Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Please Keep Me Anonymous with Asim Chaudhry

Episode Date: October 14, 2026

On this week's Please Keep Me Anonymous, Chris and Rosie are joined by the brilliant comedian, actor and adopted Geordie, Asim Chaudhry! Asim is on to talk about The Reluctant Vampire but of course that chat goes in all kinds of directions including Asim's calves, his love for Newcastle and what life is like on a movie set. The Reluctant Vampire stars Lenny Rush, Tom Davis, Sian Clifford and Asim Chaudhry. You can watch the whole Series on BBC Ipayer! If you want to get involved and have your stories and voice notes included on the podcast, then get in touch!  📧: [e-mail] 📱: 07874 406650 You can watch the podcast on the Shagged Married Annoyed YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@shagged.married.annoyed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My rec league goalie says he plays for the love of the game. You gave up six goals last week, Steve? Maybe play to win, huh? Like with Bet365. I get paid the second my team goes out big with early payout and can cash out at any time before the game ends. Come on, Steve. Bet 365, the home of winning early.

Must be 19 and older. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you were someone you know is concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca. Or call 1866 5 through 1,2,600. Terms and conditions apply. to Shagmaridoy, please keep me anonymous.

On this week's episode, we are joined by Assam Chowdry. Absolutely, such a fun chat with Asim Chowdhury. I've had such a laugh. I'm exhausted from laughing. Asim is on, I mean, if you don't know, Asim Chowdry is, he's been in so many amazing comedies, British comedies throughout the years, but he's currently on talking about The Reluctant Vampire, which is Sunday, 6.40pm on BBC 1, but it's also all on I play out if you want to watch that.

All in one go, we're going to watch it with Robin, I think, don't you? I really long forward to it actually. So yeah, just a hilarious chat. So we covered so much ground. Just a, first time we've met him as well. Just a really funny guy. I hope you enjoy it as much as we did. We had a fight about the jingle.

We couldn't settle on a jingle. Jingle do. So this is the Jingle, Jingle, we hope you like the Jinggo, Jingle. Babadoo, Babadoo, Babadoo, Babo, Babo do. So I watch real housewives. Okay. Which one of... Everything.

If there's a housewife in a place. Is there a Jordy one yet? No. Oh my God. But they did trial one, you know? They started filming Real Housewives of Newcastle. They did like an episode. This was when we lived in Northumberland. They did like an episode, but I don't know what happened to it.

Northumberland sausage. Yes. Sorry, word of says. Yeah. You know, I support Newcastle. Wait, you guys are Newcastle? No, no, we've got it in your notes. Alan Sheeerosos.

your childhood hero. So you're a Newcastle fan? Yeah, I love Newcastle. Wow. I'm a proper adopted Jordy. So I go, I'm up there all the time. You guys are Jordies, right? Well, we're from South Shields just outside.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're actually close at the Sunland, I'll be honest with you right now. But that's why I wasn't sure. Oh, we're not, we're not affiliated with either team. Don't worry about it. Do you know what? Political. Right down the middle.

We don't want to get over. We're Switzerland of Georgia. You're the Switzerland of Jordan. You're the Switzerland of Jordan. But you know what it is, though? There's a big fence. called South Shields and we fucking sit on it right in the middle. We talk about this quite a lot because you're not a huge football fans.

Not a huge football fan. But all of our friendship groups, there's half Newcastle, half Sunderland. It's just the way that it is. But if you do affiliate yourself to a certain team, you'll lose. Yeah. I've got mate who love Sam Fender, love his music. They would rather die than go to St James's part to watch him because it's in St. Jim's.

Mental mate. It's like the Crips of the Bloods. It's crazy. I remember, have I talked about it? I remember years ago, it's not that bad. It's fine. No, of course. I know.

The football teams can be in the same pub together. Of course. But I remember years ago. Hang on, I need to say as well, though, my dad is literally like, if he bled, he would bleed Sondland Red, right, so. Yeah.

I'm more of a Sondland household, but I like that any, that the North East is doing well, football-wise. Yeah, both teams. It sounds about a great season. To have both teams up in the premiership, and if it's still even called the Premiership,

to have them both up there. It's amazing for the area. It's great for the local area, It's great for everything. I remember years ago, Kevin Bridges, the comedian, came to my house years ago when we're just doing the clubs

and we were in a pub and we're just having my lunch and the pub was half of Newcastle fans and half of Southern fans and he was freaking out and I was like, oh, I was like mate, he thinks it's like up in Scott right. I was like, like Glasgow, yeah,

I was like me, it's not like these'll there might be the odd words said they'll call each other wanker or something and then they'll be fine. But also just generally like every time one of the reasons why I love Newcast so much is when I do go up there it's it's such a

even when you even when we have away fans who come like when we were champions league whoever comes they all say Newcastle was one of the most friendliest places yeah and if there is a bit this friendly banter and if you can't get down with that then it's like you know what I mean so it's never I've never experienced like that oh god

it's a bit aggressive or something or it might kick off you're kind of already seen you've never punched a horse is that what I mean you know I'm a big fan of that moment but no I mean as a touring comedian Did you have any idea? It was like being a Jordy, classed as a Geordie comic, being on tour while in the news,

a Newcastle fan had punched. It was fucking Chris. But you've got material about that, haven't you? It was, I did, I had it on tour. Yeah, I remember that. I've seen it. It's amazing. I was like, this is incredible.

Yeah. And to be fair, one of me, one of, can remember we were once in a restaurant in Newcastle just after I've done strictly, and Alan Sheeer was in the corner of the restaurant. With, oh my God, there's a, with Steve Bruce. Steve Bruce. In their wife. restaurant and their wives and we're like oh my god

this aren't she and I was like fucking else Alan Shira obviously you know yeah I knew him from when I was younger and everything we were walking out and he just went Chris and I turned around and he's like come here him and his wife watch Strictly oh we love John Strictly well done and all that and I was like oh my God I get invited at golf days

it's close house sometimes now and the other day it was his birthday he put his birthday he's on Instagram and I don't know why we'll follow each other on Instagram and I wrote happy birthday mate and then on his comments and I close it and for about 10 minutes I sat there going why have I done that?

I'm not on me to terms without this is an shit I'm not on me and then I went back on 10 minutes later and he went comment on me thanks Chris no oh fuck so I I've obviously he's my you know he's one of my heroes who grew up posters on the wall all that stuff I've never met him before right but I know his son right will and you know

I've been to a few games with it it was the euros the COVID euros right it was England Germany I went with my mate and we were outside we were just getting getting a pint and I see four lads and they've all got England shirts on, but they've all got Shira on the back. Yeah.

That's weird. And they come up to me and they go, oh, we love people just nothing. Can we get a picture? Yeah. I'm taking a picture of one of the guys and he's like, you might know my old man.

