Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Please Keep Me Anonymous With Joanne Mcnally

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

Guess who’s popping in for a natter? None other than Joanne McNally! Chris and Rosie get together with Ireland’s comedy queen for a riot of an episode! They discuss everything from what they would do in a Zombie Apocalypse, thoughts on Zodiac signs and why eating your own faeces might be the new trend! All of this plus Joanne reads one of your filthy stories! Joanne is currently on tour with her show Pinotphile and you can get tickets here: joannemcnally.com Joanne's podcast 'My Therapist Ghosted Me' which she hosts with Vogue Williams is available wherever you get your podcasts! Send your weird and wonderful stories to [e-mail] Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello and welcome to Please Keep Me Anonymous, which is a little branch off of our podcast, Shagmardinoyd. Cards on the table, I'm still a little bit half cut, meaning a little tiny bit drunk. We just had the fantastic Joanne... See? Joanne McNeillian. We had Joanne McNally on.

She was so fun. Oh, so funny. Wow. I've been a fan of Joanne for a while. I had tickets for her too, I had a bloody was working so we could make it. Cards on the table, I might as well have not been here. There's one point, I don't know if we'll leave it in, there was one point where I was trying to chat

and I was trying to talk you both and it was like I thought I was a ghost I thought it was an actual ghost and I didn't use it. We're gonna do it without you. Yeah, 100%. I could have fucked off off with you. You know like that episode of Friends when Ross is in a threesome but he goes and makes a sandwich.

I felt like that. Anyway, she's got a tour which does not need us to promote at all because she's ad and date, slept for incentive. It's hugely sold out. Pinofile it's called. Pinofile as in the wine. Very good.

She's got her own podcast, which we will not promote because there's only one podcast and it is this one. But it was a good chat. It was great chat. I think he's really going to enjoy it. Enjoy. We had a fight about the jingle. Jingle-Ding-Gong.

We couldn't settle on a jingle. Jing-Gong. So this is the jingle. Jing-go. We hope you like the jingle. Jing-go. Bab-do-bab-do-bab-doo-Bah. Jingle!

Hello, you're listening to Shadmounder. Please keep me anonymous with me Rosie Ramsey and my husband, Christopher Ramsey. Hello and we are joined in this episode. Please get me known as by the fantastically funniest Joanne McNally, everyone. Hello. Hello. Hi, thanks for coming. Not at all. Thanks for having me. You are so welcome. We've been really, really excited to talk to you.

So have I been excited to talk to you guys. Have you actually? Yeah. I was listening to a louder than the other day. They're very funny. Oh, thanks very much. I'm a ghosted fan as well. Are you? Yes. Do you know who you had on recently and I'm a huge fan? Phil Ellis.

Oh yeah. I saw his show in South Out Theatre where I don't want to give it away. Can I give it away? Is it his new one or was it an old one? I think it was an old one. It's when he walks in with the with the suitcases. Right, that's Chris's like favorite show ever. That's right.

This is so funny. I only saw it last year or something. Did he? Yeah. I think he returied it. He did. When he walks in and he says, he puts them down and it's the best, in my opinion, it's the best opening joke I've ever seen.

It's really funny. He puts his suitcases down and he says, sorry, this isn't part of the show I just don't trust the people at the hostel fucking best don't enjoy. We saw them do funds and games in Edinburgh I don't know what that is. It's a kid's show but the kids are not in on the jokes

like it's a kid show for adults but the kids are involved but they're not in it. It's fantastic. Really? It's absolutely fantastic. I don't like kids comedy. No, is there any such thing as kids comedy? Yeah, there is it's awful.

What do you mean? Yeah, so a lot, so I don't want to, I'm not. I know. A lot of comics. Just be careful because Chris once said something derogatory about soft plays on the one show and got trolled. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Soft plays.

The places where you put your kids with the balls and all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What did you say? I was on the one show. I was presented. They were not soft. They were not soft. Wow. It was hard play.

I said on the one show, I mean, it was during COVID, so everyone was fucking on another planet anyway. But I said, oh, just an offhand comment about when you come out with soft play and your socks are all dirty off it. The shit I got on Twitter. What? I run a soft play in the floor. are sparkling clean. The soft play

industry's already struggling because of COVID and you put a nail in the coffin. I just didn't plan. It's weird with stuff like that. It's just like no it and it just goes away. I had one of those issues and I'm nervous to say because I'm going to feel like I'm going to drag it up again. I was

once going, I got on the wrong side of the pharmacists. Oh, okay. Which I would say I would say are a big farmer. Big farmer. Big farmer. More like the local pharmacists. Okay, okay. The individually led canists.

Small ones. Right. We're very powerful people. And I would say a little more powerful than the softball community. Yeah. And I was standing in waiting for my match. Do you ever have the one that was here like, what the fuck are they doing? Oh yeah.

Are they cooking it up back there? Yeah, yeah. Why is it taking so long? Where they sit in the little window? I don't know what you mean. And I was, and I'm sorry and I don't want to drag it up again. And I apologize. And I apologize at the time.

And I'm saying this into the mic with my eyes to make. I know I'm wrong. So don't. Don't come at me again. I'm sorry. Do you know what? Actually, I've got to... Not that I'm trying to stick up for pharmacists because I think you're really valid in what you say. No, no, no, I'm not. No, no, I'm not valid. Rosie's not valid.

