Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Please Keep Me Anonymous with Joel Dommett

Episode Date: January 21, 2026

Joining Chris and Rosie this week is the brilliant Joel Dommett! The trio bond over Traitors (spoiler alert if you haven't watched the Celeb version!) celebrity doctors and life with two children. Joel discusses his most recent procedure which has him in a fair amount of pain, Brazilian jiu jitsu and his new collaboration with TV's Ben Shepherd! All of this and SO much more! You can watch Joel host The Masked Singer on ITV and catch up on ITVX. You can also find Joel on tour throughout 2026 with his show 'Happy Idiot', find tickets at joeldommett.com  If you want to get involved and have your stories and voice notes included on the podcast then get in touch! 📧: [e-mail] 📱: 07874 406650 Enjoy all these episodes on the Shagged Married Annoyed YouTube channel: ⁠⁠youtube.com/@shagged.married.annoyed Today, get Huel’s full Lite & Lean Starter Kit online with our code SMA30 for 30% off at https://huel.com/SMA30. New Customers Only. Thank you to Huel for partnering and supporting our show! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

At Desjardin Insurance, we know that when you own a nail salon, everything needs to be perfect from tip to toe. That's why our agents go the extra mile to understand your business and provide tailored solutions for all its unique needs. You put your heart into your company, so we put our heart into making sure it's protected. Get insurance that's really big on care. Find an agent today at Dejardin.com slash business coverage. Hello, welcome to the show This is Please Keep Me Anonymous Part of the Shag Maridenoid universe

Just like the MCU But us Bit Ruder, bit realer, less superpowers We are joined this week By one of my best friends in comedy He's one of the good guys He's a fantastic comedian He's a fantastic presenter

It's Joel Domit Oh What a guy He's so canny man I've known him for so long Yeah It's so nice Such a good guy

Mr Saturday Night He's took away your role is Mr. Saturday. Oh no, I was barely. I was the blink of an eye I was Mr. Saturday. Very short time. He's actually hurt himself

and we'll find out why. Yeah, he limped in, limped in, tragic, like a little injured puppy. He is going on tour. It starts in February. You can get your tickets at Joel Domit.com.

It's called Happy Idiot and obviously he's hosting the Masked singer which is back on Saturday nights. And he's also just been announced as one of the new contestants on the next series of Taskmaster. We didn't even talk about it.

And he's already filmed it. We chatted that much and had such a lovely chat we didn't even get a taskmaster. God's sake. Are we just bad at our job? Yeah, it's probably that. A bit of both.

No, all that. It's probably all that. We are bad at with jobs. And so if you are coming on and plug something, just you talk about it. You have to get it in there because we're not going to get there. We will forget. We will forget.

And if you're watching this, please subscribe on YouTube. Oh yeah, click that subscribe. And enjoy because we had a really, really good chat. It's really good to see. I've had a mint day. What a great day. Yeah. Well done.

Love you. Love you. Yeah. Love you guys for listening and watching. Enjoy. We had a fight about the jingle. Jingle, Jingle.

We couldn't settle on a jingle. Jingle-Ding-Gong. So this is the jingle, Jingle, Jingle. We hope you like the jingle. Jingle, bab-do, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo-do-ba-do-ba-du-ba-dha. Jingle! I think it's me.

I think I'm good at getting stuff out with people, you know? Yeah. I do. I think I've got Psychopath traits. I don't. Well, I think you've got, you've both got an enjoyable warmth about you. Oh. That you, you, just, you were easy to chat with.

Trusting. That's why you're great. It's why you're great your jobs. Bless you so much. This is going to be called a job. If you can be called a job. It's not a job is it. I mean, it's weird.

Stealing 11. Unbelievable. But sometimes when you're really, really busy, but you just don't have a normal job, you feel like you can't say. I'm really stressed, I'm really busy. Because when it's not normal. Do you know what I mean?

And the frustrating thing is that it's not frustrating. This is, for example, you go, oh, it's so frustrating. And then you feel like you have to apologise and go, oh, it's not frustrating. Because we're all from a world where this isn't the norm. Yeah. And the only people that you could call to say that you're frustrated is Lou Beckett, Hannah Cooper, all the other ones. Do you know what I mean?

It's like because you can't be frustrated. You're not, it's like you're not allowed to be. annoyed. And in exactly the same way, when I find something's annoying or like frustrated or I feel like I'm going through something that I'm like ah, the only person I could text is Rob Beckett.

Yeah. Who get it? Josh, and Josh, is this weird? You know, it's like, yeah. Yeah. Because I can't go to like my friend who works in a bakery. Yeah. Yeah. I'm glad

that you guys do that because you often You got Carl and Jason Cooke's I'm very looking at Carl and Jason. I'm very, very close friends. You had a last minute chat to Ed Gamble last week because you went on the Traitor spin-off show without actually ever watching the Traitors. I've done that before, but... I was Seathen. I was Seethin.

She nearly got me to pull it. She nearly got me to pull it. Because I just thought you're actually... The arrogance, the sheer arrogance. The problem with that show as well is that the people who watch it fucking love it. And so if you're not going like, oh yeah, you know, Paul did this interesting thing with his hand

when he was like, you know it. You've got to know it. A couple of things. One, I like to live on the edge. Two, those people don't scare me. Yep. And three, we have been, since the moment, you do well in a five-minute open spot

and a promoter goes, do you have 20? and you don't have 20 and you go I can't do 20 minutes and you turn up and you stretch that for life bit of crowd work yeah

100% nice room this in it nice room yeah what's the local shit all like we wing it as a job no you did but you had to watch the first three episodes I had to watch the first three episodes

and we watched them all together and you absolutely loved it and I've been telling you to watch it for months isn't unbelievable it's so good you know how annoying it is because it's so

good and I'm not in it. Oh, no, I don't. Do you know what I mean? It's that thing where like, you're like, oh my God, it's so unbelievable. Especially my Asking My Singers obviously on. And it's like sucking up people to watch traitors. And you can't hate it because it's unbelievable. I know all the people are involved who make it.