And I went, who's my old man? He went, Alan? I went, Alan, he went, Alan, he went, Alan, Shira. And I went, sorry? And he went, he loves just, he got him on FaceTime. Shot the fuck off. Yeah.

And I didn't know what to say. I just like, yeah, yeah. And I don't know. Why, I am, man? Like, just terrible Geordy exit. But then he followed me on Instagram. But I really, and I actually, I've had opportunities to meet him, like, brand stuff. I'm not saying I've said no, but it's never quite happened.

And I'm actually okay with that. But I do that. I message him on his birthday and he would just like it. He won't say anything back. He'll just like the message. But I'm, I almost don't want to meet him because he's such a hero. And I know he's lovely. Everyone ever met.

I know he's lovely. I know he's lovely. But I'm almost like, you know, like, it's the Wizard of Oz. You know, I don't want to see behind the curtains and then go, oh, he's just a normal man. I know. He's a god. I don't want to meet God. When do you meet God?

When you die. There it is. Well, exactly. Think about it. Slow it down. So we have more of an in with him. And if you do die, we might see if we can get him to come to you. To my funeral.

Yeah. No, I just don't, I'm actually fine with, because I'm such a fan. And I think that's a lost thing these days. I'm people are just fans. It's fine. I don't need to meet the actor. I like that. I'm just a fan.

I want to sit back and watch. And admire and be a fan. Because sometimes I think there is that element of you see behind the curtain. You're in it too much. And it ruins the magic and the romance of it all. So I'm fine with not meeting most of my heroes. I'm not like, you know what I mean? No, I totally agree with that.

I agree. I agree. I like, I do, obviously not saying I'm anyone's hero, but I do like it when I'll be walking or I'll be somewhere. And I see someone like acknowledged the look. They'll say to me and they'll just little nod. I love that. And you go, the little nod is cool as fuck.

Yeah. The little nod is. And they're not there with their phone in their hands. And you're just waiting for that moment to be over. Like, let's take the picture. Do you want to get us wrong? Love the full of course. All of that, not being a prick.

But there's something very cool about the little. They're not. It almost makes them feel cooler. Yeah. You know, they're like, yeah, man. Love your stuff, man. And you go up, man. And you're like, wow, a normal conversation.

And then leave. Like, and I'm like, even something like, you don't want a picture? Nah, fuck that. And I'm like, oh, now I'm the wind. You know what I mean? But it's lovely because it feels real. And it feels like a mental picture.

A moment for your mind, for your memory. But you must get it for so many things now. Because, I mean, you're in so... Obviously, people just do nothing. Yeah. But now, obviously now the Rookan vampire, which you want to talk about. But, I mean, we look ready by,og. You're in, like, you've been in gods in the galaxy.

Yeah, but that was a CGI character. I played a warress. Right. Where was that done? I filmed that in Atlanta in Marvel Studios. No way. Yeah. It was unbelievable.

Was anyone else there? Yeah, James Garn't we? They were all the director was there But we were all in the mocap suits Right With huge Marvel fans Yeah James Gunn's a genius

It was an incredible experience It was like I was actually with Ramesh The other day I was doing a bit of press for this Yeah And he told me that he auditioned for that role Right

And he got a callback But I got it in the end And I was like oh okay Ramesh The one role you didn't get Oh boohoo And he's bringing it up You're in literally everything else Ramesh

But all he's in everything else His fucking production company makes everything else You know what I mean? Yeah, exactly so No, but he was It was a great experience And yeah, you know what? It's one of those weird things where like

I think I do You know, you do get recognised But it kind of depends where you are And also, you know, it's a chain reaction When one person does it to you And then everyone goes, oh, it's that guy Yeah, yeah I think with me as well, being a brown fella

I think with the white people Sometimes they always are a bit You know, just let's make sure You know what I mean? sometimes I fuck with him as well I thought we hear that oh my god are you ask me chat are you chobabit and I'm like

knows that and they go oh my god I'm like oh so we all look like oh my god it's always the posh ones they go oh my god I'm so sorry I'm mortified I'm like chill out it is me oh god don't do that to me I thought I was racist oh you bastard that's great

I fucking sweating and I love your stuff but it's sometimes you got to be careful because you know what I mean You have to be sure when it's, you know, when they're not white. You have to be careful. So this is what, I was, obviously this is the first time we've met. And now I feel very comfortable asking this question because I was a little bit worried. So have you been on any things?

Obviously you did that James Gunn and everything's there, but he's the director, he's part of it. So I'm guessing there was no, you know, Star Lord wasn't there. Chris Pratt wasn't there. No, funny enough. So the guy who plays, who does the mocap for Rocket is actually James Gunn's brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he does all the actual, you know, he was playing baby rocket, which is quite funny because he was doing like a silly voice.

Yeah. He was like doing a baby voice, bit weird. Cute. Yeah. You say cute, I found it a bit weird. It was a odd. Bit weird. There's a man in a leotard with his bits hanging out going, Oh my God, I don't want to go over there, man.

You know, it was like, doing a baby rocky. I mean, it was beautiful. And actually, it was, I didn't think it was going to be that emotional because when I read the script, but when you're watching, it really hits you because, I mean, it's got, you know, it's got themes of like, animal, well, concentration camp, really. That's what the animals were in. They were tested on. It was really, really dark.

And I remember, like, one of the animals. And I remember, like, one. When I, you know, because they only send you the sides. Yeah. And then once I got the part, they sent me the whole script. And obviously I read that we all die in the end. And I'm like, great. But because that's Marvel, I've been in D.C. as well with Sandman.

So I played Canaan Abel. I named my son Abel actually because I'm a narcissist. My nephew's called Abel. Really? Yeah. I love that. You know, I've always loved that name. I feel like it's, it's, well, it's literally the third name ever.

Because Adam E. Yeah, yeah, of course. So it's like the third name ever. Yeah. So it's a very old. name but I feel like it is making somewhat of a comeback. Well, it's so funny. Well, because I'm brought of Catholic. Yeah. And

have you ever seen sons of anarchy? Yeah. Well, there's a child in that called Abel. And when my brother, stupidly, when my brother named his nephew, I was like, sons of Anagy and he's like, no, the Bible. Ours is definitely not the Bible. I'm Muslim. I'm not practicing. My wife's Christian,

she's not practiced. We're not religious. So I was named literally because I played the character, but also like, it is, you know, I mean, we are from, you know, Abrahamic religions. And Abel's a name that's in every... You know, you've got like an Arabic version which is Habil, which my mum calls him.

I'm like, his name's Abel. He's like, how's Habil? His name's Abel. And then my wife's Armenian Christian. So there's a version of him, his name called Apel. And his, her mom's like, hello, appell. I'm like, it's April. It's fucking.

But you know what? We let him have it though because it's like, it's fine. But that's kind of why the name's so cool. Yeah, I love it. It's in every... Have you got any more? Have you got any other kids? He just popped him out.