I was ill-informed. Just because I never realised, maybe I'm going to get shit now, right? I never realised that they actually can do more than just give out the tablets. Until I had kids, right? And if your child's got like an ear infection on a Saturday morning, you go at the pharmacy and they do it. So actually I was like... God's sent.

or they've got power. I take it all back. Yeah, they can check you in that now. They can check your ears, your nose and check your kids and stuff. It's really... I don't have kids, but I'll go in myself for an ear check just to see if what you're saying is correct.

This is you think, yeah, no go. Here she is. Here she is. With my face. Shut their eyes. Shut your eyes. Don't even look at you. She's come crawling back.

Let her die on the floor. She will give this woman no pain relief. Listen, speak to pain relief. He's got up. He's got up. Would you like a wine? Oh! Really?

Do you want a glass of wine? Oh, do you have a glass? I'm having a glass of wine. Oh, great! You're at two end. Dried and I came now. You're doing that in a minute. Pinofile.

Love that name by the way. It's so funny. Pinofile. Pino file. For clarity. You're currently on tour. You're on until March next year. Did you add a bit then?

March. That's a long tour. So, well, I'm finished. I added some Apollos and a Glasgow date. So the UK tour now goes on until next March. And then I'm going to Australia. So it'll be next. And then I'll come back.

then I think I'll do America next autumn so it'll take me through. Thank you but like it'll take me through to next Christmas. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. This is a delightful edition. Cheers, guys. Oh, lovely. God, I love wine. I love wine so much.

Well, as soon as we were like, our team were like, Joanne's coming in. Would you all just fancy like a little midday wine with her? What's your favorite? What's your favorite? Oh, Pinot. Pino. Pino. Pinot grizzio. Yeah, I can't bear shardner.

I think it tastes like, like, what, like kind of, um, hot hair. burnt butter yeah yeah buttery and just like I love it but I've got a theory

what like we might fall out here how do you feel about Sauvony and Blanc varied smells like sweat hate it get it in bit

yeah so I will say and like I would drink toilet duck okay so I'm not trying to suggest I'm any sort of Somaliate

like I there's you know I hear I am now acting like I know anything but

the Taviny Pino to me is like they say penos for someone with no palate it's like kids drink, do you know what I mean?

It's my favourite. Yeah, same. We just have a really underdeveloped juvenile palace. Maybe, yeah. Yeah, I can drink a lot of stuff, but... Oh, I can drink anything. Yeah.

I've got a little bit... I went out to a bar though on Saturday in the wine. I've seen it in the fridge and I was like, I'm going to have a bad night. But one... Do you put ice in it? Never. Thank you.

Thank you. She's put... She started putting ice in her wine around the house and I'm really upset about it. I've really started. And a lot, you know, I put like three cubes in. Anything that would dilute the anger. I'm not a fan of. I want to feel the burn.

And it's hard to feel the burn off, you know, because it is quite like, I'd never put ice in, out. What about a rose A in the summer? No. Just keep this. So I'm like,

it has to be really cold. Has to be freezing. But I did, I probably tell the story on a podcast before, but Nick Mahamad was on the taskmaster that I was on. Yeah.

And we had to bring in, one of the tasks was, something Greg can get into, right? So obviously, I bought it, because I'm very literal in how I think. Yeah.

So I bought a sleeping bag in, covered in Toot and Cammeon. because I thought I like I like pyramids Nick's thing was Nick's thing was a photo of a glass

of a glass of wine with an ice cube in it and everyone's like and you know do you know Nick yes he is the funniest sweetest thing alive right and we were like

what's that and Nick was like did you know he said to Greg that you can put ice in wine Greg's like are you taking the piss

someone had only shown Nick the previous week. He didn't know. Stop it. I was like, what, did you think there was a law against putting ice and wine?

He didn't know you could do that was what his argument was. Do whatever you mean? And I was like, are you, do you know when you're like, is he take? Is he being,

I couldn't, but he was being dead serious. Like, I just didn't know that was a thing. I love, I love that taskmaster unfolds that in people. Yeah.

Like, do you know what I mean? You really get to know people. You do. The deep sort of inside of them. Yeah. There's a strange. Innocence to Nick. Not strange.

Just an innocence to him. I think he seems really sweet. The first time I saw Nick Mohamed, the first time I met him, Ed Gamble, I did a thing in Edinburgh called The Comedy Zone when I first started and it was like a package show

for new comedians. So it was in Edinburgh. It was me and Ed Gamble, some of the comedians. A little bit of Ed. And Ed took me, he was like, my friend Nick Mahmers doing this show

and I went and watched Nick Mohamed. And he's... It's the bird, magician thing. No, no, no. That's Mr. Swallow. It wasn't Mr. Swallow. He was playing, he was playing a character.

He was playing the third guy who went to the moon. Oh, you've told me about this. And, Neil Armstrong. And God bless him, I still don't with the third guy's name.

And the whole thing was I'm the third guy and it was this, and I remember, I laughed so much and I remember sitting there going, what's the fucking point in what I do?

Yeah. I just to tell jokes and tell stupid stories and this guy's done it and he was so lovely and humble when I met him off and he's just the loveliest

guy and I'm so happy he's done so well with Ted Lass or whatever he's flying and yeah, isn't he a traitor's name as well? Yes.

