Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Please Keep Me Anonymous with Greg James and Alice Levine

Episode Date: May 20, 2026

On the podcast this week Chris and Rosie Ramsey are joined by hosts of the new podcast Bad Chat and the team behind the Crossed Wires podcast festival ( AKA Radio and Podcast Royalty), Greg James and Alice Levine! What happens when four chatty broadcasters sit down in a room together? A whole lot! They discuss Greg and Alice's new podcast, Bad Chat, Greg's family member at Chris's gig and the pros and cons of doing a podcast as a married couple! They also chat about the joys of listener interaction and what makes the audience really angry! All this, plus an email from a listener who would like some advice...anonymously! You can listen and watch Bad Chat wherever you get your podcasts and for tickets to the the Crossed Wires festival visit crossedwires.live/line-up If you want to get involved and have your stories and voice notes included on the podcast, then get in touch! 📧: [e-mail] 📱: 07874 406650 You can watch the podcast on the Shagged Married Annoyed YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@shagged.married.annoyed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

From the pitch to the stands to communities around the world. The beautiful game is coming to our beautiful country. Uniting fans around a shared passion. Now you have the opportunity to hold this chapter of Canadian soccer history in the palm of your hands. Score the FIFA World Cup 2026 one dollar coin today. Look forward in your change. For you all listening and watching, Shagmire, I'm going toad. Please keep me anonymous.

And this week we are joined. by the hosts of the bad chat podcast and the team behind the crossed wires podcast festival, it's Alice Levine and Greg James. We're in a right good laugh. Really, really, really, really good laugh. I've known Greg for years. I've known Greg for years. It's a great guy.

Alice, that's the first time I've had a full-on chat with ours. Me too. Unbelievably funny. Well, as a die-hard, porno, my dad wrote a porno. Yes, I'm a fan of just porno in general, but carry on. Obviously. Not since you've got to put your email in. No.

But that was great. really, really nice to meet her and she's so funny loved it loved every second of it brilliant both of them are really easy

you get a VPN by the way I'll tell you by the lead I'm not getting a VPN I'm fine I live without it I'm fine great

so yes please please subscribe if you're watching on YouTube and if you're just listening enjoy

Miss Paul we had a fight about the jingle we couldn't set along a jingle jing go so this is the jingle jing go

we're hoping You like the jingo do do do bado do bapadoo babado do babadu babadu bao Jingo! No, but you just did a thousand kilometres on a bike. I did. And you were, were you in Sondland for the big weekend? We're doing big weekend. I'm going to something next week for a whole week, yeah.

Right, so you know, I was really weird. I was on the school run, right? And Rosie rang us and she went, I've just been, see me. Greg James is in Sondland. He's in that middle bit and they said that are you driving past it? I was like, I think she was right. We should pop in and see hi. I don't think that's how it works.

You could have popped in. Oh, hello, me. That would have been great. I popped in and said hi. Yeah. We were in Keel Square. Yeah. So we've been there.

So we launched Big Weekend in January. We did finish one of the legs of the challenge in Sunderland. And then we're going back next week to do the buildup for big weekend in Sunland. Harrington Park. Harrington Park, yeah. But he hates talking about the ride. Please don't talk about the ride. He hates about the home.

I didn't bring it up. All the money he raised, he hates talking about it. I didn't bring it up. He's the national treasure, but you would never say that. I didn't bring up. I didn't bring it. We don't get a knighthood. We don't know, but he doesn't want to talk about it.

Let's be honest, that's the only reason he's doing it. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. What I will say is the reception in the North East. Yeah. Best. Best place in the world. It's amazing.

It is. I love it. I came forth and strictly just because of the Northeast. Yeah. Just because of the Northeast people. Yeah. And those hips. And they don't like.

They don't like. You know why you came for. He's still dancing, though. No, I can't know? No. You can still do it, can't you? Not really. You never dance since?

I still do a bit of Charleston. It's a terrible dance. You still do a bit of Charleston. I can do the little, the footstwiff of the Charles. I thought it was a stand-up show now and then. Would you do it like from, you know, hob to fridge? Would you just do a little... I think of our houses?

Yeah, we live in the north. It's massive. I'll be knackard. I can't dance from Hob to fridge. It's two post-court. And I was just thinking there's not enough distance between mine to do a move. Yeah, yeah. I'll tandem bike it.

That was actually... That was going to be one of the legs. One of the legs was going to be from your front door to your back garden. Yeah, you wouldn't survive it. That would have been 90 miles. 90 miles on a day would have been my longest day. How much did you raise? I can't remember.

It was like 4.6 million. Sharp. That's amazing. That's so good. It was a cool week. Well done. Well done. Should we give them a clutch?

Does it live around? Yeah, I think. No, I don't need any more praise. It was a mad thing, though. Quiet claps for the mics. They're really pathetic. Well, we actually. Oh, have you seen this, by the way.

