Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Please Keep Me Anonymous with Jordan North and William Hanson

Episode Date: January 14, 2026

It's the podcast crossover of DREAMS! This week Chris and Rosie are joined by the brilliant Help I Sexted My Boss lads, Jordan North and William Hanson. There's a lot that gets covered including where William gets his haircut, some lady like sitting, Chris's glow up and there's even a bro shake! As well as all of this William and Jordan read a brilliant PKMA for Rosie and Chris. It may even give the smas and das some welcome advice! Jordan and William are on tour with the brilliant Help I Sexted My Boss Tour, expect dancers, costume changes and a whole lot more. For tickets visit sextedmyboss.com/live If you want to get involved and have your stories and voice notes included on the podcast then get in touch! Email: [e-mail] WhatsApp: [phone] Enjoy these episodes on the Shagged Married Annoyed YouTube channel: youtube.com/@shagged.married.annoyed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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See Golden Nuggettcasino.com for details. Please play response. Hello, you are listening to this week's episode of Please Keep Me Anonymous. Shag Mowd-Noid production, which I've started seeing. I love it. Which I quite enjoy. And this week's guests were the fantastic Jordan North and William Hanson from the podcast. Help, I sexted my boss.

There it is. Right, okay, I've got to apologise because we've just finished the recording. And we had one of those drinks. What are they called? The drink-drink-drink called... Gin and Duboni. Gin and Duboni. I swear to God, I am

Mortal. Rocket fuel. I am... I am... I'm... We just had to do a mic check on these mics and I was just... What happened? I'm... I'm pissed. Yeah, so listen... Jordan and William, so good.

I aroused William. You'll have to listen to what to find out or watch it to find out. They are taken their help. I sexted my boss podcast on tour in arenas. It's amazing because the first ever live show for it was in a pub in a pub in Camden. in the back room for pub and now they are doing London, Manchester, Cardiff and Glasgow arenas. Good for them.

The lush, they're really nice lads, their podcast is so popular and I'm just, it's nice to see nice people doing well. And it was a heck of a crossover. It was just lovely to have them on. I know we've got some similar listeners, so it's just amazing.

Get tickets quickly because their last two are sold 15,000 tickets in just three hours, which is how many, how many tickets is at an hour? Three. No, I couldn't even say the name of the pub, Okay, so I'm right.

5,000 ticker now. And I think it's on, it's on sale now. Of course it's 5,000, 5, 10, 15. All right, enjoy. Like, rate and subscribe. Subscribe, subscribe on YouTube, please. Smash that subscribe. Smash that.

Smash that button, man. Smash hot. Am I? I'm pissed? I get hot. I've got flushes. We hope you like the jingo. Jingle.

Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bao. Jingo. I went and liberated the glasses from the pub next door as well. Oh, are it really? That's really good. Is it good? Cheers. Cheers, cheers.

I'll warn you. Oh, William doesn't clink. It's common. I find it very common. You're going to love him. You are going to love him. I just know it. Clinking is common.

Yeah. Okay. Oh, that's nice. Is it, oh, let me try, hold on. That's a relatively faithful gin and parlor. I warn you, it'll get you pissed. Oh, mortal. That's strong.

What's in it? Gin and bonnet. And that's it. So there's no, there's no mixing. All right, that's why it's... Ice. Why are they made it so big? And it gets you a proper piss.

Queen Mother lived to over 100 on these. Ooh, well, it was a Queen Mother's favourite drink. And we started it on our very first episode. We were like, we'll bring in a different drink every episode. And then we had this and just thought, let's stick to this. So we have it now and we get so pissed. And isn't this way? you call your fan base.

Gene Deaivas, yes. I love that. I love that. What I was going to say, though, do you know what I really enjoy, right? There's certain little things in life where I go, oh, that was nice. You know, when you're at a long table and everyone cheers and you just see someone on the bottom and you go, cheats like that and you just kind of lift your glass. I'm not getting up. You're not getting up.

You're not going anywhere. So tell them if someone cheers to you, what's the proper etiquette? So if they say, happy birthday, Jordan, you're just meant to go. Yes, you never drink a toast to yourself. So if it was your birthday, Rosie, you would go, you would acknowledge. but then don't sip.

Because it's considered unlucky or superstitious. I don't even want to be in. And so you just go that and then you put it down. I mean it does seem a bit unfair if it's your birthday you can't drink. You can drink once the toast is over.

Right. But you don't drink during. But you don't... Wow. Okay, I did not know that at all. Honestly, I didn't need anything else to be anxious about in my life, but there's another one.

There's another one. Don't be anxious. Why? Chris is always sober on his birthday now. No, you can drink the second that toast is over. So why is clinking common? Clinking the glass? So historically why the clinking of drinking vessels, do you know this? Was it to check that you're not being poisoned?

Correct. So that would spill into the other guests. But they were wooden or metal tankards. They weren't glass. Right. So you could start smashing them together because they wouldn't really break. Okay. With delicate crystal glassware.

Not that this is delicate crystal or, well, it's glassware. It's from the pub dancing. I literally went borrowed it from the pub next door. Yes. We don't clink glass because it would break. Okay. I love it. I'm learning something new. I've actually been in your presence.

I've noticed that my body language has changed. Oh, excellent. For the better? For the better. Your posture is wonderful. My posture is better. Excellent. This is good for me because I've got a bit of wind right now. And there you are.