He was the third guy who went to the moon. That was the show. It was fantastic. I'm like you Chris, when I see people doing stuff like outside the box kind of stuff I'm like this, I'm pathetic I'm a cheetah. I'm a white trick

out my dick jokes and my wine Hey hey hey hey hey do you wrangle out dick jokes as well We got a crossover Three or four I have a four Dick joke limit on any show I think after that it gets a bit self-indulgent But when you see people like Nick

You're like oh I disagree I disagree I disagree you say stuff like this all the time about like how it Like, like, what's it called? Like, avant-garde comedy. And I'm like, yeah, but that's not,

that's not what the mass public enjoy. Yeah, but we're, yeah, so I think it, from a number's perspective, you know, like. All right, what do you want to be? Do you want to be valued in the comedy world? Do you want to be well off? I want to be mainstream as fuck. There you go.

And actually, listen, listen to this. I love that. Because I'm mainstream. I am. That's all I am. I'm a basic bitch. This podcast is called shagged, married, annoyed. And I'm proud of that.

while I was pouring the wine, I heard you say very flippantly the sentence, I've added a few Apollos. Yes. Which means you're a big selling act. Like the Apollo is grown up watching Jack Lee Laugh at the Apollo. The Apollo is the Apollo. I'm doing the Apollo on my tour. I'm doing what Apollo. You've added

a few Appalo. Mate. Congratulations. That's fantastic. The women, when they come, they come. Fantastic. We love it. Thank you. We love that. It's a night out. It's a day out. And do you know what I did? I did in because it's funny, like when your audience grow with you. Like I've realised now

like when I did my first tour we were all just pissed and like there was they were leaving Zara jackets behind with vomit in the pockets and now they're tagging me in videos earlier again where will I store my HRT like we've all we're all growing up together

but when you and I also think I don't look I don't know like I'm a big fan of sweeping statements with no fact checking at all when the women when the women get behind you they really get behind you and I also think there isn't a huge amount of female comics in the world.

There's always going to be more lads. So they don't have as much choice, thank God. But I think women are fucking hilarious. Stop for now. Like, I just love being around my friends. Some of my best friends are the funniest people. Gender aside, they just happen to be women. Yeah.

Are the funniest people I know. Same. Same. Like when I'm not like, because I think because I get to do a job that I love and I get to talk shit and make jokes on stage, when I got off stage when I'm out when I'm out with my friends

I'm like I'm mute I don't say anything I just let them So are your friends friends who aren't in the industry Yes We're the same Yeah

I both I have industry friends But I also let them Take the I like to relax Into my day and time But I have a lot of friends Still from when I was You're an introverted extrovert

Yeah That's what I am as well I think so Yeah Because then everyone thinks Because we do this That on and I out You're going to be like

Mary and wild And I'm not But you're just You know what? I was before I had somewhere to channel it. I was. Yes. Yeah.

Yes. I was. It's all making sense. Yes. But now I'm perfectly happy to sit. It's fulfilled. My nickname was Machete McNally because I used to take kitchen knives at house parties to make people listen to me and like wave them in their faces. Yeah.

To get them to listen to me. Sorry. Yeah. So you were talking in a house party and you're in the kitchen. If someone wasn't listening, I'd take out a knife and like a glass. Excuse me. Yeah. Or spatula.

Anything like that. No. They'd be like, put the knife down. Machete McNally. No one was ever under... Imagine doing that so many times that it becomes a nickname. Yeah, Machete McNaughty.

I'd say, do you know what? I think it was usually kind of soft, maybe a spatula or a whisk, and then I think one time I whipped out a very sharp knife and they're like, okay, no. They took you seriously. Yeah, they listened to them. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, ba.

Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. We were talking about this the other day. If you ever found yourself in a scenario, of a zombie apocalypse. Oh, love. Would you want to survive or would you die? Would surviving mean

that I'm a zombie or would surviving mean I'm 28 days later on the run? On the run? Oh, I'd go on the run, yeah. Would you? But I wouldn't survive. I know that about myself.

I've thought about it. Okay, I would kill myself the minute of finance. Would you? On the radio, if they said, they're at the door, I'd literally... Sorry, the zombies

presenting this radio show. Holy fuck, they got Greg James, they got him. Are you saying, so is the option that you're living as a fugitive then? Like, can I just clarify? Yeah, what are the, what's the, what are the... So, you know when you watch Walking Dead or you watch any of these zombie things and their fucking life's miserable and the people are trying to kill them,

the zombies are trying to kill them, they're hiding in a fucking hole. And you go, what are you? This isn't going to come back. Fucking Westfield's not going to go home again. You're not going to go shopping again. Would you persevere is the question. I would. Or would you just fucking gain?

Because Rosie would literally offer. herself to the zombies. All about it. And I'd tell my kids as well at the time. Yeah. No, I know.

And I can totally understand why you would do that and say that. I would kill us all. Yeah. But don't kill me. If I just happen to me in your earth. If you want to survive.

No, then I want to give it a go. Would you try and get us to help us? To kill you. No, would you be like, no, come with us. Come on.

Yeah, but I might be talking about. But not now because I know you're weak. When society falls, when society falls, the pharmacist will come straight for you. As soon as society falls, As soon as the police are gone. Come on, give us a salpidine.

They'll be like, no. No, listen, maybe right. Now I know you told us back, so no, I wouldn't. No, that's the thing. Once I'm in it, I would do it. It's like, I'm not competitive. Are you competitive? Depends.

