Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Please Keep Me Anonymous With Greg Davies

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

On this week's Please Keep Me Anonymous, Chris and Rosie are joined by comedian, Taskmaster, Never Mind The Buzzcocks host and all round legend, Greg Davies! As well as talking about the new series of Never Mind the Buzzcocks, Greg reveals what his first TV job was and he shares the details of a very stressful photoshoot (and it's not the one with all the milk!) Rosie and Greg bond over true crime obsessions and the three all get nostalgic for the naughty kids at school. Watch Never Mind the Buzzcocks on Tuesday's at 9pm on Sky Max and NOW To find out details about any forthcoming shows join Greg's mailing list at Gregdavies.co.uk Watch Taskmaster on C4 at 9pm on Thursdays or catch up at Channel4.com   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello and welcome to Please Keep Me Anonymous, which is a little branch off of our podcast, Shagmardinoid. Today, we were chatting to the fantastic Greg Davies. And I'm telling you right now, Chris, I have never laughed like that in a long time. I'm exhausted. Like, we've just finished now. He's just left and you're about to hear it. And I need to lie down. I need to go and relax and chill out because I've laughed so much.

It was exhausting. I'm a little bit embarrassed about how much I cried laughing. Yeah, it's like you've had to go and have your makeup pre done. Yeah, he's a funny dude. And you see I talk about Never Mind the Buzzcocks, a new series of Never Mind The Buzzcox is on Tuesdays on on Sky Max and I was a guest on the last series and I tell him during the interview but genuinely really, really fun

a new lease of life of a show that's been going for, you know, a long time with Greg now at the helm. It's a phenomenal. It's a really, really good show. We talk about a lot of interesting stuff, a lot of school stories. Yeah, well, he was, yeah. Because he was a teacher, wasn't? Yeah, and he's got a lot.

He's got loads of stories from his own school and he's got stories from when he was a teacher as well. So, yeah. At one point though, he very much, you can tell he's not listening to our podcast because he said, is this all going to stay in him? We were like, yeah.

Yeah, this is a statement. He got a bit worried, didn't he? Yeah. He got a little bit worried. He's like, is this for me okay? He's just done, he's just done Lorraine. I think that's where it is. The TV show.

He wasn't. Yeah, he didn't come here. He didn't come here. He didn't come here, I think of her. We're starting Rumours up in this place Also we're talking about his tour as well We're going to go and say he's tour

When he comes to Newcastle It's essentially sold out They've added new date So get on his mailing list If they do add some more You never know jump on the mailing list And obviously series 20 of Taskmaster Is currently here on Channel 4 Thursdays

At 9pm or channel 4.com as well So the mailing list is greggdavies.combe He kept seeing Davis He kept saying Davis And I kept saying Davies and he never corrected us, but I do believe it's Davis. Is that even... Sorry, what?

It's Greg Davis. We are so professional, it almost makes me sad. I hope it's Davies? I think we keep saying Davies, and he didn't say, no, he didn't say anything, but he kept saying Davis. He's too well-mannered, and I prefer Davies, so... Should we just get to change it?

Yeah, fuck him. Enjoy! We had a fight about the jingle, Jingle, we couldn't set along a jingle, Jingle, so this is the jingle, Jingle, Jingle, we hope you like the jingle, Jingle, Babadoo, Babadoo, Babadoo, Babadoo, Bahadu, Bahadu, bah Jingle! Hello, you're listening to Shagmur Dinoid, please keep me anonymous, with me, Rosie Ramsey, and my husband, Christopher Ramsey.

Hello, yes, and it's not just us, joined today. I mean, where do you start? He's the taskmaster. He's a comedy legend. He is the headmaster from the Inbetweeners. which is where all of our generation known from first, which is why we're a little bit scared of them as well. It's Greg Dierries, everyone!

Just our street claps. Just us three clapping. And you're clapping yourself. The loneliest claps in Britain. Let's add some applause into that. Thank you very much. Thanks for having me. And having a chat with us.

It's absolutely lovely to see you. Can I imagine what it's like working with you. Must be awful in it. What? Just us too. Working with your partner? Oh, right. Okay.

Do you know what? We love it. It has its moments. It's not always playing sailing. No. But it's actually, I've got to tell you, right? The one nice thing is, I don't know about you, while you've been in this industry a long time,

it can sometimes be really daunting when you start something on your own. Doing it with your partner. Yeah. You don't really get that feeling. No, okay. Does that make sense? Yeah, and you weirdly seem to get on well. I know it's sick, isn't it?

It's sick. I was really worried there because he was like, we're at your partner? And I went, oh no, we love it. And then you went into a long, like, Tyreid. I was like, oh, shit, I've really left myself open here. Oh, okay, no, Chris likes it more than me. Does he?

Yeah, Chris, like, Chris will do it forever. He likes you more than you like him. Yes. But that's what you meant to do. You meant to marry, as a woman, maybe more. You meant to marry someone who loves you more than you love them. Is that right? First I'm hearing of this.

First I'm hearing of this. In front of Greg Davies. This is well upsetting. How does that feel? Yeah, I mean, I'll let you know when I've absorbed it. I'll let you know when I've sort of running through me head. Ladies, marry you. someone who loves you more.

But it's on the hell of love, you feel towards him. I do love him. But he loves me. But you're not in love with him. I get it. Sorry, are we in fucking therapy? Is this therapy?

Is this therapy? Are we interviewing Craig Davis about the new seats of postcox? No, right. Listen, do you love... Right, okay. Let's get it out of the way with. Do you love me more than I love you?