You need a key. Five months. Congrats. And actually, let me show you this. Oh, let me see pictures. I won't show the cameras because we don't show his face. No, no, but come on.

Let's just blur it out. But, oh God. Let's have a lot. Five, fresh. Oh, God. Look at many notifications he's had to get back. I know. I haven't checked my phone for a while.

Oh. Oh, he's in Kentucky. Oh, he's got a newcastle top on. Oh, yeah, baby. Habel. Habel looks good. No, it says Abel on the back. Not Abel or Apeel.

Yeah. A bell to you. appeal and a pearl, but a Newcastle will call him Alan. Actually, Abel's quite a good journey name. Abel. Abel? Abel. Abel. Yeah. Is that, yeah? Abel. So this is the question I was going to ask, right?

Have you, obviously that was the moor cup thing. You've been another, you're like huge things. Are you ever? Because when you're in your own thing, when you do and you know, people just nothing, you're a little vampire, you know, you're a big star. What's it like when you go to these things where the other big stars are there and suddenly you're the bottom of the fucking food you know what?

It's a little fish, in it? Yeah. What's it like? Guardians is probably not the best example just because I wasn't really on set with like Bradley Cooper and all that. I mean obviously that would be,

I've done that kind of stuff before and it's fine. I, my experience is like the bigger the star, actually the nicer they are. I did a film, that rhymed. I did a film a couple years ago in Cape Town. You've got that on a T-shirt.

Yeah. And it was a film called Good Luck Have Fun Don't Die. Yes. And it's like an anti-AI film. It kind of, it came out. cinema's here but now it's doing well on streaming and everyone people really enjoy it it's Gaw Vibinsky the director who did Pirates of the Caribbean Sam Rockwell leading Michael Peña. Chris Gis and his pansy did film the media at uni so he's like well

here's my point so like they all like pretty much A-listers and I went there you know being a UK comedian actor whatever yeah nowhere near their level they were the but similar kind of role so it was an ensemble so you all kind of get the same treatment same trailers you all get PAs it was very nice but I swear to God. Sam Rock was probably the biggest actor I've ever worked with and the nicest. Oh, that's, I love Sam Rock. I'm so happy. I love him.

I love him. I love him. Hilarious, sweet. Good. And just an absolutely brilliant actor. Have you seen the clips of him dancing on when he comes on Kim or whatever? We were just talking about that. I was in a bar in Cape Town and he was on the table dancing.

And I'm telling you what, he is like, he's really small. Yeah. He's around 5, 5, 5, probably 5, 6. Really? Okay. And I'm telling you, all our wives would be like that gone around him. That's just mine's admitted it in front of it. Every woman would melt and not even in a kind of like cheesy way

like in a way where he will take your girl. He never will because he's a gent. Yeah. But he's every like he's smart, funny, tantity. And then once he starts dancing, you're like, get over. Unbelievable. Where did these people come from?

I know. There is men and women in this world who I think were sent from some sort of God. Like no, but they are. They're literally like you meet them and you're like, what the fuck you are like a Greek sort of God? like you're just drop dead gorgeous and demes their charisma how are you met people like this

male and female full man crushers I get I would have a full man crushes I would have a full man crushes 100% we all did yeah he comes on and he's got the suit as to the clips is it Kimmel or the other one Fallon is one of him and it comes on he just he just throws his suit and he's doing the splits and he's a big boxing fan as well

which you know that whole rhythm comes from that course it does you know and he's just honestly like and then a movie obviously he's a movie star but also such a movie student he'll come and go you gotta check this movie out here it's from the 1940s and all this and that and give you movie recommendations and just every day just the nicest guy so that's good to know amazing and i can imagine that actually with the big big stars they are just you know what it is i think it's like sometimes you know when you meet some of those stars who are

probably like a bit like i never quite got to where i thought i would get to and they have a bit of a chip on this show but like if you're sam rockwell you've won an oscar you're universally loved you've made a hundreds of great movies what you're like yeah he's got nothing to prove he's Got some really good ones. Like Moon, you've seen Moon? Oh, I love it. Oh, my God. Have you seen Moon?

He's just unbelievable. He's weird enough, even though he's one of the best. I still think he's underrated. Like, you know, he wouldn't come up in people's top five to ten. I would agree. But look at his work. Yeah, Green Mile. Yeah.

Absolute bastard in the Green Mile. Yeah. And I mean, three billboards where he won the Oscar for. One of the best villains ever with that walk, you know, that shit walk he did. Oh, he smashes the wind. He doesn't that. Oh, my God. Unbelievable.

You're right, though, because if you see a sound Rockwell, unless you really a fan some people would go who you're talking about. You'd be like De De De Deira, Pacino, you know, whatever, all these names. Marlon Brando, you wouldn't go Sam Rockwell, which I think is actually not on. I think he is up there.

Yeah, I would agree. You know, consistency, you know. Yeah, he's a great. So I think some of the biggest stars you meet are the nicest, to be honest with you. They're just comfortable with who they are. They're content, they're proud. You know, they haven't got much to prove.

And they've got no money worries. Yeah. Well, that helps. Do you know what I mean? That does help. Probably that helps. I know money doesn't buy your happiness, but I think it takes away a lot of worries.

Well, I think I can't remember the quote now, but it was like, you know, oh, these people are so nice. These people are so nice. It would be like, yeah, if I had that much money, I'd be that nice. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. This episode is sponsored by TV licensing.

A TV license covers you to watch over 400 TV channels and everything on BBC. I play out. To find out more, go to tv.orgor.org. Brozy, what we're watching? Celebrity trail. Celebrity traders. It's back.

Yes. Everyone's very excited about it. Yes. It's all over socials at the minute. We know who's in. Incredible lineup. Incredible lineup. I genuinely, I don't know anything that's going to happen.

There's been no... Well, done to those celebrities, by the way. Even the celebrity that you were at the end of my fringe with and asked her nonstop to tell you and never did. She told me nothing. Yeah. Well done, Joanne. She absolutely did not.

She didn't let anything go. Still angry about it. Although, no, I did ask hello. I actually said to her I don't want to know, but she was not forthcoming with the information. I think it's killed her a little bit. I'm not going to lie. But it would kill me. Imagine.

Imagine just like, no, you can't say anything. But there's been no leaks. I know nothing. It's going to be great. The lineup is absolutely ridiculous. I mean, Trayor's absolutely one of the best shows on tell you. I mean, just a list of few of the people, Bella Ramsey, James Blunt, Jerry Hall, Joe Lysett, Leanne Pinnick, Maya Jama, Michael Sheen, Miranda Hart, Richard E. Grant, Rob Beck, Ramesh, the list goes on.

Wild. Madness. How do they get all them, people? It's good show, isn't it? Good show and they want to be part of it. I'm going to let you do this next round because it's written by your two favourite writers in the world. In the whole world ever, yeah. So The Reluctant Vampire on BBC, all episodes are dropping on IP player. Cast is just phenomenal. We've got Lenny Rush, we've got Sean Clifford, we've got Tom Davis, we've got Joe Wilkinson.

The list goes on phenomenal cast. Really good cast. Obviously, the main... For me, the main pull, written by Neil Gibbons and Rob Gibbons, who write all of the Alan Partridge stuff, all of the audio books that I listen to with Alan Partridge stuff, just incredibly, incredibly great, funny writers. I'm really looking forward to binging this.

Yeah, right on my street. And honestly, love vampires as well. You know, never met one, but, you know, big fan. Oh, and it's nearly Halloween. Perfect. Perfect. Get in the mood. Now, Rosie, a show that you're going to enjoy and not even just enjoy it.

I think you genuinely missed your call and he had to be part of. Apocalypse on Channel 4. Oh, yes. Because you genuinely believe that the world has ended with every single bit of news you see. So this would be right up your street.

I didn't want to depress people in this part of the thing. But yeah, so what they've done is they've just got members of the public together and they've put them in an apocalyptic setting. Yeah. And the clip that I just saw recently

was they were starting to steal food from each other. Fantastic. Which is exactly the way it would go. That's absolutely what would happen. Yeah. You know, only the baddies survive. We've always said that.

Yeah. Only the worst people ever survive in anything that out. But this is, you know, hopefully they're not the worst people. Hopefully, we're not the worst people. Well, we'll have no, we'll wait and see because I'm telling you right now, I think the baddies will survive of this program. So it is a survival reality series. Two groups test their survival skills in an abandoned town with no electricity,

no running water or food. 14 contestants taken part. They've got to survive 28 days. That started 13th of September. is expected to run every Sunday for seven episodes. How long 20? That's a long time. Yeah.

Without any electricity, no water or nothing. Honestly, I'm just jealous of them because they'll just have a lovely social media break. They will, but we've done these kind of TV programmes before, right? And genuinely, they're really strict. Yeah. You know how sometimes you watch a programme and you think, oh, they'll be letting them, they won't.

They will be fully doing that. They're walking off stage and off screen and having a Mars bar. No chance. No chance. No chance. Ooh. So enjoy all of that viewing. this October. And remember, a TV license covers you to watch over 400 TV channels and everything on BBC IPlay. To find out more, go to tvl.com.com. Our fantasy commission says for him it's all about the

friendships. Cute, Kevin, but I disagree. Like with Bet365. I get paid the second my team goes up big with early payout and can cash out at any time before the game ends. No hard feelings, Kevin. Just faster payouts from Bet365. The home of winning early. Must be 19 and older. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you were someone you know is concerns about gambling,

visit connectsontario.ca. Or call 1-866-5-3-1-2,600. Terms and conditions apply. Going on vacation? We're here for it. With kids who turned the backseat into a courtroom drama over whose tablet is louder, whose charger is faster,

and while watching the same cartoon for the hundredth time is a human right? Yep, we totally have vehicles to handle that. Because whether it's a road trip or a business trip, where your flight's delayed, your phone's at 2% and your dinner is whatever is open. Yeah. Here for that too. Enterprise. We're here for it.

Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadu, ba. I was talking about, I'm not going to say names, but I was talking about, we were talking about nepotism, right? I'm a work class boy. You know, I'm self-made, whatever. But, like, we were talking about, like, let's say a musician, right, who comes from money. And we know that nepotism only gets you to a certain point. Like, you know, once you're in the door, it's like, okay, what you got? You have to be talented.

You have to be talented. Right? So then you're like, okay, first, so like a musician who's clearly a nepo baby, right? But here's the difference. So he might be very, very talented or she might, whoever this person is, right? But what they didn't experience is you see when that come up was happening, they didn't have the safety net of being like, I can just experiment and learn my craft. Yeah.

They didn't have that. Like normal people, they'll be like, yeah, I'm talented. I get that. I've also got fucking bills to pay And I've got this debt and I've got that loan And I've got this and this is happening And I'm from a world where all me me're at school You want to be a fucking watch?

Yes. Yeah. Exactly. So that's where I think the nepotism gives you the advantage. It's great to have the talent. Yeah. But like to not have any of that risk. Yeah.

There's no risk. You know like we all took risks right when you're like I dropped out at uni. Yeah. I quit my job. It's like you can you want to do this for real now. What if you fail? Okay.

Well, I'll tell you if I fail. like the kind of the line is very thin isn't it you could just dip and go yeah oh fuck like like I'm homeless yeah like no no I'm kicked out I can't afford my rent like you could say that about anyone who's got rich parents I guess couldn't you I think you know the nepotism thing that I sometimes struggle with that because like there is people slag them off so much like children who are now fay actors and whatever but I sometimes think it actually in a way it's harder for them because they do they do have to prove themselves a little bit more more and I don't think

they actually get as far because they have to be good and I've watched like so Stranger Things is gosh what's her name Uma Thurman and you and what's Ethan Hawke their daughter

I never knew I haven't seen the new ones but yeah She's in Stranger Things Have you seen the ones where they're working The work in the air She's Robin The work in ice cream place I've only seen the first series

Oh right well she's quite big In the last few series But I didn't know that that was her parents And I genuinely I thought she was She's great which is really good. And then you find out. And then your brain kind of goes to like,

well, actually, that was her whole world run up. Of course. So it kind of... You better be good. It makes sense, doesn't it? But here's the question. She better than her mom? I mean, is she better than Uma Thurman in pop fiction? When the remake...

Is she better than Uma Thurman and Kill Bill? When the remake Kill Bill, we'll find out. You know what I'm saying? But it's like, imagine being like Ronaldo's son. Or messy son. What's the point? Yeah. And you want to be a football.

And you want to be a footballer? What's the point? Why? So you're right. Yeah, no, you're both right. I remember then you'd be like, okay, well, Erling Harland, he's better than his dad. But that's rare. Yeah.

That is actually insane. That is rare, isn't it? Yeah. But his dad wasn't like, like that level was. His dad got his career ended by Roy Keen. Yeah. You know what? Roy Keen, like, he saw Erling Holland's dad.

Dirty tackle, dirty tackled. Ernie Holland's dad dirty tackled Roy Keen and then literally it was like Annette, it was the following season or something. It was ages later. Roy King got his revoked. Fucking knew he was going to get sent off. He literally jumps into him like a. It's rugby, like it's karate.

Yeah. And Andy's career, End his career. And now, Ehrlich Holland, his son is now one of the best players in the world. That is crazy now.

That is crazy. But I think he's, that's an exception. Exception to the rule. Yes. That is right. Because normally it's the dads who are, do you know what I mean?

Do they say it skipsy generation? Like the talent of the school, do they say that? I was watching something recently and who I thought was Lawrence Fishburn popped up in it. It's his fucking son. I looked and I went,

Lawrence Fishburn hasn't aged a day. He's getting fucking younger. It's his son. It's his son. It was in something recently. Lawrence Fishburn Morphus.

Yeah, of course I do. He's the double of Lawrence Fishburn when he was in Boys in the Hood. Wow. Well, I would have to say this and I'm not just dropping there. Again, I'm talking about A-lister. You've ever done letters live?

You know, you read letters in Royal Albert Hall. It's a lovely, like, charry event. It's great. They get all these celebrities to do it. Sounds like, nift to the concept of what you're going to do minute when you read a letter from us. Yeah, a little bit.

But last time I was there. Seeing a court, motherfuckers. But you can basically, you know, it's ridiculous. Like, you know, Olivia Coleman. Benedict Cumberbatch and nobody puts it on and they do it. They read all these amazing real life letters. Gorgeous. From all over the, from every time period, all kinds of really fun thing.

I've done it a few times. Last time I did it was like a month ago and Lawrence Fishbellon was there. And I was like fan-boying out. But again, A-lister. It also looks so young. Yeah. Like I was young as soon. I was freaked out.

But honestly, we were like that. And I remember the whole day I was like, I was like really nervous. I was like saying to Olivia Coleman. I was like, God, I really want to speak to the Lord, but I don't know what to say. I mean, just drop another line there. And he had a cocktail and it was pink and I had a pink cocktail. And I went, I went, same pink. And he went, yeah.

And then, yeah, but then I was joking about it and I was like, what's my inn? But by the end of the night, best mates. Really? And again, A list, absolutely gorgeous. Gorgeous. God, he's really, I love Lawrence Fishman. Yeah, boys in the hood. And I'm a big hip-hop guy and he's,

and he's like, you know, he's from New York and we were talking about all this old school 90s hip-hop stuff and he was just amazing. Here's a question. I'm sorry, Rosie, I'm totally all right. If you're being hip-hop. No, listen, hey, we'll talk about whatever we're bloody what. So I'm bloody podcast. Have you heard Tom Hardy's new hip-hop album?

Yeah, it's pretty good. It's unbelievable. This, that blew my mind. I'm blown away by it. The only thing I would say is that he is good, but he does rap in an American accent. Yes. Which is what I used to do when I was 12.

Right, okay. Yes. I thought I was Snoop Dog So that's a bit like But where does he live now? I guarantee he's probably in America He's probably He might have been in America

More than he's been here That's true He's got a Jordy wife though, aren't he? Has he? Has he? He's got a Jordy wife I'm sure he's going to join She's from North East

Yeah Shua. Someone fuck check that I love Fuck check I like that way he said that As well Someone fuck check that

I love the Jordie accent Do you really? I just love Jordie's I love the culture. No, no. But you're going quite a lot to watch a much. Yeah, I try and go as much as I can. And I just love them.

I love them. Do you know, we still live there. We've never left because I genuinely love where we live, don't we? Yeah, yeah. Love the people there. But you know when it's your town, you think. Yeah, yeah. But then everybody says that we're all lovely, so I'm buzzing.

You are. Oh, that's so nice. You're a lovely bunch of people. I feel very accepted whenever I go out there. Oh, get in. Is any Jordan's in the reluctant vampire? Ross Noble! Oh my God!

Oh! Ross is in it. Ross nobles in the reluctant man but hang on when is the last time Ross lived in the north-east. Ross lived all over the place. Ross lived in Australia Oh he's in Australia. Yeah so you can't even have a golden for moving south. He moved well He went underneath the most southern. Yeah he went under the

world. Yeah. Love Ross. Yeah, he's a legend. But yeah, okay so me and Ross. There is. One adopted Jordan and one proper Jordy. One Australian Jordy. Wait, Lenny. How's Lenny? Tell them myself hello. You know, honestly, I think, you know, I say this to, I said this on when I was doing an interview other day. He, the kid's just a project.

Honestly, he, he is unbelievable. And the first day I met him, he kind of came up to me in rehearsals. And he was like, hey, man, I'm big fan. And then he started picking my brain on comedy. Wow. I'm talking about people just nothing and mockumentaries and the office and spinels happen. And I'm like, he's 16. Yeah.

He's already one a bastard. Yeah, yeah. And you're like, you know. I think he's 17 now. But, you know, yeah. I think when I met him, he was 16, but he's just such a smart kid. And honestly, his parents are like,

you just know he's been raised so well. Yeah, well, I've done children need with him a couple of times. Right. He's just a lovely kid. I just absolutely love him. I wish him all. Every time he's, I still say him as 13.

Every time he comes up in something. He's in new slow horses. He's obviously a reluctant vampire. He's got a Harry Potter gig as well. Hey? Oh, he's in the new? Oh my God, the series? Yeah.

Wow. Who's he playing in that? I've never seen Harry Potter, but he's playing... Stop. Why? I've never seen a single Harry Potter movie. I'll tell you why. It's the same reason why I've never seen Star Wars.

Sorry. Sorry, just please, just hear me out. I will leave after this if you want me to. I bet you could tell you, all the Lidie-Sherr has three kicks, but he hasn't seen Star Wars. Honestly. How did he get to life? So Star Wars.

I'm revoking your Jordy status. Okay, I'm sorry, but just hear me out. Yes, okay, come on. So the thing with Star Wars is that I try. tried to get into it at uni and I met this I had this really annoying friend who was like you can't watch it in that way I was like where do I start and I was trying to start from the beginning no that be stupid you can't start from the beginning you got to start with the revenge of this and they go back here and they go forward it and I was like you know what forget it I'm not fucking

watching it so much effort it's kind of like you know when people tell you to watch a series and they're like it gets really good by series three oh series three what do you've got no time for that I've got a five-month-old baby. I haven't got no time. Get it in the bin. Shit. I can't even have a shit. First six episodes are a slow burn.

Yeah. Well, fucking go and tell the person who made it that he's failed. Make a good pilot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Make the pilot the thing that's good. Yeah. That's normally how you get people. Breaking bad.

Straight in. Straight in. Slapro. Straight in. Yeah. You know. Just mentioned your two favorite programs. Well, no.

You've gone back. You've gone back. But no, so that's the thing with Star Wars. It just became. And I will, but I know I'll love it because I love stuff like June. And I know it's basically the same thing It's an epic saga About good and evil when

Star Wars a little bit more light heart A bit more tongue and cheek Is it? Yeah you've got yeah You know Ewoks The Little Bears They were in Return the Jedi

They were like yeah Get children It's very dated But like get children involved And then episode one You had Jar Jar Jor Binks Who was a big sort He was a gungan

He'd like a big sort of like Frog kind of character For want of a better phrase But a bit more comedy Not comedy But a little bit Comic relief Lighthouse.

June's dark. So Chris, how would, where should I start then in terms of, let's see if he loses me. There's two ways. There's two ways to start.

Okay, okay. And I would say it's completely dealer's choice. Really? Eversonically, yeah, in my opinion. My friend was definitely not saying that.

He was telling me there's only this way to do it. No, I would personally say it's deal as choice because I have this would be kids. So you go episodically or you go release dates. So you can go episode four,

five, six, then one, two, three. Then. So that's it. So if you look at it as trilogies. Okay. Four, five and six came out first. Star Wars, A New Hope.

Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, and then, I've lost you already, then return to the Jedi. Then it went back, episode one, The Phantom Menace, then Attack of the Clones, then Revenge of the Sith, I think, was the third one. If you want to have a nice night tonight because we're away from the kids.

Yeah. Stop talking about Star Wars. And just let's stop. But do you know what I mean, though? Watch you from when it came. He came out like everybody else. So you know when he was saying that? It made complete sense to him.

But when you saw, I felt like I was having a stroke. Yeah. Like honestly, I felt like my chest getting tight. And I thought I was going to shit myself and die. And that's why I haven't seen Star Wars. I can't,

you know what it is as I was seeing it. It's hard with four and five and six. Then you go back to the perimeter. It's too much for me. But I'm also terrible with numbers. So I'm like, I've got that thing with dyslexia with numbers. What's it called?

Discalculus. Discalculus. I think I've got it as well. Numbers makes me like I still have got a math GC. Fuck me. I re-took it and failed in college. So numbers make me nervous. Numbers give me anxiety.

I only went up to six. But it was enough to put us off. We've got discalculus. It's just, yeah, the four, five, six. But did you do well at English? Yeah. Yeah, what the fuck? Words I love.

I did. I love words. All right, all right. O-N-E. T-W. Oh, now I get it. And then the Harry Potter thing is just, you know, I'm, I just think trans people are fine.

That's why I've never seen Harry Potter. I think they're fine, let them crack on. Well, you agree. Well, I'll be honest with you, that kind of did ruin it a little bit for me. Because, like, let's say, like, I grew up watching Father Ted and IT crap. Loved it. Yeah. Let's say I never watched it, and then I only knew that that guy wrote these things.

I wouldn't watch it because I'd be like, you're a prick. I'd be like, you're a nasty man. Because I haven't seen Harry Potter. It's put me off a little bit. I can totally say where you come from, but also. It is good. I know. And but then it's like the whole argument of separate the art from the artist, right?

I love Gary Glitter songs. I'm joking. You know what it is though? No, you know what it is? Okay, like JK Ratt, that's a harder one to do. Or like, you know, like a Woody Allen or a Michael like geniuses, right? And you're like, but there are, it's so incredible. But then you're like, oh, but they're wrong.

But it's easier when it's like someone like Gary Glitter, who's like one goodish song. Or like R. Kelly, you're like, well, he had one banger. I can let that go. But listen, you want to be a my gang. you watch Harry Potter, right? That's what I'm saying you're right now. You're older.

You can't get on with it. Rolf. Oh, Rolf. Same thing with Rolf. Like easy. You're like, fine, I won't listen to any of that. I know. Yeah.

What did you do? Didgerid do? Didgerid do? The wobble board, right? Look, what are? Didgerie don't? I just watched it at the weekend. So I've talked about it in every single episode.

Have you? Have you? Have you not seen the documentary? No, sorry. When your child, when your son is old enough, Christmas. Apel? Habel.

Alain. Let's call him Alan. When Alan is old enough. Alan. Alan. We'll watch. You can, I'll just invite myself there.

We'll all go around your house. No, at Christmas you can watch the Harry Potter. They're amazing Christmas movies when you kids are younger. It's like the premise of Harry Potter's kind of reminded me of Matilda. Like, you know, the bullied kid in the beginning.

And then they have this magic about them. They're incredible. It's a great message as well. Isn't it sad? Isn't like fucking, just just fucking ruined? I've stopped saying people are nice. So I don't ask me, how was I said?

I was here, at the point of me making this statement, he was a nice guy. I'd date stamp them. No, I don't. But imagine, I'm fucking terrified. I know. I was, oh, yeah, and then somebody comes out about that. You can't even see it.

You can't recommend anything to anyone anymore. The only person I hope is still clean is Sir David Attenborough. What did you say? No, I just said, come on. Oh, I thought you said, Mom. He said your mom. She just doesn't know, and she's fucked. Yeah, no, she's fucked.

Habil. Habil. Habil. And she puts the phleg in it. Habil. Habil. I'm like, it's able, mom. It's able.

Habil. I'm like wiping the spit off. Like a Scouse Arab. Imagine that. Scouts Arab. A lot of flam. That's so funny. That's a lot of flam.

A scouse Arab. Babadoo, babo do. Babadoo. Our fantasy commission says, For him, it's all about the friendships. Cute, Kevin. But I disagree. Like with Bet365.

I get paid the second my team goes up big with early payout and can cash out at any time before the game ends. No hard feelings, Kevin. Just faster payouts from Bet365. The home of winning early. Must be 19 and older. Ontario only. Please play responsibly.

If you were someone you know is concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca. Or call 1866-5-3-1-2600. Terms and conditions apply. Oh, yeah. David Atmer is the one who everyone... I just hope... God, come on.

Please let him... He's good though, right? I think we're fine. I think we're safe. I think we're safe. Because I think we'll see. And I know he will never die, but if he does die, because he won't die. But if he does, God to bid. He will be like, he'll be on our 50 pound note.

Like, he should be. I hope so. I hope so. Because he's like, I think he's one of the most important, like, men to have ever lived. Like, if you think about what... In this, I mean, how old is he's 100? He's 100. More important than Alan Shearer.

But should I tell you why? Because think about it. Let's say everyone's work was wiped out of this world. Star Wars gone. Harry Potter got. Alan Shira highlights gone. And we only had the work of David Attenborough left for the next whatever alien people came and said, what is this world about? That would be enough to like restart.

Do you know what I mean? It'll be like, oh, you've got the wildlife. He is God. Well, in a way. He might be God. You know, like, his work is that. you know there's something because I watched him as a kid when I hear his voice

there's something so nostalgic about it and it's so night even just hearing just on anything and I get this warm feeling through my body of just being a kid and in my house and watching and every generation like our grandparents like even our maybe our great great

he's the only person in the world ever to have made a show in every single format of television every format really yeah it's like From the very start. From when it started. Yeah, from radio all the way to every format. And you know, he was also a commissioner at the BBC.

He commissioned like Monty Python. Yeah, people don't know about this about this guy. He was a big comedy commissioner for the BBC. He's responsible for some of the greatest comedies as well. I mean, the day I found out that his brother was in Jurassic Park. Yeah. Oh, my God. Blue my God.

I met him once. When I was working my normal job in Chiswick in this business part, he came, because he lives in Richmond or Q and he came into a little talk at work and I remember I put my hand up and I asked the question and so around my me and my boys we called him D-Bro right as a little nickname back in the day where we used to like smoke weed watch a show we'd like put some D-brough on because it was soothing and it's perfect like you know and we'll watch it and be like why did the how did the birds know where to go bro yeah they just know you're like stone a shit you know like fuck mad bro um

And I put my hand up really nervous and I went, can I just ask you quick? I go, me and my friends, we watch a show and we call you D bro. Do you mind if I call you? And he went, I quite like that name actually. And I was like, oh, wow. Adopt me, man. That's amazing.

I think he's unbelievable. I think he's one of the greatest humest who've ever lived. Honestly, I think he's that. For your sake, I really go. I know what's said. His childhood hero is Alan Shea. his hero's Alan Shira. Can we fucking change this?

He's not said anything about Alan Shira. He's banged on about Debrough nonstop. Debrough. I do love Debrough. Yeah, I hope. Let's just hope he's clean. He must be, come on. We can't even say that.

Terrible. God, what... Oh, God, it makes me so fucking sad. It makes me so sad. This one. Always bloke's you now. How does it feel? It's horrible, isn't it?

It's always a bloat. I'm like, what the... Come on, man. Honestly. Not all he is. And I've got two sons, so I've... Honestly, big, big Gilly and Maxwell fan. just because for a moment she levelled the playing field

for a fucking moment. You know what's so sad about even that? Is that she's the only one who's been arrested. Yeah, no. And all these disgusting men are responsible for so much shit. She's still a scumbag. Yeah, but she's the only one in prison. The only one in prison.

The woman. Men are trash. Yeah, they've even trashed her as well. Yeah. Go on mighty. No, I've got a theory. I've got a big... Just when time began,

I think men were just so like, oh my God. women can have children and they're just so much, actually so much more powerful than us. We've got to keep them down. Genuinely, through, throughout the judge. Yeah, we've got to keep them down because actually they could just stick us in a cupboard, wank us off.

They don't need us. We don't need. Not even that anymore. Can I volunteer for the cupboard and the wanking enough? Yeah, that sounds. I'll be alright for that. Yeah, I'll do that. Can I just do that?

Well, Fijis and keep us alive because that's our mother of nature. Can I get through the wall of the cupboard? Can I get one of them, you know, the bottles that hamsters have got where he just lick the ball bearing. You lick the ball bearing and a little bit of watercups too. What do you want in? You got to stay hydrated

if you get you'd be wanked off. Put some orange lucid in that and then just just whacks off. The lion, the wank and the wank in the wardrobe.

Great work. Get it? Come on. Absolutely great work. So good. Deeper would be proud of that. The laughter stopped because the admiration

took over. I know. Yeah. Very good. It's good visual though with the Lucasaid coming in. Thank you very much.

That's my belief and I'm sticking by it. You've got a story for us by the way. Thank you so much. want to be rude here. Oh my carth muscles are fantastic. Yeah, my car.

The thing is, this is the only bit of muscle in my whole body and it's because it's got to carry all this girth. Calf are genetic. I walk a lot. I was good that you can tell. Yeah, I've read a thing recently. Yeah, but I've read a thing recently, yeah,

but yes, I would walk as much as in my mind would never look that good because my dad's, a little pussy. It skips a generation, just like talented. No, I don't want to be, got good, cars you've got. And actually, I was, You know, Joy Linton.

You know Joel Linton? Joe Linton, a Newcastle player. Yeah, Joe Linton. So his calves are insane. Yeah. And I used to have a Newcastle football podcast called the Adopted Jordies. I only did 10 episodes and I quit because I always start things and then don't go forward

of it. But I interviewed Eddie Howe. And I went to the Newcastle training ground and I didn't like it because of that very reason I told you about seeing behind the Kern. Yeah. And it made me feel a bit icky. It gave me the ick. But for myself because I was like, oh, you're such a, like you're just your

like you're begging it. I'm a Newcastle, love me. And I saw Joel inton, and I saw his calves. And I wanted to have a calf off with him. And that was going to be part of a segment of the podcast, but I pussyed out, because here's what fucking he was. It's like, mine are not that, I'm just fat.

It's just girl. Literally, if you can see them. Only a bit of muscle on my whole body. Can I just, can I just anyone, I don't know how many people listening or watch and spotted it, but maybe skip back just 40 or 50 seconds. And Rosie literally said, like the fucking wolf from Red Riding Hood.

what good calves you have. What good calves you have. You literally phrased it in those exact words. Like a nurse story. I don't want to be pervy though because I think it can work both ways. If you're not allowed to perv on us, we're not allowed to perv on you. You know, that is the admiration of a man's calf. That's the best thing that you could say to me because I do love my calves.

And I even say to my wife, because she used to fancy Jack Greelish, who also has massive cards. Oh my God. It's thighs. Yeah. And I used to be like, babe, you've got Jack Greenish at home. You know? I'll just do that to my wife. wife and I just go up so I go look at that and she'll go wow and I'd be like musly in it

yeah nice because the only bit of my body I like so it's like you definitely well I'm glad I've noticed thank you very much you know men no well they are trash but also men we never forget a compliment nor we don't because like you know women are beautiful they're these beautiful things creatures and you know you get loads of compliments rightly so I honestly I could probably remember every compliment I'll remember that forever no honestly it's just me I'm just It doesn't have to come from a woman. I remember a man came up to me once. I was in Oslo and I was doing a film

and I had this really weird mustache. I looked like a nonce, right? And I just looked like a dodgy weird guy and I was really self-conscious because I was like, you know, I was in character for a film and I didn't like going out. I looked so weird.

I looked like the Pringles man. Right. And my wife was like, you look fine. A guy came up to me and he was like, hey man, really loves your style man. And I was like, first I thought he was taking the piss but he was really being sincere. And he was like, you're rocking it, bro.

And I was like, Oh, thank you, bro. And it made my, and I'll never forget that. I think genuine real compliments. That's why I try and do it. If I genuinely really like something that someone's wearing or if I think some, I will tell them because I think, you know what? Give people their flowers while they can still smell them.

I think there's a fly right there talking about smelling. Wow, you really killed that. You really killed that at the end by waft on a fly away. That was such a lovely thing. I know what I do. It's about to go right. Can I tell you a quick story about that? So my little sister, she's 18 now.

and her dad is not around so I've done a lot of the dad stuff with her and I got my training, dad training by being around with her. When she was younger, she was really shy, she used to get bullied in school and very sensitive girl.

She's like a lot better now. But she used to do this thing where like, we'd be out and I'm like you. I'd go up to someone and I'll be like, hey man, I really like those trainers. And then she used to be a little bit like, oh my God,

that's so embarrassing. Stop it, right? But I told her, look, I said if the, if the compliment is sincere, it's got to be sincere. It's got to be sincere. It can make someone's day. And I remember she she started doing more

I remember this girl came in And she had this amazing jacket on But she had a bit of a screw face When she came in like that She was like and I went up to it And I went your jacket's amazing I had this hand sewn embroidery on it And her face just completely changed

Oh my God From that horrible kind of frown She had completely light And then my sister saw that And she went My sister was probably around 9 or 10 at this point And she came up to me one day And she went she went she calls me Bai Jan

Which means brother in my life She went by Jan She goes you know that thing you do Or you go up And you speak to people when you say compliments. And I was like, yeah. She was like, I want to do that too.

She was like, I'm just a bit shy. She's like, so I'm going to write people notes and just hand them notes if I, if I like something they've got on. And I'm like, that's cute. And then we're in McDonald's a little bit later on. And she goes up to this girl and she gives her a little note

and she went like her bag. And the girl, you know, she comes back and runs and sits on the table. And the girl picks up the note and it says, I like your bag. She turns around, she sees me. And she's like, what the fuck? And I'm like, no, no, no.

Completely backfying. She got her bag and just left. And I was like, oh my God, I literally looked like a rapist. Thank you. Just imagine Tony Rans. He's a fat, bald guy. I like you. Nice, man.

Oh, no. You're right, because Joel Wicks, I was going to see before. Joe Wicks, the last time we did all these episodes, Joe Wicks told me that I looked lean. He literally was like, broie looking lean. Right. I was honest, mate, I've had an erection ever said. You know how fast the cupboard wanks have been since he said that.

Seconds. Seconds. Brilliant. It's nice. It is very nice. It is nice. Right. Should I read this?

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Okay. All right. It's this way. Nice bag. Nice bag. I mean, luckily it was nice bag.

Not like nice, nice smile or something. Nice tits. Imagine. What is not his sister's going to write nice tits to someone? What's wrong with you? I'm not my sister. So wrong, wrong, wrong. Sorry.

Nice tits. Okay. Dear Chris and Rosie, please keep. me anonymous. I wanted to share a story from my life as an A&E nurse that I never expected to be part of my job description.

Always good. Love, love the nurse. It's going to be good. A gentleman came into A&E with a foreign body stuck up his bottom. Of course he did. Foreign body. Oh right.

I thought you meant like an actual foreigner. Tilly. Little Alan has gone up there again. Yeah, yeah. Straight up on the ferry. Straight over. Stop the boats right on your ass. Yeah.

Stop the blocks of the ferry with people up there. I was brought in Britain. Slithery, aren't they, those immigrants? Get right up your ass. Okay, a gentleman came into A&E with a foreign body stuck up his bottom. Not foreign.

Yeah, not the reform type of stop the votes foreign body. Up his bottom and was awaiting transfer to another hospital for colorectoral surgery. Collectoral, quick, colorectorectal surgery, sorry.

Colorectal. I didn't want it. Yeah, this is how I want it. wheelhouse. I don't know I correctly there, but this is Colorectal surgery, sorry. Because I was just reading that and it felt like it felt like saying coloured again. I just thought it was being racist again. That's what my mind went.

Colored rectal surgery. Yeah. Well, there was a foreigner there. There's a foreigner up there who got to get the colored rectal. Stop. Get the colored boy out of there now. Holy God. Sorry.

Okay. Colorectal surgery. While I was awaiting to transfer him, he came over to me and said, I'm just going to go home. The situation has resolved itself. Oh my God. I was left wondering exactly what that meant. I went back to his cubicle only to look in the toilet and discover a foreign body floating in there.

What was it? What? It's come out? It's come out. It's floating. It's not a food stuff or anything like that because it would have, it would have disintegrated or started to rot away or whatever. It's a glass bottle. maybe.

Does all food disintegrate though? No hints there, but. Does all food disintegrate, he said? Yeah. I don't want no one. I don't know. Sweet corn, doesn't. Are you throw me off?

It's going on the cob. Is it a corn on the cob? No, it's not quite. I'm just using that as an example. Yeah. This is just coming to us out of nowhere. I don't know why. Is it a chess piece?

No. Okay. Sometimes I slam dunk them out of nowhere. I'll give you a clue. My head looks like one. A wall nose. I can't like it. Sorry, what?

An onion? Close. So think about, yeah, something round and it came out whole. And it is a food item, I will say that. Oh, there's a food item? It is a food item?

It's not far off though. Rosie, we need to stop. This is just a list of insults now. This is just really bad. No, I like it. Keep going. A big sack of shit. A big, like,

a bag filled with shit, maybe. That smells. A bag of rubber. A foreign body filled with shit. Just tell me. Just tell us. Just see, what is it?

Okay, it was a potato. Oh, fuck it. Right. Come on, look at me. All right, don't laugh that much. You're like, God, he was spot on. I would say he looks like him. Look at him.

You can see it. It's a potato. I've got a potato head. So round my head. Okay. Why didn't we say a potato? I don't know. Okay.

Never in my, because you think about that. So that, okay, wait, never in my life did I think that after going to university, getting a degree and doing advanced training, I would find myself trying to fish a potato out of a toilet that had previously been stuck in someone's rectum. Jesus Christ. New potato or baking potato? I don't know. This is Maris piper?

Little Maris Piper. Yeah. Amazing. People put a lot of weird stuff up their thumbs, don't we've heard all of them. We've heard all of them. It's insane. As they say, I think we should start. Every time we do one of these, we should say that thing that someone said on the last one,

which was a doctor said, he doesn't care what you put it up there, just tie a string round it and get it back out, we don't have to waste his time. Yeah, what a waste on the NHS already. Surgery, for fuck's sake. Surgery, not as stressed as this, awesome, there was a potato in there. Thanks for coming, man.

That's the end. That's the end? Yeah, so hopefully everyone will now come and watch on YouTube just to see what your head looks like today. Yeah. See, it actually look like if you're doing it. Head and coughs. I mean, we've done some

head of the house and all stuff. Look at them that. I can't stop looking at them. Honestly. God almighty.

Yeah. Yeah. Get them on only calves. I've got one subscribe already. My wife won't. My wife's not bothered it. I'm there. She goes, wow.

Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you very much. Oh, that was so much fun. Gosh, I'm crying. My regally goalie says he plays for the love of

the game. You gave up six goals last week, Steve. Maybe play to win, huh? Like with Bet365. I get paid the second my team goes up big with early payout and can cash out at any time before the game ends. Come on, Steve. Bet365, the home of winning early. Must be 19 and older, Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you were someone you know is concerns about gambling, visit connectsontario.ca. Or call 1866 5 through 1,2,600. Terms and conditions apply.