Right. And there's Jordan on his wing man there. I'm so glad we know. Rosie, how to do the Duchess Slant. So there's different ways of sitting and this is what they teach the real family. My colleague Micah came up with this term, but it's a way to sit. I need to come forward a bit.

Okay. Normally when you're sitting on the edge of the chair, yeah. You just sort of, if you're in heels, you have your going one way. And you have, if you, the key,

and you'll be able to sit up like this. Yeah. You'll be able to sit up like this for a decent amount of time. Yeah. Is have your bottom and your knees sort of parallel. This is how all the royal family, the female,

oh right, okay, I'll try it. You look at a fucking sea jumper. Yeah, I'd have your heels flat on the floor. If you see Kate on the telly, she'll be, she'll be doing the Duchessie. Slant. Yeah, if you've got longer leg.

Now, the Lake Queen didn't do this because she was relatively short. I don't know. The Duchess Slump may not be for you. I don't think I'm, I don't think I'll be practicing the Dutchian. But it looked very elegant. Duchess Slant. Slant.

Not as one of my... Rosie does the bog squat. Looks like she's having a shift. We don't teach that. I've been looking forward to this all day. Oh, it's so good to have. How are your feet? Are you tired?

Yeah, I am not going to win. I can't mention it. I can't mention it because I don't. listeners now like tell Jordan you know it's like when you read comments like tell them to shut up about being winged I'm a nurse I do 40 nowadays I'm like yeah fair enough oh no I used to no no I've got your back I used to do the radio show and it's an absolute killer it's really you're not digging up roads but that's my saying that's not say we're digging up I mean come up Rosie did capital northeaster did you do

what bodgin Matt who was they did you do they I didn't do it with them they were just there before me they left and then it got taken over by Scarlett Moffitt yes and oh it was Bodron Matt and Scarlet because my friend, I'm really good friends of Jojo who used to do it. But then I did the drive time show with Martin Laws. Yes. And then we used to do Lord the Cover for the breakfast show. My first ever proper radio show was on Overnights on Capital Northeast.

I went to Union Sundland. Nice. Stuart Barry, the P. Yes, yes. So he gave me. Spark at Sunland. You went at Union Sunland? Yeah.

What did you do? I did TV and radio production. It's a penis cameras? Yeah. So did that? That's what Chris did. How old are you? Did you?

Do you? I'm 35. Oh no, I was gone by the time you got there. Desire of you? I was 39. Yeah, so I was gone. I did film and media, Mac 101. Yeah.

No, I didn't know you went to someone. I didn't know this either. This is so weird. He had some Beards campus. Did Aaron Day teach you? Yeah. Aaron Day is one of my good mates. No way.

Yeah. Top lad. Yeah. So Aaron Day, shout out Aaron. Yeah. Aaron Day was one of my seminar lectures. Yeah, same with me. Yeah, but he was basically a couple of years ahead of me.

and then he graduated and then came straight back to bay because he's that good and then I didn't see him again for years and then when me and Rosie first started going out one of the first places we went together was Ashley, one of Rosie's best mates once she was a kid

Ashley's wedding to Aaron. No way! Aaron, they come around our house and stuff for dinner and stuff, yeah. I started in 2008, left in 2011. I loved it. How weird is it that we're all quote unquote famous

and when you're talking about celebrities of the cows come home but we and just went so high-pitched and excited. Because we had the same lecturer. And similarly, I bought a scarf from Finnic once in Newcastle. So we are. It's just uncanny.

This world. This world. Can I just see it? It's so fucking nice being able to have a conversation with Jordan without a one fucking headphone on, looking off at a light, and just count you out to put a song on. It's actually really nice to have an actual conversation.

Completely different on the radio. You give me raj amounts of anxiety when we're on capital with you, because you are so like clockwork with it, you're amazing. But you look, you're shit in your pants because you don't want to go for time. Because I know sometimes you've got 13 seconds to say something. It's nuts.

Because you've got to do everything to times. That's why I love podcasts now. Yeah. Yeah. Where do you do your podcast? Just around the corner. Five minutes away. We've literally walked here.

We've already had a gin in the bonnet. We've just recorded ours. I've got to be absolutely paralytic by the channel. Enjoyed. Enjoyed. I enjoyed paralytic in a posh accent. Oh, my old buddy, mate you feel stressed when I was interviewing. Every time.

but it's fine. I love you. I'll let you go out. Do you know what it's like, Rosie? Chris gets really, you get really stressed very easily. But then also sometimes, but can't read a room as well. So something mega could be happening and Chris has no idea. So it's, you know. It could be like a fire in the corner of the room and I won't know. Yeah.

If I've got something to promote. What it's right. You guys are going on tour. Yes. Which is very exciting. I'm a couple of weeks away now. Oh, is it? That soon.

Are you doing the aren't? We are. Wowzas. Which arena is you doing? We are doing in this order, Cardiff. Boom. Boom. Glasgow.

Unreal. Amazing. It'll be the best one of the tour. It'll be the best one of the tour. We love Glasgow. I'm telling you. It's a good night out. Yeah.

Yes. And Manchester. Which is where we're finishing where we started the podcast. So the very first couple of series were done in Manchester. So it's nice to go back and finish the arena. My worst hangover was after Glasgow a few years ago because they made me down books. Nice. No.

He's saying. They made me down. No, willing, they did. He, you decided, it wasn't in the script, there was some Buckfast, and you just decided. Oh, Bufffast. I took a sip and then they were like, down it. And I was like, no, no, no. And we tried to move on to the next like bit that we had.