Yes or no. In your opinion. Depends what time of the month it is. Are you on in this scenario? No. No. Well, yeah, well, I love you. Yeah.

Yeah, amazingly. But when you're on, I take it, I'll leave you. Oh, great, okay. We'll talk about my period straight away. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, why not? Sorry, that's not, I'm not, that's not as sex as it sounds. Rosie's very much, our period is the third host of this podcast.

What you're saying is, you like women unless they're ovulating. Exactly. That's what I've heard. That is, and I will be, you can clip that up. You can clip that up, and I will stand by that. I think you meant to love women more when they're ovulating. It's like an old kind of. Evolutionary thing.

Yeah, that's when you meant to love them more. So actually, I think you might be gay. This show gets edited, yeah? This is edited. Very loosely. This might all stay. I don't think you might be gay. Is that okay to say?

I don't know if that's okay to say. I don't know. I mean, if it's not going to get heavily edited, I'd just like to say, I have a great admiration for ovulating women and gay. Just for the record. They'll be glad. We'll all be glad about that. Thank you.

Well, what we're going to do is we're going to take all of the stuff we said out, and you're just going to say that out of nowhere. I'm just going to go, I like ovulating with you. We're going to ask you about buscocks, and you're going to say it. It's not a quote that's going to ruin me, Chris. No, no, no.

I like ovulating with you game. I mean, it's going to be weird. It works. It'll go viral. Listen, you are starting the new series of Nevermind the Buzzcox. I have filmed it. It's out. Let's not pretend it's live.

It's done. It's done. And the first one's out now. Nobody knows. Do you remember when you used to be on Mark the week? Seriously, it does nobody know that. It starts Tuesday. It's Tuesday's 9pm on Skymax. Oh, right. I've been a guest on that show, both before you hosted it, and now that it's on Sky and you host it as well.

Bloody fun. Really good show. So fun, right? Yeah. And dare I say it, it's had a massively new, I'm sure you've heard this, huge new release of life since it's gone to Skymax and since you've hoarse it yourself, without trying to blow smoke a blast here. Well, that's not for me to say, Christopher. 100%, mate. No, 100%.

What I would say is that when we do interviews and promoting shows, you know, over your career, you always say, oh, we have a great time doing it. And it's not true sometimes. No, God, no. With this, it genuinely is true. We are all having a, well, I am. I'm having a blast. A good time.

Yeah. But you got that, didn't you? I loved it. Well, I mean, I loved it apart from the fact that I did it the day I got back from holiday and it was the Christmas special. And it was June. Yeah. I had to put a Christmas jumper on and I had a tan.

So I looked like, it looked like a very tally Christmas. Yeah. But I was surprised at how much you and Jamali are like full on proper good buds. You and Jamali Maddox. Yeah, yeah, because you'd think we hated each other, wouldn't you? The way you go on.

But then it was like, oh, no, we're going to a gig together. I was like, oh shit you're like proper little romance going on. And there's another thing is, in every interview, Jamali sort of suggests he hates me. I've read it in print. It's like, you know, I read in an interview recently. He said, I think, Greg has been irritating me since before I was born.

Is that what he said? I think it's because I've spent a lot of time saying things about him in the show that have really caught on. Last series I kept saying that he lives with his mum all the time, which he does. And people have started shouting out at his gigs because he likes to be all cool. How old is he?

Well, that's the second thing. I've been telling everybody this series. every episode he's 40. He's like 34. See, that's good because that's just enough. Just right, isn't it? Yeah. So a mate of mine used to say one.

Used to say, you know, the Chuckel Brothers. I know the Chuggler Brothers all right. I'm not sorry about that. Well, we used to say to people, me, me, mate, we used to say, Jason Cook, a comedian friend of the podcast, he used to see, you know, one of them is actually the dad. They're not brothers.

It was just enough. Which one, Barry? Well, it was just enough of a bullshit. Like, it was just enough. enough where people would go, no, you go, not definitely. They go, all right, okay. Yeah. One does look, the shorter of the two does look older than the...

You know one's dead, right? Yeah, the short of the... Yeah, the one who looks old of is actually dead. He's past. Yeah, he's passed. Barry, RIP. RIP. Yeah. I think I did the Chuckel Brothers.

I was Henry the H in the Chuggle Brothers. One of the first bits of telly I did. No. You've been in Chuggle, Chuckle, Chuckel. I was Henry the 8th in... Chuggle Vision? Yeah, in Chucle Vision. Wow.

So, Rosie can't say a Chuclevision because when she was... Yeah. When my brother was younger, he had like a speech problem. And he used to sing Chickabeezen. He used to go, chika, chicka, chickabeezen, right? Chicka bein. Chucal vision. It's not even close.

All right, my name's a kid. Doesn't even my crying. He had a speech in bed of it. He's all right now. I mean, well, we do worry about it more than the rest. I used to say Combinister instead of Combine Harvester, but that sounds like Combine Harvester. I had me too said Piscetti.

It used to really fuck me off. Biscetti biscuits? No, Piscetti, Piscetti Bolliners. Oh. It's like, what the hell's wrong with you? Yeah. I can't pick Piscetti on toast. What's wrong with you?

But yeah, but he used to say Chickabeesen, didn't you? Anyway, it must be very difficult for people who've got speech impediments, and I've greatly respect for them and ovulated with them and the gay community. Anyway, he did it for months, and my mom and dad were getting really upset at the way. Like, why is he keep saying, what's chickabeesing? He wants to watch chick a chick a bee's in. I had no idea. And I was like, it's true with it.