We've seen this recently. Horrible. It's a clad thing. It's all, for everyone listening, it's the little hand, little, like, finger clap. It makes his want to vomit. I remember in school used to do that, two finger on the, like, little. The cloud clap now, you're not seeing that. Oh, they just waved, isn't there?

Who's like cloud clap? In schools. Oh. Hey, big cloud clap now. And for the purposes of audio, we're pretending we're holding a beach ball. Yeah. Yeah, you just kind of too. Why is this?

Yeah, why do you clap up? I think it's for children who are a bit sensitive to like loud noises. Yes. Yeah, no clapping. So it's quite eerie. You do something amazing in class and it's just, Silence. I remember when

COVID happened and people started doing stand-up comics started doing gigs driving gigs and I heard that if you if the latter

I never did one rather die rather catch COVID and I heard that if you did well they would beep and I was like I'm not having that

I can't I'm not I'm not having that so sad you understand so instead so for like a clap everyone would start

beeping a beep's a heckle but in my opinion a beep is a heckle a beep is a heckle a heckle in traffic isn't it you're heck

the traffic. On stage, like a driving theatre. Well, it'll be like a big field somewhere, driving, everyone does the drive. But like, I find it. Are you telling me that doesn't put you off? I wouldn't do it. Yeah, I wouldn't, I wouldn't have done them.

And now I was very lucky. We had the podcast and I didn't have to do one. But I remember thinking, I get distracted when someone gets up with the toilet in a comedy club. Imagine if, oh. Beep, beep. My auntie. Oh my God.

Yes. Auntie Pam? He phoned me one morning when I was on two out. I forgot all about this. Well, I don't know this story. Well, my auntie interrupted your comedy show. Yes. Yeah, at Weymouth Pavilion.

Weymouth Pavilion. And we got you on the radio the next day because she got up and did she drop some drinks? She was a, like a, you know, the person who's, well, she was working there. She was selling out the ice creams and stuff. She dropped a full tree of them while I was on. And I was like, what the hell? And I was like, obviously, not nasty, but give her a bit of grief. Well, I gave her a lot of grief that I realized she was a nice lady who worked there.

So the grief got reined in quite a bit. And yeah, next morning, Greg, James is ringing us up on the, you've been shouting my hand. It was Auntie Pam. All my cousin's like. Pam. Chris Ramsey had a go at Pam. I know. I also love the grief bat and pedal. You're like, what the, hey, Ben. Matt, you work here?

Yeah. Not humble. It's all the ice creams before the defrosted. What are you like? Oh, get out of it. Yeah. Oh. You look a bit like Greg.

She was. Yeah. Did she not say it on the time at the time? She didn't. She was very cool, but it was the phone call the next day. Imagine immediately. She's just dropping your name. Leave me alone.

James's auntie. I will drop as much ice cream as I want. He's the goddamn breakfast toast of Radio 1. I can't remember. Did someone get in touch with this? Or did you just ring us or messages off the bell? I think my cousins might have let me know. Yeah, but I'm saying, did you?

I don't think my management got in touch. I think you just rang us off the balance. Yeah. Yeah. Get me, Ramsey. Yeah. Not much content, dear. Ramsey been heckling me, auntie.

Are you joking? That is got, that is the content we all won. Yeah. Waking up to that is like the dream. Chris Ramsey's had to go up my auntie. Yeah. Yeah. We cancelled Timothy Shalemae.

Taylor Swift. Tell us with it's done. There was no music that day. It was just that. It turned it into five live. Fam having a moment. You guys are doing a podcast together. Yes.

Nice. About time. Yeah. Isn't it? We really feel like we're joining at the... People aren't doing many of them. So we thought... It's about time you, of all people,

dip your tour in the podcast. Yeah, I just thought... You could do really well out of them. the sound of these. Yes, we are. Any advice? Get married? It's on the cause.

I think I'm with third wife. Third wife? Third wife down the, not at the same time. You mean down the line? No, not my third marriage. Yeah, third, yeah. Not my third, not collecting them. No, like my third marriage could be honest.

That's fine. I mean, could. What happened? What? Who's getting married? I think Greg suggesting his current wife would die or you'd get divorced. then there'd be another wife

and then he would consider marrying me which I think... I think there'd be a buffer. Yeah. It'd have to be a buffer. Okay. Listen, it's good. Have a friendship.

People would kill to be third wife. That's a win in my book. Yeah, I know. I can't hope for more. Yeah. Do you feel like it strengthened your marriage? Because I did a podcast with my actual wife, Bella, and we hated it by the end.

Oh, right. It's a lot of that. Well, it's just... I know, but I know you've cleverly put it into the show, but actually there's also like a real thing behind it sometimes when you're like, The last thing you want to do is just sit and chat with them all day. God, yeah. But on mic as well.

