Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Liberating hand towels on tour, Talk Radio and The Rosie Ramsey Guide to Sex

Episode Date: March 13, 2026

On this week's Shagged Married Annoyed Chris and Rosie Ramsey discuss videos of pimple popping, a new game called 'Jeremy', friend of the podcast Carl Hutchinson's latest odd behaviour on tour and why Rosie is fully in to Talk Radio! Beefs involve some low level theft and Questions From The Public cover a weirdly placed ribbon, an unfortunate plane incident and a new term of endearment...yes King! If you want to get involved and have your stories and voice notes included on the podcast, then get in touch! 📧: [e-mail] 📱: 07874 406650 Enjoy all these episodes on the Shagged Married Annoyed YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@shagged.married.annoyed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Coming up on this week's episode of Shagged, Married and Oud. I've got a two-out update. Oh, we're waiting with baited breath. Yeah, we're bloody love hearing more than I've been up to on the road. We talk about dreams. We don't tell you we're boring dreams, but we do talk about dreams. There's a little bit of dream chat. I've got a big announcement.

Oh. Rosie's got a beef with my new criminal enterprise. Didn't say that one coming, I'll be honest with you. It says here that I'll lash out, but I don't know what you're talking about. You don't remember lashing out? No. Yeah, you're lashed out. Yeah, you lashed out for the tease topics.

I was like, well, mention that in the tease, that Rosie lashes out. I can't wait, I can't remember, but that's great. And as always, we've got the questions from you, lovely lot. And a cheeky little voice note. Enjoy! Hello, you are listening and watching Shag Madenoy. I'm Rosie, and this is my co-host, Christopher. Wow, co-host, yes, very professional, also married.

Also, sometimes, not often, but sometimes do the, do the dirty. Sometimes. Ew. Not always. Listen, at least twice. At least twice. It's all you need to know. Stop asking.

It's rude. This is rotten. Hope you're all well. The world's still going to shit. I don't think anything's actually being sorted. But again, come here for the relief. The release, let it all go. Let it all hang.

We've got to take your mind off it. We've said it before. We'll see it again. We did it with COVID. We'll do it with everything. We're yet to take your mind off it. Listen, we can chat shit through almost anything. Natural disasters, man-made disasters, wars.

We'll still be here, chat and shit. As long as the lecky's on, we're here. Yes, exactly. So there is. We've had a serious conversation. earlier on. Yes, yes. We've had a politics, conversation.

Yeah, we do that sometimes. I'm never up for it, just so you know. Well, just so you know, I've just had to explain everything that's going on in the world of Chris right now because he doesn't watch the news. Nope. Which I understand. I don't do it out of any ignorance. I do it out of, I do it out of the fact that, we said we take it from his minds of it.

I do out of the fact that I can't do anything about it and talking about it doesn't solve it. It's like talking about a problem that is unsolvable. Yeah. It's the same reason I don't listen to talk radio because, someone always phones up, they go, right, we're discussing this, and someone phones up and goes, well, this is it. And then someone else goes, well, this is it.

And I go, right, well, they're going to tell us the answer in a minute. And they go, oh, that was nice. Now I want to another subject. I go, all right, so no one's got any fucking answer. So I'm just listening to people argue. I'm all right. I've been listening to LBC a lot. Yeah, yeah.

Which is great. Taxi drivers in London love a bit of LBC. I really like LBC. And if I'm not in a good place mentally, I do feel bad, but I have to say, can you please turn that off. I can't listen to this because I've got to go and be funny in five minutes. They do get a, like, it's good because it's varied. Who's ringing up, oh, I'm going to ring up and have a shout.

All right. Depends where you're on your life, like. Go and do it in the park. Go and do it in the park, like, you know, have a bit of respect. Go and shout with the pigeons. Stop ringing the rear. I'm joke. I would.

Shout the pigeons. If we weren't in this position, no, I would ring the radio. Do an accent? Do you know, not offensive one? Just do scows. I do, yeah, do you. Do you, your Bristolian one? I do bestolian.

Yeah, yeah. But no one would take you seriously, no offence to anyone from, because I was in Bath this week. Lovely place. Oh, thanks to everyone who's been at me gig so far, though. But yeah, it's a very lovely friendly accent. And I do believe if you phoned up and you were like, oh, my lover, I think Elbe Zee would.

I'd ring Sheila for a goodie because she's my favourite. I'd say, all right, Sheila, how you do about my love? Yeah. I think they'd rip you the shreds on Lipsy. As with Jordy, as with Jordy, if we run up, we were like, right, yeah, listen, this is the crack, right? This is what they need to do to fix this.

It would be like, everyone, everyone just switch over for five minutes while this idiot talks. I hate to say this. I've never heard of Jordy on there yet. I'm not surprised. It's very well. It's very London. We'll keep ourselves to us. We'll keep ourselves to ourselves.

We're simple people. I know. You know? Well, I did when I went to me Pilates the other week. I'd had my headphones in and I went in to put me shoes in that and I was like, oh, I'm just listening to like a news podcast. And the majority of the women there were like, oh God. Oh, God.

Oh, God. Yeah. So we all just bury our hands. Just a little rewind there. Just to sum your life up now. You're listening to the news podcast and LBC. and you're going and doing Pilates. Yeah.

I told you... Are you a 55-year-old divorced Hollywood wife? A what wife? Hollywood wife? I wish. No, I told you when you're on tour, I'm not doing much. Yeah.

Lady of Leisure. So that's basically my life now. Good. Yeah. Congratulations. Yeah. Well done. But the turnaround to get the kids to and from school,

it's fucking horrible. Oh, oh. You can't do it. And then I'm nuts, right? So I can't, like, if I've got to go get the kids for half three and I've got to leave for like 10 to three, or whatever.

I can't do anything after 12 o'clock. I understand. They're just going to sit and wait. I'm like... So I do it with my head. I'll go like... I'll sometimes do it even worse. I go like, I've got to get the kids

to say like half three, right? So it's like half ten now. Right, but that's basically midday. And then that's like one, two, three. I've got to go now. Yeah, I'm ill. I can't do anything. I've got to go this minute.

I know. I can't... These people who are who squeeze things in at every step of their day... I'm so envious. Sometimes I can do that. Because you go, like, how are you going to make it for that? And I go, look, I'm there again, I'll bu, bum, but sometimes I absolutely can't. I go, and if someone goes like, oh, sure, I have a meeting, we'll have a Zoom or we need to have someone at work,

or go, we'll have that meeting, like, at half 11 or something on a Monday, I'm like, oh, can we not just do, like, can we do half eight? I'm on the way back from the school, and I'll chat to you, and then I've got me day. But half 11's a fuck, that's a right kick in the ass, isn't it? I know, but what you've got to remember is most people are in an office. We don't have that life. We don't have that life. Oh, I don't know.

But, yeah, it's wild. Anyway, anyway, right. Listen, listen, it is time. Speaking of work, it's time to pay them bills. It is time for this week's Lucas Responsive. But first, thank you so much for listening. Thank you so much for watching if you are. Them subscribers are creeping up on YouTube.

