Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Please Keep Me Anonymous With Ania Magliano

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

On this week's podcast Chris and Rosie are joined by comedian, podcaster and Taskmaster star, Ania Magliano! Ania does some couple's counselling with the pair and reveals why her and her partner called it quits on their couple's podcast. They also discuss facial hair and Ania's new Tour 'Peach Fuzz'. All of this plus a brilliant 'Please Keep me Anonymous' AND Chris learns how one particular swear word has been given a glow up! To book tickets for Ania's tour visit aniamagliano.com To get one of your weird and wonderful stories read out by a guest email [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started. Coming up on this week's episode of Please Keep Me Anonymous, we chat to Anya Magliano. Yes, we had a very, very lovely chat with Anya. She's a very, very funny comedian. She's just been on Taskmaster. She actually used to do her own podcast with her fella. Yeah.

And you'll find out why they can't do that anymore. Maybe that's where future. You'll never know. It was like chatting with her future. She is going on tour with her tour. It's called Peach Fos. It starts in February next year. And she's also at this Soho Theatre from Monday the 23rd of February till Saturday,

7th of March and you can get tickets for that on ania magliano.com she was really funny and I really liked her really really funny and she taught me and we actually prank you

with this during the during the conversation but she taught me that a very particular very very rude swear word has actually took on a new meaning and I learned it just beforehand and can remember

we'll play it along and we got you in your face oh your face well done guys prank that got a smash the subscribe button for more pranks and likes and yeah smash subscribe

though So there we go. Yeah, thanks. Enjoy. We had a fight about the jingle. We couldn't settle on a jingle. Jingle-Ding-Gong. So this is the jingle, Jingle, Jingle.

We hope you like the jingle. Jingle, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, do, babadoo-do-ba-do-ba-doo-ha. Jingle! Hello, you're listening to Shagmuridnaud. Please keep me, Anonymous, with me, Rosie Ramsey, and my husband, Christopher Ramsey. Hello, yes. you went to touch my arm and you touched the mum. Touch the mic.

I don't know what that happened, but here we are. What a great start. And we are joined on this week's episode by Fantastic. Anya Magliano. Hello. Thank you for having me.

You're so welcome. It's really nice to meet you. It's nice to meet you guys too. We've never met. We haven't met, but I think this is the modern way to meet, isn't it? This is it. This is it.

And we'll never meet again after this. No, we might. We might. We share a manager. Oh, we do. We do. So we will meet. I feel like,

so I knew about you. because Lee, our shared manager has talked about you... Hello, Lee, hello. She's talked about you for a while, how wonderful you are. And when you were in Edinburgh, was it this year or last year

that you had a really good year? Not this year. That's assuming one of them was bad. No. It was the year, but this year I wasn't really doing a show so I'm hoping it would have been last year. It was last year.

You got nominated. That was the year. That was 23. 23, you got nominated. God, you guys know. Todd year? You're a huge fan. We are so nervous.

to meet you. I was so nervous to, because I've never said your surname out loud and my accent can, and the fact that I'm a terrible reader, I can ruin surnames.

And you don't know this, Rosie, I went in, when Annie was getting a makeup done, I went in the other room and I said, how'd I see your surname? Maglion, is that right? She went, yeah, but go full Italian on it. I went, no.

I don't sound like an absolute asshole. Where's the Italian from in your family? It's dad. Dad, well, grandma. Nice. Grandma moved from Italy when she was like 20.

Nice. She was like, I'm going to leave Italy. They lived in like a, village was like 4,000 people, like tiny. And she was like, I'm fucking out of here. And then she moved to Watford. Oh, wow.

Yeah, what a change. She stayed, yeah. And then my granddad came over with her. They'd met. They lived on the same street. Isn't that amazing? They grew up on the same street. So she didn't meet someone in Watford.

No. No. No. She was like, bring the Italian men over. Yeah, I've never been to Watford before. But I imagine, I think I would find Italian. and I'm a bit more interesting. And me?

No, not you. You're nice. So that's from there. It just dags at me nonstop. Yeah, it's unbelievable. It's unbelievable. Does the person in this seat have to be like the therapist? That's sometimes what this is.

