Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Please Keep Me Anonymous with Ed Gamble

Episode Date: June 17, 2026

On this week's podcast Chris and Rosie are joined by comedian, podcaster and TV Host Ed Gamble! As well getting nostalgic about their Edinburgh Days, the trio discuss star signs, Real House Wives and Rosie reveals why she thinks she is addicted to her extended family... Ed talks about his upcoming tour Fresh Hell, his new TV Series Unacceptable and he reads one of your horrible stories! For tickets to Ed's tour visit edgamble.co.uk You can watch Unacceptable on TLC at 9pm from July 5th If you want to get involved and have your stories and voice notes included on the podcast, then get in touch! 📧: [e-mail] 📱: 07874 406650 You can watch the podcast on the Shagged Married Annoyed YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@shagged.married.annoyed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, you are listening and watching Shagmired Anoid. Please keep me anonymous. Part of the Shagmurdenoid extended universe. And we are joined this week by a very good friend of mine, the very talented, very busy and fantastically funny, Ed Gamble. Ed Gamble. I mean, he's just such a lovely fellow, we just had such a good chat. It's nice to hear him being interviewed. Not, I mean, not that way, interview, I say. But, you know, because he hosts so many things, so many podcasts.

Yeah. incredibly funny guy. Just a really good chat, really nice, chilled chat. Yeah, talks about his new tour, which he's got. Yes, he's got new tour.

Fresh Hell, which we'll see him perform more than 60 days across the UK, starting an Ipswich on the 30th of January, 27. I'm sure he's going to add more

all over the place as well. He's also on talking about his new panel show on TLC starts July 5th at 9pm. It's called unacceptable. He explains what it's all about. It sounds great.

Again, I was supposed to go on, but I couldn't fit in my schedule. If they get a second series, I'll be well up for it. I think you'd be good at that. It looks fantastic. Yeah, and it sounds great. So enjoy. And if you're watching this on YouTube, please subscribe.

We'll be very, very helpful indeed. Enjoy, guys. We had a fight about the jingle, jingo. We couldn't set along a jingo, jingo. So this is the jingo, jingo. We hope you like the jingo, jingo. When did you turn 40? In March.

So you're a 1986 baby. 1996 all the way. As are we? Congratulations. Thank you very much. Good year to be born. When are you guys? August.

August. Both of you? Both of us? God, it turns out your twins. That's terrible. August the third. And there's 27 days. Yeah, yeah.

August the 3rd and August the 30th. So it's 03,30. But we're different star signs. Really looking like that means something. Oh, yeah. There is a very, there's a very, There's a very sort of little thing in my head that often goes, oh, we could be related.

We grew up really close to each other. Yeah. Imagine. And that's how it works up there, isn't it? Yeah. It's fine. Keep it in the family. You just don't put it in the book up and cheer it out. And you do look, a lot of people when we first met thought you looked a lot like my brother.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. The plot thickens. Exactly. That's it. At what star sign are you? Pisces. Nice. I knew that.

You should, you strike me as a man. Who doesn't know what star sign here? You strike me as a man who doesn't believe in any of that. No, I don't believe in any of it. But you didn't, you know, you know what it is. Oh my God, at what age do you know your star sign? That's interesting. Like my kids have never asked.

I really, I think early doors, I think I had some sort of framed picture that someone bought me on. I was born. Yeah, I remember. I had a little book of a thing of it all. Yeah. It's just something, you know, before iPads and that, it's just something to just run them through. Do you know what I mean?

Oh, there's a thing about star signs. Have a look at your book again. Stop crying and look at your star sign book. I used to have a star sign book. Every day. Did you? It was every day. What star signs are you?

I'm a Virgo. And what does that mean? I'm a bitch. Oh, perfect. I'm a bitch. I'm a boss. No, but I'm very loyal. fiercely loyal.

Virgo's, Virgo is like top serial killers of the world of Virgo's, but also like. What, weird that you're led with, that. I know, is we are that I led with that. Just like, not horrible people, but we'll get shit done. So you're saying serial killers aren't horrible people. No, they are the horrible people. Say it again for the microphone then. Or serial killers, yes or no. I think they misunderstood. Depends you they're killing. If you think about Dexter. Yeah, Dexter's a good one. He's killing other serial killers.

Yeah, he's doing the good ones. Do you have never seen Dexter? If you're not, it's good. Series four is very good. It goes downhill after that. Yeah. I just remember thinking, I am on series two here and I know it still goes to nine series so I know they don't catch him so I don't care. I think he gets off with his sister towards the end as well so it'd be perfect for you too. Happy days. Happy days. Weren't they married? I think they might have been actually. They got together, got married and got divorced

in the full stretch of that show happened if I remember right now. Are they sister? He's not his sister in real life, he's acting sister. He's on screen sister. He's on screen sister? Fuck me. In real life? In real life they got married in the show they were brother and a sister. Oh God. But also in the show I think

they end up getting together. I like the idea that that was his note to the director. You know what I'm married now? Why don't the carators just... I don't like that. Why the carers just fuck each other as well? But that's disgusting. Yeah, but come on, it'd be easier.