See, if I'm good at it, I'll do, I'll be competitive and I'll want to win. But if I'm shit, I'll be like, no, right guys, no, fuck this. I totally know what you're saying. And I do feel like in a zombie apocalypse, I would very much be a supporting actor rather than a main lead character. No, I wouldn't be at the front.

No, I wouldn't be. but I'd probably give it a go because what else is there? At least in the zombie apocalypse you can take someone's eyes watch reruns of loose women you know. There's no electricity

Why not? Because it's gone. No, that's just that's worst case scenario. The zombie don't... That's just to add there could be electricity. This negative attitude

isn't going to help us keep her alive. She's gone, man. It's just being you now. She's gone and I'm telling you right now unless there's a generator, there's a generator to watch new swimming, right? But that better be saved somewhere And as soon as you turn that generator on, the zombies are coming.

Why does the electricity automatically go, though? Because, so do you think... It doesn't just come out the ground like fucking grass. There's people maintaining electricity plants and power plants that pump electricity through. Oh, yeah. Got it. You thought it just came out like wind?

Yeah, the grass. He'll go for a while, though. Is there some lad like churn and some lad like... A few lads. And honestly, cause controversially, yeah, a few lasses as well. I kind of fancy electricians. All right, okay. I've always had a thing for them.

Yeah. Any trade, snicker pants, anything like that. Yeah, I think it's attractive when a man can do stuff. So do I, yeah. You know what I mean? Rather than,

I've never gone for like intelligent men. No. That's clear. I wasn't going to say it, but that was what I was going to say. That was a rollercoaster of emotions because she said it's attractive when a man can do stuff

and I kind of looked at the camera thinking, I can't really do anything. And then she hits with I never go for intelligent men. I got double fucked up there. No, you're funny though. was your thing. Funny wins every time.

I've been laughing to bed by gargoyles. I swear to God. That is an autobiography title. Copyright that. Laft into bed by gargoyles. Holy ferole. Holy ferole. Oh my god.

I love that. Funny always wins. Every woman I know it's the same. It's the same. It's always. It's always. I think women are very much drawn to personality. Yes.

He hasn't noticed a thing. I saw a clip of of a podcast recently and it was Jimmy Carr talking to someone else. It just popped up on my Instagram and I've never thought about this in my life but he said that men on a one night stand lower their standards. Did you say this? And women raise their standards on a one night stand.

Is that true? Yeah. I don't know because men are such a, they're such fascinating little ferrets that I don't know what goes through your head when you're trying to get a one night stand. I feel like men would just ride anything. Yeah.

So, they'll lower their standards. Yeah. But it's said that women raise their standards for a one night stand. I haven't had a one night stand for a long time.

Oh, no, I don't. Have you not? It's a couple. It's been a while. I have, I can tell this right now.

When I was single, I was just constantly looking for love. Sorry. Sorry, but that was this terrible part to interrupt you there. What fuck was that? I am opening my dog.

It's two ADHD women trying to have a conversation. That's what this is. That's what I try to interrupt you both of forehand, I tried to interrupt you above the forehand to put a joke in it and it was like trying to cross a six lane motorway. Yeah, just shut up then. I'm going to. Just shut up. No, go on.

Sorry, go on. You're saying you're looking for love. No, I just always... Yeah, but the spirits just spoke to you, what was that? Because I suddenly realised what Jimmy's saying and it's exactly what you're saying as well. It's like, I think the casual sex scene is very much veered towards male enjoyment. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.

Like, you know, unless you, like, it's very... How many women are having, like, swinging from the rafters on a one-night stand? No. I don't. I don't know him. I just want to cuddle. Exactly. So we go for, we're looking for something else. So there's no point to us riding an ugly lad. We're like, we're not getting anything out of it.

Yeah, that is, that is true. Yeah, because you're not, you're not just wanting sex. You're just like, oh my gosh, you're attractive and you're lovely and we could get married. You just want to ejaculate into a jar that has hands and eyes. A warm, nice jar. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That is my first thought every morning. Yeah.

Where's my jar? job job how many one night stand to be odd how many one night stand to be I don't fucking count that high

nah cool yeah I mean why is this the only time you two fuck has it being quiet I'm like

oh he's opening up get more wine into him there no yeah one night stands just find them awkward find them weird

glad I don't have to do it anymore we often say this we like if we were single again we'd both be

devastated obviously not not like missing each of devastated. Like, what the fuck do you do? Oh, getting back out there. But I feel like couples who divorce, how long are you married? 11 years. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. Okay. You're kind of, you're kind of in it now. So we were just, we did the podcast yesterday. Yeah. And I have fully sort of like, I'm, I'm in it now. You're in the marriage. Yeah. Imagine that.

It's cool 11 years. Imagine that. She's like, I think this is going to last. No, I'm just, I'm just like, 11 years. I'm going to stop riding other people. Yeah. 11 years. Took a coat off. Going to give this a gal. I'll stay. Yeah, my shoes are full. I'm stopping. No, it's just like,

I'm a very, I'm quite flightily. I've always been really flightly me entire life. And this is the first time that I've actually stayed in one place for like a long time. And I'm,

and I just don't know, we've been through loads together. We have. And I just genuinely now, I'm gonna get really gush. I see you as my life partner. Now, I love that.