And I just love the telly's doing well. So the thing with the traders for me, everyone was telling us to watch a treatise. Rosie was telling us watch a tree of us. But Rosie, I love your death, but you're relative, relative in you. in the telly world. I'm not trying to shit on you here. Oh, I thought you were just going to tell us I've got shit taste.

No, you got brilliant taste. I knew it would be a good show, but you're new in telly. I've seen all of these things being made. I can see behind the curtain. I watch stuff and I go, you know, you watch someone reacting to something. You go, oh, that was fucking film 20 minutes later.

Yeah, okay, I'm a bit naive. Traders cuts through all of that. I know how it's done. I know what they're doing, but it's done so well. It takes all of my TV knowledge out of the way and I'm going, oh my God, it's amazing. And yeah, and I did, I flew by the seat me pants.

I watched the first three episodes and then I got the train down to London, watched the fourth on the train and went and did Traitors Uncloaked. Worst bit was they were talking about episode fucking nine so I had to have five, six and seven explain to us on the fly. Stop it!

Five, six and seven were explained to me on the fly and then I watched episode eight and episode nine. I don't want to give it away, but I know everyone who goes all the way. I know the final six. See, this is the problem right? This problem about our industry. It's like you're the fan of traitors

and then he's gone and done unclothed. And now he knows who's bloody winning it. Oh, I know. There was a part of us that said, like, don't get me wrong. I know Chris has been doing this a lot longer than me. But I was like, I watch the show. Yeah. You've never seen the show yet you've been asked to do it. Worse but it was.

I did get a bit cross. You got cross and you told us not to do it. You said I was going to make an arsehold myself and said it was really arrogant, going and doing it without. But in my defence, you're right. But I did know that I was going to like it. But you know, at one point, Joel, I went, well, you're right. I'm going to.

Why don't you go instead of us? She went, I know. I know. And it was literally like, this is your shit. You dug your own grave. I'm not digging you out of this. Yeah. I was fucking.

I was, that was a, that was a, but I phoned gamble and I said, mate, like pleat and he went, it's fine. He went, just don't barrel in saying, I've never watched it before, which I did anyway. And we had a good time. It was a great show. And I'm now full on, I love it. I love it. We're going to rewatch season.

The celebrity ones. You should rewish as a celebrity one. So I've got them all to watch. The series two. Yeah. That was my favorite one. I'm the person I have. You know, when someone comes up, you and goes, I've just started watching Breaking Bad.

It's really good. And you go, you've got all of that to come. I've got series 1, 2, 3 and the celeb special. Are you all like to come? Should we just like ruin his life right now? Oh, no, no, no, no. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, you shut your goddamn face. Rosie, should we just, hey, should we just like ruin it?

What bit can we tell him? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're related. I'm going to see it before it happens. This is so fun, right, yeah. At some point, at some point during this podcast, episode. We're just going to drop a bomb that's going to absolutely ruin your life. I think we'll just need that clipped up with dual domit. Mr. Saturday night.

You shut your dog, down, face. Honest to God, that was so... There'll be children all over the country who watch a mass singer cry in their eyes off when they say that. It's so nice in the deli. Guys, if you could make me edgy, that'd be fantastic. We'll try our best. You came in here with a gangster limp. What have you done to your leg?

You limped in here. Right, your legs fucked. He's popped two ibis orphans. Yeah. What's the matter? Last week I had my varicca's veins done. You got varicrous veins? I had varicous veins.

I had the V. The V-Vee. Over there. The double V's. Not the double V's. Oh, my God. I got the double V's. And I got it done.

Lovely people got it done. Right. Wonderful. But please don't doubt me it was hashtag gifted. Well, look, this is the problem. Oh, no. He was hashtag gifted. He got varieg.

He got it. It wasn't. Yes. You have changed so much. I haven't. You can afford to get your varicous veins removed. Yeah, but I didn't look, this is the problem with it. I didn't really know it was hashtag gifted.

Right. Until they asked me to hashtag, until they asked me to not pay for it. Right. Okay. Okay. Yeah, okay. And so I didn't. Right.

Okay. And look, it was great. I got it done. The operation was amazing. I think I underestimated how much of a little bitch I am. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am an absolute little bitch. I've done that to myself many a time.

Yeah. I and also, my wife is like six months pregnant. So I'm getting no sympathy from her. Oh, no, of course. You're running around. This is the problem I'm at. Why did you get them done now? Because I just, I just, because they, they asked.

Right. Hang on. So how did they look, see you on the telly and think? Is Vians? I was on, I was on this, I was hosting this morning and I thought, oh, I'll ask the doc, no, you know, usually people have a problem. Yeah, they ask, they go to the hospital. Unless you know a GP. Unless, if you're a host of this morning, you ask the doctor on this morning. I would have 100% do that.

Oh my God, I would have a deal. You would come back from the, if I was off not, you would come back from the ads and I'd be going. So where next? I literally, I'd be cocked out. Like, it would be ridiculous. Come up from the break, doing like you fly. Sorry, hi, welcome back. Sorry, that wasn't me to.

I was just getting them all looked at. Jesus. And I asked Dr. Zoe, and I said, do you know a Varicus Spades place? I got Varicka Spades. And then it just barreled out of control. I went to a place, had a consultation. They were so nice.

And then they were like, come back and January would get it done. And I was like, yeah, amazing. And because I just assumed that it was going to hurt less. than it does. That it does because I thought like you know what it's 2026.

Yeah. It's like They'll just zap them out laser them. We can, you know, we can make AI people or something.