And laughing at the jokes. Oh, well, sometimes. I mean, there's days I just don't. Yeah. And they don't. But I think our... Just pipe in the laughter. Yeah.

I think our listeners know and they kind of get it. And it's like... But there has been times when we're having to... We give ourselves. It's the most ridiculous thing ever. We give ourselves a buffer of like three days to do the podcast. Yeah. Right.

Genuinely. Because it's like if we're not speaking, we can't do it. Just can't do it. Oh, not a buffer of not talking to each other. So you have chat. Yeah. No, a buffer of, we'll do it Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday, and we'll see what day will feel.

We'll have to leave them free. So people will, you just sit down and talk for an hour. It takes three days to do. It's a lot. But has it, honestly, I think about this quite a lot, actually, because we don't know any different. We were married, obviously, for a little bit, but that was the really happy.

Yeah. You know, and you're really happy at the beginning. But also pandemic, though, as well. We did it in the pandemic. So, like, quite, yeah. We were married before then. We were made before then. Yeah, but that was when we were, that was like, that was nice.

That was the good times. Well, no, 2015, pandemic happened 2020. They were good times. Yeah. But I don't know anything else. Yeah. Because you're institutionalized into the podcast. Institutionalized.

Yeah. You're like in, you're in. Basically. I know nothing else is quite strong as well. Am I happy? I don't even know. Who knows what happiness is anymore, right? I think that sometimes on the brink.

breakfast show where I, me and my producers will just go, do we, well, what do we actually like? Because we've, we've spent, I've spent so many years just, just like, watching and listening to loads of the, kind of all the listeners love. I'm like, what do I, what's my actual personality? Do I, do I like this? Oh, no, it's good. No, it is good. I, do I like, I don't know what I like anymore. Yeah. I'm with you. So kind of like that, but also, yes, it's better. I think we do it really well and I think we're still happily married. But also we learned one of the things is that our marriage is genuinely like more important than all of this.

Yeah. You'd hope so. You would hope so. Well, I think I think that more than you. Chris doesn't agree. Yeah. I think we've seen them as one and the same thing. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Well. With the cost of gas right now, which one's more important? Yeah, that's true. I sacrifice. So just to sum up, we're not married. But we do have a podcast.

Yeah. It's called Bad Chat. Bad Chat. Yes. And I hope that it will be a podcast marriage of many years. Yeah, yeah. Only on episode once. Yeah.

But I've known Alice for so long. Yeah. And I've wanted to do, we've never actually done a work thing together. But we've been friends for ages. In the orbit. You were on the orbit. Yeah. And she would always, I'd be on, do we do radio stuff together?

But it would never be like official. And obviously Alice is like the fairy pod mother. Yeah. Yeah. I was a big, I was a big porn fan. Yeah, but she was doing it before it was even a thing, really. I invented them, yeah. Inventing podcasts.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you did world tours. It's a burden I have to carry. You're welcome for your livelihood. Listen, you're very much paved the way for us. Like, yeah, we were, yeah, definitely. We'll copy that model. Thank you.

We were coming, when we were coming up with the name of the podcast and we said Shagmonged, someone on our team was like, ah, shagged, it's a little bit, and we were like, but it should be fine. They went, calling it shagged. They went, my dad wrote a porno. You know, porno, that gave them. That was hard for them.

We were like, oh, it's done them. It's terribly. They've suffered so badly. Can you imagine if we had a better name? We would have flown. But no, people did say that back then. They said that we wouldn't, we wouldn't become anything. Look, we showed them.

Yeah, well, that was when there were three podcasts. So, yeah, you either listen to our podcast or the other two, whatever they were. I was telling you about cereal. Exactly. Our cereal on the radio. And then we got Channel 4, didn't we? More podcasts came along. Yeah, it was a long time ago.

But we were saying that we have done, obviously we've done radio. We've done our Greg has 13 podcasts. And one for every day of the year. And we were just like, we want to do one where we kind of, like you, chat like we would chat. You know, we don't have to hit the news or, you know, be on topic or have a theme. Play Alex Warren. Exactly. Play Alex Warren three times an hour.

So I feel like what we've struggled with is telling people what it is because it's kind of whatever we want it. It's free, it's free, yeah. But that's the joy of your podcast. It's like, it's stuff. Yeah. Stuff and listeners and emails and, I mean, dare I say it, radio. Oh.

You know, you did radio. Yeah. You did loads of radio. Yeah. And it's just that sort of, let's run with that bit now. Let's take that tiny little idea and go, make it that go. Mm-hmm. Nowhere.

Maybe the next one. Yeah. And that's sort of how, I mean, we, like any good friendship, you exchange just bits the whole time. And it's just either piss-taking or sending each other ridiculous stuff that makes us laugh. So that's sort of what it would be. We want it to be a podcast that people just go, oh yeah, we're going to send that to Alison Gregg. They'll love that.