Vision. Greg Davis is in it. I'm Henry Eid thing. I've got two things to say about it. One, in the audition for it, the director said, told me to calm it down a bit. Like I was overactive.

Do you imagine? That's Henry the Eard. Yeah. In Chuccovision. What do you mean? Dial it back, dickhead. It did. He said you dial it down a bit. Wow. What could you possibly have been doing?

I can't imagine. I can only imagine I just pulled my trousers and pants down. screaming. I can't think how you can go too big for joccal fission other than expose yourself and just like holding like a wolf. But Henry the Earth's

quite like it's a big character. Exactly. I feel like you would have had... Yeah. I'm sorry about that. I got the part, weirdly. Yes. Okay. And this is the bit I remember most fondly about it is I walked on to set and I met who's

who's not Barry. Paul. Paul. I met Paul. And he was nice and very welcoming. It keeps a crash mat whenever he films anything. Because he's got a bad back. He likes to lie on a crash mat. Anyway.

Then Barry came in late. We were in a medieval banquet hall. And I was dressed as Henry the 8th. And Barry came in, RIP. And he was in a full medieval ball gown and a conical hat. And of course, they used to film two. whole episodes in one day. So the crew were like, let's go, let's go, let's get it done.

And they've seen them in every outfit conceivable. But I haven't. And I just lost it in the middle of a medieval banquet hall. I lost it for 10 full minutes. Wow. Where I couldn't stop laughing. And I was the only person in the room laughing. Who were like cameramen leaning on the cameras like this.

Oh, no. Oh God. And Barry was sort of like that. And I was just laughing. like I thought I'd gone mad I thought I'd lost my mind just and really echoing just me

I'm so sorry Barry I just wasn't expecting you to be in the absolutely horrible lad oh it was it was sort of horrible and wonderful Barry was lovely as well oh wow oh that's fantastic oh this is ridiculous I'm literally crying

so we were outside there so a couple of things obviously, you know, Buzzcox is back, which is brilliant. And we'll talk about your tour as well. But a couple of things. We were just outside there. So everyone watching this and listen to this, we're all on the same management. We're signed to the same management company.

So we've got a lot of the same team work on the same things. And Rosie, you were getting your makeup done in the next room outside. And I was sitting in the little waiting area. And Greg came in and he said hello to everyone. And he said hello to the guys who do our social media stuff. And it was one of the weirdest things I've ever heard anyone say to someone for the first time they met them. He said hello to Lizzie. and Lizzie said,

I don't know if you remember me, Greg, but I was the one who was pouring all that milk on you. Yeah. And I went... For your debauster? For his poster, full fat legend. Oh, no, no, that wasn't. That was separate.

All right, sorry, this was different time. Yeah, yeah, Lizzie just came back. I have these milk parties. You've changed. You know, I have milk parties. Oh, God, no, I couldn't even... I fucking ate milk. Rosie, we don't get invited.

Jonathan Ross's Halloween party. All great David's milk parties. I don't. I've never been invited to Jonathan Ross's Halloween party. Halloween party either. What have you got to do, Greg? Well, no. We heard.

I've poured milk on my naked torso. What does he want? What does he want? What does the guy want? He's played Henry the 8 for God's sake. We heard that people copy and paste that email and just turn up with the email even though they're not invited

and apparently he knows when he walks around that party, he knows. That's pretty tragic. That's really tragic. Can you remember when we've told that story? Yeah. I tell you, next Halloween, next time he has a party, come around to mine, we'll pour milk on each other.

I can't. I much rather do that. I'd much rather do that. Poor milk on Chris, you can. you can watch. There it is. Where's my diary? Where's my diary?

What's it called? What's it called? What's it called? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Who said anything about wanking? We didn't mention anything sexual. This was going to be beautiful and you've dirtied it. You've dirty.

I'm not good at, I'm not coming if no one's wanking. It was going to be a couple of lads just pouring milk on each other. Just appreciate me and Chris. What? We're in a shower, wanking each other off. How's that happened? Why have you made this sexual, Rosie? What's wrong with you?

Let a girl have a fantasy. All right? Does not milk. Juice. A nice bottle of Pinot Noir. We'll have a juice party. Just Halloween. But's Cox. It's out now.

Sky. Don't like me. I'm crying when we make it off. And so this brings us to another point of your tour posters because I do remember years ago when you had a DVD out where you were half in a lake near it. And Amazon wouldn't sell, they wouldn't show the image of your DVD cover on Amazon.

So we contravened their nipple policy. Because he showed your nipples. Not allowed nips. Not even male nips. So we put nipple, we superimposed nipple tassels over my nipples and they were fine with that. Which I would say, it's far more offensive. It's worse. Far more.

Much sexier. Much sexier. You know what I remember about that shoot, though. Me and the lake. Yeah. I paid for that shoot, obviously, because you pay for all you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. stuff and I remember exactly how much it costs six grand.

Wow. And the producer of the shoe, the guy was supposed to be helping the photographer and the lighting people get that right. Spent his whole time scaring away a swan that kept attacking me. I was continually being attacked by a male swan. Yeah, they're vicious swan. So the guy from Avalon was literally going, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they were going, now, now, get in.

And I was having to run into this. And the lake was full of it. swan shit. It's stank. Oh God. So you see me and I'm trying to look all majestic in the lake, but I'd literally just run in and gone like this. You're going, no, take it, take it.

And in the background, I can hear, wha! I'm surprised you got in one of the, like, they're disgusting, them little lakes and ponds and stuff. Yeah, the whole thing is awful. Oh, God. Why is your life? I'll tell you something else about.

Have a look at that poster. If you zoom in on it, you'll notice my neck looks really weird. because I was so stressed because I was being continually attacked by a swan for six grand I was so stressed I ended up pulling this expression that made me look like I had the neck of a 90 year

so I said to the people who were editing the photo afterwards I'm not pointing that out with me like a horrible 90 year old neck so they cut my elbow and superimposed my elbow over my chin So that's not my chin. God. That's not my neck. It's my arm.

I thought you looked odd. It's the crease of my arm. Yeah. I've often thought you looked odd on that picture. I often do with the nibbles. That's why. Because I've got a neck for a, I've got a neck made out of a fucking arm.

Wow. And I was frightened. I'm going to have to have a look at that. It's been tied by a swan for six grand. Oh, God. It smells like a fetish. A play six grand won't get a swan and attack you, mate. Have you ever asked to be touched up on photos?

After the, you had your photo taken. Photoshop. Do you mean to watch up? No. I thought you meant. Yeah, on most of them I've asked, but you can only roll a turding. No, has anyone ever said?

So you are, lots of times I've had it done and people have told me in post they're going to change certain things. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, oh, bless you. But I think I'm, you know, you've still got your youth to a degree, you two.

I'm at the stage now. I don't give us. Really? You can't do much with this. Come on. I'm already getting... It is what it is, isn't it? I'm sort of getting there now, though.

We're 40 next year, and I'm just a bit like... Yeah, 40 is fine. You're fine. Do you think? You'll still be touched up for another five years. Oh, go on. Get that milk out. Babadoo, babadoo, babadu, babadu, babadu, ba.

Babadu babadu babadu ba. You've done... You've sold out, didn't it? It sold out immediately. It did, almost immediately. I didn't. I hadn't done a tour for eight years, and I was really nervous. I'm all the feeling.

And people came, so I was thrilled. So we put some more on in March next year. Well, you've done what I like to call the anxiety release, which is I've done the theatres. We'll put the arenas on. We'll put them on second. Like that would kill me. Well, I can't believe.

We've done a couple of arenas on this too. I can't get my head around it. We've done an arena tour. It's mad. Yeah, I know. You did the O2, didn't you? Yeah, yeah. But it just feels...

Terrifying. It's insane. You feel like you're cheating. You feel like you're taking the piss. You feel like at some point they're all going to go, come on me. Why are we in this aircraft carrier to fucking listen to you?

you. It's mad. When we did Newcastle Arena, my mom was backstage with our eldest. Sonny came there, like, he didn't really watch because we swore and stuff, but he saw the beginning and that. And she said we came off stage and she was like, I've never really been that up close to people off their face on drugs.

But she said you two looked like you were, like, we must have just been like this. And were you... Wired. No. No, sadly not. But just like, just... Wired. I found them terrifying. Yeah. Your family are great for... Oh yeah, thanks, Matt. I'm thanks to tell us.

I look off my tits in front of, you know, 13,000 people. Great, that wasn't the look I was going for. But, you know. My sister came to a gig and came out at the dressing room with me afterwards at the back. And there were some people wanting pictures with me. And they were like, oh, can we have a picture? And my sister came out behind me and looked at the morning. And she went, fuck, oh.

She wanted a picture with his dick for? Oh, you've got a look. Oh, yeah. That's great. Bug don't worth with a bag. My brother got pissed at our. arena gig and sat wearing one of the merch dressing gowns in the

in the green one with all of our own to remember. Oh really? Shag married and a dressing gown, yeah. It's my brother. Speaking of photos, we were all again, we're on the same management, we all know the same people, we're at a party on there.

We're all at a party on Saturday night. I was hoping you would bring this up. Yes. Because I was going to. Yes. Come on then. I've never seen you so a fucking smug. Absolutely.

We had quite a. lot to drink. Well, I did. I had quite a lot to drink. Oh yeah, we were, yeah. And I was waiting for an Uber and you two came past. And then someone recognised me. Oh my God, Greg Davis. And then she looked at these two and the other two. And the other two. It's a new podcast for me. It's great. Greg Davis and the other two.

Greg Davies and the other two. Oh my God. God lover. I was thrilled. Yeah, you were so, you went, I'm having that. I'm having that. I sent a voice in a while. I was so pissed. I sent a voice in a I'll produce that I went, Reminders of this on Tuesday When we record this. The other two comedians, is it?

What's that? I don't know. And the other two. Oh, God. Oh, man. That was funny. Can we talk about Taskmaster? Whatever you want.

Yes. Because obviously Chris and I have both been on it. And we've gained a lot of new listeners, I think, from Taskmaster. Do you think? I mean, it's a machine. It's a monster. It's a monster of a show. Yeah.

Who do you think? better. Out of you two? Oh God. Yours was a while ago, Chris. Yeah. That's what's going to let me off the hook here because I can't really remember. I can't remember people who've been on it.

It's awful. Does it just turn into like, it's a machine, isn't it? No, I just think you get so absorbed in it. It's such a weird bloody world. You, well, you know me and you know that I'm not a despotic character in real life. Yeah. On that show, I didn't you find you just. get so absorbed in the taskmaster universe.

Oh, I was horrible Alex Horn and I really like him. Yeah, yeah. I really, like, he's a lovely... I mean, I wouldn't... I don't like to say it publicly, but I really like that as well. He's a lovely bloke. But as soon as I sit on that throne, I think, my fucking little dwee.

I find myself getting really wound up with it. I got really into it. I was like, fucking... Something about it in that space. Yeah. But because you get so absorbed in it, I sort of feel like I've lived 20 lifetimes. I get it. You know, so I look back on...

I try and remember... which world I was in with each series. Even just being a contestant on it. Like, I'm a professional comedian. I've got a successful podcast. I've got children. I've got a fan. But suddenly I'm like,

fuming that someone may have hit a pole with a ping pong ball blindfolded a little bit quicker than me. I'm like screaming at Sophie Duke. I'm like, no. And I'm like, what am I doing? You're extremely competitive. This is the problem.

Only for shit stuff. Only for shit stuff. Like, not for anything like... Being that the great thing about it is there's nowhere to hide, didn't it? We've all got our comedy personas that we've worked on. But you can't on that show.

You can't. Well, I can't. But you all can't. Yeah. Yeah. We did a thing with Rees Shea Smith recently, didn't we? Yeah, yeah. I was chatting to him about it and he was like, I just really struggled to be myself.

Oh, I thought he was great. No, no, no. He loved it and he's great in it. But I think he's always so used to being a character. Yeah. So we had to just be him. So he was like, it was the first thing I've done where I was just myself. I think that's why he put it off, put off doing it for something.

Yeah, right. I think it was only Steve. Pemberton that sort of reassured him. It's fine, yeah, yeah. I had an interesting thing with Rees on that show. I'm trying to think, if I can explain it properly. It's an interesting thing of how it works in the studio is like I'm always looking for something I can pick on as a repeat thing.

So if someone's physically clumsy, it's always reassuring to me because I can always come back to how clumsy they are. So early doors, I suggested that Reese was like a powder keg of, anger that was barely being sort of contained. Brilliant. And then I kept saying that. And then about three episodes in, you sort of realise he isn't that at all. He was actually

very measured and in control of what he's doing. But I kept saying it and it irritated him. And he kept saying, you keep saying that I'm a bodekeg. And then he started to come across of someone who's a bodekegain. You gaslit him. You gaslit him. So it sort of became self-fulfilling.

And those weird little dynamics happen in the studio all the time, I think. You know what I mean? This two and fro of... On our series, the fact of her, we reckon she was going to marry it. It was insane. So she kept telling me.

Fairly aggressively. And on my series, Judy Love, phenomenal bullshitter. That was the one that kept come home. Oh, wow. She could sell the utter shit that she'd done. She could just sell it.

She could flip it. She would make a living in the North Pole, that woman. I just think she has got such chat. She came on this series. is a Buscox, not to bring us back to Buscox out now on Sky. That's why you're, yeah.

Fairly, all done. The pig of our person outside is over the moon. But she came on Buscox and flagrantly cheated. And she sort of talks, even though she's been caught cheating, she sort of talks in such a way and you start to doubt yourself. And we had it on film.

I was going, we've got it on film. You're cheating. And she's like, oh, no, no, no, no. And you start to go, maybe we haven't got it on to do. Maybe none of this is being filmed. She should go, do you watch The Traitors? I don't. Have you never seen it? No, I hear it's very good, but I've never watched it.

Right, okay, so I heard. You strike me, sorry, you strike me as a man that I'll watch us, fuck all. I don't watch a lot of tell you these days. Yeah, I'm the same. Okay, well. I don't watch a lot of tell you about it. I watch a lot of true crime, but tell me about it. What true crime?

I love true crime. Oh, God. Are you joking me? I think true crime is a very unhealthy obsession. It is. It is. I'm trying to stop. I can't tell you, but I had the worst dream in my entire life about Chris the other.

the night. It's because I watch documentaries of awful stuff and then I go to bed and I think that he's going to do awful stuff and it's just... Was it me and him wanking in a shower? It wasn't far off that. Greg, I bloody wish, mate. It was worse. A bloody wish.

No, but you watch too much true crime. It's because I watch true crime. I've given up cigarettes and I'm genuinely next on my list is true crime. I think it's really unhealthy. I do. Dude, it's a huge red flag. I think it's horrible voyeurism. Yeah. And I'm ashamed of it. But what is your favourite kind of? What's your favourite subject?

of true crime. Murders or like... Have you seen... Have you listened to West Cork? Oh, no. It's on my list though. I think it's the Prince of True Crime podcasts. Oh, is it?

Is it? I like scamming stuff as well. You know when people scam people? Oh, yeah. Like when they pretend that... Oh, yeah. No. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. But at all ladies' life savings down the shit out? Oh, yeah. Sprint a bit of that on. Like when they pretend to have cancer and stuff and they scam people out of thousands. Oh, right. So we're talking about.

All right, we're talking. You're dirty John's of the world. You're big lads. I've heard dirty John. That was about it. I think it's unhealthy. And I do think I'm coming out of that face. I do think I'm starting to get it out of my system.

Because I do think it's unhealthy. Yeah. Looking at people who've had awful things happen. Do you know what you should? I think it's an empathy thing, actually. I think it makes you a better person. Ah. Because I think you empathise with them.

Very nice. I genuinely do. Like in the game. You've just bought him another six months. No, honestly. I do. I think I'm quite an empathetic. person, is that the right word?

And I think it's because I cry and I feel sorry for them and it's like a empathy thing. For the murderers? Not the murderers. I hate the murderers. Oh, the murderers. No, I don't empathise me with the murderers. I've got a theory. This is my theory. See what you think. We like watching true crimes because

you think however bigger dick I am I'm not as big a dick as that guy. Fucking hell. You did that terrible thing. I'll never be bigger dick. Me. That's great. Whatever mistakes I've made, I've not done that. Wow.

Yet. Just a theory. Wow. What an incredible angle to take on true. How much of a dick are you that you need to do this? I'm not a dick at all. I like to think I'm not a dick at all. It's just my theory is to why it's attractive to people.

