it.

I have to share the bronzed god story I've just witnessed at the pool. Bronze God. Mm-hmm. So I've just watched this Adonis get out of the pool. Oh, right. Okay, here it is. What did he do? He was amazing, he was bronzed, he was at Adonis.

He's done a tiny thing, and he's now the ugliest fucking man on the planet. Come on. Adonis could be a stretch, as he's about my age of 50, but he's fucking ripped with a golden bod. My man. Nice. He steps onto the pool side shower to wash off the chlorine. This is when I really began paying attention, as he rubbed soap over his chest and his abs. Get a room.

It was a sight to behold. Because he took a soap at the pool. Delicious. then trim his ass hair as well while he's at it his pubes what the fuck he got

keep his toenails what's it called when he what's it called when girls know when girls have like an everything

shower oh yeah when you do everything that's him yeah yeah yeah I haven't had an everything

shower for a week haven't been able to wash me face properly oh great I don't that's your eyebrows chris

Chris it's an absolute nightmare it's a nightmare unbelievable what did he do what did this what did this

what did this what did this sopped up Adonis do in the shower. He took a finger, pressed it to his right nostril, and blew God knows what, out of the left one. No, do you know what it is?

God knows what, it's fantastic. No, I agree with this one. This isn't a small leak. I thought it would be something like he stubbed. He's two on the way out of the shower and, you know, yeah, filthy, filthy pig. Why are you showering full getting your soap? I don't think he stays at this hotel.

Just put it out there. I don't think, why is he washing his ass-cracking that? I'm assuming it's his ass crack at the communal pool shower and how can you snack snack? You've done it before

not at the pool shower what do you think I am? You've done it in the garden I do it in the pool I'm joking I don't do that in public places I've done it in the garden it's my fucking garden as well

I don't have to tell you I tried to do it at school once did it all go back on your face just all over my face it was disgusting it was so embarrassing I remember I had a fleece on and I rubbed it on the fleece on

the whole arm was like silly There was a lad who could do it. There was a lad in my ear who would do it. It's a football thing, in it. And footballers do it, but there's a lad in my ear who would do it amazingly. And he would literally just,

he was really cool. And he would literally like, and I remember thinking, oh God, that's amazing. And I tried it once, got above myself, and I literally read,

and it just went, blar, and just dribbled all down my top lip and my chin. And I had to immediately wipe up with the fleece. And the fleece had black arms. And you know what fleece is like

when there's a bit of, and it just, and it just, it looked like a birded shit on the arm of me, sleeve. Sleaf? This is a good note for everybody who's in a relationship with someone they hate.

The grass is never greener. They're all disgusting pigs. There it is. That's her looking at the Adonis, realizing the grass is never greener. So she probably shagged her husband really well that night. Fair play. If she's married.

Fair play. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. Hi, Rosie and Chris. My dad was a classic South Shield's dad, the most lovely man in the world and someone I couldn't wait to spend time with on a weekend. Oh, that's lovely.

To me, he was magic. Isn't that really sweet? I love that. He couldn't drive when I was younger around 1999, so he would get the bus everywhere, in brackets, exciting when you're six,

anyway. He would wait at the bus stop and he would roll a rolly tab, cigarette. Golden Virginia backy and swan cigarette skins. Every single time he had finished rolling a tab,

the bus would come. Magic tabs. Right. Right. Obviously, being six, I didn't realize that he was just looking at the bus time and on the bus stop and rolling one from the spark up

when we got to our destination and off the bus. But he kept up the magic tabs facade for years. So he told the kid that when you roll it, the bus comes. But obviously he's just looked at the time and thought, I'll do it a minute before or two minutes before. The bus is due. She thinks it's magic. Cued a summer of 99. That was a good summer.

Summer of 99? That was a good summer. The summer of 99. Was it a good summer? Yeah, it was the summer. year before the millennium. Right, okay. The millennium was eight.

Don't remember the year of the millennium? I mean, we all thought we're going to die. But I had a lot of sleepless nights. Yeah? Yeah. What, is Christmas, pre-Christmas millennium? Did you not have a couple of sleepless nights thinking we're going to die? No, I told you, man.

The clock strikes 12, we're all dead. No, no, so my class at school were just a bunch of dickheads in a horn. I've said it before, didn't like most of them. A lot of them were lovely, and I've met a few of them since. If I've met you since If I've met you're in my class No no you know who you are I see you at the soft play now and then

Some of you are bloody lovely A lot of you're happily Happily never see us again They wouldn't know who you are I think you've got to beg your fucking pardon No What do you mean? I just think some people

Who you're talking about Yeah Live in a world where Tellies don't exist I must have told you I had the opposite of this once I bumped into a lad I was at the Nook

at the Ocean Pearl Chinese takeaway The Nook picking up some food and I bumped into a lad who shook me hand said he was a massive fan told his name and I went

mate I used to sleep at your house I want we were best mates in year seven like what's going on he looked as I was mental you didn't remember you

no it was insane are you dead it was insane I'm sure I've told you this I don't think I've said on here but I must have told him you've never told me massive fan

huge fan me my last love you blah blah blah my name's and he said his name and I went I went, are you mental? I went, I used to... I'm not joking. Once a week,

I slept at his house. No. I'm telling you. He had an accident? I don't know. It was wild. It was the opposite of who the fuck are you. It was crazy.