We're going to get the little plaques. You haven't actually seen. Not loads, but say a couple of years' time, I'll get that plaque, that 100,000 plaque for Robin. Just rub it in his face. Thank you for watching. Thank you for listening. Please subscribe and all of that stuff.

And again, we would just love that you're listening. The fact that we're up the top of them comedy charts every single week. Mad. It's still mind bone. It really is. Just blowing my mind recently. What? I think I haven't been on tour for so long.

Now that I'm on tour, I have some moments when I'm on stage and I'm saying me, me stories. Jokes. There are jokes, jokes, you know, I'm not like, what happened to the, but the jokes. Why did the trick and cross the road? You don't have none of that, do you? If you know me, if you know me, it's jokes weaved into a story and, you know, I'm just taking the piss where you're just chatting away. It's all made up.

It's all fake. None of it's real. Well, there's video evidence at the end of this one, so I think I'll find. I'm joking. So I have like an out-of-body moment sometimes where I'm like, eh, I'm standing here chatting. And these people are like, there's thousands of them here. And they're just listening and laughing.

It's mental. What, still? Still, it doesn't leave, I don't know if anyone else does. You're coming up to your 20 year anniversary. I've nearly been doing comedy for 20 years and I still can't believe me fucking look. And I'm not saying that to try and sound like humble or anything like that. because anyone who knows personally knows

I'm a right arrogant cunt but what I'm just I felt like that when we were onto it do you remember when we were onto it there was one of them I must be on my period of something I can't remember but I remember being on stage

and looking out and I didn't see it but I wanted to say what he's staying yet? Yeah yeah there's part of it I go are you fucking got no badity it's really odd but I think that comes from

quite a healthy a healthy dose of like of self disbelief of like what am I thinking here What's the word I'm like, what's not self-belief and there's self-doubt, there it is. It's not self-disbelief. I think everyone has a bit, unless you're raging narcissist.

Yeah. And you expect people to be there and you expect people to chant in your name and blah-de-brac-blah, blah, blah, then you're obviously going to have that. But I'm glad I'm in a nice time. I am. But listen. Can you? Enough about you when you're stupid, poxy to us. Poxy is a very upset.

Poxys a great word. A great word. A great word. But very, very upsetting. It's like last week when Kev called us a drip. Poxy and a drip Is that really It was just it

It was a really cutting word Very very Poxy has used a lot on LBC Really Yeah Because it's a swear Without a swaying it Very only fools and horse is that

Poxy Anyway it's time for this week's Lucrative A lucrative sponsor This week's sponsor is The genuine moments of fear While sitting eating In a city centre

Takeaway restaurant Of thinking it gets burgled Every five minutes Because a man walks in With a ball of clove on Oh, right. Deliveroo. Right.

It's fucking really unnerving. I'm not from a big city. Because we've got a big bag. The balaclavas or fucking bicycle, motorbike helmet. Like literally, I'm sitting in five guys and leads, right? And every couple of minutes,

someone comes in it and I just expect me to go, what am I in the fucking bag? And it's not. It's a delivery. It's just a deliverer. It's just a deliverer. Of course it is. Because they just come off their bikes.

But I obviously don't, do what I mean? The only five guys I go to at home is the one in the metro center. Or, you know, any any other places like Nando's and that. And it doesn't, obviously it's not a busy city. It doesn't happen as much. And I kept, I turn to carlo went, mate. I gave things.

Well, you're unnerved. Properly, properly unnerved. Like, every time they're coming. But obviously it's busy and people are just, must be mint, just like, we could never do that way we live. To just go on your phone and go, I'll have a five guys to live at my house.

Oh, almighty. Check you. Check your privilege. I've seen a video of a lass. For some reason, I've told you this before. My Instagram, my algorithms. It's probably because I watch them so much, right? I'll tell you why my algorithm's fucked in this.

second, I'll tell you that. Right, okay. I'll tell you after the intro. You'll tell me this, but I'm having the jingle, I mean. So I keep watching videos of single women living in city centres and it's like, what I do when I get him from work is a single 30-year-old woman. Right. And I just must, I don't think I realize, but I'm getting, oh.

What, like, year? Lusting. Right. I'm like, Lusting. And I'm like, oh, God, look at this. Oh, God. Nobody's, nobody's jumping on our tits. Oh, not an homosexual way.

Yeah, that's not me, by the way. I don't want to... Oh, the bouncy castle's home. She just comes in, has a bath, and then this one in NYC, New York City, ordered like sushi and it just looked amazing. She was like,

I'm so jealous of your life. But then, you know, on the flip side... Oh, yeah, there'll be a video in 30 years of a dying alone, look forward to that. Well, she would probably watch my life and say, you know, I'm envious of that. So everyone's... Absolutely fucking not, of your goodness.

You'll see how I'm morning? Absolutely no chance. Oh, God. We had to sit and watch a play this morning. We've put a play on with these Sonic toys. No, no, there is no chance a woman, there was no chance a single woman in New York City who was ordering sushi and having a bath is going to go,

I wish I was watching a five-year-old to do a sonic show. 10-by-7? 10-by-7 of the morning. I'm just glad I didn't have to be in the show. Although at one point the characters did break the fourth wall and told us to shut my mouth and then they came over and they actually physically shut my mouth. Oh, well, the penguin was through off me, so that's fun. After he blew his kisses.

God, what a roller coaster. Hell of a show. Raw, raw, raw. Honestly, Edinburgh Fringe, five stars. Great. Definitely watch that. We had a fight about the jingle. Jingle-Doo!

We couldn't settle on a jingle. Jing-go. So this is the jingle, Jing-Gong. We hope you like the jingle. Jingle! Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo-doo-ba-du-babadoo-da-ba-doo-ha. Jingle! Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of Shagged, married, annoying.

Hello, I'll tell you why I'm going to jump straight and I'll tell you why my algorithms fucked. Carl Hutchinson keeps sending me videos of manky people drunk in Benadome, right? I don't know if you can say manky people. No, they're monkey, they are, I'm not, I'll stand by it, they are, they're mingin. That's that's the point, right? And he keeps sending these videos. Right?

No, just the particular, but right, you say that. You see it's my career. At what point is someone going to get in touch and go, hi, monkey person in bedaderm here? I'm offended. They're going to go, even the monkey one's going, well, he's not talking about me. Yeah, you're not naming anyone.

No, but I'm not showing any photos or videos. I'm not, I'm just saying they're reprehensible. He sends his videos of these people. I mean, you know, with all a daff mad nights out, but he keeps sending them. And obviously, I watched them. And my algorithm's gone, oh, right, you like, uh,

you like drunken lunatics and, uh, and scantily dressed, uh, women, hammered, do you? Great. Oh, okay. I'm going to have to start, I'm going to have to go on a block and spray again. Yeah.

I had, I had to stop watching stuff about the Epstein files because it was just, it was too much. Oh yeah, you were one step away from the Earth's flat, the moon landed didn't happen and they were all lizards. You were one step away from them. Dip me toin it. Dip me tone it.

I did you dip you tone it? I did you dip your toe in it or did you just film yourself dipping your toe in it in a studio and claim that you dipped your toe in it? Oh, we'll never know, we'll never know. We'll never know. You know when you said that you watch videos of women seeing live alone and all that, I thought it was going to be, have you ever seen them once?

And I think people, we're at a point now, we're at a mental point with the internet and with views where people put on just absolute bollocks and deliberately wrong things to get views and clicks and engagement. And they'll go like,

it's rage beat. Right, yeah. But also, so there's ones that I see sometimes that go like, when I'm in a hotel on my own, when I'm staying in a hotel on my own, a flight attendant taught me to do this.

And it's just someone doing, like, really innocuous. Putting a chair up against the door. No, but I would understand that. But it's like, cellar tape across the door, then they draw on the cellar tape. Then they cut the cellar tape with a bit of knife. Then they put a hair on the floor.

And it's like, like, and follow for more. And I'm like, what the fuck was? What the fuck was that? But it's because it's money. People get money for these, for views. You get paid for views. What's your job? Or I confuse people professionally on the internet.

Well, I was watching loads of stuff. I love spot squeezing videos, right? Same. And recently, I've got down a little rabbit hole of watching a few. And you know, you know, years ago, you never used to see people's faces. Right. Because it was just like a bit of a bit and a close up.

But now, people are fully blown. Like, young girls and boys are like, watch me squeeze my spots. And you know, there's sometimes when I think, and don't get me wrong, I'm 40 this year, and we've been doing this for like close to 10 years or whatever. And there's times when I think, God, what the fuck have I said?

Right. Yeah, of course. You know, but at the same time, whatever, own it. I don't know if these people in 10, 20 years time are going to be like, why did I squeeze my spot on the internet? Do you know what I mean? I couldn't agree more, yeah. It's like porn.

It's like, in my opinion, are you going to look back and be like, why the fuck did I do? Why did I squeeze it? I mean, I'm watching them, but all I could think was. Definitely not, yeah, definitely, possibly the same ballpark as porn,

definitely not the same porn. Not as bad as porn at all, but at the same time. It's mad. I know you. I know your face. Where have I seen you? Yeah.

Oh, I pop my spots on Instagram. Really weird. I know. But then part of us thinks it's quite empowering because is it, is it ex-acny stuff? I would have made a fucking fortune if I could film myself doing that. But also, would you have felt better if you'd have seen people who had acne online? Would it have made your feet?

So there is that part where I go actually, that's quite a positive thing. But I just think that it's like, it's just like if you are just fart and not. online and then 20 years time you've got a family and a really good job I know but like you do it when you're young and stupid but it's online forever we didn't grow up in that generation I just think when these people are in their 40s and they've got a family and and and there's videos of them online squeezing the size 2020 in it it is it is and you know if you live in a mansion paid for by squeezing spots well fair enough they've got millions of views that's why they're doing it you're doing it because they know how many views it gets and some of them were shit I was like I've

watched this full thing waiting for this and you've fucking rage-baited this by peeling your little sticker off and there's nothing on any. Listen. Waste of my fucking time. Very important question for you here. Yes. You can only pick one, the other two get deleted forever.

You're going to, if this is earwax blackheads and spots, this is going to be very tricky. You can only pick four. Sorry, you can only pick one out of four. There's four of them that others get deleted forever. Right, go. Now you can keep two. Out of four, you can keep two. Okay, go.

Okay. Right. One, big pussy. Boils. Sists. Like cysts and boils. Perfect. Some of me favourite.

Blackheads. Also some of my favour. Especially around lips. Three. Awful. Face lips? Face lips? Oh my God.

If people are squeezing spots on their fanny lips, then they're going to really regret that. That's a huge. You can't see their face. Oh yeah. Okay. Right. One out stand, though. I recognize this fine.

Did you just have a lot of blackheads on this funny? E.AWax getting taken out. Okay, so what, cysts? Blackheads. Blackheads. E.Wax. In grown hairs. Oh, okay. I know. You can only pick. You already know. It's easy. Okay, you only pick one. All the other three get deleted forever. Blackhead. Oh, sis.

You've said it now. You've said it now. They've gone. Cists have gone. Blackheads. Just keep blackheads. Blackheads. Blackheads are my favorite. I really enjoy in grown hairs. Oh, I don't. I do. Well, so when they go out of big black hair, then they go, and it comes out with a fucking white a wall,

and you go, that would have been 25 foot long if that had grown. Oh, by the way, you know this, don't you? I don't know. You know this about, I've got that little chin here, that one little black chin here. Right. Well, you won't have ever seen it because I do get rid of it. Right.

When my eyesight starts to go, you need to tell me if you have better eyesight than me, if I've got that black hair. Okay. Okay. Do not let me walk around these streets with a little horrible monkey black hair poking out my chin. it's there.

Right? Promise? I'm going to have to tell the kids. No, because I keep on top of my mams. Okay, I get you. You know, because your eyesight does not keep as good. So if my mom's ever got like a blackhead or a hair, I'm like, Mom, let's get rid of this because my eyesight's all right.

This is well interesting. Okay, good. I've got that look for you. That's great. Don't let it, because it's just, it always grows. It always grows. And it's like spiky and black and it's just one hair. I hate it.

it so much. Can you not just get it whizzed off? How do you get it whizzed off? Or can you not just get it taken out? I'm sure you can. It's only one hair. Maybe. I don't know why.

Just not. I've got my... I'll do it with a drill. I'll do it with a drill. To be fair, though, that point that you said about the acne thing, I think I would have felt better if I'd seen those online

because I've told you about the time so all my... None of my friends had spots. None of them. Well, one or one did. One had quite bad acting. It seems to me, but nowhere near as bad as mine.

But most of them had like unbelievable skin and it was fucking infuriating. And one of them came around to my house once and he had a spot, one spot on his nose, just here on the side of his nose and he knocked on his finger and his thing like that. And I went, you're right? He went, oh, I've got a spot.

And I was literally standing there with a fucking face full. I went, are you for fucking real? How bad was it so bad? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you can see the scars. Yeah, it was really bad. Really, really bad. Yeah.

Character building, though. Definitely character building. Anyone out there who's got really bad acne and suffering from it, you know, there is more stuff that can be done now and if you're young, if you're in adolescence, it will go and if it stayed, there is

stuff that can be done, but honestly, just I feel your pain, I feel your pain, it was the worst. Well, I think it's shaped you to do what you're doing now though. I think I'll go to deflecting. Comedian, I've got very good of being a deflecting via comedy. Yeah. So, yeah.

Bravado. False bravado, yes. Look at, look at what a handsome young man you are now, though. I'm nearly four. Only getting better with age. Well, like a fine way. It's disgusting.

Right, bye. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babu, ba. Everybody, I've got an announcement. What's that? It's off work, yeah. I've got an announcement. You might see it on Instagram. I am filming a brand new stand-up special of this tour that I'm currently on.