I get you. Because we all doubt ourselves, don't we? And we all question our decisions from time to time. And I think every now again, people like to go, yeah, but I haven't fucking murdered. 10 people. I know I was rude to my mate at that party, but I haven't. Chop to wait people's heads off.

I'm a really nice person. Sorry, sorry. It's ridiculous. It's just a theory. If you're going to give up true crime, let me suggest that you watch the real housewives. Oh, no. Instead.

How do you like it? Really? I don't think I'd like it. It's so stressful. Matt Ford's a massive fan. Matt Ford's a huge fan of it, which I couldn't believe. about it. I couldn't believe it.

So Rosie, it'll be in our dressing room getting ready. And if I walk in, I need to speak about something. Every time I walk in, there's either someone describing a gruesome murder, audio, or there's women screaming at each other and fighting and pulling each other's hair. I don't know what I'm going to get when I walk in. It's nuts. And the trouble for me is, I would watch that and I would get addicted to it. And then I would question myself.

Like, I got addicted to, what's that awful show? Love is Blind. You know, Love is Blind. I watched two series of the US version. I don't know why. I just put it on one day and then I didn't leave my house for three days. I watched two full series of it. And I hated it, but I couldn't stop watching it.

And exactly what you mean. And the conclusion I came to, after I watched the end of the second series, is that humanity should be destroyed. Oh, that's what I think. Do you not know my slogan? My slogan on the podcast, send the meteor. That's my slogan. Is it?

Send the media. Just send it. Perfect. Every time we get a horrible story, just send it. Send the media. Well, don't watch Love is Blind US. Right.

Because I haven't seen the UK version. I'm sure it's very good. That's when they don't see each other at all. They're just through a wall chatting and get to know each other and then they get married. Should we do this? Yeah, first of all, your tour. We haven't started recording this podcast yet. No, no, no, no, no.

Your tour, very nearly sold out If any extra dates come, where's the best place to find them? They're all on my website We've just put extra dates on for March next year Yeah And if anything else comes on maybe join the mailing list or something Is that the best place to do it? Please join the mailing list, well done Chris

Join the mailing list please Gregdaivist.comco. There it is. Or will you tell Paul we said hello? Who? To our manager. We haven't finished a podcast? No.

We haven't finished at all? I've got, my brain's like a pinball machine. Yeah, I will say, Paul. Did he do you? Yeah, he does do it. Love him. Jesus. Love him, love him, love him. He's so good at his job.

He makes me ashamed of myself. I know. Do you know the tour managers? And this is proper, apologies to people listening and watching, because this is proper in-comedian touring in crack. But do you know the tour managers are genuinely mortified if they ever have to fill up the car while you're in it?

Yeah. Do you know that? That's a thing. Like, mortified. I wouldn't know because he would never do it. Exactly. There you go. It's literally like, I had a, oh my God, I had a Kristen Ruzzi in the car, and I had a full petal in.

He did have to do it once. He was putting petal in. And he was looking through the daughters and he was going, I'm so sorry you've had to see this. I'm like, Nick, you're not having a shit in the boot. You're filling up the car with fuel. Like, what are you talking about? I can really upset Paul now. I've got a great picture of our tour manager.

You know, when you know someone in a certain context. Yeah. And like, we've become friends, I like to think. love it. We were in one hotel and we were both going for a swim downstairs and he turned up at my room in a robe and slippers. It was just so

it was just so weird out of context. I can't picture. I've got that picture. If I showed it on this podcast, he'd never speak to be a good. Oh, I'd love to. I can't picture it and it's making us very uncomfortable. Do you know what you call him snail? No. Because so many times when you go to Type Paul, it changes to

pale for some reason in your phone. So it went pale and it went snail. So he's just the snail. Do you know what I call him? Bobby Two Bots. Sorry, what? Because we were walking to stage one day and he decided for some reason

to put two big bottles of water in each of his back pockets. And it just, it came out of my mouth. He goes, all right, I went, all right, Bobby Two Box. And that's all I call him now. Sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sure we should have this on. Oh, no, he's fine. We've dug him out on this podcast many a time. You need to ask him about the time, which he was really traumatised. We were doing the O2 and Chris pissed in the back of the van in a bottle. Did you? And he had a barocca. And it was disgusting.

No, no, just traffic in London, mate. Traffic in London. But he was really upset, Paul. The bottle had had barocca in and he pretended he didn't. He was very, very upset. He was very upset. Yeah. Doing a barroca piss in the back of a van?

A barocca piss into a bottle where the barroca had been as well. So it was double baroquee piss. On the way to do our gig and the O2 were there. So did it all fizz up? Yeah, yeah, he said he was, yeah, he was very, he was very shut up. Was it just a normal Eviann bottle? Yeah. Yeah. You would have spilled some stuff.

Nah, man. Nah, I'm, I've done it. Deadly accurate, is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He circumcised. Yeah, so it's... Yeah, so it's... No problem.

You'll find this out with the milk, though. You'll learn all this. What's that mean? It means it doesn't spray everywhere. Like, like... Yeah? What, you think I'm like a sprinkling? Just because I've got a horse in?

Yeah. I haven't seen a poor skin for a year. I forgot what they're like. Well, they're not pretty. I haven't seen a poor skin for years. What's wrong with you? Just imagine Chris, but with a little sleeping background. Oh, I'm putting on edge of your mouth.