I don't like that. Have you got brothers or sisters? I got half brother, half sister. Nice. Yes. So I've got one complete sibling if you put them together. Oh. Yes.

But I normally just say brother and sister. Yeah. It sounds harsh, doesn't it? Yeah. I've got, so my cousins, children, They're like half sisters, but I would never ever call them half sisters. And your cousins' children are your half siblings? No, half cousins.

They're half cousins. But I just call them my cousins. Yeah, that's... But they're younger than me. But also cousins don't mean anything anyway, do they? Oh. Wow. Well, they're talking with cousins.

You're not got cousins? I've got loads of cousins. I've got... But I'm not like, oh, I better phone my cousins. I see him and like, all right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fine, you know, I got on loads of them growing up. You not got a group chat with your cousins?

No, I don't have a cousins group chat, no. No, okay. I'll see him at family events and I get on with them very well, but I'm not like. Oh, I've got cousins that might as well be strangers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got like, yeah. I'm really close to my cousins. Yeah, I would walk past some of my cousins in the street and I wouldn't have a fucking clue.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They don't know who you are, though? Yeah, that might they would. Yeah. Because they're all bragging, aren't they? Do you think? That's my cousin, they're saying. Oh, that's really sad that you're not close to your cousins.

Oh, fucking, who cares, man? God, almighty. Me? I've got like 25 cousins. Name him. Do you want me to? Oh, Jesus Christ. I want to hear all 24. There could be more than that now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'll go from the top. Yeah. All right. Are you going oldest? I'm going oldest. Yeah. Jimmy, Philip, Dean, Kate, Nina.

There's me. Sophie. You're counting yourself as one of your cousins. No, I'm not. 24. She's got 24, yes. And then there was. was, then there was Sophie,

not my brother, then there was... We're on seven for anyone, King, Cam. Jacob, Millie, and then people started having children, so then there was Lacey, Leila,

Kate. Poppy, Ruby, Anna, he's part of the family now, he's in the group chat. Then there's Tommy, there's Sunny, and there, what am I up to? 15. Did I exaggerate the 25?

You exaggerated by 9, which is really, really embarrassing. No, because I'm not done yet. This is a great podcast, by the way. How often does this happen on podcasts that you're on? I think Guess the Cousins is a whole new format. I think I'm exaggerate the number of cousins. We all do it, don't we all exaggerate our number of cousins. It is also including me and my brother and sister.

So there's three that I've had. miss off. But they're definitely not your cousins. They're definitely not. But they're in the cousin family. They're in the cousin family. Yeah. And I've missed them out that I can't think of. Oh my God. I've got the new four-my. Welcome to the dream restaurant. Cousins are siblings. Josh. I've missed people out. You've missed Josh. Yeah.

That's nice though that Chris knew the name of some of your cousins in the correct order. Oh, they're all hanging about. Charlie can't remember the name of anyone in my family. Excellent. When we go to family occasions, I have to like basically do flashcards before we get them. Or follow a random whisper in her ear. like I'm a royal aide. Yeah, like VEP. Yeah.

And then we came away from a family occasion once and I said, can you remember anyone's names? She's lovely, she gets on with all of them. Oh, she's lovely. Names just don't stay in her head. And I was like, tell me some of the names. And the only one she could remember was Wilf, which is my uncle's dog.

Someone was called Wilf. Yeah, it was the fucking dog. All right, okay. Made an impression. Made an impression. I struggle with names. That's something I do. I'm really seeing.

Not just then. No, well, there's people who've been in my life for a long, long time. I've always been a lot. I've always been about. You're good, the way. Do you play the game? You remember names of people you've worked with

and you're... Yeah, big time. You're the man. You know how to do with us. Chris, Rosie. Yeah. Well done. Daisy.

You're here to talk about stuff that you've got going on. Thank you. You're so good at this. And what a lot of interviews don't do is they don't have that smooth transition from general chat into the plugin section.

And a lot of people won't sound really annoyed to be talking about it and look at their cards at the same time. You're honest with you, Ed, because let's all be honest to you, she just wants it to name your cousins. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've already upset us the fact that you don't speak to any of them. Yeah. I did it now and again, but...

We all live differently. Yeah. And that's fine. Something I'll come to terms of. It makes you sad, doesn't it? It makes you really sad. You hear it when people aren't in each other's pockets. But I often wonder if that's an unhealthy way to live

because do we still, we always say we live in our hometown because it is beautiful, we love living there, but do I live in my hometown because I'm addicted to my family? Addicted to my family. It's a good Jeremy Kyle episode type, isn't it? Yeah, I'm totally addicted to saying me Nana. Like, I'm just, I can't move away because I would like miss everybody so much. But is it holding us back?