And to the next skit. And they were going, no, no, no, to the point where they were all going, down it. And there's that whole. In his head. No. So I just down as rough as asshole. But it's red wine bookfast, isn't it? Yes.

It's like a sort of a Scottish debonnet. Yes. I guess. It's not as nice. It's not a Scottish. to Bunny. I've had Buckfast. It's nothing maybe. She has a question.

What's a arena you doing in Manchester? Ew or Qu? A-O. Oh, it's a beauty. It's an absolute beauty. I get terrible stage. Do you? I'm awful.

You've got better over the years. Even, it was Jim Bell Ball a few weeks ago just before Christmas and I was like shaking like a shitting dog. So I'm all right. Once I get on 10 minutes in, but I get it so bad. I don't know how you just do it. We've got different ways. I'll read a quiet.

Before I do anything big, I go really reserved. I'm like, my makeup artist is always like, you just fill in your tank, I just can't say anything, I'm quiet. You are like, fucking... Irritating a toddler on crack. Like, it just... All over the place, so it's... We're very different vibes.

And we're from the north-east, we've seen loads of toddlers on crack. We know what it's like... That's a perfect explanation. I'll see so many toddlers on crack. When I said it, though, I thought, doesn't crack make you really chilled? I don't think we're chill a cordal. No.

It's more like... Oh, is it? Okay, well, that's Chris. No. That's great. So we're like a different energy. Yeah. Do you share a dressing room?

Yeah, we do. Do you? Yeah, we have to be. Well, yeah, we did. What do you mean? No, because I'm just... I'm sorry, that sounds like, Jordan House. I mean, you're surprised.

You get the portable... This is news to me. I'm not being on me own. You get the portable speaker and you want to, you blet. And one thing that I can't stand is noise. And you can't, when you're trying to compete with whatever, you know, Tina Turner or whatever you've put. on the speaker.

And I'm like you, Rosie, I want absolute calm, just for half an hour before I go on stage. And then there'll be noise, hopefully, when you go out on stage, that's what we want. But all this sort of, oh, chat, chat, chat. Yeah, I agree.

I'm really surprised you share a dressing room. Yeah. I don't know why. Especially if you don't like each other. What did you say? Especially as we don't like each other. We're practically married. I can't be in on my own.

I'd go a clown. I'll be there. I'll be there with you. We'll just maybe not have Tina on so loud. Okay. Oh, this is so sweet. This is so sweet. So you started as an etiquette coach. Well, I'm still just about an etiquette coach as well. Yeah. So I'm hoped to finish as an etiquette coach as well at some point. Now you're a arena-filling podcaster. And you just, just radio, straight through radio, straight at one of the biggest radio shows in the UK. Well, so I was, how we met was I was on work experience at Five Live. I was working on like a late night show.

I was literally making tea and he was one of the guests on the show. And I had to make him a cup of tea. I met him a brew in a chip mug and he pulled his face and I was like, well, right?

And this is how we met. And I thought he was like, because he looks, how he looks now. I thought he was like in his 40s and married to a librarian wife. He's a terrible judge of character. And then we said goodbye

and I showed him out and thought I'd never see him again. And then my mate said to me in 2012 I lived with two mates. who also worked in radio. They went, we've got a friend coming tonight. He's a bit posh. You won't like him.

Just don't be rude. And she said to him, my housemate's a bit rough around the edges. You won't like him, don't be rude. And it was a 2012 opening the Olympic party. He came out of, oh, we met a few weeks ago. And he took the piss out of me all night. And I've never laughed so much.

And you took the piss out of me. I did, to be fair. I gave it back as good. And we were holding court in front of everyone. Just giving each other shit. And I've never laughed as much. And I knew we were going to be friends with us. A week later, we went.

You took me out for dinner, didn't you? Yes, we went for dinner in Manchester somewhere. I don't know if still there on Dean's Gate. And Jordan ordered mussels for first cause, which I thought was a bit ambitious. He ordered it anyway. And as they're prepared, you know, you order, in any restaurant, you sort of order your food. They come and prepare the place setting, depending on what you've ordered. So they bring over the finger bowl, which is a glass dish of water with some lemons in it.

And Jordan generally looked at it and turned to the wait and went, no, I didn't order the soup. And he thought it was soup. God bless it. Oh, come. I'm a posh restaurant. I thought a load of muscles. That's what posh people do. Do you know in the movie Scarface, there is a moment where it's a very, very subtle sort of insight into the character.

Tony Montana is in a posh place like that. And they've got the little ball with the lemon in. And he takes the lemon out and he eats the lemon. Because he's from such a rough background in Cuba that he doesn't know that that's just for Washington. That was amazing. You are literally, you are the Northwest's Tony Montana. And we've just been friends ever since, haven't we? And I was on local radio in Preston at Rockafem for Bauer,

and we used to get him on every once a week. And he judged people's decorations. I'm still doing the same shit now. We had him on Capitol last week judging people's decorations before Christmas. People seem to accept us a lot more now than I did about there. He was hated around like people like, who's that Bush? Oh, no. Oh, I don't care.

Good for you. If I wanted to be liked, I'd have become a vet. That's always been, that's always been my motto. They were walking soundbite. Where did you grow? Bristol, just outside of. Oh, right, okay. Nice.

Vicki Pollard and I are very similar. Yeah, clearly. Hard to tell us apart sometimes. But, yes, Bristol and then went to University of Manchester, stayed on in Manchester. That's where we met. Right. I love these backstories.

Yeah, I don't know any of that. Yeah, it was only a friend. Or mate Stuart who's there tonight who owns the production company that make it. He said to us used to you should do a podcast. Wow. And it's been hugely successful. And now it's doing arenas, which is amazing.

Can you believe, like, well, we're similar, but I sometimes can't believe how big podcasts are now. Crazy. Well, they're so intimate, aren't they? Because I think, you know, because radio is great and there is an intimacy to radio that, let's say, television doesn't have. But podcasts is there is an even further intimacy

because most people listen to podcasts on their headphones, on a commute or in the gym or whatever it happens to be. And so you are literally the voice in their head. Yeah. And I think you do, you do build a, the few podcasts I listen to, you do build a connection with them because you're listening to them. Oh my God, I listen.

So I watch Real Housewives, right? I watch them all. Oh, all of them. I wanted it to be my specialist subject on the wheel, but the wooden letters. And I was like, I don't know. It's so fussy on that show. I will not hear a bad word said because I love Michael.

Oh, yeah, yeah, it's so lovely, but I'm trying to get you actual topic on it. Oh, God. Well, I was like, I want to do Real Housewives, so I like, no. And then they were like, what else? I went, crisps. They went, no. And they were like, can you do podcasts? I was like, fine.

I don't know that much about podcasts. The strong army, that's something you're actually not an expert. Yeah. So I'll listen to, like, the Real Housewives podcasts. And I swear to God. They're a Real Housewives podcast. Yeah, so it's where the ex-real housewives talk about the show and the kind of like it.

And I'm obsessed. right, but to the point where I keep messaging them on Instagram and I need to store. You're messaging the real housewives, like a crazed fan. I am. Stop it. I am a crazed fan. No wonder you've ever been asked to host any of the reunions or anything.

They've probably got your fucking, they probably got a restraining order against you. No, no, I got Jamie Lange and Sophie are doing at all. No, don't you? I got my message when Catherine Ryan, when I found out she was hosting the show, I messaged her and I was like, look, I never, ever do this. but if you do any like live things or if can I come and she was like yeah I was getting up please really I want to come I'll come don't want anything I'll just be in the crowd I'm going I'm going to go to Vegas next year I'm the same with the Avalon you make your podcast I've just seen Daisy and I'm like

when I met Daisy a few weeks ago I was like oh because I listen to older and wider with Jenny and Judith I love it it's my favourite podcast it's for women in the 60s I listen to it every night. That's amazing. I'm going to watch them live as well. At the time of recording, I'm going to watch them this Sunday. And I'm the same.

I love him. But you message him on Instagram. I emailing Jenny Claire. Like, Oh my God. Jenny's awesome. She said, I've never mentioned.

You can come and meet me backstage afterwards. I was like, oh my God. But you do, you really get into podcast. And your listeners, what I love, and you'll probably have this as well, listeners say to me, I love it when they say this. You go, oh, I don't really listen to podcasts,

but yours. And that I'm like, because in London, everyone listens to, you're only four minutes away from a podcast recording, aren't you? Yeah, that's true. That's true. First thing Jenny Clay ever said to me

when I was there, I supported her once, I picked up in Manchester at the Malmere as an hotel. Never seen this before in my life. I just got hooked up to a supporter because we're on the same management. She got on my car,

she looked at us, and she said, you look just like my daughter. Did you look just like her daughter? I had longer hair at the time. Okay, fine. No. Literally the first thing she ever said was.

Oh, you look just like my daughter. I went, hello. It was really odd. Really is, but just so fucking fun. Does her daughter have stubble as well? I thought I looked quite madly at the time, but apparently I looked like a daughter. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bao.

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with Advil plus acetaminopinifin. Adville, the official pain relief partner of the NFL. Ask your pharmacist at this product's rate for you. Always read and follow the label. Babadoo, Babadoo, Babadu, Babadu, bah. When we came in and sat down, William was saying he was working out what seat to sit in, because he came in before you.

Because I was on time. Yeah, because, oh, wow, yes, because he was punctual. I was outside. So he said to which side he would sit on, and then he just threw it up in the air there. He said, oh, well, I'll have to sit on this side because Jordan's deaf in one ear. We don't know this.

Yeah, this is William's face. but it's not. I said it was funny. Well, I find it funny. Is this one of the things where they tell it and we're horrified? Maybe, but I'm excited. Basically, I've been deafing my right ear since I was about 12, 13. I was putting my dog there. I was putting my bike away in the shed.

I'm never forgetting my ear. It's already such a northern story. My mum said to me, she went, go and put your bike away. I'll get nicked. I was like, oh, for a fuck. She went and go and put your bike away. So went downstairs. and I put my bike in the shed.

My ear burst. And I think I was so angry, I've burst. And basically I've burst a blood vessel. It could have been an amorism. Could have been really. So I've been, look, they're horrified. So I've been dead. You see, I just laughed.

You were so angry. How the hell was he putting this bike away? I don't know. You burst your ears. And for three weeks, she says it weren't. It was a week. For about three weeks, I'm going, Mom, I can't hear in this air.

She's going, don't be deaf. Don't be daft. She took me to talk to me to talk to me to talk to me. Oh no, yeah. And then I had an ear. Unbelievable. I have gotten hearing it, but I never wear it. Do you know what?

I honestly thought you were going to see it. And this is this, because my brain went there. This must be the most slapstick story ever. I thought you were going to see it. I was putting me bike in the shed and I fell in the prong of a reek. That would make more sense. You were so angry. I've told this story before.

And like, to be fair, in his specialist, D.M. and went, look, that's probably not how it happened. I should get it stuck in. I'm like, well, look, it's a funny. He's like, look, I deal with, like, a lot of deaf kids, and I'm pretty unlikely that's why he went deaf. And I was like, no. I was putting my bike in my shit.

Telling me to put this bike way. I wish I couldn't hear, I see it. I was so fuming. I burst a blood vessel. Right. Maybe get out of my pit. We've got a 10-year-old, and if he knew that, he would literally, you'd try to get a burst of year,

so he could blame something else on them. Do be careful when you're putting your bikes away. Yeah, that is, I just leave them out and then Chris loses his mind. She had a hens, she had a horse of the hendoo at our house, and she's got all the bikes and put them around the side, and they're pissing down rain, and they were there for weeks. It's not my job. That's a blue job.

That's your job. I don't move them out of the fucking side out of the way then. I need you to see them. Do you have blue jobs in your house? As opposed to pink jobs. Yeah. No, we just have pink jobs. We should probably stop seeing that.

It's probably massively, like, second. What, blue jobs and pink jobs? Well, it's just different jobs. I know it's 2026 now, but I still think blue jobs, pink jobs, isn't there? Yeah, bins, bins, bikes. That's actually what you do. What the fuck? Oh, oh dear.

No, we've been through this before. I sort out all the insurances, all the bills. Oh, bins bikes and bills. Bins, bikes and bills. There you go. All right, B jobs then. B jobs, not blue jobs. All the bees.

B jobs. We have a few of those in our house as well. Oh shit. I did it in your way. and I didn't spot it. It's the, whatever the fuck this is I'm doing. Everything's an innuendo to William. No, it's not.

Right. Okay. We do have a lot in common, but that's one thing. We've got this weird, we love old school, like 60s, 70s, British sick homes as well. Put an episode of I being served on or we're anyone. Oh, nice. And not many people our age would like, quote, are you being served or what, keeping up appearances, which women's obsessed with. Oh, my gosh.

You do a podcast about keeping up appearances, don't you? Yes, I do. Yes. We've sort of finished talking about all the episodes because there are only 40s. too criminally. She's dead now. She's back now. She died last year.

So we've moved into other stuff. But yes, it started off. Five series we did us. What about one foot in the grave? Love that. They had the same sofa. Hyacinth and Victor Maldry had the same sofa because it was filmed at the same time. And actually, if you look at the floor plan of the set of Victor, Victor and Margaret's house

and Huyerset and Richards, it's basically everything in the same location. Because that's like, that's incredibly similar. Yeah. Other than Victor of Margaret's is a two-story and. Hyacin this is a bungalow. He is a little question for you. What's the phone number? 4291.

Where he picks up the Dix of Melrose's phone. Yeah, 491. Meldrew. Yeah, exactly. I went into... It's all about kids in the 90s. I know.

This is so nostalgic. You have to watch Tally where your mum and dad and you ended up watching there, didn't you? I know, Mrs. Warboys. But yeah, I went into Hyacinth's house, the actual house in Binley Woods in Warwickshire. just outside of Coventry.

We were filming something here at the start of last year, and the owners who still own it and owned it at the time, are like, yeah, do you want to come in? Wow. Then going inside Hison's house, everything's like, no, no, I'm sorry, why is, no, the kitchen isn't here. Right. Yeah, we went in.

That's crazy. Wow. I've got other stories, I can tell you off microphone. Yes, do you, I hate knowing secrets of tele. Yeah, it didn't ruin it. No, it ruins everything. Yeah. I can't watch a TV show now.

When you did Hebb, that's when it all, that's when it really ruined it for me. Right. Because we went and the house, they only ever shot the front door and then the rest of it was studios in Manchester. All of the rooms, every single room was a studio. It was not a real house.

And I was like, what do you mean? What do you mean? This is it. And then there was, she took it really badly. And there was lights being shone through, like for the sun. And I was like, this is just ruined. That light, that was the sun.

I just going to stand in front of that and have a cup of tea on an afternoon. It was so lovely warm. I bet. So lovely and watch him straightly because that's a long record. Have you done strictly?

I've not done it but God I've been to I've never been to one it records but you get a pack of biscuits and a lot of what's put me off going

I would never stay for the second bit well you did straight yeah yeah but I was on there but I'm saying if they went me if they were like oh go and watch

say Rosie did the series I started they wanted just to go and watch someone I'd say I'm watching I'm not sitting there for the result because that's what I had no chance it's about six out of day

it is long I once when we went to watch you remember when I spoke a glass of wine on us. Full glass of white wine. I had to sit with a wet dress and I stank of wine

and then Anton Dubek's wife who's their posh you get a longer out I mean as I think case in point I get on with a lot of people No no but you really get on with her Okay Like Anton and I have the same hairdresser

Oh well there you go And she was lovely But I could tell that she was like You stink of wine So I had to say like I've spilt a full glass of wine on his dripping wet and I stink a drink I'm sorry. The hardest bit about that is you've already stank of wine.

Yes, what it is. And then you sucked bottling yourself as well, which is so bad. My sister's never let us together. She's always like, is it not that, do you get on, would you see you get on with sort of, you know, scum? Do you point in a job. He pointed out of John. Follow all the listeners.

I thought you were going to say salt in the earth. I'm sorry, I did that on purpose. Would you see you get on with, you know, scumb bags? better than you get on with posh people. Yeah, I'll get on with anyone. No, but if you're... I'm one of the nicest people I know. If you had...

What a lovely review of yourself. I know. If you had to, like, rank it if you had to go, look, who do I get... Gun to your head, who do I get on with better? Do I get on with people below my social status? Yeah. Oh, below. Yeah.

Because then I feel superior. Yeah, like a little pet. I knew it. I knew it. Fantastic. Fantastic. Yeah. Babadoo, babadu, babadu, ba'a.

But a high sense bouquet. the best, just the best sort of short-hand bouquet and bucket. It was just genius. It was just, it just, it just sums the whole thing up in one goal. I mean, I used to, I don't think this breaks any NDAs, but years ago I was working for. Have you signed NDAs before?

Oh, yes. This thing he teaches families and royal families and people, like big, rich families. Go on, sorry. Gosh. I was working for a Middle Eastern family who's, well, the wife's, name was, as she said, Kamel. It was camel. It was Russian camel. And it's like, it exists. Camel. Camel. It was Camel. It was Camel. It was Camel. It was Camel. I mean, it's written C-A-M-E-L. It's Camel.

So it's, and I love it. So I was like, what did you do when you said that? Did you get the hump? Oh, God. Oh, God. There he is. There is. You know why I don't know. Because they said they liked old school humour. Oh my God, clip that up. He just did a bro shake. What the fuck? Did I what?

You just did. I have never seen you do that in your life. Oh my God. The pun was so good. I broke you. You got a bro shake. I'll be watching Question of Sport next. I'll be done for about four years, but good.

I'll watch the reruns. Enough of the toxic masculinity on this podcast. No one's ever said to you. I'm just toxic. This is not disappointed. You're probably listening to it. It's awful, but I've been looking forward to this all this all day. Oh, bless you.

That's so lovely. We've been looking forward to having you guys on. We can't actually believe how many good names that we're getting, like, good people. We got in shock. We thought no one would do it. We were saying that on the way here. We were going to show some good names. It is, isn't it?

It's a madness. We're having such a nice time. And this is the crossover that people didn't know the needed. This is wonderful. Oh, Jordan, could you tell Chris, did I tell you the statistic that Jordan told me this day? Yeah. So I was. saying when I was telling

Rosie when I was in between that stressy bit of the radio I was saying that our, so I'm producer Ben you've got to make to you some researches. Do you remember this? And we got some really good figures back and I was proper proud of it. It's really interesting. It said there's quite a lot of crossover

between our podcast and yours. And we do really well in like female working class audiences. Oh, sisters. I think that's what I bring. Yeah. Which I was proper buzz. Shagmarineh night, sex did.

I like, do, like, at the top of the leaderboard face. It would, don't get me, it was quite a small skim. Well, they weren't small. It was a proper research company that did it. And there's a lot of people, I think, that listened to Sex, Ed and Shagmary tonight. So they're both a bit rude. Yeah, exactly.

I know that. I know I do well with working class women because working class women have been dragging their devastated boyfriends and partners to my stand-up gigs for years. I can see them. There's a man folded on. there's a woman smiling. There's a man folded arms.

There's a man on his phone. There's a woman smiling. The working class lady's living, when we go on tour and stuff, he'll literally take the piss out what they're wearing, say some really horrible stuff, and they're going, what's it like?

What's the one? What was the one you said about that woman's dress? Oh, you have to narrow it down. It's just because they're in the crowd and text the piss, and they love it. It's like the best part of the show. Because obviously when we did the tour, everyone was like, so how's the podcast?

How's it going to be on stage? Yeah. And I think people, expected us just to have... Come along and find out. Yeah. Well, yeah. But everyone expected us just to have a table in a couple of nights. Same. Some podcasts do. Well, I think

do, yeah. But what are you guys doing the full... We have dance routines. Yeah. We're going to have... We have costume... My costume budget for this upcoming tour, very high. It's not so much. But... Yeah, we don't sit

on... We say this, like, we don't sit on stage and do a podcast like we do every week. Like, it's proper... It's a miss-it, miss out. If Sean Oduke Radio we've said it's like Panto meets Bongo's Bingo

Oh I love that We just get everyone on art We do little skits and stuff We're having six dancers this time Yeah Oh see look at the budget The debonettes The debonets

Yeah Oh By the way It's just the screenshots That have been sent in the WhatsApp group Williams picking the debonets They might all be A very similar

Demographic They're all twinks No they're not Some of them are twunks What's Explain to Chris what a twink is. I don't know what's a twink is. I don't know what's a twink is.

So I watched Die Hard day that day so I can only think of Twinkies. No, I don't think there are any twinks in Die Hard. No. Not the official version. A twink. A twink is a young, generally,

young or young looking, pretty gay male. Where does Twink come from? I don't actually know. I think it's American. Is it not from drug? drag race. Could be. I think it's an American sort of like yeah. But like Kiki, like Kiki's become a really

popular scene and that came from drag race, yeah. And then a twunk is sort of, you probably have been a twink, you've got a bit older, you've maybe beefed up a little bit. Twunk. Twunk. Yes, I would say... No, no, no, twunk's good. No, these are all good. No, no, no. You've had a glow up, lad. We need to, can we discuss... Jenny and Claire would change her review of you now. Like, you've not moved to London, have you? No, no.

But yeah, because that's usually what happens when you move to London. Right, real, what, what happened in real life? Midlife crisis. No. I've just started dressing you. Oh, yeah. And I made him cut his hair. Yeah, okay.

And you just, you opened your skincare as well. Do you put spoof on your face in the morning? SPF, spoof. Oh, right. Yeah. No, but we don't get much stuff. Sunlight in the North East. Yeah, but you've come down here now.

Yes, no, but I do, I'm moisturised now. Did you really just call it spoof? Again, that was, on one of our tours, he sprayed the front row in spoof. I spoofed all over the front row. The joke track themselves, Rosalie. I just haven't. You're definitely. I've never heard it, because this is brilliant.

Always put spoof on your face. I do, I put spoof on every day. Well, yeah. I love a bit of spoof in the morning. He's got lovely skin. Beautiful skin. Thank you. Yeah, you have.

Spuff. Spuff. You are meant away a factor 50 like every day. Have you live in fucking Jamaica? No, even over here. Even over here. What? The Nitzel Shields?

You're crazy. Let's put it this way. Rosie and I will have the last laugh when we're 80. And we still look 70. It gives up. But it's to that point. Come on. You don't look a day over 70.

Thanks, Maureen. I've got sunspots on my face off where I just, when I, I worked in roads for two years, right? Didn't wear any spoof. Oh. Just, I would hate to have one of them lights on my face where they'd look at your sun damage. Oh, you must. You must go, it's fascinating.

And they tell you how polluted your face is and they go, oh, it's amazing. He's, best thing I've ever done. Can I just say. I've got the skin of a 24-year-old. Have you been for one of them full-body M-O-Ts, the MRI and that you can get? No, not yet. Not yet.

But he spends a lot. Like, have you had Botox recently? He gets it a lot. Which is fine. But he's, you've got the same hairdresser as Princess Margaret and Anton Debeck. No, not Princess Margaret. She's been dead since 2001. Oh, Princess Anne.

Princess Anne. He gets his hair cut at Harrod's. It's Princess Anne, Anton Debeck and me. It's the same haircut. This is wild. Everyone has the same haircut. I told you get home with Anton's wife. She's lovely, by the way.

She's one put that out there. No, he gets his hair cut in Harrods. All of you were born in Harrods is a box of fucking shortbread. It gets his haircuts. You've been to Harrods more than once. Yeah. You've got Harrods regularly. yesterday.

Harrod's! Yeah. This is mental. He's so spenny. He's like, fair play to him. Rich, wealthy people know how to like spend money. Are you, are you not? How much is a hair cut?

It's got real goyards. What the fuck's a goyard? I didn't know what it was. It's a handmade bag. Everyone's got the face. I thought a guyard was the thing on the, it's like a garboyle. He's very spenny. I've not.

How much is the hair cut from Harrod's? Don't ask. Is that rude ask? No, I just. It's, you know, it's decent. You can bleep this out. Okay. That's...

It has... I'll be honest, when I started going there, not long ago, well, five years ago, it was 65. That's inflation for you. Wow. I'll get my full hair dyed and cut and blood dried for that. Yeah.

Wow. And this is a trim. That's bad. Yeah, and really, for me, it should be half price. Do you know what it is? Actually, that is. It's your money. If you're enjoying yourself, that's how you want to live.

I love... Nope. For you. I'm glad. I'm glad. I'm glad. because I would honestly, if you went to one of those Turkish barbers with a call your boss, I'd worry about you. Yeah.

I'd be like, I'm like, I'm going to feel like. Stick, stick, stick. I'm sticking. I know what I like. I love it. I just like the experience, you know, and I feel. Life's too short. Better than that.

It's not that short to get your air caught. Fucking Harrodso is it. I do. I don't go every week. I mean, that would be ridiculous. I think life's too short. It doesn't grow quick enough, darling. I don't go every week.

This is one of the strongest drinks. It gets you like a giddy junk as well. Oh, yeah, I'm giddy. I say this all the time. People think it gets you giddy. Yeah. It's like a girl giggly junk. We're going out.

Well, out. We're going to show them on it. I know. My, when I first moved to London, I rang my mum and dad up. And I'm like, Mum, I found this curry place. And she's like, I can't be better than a Burnley curry. I took him down. And mum went, Abdul, that best curry I've ever had in my life.

And waities because I know them all. She were like, yeah. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadu, ba. You guys have got a story for us. Oh, yes. Dear Chris and Rosie, please keep me anonymous. Now, usually William reads the letters because I'm... And you'll see why in a minute.

I'm very dyslexic. I can't read. This story from... This story from many years ago involves a nick that doesn't show me in a great light and I'm also hoping for some advice. You've come to the right place. I'd been seeing Tom, not his real name, for around six months.

He was gorgeous, funny, charming and not afraid to show his vulnerable side. My overbearing family were big fans of Tom. One weekend, I went back to my parents and Tom came along. It was great and ended with a big Sunday roast. Around the table were mum, dad, two brothers and my younger sister.

We were enjoying a delicious roast lamb when Tom suddenly started banging his head on the table and his face was getting redder and redder. It became clear that Tom had a piece of something, turned out to be a gristly piece. of me stuck in his throat and was yes, choking. Oh, he's choking. Oh my gosh. Okay. Yeah.

Right. That was really good. Well done, Jordan. That was lovely. You didn't make one mistake. I don't want to be too patronising, but... Listen. Thank you. Because usually if I read some, it's got to be in comic sands. Yeah, good reading. Highlight it. What a fucking diva. Comic sands or I'm not even looking at it.

No, there was a point where he's trying to get... I'll produce us to print everything off on yellow paper. Yeah, that lasted a week, didn't it? Anyway, the dilemma continues. I completely froze, my younger civil. jumped into action and started the Heimlich maneuver. The piece of meat became dislodged and flew across the room. Everyone was relieved and gathered around Tom,

who, after seeing his life flash before his eyes, burst into tears. Well, I'm not sure if it was the tears, the red face or the bulging eyes, but I had very quickly gone off Tom. Well, I'm glad you're all. Oh, this is fantastic. You absolute tears.

Yes, okay, good. I'm glad you'll say. Okay, predictably. No, I get it. I get it. We broke up shortly after the choking incident. I'm sure if he had been the man for me, I would have seen past this, but I still shudder when I think about it. So the advice I'm after is, what should you do when you get that really piece of chewy meat during a meal in a restaurant or at someone else's house?

Should you just swallow it down or discreetly spit it out and leave it on the side of the plate? Help appreciate it. This is a good one for you. First of all, as far as Ix go, we've had some great X-Send. One of my favourites is someone dropping a receipt and a receipt. trying to pick nobody keeps blown away from them and my favourite icks

like someone saw a fella do that and she was like a vagina just dried up No what about the little man who ran for the bus with a backpack on Man who ran for a bus backpack on yeah

yeah bounced up and down he's gone but the fact that the yick is he nearly died by choking and was upset about it is the yick some people are fucking impossible

to please I think that's brilliant impossible to please someone choking on that oh he nearly died how unsexy yeah that's horrible Guys, I'm sorry, I'm getting it.

What would you have preferred? If he just died like a fucking man. If he died like a man, she said in your bit that you read, oh, he's sure he's a vulnerable side. He wasn't afraid of, she was vulnerable to die. Oh, but nearly dying was too far. Did I ever tell this? My mum choked on a piece of me.

She's having a meal on her own. No one of my worst feelings. She had to ring, and go around to next door, next door called the ambulance, right? This is so bad. She was in hospital. None of us knew. My brother come home. Half a tea were left on the side.

My brother ate it. He finished the tea with a... Hey, jokes. He runs next door. And my mum would come back, she went, oh, traumatised, we were like, where have you been? No one even noticed.

And he finished the tea. It was left outside. He went, oh, I thought you'd left it out for me. And I told you this story, actually, recently when we went for lunch. Well, about seven years ago, I was sitting somewhere in Chelsea, and Patricia Outledge, Highersent Burké,

was on a table of, a few tables away, on her own having lunch. And she started choking on a crisp, generally, because there were sandwiches and crisps. And I thought, oh my God, this is my moment. I am going to have to do the Heimlich on Hyacinth Bouquet. I'm going to sort of have some sort of gay honour because I've saved her. And then she just, she recovered.

So I didn't actually even get up. She didn't get a seen then. What's your advice for that thing? Sorry, I'm being a presenter now. No, no, no. Rosie tells me I should be a vegetarian because I'm so squeamish with meat. If I get any bit of gristle or something meal room. When you're chopping chicken, if you do chop your chicken,

do you have to, I cut off the tendons. and any of the sort of bloody bit. There's almost fuck all left. I'll have you, aren't it? There's almost nothing left. I'm serious. I can strip a whole chicken down and nothing.

I'm terribly wazable with it. That's why Rosie is a chrisal. But it's so annoying in it because any bit of gristle you guarantee it'll end up on my plate and it'll be the first bite and I'm done. And put you up, yeah, yeah, I'm with you.

So what do I do? To not look like a pig. More vegetarian. No, but what do I do? No, what they've said there? What do I get it? Oh, if you're... Are you asking me if you should spit or swallow?

Yeah. Yes. Generally, if you, things like grizzle, fish bones, bones, meat bones, you can't swallow them. So you are going to have to remove it from your mouth. So I would spit it into your dominant hand, use your non-dominant hand to shield and then place it on the side of the plate. Fantastic. Not a tissue? No. Not a napkin. Not a linen napkin, no. Oh, God. So just into your hand.

Just into your hand. Just into your hand. And on to the pot. What about? Because I used to be a pot wash. Or you can put it onto your fork, depending on your fork. It can be spat onto your fork. but then we still see it kind of out. So I would use your hands to shield it. I used to be a pot wash and eat all leftovers, you know, that come back in. Did you?

Yeah, to do that old time. So if someone spat something back out. Yeah, but what would you prefer to do? Swallow it and choke. Yeah, but you do that. I used to spit that out. The pot wash goes, mind sweeps everyone's plates. You might get a cold.

You used to do it when you weren't the stadium. I used to do it. I used to silver serve people at Christmas time. I used to silver serve people. Oh, how excited, William was it? Yeah. And he does it sometimes at. At Sunday lunch.

Crumb down. Crumb down. I can silver serve. A lot. I've got a semi. Don't. What's got into you? He never says this.

Right. Okay. Glow up and you can silver serve. Literally. We're going to... This is it. This is it. We have...

We've got to go. We've got to go. I'm so sorry. This has been amazing. I can't stand up. So can we not stretch this on for a little longer. What's the other? dedicated for hiding a semi in public.

I've talked, we've had this before. You just line it up. Yeah. In your waistband. There's no other way. Just line it up. We've talked about just line it up on your waistband. It's the best way to do it.

This is a real problem that you'll never, you know, women will never understand the problem of getting a semi, you know, in maths when you were a teacher. I wasn't, that wasn't probably listening. It's one of the worst things you ever said. We'll have to go. We've got to leave it on. This has been a joy.

Thank you for having. much. Thank you for coming on. Thank you, lads. Thank you. Thank you.