A kind of club, I guess. Those are the best sorts of radio shows and podcasts, aren't they? It's unbelievable. Like, oh, our listeners, the stuff they've sent us over the, like, I thank them all the time. Like, because I've said this before, when I first got into telling them, we're like, oh, because you do comedy, you do stand up and you chat to the crowd and you get loads of good stuff from the crowd. And then you start doing telling you, you go, oh, the crowd.

Oh, no, not the crowd. Yeah, it's funny, isn't it? And you go, what the heck? And then we start doing this and we're like, oh, we'll get the people to send stuff in. And they're like, God, man, there's still that this day. Unbelievable stuff that they keep sending in. It's phenomenal. But it's the sort of, it's the, it's the Terry Wogan trick back in the old days where he just

did sort of three or four years of that breakfast show that he did on Radio 2. and then he just said, I think it was in his book, he just said, then the listeners just write the show for you every day. Really, you just have to be the person in the middle to bring it all together and just like throw in the funny little bit. And that TV thing I find so interesting because if you watch a show like Graham Norton, obviously he's the best in the world at his job. But it's so funny how the stars, the A-listers are like the main thing.

And at the end, they're like, let's put that funny listener in the chair and then flush them away if they do a shit story. Yeah, yeah. Well, you've just had some guests on and tell pretty shit stories. I can't get rid of fucking Tom Hidleston or whatever. You know, but you've, I find that so strange. And I've always kind of gone with radio. It's always the listeners have all the good stuff.

Yeah. And they actually make the celebrity way funnier because the interaction between a listener called Darren who's just like on his, you know, just driving around or whatever. Yeah. Talking to The Rock, that's way funnier than just hearing from The Rock. Totally. Yeah.

The listeners always have the best stuff because they're truly engaged in what you're doing. I think you're going to get some really good stuff. It's sort of like, do you ever go and look at all the comments under like an annoying video or like... It's all I do. People are so funny. People's comments are so funny. And I read them and I'm like, if I could have come up with that one liner. And your job is being like a paediatrician or like a builder or like a lawyer.

And yet you've done the best singer I've seen all day. Yeah. A 6,000 likes on an Instagram thing. Honestly, they kill me. They kill me. Visit BetMGM casino and check out the newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick. BetMDM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly.

19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2,600 to speak to an advisor. Free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming Ontario. There was a bit that was on the first episode, which Alice, what was it about the, well, you should explain it.

It was your finding. The moment. The moment. My friend who's a doctor told me that horses' legs are their fingers. So through evolution they have turned into legs, but they are fingers and they're, there's disgusting. It's disgusting. It's disgusting. It's chilling.

And there's more to it than that, and it's more complicated than that. Of course, we didn't realize that or do that. So now everybody on the internet's really mad at me. And it's been clipped up and it's got, like, wildfire. And I'm, like, every two to three years I'll post something on Instagram. You know, like, I'm a social media guru. And so the first thing that I've said on the internet since like 1994, it's gone mad.

There's a pile on. There's a major pile. What are people not happy or something? I think there's. Oh, people aren't. What? It's really united. I've got questions.

about this horse. Sure, sure, sure. And I'm definitely the person to answer it. But the funny, the funniest comment that I saw, which I might even steal for the next episode, without crediting the guy. Yeah. He was like, so that makes,

so that essentially makes the entire horse a hand. Yeah. Yeah. My question is, is that four fingers, or is that four legs where one fingers took over on each leg? Thank you for your question, Chris. So, just to explain this, in terms you'll understand.

I don't know. I don't know. I'm so out of my depth. I don't know. Were they at one point just like a carcass being dragged along with little nubbins? They used to roll them. Like, yeah, little ones.

Horses, used to just roll horses. At one point they were a fist and then they did sort of own girls. Who was this friend? Are they a doctor of it? This is the thing. The comments are like, your friend should be struck off.

Oh, for God. People are so angry. But what's really funny. about it is. And he has been. We had so many he's been arrested. He's been arrested.

He's in front of a tribunal as he should be. But we said so many things on that episode and it's the stuff that you don't even think about that really catches people's imaginations.

And people, my favourite comment was you absolute Brit. And I didn't know that that was an insult but people are you absolute brick because a lot of Americans

in the comments are really? Very livid. People just loving to have a sense of humour bypass it as well because people are like, did she not learn this at school? I'm like, learn this. This is not my, this is. What lesson is that? What else that in? I learned about the,

just yeah, don't pay no attention. Just give them the horse's leg. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. But that's the stuff. And also when. It's actually, actually, that is excellent. Lovely. Lovely. Actually, all four of us can make up a horse. Yes. Yes. Yeah. I got a horse on me on. Oh my God. Yeah. So, no. Now I'm never posting anything on the internet. No, well, I would stick away from, like, religion, evolution, all that kind of stuff.

