Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Please Keep Me Anonymous with Chloe Petts

Episode Date: September 16, 2026

On this week's podcast Chris and Rosie have an absolute riot with the brilliant comedian Chloe Petts. As well as being an incredible stand up, Chloe is also on the latest series of Taskmaster which you can currently watch on Channel 4 every Thursday or catch up on Channel4.com! The trio discuss aging, glow ups, soul mates and the time Chloe had a pilonidal sinus. Plus we get to hear a fantastic story from a SMA! Trigger warning, sh*t is discussed at length...literally! Chloe is going on tour so for tickets and all the latest info visit chloepetts.org If you want to get involved and have your stories and voice notes included on the podcast, then get in touch!  📧: [e-mail] 📱: 07874 406650 You can watch the podcast on the Shagged Married Annoyed YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@shagged.married.annoyed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You are listening to Shagged Mowd. Please keep me anonymous. And this week we are joined by the hilarious Chloe Pets. They are going on tour soon and the tour is called Call Me By My Surname. For tickets and more information, please visit Chloepets.org. They were also on the new series, sorry, of Taskmaster. Yes. There's two episodes out already. Everyone is going to love them and make sure that you tune in on Channel 4.

Incredible line up. Izzy, suitly, Matt Lucas, Nina Conti, Richard Ayo, and... Chloe pets, absolutely fantastic. And I love this episode by the way. Oh, we had such a good check. We saw Chloe years ago in Edinburgh and always knew Super Sardom was in the future. So yeah, enjoy. Enjoy.

We had a fight about the Jinggo, Jingle-Dong we couldn't set along a Jing-Go so this is the Jing-Doo Jing-Doo! We hope you like the Jing-Doo Jing-Gong Bab-Badoo Bab-Doo Babadoo Babadoo-Daboo-Bat

Gingo. Oh, did you do Candy Man at school? In the mirror? No, I never, I was too much of a worse. Oh, God, I did. Did he cut? No, thank God. All over at it.

Fuck it out. Fuck it. Chris, it's not good, is it? You're horrible. Why? No, because I think you've ruined in this podcast because people come on thinking it looks quite professional and you know. That's there.

But then we're horrible. I, no, please don't worry. I know both of you. I've come on this podcast with my eyes well and truth. Good, okay, good. I knew that before we'd even properly started recording,

someone would have said that they're gonna come. Candy man's gonna come on there. It's, what can I say? I'm recycling all material. I, yeah, I don't know. I would be quite concerned about Candyman arriving. Oh, I did it. I was just like, fuck it.

Yeah. I would do anything, like, just to get a reaction. Do you? know that the actor who played, a little fact for you, the actor who played Candy Man negotiated himself an incredible little extra in his contract.

He got a thousand dollars for every wasp sting. You know, he had the wasps or the bees or whatever all over him. He negotiated himself a thousand dollars for every single sting. So he was just running in going, get me last please! That's great, just dabs and something,

it was like an extra 25 grand, 50 grand, because he got stung like 25.50 times. Where do you find this shit out? You know so many weird fucking fat. Maybe I should negotiate that into all contracts. Yeah. Like go on Taskmaster. Yeah.

If I get a bee sting, an extra gram, please. We don't release the bees on this podcast until right at the end. Okay, great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How was Taskmaster? You filmed it all now. All done in the bag. Like, it's out.

It's so strange where, like, people, like, would be like, it's going to change your life. It's a king mega. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. And one episode has come out and I went to a barbecue

on Sunday with a group of strangers and all that happened was four separate people came up to me and was like, I know you, we've met before. And I was like, we haven't.

We actually haven't. Welcome to the, no, you have to just be well-mannered. Yeah. And say, yeah. Yeah, we used to work in the civil service together, I guess.

Now you're gonna have to learn. So do you know, I walk quite a lot around where I live? Yeah, trying to get recognised. No. Yeah, yeah. She walks and she goes, Hi, it's me.

No, she does there. She goes there. Oh my God, I'm watching. Oh, God, guys, can I just be? Why is shit? No, I'm just exactly going to say. No, so I just like the walk. I love walking. And basically, a lot of times, people beep and wave. And I don't know these people. They think they know me.

They think that's my friend. That's who I went to school with. So now what you've got to do is just, you've got a wave back. It's not entirely true. She says the beep and wave. They actually pull up, slow down, wind down the window and say, very nice how much.

Oh, Chloe, a prostitute joke. We've been doing it for, we've been doing this for four minutes. Sex worker. Sex worker joke and I loved it. Thank you.

I really love to put yourself out there. What I'm saying, you're a ratio, you're a ratios man. Not everything you say works, but God you keep trying. Thank you. Thank you.

That's so true. You look great. We, so hang on, I hate the whole leg glow up shit, right? Two men have said it to Christa day. it's really upset us. But Chris has had a glow up. Yeah.

When did we see you in Edinburgh? It was about three years ago. Right. I've definitely had a glow up since then. You've had a glow up. I think all it is is, well, I feel uncomfortable talking about the glow up because I don't know what's your relationship to your faces and bodies where I'll always look in the mirror and just go, oh.

Or like see myself back or something like, oh. So I don't personally agree with the glow up. But what I would say is that I have started dressing and styling myself in a way that feels more authentically me. Nice. Isn't that nice? So you just, yeah. That's nice. That is lovely. I know what you mean.

When someone, like a couple of times a day, people have said, I'm going to tell you, clearly, Joe Wicks said a look in good shape. Just pointed out there. But I don't, so I'm making a joke of it and taking the mick as if I'm bragging about it because I find it genuinely hot to take him. When he said it, I was just like, you want to go, you want to go, you shut. You shut. Oh, gay.

Oh, Joe Wicks no homo. Oh, yeah, I swear. I swear I wasn't trying to get lean in 15. That's exactly what I said. You've been in the gym though, haven't you? Yes. Yeah. How's that been?

I'm taking over the podcast. I'm flipping it back around. I'm going to. I can't be asked. You can't be asked, go to this. No, the podcast. Can't be asked.

You take it over and just talk to us. That would make me so happy. I think to flip around it again, I think the biggest, you tour with the biggest glow up in comedy. history, Ed Gamble. Yeah.

Big as glow up. Question. On the planet. Question. Ready. Question. Do both of you have ADHD? Yes. Yes.