So we do your podcast together and we've done it for six years and we are, some weeks we are sick of talking to each other. We don't have anything to say. And sometimes when there's a new person here, you just become sort of, we either try to get you to side with us in an argument we're having. Or you just have to sort of meet. You have to kind of mediate what's going on really. I would love to pick a side. I think arguments are all about taking... There's all this stuff I think

my boyfriend would say to me from something that he's read which is like arguments in a couple aren't about winning or losing they're about understanding each other and I'm like, well you're going to lose. Yeah, exactly. You fucking lose us mentality. You're going to lose so quickly. Yeah, they're not about winning and losing with that attitude, dickhead.

That's rubbish. Yeah, they're about winning. They're about winning. They're about winning and getting as many apologies afterwards as you can. Oh, you love an apology, don't you? Oh, I want it formal. I want it written. Do you really? Because I very rarely. of the moment.

So when I do, it needs to be a moment. It's like a wedding speech. I'll hit it. I'll hit a couple of little glass with it and I'm like, get all the neighbours around. Everyone,

she's going to apologise. That's, yeah, the moon is full. There's a comet flying past. Great. And she's going to apologize. It's because I'm usually justified

in what I've said. I'm not, like, not that I'm not ever wrong. I don't mean that in a bad way, but I'd, yeah, you're a liar. Anyway,

we'll get under that. Oh my God. I cannot believe. No, this is a different thing. It's such a fat one, yesterday. Oh, it was about the heating.

It's always about the heating. We've got our podcast. We've got a studio. It's got a separate heating system to our normal house. And I was like, we need to put the heating on because we did it a week before

and I was uncomfortably cold to the point where I actually think it was detrimental to the podcast because I was so cold that I couldn't perform properly. Gieleno says, keep your audience cold, the laugh more.

Well, I wasn't. I was pretty heated up. Why? Well, out of biology to like heat themselves up. Yeah, yeah. Well, just because if you're really hot, if your audience in a TV studio or in a theatre are hot, the less likely, they'll go, uh. Lethargic. Right, right, right, right.

That's interesting. They're a bit on the edge of the suit. They're a bit, and they'll laugh more. J. Leno, does not lie. They're just shivering so much that it sounds like laughter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Their breathing just sounds like laughter because they're slowly dying. Does Jieleno tell his wife that he's put the heating in the 20s?

And then when the wife goes to check, it's actually only 18.5. That's dirty. Isn't that sick? That's not even like... She could have died. She could have died, Chris. But don't lie. That's the little lies that I don't know.

It's like when I like the kids, the little shitty lies. But they're not, they don't... But that really fucks me off. Did it work? Did you feel hotter? No, it's still cold. It just wasn't on. She runs cold as bullshit.

But you got to understand, Rosie says things like, come and put the heating on for five minutes. And I'm like, that's, but what is that even going to do? Do five press-ups. That'll get you warm and then put the heating on for five minutes. He's a psycho. Do five press ups. Just pick the side.

Pick the wrong fucking side. I run cold as well, so I'm... If someone told me to do press ups, I would... Imagine. Especially, I'm not being funny. Like, I've got a job. I've got a job. I pay half into this mortgage.

Put the heating on. But I will be... The problem is, I will be uncomfortably hot and difficult to work with. Well, then I tell you, I'll go outside and sit in the guard for five minutes. Listen, here's a question. Okay. Right? Just a bit of a backstory.

story. I was once on a plane a few years ago and it was in Spain and something was broken. We had to sit on the plane with no air conditioning for about 45 minutes. I thought I was going to die. Oh, I sat on the plane in Spain. What? Yeah, I sat on the plane in Spain. Did it really? Oh, no, I thought that might be coming. Oh, come on. You're a professional comedian and you're embarrassing yourself in front of them with a professional comedian, so I'm telling enough. Deep down, I respect it. Deep down, I respect it. I was too afraid to go there, but I'm glad you did. Sometimes what you're going to do

Just when she's on a rant You've just going to put a couple of little comedy speed bumps in the way I'm not on a rant Or she will Yeah, she'll see and get herself cancelled by the end I was on her So I was really hot Like dying, sweating

Like it was so uncomfortable But that made me think You know, I hate being cold And I would hate to be in a really cold situation But the hot situation was awful Would you rather freeze to death Or die if heat exhaustion It's the question of a lifetime, isn't it?

Would I die of... It's the most pointless, would you rather ever? Listen, you're going to die either way. Would you rather be freezing gold or hot? Would you rather go from being... I think too hot? It was awful, I've got to tell you. No, you don't think.

