Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Please Keep Me Anonymous with Babatunde Aléshé

Episode Date: May 6, 2026

On this week's podcast Chris and Rosie are joined by comedian, podcaster, Dad and Taskmaster alumni, Babatunde Aléshé! As well as discussing the highs and lows of parenting the three bond over turning 40! Babatunde also shares some parenting hacks... onions anyone? They also chat holiday destinations, back stage energy at comedy gigs and why Babatunde started a podcast with two of his best mates. You can listen to Man Like You which features Babatunde, Mo Gilligan and Eddie Kadi wherever you get your podcasts. For updates on Babatunde's live dates visit babatundealeshe.com If you want to get involved and have your stories and voice notes included on the podcast then get in touch! 📧: [e-mail] 📱: 07874 406650 You can watch the podcast on the Shagged Married Annoyed YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@shagged.married.annoyed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by FedEx. These days, the Power Move isn't having a big metallic credit card to drop on the check at a corporate lunch. The real Power Move is leveling up your business with FedEx intelligence and accessing one of the biggest data networks powered by one of the biggest delivery networks. Level up your business with FedEx, the new Power Move. Oh, you are listening and watching, please keep me anonymous, part of the Shagmurid Innoid. Oh my God, you've got me doing it now. Horrendous. The Shag Marid Inoid Extended Universe.

And this week we are joined by Babatundi Alessi, who was, what a funny, lovely man. I've never met him. We all found out that we were all August babies, and I think you'll find our reaction was absolutely called for. Ridiculous. Pathetic. Yeah, it was great. He's on promoting his podcast that he does with. Mo Gilligan and Eddie Caddy,

which is man like you. Do you know we're now going to have to get Eddie on though? Because we've had more and we've had Babbitundi. But then behind closed doors, we're going to have to pick our favourite. I don't think they're going to like that. But this is the world,

in it. Look forward to that. Listen, well, you know, but now Eddie knows that that's going to be the competition. He's going to bring his A game, which is slightly, we're going to have to take that into account. Look, we'll talk about this after.

We'll talk about it after. You want to catch him. You can also say Babatundi on Stupid Central on Comedy Central. And he was actually, he was recently on Beigoff. and that'll be available on ketchup. Yeah. You're watching it in the bath.

I watched it in the bath and then I met him. What about his tour? His tour. That is only in the Netherlands, apparently. So if you're listening in the Netherlands, he's already done all these English dates. High expectations, babatundialshay.com. He might add some new dates in the future on the next year.

Maybe just join his mail in us anyway. He's a funny fella. Yeah, enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy. We had a fight about the jingle, jing-go. We couldn't set along a jingle. Jingle.

It's the jingo Jingo We hope you like the jingo Jinnu-da-do-doo-bado-d-d-d-bado-ba-doo-ba-doo-dha Jingo! How's your morning been? It's been good. I've not had anything to eat

so you might hear my belly rumble, you know? Do you want a quasson or something? Well, that'll be fucking good podcast. No, but... He's just scrouting on a fucking clas-on all the whole time. You totally could have had something to eat or got a little pots of fruit and everything. Honestly, to God, I'm good.

Is sure? Yeah. And quasson is, that's butter. so I'm lacto, so this would be a different type of a podcast. Oh my God. I'll be like, excuse me for just a second. At least don't shit yourself on the podcast. I was going to offer you yogurt.

Yonk is the same as well. Oh my God, we've only exclusively got things that will make you shit your pants. They've been in the jungle all over again. That's hilarious. But there's no judgment here. No judgment. No, no. Don't worry about it.

I don't care. I'm just getting. This is the. This was fourth person in here. Could we get an extra mic on his stomach? So how's your morning being? What's this morning look like for you? Oh my gosh.

I woke up just, well, my alarm woke me up. Hang on. You got two kids. And your alarm's waking you open. No, my children. So they went to bed late last night. We allowed them to stay up, watch a movie, because we were stuck.

We wanted to go out so badly and just go for a walk. Nice. And we never ended up doing that. So we were just like, look, let's just, you know, let them have a movie night. You know, let them watch a film. They've gone to bed late. And so this morning, they are just, they were out. Oh, nice.