Yeah. Like I've got it done. Operation doesn't hurt at all. Next, all week I've been an awful husband. Awful husband and just for a week

after 11 years. What was he? He's a little bitch all the time. Yeah. Just constant. I love that I picked Little Bitch. Little Bitch is great.

I don't think I've ever used the phrase Little Bitch and I looked you in the eyes when I said it. It was quite nice. Rosie may have sent that to you telepathically. She may have been in her head going, you fucking little bitch. You little bitch. If I looked at Chris, I would have said cunt. Yeah, you little cunt. You little bitch.

Soft cunt. And so basically I have to, at the moment, I'll tell you where I'm at currently. and he's either be lying down or moving. Right, okay, all or nothing. So there's no in between. So how are you feeling now? So right, if I stand up, then it's bad news. Right, okay.

So I'm either walking, fine. So I know I'm doing a lot of walking around the house. Yeah. And then I'll lie down. It's not conducive to parenting. Okay, no, no, not at all. No, no, no. But how did you turn down free varick's vein surgery?

How'd you see them? I can't when someone obviously to be something free or work in general I say yes. This is like

this is like a storyline from fucking Frasier he would get Varagis veins and he wouldn't be able to do his radio show that's literally this is a Frasier storyline it's absolutely

preposterous it's preposterous that you got free Vargas Vizier you've not seen the video as Instagram man it's so funny it's him video to himself

and just as he starts video himself completely unplanned the woman goes you've got really musly leg And he goes, I'm glad I got that on film. I think I've become a really bad person.

This ties in perfectly to it. And on the same day as me getting my VVs done. You VVs, yeah. Yeah, yeah. What is it? I got, I got, I used to bite my fingers. This is a minute.

We both do this. We've talked about this. I pick mine shockingly. When I get anxiety, I just bite my things. I get nervous and I did this right? Yeah, he was trying to sort this out from. Right?

And I thought, I've got to get it solved. I think I've become unrelatable. Yeah. Right. Because the way I got it solved is I called Paul McKenna. The magician. He's... It was Paul McKenna.

Hypnissist. He's not a magician. He did. He didn't. He did. But he did make my bad fingers disappear. Yeah. He did.

He went, he went, look. He went, the thump's gone. The thumb's gone. Stop it. May, he's being hypnotized by Paul McKenna. I am telling you. Do you have... I have not bitten my fingers since I left this hotel room.

So you're not. Paul McKenna, do it visit him. You're famous, but your 90s famous. What the hell? Did you mean him on this morning? No, I interviewed him on a radio two show. Okay, so through work.

Different, different work. Holy shit. I was like, I have to solve this. So, right, I bite the inside of my mouth. And I read somewhere recently that it can cause cancer. Yeah, it does. And I need to stop doing it. Like, my dentist is literally like the inside of your mouth.

Do you want to say it? Which bit, yeah, can I see the inside of your mouth? Oh, interesting. It's gross. Like there, like there. Inside, everywhere. It's horrible. It upsets.

Yeah. So weird, by the way. I mean, I want to say your veins later. Well, or lack of. and I might not have to go to Paul McCanness. Is there other hypnotistic? Do you want to see a picture of my veins that I took out? Yes.

But first of all, can we just log? Can we just log that the fact in the future, if we do break up, it might have been because Joel Domit pimped you out to Paul McKenna's Hotel Room. One day. Yeah. Where did the downfall start?

She spent so much time in Paul McKenna's Hotel room. It was unbelievable. You know, in life, when celebrities and you think you get them all mixed up, right? So you said Paul McKenna, in my brain, I went Paul McKenna, Paul Daniels, Euregala. I saw all three of them. And that's why I said magician.

So I saw all three and I went, I know which one you mean. Paul McKenna, hypnotic. Like anxiety and I bend spoons. Yeah, you're a lot. Speaking of celebrity life, right. You, what is this skincare thing you're doing? Oh, yeah.

Oh, this is wrong Chris's mind, by the way. I can't work out if you're taking the piss. I can't work out if you're taking the piss. We're not taking the piss. Right. But the problem is that people think we're taking the piss. Which is not a good start for any business. No, it's great.

It's great, but it's great, P.R. Do you think this is a great idea? Because everyone's like, what the fuck? It's great. I think it's great. And I think Ben Shepard is you in. Mm-hmm. I don't want to be rude.

10 years time. 10 years. I was going to say more. Yeah. Just because he's been. on tell you for so long. He's, but you're very similar.

I think you're so very similar. And I actually think I'm really happy that you've connected with somebody and you've found, you look like you've found like a really good mate. Tell you what, it's such a lovely thing to hear. And I think that's nice.

Because I, I constantly doubt myself all the time. Like I'm sure we all do. Of course. But like, it's, you know, there's certain decisions that you make that you're like, oh, and even with this business idea

that we've come up with, We basically got together. We were like, we should do something together. It'd be really fun. And we sort of thought, you know, we really loved our skincare regime and our routines and what we do. And I've got, I'm really obsessive. You're similar. You're really loving.

Yeah. And we kept on talking about it for months. And then we were like, should we start a thing? And then we did and we started it. And whether it does well or whether it doesn't do well, for me, I said it would actually yesterday just saying, like, whatever happens in this whole weird journey, I'm just like really glad that I, feel like we've connected. Aw. Because I just genuinely think he's a really good soul.

He's a nice, kind face. Good guy. I like him. He's a lovely man. I've always liked Ben Shabbard. Someone, they just, he works so hard in a job that probably looks like you don't work hard, but he just is so good at it. And when you see him around people, you just go like, oh, this guy, like, he gets it,

you know? Yeah. And he's got fantastic skin and he's 50 and he's, uh, he can be. Do you want the mental health? Oh, you bet you. I bet you. I bet you. I saw him and I was jealous that I have not got a mental health cover.