I do. I do. It took a while, but now I think we've been through so much. The kids are getting older. Yeah. And I actually enjoy

spending time with you and now I'm like right when the kids are older like we could go on a yacht and I think we'd have a nice time because I'm not paying for them because I'm not fuddance to go on a yacht anyway that's just what's my thoughts

yeah I know yeah it's just it's a while I think it's and like I'm not in a relationship with them own but I am kind of fascinated by long term marriage as monogamy relationships all that jazz I love it I'm not huge believer in monogamy to be honest with you

I am and I'm not it's weird Rosie regularly says around the house marriage is a crock of shit. But it is. It's really tiring. It's really stressful. It's a lot. It is a lot.

I don't know. I've never been married. But I look at my friends. I'm like, that is there's a lot of resilience required there. There's a lot of compromise, et cetera.

Yes. Compromise. You've got to, and never knew how to compromise. You have to compromise when you're married. You have to be like, oh, you have to have things as well. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, oh, you have to have an opinion in this. Yeah. Because I've just been staunchly independent my whole life And then you have to open up your life to somebody And sometimes agree with them And it's quite

And it's very difficult to be on your round for a length of time Like I was on, I was single for one And I went out with the guy for a couple years And it took me I was like, oh God, you're here again Do you know and you're like, warning? That's when you know that you don't want to be. I think if you meet someone and you want to be with them all the time

Yeah Yeah Yeah Are you actively dating right now? No? Yeah, I mean I'm looking around I shouldn't really be, I'm not in the mood. Okay.

You're busy. Hey, I'm busy. You're busy. You're very busy. Alison to the recent podcast and apologies if it's not that recent. I think I might have went back to you. But you were saying to Vogue that you were going on a date on the 9th of December. December, December 90th.

And Vogue was like, what the fuck? Yeah. Well, so you can use, and I am busy because I'm on tour at them. You have a date booked for the 9th of December. As we record this now, it's the 4th of November. Yeah. And it was two weeks ago. did the podcast.

So you have a date book eight weeks out? Yes. I'm going back to Ireland for November for work and then I know but I was like I want to I do this thing that I'm like

gotta get back in the game got to get back in the horse die alone spinster vibes and then sometimes I love it and then you have these kind of existential sweat at 3 a.m. I was like fuck this download the apps

I was like just put in a shift get a date bounce back off so that's what I did and I said look I'm not around until December on it. Does that work for you?

He's going to do it, isn't he? Yeah. You're not got like a secret man in Ireland? No, I fucking wish. What the fuck. I know.

I'll get back in the head. It's a headspace thing. I'll get back in the game. I will. But you have to kind of, it's so weird. And I don't know if I'm like perimenopause or something.

I'm just not arst at the moment. I think you, you have that thing where your light goes on and then your light goes off. And sometimes my light's on and then like it's lock up your lads. And then other times my light just goes off.

Do you know what? You're going to meet. you're going to meet them when you're going to meet them when you don't expect it at all what's your star sign? Oh, fucking Christ Torres. Oh.

One of my greatest regrets in life is that I don't buy into astrology. Can I just say? I know because you're going to start. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm immediately going to backtrack on what I said because this is the first time I properly met you and spoke to you and you said, what's your star sign? And I was like, oh, that's fucking bullshit.

And then you were like, fucking bull. I was like, okay, yeah, that makes perfect sense. Torians were still in a barricum. You were either the bull, you were either going to be the bull or the fucking whirlwind.

It's not a water sign. Yeah, I don't know what that means, but when you said bull, I went, there might be something to this. So, right, so my sister's bang into it, right? And I never really, like, I didn't live my life by it or anything like that. But then when my sister explains it

and then you have a friend or me mom's like a water sign, you go, oh yeah. Yeah, yeah. Very wishy-washy, very like, can sometimes get what, but there is also really, we talk about in the podcast,

there's also really amazing like parts to every star sign. But then you meet people and you go, yeah. So soon as you said tourists, I was like, yeah. I'd love to believe. Like one of my mates is a homeophe,

homeopath, homeopathy. Homeopath. Good friend, is it? Close friend. Close friend. What is he a too? Well, it's a hobby. Homeopat.

Homeopathy. She does homeopathy, but she's a homeopathy. It's not the homeopathy. No, it's the remedy thing. So she's quite witchy, she's quite witty. And I'm like... Like, Rick, no, what is it?

No, it's these little sugar balls of stuff. Like, it's kind... Look, again, I have to be respectful because she's really into it. But you could be like, I've got a brain chamber and she'd be like, I've got a remedy for that. And she'll give you a little sugar ball. And you're like, do you know what?

I think they're going to get the... My sister used to be a reflexologist. And I was always a bit like, what the fuck says? What is that? It's your feet. I'll be honest with you, when she did my feet, liver or whatever. And you can feel it.

But she tells you after. She doesn't tell you beforehand, you'll feel this on your liver. She does this and I go, what was that? She goes, I go, I don't feel that. She's very interesting. But I can, but that I can completely get behind. That's gas.

Is she just like, wiggle the womb on the foot? She's like, she's such a deep person. She's nothing like me. Like, I will literally tell you my deepest dog with secrets. Did I meet you? Yeah. Like, I love that. Like, yeah.

But my sister is like, and I wish I was like that. Like, she can just keep things in and she's just like, And she's like reserved and then she'll just sort of like But she sees dead people as well so it's all Does she actually? Yeah for real Yeah I don't know if I believe in that either

Well I didn't until it was my sister And I've lived with my sister my entire life I would hate to see dead people No I would love it She crack Oh come on There's nothing would make me Nothing would make me happier

Oh go on She's like Janice go home Oh we've had a glass of wine Or few glasses of wine And we'll stay in like an old house No but she'll be sat there and she'll go You know what you did? You know what you did?