No, it hasn't been diagnosed. Okay. Has to be diagnosed. Okay. I'm diagnosing it now. Okay. I don't have any authority, but I don't think I need it. Yeah. Okay.

So. Chloe, thanks for having me on your podcast. Rosie just absolutely run in the podcast. You sit in there like a little dog panties. That's what we do. This is what we do. But, Ried Campbell's glow up.

I feel like Charlie, his wife is like the best on this, where she's like he was handsome before, he's handsome now, you know, he's just, again, that's a nice little.

But I think he was so handsome before, and like, the reason we all love him isn't because he's hot, is part of why we love him, of course. No, I, no, but it's not, I think he's just ageing well. I think he's aging so well,

and I feel like I might be aging like a man as well, which I'm pleased to, about where... I want to age like a man. Yeah. But I think like more femme presenting people like it... Well, I don't really know what I'm talking about.

I think there's a male privilege to ageing. Where like they have to work less hard to look good when they get older. What? Okay, here's something. Right. Chris has got wrinkly eyes. Yeah. Deep wrinkled forehead. Do you know what though? Fucking love it. Yeah, he looks wonderful.

I fucking love it. Literally when you squinting that, I'm like, look at these, God, look at these wrinkly eyes. sexy eyes. Look and he's like, he's going great and I'm like hard for it. But me... Shut up! You're having a good day today, man.

Nobody is. Nobody's aging amazingly. And I'm like, genuinely, I'm like, I've married well, he's going to be handsome when we get old. I've been. You invested. I've invested well. But me, like, I'm ageing okay, but I look in the mirror and I'm like, oh God. That's what, like, women do. It's not fair.

But that's like a personal thing to you where you look at yourself and... Yeah, I think you're too hard on yourself. Yeah, because you're beautiful. Remember what I said when you into the room? You did. You said bombshells enter the villa. It was really nice. But I think it's a societal attitude that we need to change where I think we're less comfortable with seeing women aging and I don't think it's about women aging less well. I think it's about how we see women aging. We'll flip background I think because at the moment, because we had like loads of body positivity and then the reaction to that is always body negativity and then we'll have body positivity

again. I hope so. We'll just keep taking three steps forward, one step back. I hope so because three steps forward one step that's a more optimistic version of the two steps forward one step back which I like I've added an extra step on should we do four? Go on right I'm still four steps forward one step forward one step I'm negotiating up four from you

how made you will? Four will do I think four would do let's not be over at all this is 25% loss on each movement but we're still yeah yeah you know we're progressing 75% of the time

You can't be happy with that. This is great. No, I'm just upset because we were at a wedding last week. Yeah. And I don't know if you know this, but our friends were there, very good friends, and they had their two-week-old baby. I didn't know that. I didn't know that.

What the hell? Should have been abreast of me. Sorry, did they not let you know when you come in? Should have done research. Should have done research. There was a lady there who thought that I was that child's grandma. It's been a really bad week. But I don't think that's about whether you look at grandmother age.

I think that's probably the context that you're going into. Maybe the grandmothers tend younger in that. Sorry, two seconds. Are you seeing grandparents are younger in the north? Yes. Yeah, they are. No, but actually, I could be. I could be.

I actually could be. I'm 40 now. I could have had that. I could have had a daughter. 20 and 20. 20 and they've had it. Yeah. So my cousin, it's absolutely, it is.

But I think the fact that I haven't lived that life. So my cousin, who is a grandmother, and she's absolutely stunning. She's gone. above me. She has lived that, she had that child she now has, she's lived it, she's very much in it. She should, what she should have is she should have sort of some,

like a, like a sort of crinoline dress. She doesn't, she's glam, she's gorgeous. She should be listening to Vera Lynn. Like, that's how I see her grandmother. Yeah, well no, so she is totally different now. But if she was with her daughter, then maybe but I think it was, it was just a shock. Yeah. It's just a shock. I just thought, fuck, fuck.

Fucking things. Anyway, so I've had a bad week. I would have gone, I've had a bad week, but also I've had one of those kind of times when you go No, fuck it, I'm ageing. I'm ageing, I'm 40. But you're incredibly hard on yourself

and you shouldn't be and I say this all the time. Yeah, but I also think like when you're 60, God forbid, you're gonna look back at all of this footage and be like, what was I complaining about? I was lush, I know. Blonde Bombshow into the villa. Thanks, good.

I was at the scooter park paying for our son's little lesson in the skate party, the idea he went in. It's so funny when you said I was at the scooter park the sun was out of it for me I was just there the image was just like

you and her own school and I had be helmet on I had be knee pads ready to go have I had a turn yeah I've had a couple of turns oh my god wouldn't be the big ramp though

you're kidding as I'm going to fall over in front of all the moms and dads the lady being on the counter I said or something would be what you've been up or whatever I said oh being away so it was my wife's 40th

and I don't know how old the lady is but she's old of us and she went E 40 just a been meaning just a kid. Isn't that lovely? Thanks for translation. Yeah. No problem at all.

Just a bummer. Just a bit. But yeah, just a bane. That's good. That's good. Because it's all relative. Yeah. It's half way to death though. How old are you, Chloe? I'm 32. Fucking hell. Just a baby. Just a little wee babe.

I'm just a wee babe. How old are you, Chris? I'm 40 as well. We're 27 days apart. Fuck off. 27 days apart. We're different star signs though. What's even cool? Cooler.

What's even cooler, third of August, 30th of August, 30th of August, 03. Soulmates. Flip reverse. We're kind of soulmates, but not soulmates because here's something which Chris knows and it's fine.

When, so one of my makeup artists is a tarot. Well, I never know where this is going next. We're not soulmates because one of our makeup artists, yep, cool, carry on. Please. So,

With their last interview in a very long day. I'm sorry. No, my makeup artist, she's like a spiritual, very spiritual lady. She told me that my soulmate is my best friend. And Chris isn't your best friend. No. Who's your best friend?

Steph. She's my soul mate. And how do you feel about that? I'm hearing this for the first time. This has never been taught to me. She just hold my hand and said, and Chris knows this. I don't know this.

Did you not know that you? I have no idea. Did you think you were soulmates the whole time? I thought we were so... I've just told the Thomas brothers about we're soulmates. And the whole time she was going, he doesn't fucking know.