I wouldn't be going to rehab for it any time soon because you're going to be very embarrassed when you have to stand up and say, my name's Rosie and I'm addicted to seeing me Nana. Heroin addicts out there like, what the fuck? Heroin addicts sat there who actually sold his Nana. Oh, can I tell you something really quickly? Okay, Ed's here, but yeah, okay.

I can't wait to talk about my stuff, though. We're going to get you to fucking. When you shut up about his stuff. We're talking about how Rosie's addicted to our Nana. How fucking selfish. Thoughtless. Are you coming here to talk about yourself? Disgusting.

Do you think you'd go cold turkey with your nana or would you... It's going to come one day, but yeah. Oh, God. The problem is, right? So I think you should start waning yourself off now. Do what the problem is? The problem is we get people on sometimes who we know very well. We've all worked together.

Me and you go back very long. And Rosie worked with you multiple times. So the professionalism just disappeared. Out of the window. And that's fine. And that's what people want to hear on. You know? I didn't think that was that bad.

You literally went, there was a very implied. You almost went, Oh. Fucking out. What are you doing? No, I need to tell you. I haven't told you this. Okay.

Oh, it's going to sound really shit now, but I'm going to tell you's anyway. It might get cut. I'm obsessed with watching real housewives. Yes, which particular place, any of them? I'm up to date on all of them. If there are women with fake tits screaming, she's watching it.

You didn't come to my event? Because I'm a Beverly Hills head, personally, because that's the best. I would disagree, but that's fine. Are you Orange County? No, still no. I'm in New Jersey. Rother.

Potomac, Atlanta, yeah. If there was a real housewives of like, you know, local shittles should watch it. No, because you need the wealth in there. I'm not going to watch shittles. Right, okay. I like to look at the houses. The UK ones, I'm not.

Okay. Chester or I was not. No, not totally, no. I like the, America just seems that little sort of bit. What's the word? Exotic. It's far enough.

It's just, it's not like, it's not, it's not, is it foreign. No, it's removed. They talk funny, don't they? They do talk funny. Do you know they're steering wheels? There's steering wheels on the other side. No, what you mean is it's far enough removed

where you don't get any kind of personal shame from watching it. Yes. Yeah. But I understand the language. Yes. Yeah. This is, my story is shit, by the way. But on, just talking about like cousins and trauma,

and whatever that, on an episode recently. Didn't mention trauma, but can't. Of Real Housewives, Royal Island, which is really good. Yes, I've heard it's good. Really, really good. One of the ladies, they were doing this thing about when they were talking about what, like, upset them. And one of them was like, I was homeless when I was younger, blah, blah.

One of the ladies got really, really upset because she hadn't had any sort of trauma in her life. But she knew that something was coming. Like, she got. She started crying and getting upset going, nothing bad's ever happened to me, but I know that one day, one day it will. Wow. So getting up to talk about non-descript future trauma.

Because that's scary if you don't know what it's going to be, right? You don't know what to watch out for. Could be much worse than being homeless. Well, the rest of the group did not enjoy it. It seemed very different. That's the kind of thing I would say. I really enjoyed it. It's such a good telly.

That's great. I just love it. I need to get stuck into another. Back to where it's fucking stuff, right? You can't have Beverly Hills. You need a different one. Well, I started Atlanta from the beginning. I need to go back to that because I was enjoying it.

I like Nini Leagues. Yeah, she's not in it anymore. She's just recently sued Bravo. No point in watching it then. She's suing Bravo. Yeah. They all end up suing them at some point. Wow.

Or they don't want to film a show anymore. Was it Denise Thingy who... Denise Richards. When they were filming it, didn't want to be in any of the edits. So she just kept saying Bravo over and over again. Because if you say the name of the network, then they won't put it. it in the edit because it takes you out of it.

But they did keep it in there. They did keep it in there. They sometimes, they've started over the last like five years to break the fourth wall. Wow. Because they never used to, but now they break the fourth wall and they kind of like talk about there's a similar hack. If you ever doing live at the Apollo and you only want them to use

the 10 minutes that you want them to use. The other 10 minutes completely unbroadcastable. Yeah. Yeah. So you go, here's me 10 minutes about, you know, my dog and my car. And here's the 10 minutes about, you know, that time I got my fist caught up my own ass and they're not going to put that out. Yeah, when they might.

I thought we were going to say, just say it Apollo Apollo Apollo, Apollo, Apollo, I love that. They love it. They've got it written 40 foot high letters behind you, man. What I was tempted to do was, you know, when they used to have celebs in the audience and you could be like, oh, chat about them was just to do that even when the celebs weren't there. Exactly, yeah. Linford Christie's in tonight? See if they'll cut to an old, an old footage of Linford Christie.

