Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Please Keep Me Anonymous with Daniel Sloss

Episode Date: April 29, 2026

On Shagged Married Annoyed this week Chris and Rosie Ramsey are joined by the fantastic comedian Daniel Sloss! They discuss what being ‘hard’ means now and how comedians don’t quite manage it. Daniel explains why his show Jigsaw broke up so many relationships and the trio get deep over messages from the Universe. For tickets to Daniel's tour visit Danielsloss.com You can find Daniel's Live Shows 'Dark' and 'Jigsaw' at Netflix.com If you want to get involved and have your stories and voice notes included on the podcast, then get in touch! 📧: [e-mail] 📱: 07874 406650 Enjoy all these episodes on the Shagged Married Annoyed YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@shagged.married.annoyed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Level up your business with FedEx, the new power move. Hello, you are listening to and maybe even watching. Chad Marriedenoid, please keep me Anonymous. This week we are joined by wonderful comedian Daniel Sloss. Chris has known him for years the talk about the past. It's lovely.

Rizzi enjoys it a lot more than she implied in her tone there. No, honestly. It's just great. Is this this our job? It's crazy, isn't it? We're so lucky. It's like a little stroll-down memory lane

with so many of the people we get on here. And if you're not familiar with Dan Sloss, he's got two shows on Netflix under the title of Daniel Sloss live shows, two amazing shows. And he's going on tour, right? He is going on tour with his show called Bitter for tickets to visit.

Danielsloss.com and he's going on a global tour for all of our listeners and watch us from around the world is go, hang on here, where's he going? Iceland, Australia, New Zealand, Singapore the United States of America, Germany, Switzerland and more.

More? Is there more? What the fuck? That's all. I'm sure that's every country. I was happy to name them all. Could have put them on. It must be. It'd be a long old podcast if we did that. Please continue to like and subscribe. If you're watching on YouTube, be amazing if you subscribe. We'd really appreciate that. And also, most importantly, enjoy.

We had a fight about the jingo, jingo. We couldn't settle on a jingo, jingo. So this is the jingo, jingo, we hope you like the jingo, jingo. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadu, babadu, ba jingo! We run away and cry when there's violence. In cases are starting now, we're just talking about people being hard. But I actually love that you said hard, because that took me back massively at our youth when you would actually,

you still say that. Do you still say, oh, he's really hard? He's hard as nails, yeah. He's the hardest in your nine. Yeah, yeah. Or if somebody was mental back in the day, mental meant hard as well.

There was a guy in my year who was like really tall and so lovely, but like all the lads would be like, he's hard as fuck. Yeah, just. I know exactly what I mean. He's a gentle,

very well-spoken lad and I remember hearing that he was hard as fuck and being like, really? Yeah. Because he's, is lovely. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but they'd be like, no, he's hard for. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He once got robbed and then he fought and he beat them up.

No, no, no, I know that story. This was a true story. I know, that's a different person I think. It was the same one. It was the same school. No, we went to the same college and we literally grew up in the same place. We met first time when we were like 30 or something. I remember this story. Remember you telling me this story. So we're from South Shield and we grew up at our schools were like 10 minutes walking distance from each other and we're in the same year at school. So we've know like all the same people. It kind of orbit each other for years.

But the guy were talking about, someone attacked him, someone tried to mug him and attacked him. And he ended up getting the better of them and then taking them to hospital. He took them to hospital and dropped them off at A&A. He's like the nicest man. Yeah, yeah. I love that. If you beat somebody up but like you're nice about when you have to.

Like when I talk about, Kai only ever beats up people who needs to be beating up. Right, okay. Good. He's only ever knocked out people who were being a problem. He's a hero. This is Kai who supports you on tour, who I've known for years as well from our first. He's a comedian. He's from the northeast.

He's a lovely heart of gold, Kai. Yeah. Heart of gold. Yeah, yeah. Also, you know, scum. Hey, you're talking to scum. You're talking to scum. I know, but your scum who worked your way.

I've seen your house. He's so... I'll love you, mate. I don't know him. If he's scum, I'll take that. Scum. He once ran. Did you over do his...

This is... Why did I forget what this? Kai once ran comedian's charity. in a social club in Camlington. I've never met them. I don't think, genuinely, have I met him? No, but you've talked about,

when you've talked about you guys. So basically what's happening, we're getting loads of people on this podcast and Chris just knows everyone from years ago, like the same as yourself. So I've heard so many of the stories and I have heard about the boxing. I think that's why I feel like that long about.

All of them did, because comedians are such fucking nerds and we're such nerd and we'd love to be the hard guy but none of me are. Like I did Brazilian Jitu now and I think I'm hard as fucking. I'm not. I will run from any bother. but when all these comedians got a chance

to do charity boxing in a social club of the war like yeah so many of it Adam Rowe did it like so many comedians did it and they did it to rate it was for a good cause it was to raise money for a kid called Kean who had neuroplastoma this like uncurable brain thing and like getting him out to America

was going to cost millions that they obviously couldn't afford going up there and Kai and his brother just chose to take it upon themselves to raise the money and they raised so much money and so much like publicity from the charity boxing they didn't make their goal but Simon Kilwell found out about it paid for Keane to go over

fully cured Keen his lives and that today all granted like the most miraculous story like beat the odds Kai after all this this is beautiful Kai's got a special about it right which he filmed in some working minds club in Newcastle where he's talking about

saving this kid's life and doing all this and he's never met Keen and at the end of that show they brought Keen out in a I could cry. Oh man, the video, I was in the room. We all sobbed. Wow. They bring out, and I had no idea

Kian was going to be in the box. You open the box, he burst into tears, Keyes crying. It's such a good, it's watching. Right, what the fuck? Right, what the fuck? Because why the fuck? We started the story about,

knocking people out. No, but... But that's what we're saying. All the hard ones are the really nice ones. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, it is. Why did you just tell me about the boxing match? He never told me about the actual hard-off story.

Oh, I'll let you off. Sorry, it's amazing. He's a, he's a original comedy. Night was called punch drunk comedy. I just thought it was a natural progression from the fucking comedy night. Oh, that's beautiful. If who do you think, right,

is the hardest male comedian in the UK? Do they have to be famous? Probably better if people might know who they are, but not... Who's hard? I mean, we're all... I remember Russell Howard. I don't know if he's hard. I remember there was like the years when he was on Mock the Week

and he was the young one and then just he went away for like, a summer and came back and we were all like, oh, muscle. Oh, what happened to you? And he's, oh, I remember like, a heterosexual man, very, well, you know, I also find another bit of attractive.

I'm not afraid of that. I've seen Russell, I would have a brother shut off, and I've gone, oh, I mean, I'm, I get it. At the end of this episode, we bring a box out and Russell Howard's in a few. Oh, my God. Contain yourself. I just get it.

It's not even him getting out. Listen, we are obsessed with the fact that, and I'm sure you've talked about us before, but I don't know if any of our listeners and viewers, indeed, the fact of how many relationships you've broke up with your... Was it a jigsaw that did this? So you've got a standard special called jigsaw,

you're two-ed it all over the world, and then you're on... It's on Netflix. Yes, and when I was touring it on the road, I would see people breaking up during the show. Like, never verbally. but it's like, you know, if you can see like the front couple of roses

as a stand up couples would come in and they'd be touching each other, holding each other's thighs and playing with each other's hair and then I would get to like this bit at the end where I was talking about why I was single at the time and you know why I got out my previous relationship

and you would see people's body language like changing. You would see like one of the, like normally wouldn't be laughing harder than the guy and then like one of them would go to the toilet and not come back and then we'll be sort of looking over the shoulder. Oh my God. And so I was keeping a tally while touring it for how many people

would message me afterwards saying they'd broken up. And then when the Netflix special came out, it went. Crazy. Explain to our listeners, just in case they haven't seen it. What was the... Because we get a lot, obviously we have a couple. We do the podcast together as couples. So tell us what the practice is.

I was in a very unpleasant relationship when I was 24 years old. I've been a family where there's like no divorces. Everyone gets married and that's what I wanted for my life. And because of that, I sort of kept forcing myself into relationships that, you know, weren't good for me. But I was just, it was better than being alone. It was better than being single. And I was always thinking of that way. I'd rather be in a relationship than than be by myself.

And then I got out of a very horrible relationship. And I sort of realized that was the wrong way to approach it. So I wrote very sort of better angry, I think not just angry at my ex or angry at myself, but like angry at like the pressure of, you know, society saying you need to be in a relationship. It was meant to be like a love letter to single people. And so I speak about how I feel. felt afterwards in this analogy that my dad told me when I was very, very young. And it turns out it's like, it's like, it's very well, it doesn't break up any good couples.

But it's, it's, it's, we'll see. Yeah. I would say it's like the ring for toxic relationships. Right. And, you know, there's people who've watched it who, if you watch it was, if you watch it with your soulmate, you still find it funny. Like, it reaffirms everything that you believe. Like, I've watched it with my wife.

And I'm like, I still believe. everything I say in this and I'm still very, very happily married. But if you're in a crab relationship, one of my favorite things people would do is normally be girls would like four girls would decide that their one friend needed to see this special because they hate the boyfriend. And then they're like, hey, Jenna, come right. You got to watch this. You'll love it.

And then like for 40 minutes, it's stand up. And then for that last 20 minutes, it's me doing the, the, the camera and just all. of their friends being like, so shall we talk about Stuart? And then they all come to my show and they're like, you saved us. It's great, I love it. Oh my God.

Oh, I've done. That's fucking beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. I think we'd be all right. We get told a lot of the time that way goals, don't we? We don't think we are. We get on well.

We do. I think we're doing all right. Oh, we do. Oh, I love you to death. I think we, like, we were saying recently, I think if, like, the fact that I look forward to when the kids are older and we get to spend a bit more time together

and like I'm looking, don't get me wrong, I love the kids young and we'll be devastated when they get older. But I think if you can't see past that point of your relationship and if you can't see the future and think we're gonna be able to go to cafes and we can stay up late.

We used to stay up to 2 o'clock in the morning we talk about this all the time. We used to just watch films really late we haven't done that for years. So I'm looking forward to that. Stick a film on at midnight. Yeah. Oh my God.

What are you doing? A nine o'clock movie star We put casino on last night It's half seven And we were like This is fucking madness It was off by night The telly broke

Do I'm like we're trying to stream it And the telly kept right and I was like Chris I'm not I'm done now Like it's a hotel She said It's the universe saying go to sleep I don't believe in favour That would very much be in like

God has decided as an atheist God has decided It is where I belong Are you atheist? Yes absolutely yeah Have been for I mean yeah I would say

in my 20s I was an annoying one. Like I would have, like, I would have been like the, the neck beard hum actually. You were the Jehovah's witness of. Yes, yeah. Not going on people's doors explaining why they should be in this. Exactly. I took everyone else's religion as like a personal affront.

You were a bit like that. Yeah. I really don't know now. I'm going to be honest with you. Yesterday I had an incredible out-of-body experience. This is not made up. This is on the train yesterday. about the fucking, this is about the sushi.

Oh God, it's not, it's got nothing to do with religion. It's not. He's going to think you're fucking stupid. He's going to think I'm Jesus. He's going to think of Jesus. Look, I'm open now. It's one of the most profound things I tell. Death is around the corner.

I got a sushi thing, right? It was a California Dragon Roll, crispy, right? I opened it on the train. I put the little sauce on. I put the crispy onions on. I ate two bits of sushi. Fine. Nothing going on.

Fine. I've never had a bone in sushi in my life ever. I've never had a bone in sushi. And I picked up this bit of sushi. I couldn't see a bone. And I just thought, imagine, in my head, I thought, imagine if you got it bone, but you had the crispy onions. So you didn't realise it was a bone and you just kept chewing it. I put it in my mouth, a bit, a fucking bone,

about an inch and a half long. Longer than the sushi. Dude, it went in, in, in, down, in through me gum. And like, you know in a cartoon when they put a stick in a, crocodile's mouth. And I got like, and I was like, and I went, oh, it must be crispy, on it, a bit a bit more,

and it pushed further down, and I put my hand in, and I pulled a fucking, mate, it was fucking that long, right? Pulled it out, and it was about a cent me that in at me gum. I pulled it out, and I put down, I thought, I'd just envisage that before it happened.

Okay, that's, that's probably, like, universe stuff. That's not Jesus. Yeah, I made that water. I meant that water. I couldn't turn that water in wine. I know this stuff goes. on in other parts of the world, but this will really fuck with Chris. Babadoo, Babadoo, Babadu, Babadu, ba.

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Via rail. Love the way. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. How can you quit? That's not nothing to do with religion. It's spooky. It's spooky. Okay, then it's spooky then it's like, it's witchy and like, all that kind of stuff.

It's not, it's not God. I don't know. I'll give you one that as an atheist that freaks me the fuck out, right? So I was atheist from a young age. I had a sister that passed away when I was seven, she was five. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. So from then I was just sort of like, there's no God, there can't be, no way.

Yeah. Yeah. My mom lost her faith there. My dad had always been an atheist. And then, like, I'm talking about five or six years ago. I'm driving through Edinburgh. I've got the radio on and Robbie Williams Angels come on

Now Angels is what my mum says My sister's song It's like that was played at a funeral Whenever that comes on My mum always thinks about her sister She loves to that song So whenever I hear that song I think of my sister

I'm in the car Angels come on I turn to my wife And I go She had my girlfriend at the time I'm like oh this is my sister's song And I tell Kara about it And she goes

Oh when did your sister die And I was like I couldn't tell you the day I know the year But I couldn't tell you the day So I phoned my mum up And I was like, she's thinking about Josie. And my mom went, it's her birthday today.

And I was like, oh, really? She was like, yeah, today is her birthday. And I was like, no fucking way. I'm sorry. I'm holding me crying. I'm a huge, I'm a huge believer in like, in all of that. Yeah, that's brought up Catholic. Yeah, but look, as I, that's one where I'm like, that's a hell of a hell of a.

To reaching it. Yeah. I'm telling you, you get some sushi this afternoon. You will be in the church by Sunday. I swear God, you will be body of Christ and all that by Sunday. You wake up to the news tomorrow that I die from a fishbone in my throat. You're like, oh, no, I got the wrong message. You know what happens?

It's like it'll undo Thanos, like all them couples will get back together the day he dies. It's all back. It's all back. They all just come back. Oh, no! His power's dwindled! A bunch of kids only getting one Christmas now. I think that's beautiful

I just think that's true I just think it's true I just think it's really really true like but then when my granddad passed away like we were reaching a bit I think there was certain things that happened and we were like it's him and looking back

it probably wasn't the whole family every time you don't know this but the whole people who listen to the podcast regularly will know every time any family member sees a feather oh it's grandad Jimmy was he a bird every time you say a feather

if you say a white feather to usually somebody who's passed away ask us a... Fucking hell, pillow, what a pillowifies me every sort of.

Ask us what the pillows are filled with in our house? Ask us how many pillows are on our sofa? How many pillows are on your soul? Easily ten. Lots of,

lots of souls in your house. This is the grandadjimmy reunion every day. How are young? This is your grandad Jimmy Moshpit? How are youngest? Obviously, never ever met Grandad Jimmy.

To the point where I was me nanos recently and I went oh look who that is and I pointed out a picture of me Granitejim and he went Granite Derek my dad I was like no that's Granite Jimmy too well but he's at the point now where there'll be a feather and he's like you're sitting on Grandad Jim it's fine you go through them they're ghosts it's fine it's

it's just gone too far it's actually gone a bit too far but I know I really like stuff like that I think I don't know it's comforting I guess at the time and yeah that for me is the bit about the reason I'm less angry as an atheist now is I'm like you know if any I've seen so much of faith now is just being a comfort for people.

I always sort of saw it as an, I always saw religion from its like a tacky side where it's all about conversion, whatever. Once you get older, you sort of realise the inner peace it brings a lot of people. No, it can be. There's awful religions. Like, some of them are fucking disgusting. All of them, most of them have the awfulness in them. Exactly.

I'm not sticking up for mine either. Yeah, there's a lot of war and killing behind every single one of them. Oh, God, yeah. Don't like that. If it's helped someone get through something or it's someone's comfort. Yeah. I'm really selfish. I get jealous of it. Like, you know, I envy the idea of heaven.

I would love to believe that once I die, there's like, there's my sisters up there and my family, my grand and all that. I would love, oh yeah, but if they're there, I'm fucked Rosie. No, why? What do you mean? Because I'm not getting up there. Yes, you are.

I've been bitching about the can for the past 15 years. They love that, though. No, he loved that at the Pearly Gates and be like, look, we forgive you. They love all that shit. But when I get up there, forgive me, because that's what he's like. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, just got up there but like, so's me. Didn't you do a lot of the anti- religion stuff in America? Yes. A lot of shit. Yeah, a gun pulled on me in Indianapolis.

A gun pulled on me. Not like aimed at me, but like very, like somebody with just a gun on them was like, oh, you know, I don't like, I don't like that and I have ways of dealing

with things that I don't like. Oh my God. Yeah, they're crazy out there. Oh, wow. You go everywhere. Like, you know, I mean, just, we've got a thing for you too. Oh, yeah.

You go absolutely I can't be awed Like I can't be awed Because there's that thing where No that's bullshit You're scared in case no one goes Yeah there's that as well There's that thing where you go from doing

2,000 a thousand seats that's here Then you go all right I'm doing 50 seats in Antwerp Yeah, of course Yeah yeah yeah It's working and going back And you've slogged for years And I always tell people this

What I find so impressive About how you've done what you've done I remember when me and you were first starting out At the same kind of time And we did a couple of panels shows at the same time. And I remember you going, I fucking hate them. I'm not going to do them. And I remember going, in my head, I'm like, okay. And then sort of quietly, I'm like, good look, dickhead, because that's the only way of doing it. And you circumvented all the traditional ways of doing

stand-up and now you're selling out venues all over the world and you've got Netflix specials without doing any of the normal route, which I always find really impressive. Oh, thanks, man. Really impressive. I think I might have pitched that in a way there was a drill. I think I wasn't getting invited back. I was shit on the panel shows. Because I loved them. I grew up watching 8 or 10 cats. So when I did 810 cats for the first time, I was at front row in my favourite fucking TV show that I was growing up.

It took care. My first time I did 8 or 10 cats, I, for the first 10 minutes, ate shit. Which is like, I tried three of my best jokes. Nothing was good, really, really bad. And it was, I lost full confidence. And like, I stopped. I was just going, you know what,

I'll just laugh all the jokes. And it was Jason Manford. Like, you know, you got the jokes written in front of you. He leans over during one of of Jimmy's other questions and just taps on one of my jokes three lines down and I'm sort of like, what's what's he doing?

And then in the next beat, he sets me up perfectly for that joke. Oh my God, I love that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then I got to come in with the punchline, big laugh. That gets me back on site. Jimmy's bringing me into more stuff.

Yeah, yeah. That's, Jason's a good one. Yeah, Jason's, yeah. He's a good idea. But I was, I worked out pretty pretty, look, I like talking about dark, offensive, horrible things. Like I kind of show route.

was, you know, part of me always wanted to do it because that's why I grew up watching stand-up-wise, I just never fucking fit that formula. I'm too miserable. But as well, though, you've got to remember, I say this to you all the time. Chris, when you first started comedy and when

we met each other, you weren't about, you were loud and young. Yeah. We were not kids. You were young and loud and obnoxious and probably to a producer who's in their 50s, really fucking irritating. Yeah, I was so far up her arms. You know what I mean?

Yeah, that's the thing. And that's, yeah. I don't know how much you look back on your 20-year-old self and go, I'd love to go back in time and batter him. I've got a line in my current to her, see, what a stupid, I can't watch the clip where I got kicked off soccer AM. I can't watch it anymore because it's so, it's so embarrassing. And my exact line is, stupid fucking punchable head.

That's my exact line that I say about my face. Because there's a bit where I say the thing on soccer aim that I shouldn't have said that they all get upset. upset about and I'm laughing and I can't get the grips with the fact that they're not laughing and I'm like I can't watch it I'm like you are just a fucking you're just a young man I think you've got you've got to you've got to forgive people like you don't know the world like yeah never had a fucking mortgage bill like we were just seeing this outside before we came in like I'm the same I you said it I didn't know who I was until a few years ago yes I literally didn't know who I was

and you said you were you spent your 20s pretending to be loads of different people yeah yeah and then I met my wife yeah and then you know, and then they're just like, oh, but here you are. This is what you are, you're dumb idiot. You're dumb, you were right here, the whole. Yeah, we'll bring out the best. You're totally right.

Taste a good woman to shine a light on you and go, no, this is what you are, yeah. I've said, sorry. No, no, no, you go. I was going to say, we do this for you. What do you do for us? I eat box pretty good. Okay. All right. That's fine. Fair. Fair.

That's a, that's a, that's a fair trade. That's a fair trade. I'll take that. Ethan Wurge you wants it. Anytime, baby. I love you. This episode is brought to you by Tell Us Online Security. Oh, tax season is the worst. You mean hack season? Sorry, what? Yeah, cybercriminals love tax forms. But I've got Tellus Online Security. It helps protect against identity theft and financial

fraud so I can stress less during tax season or any season. Plans start at just $12 a month. Learn more at talus.com slash online security. No one can prevent all cybercrime or identity theft. Conditions apply. Babadoo, babadoo, babadu, babadu, ba. So bitter is the two are now. Yes.

Yes. What's bitter? Me. Really? Yeah. Are you better? Yeah. You're seeing bitter.

Are you seeing more chill than you've ever been? I know, but that's therapy and stuff. Right. Yeah. Yeah, of course I do therapy. I have to do therapy. just, you know, my brain is a prison of my own making and like part of like being an adult

I don't want my kids to grow up with the inner monologue that I have I would like them to have a better sort of compassionate understanding of themselves so I'm sort of, I go to therapy to try and work out why I am the way I am. Well, do you not think it's because you experienced a lot of trauma as a child from losing your sister? Not to get too deep but I think you're allowed to... have a little bit of a, you know, a certain amount of anger in you. I think that's a really hot. And your parents obviously went through it

and you had to live in the house of that. And I think that might be what it is. And that's okay. Thank you. I think I'm trying to work if it is that because I think because a big part of me explored the death of my sister and my stand-up and stuff, it really felt like I'd had this sort of cathartic way of like dealing with it

and processing it and whatnot. And then sort of now, you know, because I don't know if you've ever been to therapy, but my therapist says almost nothing every session. Yeah. Like it's just, they're so quiet. They can just get shit out of you by just, you know, forcing narcissists like us

to sit in a room full of silence. When I'm in a quiet room, when I'm with someone who doesn't talk much, I fill that gap. Yeah. You love therapy. Chris could. I really adore it, yeah.

Yeah, I think it's great. But I fill the silence and I just, I'll just keep digging. Yeah. I'll just keep digging and digging and digging. It's, yeah, you're right. it's when a bit of us. And then you pay them at the end.

And you're like, fucking having all that. What are you talking about? What do you mean? Give you money. Much of a facilitator. They're like them. You know,

the barriers that you get on bowling alleys where they stop me going down. They're like that. They just guide you all the way down. Do you know what? Big love to therapists. Like the stuff they have to go home. Well, they have to go to therapy.

Yeah, they do. Yeah. Yeah. Each other. Yeah. I wonder if they, I wonder if like when they go with therapy together, whether it's like,

I was in green rooms where they just start trading like the worst. Yeah. because I mean there's so many times I'll bring stuff up and just be like I know there is client doctor confidentiality

but I do reckon she's going to be like I got a fucking doozy today this little narcissist grows up in a small coastal town in five becomes famous in his own head oh I did too much drug in my 20s these fucking white boys

they bore me and now he's bit Yeah, oh, he's angry. Oh, the world was handed to me on a platter and I'm not happy. She must fucking hate me. I hate me. That's why I'm there. I hate me.

Where do you live now? Still in Edinburgh. Oh, I love that. Aye. Yes. Like a big thing for me. I love Adam, but first of all, first of all, first of all, it's one of, it's top five cities in the entire world.

It's very easily. Easy. And also, I mean, so much of my. career was people being like you have to move to London you have to move to New York you have to move to L.A. And I was just like, I just think all of those places are going to treat me different where and if I, and if you treat me different

I'll become different. Yeah, like you change. Yeah, all that stuff I know goes to my head. Like when I was getting small amounts of fame in my 20s I was letting that run. Havoc on my brain. If I moved to L.A. and thought I was the tits, I would have been the worst person alive.

Staying in Scotland. You do are very similar. We're very similar He's not very similar Yeah I need Scottish people Who people I know people complain like tall poppy syndrome

I think a lot of the time What tall poppy syndrome is And people trying to fucking cut you down It's a reality check Yeah it's reality check Being like hold on What is this you're doing? What's this?

Like that's a great way for you to be We understand why you have to be that way sometimes But 24 for second Pack 9 Yeah Yeah Come back down to the human level Where you're from by the way

And stop treating us different And I've had that reality check so many times in Scotland and so many times from my wife as well where I'm just like I'm not leaving a place that gets me Nothing better than a living reality check Yes, yeah

Sometimes. Under the same roof Yeah, yeah, sometimes too accurate Sometimes you're like I need the frequency of this down Like I'm sometimes cutting if anything Yeah, yeah I was already having a bad day love

Sometimes on the days when you're being your most normal But yeah, I've often said If I moved to London when I was just getting a bit of fame And just doing a bit of stuff I think I'd have been a fucking monster. Yes. Yeah, yeah, I think I would have, yeah, I don't think I'd have turned out the way I wanted to turn out.

I'm very, I think you're right, tall poppy syndrome, it's like a, yeah, reality chat, like a little reset button. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think it's like, you know, maybe don't do do dog Bobby syndrome to fucking, like, footballers or athletes, but to like anyone in the arts,

come on, how big your ego get and your little artist grow up? But as well, don't you think with what you guys do with being stand-up comedians, you still need to live a relatively normal, life amongst normal people and like a lot of your comedy is what do you call it

what's the fucking term for it? Observational. Observational. That's the one. Observational comedy. If you lived a different life and not amongst working class people who are buying your tickets they wouldn't relate there at all. Yeah, yeah. It's good that you go to same reason. The guy always says you look really tired. Like it keeps you ground. Keeps you ground.

Love that guy. It's like when John Bishop came back from being really famous and started doing stories about all the celebrity parties he went to those were interesting stories. They weren't as good as John Bishop doing his stand-up about his childhood and fatherhood and stuff. Like, yeah, I hundred percent agree. So you've got to be... So the only celeb stories that are put in my show

which I've got in the current two I'm doing now are fucking disasters. Like, they're the only ones that I go, you go, look, this might not be fully relatable, but this is a show you've seen and this is how much of a fucking cluster fucking cluster, so that makes, yeah, yeah. You've got to lose. No, you've got to lose your big stories. There's a comic, you've got to lose your big stories. You can't win you

big stories. You can't have, I was at this massive showby's party and I was the funniest guy there and I said, no, no, no, I've got to be on a big TV show and it's got to be a fucking disaster. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've had a few of them. You've got a story for us. Yeah, we don't know what this is. We've got no idea what this is, pal. I'm excited. I feel like they might have picked a dark one for you. He does, he got, that's the deepest we've ever got by the way, chatting to a guest. You bring it out in people. It's all I do. It's the black t-shirt. I love it, though. Is it the eyes? Yeah, yeah. It's because I'm not actually

funny, so I have to. I have to take people down to sadness to drive. I rack them out of that. I love it. Chris tells me off all the time because I go really deep on our podcast. I just can. I just love dark, deep, emotional, raw conversation. And Chris is like, I put me in, hate it. I think the only reason why all these subjects are to boot is because people don't talk about them. By not talking about them, you give them more power than they deserve.

Oh, beautiful. Well done. That therapy is really work wonders on you. And it's worth everything. My therapist is probably watching this being like, shut the fucking, therapy. Stop deforming therapy. I've never in my life seen someone applaud someone's therapy. That is one of the weirdest things.

Oh, if you move to L.A., you see it every fuck. Oh, really? That's all. Yeah. Hi, Chris and Rosie. Please keep me anonymous. I'm a dog walker, and I've walked this dog for three years. I have a key.

I am basically part of the infrastructure of this household. The owners know I arrive between 10 a.m. and half past one in the afternoon. This is not a surprise. window. So, I rock up, unlock the door, remove the wellies while it's giving a little whistle so that if anyone's home, they know I'm there. Silence.

But I think nothing of it, the dog must be in the kitchen. A push open the kitchen door. There's the husband, mid, very obviously not making a sandwich with a woman who is not the wife, not even slightly, not a sister, not a neighbour borrowing

sugar, a full-blown this will require solicitor's situation. We all freeze. The woman attempts to crouch As if she's going to camouflage herself Into the laminate flooring And the dog The dog is sat there

Like she's watching East Ender's life No one says anything We are locked in a standoff And everyone's half dress And I'm holding a poo back And instead of leaving Instead of screaming Instead of pretending I've lost my vision

I sat Oops, I'll just grab her Like I've interrupted a tea party I am clipping the lead on While this man is scrambling for his dignity and then I say sorry sorry why am I apologising

why am I like this why is British DNA weren't to apologise during active betrayal I left the house shaking still to this day I walked the dog and four times a week

and pretend that nothing has happened no way man turns out the big dogs in the house that's the fucking biggest dog they never actually said that they were shacking though so I didn't know what there was happening at one point I thought

what's going on they said something about solicitors and I'm thinking is he murdered who's getting murdered? You shagging? It's shagging. It's shagging. Well done for, oh, so if you're saying this in, well done for avoiding the obvious

doggy style joke that me and Chris were just looking at each other waiting to be like, who's going to get there for us? Who's going to do it? I was hoping they were going to say something about him eating out of a box and I'd have gone you'd claim fate now, bitch. Thank you God. Can I just say, I am not condoning

cheating in any way, shape or form? Good. But 10 in the morning till half on the afternoon is a fucking massive window for you to just turn up with my house and get the dog.

Oh yeah, it's got to be a half an hour. I'll be there between 10 and half one. What are you fucking DPD? Right? Yeah. I can't do me, I can't do my... What's it? Illicit shagging. Yeah.

I've got to... Before 10 and after half one. Also, look, again, cheating is gross, don't ever do it. You can't be doing it at your own home. Are you fucking mental? Are you mental? Not with your own dog watching. Because that dog knows.

Are you mental? There's one. The dog says you're cheating. Yeah. That dog knows. That dog's, you've made that dog an accomplice. Also, the dogs are going to be nice to you.

Dogs only like good people. Yeah, that is true. That's true. They're pretty good. Oh, Hilary. Pretty sure hit her a dog. Yeah. Oh, did he have a dog.

Yeah. Fuck. Yeah, but he was a horrible dog. He was an oval. He was nasty dog. Yeah. It was an evil dog. One of them dogs off resident evil were no skin on that.

Yeah, yeah. It was one of them's all the dust. He was a horrible dog. What a fucking dog. What a fucking. What a fucking bit to end on. I know. Good God.

Thank you. He brings it on people. I love it though. I could do it all right. There's never been mentioned on this podcast until now. This is Daniel Sloss. This is Daniel Sloss 1-1.

That's fine. Good to see you, brother. You too. Thanks so much for having me. Thanks so much for coming on. That's all. Yeah.