The big three, religion, evolution, horses, equestrian legs. As soon as people, as soon as you put a different opinion on the internet, that's it. They're just like, well, we're obviously fighting now. But you know what my problem is, though? I don't know whether it's because of where I was brought up or just, I just want to fight them. Sure. So part of me wants to go, all right then, babe, come and let's come and we'll meet up and we'll have a fight. So that's why I can't look because I will message them and go where you live.

That's why I find the traitors. I find the traitors amazing, but I find it to be a tough watch because I'm not from a place where you sit around a table telling people what you think of them and it doesn't end up in the fucking car park. Shathing that someone's a lie. It's really funny. Well, I think you're a lie and I think you're two-faced. Well, this table's getting flipped over and we're going in the fucking car park.

Like, do you understand? I would love this. You just write on a little board and it just goes, they're busy filming now aren't they? Yeah, they're doing the new one now. Would you? Surely, yes. Oh, I would love to.

I'm a fan of it. We'd get voted. We'd get voted. They'd be like, you're a couple. No one would trust with it. I think it would be... I don't think it's because you're a couple. I think it's because you're untrustworthy.

No? I'm back. Car park now. Please don't. The shoulder. Even the mime. I was like, I'm not committing. What have you done to your back?

Oh, I don't know. I woke up and it was... Oh, the worst way to injure yourself, sleeping wrong. I know. Isn't it pathetic? It's so sad. It's so, so, so sad. And I feel so sorry for myself. And I also feel delighted because I'm on co-codamol.

I don't know what any of you are saying. I'm like, hey, yeah, good one. This is going to very quickly turn into what it's like when my mum and dad see some of their friends and all they talk about ailments the whole time. You wouldn't believe it. Well, his knee is getting better. Yeah.

But the shoulder needs attention. But Marion's wrist is still, it's not back to normal yet. And she just slipped up the step. Could happen to any of us. The most pathetic ways of hurting yourself. Biting the inside of your mouth. Literally eating yourself. Devastole you.

Sleeping wrong. Your body's gone out. Stubbing your toes up there. Stubbing your toes up there. I broke my toe. Stopping it? By stubbing it. I've never heard a noise like it.

It sounded like an egg hitting a tile. So I've got like an island and I just turned round to leave the room and I just whack, like on the... Pure marble. On the thing. It was awful. Pure marble. Wow.

He's dancing around with the dinner. Can you take this seriously, please? It's all going on. Right. I'm still working with an egg dropped on the floor. That's the sound. The noise was egg. An egg being dropped on a tail.

Like a raw egg. Like a crap. I've never heard a noise like in my life. And she just dropped to the deck. Yeah. Sorry, it's not funny. Was it? Was it a bit?

Not a bit funny. No, no. No, the noise made it not funny. I don't laugh that much when people get when they're hurt. If I'm with them and they get hurt, I don't laugh that much. But in video form, quite nice. Video form. If I don't know.

If I'm scrolling, that's the funniest thing I've ever seen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Face planting on a concrete slab. Got your CCTV in the house? Oh, come into my veins. Yeah. What did you say? I was only CCTV in the house.

That would have gone viral. It would have. Now everyone just wants to go viral. That's how they make their money, $250. $250. $250. Alice is not on the internet, so it thinks that every clip is like you've been praying. still.

Was that what your reference was there from the 250? It was on. It's probably so many people will not have got that at all for that time. Sorry for being really young. We won't return your tapes. I just think 250 quid was a lot

until I worked in telly and then I worked out how long an episode of you've been of, yeah, you've been free in-bors and how many, and like, they won't make an episode for five grand. Yeah. And it was voice over.

I was voice over. So there's no presenter. And that's unbelievable. Oh no, Beedle. Well, yeah, Beedle. Then Lisa Ryder. than Harry Hill. That's the real era's tour for me.

You've been framed. It was Beedle, Lisa Riley for Imodale, then it was Harry Hill. God, I love to be you being framed. Our kids still sometimes watch programs like that. I think they're called like, what they're called on YouTube, just laughing or something.

What are they called? No, but the kids love it. Oh, it's the mine one. It's the French one. Is it? It's the one they do like little mime tricks. No, oh no, I know what you're thinking of. It's not that.

This is just you've been friends. framed but on YouTube. I love you describing you being framed when you're like, yeah, I think I know what it is. Is it a subtitled film set in the countryside in France? Yeah, it's about a young woman who has a difficult relationship with her father. And I think by the end, it's different. It's different, which are my different things. I really wish it was about highbrow.

It's basically a man like prilling a handkey out of someone's ear. I wish it was highbrow. You've changed since you've wrote that boo. Babadoo, babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babu babu babu bad. You guys have got a story. Yes. To read out. We have no idea what this is.

Okay. So, really, though. No, genuinely. Promise. You know what is? You're sorry, sorry, sorry. No, I'm going to have to say it. You sound like the reviewers who reviewed our live tour.

And it literally said weird. I am the reviewers, the review. It literally said. He claims he doesn't know what the emails say, but he clearly doesn't. And I didn't. Every single night, I didn't know what the email see. It's called acting, darling. I just rift.

It's called being a goddamn comedian. Didn't you sell out the O2? We did sell out the O2. Fuck those guys. That is. Fuck you. All to Wembley Palladium on the C.M. Same night.

Same night. The taxi driver was loving. Okay, guys. Right, 20,000 people are over the road. We're going to Wembley to do this all again. And it's new emails. New emails, I promise. He claims he hasn't seen what he has.

45 minutes ago. Does he think we're thick? Okay. What we're doing? Are we reading one word each? I'm going, I guess I believe. Okay. Okay.

Ready? Or in harmony? Don't look at mine. Is it the same one? A different one. You've got the second half. Oh, okay. Dear Chris and Rosie,

Hello. Please keep me anonymous. Always. Let's docks them now. I'm writing to you with the dilemma. My partner and I have always had a very adventurous sex life. Good. All right.

And I've recently got into The Lifestyle. For those that are unaware, it's swinging. Swinging. We get a lot of swingers. They call it the Lifestyle. Sounds like a leisure centre, doesn't it? It's a David Lloyd Centre initiative. It's called The Lifestyle.

You do paddle, you do tennis, you do swimming, you do shagging. Dogging. Yeah, dogging. Dogging and paddle. Any congey paddle. Included in the package. Thank you. Well done.

Oh, for goodness sake. Sorry. Sorry. Start again. Start again. No, no, no. Just from the light style. We're not starting again.

From the everything from the top. Let's do 10 more minutes on the word lifestyle. And sit down. Greg and Alice, nice to see you. Okay. We both enjoy watching the other person receive pleasure from others. Brilliant. It might sound strange.

No. But it works for us and our relationship has dramatically improved since starting. There is a very popular website for those involved in the lifestyle, and you can search for profiles near you. Imagine my shock horror when, whilst browsing the site, I saw someone with tattoos that I recognised. And in said photo, they're in, let's say, a compromising position with another person. Important to note that on this website, you can see the people who have viewed your profile.

To be fair, to be clear, that says it here. I'm not just telling you that. People can view your profile. you can view this. Is that card blank? And then you see... This is actually an advert. Is that card blank?

I'll just say, it's important to note that on the website, if you go on someone's profile, just for a future reference, they can see you've been on it. Okay, they can see that you've been on. Something about tattoos. Anyway, what would you do? Use the code Alice Levine for 15% off. Alice 20, hashtag.

Yes. With this in mind, and to limit any potential awkwardness, I didn't view the profile and scroll past it. So it's like sexy LinkedIn, where if you click on them, they can see that you've been there. Oh, they can see, okay. Okay. Right.

That would be a good name. I thought nothing of it. Until a few days later, I was going through photos on my phone. And I saw a photo from a few years back of myself and my dad on holiday. My dad is shirtless in the photo. No. And if you hadn't already guessed, we've already guessed. Yes, the tattoos were on show.

This is in capitalizers. The same tattoos. I saw in the profile on Alice Levine's website. Should have redacted that bit. I really regret typing this out at all. My parents split when I was young and he hasn't had a relationship since. I was absolutely mortified and now I have no idea what to do. So guess what I'm asking is what do I do and how do I approach this situation?

I'm pretty sure he hasn't viewed my partner and mine's profile. However, I'm scared he may come across this. It's obviously not something I want to discuss with my father. What should I do? Any advice you can give would be much appreciated. Leave the website. Leave the country. Why should she? She's having a nice time.

First of all, first question. It's a website. She doesn't have to do her dad. I must make clear she doesn't have to do her dad. That's one of the founding tenets of the website. You don't have to do your dad. All, okay. So first of all, good podcast title.

Yeah, you'd have to do that. Welcome. That's like a mashup of all of the podcasts. Yeah, they have ever been made. Just surrender. And remember, you don't have to do your dad. See you next week. We should do a podcast together.

We should do another one together, call that. Yeah. Just about about the last time. You don't have to do Shaggy Dad doing a porn. It says that her dad, the Brahma Dad broke up. So then then it said the dad hasn't had a relationship since. Yeah. So he's on a, no, no, but he's on a Swinger's website.

How? Surely, do you not have to, this is going to sound really bad. Do you not have to bring? No, she's not had a relationship with him. No, no, it says he's not. No, it says he's not. But I think you can join a couple that swing. You're just a solo player.

You don't have to bring your own merchandise. I don't know if it's a team, if you have to be in a team. They've got names. Women are unicorns. Yeah. Because there's not many single women. Oh, they want to be shocked by strangers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I believe that.