They'll have to find one. 90s footage with these puma contact lenses. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, ba. Hey, y'all, it's Kelly Clarkson with Wayfair. Ever order furniture online and wonder, what if? Like, what if it doesn't hold up? That sofa was four days old. You should have ordered from Wayfair.

With Wayfair, there's no what if. Just style you love and quality you can trust. Visit wayfair.cair. Wayfair, every style, every home. Babadoo, babadoo, babu, babu, babu. Speaking of the Apollo. Yes. And, uh, performing live in causing your ground to wear.

That would. So much better. That's how it's done. Yeah. I'm looking at a camera. I'm going on tour. Thank you, Rosie. Yep, congratulations.

I'm doing a brand new show called Fresh Hell, starting in late January, 2027. It's a lovely title and I did enjoy the video you put out promoting it as well. With the hat.

You put it again? Yes. Thank you very much. I've not seen it. Well, you're a bar? You're standing in a bar when you did that? Yes, it was in a dive bar

called Blondies, which is a really fun dive bar. I'd only ever been there at like probably 1 a.m. forward from that 1 a.m. You went during the day at the time. I bet it was sad. Oh, God.

It's miserable. When you go to those places in the day? It's horrible. Really gross. You're like, this is where I hang out. You're kidding me. Do you still go out with one o'clock in the morning?

No, it's on the rare occasion that my wife's like, hyped up after like a night out. She's like, come on, let's go for another drink. Nice. I'll come and have a white claw at blondeage. Can't have a full beer.

It's going to unsettle my stomach before beddy buys. Yeah, 40 this year, man. It's grim. It all got done on. Um, what, what's it about? We're not doing what's it about. We can't be doing what's it about. What's it about?

We can't do what's it about. I want to know what stage of life that you're at. You both know that if the show starts in late January, it's currently June. I don't have a fucking clue what it's about. Well, I don't know that. I've got, at the moment, it's about turning 40 and toilet brushes. But that's surely, you know, you start writing a show and you're like,

if that's what it's about by the time I got on tour, I'm in serious trouble. Ed, have you. you learnt nothing from our early years together. Invent a word. Remember my first two... Ed got so much enjoyment out of the fact that we first sure was called agoraphobic. Agrophobic. Invented word.

Second was... Which one was it? Offeration. Offeration, of course. Can you remember what you told me? I had to call me third one? Broly pop. Broly pop. So that was in my head as a genuine show that you did. It was like...

Was it the second or third show that you did broly pop? You've gassed it yourself. What's it, the Mandela Effect? If Mandela Effecting myself, I'm Mandela Effecting myself and so you think he did a show called Broly Pop. What was the first one about it? I never saw that. Agrophobic.

What was it about? It didn't like, avoid confrontation. Oh, thanks, I thought. It's actually very clear from the title, I tell. Agro, phobic. Yeah. How do you? Why are you pulling faces? It was a really good title.

No, when you explain it, but I wouldn't just think, yeah. Agro, you are scared of, are you scared of confrontation? Used to be, hard as fuck now, mate. presumed you to Blue Battle fight anyone I couldn't give a fuck Oh yeah we had a chat about that That's so much to prove He used to be quite sort of

Faye and weak Did he make me? Yeah, that's it, that's what did it Do you know what it was? It was the self-confidence that you get From having so many cousins In your corner I mean like Tyler the Korean

They do they love you He's got like 60 odd ones He's got 60 odd people in Wolfgang Yeah, they're your D12 Yeah yeah yeah they are my D-25 Yeah What was it we were talking about recently? Oh, I'm going to...

Sometimes I go a bit dark. Oh, she tries to kill comedy. No, I don't think it. Sometimes she tries to kill comedy. No, I just sometimes talk about life. Come on. I gamble.com. UK for tickets, by the way.

Oh, nobody cares. They know who you are. You don't want to tell them what it's about it. You don't want to tell them what it's about it. You're right. Look, if people are watching this, they know I exist. Yeah.

And they've probably seen that I'm going on tour. So just can come as they want. This bit isn't going to get clipped up. We're giving them a nudge. We go to the bit. These are, there'll be the funny bit. And then we'll write underneath. All right.

So it'll be the cousins. It'll be the cousins stuff, wouldn't it? It might be the cousins of all the real housewives' stuff. I think he's trying to get it in before you get dark. I think that was supposed. Yeah, that was it. I just wanted to, before you bring the mood down. I just wanted to get the plug.

I don't have to bring the mood down. Come on, I might as well. I obviously want to hear what you're going to say now. I was it in, I now sometimes can't remember if it's been a conversation in our house or in the podcast studio. Okay. And that's where we're at. That's dark.

That's dark. That's right. That's one of the saddest things I've ever heard in my life. Monetised conversation or was this a real conversation? Was this a wasted conversation or was this one that went awarded the bills? Yeah. Do you ever say to each other in your own house as a married couple, do you ever use the phrase, save it for the pod?

Yes. All the time. So bleak. All the time. It's not that bleak. It's not that bleak because it's, it's, We've got a really nice house. And if I just have to save a little bit of content to share with people, I don't mind.

You see, you never have to talk to each other anyway because you're in separate wings. Do you know what it is? Yeah, exactly. It's the, it's the, we'll be seeing something or someone will do something. And the other one just goes, right, and you go, all right, you're fucking weaponising that one, are you? But I don't know marriage any other way. Yeah, we don't actually, to be fair, it's been nearly the entire time now. we've been married as a podcasting couple longer than we've been married as a non-podcastle couple

do you know that? Oh God, that's... Have we? Yeah. We've been doing this seven years and what we've been married 11 or something. So yeah. More than half-ed maths. Wow.

Come on then. What's you... I think we've been married... I think we've been together and married like 13 years. Okay, well, it's even then we've been podcast together. Again, we'll talk about this afterwards. Other guests must have said this feels like I'm the councillor and this couple of councilmen. Other people must have said this.

Maybe. Yeah. No, or the dark conversation. Come on then. You said that you now, just because you do Brazilian jit-to and because you're like a man or whatever, you wish that somebody would start on you.

Yeah, sometimes I invite it. Come in a bad day. So, fight. So toxic, Chris. Really toxic, really toxic, isn't it? But I said as a woman, that's absolutely the complete opposite of what we think. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, but I mean, this is like he's watched the Louie through documentary and gone, that's a good idea. Yeah. Maybe. Yeah, but I never look for it, Ed. And I need them to come, I need them to start. They need to be possibly infirm. Definitely at least double my age or a child. Yeah, yeah.

Completely untrained. My weight or lighter. And, yeah, maybe physically impaired in some other way. Yeah. But they have to initiate it. They have to initiate. Yeah, yeah. Maybe you should start streaming on kick.

just walk around the streets looking to be started because I'd get chin by a pensioner and it would go viral and that would be that but was that a private conversation because I can't remember No, I said it on here Oh okay good

Yeah, we're said on here but that's absolutely fun of You are the busiest man in comedy the word No, I don't think so You must be one of It's insane I might be up there in the top 50 You're being

You never know You're being very modest I'm no romish A I'm not far behind Yeah but I'm not gonna be like Oh I'm doing a play On top of everything else

That's what you did. You're like, how and when? Because you got unacceptable on TLC as well. Unacceptable. Brand new panel show starting on TLC in July, on July 5th, 9pm. Brilliant. Could go in that Mott the Week slot. Are you allowed to tell where anything about that?

I can tell you about that because that's filmed and that's done. Right. Other people got to come up with what that was about. I got offered and I couldn't do it because I was on two hours. But if you've got a second series, I'll very much be offered because it looks fantastic. If we get a second series, of course. I hope you do. You're both welcome.

Fantastic. No, not interesting. It's not my, I'm not a comedian. So those sort of things... You're funnier than most comedians. I don't know, but they make me want to die. Fair enough, yeah. Well, I had a lovely time on the show.

Feel like you want to die July 5th, TLC. No, in the edit, obviously there's clever people who put all these shows together. But actually being there in person, horrible. I don't know how he's doing. I don't know how he's do it. It's just a competition to talk. They're long... Having to think and having to like,

but, oh, God, is it something funny? No, no, not my cup of tape. It was actually quite laid-back panel show record as these things go, because the main bit of each episode is a comedian will bring on their unacceptable opinion. Yeah. Say what it is, so Rommish would be, Romish said, I think it should pay the Royals more. So that. Catherine Ryan had, all men should have a vasectomy at birth.

And then the audience vote on that top line and say like 95% of the order. audience find it unacceptable, then the comedian gets a chance to explain their opinion, do a whole bit about it while other people chip in. And then we test the opinion in studio. And then the audience vote again on whether they still think it's unacceptable. And the swing of the votes is the, is the points that they get. That's really good. Actually, I'm really opinionated. Yeah. We've also got this round called The Stitch Up, which is like, we've worked very hard to make absolutely genuine, because you both know there's like, sometimes TV can be a total lie. Yeah, very disingenuous. Yeah. We give a comedian an opinion that they've not seen,

like genuinely haven't seen up until that moment. They read it out as if it's their own opinion and then they have to defend it. Oh. So we had like Harriet Kemsley open up an envelope and have to read out all single mothers are lazy. And then absolutely spiral as she tried to defend it. It's a really fun show.

Okay, all right then. It's really good. And that's on TLC? That's on TLC. Yeah, yeah. Brilliant. July 5th. July 5th, 9 p.m.

I didn't want to look at my card. It's six episodes. I'm looking at my card. Fantastic. And you had Richard I-O-D. Richard I-Wadi is a team captain. Joanne McNally is a team captain. Two more different people you could not hope to meet.

Yes. When would those two ever be in the same room? Do they get on? Yeah, they do, actually. They really do. And we all get on. I'd say Joanne's the one who's staying for a drink after in the green room. Got you.

Richard's got his bike helmet in before I've taken my makeup off. I saw. Such a visual. Was that genuinely? Yeah, yeah. He's going on and he's like walking back down to my dressing room and he's like walks past and like, well done, goodbye. And he's got his bike helmet on and his little fold up bike.

He's such a great man. Oh, he's incredible. He's so funny. I saw a video, I don't know if you've seen it. I saw online when you were on the Virgin, on the Chris Evans podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where Joanne was saying that she'd try to hug Richard. It was just not well received.

I imagine this there. I imagine trying to hug him when he doesn't know you're going to hug him is like. gather a handful of bamboo just like wading through it and just squeezing it together and just giving you nothing back It's actually a wonderful lesson in asking people if they're huggers

Yeah Are you a hugger? Yeah, I am absolutely Yeah, yeah yeah Yeah But I still appreciate the question You know? All right

Do we hug? Can we hug? Can we hug? Yeah And if I know, yeah, yeah We're hugging all day Yeah Yeah, you're right actually

I don't like hugs from people I don't really know Yeah Without them checking first Yeah Babadoo Babadoo Babado Visit BetMGM Casino and check out the newest exclusive.

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We look forward to serving you. of those media strategy people clicking through slides scrolling spreadsheets yes good this is for you because on spotify there's an audience that's different locked in loyal invested they're called fans fans don't just listen to music they feel seen by it like it belongs to them so when your brand shows up on spotify that's who you're talking to and you're right next to artists like me lizzo so are you ready to talk to fans Spotify advertising you're among fans So you don't know this, Rosie, and I don't know how much... There's nothing I don't know about you.

Yeah, no about Edward. About Edward. So me and Ed go back. So what's really nice is we get people on the podcast. And the people obviously listen to us who know what we do and know me from now. Don't know everything I've done back the day. And when we lived in Edinburgh together. We did one year when we did the comedy zone.

We lived together, didn't we? In 2009. And did we live together the year after as well? I don't know. Possibly. Yeah, I think we might have done. Definitely one year, maybe two. Do you know, Ed took us to probably my first sushi.

restaurant. Oh, God. I talked Chris about... I talked Chris about different foods. He taught me about new foods. Thank you. He did. Can you remember what I said when you made some pasta in the house and I...

I think it was a stir fry from memory. It was something long in it. There was a long thing in it, right? Beesles. Can you remember? I got some bread. What was it? He said.

And I got some butter. You got bread and butter with the stir fry. what did you say? There's no better than putting a bit of butter on some bread and he quartered it

for the entire month of Edinburgh what an astonishing thing to say if someone wrote that in a script about someone from the North East you'd go that's bit on the nose

I know we've come on a lot since then I have personally I think I've gone up a lot but there's still not better than putting a bit of butter on some of it doesn't putting a bit of butter

I have some bread. I do, I do agree as well. I have to agree. A bit of crusty bread. Yeah. I don't think it was crusty. I think it was sliced white. And you were dipping it in the Asian stir fry I just made.

That was also, I'm sure you've heard this story before that every time Chris used to brush his teeth, I'd run in to brush my teeth at the same time and then try and spit on his hand. I don't know that. I fuck, I fucking hated that. I hated it so much. Highlighting my night. I hated it. You've never told her. I have, because I hated it out of, like, I didn't.

I didn't find it funny. I found it irritating. It was the work. Go on, explain it. Yeah, so every time, basically I would wait. Oh, he was very germphobic then as well. I mean, it was an awful thing for me to do, really, because he was genuinely germphobic.

And I'd wait in my bedroom, even if I was like, I want to go to sleep. I've got to brush my teeth, but I've got to wait for Chris to brush his teeth. And then I'd hear him going to the bathroom and it was like, you'd probably hear me just thundering down the corridor. Oh, my gosh. He was a big, he was a big laugh.

Yeah, brushing two. We're brushing our teeth, Chris. You're fucking hippo running towards him. holding a tube of coal gate brush my teeth he's like, I wear a man and then just wait for him to lean over

to spit and I'd spit and I got it on his hand. It's getting so close to us like you'd just wear because we'd wear sometimes I'd brush for ages but it was worse because he was just building up more and he had a bigger mouth than me and he just built up more and he had leaning out, touch the tap

spitting it oh god it was very good and I was trying to get anything in your hair like any liquid in your a big bouffon. Yeah. Oh, you knew big buffon, Chris. Oh, yeah.

That's when we met, which is crazy to think about. I did not like that. Three years after that, yeah. At all. I never liked that hair. I loved that hair. He looked like one of the soldiers outside Buckingham Palace. Oh, God, you actually did.