Right, right, right. Let's make this a realistic question. Okay. You're doing a stand-up set. Okay. You're on stage in a theatre. Would you rather be absolutely freezing on stage? You've got a court on, it's freezing.

It's like in the middle of winter. Or would you rather be unbearably? sweat and can't catch your breath while doing a 20 minute set. Am I dying at the end of that? Am I dying in the set? You're not dying on your ass. You're doing very well. Audience laughter.

Tate that out of the equation. Doesn't matter. Would you rather perform boiling hot or freezing cold? I think boiling hot. Because don't you think like when you see a stand-up like sweating their tits off and they're like they come off stage and they're like, and you're like, wow, you really did a good job there. Like you're like an athlete.

Whereas when I come off I'm like less sweaty than I went off. People are like, oh, you're like conserving it. You're like conserving it. I did. I don't know if I told you this, it was a heat wave. When me and Carl Hutchinson, who supports on tour, we were performing in Lincoln, Lincoln Engine Shed, big old rooms, about 800 and odd people in. It was 36 degrees outside.

And it was like, it was a hotest day of year. And it was really hot inside. And I was under the lights and everything. There'd be no aircon. They wouldn't open the side doors, fire and safe, fire and health and safety or something. They wouldn't open the fire doors. There was literally doors all the way along.

They could have opened any of them. I'm sure I've talked about this before. And Carl came off and I've never seen someone in my life with sweat patches on their shins. He had cream pants on and he looked like you had shin guards on, sweat patches.

And I went on stage in, and I've never done this. I had flip flops, shorts and a t-shirt. I said at the crowd, I'm sorry but I can't perform my jeans or anything. It got so hot that all the lights went off. Oh my God. When the lights went off,

it was the best feeling in the world because it was so hot and they went off and I just got hit with this slightly cooler wave. I wept. Okay, well then you answer the question. I'd rather be called. I'd rather be called. I'd rather be called.

And living with someone who runs hot is an absolute nightmare. And Friday night dinner, when that dad is running around the house with his top off, it's the most accurate portrayal of family life and comedy in the history of British TV. I'm telling you, when he's like, I'm so hot, I put my skin off. Exactly that. Do you have the thing? So this is because I'm similar. I'm the cold one in my relationship.

but when we go to bed at night my toes and my fingers are really cold and what I like to do is try and like tuck them under my boyfriend's feet and legs and he gets really annoyed because it makes him cold but my toes then get hot or like if we're sitting on the sofa watching TV

I like to like tuck my feet under his bum and he hates it does he hear it? Well if sometimes because I go too far and then I'm in the danger zone he doesn't like that doesn't like that which is to be fair to him

fair enough Yeah You're sitting watching slow horses You don't want a bit of that like You used to do a podcast Yes yeah we did Oh we need to talk about this Yeah I would be so interested

Because we did this podcast It was called a bisexual And a boyfriend Because that's our setup Great I'm the bisexual You're bisexual And he's

A boyfriend A boyfriend Of me Bisexual Or no No Okay I mean I'm sure

If we got him on a good day Get them toes a bit further every night every night them doors go up a bit further my project yeah

once you bring that seal that's it I've never heard break the seal used in that context and I love it babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadu we did the podcast

I would say for about a year but then we were like oh it's so much to do and have a relationship at the same time and we were just like I don't think we can do both we were like our relationship is like suffering a bit

Really? Yeah, but also You've got to just fight through that Do you think? Oh, we had days well wouldn't even speak to each other man. I don't know. I think we've been all right.

I don't know any different now. Yeah, I guess now it's all you know. Like a sort of... It's been more, I think we've... Like a hostage. Yeah, we are, yeah. It's all I know now. Yeah.

It's how we live. We've got Stockholm syndrome. We've got Stockholm syndrome. We've got Stockholm's syndrome with the podcast. But do you run out of stuff to say to each other? So, we used to have mornings where would go right, look, would convene in the morning and we'd go right, we'll do the podcast at 1 o'clock,

I'll see you then, don't talk us until then. So we would literally have a morning off from each other. But we can kind of thought through that, where now we can literally sit and be in full conversation about something else, press record and then just start the podcast. We live quite separate lives, you know. Because everyone says to us, like, how do you live together, how do you work together, how do you?

But actually, when we're not working or when we're not doing some of the family, we're very rarely see each of that. And that's why it works. But that's what we, because we were like, we were like, oh, we're so overlapping in our lives. Because also, like, he's a comic. We work together. Sometimes he would, like, direct my shows.

And we did the podcast and also not having actual jobs where you're out that. We're like in the house together all day. So then I think it was like, now we need to separate. And now our lives are a bit more separate. And I'm like, who are you? Yeah, but that's nice. It's quite exciting. Well, we've got kids as well.

So our lives are kind of separate. Like when you just said about putting your tours in the bed, We haven't, when was the last time we were like fully, oh last night? Well, we're on a hotel though. Oh, we're on a hotel last night. Yeah. But we didn't touch it. Separate rooms.

We just rolled over. Good night. Yeah, yeah. Well, we have a very small bed. Our bed is, it's a huge problem. What is it? I genuinely think it's a, it's a double. It's a double.

Yeah. Yeah. And I think once we get a big bed, it'll be like the perfect relationship. You've got to get, we've got a super king size. Have you? Oh, I swear to God. It's like just sleeping. on your own.

Yeah. It's really, I think it's really nice. Double bed. The word double bed is one of the biggest lies. Yeah. In product sales. They're really small, aren't they?

It's not a double. I can't, it's horrendous. Yeah. Absolutely horrendous. But do you remember, though, as a kid, if your friend had a double bed? Did you ever have a friend who had,

did you have a double bed when you were a kid? No, I had, I had like a kind of, I guess it was a single bit. It was like big, big single. I had a, you mean a three quarter.

Maybe that's what? I made. Oh my God. You're very familiar. I know all the beds. I know all the bed sizes. Do you know what? Chris sent me a link the other day of this like American massive sort of like, what was it?

Like a bespoke made bed where you just sleep with your full family. Full family and one bed. Yeah. It's like what is called big bed company or something it was called. So like let's go on pillows. So imagine a pillows that wide, right? You could fit four pillows next to each other comfortably on the bed. Still with the gap at either side.

I'm talking it was. No. It was wider than it was wider than. It was wider than eight foot, this bed. It looked amazing. Like an orgy bed. Whole family. But for a family,

filthy pig. Family orgy. Family orgy. No. No. But like, oh my God, it looked amazing. Wow. But the duvet.

The idea of the duvet stressed me out so much. Pulling it from one side. One person at one end. Oh, you have to have a set of duvies. When our youngest comes in, though, in our bed in the middle of the night, we've got a super king-sized bed. And he's just on top of me. Yeah. They might as well be in a single bed.

of the bed is like practically, he's just on me. So even if we had that massive bed, no. It wouldn't fit in the room. It would be ridiculous. Well, that's the thing. We don't have much bigger. Our bed is that small because our room is that we've got like a long,

thin room, like a coffin. So then it's like, because I live in London. I know. Yeah, we live in. Oh my God. We've got a long thin room like a coffin. Are you going to say it,

I should be, shouldn't I? You should be a state of it? And now we have the long thin bedroom, much like a coffin. Get ready. Why not get used to it now? You're going to be in there for a while. Also, low ceilings. Do you want to be buried, like remitted? Fuck me. Just because we're getting there. Buried glass coffin standing up in a wall.

See, I'm similar. Art stuffed and mounted. I want to be stuffed and mounted for the family. Is this a comedian thing? Yeah, we need attention even in death. This is like the need for attention to even in death. How could I possibly be burned? I'm going to have more jokes to tell. I need you look that. Oh, Jesus Christ. Stuffed and mounted.

On what? Did you say it on the side? Just him in general. Mantle of it. Preferably, directly in the way of the telly so everyone's got it's got with his all the time. Or just like leaning on it.

Yeah, yeah. Like just, like actually just kind of caught some of me. Do you know I have just finished watching that monster on Netflix. Did you watch it? Ed Gain's story? No.

That's really good. He just used to dig people up from the dead. Right. Kind of just leave them out in his house. Okay. Do that with you? Leave them out? Just leave them out.

And then you would like, top of his skin. off. Oh, took all their skin off and where their skin. He was the, he was like the origin story

for Texas chainsaw massacre, psycho, um, for all these horror films. It's based on a real guy. Yeah, pretty much. That's the most awful thing to hear about a horror film. It's like,

oh, it's based on a true story. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. There was this guy called Ed Gain and you just committed these like, he didn't act, in his defense, right? He didn't kill that many people. In his defense.