You didn't tell me that. But how, wait, how does she know? She just said, she went, your sawmate is like, who's your best friend? You said, I said it's Steph. She went, that's his soulmate, and I went, I kind of agree.

Yeah. Oh, no, but like, you're my sexual soulmate. That's good. I'd be happy with that one. Sexual soulmates. Sex's my platonic soulmate. Right. But anyone can do that.

What? What's your best friend called? Well, actually, that would be quite controversial. Let's say Jodie. Right, Julie's not your soulmate. No, what's your barber's name? That's your soulmate. Anyone can do it.

See? Anyone can talk shit. No, but I think she's right because Steph is my soulmate. I mean, Steph had a really big conversation about it, Steph was like, I think you're my soulmate as well. So, oh, God. But she's married as well.

I think that's appropriate. Yeah. Isn't it? It's like a best friend. What's your opinion on people? that at their, during their vows, say I'm marrying my best friend. How does that make you feel? Did you say it doing your vows?

No, I don't think so. I did, no. I'm thinking that this is a weighted question, you've got an opinion on it. What are you thinking? I just think they're separate things. Like, I think they're separate categories. Like, again, forgive me if this is offensive to you,

but people that call their mother their best friend. I think, no, she's my mother. That's weird as fuck. Yeah, and she can have qualities that I would turn to the best friend, but I wouldn't say that she's my best friend. Yeah. I mean, personally, I agree. Like my sister, I've got a sister who I'm very close to,

and my mum, and I love them. But they are my sister and my mum, and then I've got my sawmate, Steph. She's my best friend. And then you've just got this guy. And then I've got this. He's my sexual partner. He's my...

That's all he is. She's just a cock in her face. He's just a cock in her face. Can you imagine if I said a similar thing about you? It would be fucking hell on. Yeah, you can't. Just a cock in her face. No, do you know what I mean?

No, I love you to death. But you know, but, and we are probably soul-mates, I've been called worse things. I've been called worse things. I'll take a cock in her face. What's Steph like? She's lovely. Yeah, what she does?

She's a teacher. We're being best friends since we were like 15. I wish she was here. Yeah, she's really good. This is awful. She's great. She's lovely. She's really fun.

She's a really good laugh, actually. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. as well actually she lost like she was bigger when we're younger she lost loads of weight like on her own she's like proper and she ran the great north run like really proud of her what would have

joeywick said about her you would have said you're an inspiration yeah see what did he say about you that looked really fit you're having you're having like a mixed day today I was saying people are saying people are really questioning the content of your character yeah but but they say you look hot at least it's a it's an emotional roller coaster yeah what would you What would you rather have? I think I'd rather people think I was hot. Like, I could do a full stand-up show and no one laugh for an hour, but if everyone at the end at the same time went,

you looked absolutely stunning today and we all want to have sex for you, I'd be like, my job is done. We're fickle fuckers, aren't we? But I think maybe it's because, like, I feel like I have more control over whether I'm, like, being funny and charismatic on stage, whereas, like, I just want the lot that I was given in terms of the way I look to be confirmed as good or bad,

you know what I mean? Well, you've had your glow up, so I think you look great. A haircut today. Nice. Did it fresh for this? Fresh. Nice. Your skin's lovely.

You've got a good skin routine. Well, yes. But it's nothing deep. I just use a lot of ESOP. Esop? Esop. ESOP is like a sort of bougie skincare brand, and it's like very sort of culty. Like there's one on Broadway market, and you're going, and they're all speaking very softly.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. wearing the same apron. Would you like me to wash your hands? Oh, hang on. It starts with an A. A.E.S.O.P. E.Sop. I thought this might happen.

Yeah. I've never called that E-Sop. What would you have called it? A-sop. A-sop. I think we'd call it A-Sop. Yeah, okay. I know which one. Do you call it A-O-P-O-Sop?

A-U-Sot. Yeah, I know what you mean now. That's a lovely brand. Isn't it a lovely brand? Yeah, I was like, what the fuck I should. I'd recommend it to anyone. And if they were loved to want to interrupts me. Can you just see how angry Rosie got at the idea that there was a boozy face brand that she hadn't heard.

Yeah, I was. She was ready to fucking jump you. Like, what's it? What's it? Yeah. No, I go to bed with a wet face. That's how much I use. All right.

Well, is there a, um, Shagmari Danoid, no context account? Because that's going straight on it. It's almost like she doesn't know these things can be clipped up. The stuff is. I do. It's going to be clipped up until. I've got like. I've got a fan in my, do you know, in my, where I put all my creams on,

like my little station. I've got a fan, I have to fan in between each layer. Genuinely. I've said it before. It takes about 10 minutes. I've said before, the stuff she puts on her face. It's like, have you ever seen someone making a chopping board on the internet? It's like the layers of stuff they put on.

Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babo. This episode is sponsored by TV licensing. A TV licence covers you to watch over 400 TV channels, plus everything on BBC IPlayer, To find out more, go to tvl.co.uk forward slash pod. Rosie. Yes.

So many things on TV coming up. I know. So many things are talking about. Autumn really ramps up on the TV side of things. I think you're going to be back in the house. You're going to be sitting down early nights, dark nights. You're going to be watching a load of cracking stuff. What you're looking forward to?

So I'm looking forward to RuPaul's Drag Race UK. I'm a series behind, sadly, right? So I'm going to binge watch the last series. And then this series started on the 3rd of September. So I feel like I'm just. just going to have, that's my night's plan. Absolute powerhouse of a show. It's been going forever that.

It's so good though. Yeah, it's really good. Obviously, I've seen all of the American ones and the UK ones are just as good. And actually, like, a lot more relatable as well. Yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? Close at a home.

Close at the home. Obviously, huge this autumn, strictly come dancing. Obviously huge every single year, but we've got brand new presenters this year. We've got my mate, Josh Whittickham. We've got Emma Willis. And we've got the wonderful ex-professional dancer on the show, Johannes.

Yeah, I love Johannes. Oh my God, when I did the show myself, Johannes, just whenever you saw him, it was just like, he just made us feel amazing. I did sewing be with him. Yes. Yeah, he's a really magical man. Lovely presents.

Just a lovely presence out of brown. So yeah, complete switch up. Let's see what it's like, eh? Yeah. I think there's going to be a lot of people watching. Oh, everyone's going to tune in to see what's going on. Yeah, I'm really looking forward to seeing how it goes on. And obviously, it's tough for me to watch

because I found it so difficult. Just when I hear the dancing, that whatever, Do you know, I thought I were going to say? What? I thought we're going to say, it's going to be tough for me to watch because I really wanted that game. No, it's tough for me to watch. But we know this, because I found strictly so difficult. I know you, you're triggered.

Literally, I hear the, do, do, do, do. And I get, like, nervous because it was just, but, yeah, I mean, it's just, again, it's just a powerhouse of British television. It's a great Saturday night program. I love having it on. Family friendly. Family friendly. Can be on, in the background while you're catching up with your mates or, you know, the kids can be there while it's on.

It's a lot. Watch it with the kids. Watch it with your mates. Yeah. and a cheek little glass of wine. It's fantastic. Oh, there's loads of new dancers as well. Exactly.

But it's going to be, it's going to be like a new show. Obviously, bake off back on my screens as well. Come on. Big news in bake off. What? Nigella. Nigella. Oh my gosh.

I completely forgot about that. Yeah, man. Ooh, okay. Oh, that'll be, oh, look at these programs shaking it up. They really have, haven't there? I think Nigella, it will be a really good judge. And from when I used to watch Nigella back in the day, she loves a bit of cake.

Oh, yeah. Do you know what I mean? If you're watching this, on YouTube, I'll just lean slightly out the way of there. You can just see, just see me star big area. Wow, wow. Not about you, Chris. Yeah, not about you.

I try and make everything about me if I can. Of course you do. What else you've got coming up? It's called Cruising Paradise, above and below deck. It's on E4. It started on the 30th of July, and it's 10 episodes running through Dull October. It's just something that I know that I will love.

Yeah. It's a documentary about a cruise ship, and it shows the kind of behind the scenes with a lot of the entertainment staff, which I know so many people have worked on cruise ships and I know how stressful it is, and also I used to work abroad in roads and hotels, but I know all about it.

And I just love seeing the behind the scenes of cruises. They're fascinating. I've never been on one, but I find them fascinating. Obviously, they are the forbidden food for you because you couldn't get a job of a cruise ship because you weren't tall enough for you. I wasn't tall enough of the costumes. I would have been, I would have been so much more relatable.

But yeah, so it shows, and it follows a couple of the travellers, some young, some old, some first-timers, some who've been there, lots of times. And I just love stuff like that. And E4 always do it really well. Channel 4 as a whole do those kind of documentaries. But listen, more.

And listen, it's not all light, hard entertainment. ITV have The Rainmaker, which is a legal thriller. We love a courtroom. We love a courtroom drama. It's a legal thriller. It's corruption. It's all kinds going on. We've got that ready to look for just, you know,

it can't all be shiny floors and excitement and bacon cakes and dance. No. That has to be a bit gritty in there as well. We need the drama. So we've got Structy on the BBC. We've got Big Off on Channel 4. We've got Rupal on the BBC.

We've got Cruise in Paradise at E4 and we've got ITV, the rainmaker. Nice. Oh, bit of everything there. Absolutely sown up your autumn there for you. Enjoy. And remember, a TV license covers you to watch over 400 TV channels

and everything on BBC iPlayer. To find out more, go to tvl.com. com.com. Happy watchin. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babo. Visit BetMGM Casino and check out the newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick. BetMGM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly.

19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2,600 to speak to an advisor. Free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. What do you do because your skin looks great as well?

Do you wear a little makeup as well? I've got a little bit makeup on now. Yeah. And I also did Good Morning Britain this morning, so there's double layers of me on. But I didn't stop moisturising literally until we got together. And I was like, oh, okay. Now I'll do a little under-eyed serum. I'll do moisture.

You look absolutely fantastic. I hope that this happens for me as I... 32. ...gain further celebrity. Oh, right, okay. It's money. Did you think so? Yeah, like a same amount.

But it's no way to spend the... money. I still want nowhere to spend Can I text you? What do you want? Look, skincare. Yes. You don't have to spend a fortune, you know. I've learned that actually there's lower brand ones. Like, the crazy ones are good, but

you don't have to be mad. And what do you, would you say you need in your skincare routine? Because at the moment, I'm cleansed, tone, moisturised and that's it. The Holy Trinity. Awful! No, it's not awful. I thought I was good. I was going to say, that's great. I was the Holy Trinity. Remember we're boys.

So just, Anything that's above a splash of water is quite good for us. Okay, fair enough. But I'm going to, I think everybody should be doing this. So, you cleanse. You don't wear makeup though, do you? I wear some makeup, but I wear tinted moisturiser. Okay.

So maybe on a day if you've been doing TV or if you've had a bit more makeup on, you double cleanse. Okay. All right, I know. I'm already bored. Because actually, if you cleanse and then you kind of wipe to wipe over,

you've still got stuff there. So double cleanse, okay. And then you want to be getting, I use like a little face mist first to like, then I fan it so that dries. And then I do my eye cream. Okay, sometimes a retinal, because we all get an older.

Retinal is a good one. And then I'll do vitamin C serum. Yeah, and then I'll do a normal serum. And then I'll do either, and then that's it really, unless I've got a fat. And I'll do, I've got a neck, like a neck cream that it's got a roller on it.

So I do that. need a bit of that now. Yeah, and then you do a lovely, really thick night moisturiser. Do you know what it is? It's the facial skin care equivalent of, you know, in Love Actually, where Ron Atkinson's...

Yeah. He's packing up that he just wants to quickly buy the necklace from a bit on the side. He's like, snapping fucking cinnamon sticks. It's just the work of butter moments, sir. It's that. It's when you think she's finished, another fucking thing comes out

and she's rolling and she's spraying. I know. Do you ever put that thing on your face with the red light? Yeah, I've got one of them as well actually What does that do? Me's not a bit of read your phone for 20 minutes. Replace the blue light with the red light.

It's terrifying. If you're in the house on you're wrong and you've got the red light thing on, someone could come in the room and steal a thing on. Oh yeah, you've got the eye one. I got the eye one, yeah, it broke, but I got the eye one. I don't really know what it does, you know? Do you just put it on? Yeah.

You just went, I'll put it on and I don't know what this does. Kind of? No. No. And I thought, well, they sell it in the shops. Yeah. Can't be that bad. Well, maybe.

I think that's probably a decent metric to go by because it must have like... It's sold cigarettes in the shop. Oh yeah, they do sell cigarettes in the shop. Oh yeah, we do. Oh, yeah, we do. Oh, shit. Tell vaping the shops. Do you, do you vape?

No. Do you vape? No. No. Do you want to start? Should we start? Should we start? I don't, because I'm a next... I smoked when I was younger.

Yeah. And I loved it. Yeah, it's good, isn't it? Oh, what? Do you smoke? I used to smoke. Oh, God. It's all good.

I got off it. And... Well done. Thank you, actually. Yeah, it is hard to do. Especially in our industry. Yeah, because everyone smokes. I think it was, I had to like take loads of run-ups at it though to kind of like disrupt the routine of it.

And then it just got so what, well, will I be telling you my butt-sist story? Who? Who? Who? But-sissus. Bout-sist. Oh, but-sist. I love cysts.

On your board? Oh, I'm not a butt-sist, yeah. I will be telling you my butt-sist story. Please do. I love spots and sits. I don't think I've ever told this on a podcast before. nor publicly. World exclusive.

World exclusive. So when I was... World exclusist. Oh, very good, thanks. See, I told you. So numbers are going for you. You'll get something good at some point. Stop.

This is why you're not my soul, mate. If Steph was here now, she would have done an excellent pun about us. Oh, Steph would have got a round of a phone. She's better than that. Right, so come on. Tell us about your sister. So, 25 years old,

I'm working for, The job that I did whilst I was trying to become a stand-up comedian was I worked for a homelessness charity. And I was incredibly unhealthy, eating lots, drinking, lots, smoking lots. But we would have to go out and do these sort of like four-hour shifts where we walk around London trying to help homeless people. And then I spend like eight hours sat on my ass in the office. And in the course of this sort of unhealthiness, what I developed was something called a pylonidal sinus, which you, a pylidylidil, a sinus you can be born with. which is basically where your tail used to be in an evolutionary aspect. Some people can be born with like a micro hole in just above their butt.

My friend used to have this. Which probably still does unless you got it removed. It was a man. It was a man. And it used to refill. Yes. It's a phenomenon. It's a sensation.

It's sweeping the nation. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. It fills back up. You got to remove that sack. Well, my sack hasn't been removed because it would have been quite an invasive

procedure. Right. You're right there? I can't. There's so much happening but I don't want to interrupt you but just keep on. I didn't know it was because

it was like a tail. Yeah, because it used to be a tail. Yeah, because it used to be attacked. And what can happen is if you're a bit inactive, a bit of sedentary, a bit unhealthy, a bit of grit.

Garret. Yeah, I'm just gonna you actually, Garrett. I'm sub-tweeting you, Gary. What a fucking name drop. Sorry, yourself out. Fuck out, Garret. It was a long day ago.

I think it'll be gone now. Um, Garren. Sorry. Just when I thought that this story couldn't get any more uncomfortable, I'm 90% sure you just said the word grit.

A bit of grit in my pile of idle sinus. I got a bit of grit in there. I got a bit of grit in there. What are you doing sitting on the fucking driveway? Yeah. You know how dogs drag their butt across the floor? I was doing a lot of that at the time. Stop.

What? Right. So anyway, I get a bit of grit in my butt. pilot line of science. Oh great. So that's real? Yeah. Oh no.

I thought that was... What? I don't know. Just like general grit. Just around the place. Did you play football though? No, I wasn't doing slide tuggles and then got a big grit in my pilot and outside. I don't get why this bit is the bit that you're struggling with.

It's the word grit that I've got such upset. Like you walk around, I mean like a bit of dust. Just like a bit of like, you know, you walk around the place and there's bits of air. Yeah. There's bits of shit in the air. Yeah. That got right up a pile of. The finger point that Chloe just did was aggressive.

Right up my pilotise. Right out there in your pile of the night. So anyway, and please always stop for questions. I don't have to tell this as a linear story. We can go and dive. Oh, we will. We will. I know where we're going back to.

Okay, good. I said grit there by the way and not grit. Grit. Grit. So anyway, this can be fine if you get a bit of grit in your pile of nails or something. grit in your pylonidylitis however if you're like unhealthy or sedentary or something like that

it can get a bit infected and then what happened was my pylidylidyl sinus grit got infected oh god Chris will not get his grits you're in time yeah and then so then I've got

this butt cyst essentially so I go to the doctor and I say babe got you know is that a cyst on my butt or am I just pleased to see me and the doctor says that's a butt cyst

yeah so the doctor didn't use the by linnanth's sinus or whatever it's called they said butt cyst yeah you've got an absolute butt cyst yeah yeah I imagine this doctor

was in the same back lane where you got the grit in it but yeah so many people will have turned off this off they love it no they love it they love it we love it

but people will get triggered by butt cysts I think the way that you get triggered by food around the mouth so are we talking about are we talking about like a cyst so I never I never saw it because it was back there

and I was too scared to look at it but my mum and my best friend Jodie the aforementioned Jody Soulmate? Yeah, I think so yeah they have pictures of it so maybe for this podcast we could release the pitch

Yes So I go away and then they say we'll get you on some antibiotics If it doesn't go down then you're going to have to go to the hospital I've got a question Please If you are my soulmate friend I would have squeezed the shit out of that buttist.

We were, we were, there was, I'm a big squeezer, I love spots. Dr Pimple Popper, is bay. Yes, I love Dr Pimper Popper. My YouTube algorithm, I would dread for you to see it. No mind's shocking. Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, blackheads all day long. But this was sort of one of those, like it was a mound

and it needed to be cut to get it. Cheating. Yeah, I don't like it when they cut them and I don't like it when they use that little single. a whole punch thing where they're just gnaw in it with a circle and then they go at it. Commodone extractor. Oh no, you were thinking of a different one. No, you're right. No, that's what it's called. Comedona extractor.

Wow. Okay. Thank you. So anyway, I have to, long story short, I go to hospital, but I couldn't stand up, I couldn't sit down. So the way I had to get to hospital was I couldn't go, like, in an Uber to hospital because I couldn't sit down. So I had to go on the bus and sort of just squat on the bus. One of the worst journeys of my life. God. I go to the hospital and... Did it smell?

sorry How was the mood of the bus? Was it a hot day? I don't think it smelled. Were you festering the bus? But infections do smell. But I think if once you cut into it, it's... Okay, so it didn't smell.

I just need to get the full thing. Sorry, you're on the bus, squatting. I'm on the bus squatting. I get to... Hospital. Go through the whole rigmarole of it. Now, you'll remember we were talking about me giving up smoking. And at this point, I hadn't been smoking for about two weeks.

and every time so I eventually got put in a bed butt up couldn't lie down on the front of on my back of course and every time a nurse would come over they have to ask you what's your name, what's your day to birth so they can verify that they're giving you the right treatment and then they ask more sort of like procedural questions

like do you smoke and they said do you smoke and it was all of these like incredibly beautiful nurses that would come over ask if I smoked and when I said I haven't been smoking for two weeks I go that's amazing well done. Wow. So I'm like thinking,

you know, I'm butsist, start thinking they're absolutely cracking on with me. My mom was there and I was like, laying there like screaming up like with the pain of my butt cyst

and the nurse would come over and we'd have a chat and then my mum would just go, she's nice. Mom, stop wing manning me in the hospital. No, you're not going to meet the love of your life with a but cyst.

Not with a butt cyst. I mean, I wish, did you? Although can I just see the love of your life? sawmate will see past the buts. Was it actually? Steph would see past your Steph would have took me

hospital. But the, um, the, um, I would have made you squat on the bus, you fucking, Judas, turn cord. So the last thing I'll say, well,

that sort of encouraged me to give up smoking. Okay. But the last thing I'll say is, as I went down into, I've probably done a few bits of television at this point. And as I went down to get my butt cysts removed,

the last thing my mum said to me, was, oh, I wonder if any of the doctors will recognize you. So that's obviously in my head. And then they give me the, what is it that puts you under? Anesthetic, like, the anesthetic. Yeah. It must be bad if they put you under. God, yeah, shit.

The worst butt cyst of my life. Yeah. So they put me under and I like go under and then they remove the butt cyst. And then as I'm like waking up, I like panic because I don't know where I am. And the last thing that was in my head was, I wonder if they'll recognise you. And the first thing they say is, Chloe, Chloe, like, wake up, wake up.

And I thought that they knew my name because they were recognising me because I'm a stand-up comedian. So I just sat bolt up right and shouted, I am not a stand-up comedian! And none of them knew that I was a stand-up comedian. They were all like, what the fuck has happened to this person? It's never done that before.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. That's amazing. But that's why I quit smoking. Oh, I'm terrified of going on down and stay. Really? I've never been. I've never had to do it, mate.

Never had to do it. Scared of it. Really? Yeah, because I feel like you'd be like, am I coming back? Am I going to come back from it? It is scary actually. Just, just to, just to,

wrap this up in a neat little ball. There's still a hole there. How are you keeping it grid free? Every hose ago. People are actually trying to go out my pilot. If you're getting fingered in that fucking pylonitis, I'm bringing social services. You're bringing social services.

Chloe's an adult. It's not. Because it's wrong. You can't get fingered. If you get fingered in your pilot order of a sinus, I'm calling the RS PCA. Baja. Babadoo, babo do, babadoo, babo do, bao.

Visit Betmgmgm casino and check out the newest exclusive. The price is right. Fortune Pick. BetMDM and Game Sense remind you to play responsibly. 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor, free of charge. BetMGEMGEMD operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. So me and Rosie, you've both been on Taskmaster. Love it. genuinely one of the best things I've ever done on telly probably the best I think you

probably agree yeah the most fun I've had on telly how did you find it I loved it it was amazing it was so funny because um I was so nervous going into it because obviously like I was coming in as the like the kind of the new person the kind of upstart I guess and I had this real sense of like everyone loves this show and I don't want to let it down and also like I'm a fan of the show I agree so I'm a fan of the show I agree so I I feel like a real representative of this community that love this show. And everyone loves it partially because you get to think, you get to think, what would I do in this situation?

And now I have that opportunity. I'm like, well, I don't want to let everyone down. But the genius of Taskmaster is that the first thing, the first person that you encounter is Chrissy, the makeup lady. Oh, I love Chrissy. Yeah. Love Chrissy. I will never stop shouting that woman out.

She's so kind and so funny. She's gorgeous. And she really looks after you during them tasks. Totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Love Chrissy. And I think that they deliberately make her your first port of call, particularly the newer people.

She just knows how to look after you. And she just, she sat me down. I was really nervous before my first task in the house on my first day. And she was like, you are going to go in there so nervous on the first task. But I promise you what happens is you'll forget about your nerves within seconds because you'll get so excited and you'll start concentrating on the task

and then as soon as you come back out you'll have forgotten about your nerves and you'll just be like, get me back in there I want to have another go. Brilliant. And she was exactly right. And that's why the show works is because it sets it up in such a way

that it stops all of that in a monologue that you would usually have in all other television going, am I being funny enough? Can I get my joke in? Someone's cut across me. Oh dear. All of that goes out the window and you just get to be yourself.

Yeah. So I loved it. And then obviously the studios are like a slightly different kettle of fish and like you have to ease in. What I loved about the studios was you get to go there and see your tasks for the first time and you're so excited. Normally you hate watching yourself back. Yeah, yeah.

I don't know about you. I can't bear watching myself back on anything. But I hate watching you too, yeah. But I was so excited to watch me stuff back and see how it went. And then you've got all the other contestants there. And you're like, oh my God, I get to watch how they're tired of all. And the beauty of seeing. I remember on my series, we had to do this one thing where we're in this massive barn.

It was a singular task. It wasn't a team task. Massive barn. And there was loads of plastic cups piled up everywhere. I think I remember this. Yeah, yeah. And you were only allowed to leave the barn, going in and out the barn twice or three times. And you had to make a cup snake, the longest cup snake it could possibly make.

And it was a really short time limit. Yeah. And when I finally did a group task, it was just made at Ardell O'Handlin, who I loved Ardle for years, you know, father Ted the lot. The first fucking words he ever said to me, he literally just went, I went, are you, mate, I'd love to meet you. You went, how long was you a cup snake? First thing he said, how long was you a cup snake?

And Andy Devonshire and everyone and Alex saw it. They went, whoa, whoa, you can't discuss it, you can't discuss it. The first thing he said. You don't care, you don't care with you. You just want to know how did you. How did you? How long was your cup snake?

I was proud of how I did that. How the fuck did you do? It's great. I realized how thick I am, though. Really? Did you not, I like, God, do you know, some of them, the way I could see Alex is such a lovely,

man but I could tell and something when he was describing it to his he was really pissed off with us. Really? Yeah like I was like got it. Because you just weren't getting it because I just wasn't getting it and I could tell he was like right okay um and then I thought I'm annoying you because what I do though I've got a horrible trait. I've got to break Alex horn like I know but I've got a horrible trait of like I'll just I'll go oh yeah yeah yeah and I'm not listening at all like I'm not I'm not taking it in and so you would say it's not quite a few times What I think, Rosie will, if just didn't know for a second, I'm so sorry. But Rosie, you've got, she's got a thing where she thinks if she asks too many times, it's rude,

which is going to upset you. So she'll just pretend, yeah, I understand. And be like, oh my God, I didn't understand, but I didn't want to look stupid. I didn't want to upset this person. And it actually, in the long run, it upset him a lot more. Yeah. But that's great for Taskmaster. Yeah.

I mean, I loved it and I love Alex. He's great. Yeah. Right. Now, Chloe, you have got a story for us to read out. Please, please, go for it. And do you know what, I'm quite a talented reader. Oh, good.

Yeah, this is, I know why you've got me on. I feel like you said it now, though. You might forget it. Dear, ring you. Dear Chris and Rosie, please keep me anonymous. Now, I've read this. I don't know why they want to be kept anonymous. I was very proud of this.

Yeah, and sometimes it's like I called my teacher a pig. Oh, cool. It's the same energy as like, when some, someone tells you a story and then they goes, don't put that in your stand up. And I go, I won't. That was the most boring thing I never, in my life.

Yeah. Yeah. That's a fucking great. I've never heard anyone actually see it before. I love that so much. Yeah. Oh, no, never would.

No, it was shit, actually. I won't. I won't. I hate you. Okay. But this is interesting. Okay.

Please let that be placed on record. Okay. I was recently. hanging out with my boyfriend, we were getting ready for bed when he said that something had happened to him that morning. I've got nervous about my reading now. Don't be. It's fine. You've got a lovely voice. You've big it up far too much heavy, you know, really front-loaded it and we're going to be very critical. Where are you from, by the way? Kent. Nice.

Why'd you ask? No, I couldn't place you. I couldn't. I couldn't place the accent. My accent's gone through a few, like, through a few different things. So it started very Essex, then I went to a posh uni, and then it sort of settled down into this. Yeah, okay. It's really, I'm just asking. I thank you. God.

We put done with that in your stand up. Where are you from? What's your voice doing? Where's it from? Why do you sound like that? We're not going to interrupt anymore. I was recently hanging out with my boyfriend. We were getting ready for bed when he said that something had happened to him that morning.

At the time, he swore he would take to his grave, but he desperately wanted to share it with me. He went on to tell me that, that very morning he had gone to the toilet and he'd taken a shit. That's about shit, okay. A big one. Nothing majorly knew there, but still, he felt it was worth telling me. Now, in the Netherlands, and you're going to love this, Chris. The place, not the...

Not the Netherlands. No. The Netherlands. The country. Sorry. Is this... Because we don't trust your region. So I thought it might have been a little cheeky little name for his penis.

No, they're actually in the Netherlands. No, they're from They live in the Netherlands. Okay, right. Do you see why Alex Horn was really upset? You're dealing with two of them. Oh, I thought you were doing a joke, but that was a genuine question.

Not the Netherlands, is it? Oh, no, that was not a joke. I am not a stand-up. I am stupid. I'm not a stand-up. I was doing it. I'm very serious. You were doing it joke because you're a very funny boy.

Thank you very much. Now, no, they live in the Netherlands. Holland. Dutch, not the Netherlands, our toilets have a sort of shelf. Oh, for cocaine. No, I don't think so. So, I'm going to read the rest of the story

and you understand why that's for you. All right, okay, all right. Our toilets have a sort of shelf. Yeah. My boyfriend, okay, okay. And okay, so it doesn't actually explain, but what you've assumed is there's like a shelf on top of the toilet where you'd be doing cocaine.

But I think when they mean this is a shelf in the pan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Horrible. Yeah, we, some of our toilets in the house are. Oh, God. Who? So, the steam collector. It's the worst.

Oh, the skinny fucking runway, yeah. Imagine doing cocaine off the shelf. That's why it's a funny image. Yeah, inside the toilet. I can't imagine what this shelf looks like. So if you're looking at the toilet from the side. No, I don't think you're talking about how I'm talking about. Our toilets, I think this is a, they specifically must have a, like, a full-on shelf.

It's a duck shelf. So it goes like, from the front of the toilet here, it goes down and then along and then into the water. There's like a little bit. But why is there sort of like a hoping there? It's terrible. It's, if you hit that, you're out of it with the toilet brush all day. It's an absolute night. The turd presentation.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly that. Yeah. Some of our toilets have got it. And I see some, because we'll live in the north and we've got a few toilets. Move to the north, guys. They're all outside. Oh, wow.

I want right into that one. We call them the water closet. Sorry, I think very well of the North. Please let that be placed on record. We are totally, we get it. We love it. Bradford, not so sure, but the rest of the North lovely. I love all of the place, and I'm Bradford soon.

I'll see you there, tickets on Chris Ramseycom. I don't think I'm going there on tour, so I uphold my opinion. So my boyfriend was so shocked so the, the, the, the, the turrets. get stops on the shelf. My boyfriend was so shot by the size of his turd that he managed to use a measuring app on his phone to figure out how big it was. Now I don't know what that measuring app is going to look like.

Is it going to be like, you know, when you see people, like those men in the street with like a tripod and then a red light? Like a quantity severe. Yeah, like the quantity sphere measuring the distance of the turd. So I have used one of these measuring apps before when I didn't have a tape measure. and I was measuring I think a wardrobe

or a space where a wardrobe would go and they're quite reliable, they're not, I used two of them and they gave us two different, but within a couple centimetre metres of each other, yeah, so. So how long do you think this big turd was? Is that where we're at?

Is that where we're at? I'm taking, we're both mumbling, is that we're up, but we both want to get this right. What metric system do they have in the Netherlands? Well, they've got the metric system. I've got, I've got centimetreys and I've got inches. Oh my God, I've got both. I work in centimeters.

I am going to work in inches and I am going to see... And that's why you work together so beautiful. That's why I do it. Why is you working in inches? Um, because I'm just going to work in inches. Why do you think?

Surely you're sending me? Um, why do you think? You, he's not going to go... He wouldn't have gone on a dating app and said it's, you know, it's 10 centimeters. It's 10 centimeters, yeah. I normally do millimeters as more numbers. Sounds good.

Yeah. You got a look at three figures if you're looking. Don't you slag off. Um, I'm going to say, it was 13 inches. That's wild. That's disgusting.

I'm telling you it was 13 inches. That's long. They've written a fucking email about it. It's not going to be a little... Yeah, but your actual intestines aren't that long, I don't think. Yes, they are. They're literally, you can literally stretch them down a street. Or you read a fucking book.

Read a book to learn that you can stretch your intestines on the street. Thank you. Okay, I'm going to... No, I'm going to say... I just cut my... She's literally put 30 inches she's literally put 13 inches out in her fingers almost to the fucking...

Shut up! Shut up! Get your measuring up! I'll see how long that one. I just live by the 30 centimetre ruler. That's everything I ever measure I start off with the 30 centimetre ruler like it's cool.

It can't be that long. That's gross. I'm gonna say like half of that. Like... Just six inches. No, I'm gonna say... No, 20 centimetres. That's not...

That... Oh, go fuck yourself. Okay. 28 centimetres long. She's the bed. 11 inches. 11 inches. That's disgusting.

That's a ruler. It's a fucking ruler. Do you think it went, well, so it was on the shelf? Do you think it curled? Like a dog. That's unbelievable. The app couldn't have measured it for curled.

Come on, guys. No, the app couldn't have me. It's got to have been straight. How big would the shelf be? This is, what? This is wild. What do they eat in the Netherlands? I've got close to an 11 inch before,

and I bet you're, have as well. Have you never had one that stands up? You've got close to an 11 inch. You've got close to an 11 inch. You've never had one that stands up out of the water and you flush it and the water just recedes around and comes back look and doesn't move. You just think that is fantastic.

You are tall. You are tall. I've got a lot of... You are tall. You are tall. I've got a lot of intestine to get around. So much intestine. Isn't it so great?

Chloe's goes down two streets. Thank you. Thank you for saying that. My shit goes down to. No, you're intestine. Have you ever had a double flush? I'm mainly, I'm mainly looking to my brow on this one. A double flush.

Just like, because it's that big. Well, you know, it's that big. You go, I better go, I better flash halfway for it just in case. Oh, drop and flush. Love a drop and flush. Another drop and flush. Drop and flush. Another drop.

If I'm trying to not drop. Smell, I'll drop and flush. Sorry. No, I'm trying to relate. I'm not like a dainty princess with little shit. Like, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I'll, I'm shit like the rest of them. You know what I mean? I can, I'll come.

Mine are, mine are quite sloppy. Okay. I think I've got, I've got, I've talked about it quite a lot. Yeah. So it's been a while since I had a stretchy long one. Right. Hard. Okay, well I hope that that's in your future for you.

Thank you. I feel like I'm now like Parkinson or something. I've got these. I know. Tell me more about your shit. Yeah, sloppy. This is absolutely, this was his main line of questioning apparently. They had to cut it from all the shows and then ask about people's lives and childhoods,

but it was mainly, he was obsessed with shit apparently. Well, we all do it, so why not talk about this? I am recently, world exclusive this. I've recently found out that I've got anemia So I've went on the iron tablets And that's really done a number on my shits Black? Yeah, black

You're an inite I'm anemic I'm anemic But everyone was like You're going to be constipated I was like it's the absolute opposite for me Really? Just absolutely shooting out black sheds

Oh my God God almighty There's something about you too That just makes me so low brow Yeah, thank you Sorry. Welcome to the absolute scum of the world. Well, Michelle, I'm annoyed.

We all do it, you're right? We all like talking about monkey stuff. I don't know what everyone's problem is. Oh, we're seven years in. If you don't like talking about shit or hearing about shit, they left. They've gone. Like, we've weeded out.

They've gone. The real ones are here. But we have to go. I could talk about buttists and shit. I could talk with you forever. Do you want to go for dinner or something? Yeah. What a lovely thing to say.

Yeah. Do you know how many friends I've made off this podcast? And I'm not even joking. Name number of step Was she one of them No just like actual I was like two friends actually It's not even that many

That's just terrible Yeah it's actually embarrassing Which ones Stevie Martin Did Tasmaster over there Isn't she the best Went Edinburgh fringe Love her so much

Fatia who I did Taskmaster with She went to the French love her Two friends off Tasmasters Joanne McNally came on the podcast And now we're theatre buddies Who we go to shows together Yeah we do We got a theatre.

Ask me how many friends I've made from this podcast. None. Got enough friends, mate. No, but that's what... Made four friends when I was growing up. Yeah. Lock the door. Kick the ladder down.

Shut the hatch. It's really sad, isn't it? I love being my mate. I like making friends as well. Yeah, I find it very... I'm gonna befriend you. Yeah. Look, look.

Why not me? Why am? Because you're easy. You're easy. I've already, mates. Yeah, you're easy. Okay. But I'm going to befriend you.

We're going to go for a pint. Footie. You like foot foot foot. It doesn't like football. I don't like football theatre I'll keep trying gym I see in the gym

yeah yeah well we'll make some joy yeah got me on golf got me on gym got me on gym do you want to play golf together and Lego

I'll play golf shut up you play golf shut up you play with you I'm not playing with you I'm not playing me then you got to be good what can we do together um knitting

no I'm not girly oh okay um alright then fight fighting going out of the town and fighting we'll get pissed and we'll get pissed because we'll get really pissed and we'll have a tab together

I'll have a tab together outside show yeah but I might vomit because the last time I had a cigarette when I was drunk. I was just sick. Yeah. Good.

Yeah. Well, hope you get a couple of butsus, you're fucking dicks. We've got a goal. We're getting the... You're allowed to come as well. You just don't want to. I'm not coming on.

I won't make them any more friends. I won't make any more friends. I refuse to make any more friends. I think everyone's wasting time. Guys, we've got to go. I don't want to fight anymore. Bye. Bye.