We had a laugh, though, didn't we? We were so different as well. Like, that's the mad thing about comedy. It was almost like, because I never went to uni. So for me, that was like my uni. Yeah. That was like... You didn't go to uni?

Yeah, but I stayed at home. I went to Sunday. and I stayed at home. It was almost... You didn't do halls or anything. No, I didn't do any of that. So getting to live... And you...

I'm going to be... Yeah, it was me... Lots of cousins, though. I've inherited loads of cousins. It was me, you, Tom Deacon, and Jimmy McGee, and we all lived together in this house and played Xbox together, and it was literally like being...

It was like being a student. It was really fun. It was so good. Bros. Bros. Before Hors. Yeah. Well, some of them didn't take that on board, did they? We couldn't bloody get in the living room one night

because people were doing sex. We couldn't play on HAL? Me and Chris were brised before house. We were bros before hoes. No, he had chit-hain. Yeah. We looked on a different thing as well. It was like 10 stone heavier.

Yours had two to be of stony's chin. You mentioned it a lot. It's not nice. How are we not attempting prospect? Unbelievable. I know exactly who it would have been. Yeah. And Tom Dakin interview.

And Tom Dakin. I hear them doing bloody in the living room. We had to go in play a hero afterwards. No. Never understood that. Have you ever done that? what same time? I've texted the same room as your friend.

No. I've been the friend before though. Awful. It's trying to sleep. Looks like it's headphones and sleep mask time. It's so upsetting. I wouldn't, you know me. I would get out.

Both of you get out now. Yeah. I would ruin the moment. I don't think it happens now. Apparently, you know, the younger generation just aren't doing anything like that now. Times have changed. No, I think it's just that have on their phones now

and I think that's happening anymore. They're not getting pissed at parties. They're not getting fingered in the beds opposite their friends. Although they might be. Those of the time, it's broken bloody Britain, Ed. It's broken bloody Britain, do you know? I blame woke. Yeah.

This is genuinely true, right? This is genuinely true. Apparently the other week, there was something on down at the beach, some event, and some 14-year-olds got arrested for being drunk in our hometown. And I remember thinking, Good. Nature's healing. I'm thinking nature's healing.

The 14 year olds are, spitting on the police again, fighting, getting arrested. We're back. We are so back. Yeah. Christmas is awkward because my nephew's 18 and... How many nephews are you got?

Three. List them. Daniel Oliver and Abel. Boom. He's turned 18 in December and that kid will not have an alcoholic drink. Really? And the amount that...

We tried. we're like just want just a half a cider but I think that's great I know I know You gotta have your own mind haven't you Good for him

Yeah it is But obviously And he's in crack in shape He is Well they just go to the gym And they really look at themselves Taking Taking all the vitamins

And all that shit Like we just didn't do that No No No But whatever So there we go Eddie you've got a story for

Oh yeah I've got a story for you guys Yeah This happened to you Yeah It's not Yeah it's all's cool fresh hell.

Where are you going? Are you going all of the world again? The rest of the world isn't booked in yet, but I'll probably go and do some, probably Australia, New Zealand, America. Nice. Maybe some Europe dates. I did some Europe dates on the last tour. That's cool.

Which was fun, but it was mainly a holiday with our dear friend Paul Brown. Yes. Oh! Can we talk about Paul for just two minutes? Yeah, sure, actually. Oh, yeah. I love Paul so much. I've got stuff about Paul in my new show as well, actually.

Have you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How? going to give, I'm not going to go away anything. Do you know, he was once, do you know, Greg? Should he explain to the listeners? Yeah, so he was our, he was our tour manager for, he was my two manager for one of me, a couple of me to us, and then he did Shagmarine Lloyd, and then he's now such a fantastic

tour manager. He now does you, he does Greg Davis, he does every, you know, he's no longer my auxiliary as well. Yeah, the offman you want. He's no longer my auxiliary tour manager, he's moved on. You know, Greg Davies calls him Bobby two bots? Yeah. Because he had two bottles of water in his pants once, so he just constantly calls him Bobby.

Bobby two bots. Well, we call him snail. Snail? He's gone so... And I don't even know where that... Snail came from the amount of times I typed Paul and my phone changed it to pale. So we got pale for a while.

Then he got snail. Now and then he gets whale. Well, we call him Spooky Richard. Why is that again? Well, his real name's Richard, of course. Which blows your mind when you check into a hotel and he hands the credit card over it. It says Richard Brown.

Yes. And then every sort of season, every big seasonal event, we would give him a new seasonal nickname and Halloween it was Spooky Richard and then when it got to Christmas I think it became Christmas shit okay dear listener these are all done with Jess

we do love we love Paul oh he's the best he's honestly the best man in the world he's so lovely isn't he just a genuinely lovely guy love you Paul so there we go love you Paul you ready for this story yes dear Chris and Rosie please keep me anonymous I work for the police

and my favourite colleague used to work in the cells and he has countless stories from being in there. Ooh. This is good. One day a man was brought into the cells and of course you have to be fully searched when you come in. He was being very cagey

and refusing to show his willy understandable. Something's up his willy. I will just quickly say I find adults using the word willy absolutely repulsive. Yes. It's unacceptable.