My son was out. And I was like, yes. Because he always comes into my room and starts whispering in my air, like, because I hide the remote from him. Because so. Right, okay. Hang on. Right. My son's got this annoying habit where he wants to be the first person with the remote to watch TV.

because he hogs the TV. Yeah. Yeah. No, our son does the same. Our son takes it to the toilet with him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, our youngest takes it to the toilet. He takes it to the toilet.

So no one change the channel. They fight, the brothers fight between them. I swear he got, he takes him to the toilet. Yeah, you got the two boys. We got two boys. Walk around the house with it. Literally walks on the house in the morning. What are you doing?

Because he knows the older one will change a channel. It's annoying though. It's ridiculous. And my son will normally wake up, like, early, like, crack a door and just go downstairs and do that. So I've been hiding in the remote now for like, I want to say like a month now so he's gotten used to that

so he doesn't wake up early yeah so when I normally when I hide the remote he will come into my room and he'll be like dad I've read my books I've done a puzzle I've done like my Legos

and he's just talking talking I remember once I was sleeping and I could just hear this voice and I was like what the hell like let me sleep like please yeah

But there's no build-up. If you're not noticed that with kids, there's no build-up. They open their eyes and back, downstairs, it's got, bob-bum. There's no like, oh, here's a second roll about. It's open their eyes. We're going downstairs this second, 10 seconds ago.

We're going downstairs 10 seconds ago, or you're the worst. And they don't watch stuff like, like, you know, something calming to kind of like ease them into the day. My son is obsessed with Dragon Ball Z. And it's straight onto like high intense fighting. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I'm just like, dude, give yourself like a moment to reflect. Meditate. Do you know what I tried? I tried. I don't even know if you know about this. I don't think you are, yeah, you are away. Right. And sometimes when Chris is away, I try all these things because I just,

because it's just on me and I'm like trying to be a better parent. So I get a bit sloppy when he's around. And then, so I try to. Should be the other way around, but fair enough. Yeah, I know, isn't that mad? Yeah. I get a bit sloppy when you're home because I think there's not as much. pressure. But anyway, I tried for a few days to get the kids to go outside first thing in the

morning and stand on the grass barefoot. Oh, earthing. Because have you heard? Earthen. Because I read about it. I saw an Instagram video about everything, isn't it? Um, nah, did not, they absolutely don't want to live that life. They want none of it. Like when you, when you stand on the grass barefoot, you do feel some type of, you feel satin. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I loved it. I loved it. I was like, this is. We did it across. We did it. couple of days. I do remember this. We did it for a couple of days.

And then I was like, it was like winter. I'm like, I'm like, I'm going on a fucking go on. It's like, it's dark. It's two degrees. I live in the north. Yeah. I'm standing outside on the grass. Yeah, but the kids, this is disgusting, right?

But our children, and it's really upsetting. And I think it's because they're boys more so. They will, instead of going to the toilet, they will sometimes just go outside for a piss. Yeah. Oh, no, that would get on my absolute nerves. If I saw my son doing that, I'd be like, if you don't get into this house right now. It's awesome.

They just walk outside. They just walk outside. Sometimes they walk past the toilet to walk outside to piss outside. What is that? But what is that though? Like, why? I don't know. That boys are strange.

My son, he's got an onsuit, but he goes downstairs to take a shit. And I'm like, you've got the... That's clever. That's very clever. He's not...

He doesn't want to stink. He's too, bro. No, he doesn't want to stink his room. He's very clever. It's like, there's a window. You got air freshen. I'm hooked you up. How old is he?

My son's nine. Nine, yeah. It's going to be 10 in August. Nice. In the notes, right, I've been wanting, right, it says that you once strapped onions to your children's feet to make them feel better. Yeah. So our friend from Canada, she came over and she was just like,

you've got to try this new thing. It's when your children have a cold, just put onions under their foot and cling film it to their foot. and then put the socks over and then that should drive the code away because you've got these, you've got the most paws in your foot. And so the onion scent juice,

I don't know what happens, but something from there. You very much went in blind with this. You really trust this woman. Yeah, we were like, yeah, okay. She'd love standing on the garden on the grass barefoot. Yeah.

I can see her. I can see what she looks like. And so when we went to Barbados for Christmas, we did it. And, I mean, we both were convinced that it worked because they both had some really bad coughs that time. And we did it. And then they stopped coughing.