You know when Rosie was opening a heart and you went, that's what you does? And me mom's like, pocket it, I'm going home. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babo, do. When the weather cools down, Golden Nugget Online Casino turns up the heat. This winter, make any moment golden and play thousands of games like her new slot, Wolf It Up and all the fan-favorid Huff and Puff games. Whether you're curled up on the couch or ticking five between snow shop,

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19 and over. Physically President Ontario. Eligibility restrictions apply. See golden nugget casino.com for details. Please play responsibly. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, ba. Do you know, did you ever watch Long Island Medium? Was that with Tyler the American guy?

No, there was a woman who did it, Long Island Medium. I'm pretty sure she's in prison now. That's not factually correct. But she was, she did these, she had a TV show. Okay. It's always, they're like magic tricks really Now this is taking your sister outside of it because I don't know maybe she can't see dead people

It's cold reading this. My sister doesn't like take money for her or anything She's just very much My thing is always like If you can tell the future and see dead people You're not going to be operating out of fucking shopping centre You're going to be up in the white house or something You know what I mean?

Tell your sister said that. I will, I'll tell her. I'll find that as bollocks. Long Island medium is very funny Like she's going to shopping centres and she just grabs someone and be like Your granny says move on where I like, yeah, your father says the

keys are, and they're just, but anyway, it turns out, of course, it's all. It's a little bollock. Irish lady did that a me years ago when I was younger. She'd grab my mum, she went, you're going to have twins in the street. Are you serious? I swear to God. Are you a twin? No, it never happened.

But I remember when I was a kid. She was literally just on the street from me on. You're going to have twins. Where is she from? What specific part of my name of you? Yeah, it's just a kind of a broad Irish accent. I got that. Mid-r-rish.

I knew you would do her accent. I can't hell of it. But there's certain accents that like I, so your accent, the Liverpoolian accent, I'm a big fan of. But also I feel like you can do my accent. Like some people can do accents and when they do the Irish accent it sounds, I'm like, hold on a second. That sounds like, I don't know.

Sometimes I think it's really over-exaggerated Irish accents and it sounds a little insulting at times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you can do it because we're the same. I think we're saying, yeah. Juan actually said as well that if she was going to live anywhere, she think she'd live in Newcastle. I said it'd be

Newcastle or Scouse if I was English. Your accent's got elements of Scouse accent in it. Do you reckon? Shh. You've got a little

shh. So there's so many Irish in Liverpool because they all come over of back of the day to work. Everyone on Ireland supports Liverpool

I'm on you. Yeah my brother's a massive Liverpool phone. Yeah, yeah. Where did you grow up? Dublin. I've never been.

It's beautiful. It's cool. I've never been You're gonna come on my tour I'm doing I'm doing Victor Street. Are you? Oh lovely yeah.

I've got a night off after Great. That's why I'm coming. Are you going to stay in town? I'm going to stay wherever you tell me to right now. I think you should go to... But this is now, like, because I'm biased. But I'm from the south side of Dublin.

Okay. Out by the sea. What number? What number? What number? What? On the numbers? I thought there were numbers. No, we don't engage in that. Right. Do you mean post codes?

Dublin 12 is... Oh, sorry, no, it's South County Dublin. So we're outside of the numbers. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, very good. Yeah, you're right, though. You're dead right.

Just off UFC, Connem, McGreg. Oh yeah. He's found God now, you know, then he's. He's what? He's found God. You need to find something. God.

God's not hiding that well, is he? They're always finding God. Diddy found God when we did Graham Norton with him. That was fun. That's not told him. Does he usually... Was it?

No, we did. We did we were, we did in it, we did in it. With P. Diddy? Pre baby or, oh yeah, back of the day. No, it was really... A week before the allegations came out. Dude, it was insane.

Oh my God, what? Yeah. We're a bit... Do you not know how we're running history? What do that? We're cursed. So we were Holly and Phil's last ever interview on this morning. No.

Bear in mind we don't live in London and we've only been on this morning like twice. And we did Graham Norton with Will Smith about a week before he heard Chris Rock. Oh my gosh. Oh my God. And I'm the only person to ever be banned for life from Sokery. We're cursed. Why? I can't get into it.

I was a... You're bad luck. I wasn't very media trained at the time. Oh yeah. One of those. It wasn't that bad. It wasn't that bad. I was at the hairdressers when you did that.

I was getting another text and I was like, I don't know what's happened. We'd only just started going out and it was like, your lads on Sokwreem making a twat of himself. No. Speaking of making a twat myself, we've got something for you read. I know this all this wine and all this stuff's really good, but we're just having a night in. I thought we were just chilling.

I know, I don't know. Can we work and read? We have to, yes. I love reading out loud. I haven't done it nowadays. Remember in school you'd be asked on top of the class to read out loud. It's like that thirsty bitch waving her arm to record. I would count, no, no.

When we, I remember we were pride and prejudice at school and I would count down the paragraphs so I would know when I would be and I would pre-read me paragraph and when I had to stand up it was horrible standing up and reading it was horrible Oh you didn't want to do it?