What do you call it? I mean, anything but Willie, anything but Willie. Penis. I call my misbooky Richard. It's Mickey Richard. No, where did my favourite cousin? I'll call it my favourite cousin and his two nephews.

Two bald nephews. Right, you won't show them is chucky. Oh, I think anything that feels slightly infantile is the worst. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, here's what I was thinking. Willie, if you use Willie, it's always about soft. It's always about the soft one, right? Yes.

You can't use Willie for hard. A guitared Willie has never been said. Put your Willie in us. I'm desperate for it. Give me that Willie. Have you been thinking about your Willie already? You see what I mean? I feel physically sick now.

Can you slow down your Willie's hurting? I can't wait to get you really in my mouth. It's horrible. Yeah. I do agree. Refusing to show you. goes Willie. Understandable, this person says, asking him to please not look at it.

Obviously, this maiden think he was trying to sneak something into the cells and they eventually were able to have a look. Guess what this man had wrapped extremely tightly around the end of his... Oh, fuck, fuck. Barsely. No, that... We've been doing this for seven years.

What's wrapped around it? It's not the plot from Saw 11th. I don't know why I'm saying this, Don't know why it's the first thing I popped in my head and strike us down if I'm wrong and if I'm right, it's just a guess. Dental floss. Oh, God.

Interesting. What would the purpose of that be, you know? Pleasure. I don't know. Why does anyone do these things? I think I'm going to, it's a yoyor. That's what I think of a while. The string of yor on the yore is,

I think he's got yorioio. You can't go to prison without his favorite yoyo. Good trick if you can do it, though. Imagine? Yeah. Walk the will he down, yeah. Cocked Creel What's he got tied around his

Wide people, time. He got any more before I carry on? I don't think I've got any more, no. No, I've got nothing. Will you around the world? That's one. Yeah. He had what looked like a red nose around the end.

And when they took it off, they found out it was a swimming cap wound extremely tightly around his knob end. There was nothing inside, no drugs, no smuggling or anything. When asked why he did this, he said, I'm just the pervert, mate. I enjoy it. To which you've got to say fair enough.

Fair play. Yeah, fair play. The swimming cap. Why is swimming? How do you land on swimming cap? I don't know. Why have we never heard of swimming cap being used in lieu of contraception? You always hear something.

Yeah. It's just been awful, Ed. It's just been awful. It's been a lovely old time. I'm going to see you guys. But no people used to use pretz crisps. Snickers in here. Snickers and elastic band. When we were kids. Never heard about Snickers and elastic band?

No, I've never heard of snickers and elastic band in lieu of contraception. Swimming caps would have been. Much better I'm. I used to swim for South Townside as well. Did you? That's where I had a load of swimming camps. Imagine this, making you think of that. It's been like, it's a lad to the anecdote.

Is there more of this? Yeah, there's some honourable mentions. Oh, my God. Oh, wow. There's also some other honourable mentions. This one is disgusting. Like the time when an officer pulled out what looked like to be an old piece of chewing gum from someone's wallet. When asked what it was, the man replied that it was his son's foreskin. Wow.

Wow. Yeah. In his wallet. In his wallet. Obviously keeping it. Most people go for a picture. Yeah. A little...

A little keepsake. Wow. That's awful. Yeah. That's really awful. I'm a bit annoyed, actually, because I don't know. mine locked off and they didn't let me keep it. Yeah, I don't know.

Yeah, mine is, yeah. How old were you? 23. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah. Why? So when we first... Too tight.

Too tight. When we first met you, had a foreskin. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what's different about you. Yeah. I've lost white.

No, it's not that. It's not the weird. Yeah. Well, that's some of it. What big was it? Stone and a half. It's like a ring from a water park. That's where it is now.

That's what they're using. That's a rest of 23 though. That's quite old to get rid of it. Yeah. You were like two. What was the recovery like of that? Mainly sort of just winnie-poeing around the house. Just literally.

A t-shirt and no pun. Just all day like. I was like, he doesn't crawl. You eat a lot of honey. And that sets it out. I've got to have my best miss with a rabbit. This has been really, really wonderful. It's so nice to see.

It's lovely having you here. Best of luck with everything. Thank you. Yes. Tour and unacceptable, etc. Yes. Thank you very much. Do you tell everyone on the website?

Edgamble.com.com.com.com. And Unacceptable's on TLC. I thought he just come for a chat. He's coming to promote stuff. They never fucking just come to chat. I was happy to just have the chat I'll get in trouble if I don't promote the thing. Thank you.

Bye, me. Thanks.