Yeah. I've heard about it before. No. I've heard about it before. I've heard as well, like you're cutting on you and you just leave it like on your bench. Yeah. And that can get rid of like germs and stuff. I don't know how much like if it's true or if there's a placebo or whatever.

But I mean, for the most part, it kind of, it. Cut the cough in half, I would say that. Right, but is it not coincidence? Did they not just have what was going to be a short bout of coffin and you just happen to do that that time? Most likely, but in our mind. You know what you should have done? This is what you should have done.

You should have done a blind test. You should have given one of them onions on their feet. And the other one just, I don't know. Something else that feels like onion, I don't know, some cold bits of leaf and just strap around and go right and then see which one if one of them keeps coughing, that one, it didn't. me, you know, if they both do or whatever, yeah, like a double, like a blind test.

Yeah. I should have done that to me. Yeah. But we were so convinced, we were like, oh my gosh, what's it, what's it, what's it? What? Was it stinking? Oh, hell yeah. Gee, I don't think our kids would put onions on their feet.

We had to open, like, we had these big doors, so we had to open them. And then I did it, and I was like, this don't work. Oh, you did it as well. I was like, let's try red onions. Yeah, let's get 10 down years. We did that. And I was just like, this is a lie. Let's get medicine.

Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo babadoo babadoo bah. So you are, we've read your notes, we've read the research notes, right? You are a self-confessed tablet parent. Yeah. Yeah? I think we all are. We are. But we don't admit it as openly as you are happy to do, which is interesting.

So how did this come about you, just coming out and tell everyone you're a tablet parent? I am, because you know what it is? Sometimes you do need that moment of rest. Yeah. You know how intense it could be with two children and, you know, they both. begging for your attention or they get bored. What are the ages again? You got nine and?

Nine and two. Oh, shit. That's a big gap. Yeah, we've got five year gap. That's a big gap, man. Seven year gap between our two. And, you know, a little one's a girl. And she's at that stage where she's tearing the house apart.

Yeah. You know, and she's all about following me around the whole house. So I can't do anything. If I go toilet, she's like banging on the door, like, let me in. Like, you know what I'm saying? I'm in the shower, she'll put her stand outside. She'll be like, Daddy's shower. And I'm like, get in the hell out.

Let's go. Get out of here. I'm like, babes, come get your daughter. Your daughter. Come get your daughter now. But no, she follows me around the whole place and like she, all her toys. She'll get all her toys and she will tip it all onto the floor. Like every single last toy she has.

Yeah. Has to be like within reach for her. And it is just annoying, man. It's just like, oh, gosh. So sometimes. I do, with my daughter, I don't really. Yeah. But with my son, it's just like, look, just take the tablet.

Let me put something on the TV for my little girl. Yeah, yeah. And then five minutes. There's your judgment here. Yeah, you know what? Have you seen? You're not as bad as well. I thought it was going to be real.

I thought it was like, oh, strapped on their foot. Onions on their feet tablet on their face. Strat and haven't it like. Like, that's not bad at all. You've said you're in the notes. It was like, you're like, you know, I'm revolution. I don't let them see the real world. That's fine.

I was expecting something fucking like grow. You're like, oh, give me. you give me for five minutes piss, yeah, we're all fucking tablet parents. Have you seen, we haven't spoke about this, have you seen the new government guidelines

for kids watching telly? Oh, God, no. Under five, under five, one hour a day, that's, and I was like, no,

look at his face. One hour or what? One hour a day? Let me try to switch off the TV with my little girl when bobbed the train's on. It's like she is not having that. Wow.

She will lose it. One hour a day is insane. One hour a day. I just thought, Does it not mean one hour off? Does it not mean have a one hour break a day? No, it means one hour a day.

It means one hour a day. I mean, this isn't the law. You don't have to do this. It's just guidelines. But that's crazy. God, we were watching more than one hour a day when there was only four channels. Exactly.

Yeah. Wow. I was a TV TV. I know. So did that. Straight in from school. I remember, right? I had this.

I loved it. I used to coming from school, right? And I would watch like, you know, you'd watch whatever was on CBC. You'd be absolutely devastated. News round would come on. You'd just fucking sit through news round just gutted.