And men, they've got a certain name. And I've totally forgot. It's something like, it's like cowboy or something. No. Pigs. It's probably pigs. But so there's obviously like the couple, and then if you want to just be, you know, like a rogue, the plus one, And that's what he, the dad might just be that.

He might be just a cop for hire. A cop for hire. There are no stupid questions. This is a safe space. Anything more, Chris? It's like weird. We want you to feel comfortable. Are these all in the FAQs on your website?

They're all there. And we also offer a kind of one-to-one mentoring session before you, you know, proceed. Can do that via Zoom? Into the community, absolutely. Thank you. The thing is with this, I would, I feel like they're all open-minded enough to just talk about it. Do you know what I think? Fair.

Swingers except swingers, I just feel like, you know, just say it. But all, you know, so your profile, Dad. I guess. Well, welcome to the movie. I just feel like she's going to be, if they're within the same sphere, she's going to be looking over our shoulder, quite literally. Hopefully, he's not there. Oh, God.

Hopefully. This one's gone, Sam, so too sweet. Here's my thing. You don't want to, and obviously I've done a whole podcast about dads and pornography. You don't, and actually documentaries about Swinner. But you never want to think about your parents having sex. I would say especially with your other parent. Like I think that's worse than thinking of your parent having sex with a stranger.

Right. But you also have, no, I think it is, isn't it? I don't know. It's all quite bad. It's all quite bad. Everyone's thinking right now. Everyone's like, everyone's thinking about it. It's all quite bad.

Everyone listening now, think about your parents having sex. Now swap out one of those parents for a stranger. Well, easy. Please let Rose and Chris know. That's worse. But I do think On some weird level You also want them to be

Happy and right You want them to be having a nice time Is it just me? Yeah no no that's absolutely No yeah that's very that is very open-minded of you I love that Very modern You're so modern

It's why I should phone with this entire And I lost everyone I lost the room No I think no I lost the room And I feel very exposed No because parents deserve a good sex life too I don't want to be on the same website as them

Well yeah That one of them's got to leave. End off. One of them's got to leave. Can you block people on this website? Maybe. That would be my suggestion. You usually come on a dating app.

Right? My suggestion would be to block her father. Yeah. Block them. Block them. Block them. Good and hard. But I'm kind of what you're using.

Did not need the good and hard. Sorry. Question, how don't you know what your dad's tattoos look like? That's weird, isn't it? I mean, that's the real troubling thing about this story, isn't it? Yeah, I guess. But you would... You'd know them off by heart.

Maybe if you'd know. If you saw them up. No, say, balls. I can tell you where my dad's malls are. Good you? Where are they? Okay, wait, weirder thing. We're going to get it.

Map him. Let's draw him and we'll map him now. Sorry. Weirder than being on the same story. So, no, I didn't, I didn't think this would come up, but we actually don't ever play a kid's parties. We don't play, playing the tail on the donkey, we pay, put them all on the dad. Put the mole on your dad. You know what I mean, though.

Just have a big photo, a massive A3 photo with our dad's back. And we all run put mulls on it. And then he comes out, takes his shirt off and he goes out and we'll see how many is right. Dipper. She knows all the constellations. They're doing a dot to dot on his back. Yeah, yeah, it's great. Sorry.

You think you know where all the moles are on your dad's back. Fucking weirdest thing anyone's ever said. You need to be arrested on the spot. Are you moly? No, okay, so in my defence. I'm not molly. My dad used to get really hot. Do you know like Friday night dinner when the dad's always got the top off?

You're not making it better. You're not making it. It's getting worse in it. It's getting worse. Yeah. You think your dad's hot. You love it when his tops off. Come on moles.

Look at those moles. In the summer, you'd look forward to it. you've done yourself. Can I press them? You see what you've done? Dad, can I track your moles again? Oh my gosh. It's horrible.

Honestly, how many photos in your camera roll or have your dad's back? There it is. Camera mole. Camera mole. Yeah. Listen, good look with your podcast. Good love with your mole mapping. I wrap this up, yeah.

All right, love your dad. Can I ask one more question before we move on from the mall? Is it about my dad's back? No, about your dad. I just want to know what's his name? Derek. Great. This is a great dad name.

I wanted to check. I can imagine Derek's moles. Does Derek feel happy that you're telling everybody that he's incredibly moly? He'll be fine. Yeah. You'd not be asked. I never said he had a lot.

How many is you got? How many? Estimate. It's like a fair with all the sweets in a bowl. Got one on his arm. How many? Don't use the back. Tell us the back ones.

And how low does back go? Should we do a test? I've got a moly arm. I'll flash it quickly and tell me how many there are. He's brought. His microphone is out. excited. Three.

Look. That's at least 15. What are you doing your microphone? Slide it back down. What's happened? Sorry. So excited. He's up on top of his microphone.

That is the best claim I have ever heard. To be honest, it's put this in context. I'm like, oh, this is by accident. This happens. You know, people end up in the same dating websites. You. I don't care about this guy. I don't care about this.