Tickets are on sale now. There's two shows in the Soho Theatre in Waltham Store in London, 7pm, and 9.30pm on the 22nd of April tickets on your website. Yeah. Really love this tour. really enjoying it, just absolute no brain out to get it in the can. I can't wait to say it. You still haven't seen the show yet. I'm a little bit worried.

I'm a little bit worried. How badly do you? What the fuck are you? No, not you. The stuff I say about you, is fine. I'd say it to your face. But some stuff. Because we're a brand, you know?

Yeah, we're a brand now. Some stuff, I've got a funny feeling you're going to be like, what the fuck are you saying that for? Really? Yeah, yeah. I didn't check any of it were you? Well, listen, I've said it before and I'll say it again. Do not judge us together.

Completely judge us separately. Because if you sing, I'm not going down with you. Okay. Right? Although if you do, that means I can start ringing in LBC. Yeah, that's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to watch the word, babe!

Right, yes. So people, if you want to see him, get tickets and it's being filmed and lovely jumpy. There it is. Right. Do you know about a game that the kids play at the beach? No. Right. We took the kids down on the beach the other night because there was a glimmer of sunshine.

and we went and got fishing chips from Coleman's gorgeous and then we took them on the sand. Rave went in the water because he's nuts. It was freezing cold. Had to get him changed in the back of the car. Had to get him changed in the back of the car back into his world boot costume. So it was all just a bit ridiculous, right?

Literally it was ridiculous. Anyway, they were sat there and I went with my mom and they went, oh, come and play a Jeremy. I was like, I went, what do you mean? And my mom just kind of went, oh. And she laughed under her breath. And I was like, sorry, what? What the hell?

Because obviously my mom's been taking the lads. I had Abel, my nephew as well. Yeah, yeah. She's been taking the beach for years, right? Whenever we're working, she's got them, and they're at the beach in the summer. So, Jeremy, so basically what they do, they fill their socks up with sand, right?

So they're, like, really heavy. Yeah. They basically hoi them round, and then they trip each other over with these, with these, like, what's it called when something's on a long, Like, what's that called? Not a guillotine, what's it called, man. I can't remember what it's called, but I know what you mean.

So there's loads of sand in the bottom, so it's really heavy, really hard. Yeah. Like, a rock. Very much like in gangster movies where they put pool pools in a song. At one point, Rob and mine come up with stones in and my mom laughed and went, no. I thought, oh, not this time, because I'm here.

It's like a prison thing. Yeah. Yeah. So basically, they just go around and they whack them off the bottom of their knees to trip each other over. they were laughing their heads off. Why the fucks are called Jeremy?

No idea. That I do not understand. I said, why is it called Jeremy? And this is so weird, right? I said, why is it called Jeremy? My man went, no idea. Robin named it Jeremy. What did I call?

What did I want to call my kid when I was younger? And any boy, dollar I had. I called a Jeremy. And Imelda and Jeremy. I was going to call me kids. You know, when you're young and you go, if I have children, they were Amelda and Jess. I'd love to meet a baby.

Mel and jazz. I'd love to look in the eyes of a baby called Jeremy. Honestly, Mel and Jess. So when my mom said, Robin, you know when you go, ooh, that's weird. Yeah. And you go, oh, kindred spirits, me and Robin. That's all me.

Anyway. Kindred spirits. What did I say? Kindred spirits, which means you both just like chocolate. Is it kindred? Kindred spirits. Oh, God, I've been saying kindred spirits. You've been saying kinded spirits?

Like, like, kind of surprise. Oh, that's embarrassing. Oh, God. Lock me up. Lock me in this house. So obviously I have been on tour with Carl Hutchinson, friend of the podcast and he's been on Please Keep Me Anonymous as well

and one of my best friends in the world but as I think everyone knows genuinely one of the oddest, one of the nicest but one of the oddest men I've ever met in my life. You're paying him in a terrible light. He's a lovely guy. He's an absolutely, he's a fantastic father,

he's a brilliant friend, he's one of my best mates in the entire world. Right, right? But the man is an enigma and he is one of the weirdest people I've ever met. And now and then he just does something or says something and I go, can't tell Rosie that?

Can I say out of the podcast? And he goes, yeah, fine. And I'll just write it down. How are you then? A couple of things I can't, which I had to tell you this morning, which I think, or was it yesterday, which I think you'd agree was absolutely awful. The bath thing. Oh, yeah.

Can't sit down here. I've been told not to say on you here, but trust us, awful. So, he has gone from, this is why he's a hypocrite, right? Total hypocrite. I love hypocrite. Yeah, yeah, I'm a hypocrite. But he's really, really bad. Yeah.

So he slags off umbrellas constantly. He says you shouldn't use an umbrella. Men who use umbrellas are pathetic. Just get wet. Just get wet because you're taking up all the space on the pavement with your umbrella. That's his idea. He got in the van the other day. He went, hey, look, I've rented an umbrella from the hotel.

I went, you hate umbrellas? You hate people who use umbrellas? He went, oh yeah, but I'm a hypocrite. I went, fine. Great. Just absolutely guarantee. Okay. But he doesn't hate him using an umbrella.

That's a difference. No, no, that's the thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, huge hypocrite. So he also is, like, ridiculously picky about certain foods and things like that. And if someone, like in the past, I think I said it before, in the past, he was coming to me house once and he said, oh, I'll go past the delicatessen and I'll get some really nice ham. But the person who works there touched the ham and he stormed out because they touched it.

However, the other night, he dropped in the van that we're traveling. He dropped a coronation chicken sandwich. It slid off the table. It landed on the van floor, open. Stop! No! I swear to God, open, face down. He picked it up, put it back together.

No. Oh, I ate it. This is the man who won't eat the Gregs if it's touched. Yeah. He closed the Coronation Chicken Sandwich and he ate it. And I went, I can't even watch. I went because I'm waiting for it like, pull a fucking big hair out of your mouth. It made us want to be sick.

But he was like, oh, it's fine. It's fine. No, I couldn't have ate that. Well, he's like, I've got kids now. I'm not bothered. Like, he eats his food. It used to have, everything had to be piping hot, but now he eats stuff cold. And that he's a change, man.

It's unbelievable. Well, yeah, it does change you having kids. So that's just, yeah, that's your appetizer. Okay, great. This is the next bit. I've got... Gets worse than the open coronation car chicken. I've got two more bits, right? So I love pizza more than anything in the world.

Yes, I know. He managed... Not the... Not... Oh, you've been watching the Epstein thing. Yeah. Actual pizza. Actual pizza.

Cheese, tomato... I'm talking about a dough base with tomato and cheese on. It's not code for anything. But again, if anything comes out in years to come about Chris, just know that I've got nothing to do with... Wow. I'm covering me on back. You know what?

I respect it. Thank you. Fair enough. Got a root cute over here. Fucking hell. Right. So. Love you but I don't trust anyone.