And then there'd be something like Grange Hill or Biker Grove after that. And then you'd switch a TV 2 and you'd get Simpsons and then you get like Fresh Prince of Ballet or Robot Wars. I would lie on me stomach

come on. Eating me tea. Yeah. Watching the, like on me stomach. So like lying like that tell you say it. I'm with me bro. Like that would make me dying.

That's another thing. The way children watch TV really annoys me. Yeah. My son has started to do that. He will lie on his back and like, and I'm like,

look, can you like see the TV properly? Like, is everything upside down? He's just like, no. And I'm just like, this, can you sit up? Stop having fun.

Sit up and just be civilized. Yeah. Yeah, anyway. I just lie on my stomach eating food, which is just disgusting. I was in a, we were in a hotel yesterday, and the chair was slightly too low

when I couldn't eat. I had to move chairs. But then I'm like lying on me, like pizza and fucking. and waffles, beans, turkey, jettas, just hoining it in me. Why lie and flatter me stomach with me head up like a tortoise? Good old day. Like what they were?

Good old days. We didn't give a shit. We need to remember Fresh Prince of Bel Air actually because we're now trying to get our 10-year-old to watch things that we, like, he looks. So at the minute, he's just finished, he loved Malcolm in the middle. Oh, come on, great. He loved, and it's coming back as well, you know, and they're all there, so that's coming back. What else is he watched?

He watched the middle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you ever seen that? With, um, was it Brian? The Janet. No, no, no. The janitor from Scrubs is the main guy in the middle. It's like, it was, we had that was called the middle, even though there was Mark in the middle.

It was very similar. Very, very similar. Yeah, because the kids dead clever as well, anyway. It's just another family, but it's the janitor from the scrubs, from Scrobes who's the main guy in it. That's really good. He's done the Simpsons. He's done all the same. He's completed the Simpsons.

He started watching the American office, but we'll have to skip loads of it because some of it is like not appropriate. But fresh Prince of Bel-Belle. That'll be the next. A good one. I know in my house, you have to learn the intro. You have to learn the rap. It's not enough that you just watch it. It's just like this is a rites of passage.

You must understand how important fresh prince is. Learn it. Are we talking about the... No, but what would you actually think if you met him on our age now who didn't know the rap? I would lose it. Can you imagine? Like, how do you not know this?

Everybody knows this. This is what I mean. Yeah. Oh, this happened last night. The burbs, do you remember the birds? Have you seen the burbs? Yeah. He's never seen it.

Never seen the burbs? I've never seen the burbs. It was on last night and I watched a bit of it. And then you fell asleep and I put the golf on. It was good. Oh, so you didn't even watch it? I knew I wasn't going to stay awake long enough to watch all of it. So I thought I'm not watching a big chunk of it

because I can watch it again at some point with you, maybe with the kids. So I switched the golf on. But yeah, I've never seen the burbs. One of my mates has not seen the boonies. Oh, shut up. And I was like, how? Like, how would, how? How does that work in?

In our generation, how are you not, it was on TV all the time. Yeah, yeah. Everyone had on video. Everyone had the video. That is insane. Yeah. See, that's, yeah. You were going to see because you know the second verse or something.

No, no, I was going to say, yeah, are we talking, are we talking just the normal rap? Are we talking, you know, the first three episodes had that extra. I pleaded and I begged and I like you. I like you. You see? Yeah. Yeah. All right.

I see you. I see you. I don't know that version. Yeah. Neither do I don't remember it. She said, you're moving with the auntie, uncle and belay. And there's another verse in the middle.

It's like, I begged and I pleaded and it did. And it's like this whole, and then it's your home's to ballet. I was a bird. Yeah, it's before the whistle for the cap. So it's between you're moving around your auntie and uncle and belay. And I whistle for a cab. It's a bit in there about he's begging and not to go. He doesn't want to go and all this.

Whenever they would play that version, it was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, remember Eastenders and they would give you that lead up to the dof-dof. Do you remember when they would do that? You would hear this piano. You'd be like, what? What's going to?

And it was like, do, da, and then doof, and you were like, oh. It's special, yeah. Because sometimes it would come in, most of the time it would come in cold, but yeah, sometimes they would lead. Yeah, yeah.

Just the guy on the volume. Well, yeah, in EastEnders, or Coronation Street. Oh, no, I'm at East End. Oh, come on. Oh, right. Coronation Street. Maybe she wanted a bit of all.