You need to go on one of these cards. And I'm not keeping you anonymous. That's for damn sure. You should be outed. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. wipe the whole thing.

The mole molesterer. I'm just mortified. Maltified. Moulified. Mournified. You married into it. You chose it. Yeah, it's bad.

It is bad. Well done. Thank you. Babadoo, babadoo, babadu, babadu. You've also got the crossed wires festival, the podcast festival. Tell us about this. We've put all of our eggs in one basket. Well, I was tricked into it by,

well, I was tricked into it because I went and did a show with Alice the first year that they started the festival. And actually, I loved it so much. and you two will love it because it's very much like the Edinburgh Festival in terms of its spirit and it's sort of, it's the reason it exists it takes over venues in Sheffield and puts on big podcasts

and then the fans of that podcast can stumble across it or they can actually book tickets for it. So it's more, it's less like a, you can have like a podcast like Expo which is like, welcome to, like Lanyards on, welcome to the podcast show or we'll talk about the best way to optimise audiences going forward into 2027.

It's not that, it's more. of a sort of fun thing. Parties, after parties, meet and greet. Like a lifestyle thing. Yeah. It's a lifestyle thing. It's a swingers podcast festival. Oh.

Actually, that is true. There's like crossovers from certain podcasts to others. Their podcasts do swing. Brilliant. Yeah. Yeah. There's cross-pollination. We tried to book you two.

Yeah. But we got a very promising out of office. So thank you for that. I'm so welcome. Any day getting over the reply. Second to the 5th of July. in Sheffield. Apparently you're on holiday

until February 2028 and you're going to get back to us then. Yeah. Busy. It was one of those. Oh, no, no, I can't. When is it? I think maybe Rosie's stopping a toe that day.

We'd be lucky to have you. No, this between the second and the 5th of July, this year? Is that this year? No, that is the annual, we're counting malls on your dad. Count of me, that's. I knew there was something.

Yeah, that's the stock take to my on. I was on a stock take on. It's done. Take it's back. It takes a while. Yeah. Would you say it's larger? Much like you, Greg,

I got rooblin to this, you see. I count with them once, got rooblin. I'm now, I'm a creative director of the mall's back as much as you. And both of them definitely not Ponzi schemes. To be clear. Please, please do a video where you're counting in Dad's Mollard. Please. But you can blur his back to protect his anonymity.

Imagine he doesn't have a single morning's back and you've done this. Definitely he's got more. No, we get it. He's got them. We get it. You're like he's definitely got them. I've seen them. I've seen them every year with my own eyes, so I know he's got them.

And some of them are blood blisters, so I know, actually. Why did dads have those weird little blood blisters? Do you know what I mean? They're like little red moulds. On the viny white hands. Mr Burns, basically. This is terrible. That's going to be new one, do you?

That's going to be me, Anna. Al, I was just a great plug for the podcast festival. That was a fantastic video. I don't even know who is on. You do. I do. You're Alice and James is, you're uncannies. You've got me and Greg doing a show for bad chat.

You've got Elizabeth Day. You've got all the big names. All the big ones. Great. It's dead good. You should come do it. But you won't, but you should. We don't do too much together.

That's the only thing. That is a lie. We hate each other. Unless we hate each other. We do this together. We don't do any extra stuff. We don't do any extra stuff. We can only keep it up for one day.

We're going to separate hotel rooms. Come on, guys. Actually, quite, nice though when you've been married that long to go to a different hotel room just chill oh no we have kids at home

so we don't sleep in the same bed at home yeah it's actually in a hotel's the only time we're actually really yeah yeah I like when I'm when Bella was ill recently I went into the spare room

had the night of my life yeah yeah don't need to know about that I'm not in that way it's like a teenage boy over again I have the night in my life four times

wield a big telly in it's like a telly at school like a brown one wheeled it in Grondig. School telly. Brown School telly. Those were the dace.

Rattle. I got wheeled in. My mate Paul Turner have one of those watches. Sordid my mate. I was just about to tell that exact story. You had a watch that you could program to turn the telly off.

If you knew it was a Grundig, he could be like 0, 4, 8. And you could turn it up and down, whatever. Yeah, my friend had the same thing in science. He kept turning it off. Yeah. Because also those old tellies

used to turn it off and it would go, Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did it. Nobody at my school had that. Oh, it was really good. Cassio, a calculator watch and a big red button on the side for doing the telly.

Sick, what a life. If we hadn't lost them with you've been framed, we've definitely asked them with wheel the telly in and the remote control wall. I think your listeners will love Grundig chat. You know how important 15 to 25 is and you've just lost them.

Guys, if you've enjoyed this episode, you pick up that needle, you put it right back to the edge and you listen to this LP again. Thank you for coming on. Thank you. Thanks, guys. guys thank you thank you

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