Thank you. I mean you say that often. It's nice to hear. Don't trust anyone. So Carl. I even knew. Point to the listeners. So Carl ruined pizza for me the other night because we had,

we got some pizza and we talked about the hotel and we had some garlic dip. Lovely. The lid of the garlic sauce thing had garlic on. Where's it from? Papa John's. Right. And what he was doing was, what? It's like a buttery garlic from there.

No, no. The got the special garlic sauce is a buttery or the garlic thing, but there's another one to do a garlic and her one, which is nice. The other one's just some buttery shit. Love Potter Johns. He, every single time he did this, he would get the lid, and he was putting the lid on top of the garlic thing, and he was doing that. By that, you've tipped it up and down. I was turned upside down, so imagine the lid's now covering garlic again, right? And he was holding it above the pizza slice, and he was, wiping it on the pizza slice

to get it all on. Right. But as he's, and he did this on his Instagram, and I wasn't aware until he showed us it, so people who know are call her away of this, but as he's doing it, he says, out loud, over and over again, this is the bum, I'm wiping the bum. And I had to say, can you please stop that? You're ruining me meal.

Do you think he's got OCD? I don't know what's wrong with him. Because, right, I think he, this is going to get serious. I think he masks his, like, compulsions. I've said this before. Because he laughs about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But actually, he still has to do it. But if he knows it's upsetting. If I'm laughing, he loves it. And if it's upsetting us, he loves it even more. That's what I mean. Yeah. So I had to order, one more, I had to order his breakfast on the morning.

This is the bum and white than the bum. This is the bum. But apparently he does it with curry. So the one on his Instagram is disgusting. So he put the video on. He said, does anyone else do this? And it was some curry left on a plate, some sauce.

And he got the nan bread. He went, this is the bum and white with the bum and wiped him. And all the comments are, just you, mate. It's about 50 comments. No, it's just you, mate. No one does that. It's just you, mate. Nobody says this is the bum.

I'm wiping the bum. Ill. The next morning, two of the man, I'll sound to go perfectly. The next morning, Carl was late at breakfast, and he texted his order,

and I had to ask for his order, and it was like, can I get a full English? Beans instead of tomato, black pudding, and kind of get the bacon and the sausage really well done. And the lady was like, what? And I had to say it a couple of times.

And then she left, and I went, oh, God. And the show match I went, yeah, it's exhausting being Carl, isn't it? He makes it look easy, but it's exhausting, isn't it? Yeah, it's fucking exhausting. Now, this is the main one I want you to do here. This is the main one. Right.

So I've got a bit in my show. I don't want to give away anything in the show, but I know when you've seen it'll know. I know I'm wrong, but I've got this bit of me show about fantasising and about beating someone up, right? It's a routine in my show. Don't ask any questions. You'll see when you see the show. You'll see it when you see it. I'm going to have note.

It's just a bit. I'm going to have note. Okay. It's just a bit, right? it's a joke. I know I'm very much wrong and I'm in the butt of the joke, right? So it's this bit about like a fantasy of beating someone up. I'm worried. And then we were walking back, you'll be worried when you hear this. We were walking back through Birmingham Town Centre,

the city centre the other night and it was a bit rough and there was people like pissing in the street at the certain point. Everyone's out having a nice thing. And it was just you walk past people and some people are a bit drunk and a bit leery in the look at you and you're getting, when you're sober, you're like, oh God. And we got back to the hotel and Colin, I've ever told you about my fantasy thing, like

a bit in your show? I went, what is it. He went, in my fantasy, I'm walking down a busy street at night like we just have, and someone attacks us, a bloke starts a fight with us. He wasn't in the fantasy, I beat the bloke up, and I like knock him out, and he's on the deck, and then while he's knocked out, as a punishment for starting on us, I take his pants off, and I take his under pants off, and I put them in a bin, so that when he comes to, he's got to stand with his cock and bonies. He's got to stand with his cock and bollocks out and look for his pants in a bed. And that's his fantasy.

Thinks about it all the time. Things about it all the time. Beat him up. Beg him in the bin so that he has to stand shamefully cock and bollocks out getting his pants out of a bed. That's so weird.

God love him, but he's lovely. It's a fucking sweet man. Listen, listen. Do you have dreams? What the fuck? Do I have dreams? Ever? So, I'm very aware

that most days, and on this podcast, I tell you about my dreams. You never tell me about your dreams. Oh, because, and I think I've said this before. So I thought last week I was like, I'm going to ask Chris if he actually has any dreams.

I have dreams. I didn't know if you meant in life or do I dreams. Like, aspirations, not in your sleep. Right. You never tell me about your dreams. Who are you shagging in your dreams? Everyone. Everyone.

Everyone. But you. No, but like, does stuff not happen though? Like, have I not said before. Please, so please don't do this

a wrong way. Please don't stop telling us about your dreams. But I find people... No, you hate people telling you about your dreams. Yeah, but I'm allowed to tell you about the dreams.

Yeah, you are, you're fine, but I just, I find people telling people about the dreams to be the most, it's the most inane, boring shit in the world.

It's pretty base level. It's like, oh, I had this dream, right? But it's like... But it's actually, if you look at bigger picture, it's actually really interesting what happens when you dream.

It is. I know you're saying like, I had this dream. But if that's when people really like big up their dreams and you're like, no, you fucked it. But it's like when someone goes, you know, oh, this mad thing happened. This mad thing happened. We're on mushrooms, right? I go, well, I'm not listening anymore. Because of course a mad thing happened.

You're on mushrooms. I'd love to try mushrooms. But saying, yeah, but saying like, oh, I had this dream right? And then start telling us a mad story. What all you're saying is, do you want to hear a story I've made up? Yeah. No? Yeah.

No, I don't. I just, I find it. find it. So you do dream? Yeah, I have dreams now and then. They're mostly horrible. I'm mostly wake up crying and roll over and move out of sleep. I'll be honest with you. I don't want to hear about them. I'm not going to tell you about them, but on a scale, a ratio of nightmares to dreams, I think I have 90% nightmares and 10% dreams. Okay. Mine are usually horrible. Mine wake me up in the night. Mine are awful. Yeah. Awful. All right. Well, good. No, I'm glad that you do dream. I just didn't know. Right. I feel like after, you know, being together,

I'm nearly 13 year. I feel like I should just know if you dream are not. No, well, then I've said, I had a dream about such and such last night. I've said it's offhand. I don't, you get, fucking you paint as a full picture. Because sometimes I, sometimes I remember them so much like I was just there. But then you start to, you forget them, don't you? That's why some people wake up and write them down. Yeah, my Kate used to.

Ugh, God. You know, it's boring as far. Spooky, ducky, man. Bored. Not when the stuff started coming true. That wasn't boring. That was very interesting. Right, okay.

Should go back in a bit, oh, no, no, I'm not. Oh, for God's sake. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babo, ba. It's time for what you. What's your beef? Nice and quick one because we've blathered on for ages and we can't we can't be long today because we've got to go get the train

to London because you are selfishly on tour. Very selfishly. Should I go first or do you want to? Well I'll be honest with you. You have been, I've been away. You've been at home. Having a lovely time by the looks of it. All right. So I'll tell you, I'll do a very slight

beef actually before I do me real one. A very slight beef is our putting photos on a little tour done because I'm terrible on Instagram and I do take some photos and I try and put some stuff on. So I put a little updates on it. I'll be honest with you mainly

it's to see the comments on anything that people say, oh, I was at the Birmingham show. It's really nice to hear from people who enjoyed the show. If you didn't enjoy it, don't write anything. So I put them on and I was like, you know, I went and played golf

and I had a couple of beers and stuff. And you seem to have an army of dickheads online who are just like, oh, commenting. Oh, Rosie's going to be fuming about it. I'm at fucking work, you pricks. I'm at work Oh, just squeezing a little round of golfing at work

What you want? Did you sit there's only so many times I can wank in a hotel, Rosie I have to go play golf at some point Have you been wanking loads Oh, morning or night Have you? Non-stop

I'll be blind next month To a day? I'm joking At least No, no, okay, fair enough Yeah, but I do have a beef with you It's a reverse beef Reverse beef, right?

But I'm going to deliver it like a beef I was really looking forward to doing all of my washing when I got in yesterday from Tua but you you did all me washing for us you fucking bitch I don't have a beef a real beef you've been at home

holding fort and incredibly yesterday I put a dirty washing bag in in the utility room and I went through to do it and you were like oh I've done it And I was like, I set a call on the phone at the day. I thought I was getting put down. That fast wash, man.

26 minutes. Oh, they've been fast washed. 20. Oh, God, I'm laughing. I'll redo them after this. 15 minutes spin. It's just a change of a life. Yeah.

Beautiful. You're welcome. And the dehumidifier makes everything dry. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. No, you're welcome. You're working hard. It's fine.

I'm having a nice time just being ma'am for a bit. Nice. And something might come up work-wise, but nothing like. We're still doing this. We're doing this every week as well. I know. I know. I'm off to London to do.

please keep me anonymous after this. I'm just enjoying me. But, Pilates, the news, walking, all that kind of stuff. It's really nice. All your dreams.

All your dreams. Drinking early. Yeah. I do have a beef with you though, right? You know that stealing and breaking the law makes me really anxious.

Yes. I don't like people. Like, I don't like rule breakers. I don't know what, it just bugs us. Yeah. I just don't,

you know when they're like, I fuck, I fuck. who's going to stop me? I do what I'll park on the double yellow I just think why why? Yeah, yeah, you do. You've got a real problem with that, haven't you?

Yeah. Well, it's just like, do you know what it is? We'll just be, I'll tell you what, then we'll just become a fucking lawless wasteland. Like, you know what I mean? What's the, what? Like, just fucking. So you're, in your head, you're going straight from people

parking the double yellows to it's mad max. Sort of. Because there's got to be some rules. There has to just be some rules to be all right. Like, I've not, you know what I mean? Anyway, just bugs us. And this is one of them things.

that bugs is and you've told us about it and I don't like that I'm married to someone who does this I can't think of the life of what this is. You are stealing towels from hotels and taking the next hotel and because the franchise of the same hotel

you think that it's okay and I'm telling you right now it's not because they're completely separate they are different hotels at other ends of the country they'll have their own stock take of towels they're not going to ring and go Oh, did anyone bring any towels from Stoke yesterday? Oh, yes, yes, that was Mr. Ramsey.

He borrowed a towel to wash his ass crack after he'd been to Jiu-Soo, and he said he was going to bring it down here. Yes, uh-huh. Yes, no, drop it off at the Leeds. He's dropping it off at Leeds. What's wrong were you? Stop stealing towels. They're not yours.

Take one with you from home. First of all, you'd never be a tour manager, because I'm not staying in Stoke, then Leeds the next night. That's terrible room. Great. Well, there were two places. as I could think of. Listen,

I firmly don't think there's anything wrong with this so they're all in the same chain and sometimes... They're not going to own by completely different people? If I have to go somewhere during the day like I went and played golf for your day

and then I knew like after golf I'd need a bit of a wash. So I liberated a hand towel from one... He stole! Liberated you. Oh, you should be a politician. I'm borrowed.

I took a hand towel on a little day out for its mental health. Right? It's been... cooked up in that comment all day. Did go out, got some vitamin D. Yeah.

Wash myself in the, in the, because venues don't fucking, venues don't provide towels, man. And if they do, it's like, oh God, which, you know, which rock cover band have used this. And then I took it to, yeah, exactly the same hotel chain. Exactly the same hotel chain in the next place,

left it and then took that one from there to the next hotel chain. I don't bring one home. They leave them there. The final one on the route gets left with two. I've been doing this for years. I think it's probably evened out. The one I've took it from,

I bet you that one's had one dropped out before. Drop, man. I swear to God, it upsets us. Would you rather I brought them home? What, the hotel towels? No, I'd rather, no, I'm glad you're giving them back. Right. I don't want hotel towels.

I don't mind using them when on there, but I don't want a towel that everyone's fucking wipe their Gucci on. Right. No, thank you. I do take just the Gucci towel. Just the Gucci. Just the Gucci. We used to get towels on our tour,

but was that because it was a bigger tour? That's because it was an arena tour I think it was a towel budget in there Yeah I did see one of them actually Did you? Oh you've still got it Yeah see

Fucking hit by Chris Oh yeah you did Babadoo Babadoo Babadu Babadu Babadu ba Babadu babadu babadu babadu babadu bad It's time for questions from the public Questions from the public And they ask questions And they tell us about their lives

And we say oh Thank you We would be nothing without you Oh yeah We owe it all to you You're the listeners And you got our hearts We owe it all to you

What? I didn't like it at first I didn't like it at first You're fucking irritatingly talented That's well annoying I was really annoyingly out of tune With these headphones in I'm like

Yeah I take the applause back As always guys If you'd like to touch It's shagmagnonautitgggggymil.com If you'd like to send a voice note The number is on the podcast app But I am going to read it here

It's 0786 7440-60-6-50. Well done. So, Daisy, our wonderful Daisy, sent me these voice notes last night, and I forgot. Great. So I haven't actually pre-listened to this,

but she said that this one's very funny. Okay. And I trust her implicitly. So here we go. So I normally listen to these and know what they're going to say, but I do not know what this one's going to say. Great. So if this gets were cancelled,

Daisy is to play. Someone else's voice note can't get were cancelled, surely. Surely it'll be something we say about it. Surely, please. Come on, I mean the world's gone mad. I don't know. She's got you recorded in the van. Right, ready? Hey, guys. I'm not sure if this is an ick or might even be a Rosie's mysteries or I don't really know. But I just wanted to share.

Me and my boyfriend were at home on our own. We were cooking dinner. And he says to me, I've got surprised for you. I was like, okay, brilliant. He left the room. I just kept cooking. he comes back in and I'd recently come out to him as bisexual at this point and he might think that's irrelevant. It's relevant because what his surprise was was a rainbow ribbon tied around his flaccid penis. He had left the room fully clothed, about two minutes later,

re-entered the room stark naked whilst I was still cooking me past a bake and had wrapped a rainbow striper ribbon around his flaccid dick. For pride. So that was lovely. What? He's an ally. He's an ally.

Oh hey, you love this. Look here. He has loved this, didn't you look? Hey, hey, you're welcome. I tell you what. That's brilliant. You want to just stay, if you want to stay bisexual,

you better get that ribbon off your flaccid dick. I'll tell you, yeah. Because there's nothing that would send me more gay faster than that. I'd be like, Oh, I'm picking a side actually And it's not yours That's gross

Bold as fuck I hate Flatsy So he's just I mean in a way In a way Is it a bit sweet I think he's trying to say like I'm cool

I'm all right with this Yeah I'm an ally LGBTQ and all that Yeah And look at Look at There it is

Pride It's the Pride penis No but is he trying to say Like It's a bit pick me Really do you think I don't know It's a bit like

Why do you have to put around his dick could you not have wore like a bracelet or something that's such a man thing to do isn't it yeah it's such a yeah no i've just checking i know i like pride but you still like dick though yeah you still like dick you know he bad but still like dick pride dick pride dick pride penis eh yeah no i find i actually find it vile masculine and vile and awful okay to be like he's gone the wrong way you think you think he's you think he's really gone tone deaf and misfired here yeah okay do you not think maybe i think that now is a 40 year old woman i don't know oh god i'm around 40 yeah you're not 40 but you know we know we know you love to round up you've been calling yourself 40 for three years

yeah it must be it must be odd must be odd to go like oh I don't know how to how to deal with it I don't know I think he's tried his best to look really positive about it but why round his dick because round his dick means like don't suck it I mean it's just making pastor as well I know that I know you like girls as well but it is it goes back to that it's the thing suck me dick I support you but still suck me dick take the ribbon off though I mean I mean Would you have ever tied anything around your flaccid penis for a girl? No.

No. I don't think I ever fully saw a full penis until I was about, I'd like fully like in the flesh like 17 and 18. Yeah. Watchers Bay. I just think it was always dark.

Right, okay. I think it was dark. I know what you mean. Do you know what I mean? Hansy and dark. I don't think it was like. Hansi and talk. No, but it wasn't.

And it wasn't, I don't think I remember. When are you released in your book? The Rosy Ramsey Guy to Sex. Hansy and Dark. It's the Rosy Rumsy Guy to Sex. Hansy and dark. I think if I'm going to write a book about life and that,

it has to be called Hansy and Dark. Hansy and Dark. Yeah. Unbelievable. The tales of Hansy and Dark. Yeah, anyway. The kid's book, Hansy and Dark, two characters. Nah, wouldn't work.

No. We could do it. Like Robin had his big talk the other day, didn't he? Did I tell you what he said? No. He came home and he went, Mom, he went, we've had the big talk today. And he went, I'm going through puberty. I went, oh, yeah.

Oh, I'm not. Yeah, I'm going through puberty I was like, okay sonna, I'm here for you You're big feelings, it's all good Oh bless him Because they said you get spot Because he's got like, he's got a couple of little spots On his leg

And I think this person said you'll start getting spot And he's like, mom There it is That's it, there is God, I hope he doesn't get them like I did Oh my God Well, who knows Well, I didn't have them when I was younger

So hopefully we'll dial up them We'll see He's already got your shitty personality it's what he doesn't get your acne and all. Wow. She's lashing out because I'll be in a way

having a nice time. She's lashing out. That's all that is. Comedy. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. This is the first kind of statement here. It's not really a question. It's just a bit more of a statement.

It says, come on guys. I can't believe you missed the opportunity to quote, what's new pussycat when telling the story of the boy who was obsessed with Tom Jones and tigers. Right. I'm ashamed of work.

Why didn't we come up with that? Oh, because I've got a thousand million fucking things. Bloody crime-time comedian. Right, but I've got loads of things going through me head at the time when you're reading these things. I don't know. I'm trying to take the story in. Sometimes, sometimes I apologise. Well, that would have been good.

Great. That was their only email. Yeah. And you've read it out. Yeah. Great. Hello, Chris and Rosie. Fucking heckled through the emails.

Christ. Hello, Chris and Rosie. Just a quick workplace ick for you. Yes. I work in the video game industry. Hey. Ooh, you would have loved that one, yeah. Oh, talking about video games.

I'm having a fucking nightmare with my heck. Xbox. Oh my God. Heavens above. Anyone out there, right, I've got an Xbox Series X. You used to have a PlayStation 5 because Robin stole it,

although he did say I'd borrow it, to take it on tour, which was a bit offended by him. You gave it to him? I gave it to him and I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll go online, and all his friends, I'll be like, well then, I try to join them

and I'll be like, no, it's his dad, to piss off. Anyway, I've got an Xbox Series X, and certain times, it just doesn't turn on at all, when plugged in in hotels. But you googled it, and you worked out that it's dirty wires. It's something, dirty, power.

Something to do with the hotel. I don't know. The hotel power might not be enough. I don't know. Well, my mate says it because very boring

and says they're on three phase or something. I don't know, but it only doesn't work, Rosie. And I know I've on two out and I'm having a lovely time and I'm very lucky in my job.

I mean, I know everyone, what everyone's hearing now is you are spitting your dummy out because your computer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I am.

I am. Because the only times it doesn't work twice last week it didn't work. It was when I had a two hour gap in the hotel before going to the venue for me sound check.

Turn it on, no noise, nothing. Do you know what never breaks? What? A book. Ah! My dad gave us a book the other day. Do you know, he'd left the house? He'd left the house and he'd gone into the car.

Then he came back and he was like, and I was like, oh, I must have forgot something. And he just found a book in his car and he went, I think you'd like this. Screet, and he? I was like, what the fuck is. I love him. And I'm like, I don't know if I would,

but I haven't started it yet so do you know what it is actually Sorry is that the Broadway one Yeah what is it It's by the side of your bed Yeah It's just it looks like a charity shop find It's fucked

I don't know what that is Yeah I'll read it because I do My dad I do trust his opinion You won't I will You won't

Dad I might There we go We've gone from I will to our might In two things No I might I guarantee you won't read that book I guarantee you won't read that book

I could I can if I want I've gone from We've gone from my will No I might It's at me bed I might I just can't stick with books

I started one the other day the other week and I really got into it and then I just get bored You know what you need an Xbox Right carry on Listen

This person's working in the video game industry Brilliant Naturally that comes with the younger generation And their unique use of language Okay A certain set of individuals Have started to reply To other members of staff

And themselves With King At the end of their sentence And I cannot describe How much I want to crawl under my desk And not have to read it every time And they've given an example. So thanks King or looks good to me, King.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not all right with that. Not in the video game. I understand when rappers say it to each other. Do they? I don't, I've never met anyone who says King. Well, I think the first couple of times I saw it, I think it's, I think Jamie Fox will do it a lot.

Like Jamie Fox, if he's big as well, I'm sure I recently was called a Michael B. Jordan King. It's like, you shine King and all that. And I'm like, okay, that's a, you know, it's a, it's a massive movie star. and a massive guy going, yeah, and I get it. Yeah. Emailing it to each other after you've just tested the latest fucking beta version of your game. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Nice bug fix, King. But sometimes this used to give me the ick, but now a lot of people do it. I think it's become a thing. You say, sir. Sir? Uh-huh. What do you mean? You sometimes say sir to people.

Like... Oh, thank you, sir. Like, yeah, like taxi drivers and people. Sometimes I will, yeah. Sir, sometimes, yeah. At first, it, I was like, it was like when your dad used to say a church. she has made to the bus driver and I'd go he's not your mate why did you say me it would kill us it actually kill us and it did it first but now I've heard a lot of

people say it I think it's become like a thanks brother like that's another one isn't it the do they just they come in you get annoyed about it first and they're coming give it 10 years I'm sure that's called hegemony but I think I've made that up like gessemone no like when something becomes like at first it's like abrasive but then it becomes part of the part of the thing yeah well just part of part of the status quo whatever that might happen to be I remember we did it in I'm going to mention Holyokes again, I can't believe it.

We did it in, we did it in media studies. Yeah, we did it media studies. Can you remember Warren? When Warren came into Holyoke's and he was the guy who won the nightclub and he was a bit of a guy, yeah. And then I remember I stopped watching Hollywood.

I stopped watching for ages and then I switched on again years later and he was just like a main character and he was normal. That, I think that's called, I think, hegemia, I don't know, it's like just at first abrasive and then just swallowed into the sea.

It's called part of the furniture. Right. So, I think that's one after them things. I might be wrong. I might be wrong. Five years time. Mm-hmm.

You know. Listen. You're going to be calling. Let's do it now, King. You're going to be, the Postman comes to drop something off. Hey. Thanks, King.

I'll already call him a Postman. He's a Brazilian jistu purple bell at my postman. I'll call him a king. Any day of the week. Yeah. We've got a few of them actually. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. Hi, Rosie and Chris.

Hope you well. No need to keep me anonymous. I'm also called Rosie in brackets, it's Rosemary. And I've made up someone else under the age of 40. has my name. Just.

Just under 40. Wouldn't have if there's any more of those? I think there is rosemary's. No, no, I think you two are the only two in the country. Well, once upon a time, there was only one, I was the only rosy winter. Right. Till I married you.

Okay. Sorry about that. Apparently. I think. Was there like seven? I can't remember. Oh my God, I don't care. Oh, God, okay.

Just listening to the episode where you talk about the girl who offered mints on the flight. Brilliant. Love her. I got an embarrassing memory of something that happened to me on a flight in 2012, age 20. Something that randomly pops into my brain and sparks the same level of embarrassment as it did all those years ago. I was travelling to Australia the first time I'd ever flown alone. Wow, that's a hell of a want to do for the first time.

I know, I know. I know. I'm generally quite the insomniac, especially on transport. Transpired. So it came as no surprise that I didn't sleep a wink during my journey. I'd completed flight one, Manchester to Dubai, with no hiccups, and I was on the final leg, Dubai to Brisbane. Midway through, and after about 28 hours without sleep at this point,

I decided to get up and use the loom. The nearest one was behind, so I started to walk along the aisle. Due to my sleep-deprived state, I found myself losing balance and falling. Naturally, I put my hand out to stop myself. The good news, I managed to stop myself from falling over. The bad news. The face of a middle-aged businessman broke. my fall while he was asleep.

Oh no! Oh, I'd fucking hate that so much. I literally, I knew you would. I knew you would. Do you know my first question would be? If she did that and she woke us up and she put her face on her hand on your face, I would go, were you on your way to the toilet

on the way back and have you washed your hands? Because you've just put your fucking fingers in my mouth loa and I'm upset. See, this is the thing. I don't know if people realise this, but when I get the questions, right? I get the ones that I know are going to trigger you. Yeah. So some people might listen to that and be like, well,

this would ruin your whole week. Whack, just full hand. I wouldn't, I don't think I'd have recovered from that. I'd hate her. She'd be like, I'm so sorry. And I'd be like,

I'd do that thing where I probably wouldn't even say it's all right. I would just be like, okay. Oh no. You know, come on, you know, the slight noise wakes me up in the house and I'm like,

what the fuck's going on? I know. I'd be, no one's made if someone did that to me. Oh my God But yeah I literally palmed him in the face I was mortified

And he had the shock of his life Of course he did So yeah She didn't look back And she avoided him at the baggage claim So there you go Oh High five

It's horrible in it We're all people at the end of the day It's when you're on flights And stuff like that When you're in situations Where everyone's having to be the same It makes you go We're all just people

We're all just living in this world trying to get on and that's it. Can't be mad. I'd be so upset. I'd be so upset. Do you know what's worse as well? If that was one of them ones where he's in a bed, a chair that goes fully flat,

that's like business class and it goes fully flat. No, I think he was just lay on his seat. So he was sitting up on his seat so it's just a full bang on his face. Is that worse than lying flat? I don't think that's as bad as lying flat because I don't think she'll have got the full force on him. So she's stumbled forward

and she's just fucking gone, bang. You'd shit yourself. You would shit yourself. I'd be devastated. I'd cry. I'd probably cry. She'd go the toilet and I'd sit there and weep and everyone would go, look at him crying. Look at that man crying. You shouldn't leave the house, Chris. You shouldn't leave the house. Oh, horrible. And you know what? It takes me fucking ages to get a stick on the plane. I'd literally be like, well, I'm not getting back to sleep now.

I'll be... By the way, everyone, Chris is in full... This is probably the worst time to tell you this story because you are in full two M. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where sleep's very important. No, not just that. I really love recent call. And obviously, I love you.

I married you, but he's our three very opinionated old men. Yeah. And when you're, I can tell, I know you've been there. I know you've been there. We're sitting in the van and we're just to say something. We're all like, yeah, yeah, yeah. We all just think we're right. Yeah.

And then you come home and I just, I know, what did you say? You said something yesterday. You just said something and you just kept, you kept picking, ah, God, that should be me beef. You walk around when you came in. yesterday and just pointed out, load the stuff that was wrong in the house. Yeah.

Yeah? I'll keep you right. I'll push you down the stairs, actually, if you keep doing it. Wow. And I've said it here, so you'll know who's done it. Yeah, so the evidence is here. Maybe. So when I've fallen down the stairs, you know who's done it.

No, what was it? You kept pointing stuff out. You were like, why is this here? What's this doing here? Mm-hmm. Why, what? Yeah, stop that. Okay.

That's infuriating. Never. Oh, I'll leave you. Take all your shit with you as well. It was all over the fucking floor. Contua forever Conto her forever Watch me

Looking Watch me Good luck Babadoo babadoo babadoo babadu Ba Do do Thank you so much for listening And watching this week's episode

of Shagmurgino We're bloody love you guys We do thank you so much And as always If you want to get in touch It's Shagd Maridnoid at gmail.com And the number to send a voice known is 078874

4-60 Please keep them coming in We absolutely love them Cheers Back in years Next week Bye Bye.