Oh, drop me cut. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadu, ba. Babadu babadu babadu bao. Can we do this, please, Greg? Yeah. This is actually what we're meant to do on the podcast, but we just chatted. We started getting emails of people

and they basically just took on a whole thing and people send with so many amazing things. Oh, they tell us. Well, they're just writing these are true stories. Yeah. And they want to be kept anonymous. Yeah. Talk about true crime.

I could make a full true crime documentary of some of the stories that have been sent in. Shocking. Oh, like, worrying. Yeah, some of them. Some of them can't read out. Some of them can't read out. Oh, shit.

Do you want me to read this out? We don't know what this is. Dear Kristen Rosie, please keep me in on. That's what the section's called. Always. I took the whole podcast. Well, the show.

Oh, is it? Thank you for reading the emails. Jesus. This isn't it shagmarry, doesn't it? Honestly, it is. It's a lot of section. Oh.

Are you taking the best? Oh, separate things? No, no, it's the same thing. No, it's the same umbrella. Yeah. Same thing. Bake off extra slice. Oh, that sort of thing.

There is. But hosted by you. Yeah. With those shoot up, with the... We're not getting any of us. Normally. We're not.

We're too greedy. Talking on. I'm not sure you can do your own. Absolutely can. You can do your own adjacent podcast. Can and have. Okay. All right then.

Well, hopefully, Chris and Rosalie invite me on the main one sometime. This is the main one for guests. I don't know how it works here. Meglamiacs is people. He was on the ring before this. Geordie Meglamia. Are you Jordy? Sand dancers.

Sand dancers? Well, South Shields. So we're not Newcastle, not Sun and Tessield. Is that posh. Passed Newcast. No. No. No.

No. No. Sadly not. We live in a nice street. Okay. Rosie, Rosie. Do you know sometimes you forget that this is like work and you just like, Greg, we live in a nice street?

Like, yeah. No, we do. It's not a part. We love where we live. We live in a hometown. But we have upgraded from where we grew up to the nicer part. The nice bit of the hometown. So when I went to school, I went to school with people who live where we live now.

And I thought, Nice. When I got invited. When I got invited. You going, Maybe. Let's see. Here we go then.

Rosie recently talked on the podcast about crawling out of class and not getting caught. Oh, yeah, I did that at college. Oh. Yeah. Now, you were a teacher, Greg. What, for many, lonely, sad years? Did you have anything like this? Did kids try and leave the class, hide, crawl across the floor?

Oh, my God, yes. Yeah? What did you teach again? Well, I mean, loosely, drama and English. Right, okay. Nice. Can I tell you something from when I was at school? Please.

We had a geography teacher called Batty Price and I'm sure she's no longer with us. I don't know why she was called Batty. Batty. First name, Batty. Or Mrs. Batty? First name, Batty, second name price. I think Batty was a nickname.

Okay. I don't think her name was Batty. But everyone called her Batty. I don't know why. Right. And looking back, I mean, I guess she can't have been 90 years of age, but to me at the time she seemed 90 years. years of age. And she used to wear, I guess she had arthritis. She used to wear

arthritic sort of armbands so that her hands were always like this. No. I swear to God. This, so she would hold chalk and be able to write, but most of the time she was like this. No. And I remember her face expression was always squinting like this. And she seemed 90. Anyway, there was a trend in Batty's left. And it happened, I cannot tell you this, most lessons. Someone would put their hand up and she would go, yes. And whoever it was would go, do you mind if I go to toilet, Mrs Price?

And she would go, okay, be quick. And then that person would stand up and then we would all leave. No way. The whole class. And I swear to God she never noticed. I swear to God, we'd come back and she would be saying, and periglaciation is, wow. You all just go and stand out there for about five minutes and then come back in.

Wow. Even like the square kids was, well, I was one of them. Yeah. They're frightened kids like me. We will go, well, I guess we're all going out. I love shit like that. Oh, bless her. This is the anonymous letter.

Yeah. Well, I had a girl in my year who used to crush pencil lead down to a powder and then snort it up her nose. It would give her nosebleze, which meant she could get out of lessons. The girl in question would always have. the teacher she could bring a friend to help with the nosebleed. It was a bit of an inner circle and you'd only be able to get out of lessons if you were mates with her. I was only invited once to be her nosebleed companion. I mean, this is insane.

That's fucking horrible. She'll be in a true crime, don't you mean? She'll be dead. She's going to be dead. Lead poisoning. She's snorting lead to make her nosebleed. She'll be dead. This is about a dead woman.

Is that the tone you want? on this podcast. I'll tell you what, Rosie and Chris from Shagmary Denoid are not going to like this. They're not going to like this, Toad, reason about someone who's essentially topped themselves with a pencil. I think she made it to the end of the school, yeah. I know, it's later on the line that her face will have fallen off. That's so bad.

How much do you hate school, let your snort? I mean, come on. Oh, my goodness. I think it's genius. Jesus Christ. It's insanity. Oh God. I was in a class with a lad once. I won't name him when I was at school.

And he was eccentric. And a mate of mine. Yeah. Really, very much living life according to his rules. And I was trying to do some work. And he went, oh. And I went, hey, mate, leave it out. I was really trying to concentrate. I was shit. It was a science lesson.

Yeah. I was shitted it. And he goes, give me a number between 1 and 50. I went, fuck off. He goes, just give me a number. He goes, what's it to you? Give me a number between one and 50. I went, 26.

He went, all right, thank you. Ten minutes later, an ambulance was called because he had 26 yeast tablets. They were fucking big as well. Like a horse pill. He found a big jar in the science labs that just had yeast tablets on it. He asked me to get a hospital.

He had to get a hospital. Why would you do it? She was bored, I guess he was bored. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh, mighty. Did he survive? Oh, he lived, yeah.

Oh, okay. Wow. Have you ever seen, this is it? Do you ever say the Lordy kids? He lived? This person didn't. I hope they have. I went to like a random award ceremony a few years ago in South Shield. And the naughty kid from school was there, but grown.

And he was, he wasn't, he actually, I'll give him his due. He was not a buddy. He was just naughty. And it was so funny because he ended up getting expelled in year 10. But he came up to us and his daughter was getting an award and he was like,

Drem of me. And I was like, oh my gosh, he went And he said his name and I was like, fucking hell. Like, you were at Twine at school. But he's lovely now. He's done really well for himself. Does he?

Yeah, he's daughter's winning. His daughter won the pride of the South Townside Award. Lovely guy. But the last time I saw him as a child, he was sniffing gas that he put on his tie from the bun, like the buds and burn his head. It's just boffing gas all afternoon. Sorry, so he's spraying the gas onto the tie. He just used to sniff it all. Like a rag with chloroform.

Yeah. I met a lad when I was home at my mums really recently. And I met a lad who I was at school where I see him. He's lived in my hometown since we were at school. And he's a mate, you know. And we were just, I've been to the supermarket and we were just sitting outside the supermarket chatting about school days.

And it's so funny how it starts to come back and how you've normalised things that happened. And I remembered that I watched him chase our drama teacher across the drama studio with, you know, those big cans of hairspray. Well, you don't know, you know old enough, but in the 80s, the girls all seem to have a bag with a can of hairspray like this.

Yeah, yeah. And I know he, I won't know, I shouldn't, shouldn't name their name, should I. He got one of those giant cans of hairspray off a girl, and he got a lighter, and he lit it like a flamethrower. And he was chasing our drama teacher. What the shit? Rang the studio.

And I remember him going, oh, stop that. Stop that, don't be so silly. And it's literally a four-foot flame going, whey! Oh, God. Fantastic. And the flamethrer. Same kid, same drama teacher. The drama teacher came in because the head, our head,

thought drama was pathetic, not a proper subject. It was the first time drama had ever been done the year I did drama there. Because the head thought it was just ponsy nonsense. So it'd get no budget. And the drama teacher kept begging him for money. And in the end, he gave him money for one set of playbooks. And he came in all proud going, the head has finally given us the money.

And I've got these lovely, beautiful playbooks. And we'll be going through these during the time. I remember how excited he was. And later that lesson, the same boy, flamethrower boy, went, he went, hey, hey. He called me into the store cupboard. He cut them all in half.

With a big pair of scissors. He destroyed them all. Every single one is a fucking psychopath. Oh, no. He's done well for himself. He is. He does, yeah, he's totally normal. Oh, no.

God. Oh, why do I feel so sorry? I have to say, it was one of the most awful and one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life. I was absolutely down the line of, this is appalling, and this is a work of comedy genius. Yeah, it's brilliant. Yeah. In half, up the spine. No, no.

Cross the middle of the street. You couldn't even bother him. It was like a chunk of ages. It was 35 foot. Oh, my God. And they were thick. He would have had to have really, like. That's absolutely fucking psychotic

That's the harshest thing I've ever And the drama teacher when he found them She just started crying Just started weeping That's so sad Yeah everyone's fine That is still alive It's all right

Oh god that's what I'm fucking Just a gentle weep as well Not a sob Just like Oh man We've run out of time Have we? That is flown.

I looked at the clock there and I was like, oh my God. Oh, Buzzcox. It's on Sky now. Buscox is on Sky, your tour, which I'm going to come to the Newcast Arena one if you don't mind. Oh, because of your course. Yeah, I'd love to see that. Rosie is good of the kids, which doesn't know until I've just said it. So that's going to be good.

Great. Taskmaster's obviously on. Just on. Just all the time in it. It's just cracking on. That's all going well. Join Greg's mail on list. I would love, I would love people to watch Buzzcox because I do think this is a great series.

It's, it was. It was so fun when I did it. And like I say, dare I say it, I don't want to slag anything off. But when I did it when it was on the BBC, years ago, I was like, oh, this is the show I've seen on the telly for years and years and years. But when I did it on Sky, I was like,

this is a new version. This is revived. And I'm telling you, it was great. It was really good fun. And I'm not bullshit and I wouldn't just say that. It was great. I do you think we're just having fun. Yeah, it was.

And in the first episode, you know, Beers from Happy Mondays is a team captain. That alone. That alone. That alone, he shouldn't be in charge of putting his own trousers on. Oh, yeah. He's the people we've just chat about in the school stories.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's 100% bears. He is living life by his own rules, that man. I love him. He's hilarious. I don't think I've told you that. Have I told you this, Rosie? When I lived in Manchester, I was looking at a new flat to rent

and a proper Manchester estate agent waters into this flat. And he only said one thing about the flat. You know, they've got to sell you wait and they tell you know, where's South Face and all this rubbish. And he just went there. Bears used to live here.

I went, right? You went, so. I went, is that it? Oh, and that's it? You went, yeah, I went, okay. And I looked around and I left because I thought, there's probably drugs in the fucking walls. Well, God knows what will have happened in that place.

He must be five, ten years older than me, Beers, and he's just still got the energy of an excited child. Good for him. Having a great time. Living life. Good for him. Anyway, please watch it. I'm dead proud of it.

And thanks for having me on this. This has been lovely. You're welcome. Thank you so much. It's been really fun. I'm going to have to get my makeup. I need to go and have a lie down. I haven't have a laugh so much.

Greg Davis. Thank you so much, sir. Thank you. Thank you.