And he was just digging them up. He was digging them up. He did murder them. Sorry. In his defence, he didn't kill that many people. Honestly, if you ever become a lawyer, don't open with that. Do not put that in your opening statement. He was a schizophrenic. Yeah.

But back then, so my sister watched it. And then I was busy watching it. And I'm like, God, he's awful. Jesus, it's horrible. But it is Charlie Hunderman, so he's really attractive. And you kind of fancy him a bit. So it's really weird to watch. And then my sister was like, you feel sorry from by the end. Because he ends up in a mental asylum and he gets older.

and he's actually on medication and he's, you know, it's a bit more compass mentess and whatever. And by the end, I did feel a bit sorry for him. And I thought, but when she told me, I went, no way, he's literally shagging a dead woman on his kitchen table. Oh, what?

Oh, you missed that bit out as well. Oh, yeah, no, he shags. I mean, everyone listening to this or watching this. You don't need to go and see that. You don't even watch out on Netflix. Oh, I spoil a little, but it is a true story so I could read about it in the paper. And then I did a deep dive on the actual Ed Gain.

Yeah. Because I always like to see whether the look. Do you do that? Like after I've watched something, I'm always like, do they look like him? Does he look like Charlie Hunt? A little bit. A little bit. Yeah?

Oh my gosh, he also, I don't know if it's true. I'll have to do it, but in the part of the series, which I never knew, he helped find Ted Bundy. He helped the police. What? He kind of threw someone else under the bass. Yeah, I'm looking at Daisy or a producer. She's seen it.

Is that true? No, she hasn't seen it. Oh, she hasn't seen it. Right up your street, Daisy. I think she's probably looking to see it maybe let's talk about other stuff and not that murder documentary. I'm actually here to promote that murder documentary. That's my PR cycle is to promote murderers in America.

He's a great guy. In his defence, he did not kill that many. And he only had to say, it was his own kitchen table and she was already dead. That's how I want to go. I changed my answer. Now, I love talking about dead people on tables, but your tour start on the 6th. of February in Leeds and runs until the 17th of May, 12-night run at the Soho Theatre. Yeah, I know. That'll be nice. That's quite a long time. That's a really good one. Yes. Brilliant. Yeah. It's very nice. Downstairs.

Oh, I love that room. I did that last year and it was like, it's so fun to just, I just get on the tube and then I'm there. And then I'm doing my show and you're like, wow, I feel like a true comedian. Same place for 12 nights. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And you're doing the Bloomsbury, London Bloomstreet on May the 15th. That'll be nice as well. Yeah. What's the two are called? It's called peach fuzz. Like what you get on your face? Yeah. Yeah, because originally...

What's peach fuzz? It's like the hair. Is it what women get on it? Yeah, it's like the kind of like thin layer of hair that I think you get on your face. Have you ever shaved your face? Yeah. Have you? Do you know what?

I've got a really hairy face. Yeah, mine is so hairy. But I've never done it. So what did you do? Once. I just, you know, I just, it was in lockdown. It was like, we just experiment. It doesn't count if it's a lot of.

No, nothing. But I don't think, I don't think it really, for a day you're like, wow, everything sits so nicely on my face. And then it just goes back and you're like, but I can't, this would be my whole life if I did this. Just doing it. Did you use like one of the special dry raisers? Did you spray your face for that stuff? No. Are you meant to spray your face?

Like a dry shampoo type spray. You meant to spray your face so it shows where it all is. And then you're meant to do it. And then you shave it off. I've got, I asked you, have I got a moustache? What? because my friend has started waxing her lip upper lip

but I never ever noticed and she was like it's really bad I was like she's been my best friend for 25 years and I was like I have never ever noticed that you've had any hair You've never noticed that Whenever she says anything funny She twizzles it

That's a thing Do not if she listens to this I'm sorry But it got me really It got me really paranoid to whether If I've got light hair So I wonder Because I've got once again

We're back to my Italian roots. It's thick and it's dark. Very, very cunty, you're here. Thank you. You're welcome. Cundi. So we talked about this before and I've been waiting for the perfect moment. That was really good.

That was very good. So when you were getting your makeup done, Pannies that's a positive thing now. Is it? Isn't that terrifying? Yeah, it's like a compliment. Like it's giving cunt, it's cunty. Like business, you mean business type thing.

It started because Daisy outside's got a little bob now. Daisy's just had a cunty bob. A cunty bob. And there was, and at Rosie, I was exactly what you were like. They were sitting in there, oh yeah, it's cunty. Yeah, so if something's cool, it's like, it's all London, young London people are going, if something's cool, it's giving cunt. And I sat there, mortified.

I felt 720 years old. Give me three years and I'll have a cunty bob. Yeah, I've never had. So I said, so you were getting your makeup done, I said, look, at some point in the interview, I'll just tell you out here's cunty and we'll see what Rosie does. It was, you've, we'll get a close up when you're, It was perfect. Maybe I should have given it more.

If I had walked out. Just throwing your water on us. That would be amazing. Yeah, I just, I feel, I feel out with touch. I feel old.

I feel confused. I just, why is the worst possible word now a positive thing? I don't understand. Although Daisy said it's getting reclaimed. Getting your own in it. Right.

Yeah, but it's always, it's always like a word that, like, sick is like bad and good. I feel like it has to be bad to mean good. Does that make any sense?

I feel like I'm having a break down now. No, I know. We've got a 10-year-old, so sick is back in the line. Yeah, yeah. And it's like any, the word, they have to like change the meaning of the word to make it. It's language. It's interesting. I think it's probably because, you know, coming from a man who's never actively called a woman that word. Yeah.

It's not like it has to be right. Don't come on here. Pretending that you're a nice guy. Listen. In front of a man. Hey, I've called you lots of things, but I've never pulled that one out the bag. No, he's not exactly. But now you can.

And it can be a compliment. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, a little cunty little rat. Did I do it right? No, we'll work on. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo bah. And yeah, you're going to read a question out of us.

Oh, God. Yeah. This is sent in by our lovely listeners. We have no idea what it is. But they're always very amusing. Okay. Dear Chris and Rosie, please keep me anonymous. Recently I was chatting with, do you think I can say ma'am? It's written ma'am.

Does it sound weird when I say. Yeah, you've got to say. Or you can change it to whatever you want. Recently I was chatting with my mother. No, God. With my mother and father. I don't think anyone who listens to our podcast has ever wrote mother and father. I don't think anyone's ever done this.

Recently I was chatting with me, Mam and Dad on FaceTime, after not seeing much of each other due to a bug going around. My dad mentioned about having to cancel a dentist appointment because of said bug. I asked my dad what he was supposed to be getting done, and Mam shouted over, your dad needs fillings because he sits on his... ass on the sofa after a meal, regurgitates his food, chews it around and swallows it.

What? It's not the end, but I think maybe, oh my God, your face is. He vomit like a penguin. So he gets, he's chewing his food twice. He eats it. He regurgitates it. Yeah. And then he chews it again and then it goes back down.

It'll taste like soap. And it must be eroding his teeth. Yeah, of course, because he's bringing some. stomach acid, bringing some bile up with it, yeah. Oh my God. Yeah, like a mum bird feeding at, well. Yeah. This is gross.

If that's not already disgusting enough, she also shouted out that the dog now can tell when he's about to do it and sits waiting in front of him. That's right. My dad has started to feed the dog the regurgatory. Stop. No, no, get in the bin. You are...

Oh, the walk among us. Oh my God. You might have sat next to him on. the tree and that is so that is so disturbing his fucking breath I will read this last line just because I think this is an interesting take

when I quite rightly asked what the fuck he responded with it's not me it's the dog just as you have said many times dogs will literally eat anything we talk about that a lot it always astounds me but that is not on the dog

that's not the dog's spot that's not on the dog at all give him from the table cook extra you don't have to chew it Why is he for me? There's always the moment that these people have realised

that can do these things. Yeah. So when did he realise? I was telling you, so I'll sleep on me left. If I've eaten load before bed. So if you sleep on your right, the tube that comes out

at the top of your stomach and up to you is covered by stuff because it's on the right hand side. So if you sleep on your left, it's open. Does that make sense? I sleep on my left. I didn't know of that at all.

It's better for your heart as well. Yeah. So stuff can, basically it's like, it's having a, a bottle, have neither the bottle there with the top there or there, that's the difference.

I lay on me right the idea by accident and I just was not enough and I woke myself up for some odd reason as if I was about to be sick. I literally was like and I sat up and I had a little bit

in my mouth and it was the worst taste in the whole world and I was devastated and I didn't even want to go to sleep I just sat up just absolutely shell-shocked and mortified.