I don't know. The theme. I thought, wow, wow, wow, wow, I'm like, it's a cat dying. Like, what's going on here? I just hate it. Yeah.

And Emadale I couldn't relate to back then because I was living in the city and Emmerdale was this countryside. Yeah, that must be like, what the fuck? Yeah. What is this? What is this? How far away is this place?

And remember Brookside? Do you remember Brooks side? I remember Brooks side. That was the sky's one, right? That was a bit young. That was rough as tall. That was rough as hell. I didn't understand a word they were saying.

Big up Liverpool, man. It was great. Brookside was really, first lesbian kiss ever on telly, I think. Oh, yeah. Wow. It was pretty groundbreaking. I bet there was protests.

I bet there was marches. I bet you the Willoughbyn, the 100% will have been. I'm sure. I mean, I might be wrong. I might not be the first one, but when they buried them under the patio, remember that?

No. I remember that? Yeah. Oh, snap. Yeah. They fucking killed someone in Brookside and buried them under a patio. Bury them under the patio?

Yeah. Under the front patio? I mean, no, I was young, because I was a bit young. How old are you? I'm going to be 40 this year. You are we? Come on. Where is that you to say me?

86. 40 clubs. What day is your birthday? August the second. I'm the third! She's the period! This never happens. August, 1986.

August, 1986. Yeah. Oh my God. Everybody calmed up. People are. My son's the first of August. What? What?

Oh, God, I love that. The apologies to everyone listening, but the second of August blew my... I'm third. That blew my mind. That blew my mind. So are you saying then? Okay.

Oh, shut up. All right. You don't believe on that, do you? No. No. I'm not having that. There's 12 kinds of people. I'm not having it.

Well, I'm sorry. Have you met people? I think there's more than 12. There is definitely 12 kinds of people. And then what happens is, when you find out what the star sign is, you go, fuck, that's that person. It's, um,

I think it's very true. They always say lios are supposed to be very, well, arrogant is the word they always used. Do you know what's really hot? The thing with star signs is they can say arrogant, but actually it can just be like an inner, it can be like an inner confidence that you have, like an inner self.

What you're saying is you can absolutely mould the entire thing to mean whatever you wanted to mean. But I'm a Leo, so I would say that wouldn't I? I'm a Virgo and Virgo's are notoriously like, the worst, like, not the worst star sign, but they're very much, in all the rankings, they come like really top fella, just sort of be like, don't take any bullshit.

Oh. Just don't take bullshit. Yeah. I'll agree with the worst bit. Yeah, good, good, thanks. No, I really believe when you read about it, it's really just fascinating, but anyway, fuck years. I'm glad.

I'm glad we're old. Are you doing anything nice for your 40th? Got any good plans? Yeah, what's your plans? Yeah, so, well, not annoying. for me. But because my son is turning 10 and his birthday is the day before mine, he really wants to go to Japan. So we are taking him to, he does not know this. And he's not going to, I'm not going to let him listen to this one. No, don't let him. Yeah, we're surprising him

with a trip to Japan. Are you going to go to Mario? Yes. That's more for me than him. Yeah. So I'm going to have to, I'm going to be in Japan anyway. So, well, that can be both of you though. Can you have a joint? It's pretty cool. We want to go to Japan as well. That's on our list. He's in the littlest one? Absolutely. Oh, wow. You're doing them all of Japan? Absolutely, yeah.

That's rogue. Some parents are just better at traveling than us. You know what? I give that all to my wife. When it comes to traveling, she is the travel person. Like she always wants to explore the world and go here and there. I'm just like, if I'm free, let's go. Like, you know, I'm too bothered.

I think we need to be a bit more adventurous like that. Where's the last trip you had? We're last holiday. We're just Europe. We're just sort of like, buy a pool. We're very boring, honestly. Have you gone to like the Caribbean yet, Barbados?

No. Oh! Oh, no, no, no. We've got to change this. Really? Yeah, I'm going to get my wife to message you. Oh, yes. Tell me where to go.

Yeah, we'll tap. Right, okay. Right, okay. Just expect to message. You know what? It's tricky because we are like, we're very much to a core, like working class.

North East I don't mean that awfully because obviously the world's changing and people are going everywhere but I think fundamentally that's us isn't it and we don't know enough about it We are very much Last week in July, first week in August

Costa del Sol that's it I get it I agree I'm like that's how I was until my wife was just like No man let's see the world I know that's what I wanted Yeah okay that's really cool

In Japan I want to do Japan Oh hugely They both be all right actually Because Raif's five He's really cool. Yeah. It's just a long flight.

And I just think of them sitting. It's great. They do me titting on flights, man. It's actually you. I'm just sitting there. You're driving. I'm literally, I drive him with the soft plane. He's like, oh, we're there yet?

I'm like, it's a 10 minute drive. What do you mean? Over there yet? Yeah, that's what? And that's the thing as well with them. I go, so I go sometimes he go, I'm driving home from school. He goes over there, yeah? I go, yeah.

He goes, no, what I go, why do you ask then? And he goes, don't see it. And I'm like, you. Who's that really for Robin? Rave? Oh, Rave. No, I know. Do you know what it is?

We haven't, our kids are not chill kids. They're just not chill kids. But we're not chill people. We're not. We just found out your birthday was in August and we screamed. No, but we could have celebrated longer. We really could. We all held back.

Let's be real. We really could. We could have broke out the champagne. We could have really gone out like, and it's 40. No, we're not chill people. So we've not got chill kids. So it's our fault.

Yeah. It's our fault. We do look at that. Do you have a look at a thing? You go, why me kids crazy? and you go, oh, my God, it's me. 100%. Yeah.

100%. The craziness of my children definitely come from me. Because I am the, let's blast some music in the house. And let's everybody have like a party, big old. And my wife is just like, guys, we need to pray. It's prayer time now. Yeah, she is the chilled one.

Oh, yes. Christian. Christian, yes. Some devout Christians. Wow. She's definitely getting into heaven, 100%. Hopefully, hopefully I'm her plus one. I think you get a little admin.

So I was brought up Catholic, so I'm Catholic. But Chris isn't, he's nothing. Is it? He's nothing? I'd love to be. I'd love to be. I'd be honest with, I'd love that kind of comfort, I think. I think it would be really nice.

I'd love to believe it. Do you know what I mean? But we've got, yeah. You do a little bit. We've got one child christened and one child isn't christened and I'm not christened, so it's like, what, half and half. Yeah, okay. Half not getting in, half getting in.

You know what's interesting about my upbringing is my dad was Muslim, my mom was Christian, which is very common in Nigeria. Yeah, yeah, is it? Yeah, to have two preference from completely different faiths. And neither of them force it on each other. They just do their own thing. They did their own thing. That's really nice.

So I grew up going to the mosque a little bit and also mainly going to church. Yeah. Hege in your bets. Yeah. You bet to board worlds. What? Who? What?

Which one? Which one's real? That one? Yeah. Get a car. Get that chain. around me neck, there it is. Yeah, man, that was my upbringing.

It's like, yeah, I grew up with both, knowledge of both. Wow. I love that, though. I like that. That's really nice, though. I like that. Yeah. Knowledge of all them as well means it can argue with anyone about that. Exactly.

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Me and my boyfriend moved in together after two years of going out, all happy and settled. My partner decided to have a bar. He didn't have one in his old house, so he was buzzing. I needed to ask him something, so rather than shout upstairs, I went into the bathroom. This is what I'll never unsee in all my life. Firstly, there were no bubbles. just water just him sat in some greyish

lukewarm water which he admitted to peeing in secondly he called his sister brother and mum for a chat while he was in there all who admitted to peeing in the bath as well I am OCD free this is disgusting behaviour

surely peeing in the bath is something you grow out of should I break up with him your thoughts are welcome Oh my gosh, okay. Well, the No Bubbles thing's really upset. That's weird. That's the worst bit. I'm going to be honest with you.

That's the worst bit. Put some shower gel in. Like, come on. Just, oh, shambu, anything. So what he's done, I think what she's seen is, she's seen him, he's had the,

like, just the water with no bubbles would be awful. But he's already obviously done a bit washing as well. So there's like mildew almost on the top, like a little bit of murk. maybe looks a little bit like toothpaste water. That's upsetting.

I can't believe you had my left over a bath last night. I just remember that. And I'm weed in it. So you were a bath, were you? No, but I did it on my way out of the bath. Wait, you... I weed in the bath last night. He had my bath.