That's what happened. Yeah. Livid. Yeah. Do you know the only thing that was holding your back? Varick's veins. And you're sore on it. And you've got rid of them.

You've got rid of them. It's going to be fantastic. Perfect fingers, perfect veins. That's what they call me. That's it. That's it. Chris. Alan Carr wins it.

Oh. Did you not know that? No. You know what I see? I knew he did well. Oh, God damn it. I thought it was going to be funnier. And then I did it.

And it just felt so sad. It's upset. It felt so sad that I've done that to you. We got a series if you don't ruin that. Honestly, one of the best series that you can watch. Really? Great. And I'm really sorry.

Would you do it then? Would you do it? Traders? I think so, yeah. What would you want to be? I think, actually, I know everyone says they want to be traitor, but I couldn't. You couldn't be a Trita. I couldn't be a trader.

You're faithful. Yes, you fucking could. I couldn't. Yes, you could. The stress of it, I couldn't. And I would be so, like, it would be, I would give it away immediately. I'd get picked to be a trader and I would go so the other way.

Maybe. Like puppy. He's seen Trainspotting. Yeah, he throws that pank glass over the thing, and over the top. And he goes down, and he goes, no one leaves here until we find out what, can't dead it.

And it was him. That would be me. I'd be like, one of you is a fucking scumb. And they'd be like, him. He's giving away so much. We know it's him. Or I would hide it and I would hide it well but then within four days it would be like oh, why does Chris look

like he's going cold turkey from crack? He's sweating. He's aging. He's going grey. Within four days. The stress would get to us. I'd share too much. Yeah, I feel the same. I feel like I can't... This smile just doesn't hide. But that's why Alan was so good

on it though because he was a traitor but he hated being a trio. You can actually see it was pain. I am. I'm not looking for it. You guys should go on it together. Yeah. That would be good, wouldn't you?

That would be so good. You together going on because in the new series, they're putting lots of people where you know now. You've seen 27 episodes of it. It's, you guys would be fantastic together. And the best bit, they'll go, oh my God,

we know that you guys are married. So that's not the twist, but then we'll reveal that we're actually brother and sister. Oh! Finally, that'll be when we're revealing. That's when we can come out. That'll be when we're revealing. We can't have it on this.

We're going to do it at Prime Time BBC One. The big secret is that Rose is actually having an affair with Greg Davis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It turns out. That's it. Imagine. She would never be able to reach him. It's all the same when you're lying down.

Actually. I've just got to paint the picture. What do you mean? That's the to see me in you, Chris. You're picturing you're lying down, obviously, because you're the husband. I was imagining her literally climbing it. climb it up and like She can't do a fucking pull-up

She's got no chance She's got absolutely no chance Listen I'm trying I'm trying Babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo baboo ba Babadoo babadoo baboo baboo baboo bao Listen, what I want to know is Is there a first of all

Do you know who they are No he doesn't When do you find out who they are So I don't know who they are at all They don't tell me at all. And that makes it more fun. It's actually just really enjoyable just to play the game along with everyone else.

And then sometimes they've revealed. I'm like, oh. And so we actually have a stop of the record. So they go, take it off, take it off, take it off. And then we stop the record just before they're about to take it off. And then they get their makeup done and things like that. Mad. And then we go, take it off, take it off.

And they're like, oh, my God, it's this past it. So you find out then. It's Chris Rubber. The voice is so annoying. My son has become obsessed with Mars Singer. Has he? And it's really cool. So he's two,

almost two and a half. So I've sort of been waiting for this moment. Oh, I love that. Such a good short for kids, though, isn't it? It's so fun. And now he wakes up and goes like, Mars Singer, Mars Singer downstairs now. TV, Mars Singer.

No way. And I was like, this is the best thing ever. Yesterday, we were in a shopping centre and we were walking along and suddenly I feel like it's backfired because now, we're walking along, it was quite busy, holding his hand and he started just shouting, take it off, take it off, take it off, take it off.

And I'm like, shut up, you're embarrassing. That's amazing. So there's two things in that. There's one that he's shouting and take it off, which is horrendous. Take what off. Then the other thing is, Oh, he presents that show. Yeah.

And he makes his kid watching it. And now he's obsessed with it. He's got his kid running, running some kind of PR. Yeah. And kind of gonzo out there, PR. Like a flash mob. Like flash mob shit. It's getting...

Oh my God. Sell his shows that he's on. This is awful. It's cute though. It's nice. It is. What I want to know is, no, no, I want to know this. Is there ever a moment where they take it off?

Mm-hmm. And you don't know who the fuck that celebrity is. One hundred percent. One hundred percent, little bitch. This dress. We, we, we, so I've told this story before, but I, um, first series of this guy who was a politician and everyone was like, take it off, take it off, take it off. And producer says my host, Alan Johnson and I go, oh my God, it's Alan Johnson.

And it's like, in my head, I'm like, who the fuck is this guy? Who's this guy? He looked like a friend of my dad, so I was like, can't be Nigel. And, and, and, and, uh, it's, it's, it's basically, it's really. This series was the Christmas show was really fun. Because, well, so it's the first time in seven series where I've sort of, I've been really good at keeping the secrets. And even if you do know who it is, you might go like, oh, who is this? Oh, you know, to keep all the illusion and all that stuff.

And did you see it? You said who it was before it took the head off. Because you knew you recognised the voice. I don't know what happened on that day. It was just like, they were kissing someone and someone guessed, someone guessed who they thought it was. And I was like, oh, that's interesting. That's an interesting thing.

And I think I said, oh, that's interesting. And then I heard the person laugh inside the costume. And I went, oh my God, it is demo, Larry. What? I've never seen this. They must have left it in, though. Did they leave it in? I think they did leave it in, yeah.

Because it went right, like the clip, it was everything. I saw it online. It's like, I've never seen like a presenter ruin a format. Yeah. Their own format so quickly. Do you know what I mean? It was like,

I've just completely, completely ruined it. It'd be like Bradley Walsh giving out all the answers on the chase. Just. Awful. I'll tell you what it is, love. Yeah,

don't worry, I got this one. I got this one. I got this one. I was mad. Absolutely mad. It is a great show. It was the last time I saw you when we did comic relief together. No, I saw you, we did your show on BBC together with Hannah.

Last time you saw me and Hannah, she was pregnant with one. That was our show. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then maybe it was after that.

Yeah. It'll be comic relief the last time you saw it. Are you finding out with this baby or not? If you know, you don't have to tell us. We know. We know. And we're sort of keeping it secret of people. Yeah, of course.

But I don't really know. So tell me what's the vibe with two. Like what's going to happen? So, oh, God. Oh, God. I'm sorry. I know. If a sort of thing online and there's nothing truer than this,

so one kid is one kid. Two kids is five kids. Right. That's the best way I'm describing it. Right. Why is that? What happens? It's just another person

So it's not doubled In my opinion It doesn't double it It's not times two The two goes little And goes above it And it's like to the power of two Like it's

It's multiplied the tiredness Multiply the stress All the difficulty of having the first kid But there's another Kid there Because what you've got to remember is You're having another kid But the other kids

All their stuff they still do whether they don't sleep properly or whether they, you know, your potty train, whatever, that's still very much there. But you know what it is? It's like the best. This is the thing. Being a parent is the best thing that I've ever done in my entire life. And the worst.

That's the worst. It's so hot. But we're at 10 and 5 now and it's awesome. Like we went to Edinburgh for a couple of nights over Christmas. We have the best time. So good. Like, we were around the castle, museums, we got room service, and it was just awesome. But you're currently at the very, you're at the other stage.

Is it like this, so is it at this point where they're both still really excited by things? And they play, with that age difference, they play with each other. Is it like a... They will. They will. They will. They will. They will play with each other. I wish we'd done it sooner. Right. You're going to have a two-year-old and a brand-new baby, or you're going to have a three-year-old and a brand-new baby.

Yeah, so two-and-a-half year difference, basically. That's perfect, I think. That's going to be absolute fucking carnage apart from they will play together a lot more than us. But then once the youngest one gets to the point where you can reason with them as well,

you're going to have the best little guy. And then when they go to school. The best little gang. Drop them off at school. I just don't know what I did before. Yeah, I know. There's probably a thing with kids is that it's all the cliches.

Yeah. And I'm finding a really, difficult to talk about it on stage because I'm really enjoying it, even though, like you say, it's really difficult and all this different things. It's completely changed my relationship. It's completely changed my life. Yeah. It consumes everything that I do. But I just, the feeling I have about it is, like this, like even talking about it, I just have this insane amount of love and respect for every other parent in the world that suddenly I'm like, oh, I understand. You could never explain it to me.

No, you can explain it until you do it. It's so weird, right? It's like someone who's never watched the traitors before. And then suddenly you get it, man. You get it. Yeah. And I just, I just like, and I find it really hard to talk about it because I don't, I don't, I haven't figured out that thing where I'm like,

oh, that's my, that's my funny route to, to, to, to it. Because right now, all I want to do is just go on stage. but I'm fucking fuck man isn't it fucking fucking fuck shit that's it that's it that's a nice angle I've never heard the angle yeah never heard the angle

like what the fuck what the hook? Matt do you want any more after this one are you two and done? Yeah yeah we don't know I mean it is that weird thing now we're talking about three

and I said what after one I was like no done one why is the problem with one Why does everyone have problem with one? What is that thing? People did it because they want to have like someone else for the baby to play with. It's not a thing anymore. We've got loads of things to play with. Yeah.

You know, if we understand child psychology more, one's fine. And then they're like, I want another. I think it's more for you. I think selfishly, I want another baby because I was like, I want to do this. That's the thing. As exhausting as it was. As painful as it was, as awful as being pregnant was, I was like, I want another one of them.

I want to copy that. The thing is when the next baby comes you're going to have moments where you're so stressed and so much is going on and you're literally, you and Hannah are going to look at each other and go,

fucking no way. We have another one. You're fucking no chance. And then there's going to be moments where you go, we have another one. We just recently had a lot of moments like that. No, no, no.

You have them independently. That's what's really lucky. So she'll go, imagine another one. And I'll go, I will, I will throw your body in the sea. I'm not scared And then that rule reverses

Sometimes I go Actually three's good And she's like Don't you fucking look at me You still haven't got a vasectomy So there's part of me that's like Are you Honestly

After I've had me Varagos veins done I'll get the vasectomy Yeah yeah yeah Let's deal with those veins first And then that vein's got to be done I cannot have drooled on And have better veins than me

Babadoo Babadoo Babadoo Babadoo Babadoo Babadoo Babadoo Babadoo Babadoo How are you on a Pian level Out of 10 I feel actually I'll be honest, I've overdosed on neurofence so I'm flying. You're flying. Okay, good.

Oh, that's good. Fly it. 12. Might be the best I've ever been. Just let me know if I'll read this too quick. He's good. Tell us a term. I like the idea that he tells the story

and we go, well, we'll laugh and have a lovely time and then afterwards the producers go, that's not what was written on that. He just made. He fucking made that up. He's off his nose. By the way, Hannah's a really patient lady because if you got your variegous veins done

while we had a two-year-old and six months pregnant, I would have hit the roof. To be fair, yeah, I've been awful. Yeah, I've been awful. Do you know that? When we had our second child, he was 10 days old and I broke my ankle

running around a field with a dog. Remember this? I remember this. I couldn't help in any way, she'd perform around the house. I had a sea section as well. She had a sea section. She couldn't move,

and I broke my ankle, and it was locked down. And it was locked down. I remember bubbles? I'm by bubbles. Lockdowns. Oh, that is so much happening all at once. Yeah, yeah.

That was a real bad town. So I used to walk around my house with crutches with a big blue IKEA bag around me neck and put stuff in and then, yeah. Actually, in your, looking back, you really did more than you should have on that handle. Oh, God. Yeah. And I really appreciate that. I got the physio from Strictly to come up and do work on my leg. He had us walking again in like three weeks because I was like, she's going to fucking kill me.

He's no Uruguilla. That's like, that's what I'm telling you. This is, we've become Unrelatable Yeah, yeah, yeah We've become unbelievable Oh no, my knee Call the guy from Strickley

Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm like, call him Paul McKenna Even better now I've gone even better Fisiole now No offence to the guy Who's got from Tritley Fucking brilliant

Not through a celebrity connection Oh yeah Through Rosie's friend Her best friend For her whole life Her husband His mate at uni Is the England

First Team Physio He's my physial now My God He came to remind the other day The other week Sorry to sort out Was it me else bruise me, oh, my stomach was up,

but he came to sort something out, and then he went and did fucking Jordan Henderson, literally the day after he went and sought a Jordan Henderson out. I was like, oh, there we go. I hear when I come in, though, when you're on that fucking bed. I hate it. Oh, God, he's got the sitting room, and he's got, he's on that bed. I'll know.

And I'm just walking about going, you are not an athlete. Why are you doing this? Like, imagine it from his perspective, when he's, like, working on, like, Jordan Henderson, he's just like, oh, yeah, just were like absolute athletes at the top of their game. And Jordan Henderson's like,

Oh, what are you doing tomorrow? He's just like, oh, some guy who just can't lift his arm because he's just become a bit of shit in life. Some old man who does Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and he's hurt his wrist. Do you do Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu? Yeah. Mate, I need to get to Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

Me and Ben were saying we need to do it. Do it. I'm a blue belt. Are you dangerous? Do it. Everyone in this building, I'll kill them all. I'm not scared. It's amazing.

For the brain, it's amazing. You love it. You get obsessed. You would get obsessed. with it. It's the best. It's the best thing. I'm the happiest

ever when I come off that matter. And do you feel like you can now protect your family? I could definitely run faster than them. Push them over. Push them over and leg it. Fitness levels are through the roof.

I was telling Rosie a couple of times so if you're mates are having a bit fun play with you or you know, it's like now it's quite good. Like a guy, modern lads grabbed us your day and tried to get us into this thing in a bar and I was just like within two seconds

I was behind him. I went, are we're going to stop now? And he was like, okay, it's quite good. That's the dream. It's quite good. No, it's the sad loser when Chris was younger. A midlife crisis.

Yeah, you've found your inner strength. You're karate kid. That's very, very good. I absolutely love that. It's when someone comes in, it's when someone comes in the gym between, like, someone comes in who's fucking massive and they've never done it before, and they're like that. And you literally, it's like fighting a baby. And you're like, this says, I feel so powerful.

Don't get us wrong if he was allowed to punch, kick or bite. I'd be dead. But he's not allowed. He's just got to play by the rules. my game now and I'm fine. But if he got us in the car park, I would be murdered in seconds. And Rosie, what is it like from your perspective? Like, when he comes back from rolling around with sweaty men? Disgusting. I call it cuddle club.

Cuddle club is good. Yeah. Definitely. So what you've got to remember, what you've got to take into this account, which I don't think you would like. Sometimes Chris has come home before and he's got a scratch on his eye. And I'm like, oh, God, what the fuck? Like, what happened to that? And he's like, oh, I don't know if that's a toenail or a fingernail. And that's one of the grossest things. And I don't know if it was mine or someone else. And I just think, no.

You've got a spot on your arm today. And he says it's off the mats. He's got ringworm every other month. Like, it's a vile. Stop it. So, yeah. Black eye. We did tell you.

Yeah, we did. TV shot of black eye. You had a black eye. Some people, people's cleanliness is upsetting. Some people, they'll take their gear off and they'll just put it in the corner of our room and they'll leave it for a week and then they'll wash it and then they'll come back. and it just smells like... You still make it like ammonia.

Ammonia. It smells like ammonia. Someone at the gym, every time I roll with them, I go, I've got through these clothes away. I just throw them away when I got back

because it's pointless. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, I'm avoiding that guy because I'm scared of him. I'm scared of his fucking smell. You were a lot better,

like, anxiety-wise and sort of stuff like that. It's very good for that. So, you know. Mate, if you and Ben want to, yeah. Well, this is again, another celebrity thing.

Ben was like, we need to do Brazil Jitsu. I was like, oh, why and he went, today I was talking to the man who came up with Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. And I was like, what are you talking about? He's like, yeah, yeah, he's going to like introduce us to it.

Roger Gracie or something's like that. So hang on, no, your first introduction. Third generation, I think. Something like that. Roger is really good. I mean, all the graces are amazing. So Hylio Gracie was the grandfather of it. And then Hylio had like Hickson and like hoist.

And I think Roger might be Roger might be Hickson Gracie's son. is he live in America and he does loads of videos online I think he's loads of them and they're all killers I did not expect to turn it to her who do you think you are yeah yeah yeah this is amazing I can't believe your first role is going to be with the founder

some's it up done it some believable do you know that people just paying stuff on the nails to stop them biting it they fucking phones Paul McKenna he goes to the source he goes to the source Hey listen I'm gonna I'm gonna try and go at Paul McKenna

listen you need to get me involved if you're all gonna be rolling with a Gracie you need to get me involved and you come down yeah man yeah Yeah, you can watch me get destroyed or whatever. Right. You, Joel and Ben Shepard is something that I don't need to say in life.

Come on, that'd be all sweaty. Tell Ben, I'm coming down. Just sweaty. The worst bit will be when I roll. The worst bit will be when I roll with the Gracie and they go, who the fuck gave you a blue belt? This is so exciting. Oh, sorry.

This is so exciting, man. Read the story, Joel. Come on. Three. Three absolute midlife crisis is. The three of the whitest men in the country. I'm so excited. This is so great.

You look great, by the way. But you both look fabulous, absolutely. So whatever both you're doing is working. I assume you're not doing. Can't really. I get all me free skin, kiss. No, I am not. That's going to be good.

It's great. This is the thing, whenever we see each other, Chris, or speak or text, we don't see each other enough. And I just want to say, I love you. I love you, too, man. Oh, I love that. That's nice, though. I've got two sons, and I think men should tell each other that they love each other. George's one of me good ones.

I've got a handful. I don't have many comedy friends. Joel's want me good ones. I'll take that. Yeah, I'll take that. I love that. I wouldn't have said that if I wasn't completely off my tits. Yeah.

I have got no excuse. I just love Joel. I am six near FND because I'm fucking, I'm all right. This is unbelievable. God. I'm going to do a ram raid after this. This is fucking go. It's such a 90s reference

Do you remember a ramrays? They don't happen anymore today What's a ram raids? They literally get in a car and then they drive into a newsagance and still jogging away I think that's a terrorist attack Yeah

No, it's a ram raid You drive it in It's an interesting story The Barba outlet is in the town where we're from Barbar is from South Shields Can you remember when everyone had the quilted jackets Yeah Everyone had the barbought jacket

Wax quilted? Not wax, just the quilted ones Everyone had them in South Shields everyone knew someone who could get one because they were all back of lawyer jobs because they used to ram raid the barber factory all the time. What happened was someone who works there got the forklift truck,

parked it next to where they were ram raiding. Stop it. And put the forklift blades, car, height, it got ramrated, someone nearly got a head taken off, it never got ramrated again. Wow.

That's that story. Just part of the forklift right here. Go on, drive in dickhead. Go on. That's great. But you know what's hilarious. If someone had died, then it got done for murder. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, don't win. I like to bring stories down. Yeah, thanks. No, I just don't, you know, shit all over it, it's fine. Right, go on, go. And you wonder why I wore a roll around with sweaty men for pleasure, because I live with this. Okay, here we go.

Hi, Kristen, Rosie. Please keep me an anonymous. Oh, God, these are obvious. You do auto-cue. You should be good at this. All he can hear on his head is. Please keep me anonymous. Last summer we moved into our new house.

Very kindly, the previous owners had left us all white goods, including a lush American-style fridge freezer. Winner! Nice. Oh, nice. Okay. On moving day, we realised there are a few bits left in the freezer. So we thought, oh well, they've left in a hurry

and threw it all in a kitchen bin. Fast forward two days, and the kitchen bin was full. My husband picked up the bin bag and what appeared to be bloody meat juices was dripping onto the kitchen floor.

We hurriedly put it in the wheelie bin and came back to disinfect the floor and bin, assuming whatever the previous owners had left in the freezer was a joint of meat. Oh God. It's not the wizard.

It's not, it's our podcast. It's not a joint meat. It's a... It's a... Rabbit's head. I don't know. It's something horrible. Go on.

We went out that day and were surprised to receive a message back from the previous owners to ask if we had possibly come across their forgotten item in the freezer. Oh, God, no. It's a fucking pet. It's a dead pet, Rosie, come on.

It's a dead dog or something. This is awful. It's a big American freezer. On reading this message, my husband and I simply could not believe what the contents of the freezer had been. It was the placenta. Nah.

No. Oh, no. For when they had their daughter, good God. It was now six years of. No. Shut the fuck. Oh, there's no goodness left in that.

That's gone. No, all of the, I don't know if it's true or not. You're kind of, you kind of age it. Surely there's like a six months. How do you... There's more to come. Oh, Jesus. Let's read to the end.

Let's read here. Okay, all right. That's right. A six-year-old placenta that they just left behind. But wait, when we were informed the previous sonar that sadly the placenta had been thrown away, they asked if it's only in the dustbin, Maybe you could pass it to the neighbour we are still friends with. Go and shut the...

No. No. And they could keep it for us. We kindly informed them that the bin had been emptied and the placenta was no longer in our possession. What the actual hellie, it had been defrosting for three days. Oh, right. Right. Some people, some people are so unhinged and I don't know what.

Entitled isn't the word, but it's all. almost kind of is like, you threw our placenta away. My son, my baby. No one north of York is fucking cracking on like this, right? That is so, well, can you just get out of the bed and give it to a neighbour who we're still in touch with,

and they're okay with weird fucked up shit like this, by the way. You fucking hippies. I was never in a, if somebody had done stuff with my placenta and said, have this, I would have done it. I think... What we're talking? Curry, stir fry?

No, like tablets. Pasta. Oh, tablet. We did the tablet thing. Did you do the tablet thing? We did the tablet thing. It was frustrated because it's actually quite a lot of admin. Well, that's what I'm saying.

I'm not doing my own placenta. It comes out. And then you're like, oh my God, we've got a baby. Baby, oh, what? What do you do? Then you've got to fill out a form. The first thing you do, you're like, okay, I've got to send off the form.

There's too much admin. And then you put it in a freezer and a man on a motorbike picks it up. And that guy's Paul McKenna. What do you mean you did the tablets? What do you mean you did the tablets? I think you dry it and then like... Yeah. They like said professionally, they get all the bacteria out of it

and apparently the placenta has really loads of goodness in it. Oh yeah, it's really good. And it's like because as a woman you kind of birth it out but actually that's where all of your good stuff kind of so you can put it back in. But six years later. The problem is, is that they made it into gummies, right? Placenta gummies. I don't know I fucking love a gummy.

don't tell me you had a placenta gummy. Right. They were on the table for Hannah to just like pop out, right? So they're for the mother. Yes, of course. I've got the mother. Why do you? What, you haven't birthed out in a placenta?

You've lost any iron. What you take? Well, just have a fucking pint of Guinness and shut up, you're fucking filthy hippie. What's going on? He's taken Anna's placenta. Right, so you're not able, right? He loves a supplement this.

Oh, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, Hannah's got more iron than me. I'm not having this. I've been to the gym for a couple of days get some more iron in knees massive Right, okay, sorry So I might have sweepingly called everyone who is a placenta

A Hippie there So it's for the mother who is breastfeeding And who is completely depleted From this incredible ordeal she's been through To get some of the goodness back in a Yeah I wholeheartedly apologize But men

You're fine the thing I watched the program once Where somebody kept it in their house And they put like lavender and rosemary on it And that Watch the same one I remember being this level of angry one We saw that

But there's stuff you can do now. Do people like treat you like a roast? Yes. That's exactly what they did. They kept this presenter in like a tree. And they just put like like dry petals. Remember we watched it together. Yeah, yeah.

And like lavender and just like like herbs. And but it went like all like out of day and horrible. They had it as an ornament. They just had it as an ornament. It was a room orderizer. It was disgusting. But. You don't have people like,

hang those dream catchers from a window. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It feels like that sort of vibe. Yeah. That was horrible. That was awful. So, at some point, I assume they've sort of come back with a placenta in a bag. And that, that to me, that image feels wrong.

Because it does feel like sort of you've decapitated someone. Yeah. Yeah. And you've brought it back. And you put it in the freezer. But why would, after six years? is what they've been doing. Unless they've been like chipping little bits off

and having a little bit now and then. That's cannibalism, in my opinion. Why is it still there? I mean, I've got stuff in the freezer. That shouldn't be. That's it. To me, right, freezer space, sacred as fuck.

Like, if there was a placenta taking up room in our freezer, I'd be raging. Yeah. Yeah, that is so true. My athlete's ice patch, ice pack thing out because she was kicking off. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, got to take it out. You're like, Chris, we've got to take the, placenta out. It's got to go. It's got to go. It's got to go. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, um, that bin must have fucking reeked. Oh, it's, like, the only way I can, I think a placenta looks like a really big bit of liver. You know, liver. I love liver. I, I, I did all the stuff and prepared for the birth and, like, tried to read all the books and tried to do all the stuff of, we listened to, like, YouTube tutorials about they're taking you through each step of all the birth and stuff. And I just think I forgot that, that, Because you're all in the madness of the birth and it's all crazy. And you pick your birth plan. On the birth plan, I said that I was going to, I was going to, I was going to deliver the baby and give it. Because I picked that because I thought that would be a funny challenge.

You want to be a business end? What the fuck? I went, of course a business end. What the fuck? I may, I might as well have been in a different room. I was not business. I wasn't in it. I'd be seeing that.

I didn't want to see you. Well, I wanted you to take photos and you wouldn't. no fucking chance. I want to get a video. Absolutely no chance. This is going to make you all like that. But we, Hannah was like,

no, I don't want videos. I don't want to do any of that stuff. It was fine. Totally get that. But when it was happening, I knew it was going to happen. So I just put the video on my phone

and I just set it up. So making sure non-business end. You know, I know my angles are working totally. The moment. And it's honestly. one of the most special things I have. I know.

It's mental. Yeah, I can imagine. It's like honestly. I thought you were about to slag it off. Oh, it's unbelievable. I would play it for you, but it's like the noise of it because it's so funny. And we try and watch it.

This is the mad thing. Whenever you've had like a hard day or a day where you're just like, oh, fuck a thing. If you sit down and watch that video, it sort of takes you back to like the majesty of it all. It's so ridiculous. Because it is fucking insane. But like the whole thing, so Hannah's giving birth

and she's doing it so well, she's amazing, she's going to be there for 36 hours or something insane. And then I try and catch it so the midwife goes, take your baby, take your baby. I shouldn't have picked it on the form because I was never good to catch it in school. Did you drop it? I didn't drop it, but I was very, they're sly things, man.

There's all that white stuff on. Yeah. Try to catch a rugby ball when it's a rainy day. Yeah, yeah. And then you sort of take it and then gave it to Hannah. And you get show it up by the midwife. I don't like that. Yeah, it's a lot going on.

You should know. And on the video, the thing that I really, it's obviously an amazing moment. And Hannah's like, oh, my God, oh my God. Oh, my God. And you hear this cry from the baby. And there's just like this silence. And I just go, oh, God.

I feel like that, oh, God. was like the start of the rest of my life. Brilliant. Brilliant. Have you, hang on though, have you still got that video? You need to,

if you could sort of like not have Hannah, you need to play that at the end of your stand-up. Yeah, that's a good idea, actually. Oh, God. Oh, God.

That's wonderful. Oh, God. Yeah. We've got to wrap it up. We've got to, we've got to go on anymore. Joel, always a pleasure.

Could talk you for hours, mate. Yeah. It's lovely to see you. I'm always so pleased you guys are doing so well. And I'm very happy for you and very happy for you and you're flying, mate. Next time I see you. Arm locks, chokes. I can't wait.

I can't wait to like pretend wrestle. It's going to be great. Are you Ben and Chris can have a threesome? Yeah. Yeah. Not sexual. Not sexual. Not sexual.

A threesome of technique, power, precision and sweat. I've got a gay friend, Cudley, he listens to this. he would pay good money to see you three, I think, together. Yeah, look, tell him to make an offer. Tell him to make an offer. I know he owns his own business, so tell him making an offer. Yeah, yeah, we would. We don't tell he's got a shelf like.

Let's go, I need Paul McKenna's number. Thank you very much, mate. Bye. Thank you.