He enjoys that feeling. He were good. Being sick is one of the worst feelings it's one of the worst things everybody can do. He's awful. He regurgitated. And then, as he's doing it, at one point,

looked at the dog and went, you hungry, mate? And is it like mouth to mouth? Yeah, is he fucking full-in' kissing that dog? Like, I said like, he's penguin and he's dog? Disgusting. And you put a bit of tongue in there as well. You got to put a bit of tongue in.

Come on, he loves the dog. What kind of dog? Does he say what kind of dog is? It doesn't say, but I think it's got to be, it's got to be a big one. It can't be doing that to like a little sausage. No. And it's got a massive dog. I think some dogs are,

Greedy other dogs. Yeah. Grady dog. Have you got a dog? I haven't got a dog. My parents have dogs. They have like spaniels. And I think you can imagine is the dog has got to be enough that you, it's kind of like bullying him.

Like it can't be like a sausage dog or like a chihuahua. No, that it's going to have to get up there and be in his business. Yeah. It's not. It's not. But also there's so many steps to this that is really upsetting. Because it's even without the dog there, he's regurgitating it and then chewing it again. It's disgusting.

Just have a snack. Oh, yeah, chew, he probably doesn't chew his food properly because if you chew your food properly, you wouldn't be able to just regurg to take chunks of it, would you? Why is she still married to him? That's the, yeah, yeah, that's it. Oh, yeah. Like, I'll not, you'll not stop doing that. So that's what fucks me off as well with some people.

They'll do a monkey thing and then he's going to the dentist and paying money and wasting someone's time. Or you need to fix this because I'm a filthy fucker and I re-go and I re-go and I kiss my dog. I hate them. I kind of, this is maybe a crazy take, but I kind of think, all dads are like one decision away from this. Like, I just feel like all dads are on the brink. One decision. Like, slide indoors.

Do you know what? I, yeah. I just kind of think they are. I think they're all on the brink of feeding their dog out their mouth. Yeah. We don't have dogs. But my dad, so was recently over. And I swear to God, he drinks about 20 cups of tea a day.

I'm not even exaggerate. You've never seen a man drink more tea than ever. And I said to him. like, do you want a glass of water? You say, oh, I don't drink water. I was like, oh, I don't drink tea. I was like, it's not the same. It's a diure. It's a diure. It's a diure.

It's a diure. It's a liquid, strip water from your system. Drinks of water. What the fuck? Have a glass of water. Yeah. So yeah, I think you're right. I think, I'm a dad. I'm not. No, I'm a modern dad. He is not a modern dad. He is not a modern dad.

Right, okay. You mean the older generous. Yeah. Yeah. He's a boomer dad. He's just eating his own vomit. He probably didn't get much food as a kid. Like, this is where it all. eating his own vomit, man. You think it's like a childhood trauma response? Maybe he's just sort of like, he's just can't stop it now. Yeah.

But please stop it. Do you not think that dog is also thinking like, what the fuck? Maybe the dog thinks he's dying. They don't know that they're good. Or maybe he thinks this is where he gets his food, a new food bowl. If you, sorry, if you, no, dogs don't think. So I saw a thing recently I said, the most intelligent dogs are basically about as intelligent as a two or three year old.

That's what I'm saying they're not, yeah. Have you ever seen a dog be sick, then eat its own sick. Yes. It's instant. They go, they literally go, oh, God, that was horrible. Oh, what's that? It's unbelievable.

It's the quickest thing. They don't give a shit. Anya, now and then, a story gets read that really ruins me day. And I just want to let you know that that's ruined me day. It's upset.

It's really upsetting, isn't it? Yeah, it's really upsetting. I'm not proud of it. You didn't write it. I did. You want me even? I do. Tell your dad is again.

Not in a good way. So your tour starts on February 6th in Leeds and runs until the 17th of May. You're on two the same time as May with my bummering to each other. Oh, great. We can sicken to each other's mouths. Definitely not. And that includes a 12-night run at the Soho Theater

from the 23rd of February to the 7th of March. An extra date has been added in London Bloomsby on the 15th of May. It's been an absolute pleasure chatting here. Thank you so much for having me. What a treat. He's been lovely. It's been a joy. Thank you.

Bye. Bye.