She had a bath and then I said... She's never really done. As long as she's not shaved in there or anything. I'm all right. Do you know what I mean? So I just jumped in your bath. And as well, I have like the hottest baths. It has to cool down.

Her baths are... Yeah, scorched. Lobster pot. Yeah, yeah. Ophal. I could have leprosy and I don't think you would catch him. No, my wife does that with the shower. Every time I forget to turn it down before, because it is scorching.

Scorching hot, yeah. No. So you're about it. A weeding on the way out. I would never wait at the beginning of the bath, but I weed and then I stood up and I got out. You didn't have a shower after to get the rinse the wee off you? Put it this way. The way I see this, right?

The way I see this. If that bath water was all clear, no soap in it, and you were going to make cordial. So you were going to make a lovely blackcurrant juice, right? And you put the amount of what my piss was into that bath of cordial. So let's say I'd done half a pint of piss. If you put half a pint of cordial into that bath water and that's just water and then mixed it all in and then you got a drink of it,

would that be black currently enough to enjoy that as a cordial or would you need loads more cordial in than just half a pint? It's a weird analogy. I really want you to know this. I'm judging you. Yeah, he's trying to bring it back.

He's pissing it. No, no, no, no, no. I did it on the way out. All I'm saying is that much water with that much, I just don't think you're about to tell. I don't, I think it just, you do what you want,

we don't judge you. I am being judged. He just asked about how to shower. He then said I'm judging you. He then said it was a weird analogy. He's actually really went in quite heavy on. I think people who listen to this podcast though we'll be very surprised to hear that

because you are like... I had a bit to drink like I was a little... I was like half cut as well so I wasn't that bothered but I just did it and then I stood up and it was where... I was actually watching you on Bake Off while it happens. Come on.

I was watching Paul Hollywood taste your which I thought was Optimus Prime but you said it was a Power Ranger biscuit. Yeah. But it looked amazing. I was watching Paul Hollywood do it while weaning me own bath so look and it's so lovely meeting in person Do you think this is worthy of her breaking up with him?

No. It's not, isn't it? Let's throw in the bath together. Look, if I'm in the bath with you and the wean on us, that's a different fucking story. Like, that's disgusting. It's just the no bubbles for me. That's more upsetting the person.

Exactly. No bubbles is the most upset in this. You're going through something, bro. You know what I'm saying? That is a depressive bad, isn't it? Even at our age, bro, where the bubbles at? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bit of red docks.

You've got to have the bubbles. Flop it up. I tell my wife, yo, come in, do the thing. Yeah, come on, mix it with your hands. And I'm there like, I love it, yeah. Put some music on. Oh, no, no, I love it.

40 this year, we've got to look after ourselves. You know what I'm saying? So you do a podcast with Mo Gilligan, who's been on here and Eddie Caddy. Yes, and that's called Man Like You. Yes, absolutely. So what's all this about? Man Like You is a podcast of like, you know,

three good friends for like 20 years and we always bring something to the table. That's the whole premise of it. Bring a topic to the table. Right. And yeah, just, you know, break it down. Yeah, enjoying it. Oh, yeah. Just have a good time.

Love it. Like I said, we've known each other 20 year plus friendship, being on the circuit and everything. And yeah, we just decided all the backstage talk that we have when we're only backstage list us have that, you know, show it to the world. Amazing. Oh, I love that. Some of the backstage stuff. Some of that's the thing when we get comics on here, some of the backstage stuff.

Obviously, sometimes you can't mention names and stuff. Yeah. But like, so first of all, before we talked about us, did you know them all before you got into Stan? Yeah. No, not before I got into Stan. Oh, right. But, yeah, so with me and Moe Gilligan, it's been like 15 years of like knowing each other. Nice.

With me and Eddie, 20 years. Nice. Yeah, yeah, we've known each other the longest. And yeah, and we, once we started touring together, it went from just having, like, funny conversations backstage to actually having real deep. meaningful conversations with all fathers now. You know, we hang around with each other quite a lot. We all visit each other's house.

We all know each other's family. And yeah, we just said, you know, this would be a great concept, you know, for a podcast. Let's bring these topics to the table that we normally discuss and just have it and see what the world wants to say about it. I love it. I've listened. And it's like, it's like, you can tell that you know each other really well and that you just kind of bounce off each other.