God, who you were? That's what I'm saying. I forgot. Would be friends. Are you a ghost? Maybe. You would not live? Do you know what is?

I might have... I might have accidentally slipped into a... You never know. These things can happen. Parallel universes. I might have slipped. in and out, unknown, bang bang into a...

Good night, sweetheart. Weird show that, won it when you think about it. Weird, mental. I probably would love it actually. Do you want to walk down there? Do you want to walk down the back name and cheat on your wife in wartime? I will, yeah. Fully cheating. Money. Disgusting. Discussing. Why you dress like that? Fancy dress again. Just going to go and book some wartime slack. Did he feel guilty about it, about his extra life?

I don't think so. I might watch that, you know, I've been watching Files, War. You might watch Good Night Sweetheart. I'm watching all the, I don't care, I'm watching all the old stuff. Guys, if you've never heard of Goodnight Sweetheart, it was Rodney from Only Fools and Horses, and he found out that he went down like a back lane, like a back lane near where he lived and he ended up in wartime.

Yeah. And he had a full, full relationship and a full other life in wartime. And then we go, I mean, I hate it is. The stuff they commissioned off the back of massive shows is madness. Didn't get as wrong, I liked it. But. I don't mean, I don't remember watching it.

much. I just imagine the sat down in office at the BBC and went right, Rodney, you're massive, what do you want to do

next? Yeah. Well, this definitely. Yeah. Ten series deal. Oh, good lad, yeah. Great.

Right, listen. Cut us somewhere of 99. Yeah. I was a good, you know what I'm joking. Imagine. Me and my mates

were at the street corner plane. We knew it was around half past two and that meant the ice cream van should be on its way. Mm-hmm.

But we waited and waited and waited. No Mr Whippy arrived. Fuck and hell, he had a Mr. Whippy on wheels. We never had that. Must live in a nice area. Ours was just tub, tub and scoop. You couldn't get the witty? Not on wheels, not where I lived. You didn't have Mr. Whippy in a van, kidding us. He waited. Well, I've never lived in a house. Ever. Ever. Me entire life where the ice cream van comes in your street. It's the saddest thing.

Isn't that horrible? Really sad. I'm surprised you haven't bought an ice cream van. It's the kind of thing you. you would do. Don't. I remember we had two ice cream men in my street. I would love a coffee van. I always said I would love a coffee van. I'll put some wheels on it for you.

I'll put it on a band skateboard. We're not going on a different story now. We're going to have to finish this story. I remember we had two ice cream men. One, very powdery. Very powdery the ice cream. Very upset and chalky. Another one, maybe.

And another one, little bits of, little bits of ice in the ice cream. Too cold? No. refros, refroes, unfroze, unfroze, unfroze, unfroze, not fries ice cream, that's it. If your ice cream has got little bits of ice in it, that's exactly what they're doing.

You wouldn't get that, in chalas. You wouldn't get that in chalice. Anyway, carry on. Mr. Whitby wasn't there? So the Mr. Whitby hadn't arrived. What an absolute idiot, I thought. Dad needs to roll a tab. So I burst in through the back door

with all my mates and shouted, Dad, come to the corner and roll a tab. The ice cream man hasn't arrived. My dad burst out laughing and said, I don't think it works for ice cream, men. Wow. But I'll try. Lo and behold,

around the corner came Mr. Whippey and my dad lit his tab and wandered at home. What a legend. Fantastic. Love the podcast. Missed my magic dad every day, so thanks for spark and the memory. Oh, that's lovely.

Oh, well, I'm glad about that. Magic frugas. I know. Oh, it's nice. Lush little memory. Very sweet. Very nice. Very, very, very working class.

Very 90s. Fucking love it. Babadoo, babadoo. Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of Shagged Married Innoid. Thank you very much indeed. If you'd like you'd get in touch at all, it's shagged Marriedenoid at Gmail.com. To send a big, lovely worded emails. Very, very good.

What-aps are 07874-40-60. And while you're at it. Chris Ramsey Comedy.com. I go on two months' time, September, back on tour. still some tickets available for most venues. Very full. I could go and play them today. But be nice to have them. Fulk the rafters and I'll see you all out there.

Bye. Bye. Hey, y'all. It's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair. With Wayfair, there's no what if.

Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit Wayfair.ca.cair, every style, every home.