No, I had to pre-read me paragraph so I didn't have to stand up and do it the first time and cover me half the word with my finger and say, You're nervous reader. Stay right. You know, like you know when you go, have a look at this

and someone reads it you literally like this within for fucking ten minutes. Yeah, yeah. But you're taking it in. Sometimes I realize, sometimes I could read half a book and I close it for the evening

and be like, I've fucking no idea. what I read there. I have to read the same sentence. I've stopped reading. I highlight now. I actually highlight. You use a highlight of the books.

And I'll write, like, if something has happened in the book that I need to remember, I'll ride it along the top of the page. Yeah, Fran just got shot in a hotel. Like, I have to write it. Spoiler alert. Franz always getting shot in a hotel. If you know Fran, she's been shot in a hotel. Right, come on then. Hi, Chris and Rousey.

Please keep me anonymous. a fellow veterinary this is the homeopathy end do you know what's so gas as well because I'm not in school anymore and rightly so I it would be inappropriate

if I still turning up they'd be like let it go bitch I do find it I feel like I'm losing my spelling a bit because I don't write like you know the thing

class are always writing yeah yeah yeah anyway that's just an excuse if I completely there's no judgment here we know you can't see when we have And your two winds in.

A fellow veterinary co-worker. Let's call him. Chris told me this story and knowing he's as straight as they come. I just know it will be true. Okay. Chris lived with a much lesser paid colleague who was a veterinary intern.

Long hours, weekends, nights and on call for one of the lowest paid wages in the hospital. Oh, my God. Remember, have you seen the amount who puts on the prosthetic legs on the, is it super vet? No. No.

And he puts like prosthetic legs on animals and all. Oh. It's deadly. Anyway, we'll continue. Nice. One weekend at home and his housemate working. He was, I don't know, when we count, something housemate working. Chris was looking through his chest freezer looking for dinner inspirations.

At the bottom of the freezer, he noticed some sealed cardboard boxes with no labels or hints of what was inside. He decided to open one and have a look. Oh, God. No, it's bits of animals. Inside were. Oh. I'd like some guesses. Oh, guesses.

Bits, bits of animal. Right. No, could it be dead? mice to feed to a snake because it eats frozen mice. It's a great recommendation but this is a full

this is fucking oh it's his ex-wife no bits of it's bits of dog or bits of cat or something it's horrible this is horrible

go on pigeon I feel ill pigeon yes no your eyes oh my god they lit up

that was so cute I will love you as on your I'm telling you. I'm happy now. Will I tell you? Yeah. A self-sealed plastic bag zipped shut

each individually containing a big fat, frozen poop. Exclamation point. In the fucking communal freezer? It's in a sandwich bag. Let's not be germophobes. When the housemate returned, Chris decided to open a conversation with

So, I was looking for food in the freezer and came across. Oh, you found my boxes, the housemate replied. No shock, no lies, just to plain admission, that they were his. File. Turns out he had an arrangement

with a colonically challenged internet customer who'd agreed to buy his poop so that he could replace his gut flora and improve his ever problematic digestive system with the contents from my housemate's seemingly balanced bell. Sorry, so this has got fuck all that he'd be in a vet. He's selling his shit online.

That's what I'm reading. But yeah, they would meet in a service station and the poop will be... Sorry. Sorry. She handed over in exchange for, can you guess how much? Money or? Five of a poo?

No, it's going to be more than that. You've got travel and that. No one's shit in a bag for a fibre. 50 quid. Yes, bang on the money. How do you know that? Listen, now I'd rather not comment. I'll be honest with it.

It was a complete guess. It was a complete guess. And obviously, you know, close as anyone listening who does want poo, it has gone on. It's suspicious. 50 pound of shit? That's actually not too bad. Like some fecal drug deal.

I have so many questions. So do I. Did the customer put the poop directly into his butt or was it treated in some way as a cocktail formulated for him to drink? That was my first question. Really? Tick.

He's ingesting it. He's ingesting it, yeah. For sure. It's like when a woman eats her child's placenta. Sounds pagan, but it's actually really good for your insights. I know. It's just not what, I'm nothing against anyone. I just wasn't at that.

I didn't think about that. I have a lot of friends who got it turned into supplements and, yeah, that kind of jazz. But do you know what? Actually, one of them was saying recently, I wouldn't be bothered at that again. I think it can get swept up in a lot of shit

I was going to say but you know what I mean literally. That's what I'm saying at that point in the time I just wasn't thinking about eating me by something. Yeah, you're getting on with us. It's like I've got shit to do.

I couldn't breastfeed so I was just Yeah that was more concerned. Yeah. But I know I've heard of this fecal people eating around shit Yeah. What do you mean? It's like the new thing.

What? It's like a fucking new thing. I hate everyone. Yeah. It's like it's basically very boogey Botox. From what I know, it's all very woman circle I beat that. That's my understanding. Right.

Fuck me. Like I say Kate Moss is eating around shit if I was to guess, allegedly. It's up there. I love how you just run. You just don't give too shit about anyone. But you know what I mean? It feels very cosmet. Right.

Right. Like salmon sperm injections. That's a light meal. Are you? No, I haven't ever. Taking the best. Oh, I've had a lot. There's a lot of sperm in my face.

They're all laughing at it. Like, I'm surprised there's a, fish left. Yeah. Chris, I'm not wanking them. They're wanking them. They're wanked somewhere else and then put in my face. Also, you're not even, you're not even putting the other in? I'm not engaging with the animals.

Really? You're just, well, that's, if anything, that's disgraceful. That's worse. I know it is, actually, isn't it? How many salmons does it take to get the spurt? Because they're like... I don't know. I don't meet them. No. It's not like we...