It's a really nice chemistry. I mean, they're always bullying me, though. They always, they bully me a lot. Because I'll say, I'm the vulnerable one. I'll be like, hey, guys, let's talk about therapy. And they're just like, boo-oh, man. This guy needs therapy. And it's just like,

what it was? Nothing wrong with needing therapy. Yeah, you know what I'm saying? Nothing wrong. And they go therapy as well. So I'm just like, why am I getting bullied for this? But they just love picking on me. That's how it is.

So you know, when you were like, obviously, like, about being a comic and stuff, the backstage stuff is just amazing. When you're all, For me, I can't be in a backstage area with someone who's really negative. Yeah. Like a comic who's like, you know,

like someone who feels like they haven't got what they wanted or haven't got the way they want to go and they're just fucking bitter about it. Yeah. I can't bear it. I can't bear it. I can't bear it. And the comic who's trying too hard to make you laugh backstage,

that is unbearable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, dude, please save it for the stage. I don't care. You're in his own. Yeah. It's like, I don't care about your routine. Like in the nicest possible way.

Have you ever had it when someone is talking to your backstage and they're starting, they're talking to it, and it's as if it's a conversation and they say something funny and you're laughing at it, and then you hear them do it on stage. He was testing that shit out on me. He didn't even tell us. He didn't even say what your opinion on this. He slid it in a conversation like it was, hey, this happened this morning.

And then he said it on stage. And I'm like, you fucking didn't even flag that that was, he didn't ask for notes. I was like, me, mate, so Carl Hutchinson, who are, two are with me and call knew each other since before stand-up and stuff. And he told me this, I can't say in your name,

he told me this thing the other day. He says, he was in a dressing room. I'll tell you who it is afterwards, but I'm not going to tell you now, but he was in the dresser. There's someone who's notorious for whinging about not getting

what they should have done. You know, didn't get live at the Apollo, didn't get mock the week, didn't get all these things, constantly goes on about it. And he says it's the fastest, he bumped into him in a dressing room, and he says it's the fastest anyone's ever

got their bitter winging into a conversation. He says he said to the guy, it's 100% true, he said at the guy, oh, hi, mate, you know, his name. How are you doing? Yeah, I'm fine. How's your son? Because he knew he had a son.

And he went, oh, yeah, my son's fine. Yeah, you know, he said the idea, hey, dad, why not on TV? And I said, and he's like, fucking, like, like, immediate, like immediate. How's your son? Yeah, he said, he's fine. He says, why, dad, why you not on TV?

Oh, ha. It's annoying because you feel it like from other comics. Like you can feel that bitterness. And it's a hard thing for you to process. Well, for me anyway, because it's just like, they project that all onto you. And it's just like, dude, like I'm just living my life. I'm not trying. I'm not showing off.

I'm not showing this all in your face. But when you're backstage with somebody who is bitter about their career, it can ruin things so bad. It makes it so, yeah. Absolutely. And you know what? A Leo would never complain about that. So.

Fuck this. Here we are. Here we are. It all comes back to the universe and astrology. Do you know what the worst thing is? You know, if you're talking to someone else about a gig, it's when someone who doesn't go, how did you, how did you get that gig?

Oh, dude. How did you get on there? Yeah. Oh. And you want to go, oh, sorry, mate. It wasn't like, it wasn't, it wasn't, me and you weren't running there together. I didn't trip me up. Like, I've got something for you.

Go on, keep going. No, no, come on. I was backstage at the comedy store once. This was like three years ago. And there was a particular comic and he was talking about what he believes comedy should be, like how stand-up should be. And it was opposite to everything I would do.

So I was like, I was just quiet. I was just like, mm-hmm, okay, he was just talking, talking. I went up on stage, demolished place. Like, you know when you have that gig, that gig. Oh yeah,

where it's just like, ah, yeah, I fucking killed that shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I went back. As soon as I opened the door, he looked at me, he was just like,

fuck you. I was cracking up. I was just like, I'll see you guys later. You're here tomorrow? Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow and I. Fuck you. It was very good.

At least he owned it. Yeah, at least he didn't, at least he didn't just blank it. At least he was like, yeah, fuck you. That's great. That's great.

I've got another one to tell you, but I'll have to tell you when the mics are off. Say no more, man. We'll gossip after. Thank you so much, man. Yay, thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.