There's no arrangement. Wow. She's got a guy. I'm watching a car to the back of a petrol station. Got a guy. A guy does that. A pound of 50 quid for a sperm. are they shown the salmon porn

I don't understand what's happening I know it's so cute we'll never know we'll never know but it's so but that's like legitimate that's actually happening and look I'm not gonna lie

if I thought it would knock a year off me would I eat my own would you eat your own shit probably bad at this this person is literally eating a stranger

I eat cheese strings what could be worse than that honestly what could be worse than that I want of a bad word said about cheese strings really when cheese

Dary don't come. My question is, why do you have all these children things in your fridge when you don't have kids? They're in our fridge because we've got kids now. Because I've the palate of a four-year-old.

Are you foot to eat there? No, I'm not, I could eat the same thing over and over and over again. I could eat waffles and beans. I could eat. Nice. My palate just never, I'm not a foodie at all.

Right. At all. I love eating. Yeah. But like, do you ever push the beans into the holes of the waffles? No, because I put so much butter on them.

they're all floating around. They couldn't stick even if I tried. You butter your waffles. You have a waffle and you butter a bird's eye potato waffle. Of all the cultural differences between Ireland and the UK, I didn't expect to be butter on a waffle. I've never buttered a waffle. Sorry.

What do you do with them? You fucking eat them. Cook them and eat them. How do you make them moist? I don't. My saliva sort of handles that. Oh no. Mine are like, they're basically mashed potatoes.

Yeah. Right. So you butter. It makes sense, though, because I put butter on jack potato. or why wouldn't I put it on a waffle? Two waffles, take them out and then put easy,

easy singles in the middle of them. What's that? Cheese? The plastic cheese. The plastic cheese. And then butter it all and let it swim around and it's down grease.

It makes sense. And a glass of peanut. Oh, nice. Perfect. Perfect. Can I tell you a story that it seems kind of relevant and you can decide

what to do with it if you will? Yeah? Yeah. I, it's going back a long time but there was, how will I tell you? tell this without litigation. A friend of a friend.

Say allegedly. Allegedly. You know what? A friend of a friend was going out with a guy and he was behaving. She thought he was kind of cheating on her and we were chatting about it and then she said I should have known when I found the shield out in the freezer. Shildo. What's his shildo? Should I know what it is? No, I pray that you do not.

Alright, okay. Is it a female dildo? No, it's basically... And I'm only saying this because you brought up poop in the freezer. Come on. Her fella, shot in a con... Shatna con... I can't even say it. Shatna condo.

Shotna condo. And he uses it as a dildo. To himself. Oh, fuck him out. Anyway, it's so nice to meet you guys. This has been... I'd love to come over again. Come back again. Shildas.

And you know what the art is called when you do that? Are we calling it arse? Abstract. He's an artist, darling. Picasso, my love. I think it's called Zuman. What is that?

Yeah, Zuman is when you masturbate. No, Zuman is when you masturbate with a frozen shit delto. No. I did not expect you to clash back my Shildare with something even worse. I know. Well, I just, I missed that step. I didn't know it's called Shildo. Yeah.

Oh, Shilldo! Shit Dildo. You just wait that out. Chris, you need to do better and educate yourself. How, you've nothing to contribute to the shildo-zoming situation. Should I tell you about Feltian?

Come and just, no, can we just, come and we call it a day now. What is it? It's when somebody, a man ejaculates inside of your asshole and then you suck it out with a straw.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's Sunday afternoon. Yeah. God, if I had a penny for every Feltchen, every time I was Feltchen. Flat out, Feltian.

Yeah. It's a hot. Bobby. How's a load of butter on it. Do you have my belly is felt out? Honey, grab the shield out. Shilda was upset me. And let's walk strictly for the evening and just relax.

Shilda was really, really upset me, something rotten. How do they get it in the condom? There's my question. The fellsion now have to say that's kind of... Fucking worst sausage factory ever. Ugh. Putting shit. I can't even describe how bad that would be a day of trying to put my own shit into a condom.

What are you doing? Oh, well, you're not, Chris. Think outside the box now. You're not shitting, you're not trying to get. I know I'm not trying to aim it in. Yeah, but there's going to be a moment where you're opening a condom and you're trying to put your... Is there not a moment where these people are doing this and they think, what have I done with me like? I know.

People love it. People love it. And they're not hurting anyone. You can't even see what's going up your ass. Just use a normal dildo. Why is it going to be a bit of shit? Because it's so dark in their head. They're like, this is gross. Look how gross.

I've said it before and I'll say it again and I believe we should hold hands and really, really try and get it to come. Can I hold hands? you can hold the hand as well I'm going to say it out loud Send the asteroid Oh yeah I know you mean Yeah Send it now

Yeah Let it get me first We yeah We have straight to rousey first She'll be out there Kind of trying to catch it in her face Don't let me live here Because the baddies always survive

That's a thing The baddies all survive And I don't want to live in it Freezing each of that shit At least if there is a zombie apocalypse There'll be no electricity To run the freezers To freeze the shit in Congress

And I think that is I think that's a lesson for us. I think that's where we leave this. I agree. Thank you, Joanne. It's been, you know, hasn't it? Hasn't it? Hasn't it?

Something happened. We don't know how we're going to feel after, but there's been information swapped. I've loved it. And conversations have been out. Honestly, lovely. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you.

I'm half cut. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers.