Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Please Keep Me Anonymous with Maisie Adam

Episode Date: March 11, 2026

Joining Chris and Rosie Ramsey this week is comedian, podcaster and Taskmaster Series 20 winner, Maisie Adam! They discuss KPop Demon Hunters, teen crushes, ex partners and why Chris has had enough of weddings! Maisie talks about a recent wrestling injury and Rosie reveals what 'Tour Chris' is really like. All of this plus Maisie reads out one of your Please Keep Me Anonymous stories! Maisie's Tour 'Whatsherface' starts in September 2026, for tickets visit maisieadam.com You can also catch Maisie on her podcast Big Kick Energy, wherever you get your podcasts! If you want to get involved and have your stories and voice notes included on the podcast then get in touch! 📧: [e-mail] 📱: 07874 406650 You can watch the podcast on the Shagged Married Annoyed YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@shagged.married.annoyed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Getting ready for a game means being ready for anything. Like packing a spare stick. I like to be prepared. That's why I remember, 988, Canada's suicide crisis helpline. It's good to know, just in case. Anyone can call or text for free confidential support from a train responder anytime. 988 suicide crisis helpline is funded by the government in Canada. Hello, you are listening to and watching Shagged Maridenoid.

Please keep me anonymous. This week we are joined by the hilarious. Macy Adam, first time I've ever met her. Have you met her before? I think we've met. I think me Macy might have met back in the day on a random comedy line-up somewhere. But this was the first time we sat down

and had a proper chat and we had a cracking time. I love her. I knew I was going to like her. You know, I've seen loads of stuff on Instagram and I just knew that I was going to like it and I did. Absolutely smashed it at the minute. So funny.

Taskmaster, Taskmaster, Champion of Champions. Yeah. Macy's UK tour starts in September 2026 called What a Face and you can get your tickets at maizeyadam.com I'm going to go see it. Yeah, and you can listen

to Maisie and Susie Ruffles Football Podcast, Big Kick Energy Love that title wherever you get your podcasts but first listen to this one and if you're watching it on YouTube please subscribe and if you're listening to it subscribe as well if you haven't already

what you're playing at? Come on. Enjoy. Got lives so busy. It takes two seconds. Bye. Jingle, Jingle. So this is the jingle Jingle Jingle.

We hope you like the jingle Jingle, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadu, bao do bag, bagu, ba. Jingle. And the boy band are all demons. And the girl band are the demon hunters. Yeah. And everyone loves this boy band. I haven't watched the full film.

Sounds like you've washed a lot of bands. Sounds like you're fucking in it. It sounds like you've been to several screenings. Got the merch. you're singing the songs. I think you're like, I don't really know much about it, but I think the song goes.

Little soda, no, it's been around and all my friends. I think there's been a key change. The names of them. All my friends have got little girls who are obsessed with it. And they go to like now where we live,

they do like parties where people know how they used to do like frozen parties and all that. It's like K-Up demon. Oh my God, Halloween, you've got no idea. Yeah, you couldn't get costumes. Everyone was struggling to get costumes. Because what happened was, right?

Capeoc demon hunters came out and they thought it would not do as well as it has. So they didn't make enough stuff. The old buzz light year. Exactly. So there wasn't, it's like jingle all the way, all over again, isn't it? There wasn't enough stuff. Which is based on the buzz light year thing. Is it?

Oh, is it? Turbo man's based on, it's based on the whole Buzz Lightyer saga. Yeah. Can't get the toy. So nobody could get the outfits. So there was a lot of outfit swapping. It was like, when are you going to this party? We're going to swap and, yeah.

Oh, hey, a lot going on. You do know a lot. But it is based on K-pop, which is the Korean pop bands. Yeah. Yeah. Do you know that they all have to do a service in the army? Yeah. It's incredible.

The big boy band from the, BTS. Like they all had to take a break to do. Is it how long do you have to do? It's either two or four years. Like they have to do a full-on actual national subscription in their army. Wow.

Oh my God. Like, yeah, part of the law. I had a Greek boyfriend who liked to do that. But apparently... Will you shut up about your... Macy, every episode, every episode. The Greek boyfriend who did his national service. And what have you done?

Yeah, exactly. Well, I definitely... I'll tell you right now. I didn't, I didn't. I didn't. And you don't in the backstory, so this could go either way, but I didn't murder as many cats as him.

and I'll just leave that out there You can't leave that, we had to take that out of the pocket Did we? He murdered a cat. He murdered a cat. He put it out of its misery is what he did. But he told her,

she took it into a farm and let it room free. Is it your cat? No, I found it on the street. Okay. And it had been run over and literally half of this face was falling off. But I took,

I used to cycle home, so I lived to go to us for it. And I took the cat in my bag and tried to save it. Yeah. And he was like, I'm going to... Take it to the farm. I'm going to take it somewhere.

And someone. know somewhere that someone look after it. And I was like... And I think he killed. Well, I got told, there he got. But he wasn't actually my boyfriend. Just... Never official. Just... I was really lonely when I lived there.

Yeah. And he led me on massively. You wouldn't want to put a label on somebody like that, would you? You know, is they taking a cat out of the back to sit? You go, let's maybe not label it. Let's just see. We didn't stay in touch. Yeah. Nice guy, though.

He was lovely. Don't be nice. This is actually, ironically, I can. kicked off as the most we've actually mentioned them. I mean, fleetingly just, you know, anyway. Here's a question. Yes.

You're married, aren't you? Yeah. How long have you been married? Three years this summer. Nice. How long have you been together? 2018. What, together?

I thought you're going to see it 20 years. I thought. We met at the nativity. Just my maths is bad, so it's like eight years. Yeah. Oh, nice. Do you talk about exes in front of each other?

Yeah, like if it's relevant, I don't think I'm just like, start talking. Tell you who I'm miss. Yeah, it's just something that always comes up in our life because we know people who would never ever talk about exes. Yeah. I think that's odd. It's weird, isn't it? And we sometimes do because it's like that.

It's just part of my life. It's part of your story, yeah. You know, part of your story. But then there is people who we know, like friends of ours, who I have no idea. Like, all I know is them with their husband. And I'm like, who else? Or if somebody brings up their acts and you can see the partner get visibly uncomfortable. And it's like, that's funny.

They're not here now. Yeah, I know. I know. They don't, yeah. Although where we live. They weren't born and then handed to you. Yeah. They had a life before you.

Yeah. Where we live. They're probably at the school drop off where we live. It's such a small place. Very incestuous. My husband, when I met him, he worked in a cocktail bar. And that's how we met.

He was working as a week as in a cocktail bar? He was. He was working as a waiter. And you were going to see him. And we, oh, it's a running joke. I think he started his groom speech with that. But it's like working in hospitality, a bit like the comedy industry.

There's a lot of internal dating and stuff. And there was a good while when we first started dating. Like if we went to a bar, I could just tell by the way a waiter or a person behind the bar would be just like with Mike and I would go you've slept with her haven't you? Yeah and he'd be like yeah. Wow.

You can just tell. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you could just like. Okay. Yeah. It's like giving him his pikes. Yeah.

Just quickly spitting it, hand him it so you knew. But also there's just some few weird signs. But like, because they're all moving amongst the different restaurants and bars as well. Like there was a restaurant that opened and we were so excited to go and we'd got this table

and then the woman came over to take our order and she was like, oh, hey you! And he was like, oh, hello, are you okay? And I was like, yeah. And I was just watching it happen and then I was like, oh God, no one. And he's just like, yeah,

just what do you want for your starter? That's never happened to us. Has it? No. Do you get like, do you get nervous if you have to bring them up? No, we just, we wind each other up about it. Yeah.

And like whenever I mention it, I always say a God I miss them. Like I always, I always prefix it with God I miss them. And it's always, it's fine. It doesn't bother me in the slightest. None of mine were that bad. They were all quite cunning. Yeah. Yeah.

They're all. So Rosie had a massive, you won't know this, but Rosie had a massive kickoff that. Not a massive kickoff. That when we got engaged or when we got married, none of them, she wanted them to turn up and beg her not do it. Oh. Big ghetto blast her over their shoulder. Not a DM or nothing.

Not even like a... You want to be the one that got away to at least somebody. Always. At least one place. Turns out she was the one that wouldn't fuck off. They were looking at your wedding photos, go, finally. I actually think there's probably a lot of men in South Shields who go, like now that we do what we do, in the little go, she was a fucking nutter. About me.

I do. genuinely do. Like, oh my God. Right, I grew up watching Corrie all the time. And I think that sort of gave a weird, like, it misrepresented how common it was to have somebody crash your wedding and declare their undire. This is what I mean. This is what I mean. That really made me think, oh, this happens all the time.

This is the thing. There's even a bit when I was saying my vowels, I thought, any minute now. Yeah, someone's going to say it. That bloke from year 10 is going to storm through going, wait! Stop your wedding! So I always very loudly clear me throat At the, does anyone have any reason why the share? I just always...

It never gets forward now, does it? Just let them know I'm always on. I know I'm only there sat next year. Just let them know I'm there and it's what I do. Oh, are you sad? Wait, I'm going to a wedding next week. It's our friend's wedding. Are you good?

No. I love a way. It's my brother's wedding this Saturday. And I just, I love a wedding. I'm so excited. At the moment where they're every every month Oh see, okay, we've been past that

We passed that. We passed that a while ago. Yeah, we had five in a year. Oh, god, yeah. And the hens. Yeah. Oh. Dare I say it.

Dare I say it. I've got mates my age getting married now and I'm like, fucking grow up man. Like, what? What do you mean? I'm like, I'm annoyed. Like, I'm annoyed.

Like, I can't say it too. Well, he listens to the podcast, to be fair, but I've got mates getting married now and I'm like, really? I've got to go. Why? Like, we've done this. Everyone's done this.

Why are you doing this now? You've missed your chance. Yeah, but I'm like... We're nearly 40 now, so it's too old. But as well, it's my 40th this year, and I want to do a lot of things. He's got a stag do, and he's like, oh, it's my stag do. I'm like, fuck, what, I want to go and play golf from me 40? I imagine.

I imagine. I imagine. Oh, it'll be a few pints in a curry, I hope. Yeah. I'll not be involved in the Let's stay up until the earlier. Oh, I know who it is? I've just clicked. Yeah, yeah.

He listens to this. You know what? He's lovely. I love it, he religious. And you can't wait, can you? You can't wait for it. No, no, no. I'll tell you to your face.

I'm irritated by it. Well, good luck at that wedding is. Good luck. Got raining in, would you? All right, maybe take the out. Maybe take the last bit out. No, you beat your background, Tua, this is what this is. This is Tew-R-Cris.

Really? There's a question for you. What does it talk-ch-in-a-n-Tor-Kis? Oh, my God. Oh, Macy. Okay, are you like this, right? Because Tua-Cris is arrogant, selfish, demanding.

All the demands. Very, like, just expecting everything straight away. Normal, Chris, is actually alright. Can I just re-brand to her, Chris? He's confident. He's a go-getter. He knows what he wants. Yes.

He doesn't take any prisoners. He's arrogant. Well, I can already hear what my husband would be saying if he was sat with me, and it would be... Come on. Yeah, there's so kind of, like, baby sat on tour, aren't? Yeah. Somebody's there to, like, tell you what time to a...

They've got stuff in the... Order your food. In the green room for you. They turn the lights on when... And then they literally sometimes give you a little point to go on stage. Like you don't know. Like, well, the music's gone down and they've said... There's having him.

Yeah, the Mids go in and they're going, off you go. It's like it is no different to the teachers going, it's your line now at the school nativity when you're five. But I also think there's that thing of like when you're... Like, I don't know if you're... If you do your tour, same way, but like some people like to do it two, three dates a week and they'll be

touring for months on end. I'll try do mine like five, six nights a week. No. Get it done. Just get, yeah, like quite intensive. See, I'm the first iteration of that yeah. Only recently, only this tour. Yeah. When I first met you and you were tour and you are away all the time. But it then means when

you get that one day off, I think I can be quite like, this is what I want to do on my day off. Yeah. And I need to feel relaxed. I remember like, the first time I started touring, like, Mike, bless him, he'd book, like, you know, that restaurant we've wanted to try or that, um...

With his... Yeah, it's really weird. He was really specific about which waitress he was as well. Or like, I don't know, like, all that film that we wanted to go see, if you'd be like that. And actually, for the first few days off, I was like, that's nice. And then after like the fourth week, I was going, please don't book anything.

What I really want to do is sit on the safer in my slacks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And watch, like, a shite film. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he ate like a dirty male. Yeah. Oh, God, yeah. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, ba.

Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, ba. Listen, I have to ask you about your injury, right? I'm just obsessed with this. I heard it through the grade of buying. So you did the wrestling, the comedians, the clash of the comics, wrestling. Have you seen it? I saw it online a lot. And there's another person who hurt themselves really bad.

Yeah. Abby Clark's done her ACL. Right. Oh, my God, A. ACL. Yeah. That's bad. A year probably.

Can you stop? Tell us, though. Tell us about it. So for anyone who doesn't know, it's wrestling. It started at the Edinburgh Fringe years ago and they just decided to do like WWE style wrestling but with comics.

So it's all the trash talk and all that. But you actually do the stuff. Yeah, totally. So like I'd seen it at the Edinburgh Fringe and thought it was fantastic. It is, and they go really big on it because it's, well, it's wrestling. So it's really kind of like big characters, big music and sort of,

it's really silly. and I remember watching it up at the Edinburgh fringe and loving it and then they asked me to do it and like the process of learning was great how long is that process how much rehearsing and stuff because the first time it happened I remember thinking they've just cobbled this together

how has people got time? I think I did about six to eight weeks and like coming into London and doing a two-hour session with this wrestling like her name is Sam and she was absolutely fantastic like her wrestling name is Nina Samuels and she's like

I remember she was about five 5 foot 5, so she was a lot smaller than me. And the first time she and I, like, started some of the moves, I got it wrong and sort of elbowed her. And I was like, I'm so sorry, did I hurt you? And she just laughed. Wow. Yeah, you can't hurt me.

She was so, she was like 5 foot 5, but she could lift me and all of them. Yeah. Well, that's the thing, because people always say wrestling's fake. Wrestling is not fake. Wrestling is staged. Yeah, it's like, it's like saying dancing's fake. It's not, it's just choreographed. So it was like a dance routine in that, like, you know already if you'd

going to win or lose and they're doing, right, then you go here, then you do that. It's literally like a dance routine. And I loved the learning to do it and like learning all these different moves and learning all of these different kind of techniques. And it was like a really fun process to do. And then on the day, it was at the Apollo. And we were the first fight of the night. And I guess it's maybe just like adrenaline on the night as well, but all the moves felt,

felt bigger and harder. Is there an audience there? Yeah, yeah. 4,000 people sold out. Jesus Christ. And it was the last move where she basically like lifts me right up

and slams me on my back. Stop it. And we'd done like smaller versions of that and the advice was like don't like just wait till the day and do it because like it's gonna be painful. I'm saying this now and I'm like yeah probably should have practiced it more

but it was one that we'd practiced on a lower level but it was like on the day let's just do it. Classic, I'll do it on the night. Yeah, and it just put me up in the air, and I landed on my bat, and like, the moment I landed, I was like, that isn't good.

Did you land on a mat? No, just like on the floor of the streets. It's like a spring thing. I know, but it's not nice. It's sprung in the same way, like a ballroom dance floor. Yeah. It's still not something you'd want to land on your back on. So what happened?

And I remember thinking that I'm not good at it. And the ref came over and was like, squeeze my hand if you're okay. and there's 4,000 people there, so I was like, squeezed his hand, got up and then, like, felt how hard it was to walk. But I knew I was like, the whole thing was that I'd lost. So I didn't really have to, like, act because I was hobbling off, like, looking dejected. Did you want to fiend? Well, I came off and said, oh, I need to see a medic.

I had sat onto this chair or I couldn't move. And then I knew I was going to pass out because the room started sort of like blurring and spinning. And so I was sort of trying to chat. And then the next thing, I woke up and I was on the floor and they'd like elevated my feet. Yeah, get the phone to the ambulance. And because it was London on like a Friday night, they couldn't get an ambulance to it.

Because they were basically going to, and she conscious, which I was now, is she breathing? You're going to have to just drive her to A&E. So I went to A&E. I had an x-ray. I remember the bloat. He x-rayed me from above and he was like, hmm. And then x-rayed me from the side and went,

oh yeah, there it is. And I'm just like, torn three ligaments in my back and I've been having physio for like the last 12 weeks and it was really rough because like your body's it's one of those things

I mean you were just saying that you've been under the weather with a cold and it's like that because you're kind of like you know when you start remembering how great your body was when it was 100% and you start being jealous of all the times that you could walk and it not absolutely kill and like

again about like days off from this mad job, my favourite way of like relaxing and kind of my thing that sorts my head out is playing football. Like that's my favourite thing. Yeah. To sort of switch off and I haven't been able to do that for like 12 weeks. It was just like really brutal and I probably don't ever want to wrestle again. Which was such a shame because it was such a good fun experience learning it.

But I've never had pain like it. There's so many things. So I find this job that we all do a bit insane, right? because we got asked to do a TV program and I don't want to dig out the TV program because it is it. I'm being careful with what I say because I don't want to dig people out. No, absolutely not. And you know what? It's up to everyone what they do.

But we got offered to do that right away it was like world's dangerous. The most dangerous roads. Oh yeah, that one. Have you done that? Yeah, I did it in Morocco. Yeah. Why the fuck did you do that? Our roads were really not dangerous at all. Oh, were they?

I've watched other people and been like, bloody hell. I think the one I watched it was Darwin and Ed Byrne and Ed Byrne, I think, and the one literally on a, on a, I said no, I was like, I won't even get in a helicopter. I think it's a real lottery which one you get because I have watched ones where they're on like a steep place. We're married and we're both. It's like, do you both want to go and do the most dangerous road of the world?

Yeah. And leave both your children. Where if it goes wrong, you're not here anymore. Absolutely not. Exactly. I'm just a wimp. And then you remember all of the things in the past where it's been like celebrities are just doing TV programs and they're really dangerous. What was that one?

The jump. Do you remember that? Ski jump one. Yeah, where they all broke their legs. Yeah. You want to come and break the legs, and all of this. And it was like, yeah.

So some of them, I think they go too far. Yeah. I think they go too far. And I think it's like, it's like they're not, they're just set up to fail. Yeah. Like, do you want to learn a massive ski jump?

Absolutely not. In what world is some reality star going to absolutely nail a ski jump? Yeah. Which is only ever done by people who've been doing it since they were like nine. Exactly. Under professional coaches and stuff.

It's insanity. Can you remember, do remember when dancing on ice first started? That's a similar one. such a core memory of, I was being babysat when I watched it, that's how long ago it was. Wow. And I was like, I'd stayed up to watch it and Bonnie Langford was swung round by her feet in training. And she bashed her head. And I was like, she's, with all respect to Bonnie Lanford, she's too old to be like, being flung round.

Yeah. And her head and her head. Maybe it was something. No, it was something. It was something where you were like, that's not something you just walk off and go, oh, be all right. Put a wet paper towel on it. I'll be fine.

One second, Maisie, sorry, your chin's on your head. Carry on. I meant like the top of the head or a chin. It is like, there's definitely certain TV companies or like shows where they're like, oh, it'll be fine. It'll be fine. And if they die, it's content. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean? Everything's content. It'll be fine. Make it into a reel. It'll get reviews. I'm such a wimp. Hashton for you, page. It is all good.

Tort and praise. That's a phrase. Oh man. You're on tour. It starts in September. It does. What her face. Oh, I love that.

Water face is good. I thought it was a good. That's really good. I thought it was a good title. Very northern. Yeah. What's her face? And it's all like kind of,

it's what you say when you can't remember somebody's name. Yeah, I love that. I like that. And then I did, you know, those, you know, when you do those days to sort of like chat to different radio stations to plug your tour.

Yeah. Two of them were like, we've got comedian Maisie Adam on after the break. She's going to be here talking about her new show. What's her name? I was like, it's deliberately about being unable to remember someone's name. Ironically, you've forgotten the word for when you forget someone's, oh, never mind. There's nothing worse than having to go on and explain your show dead quickly.

I can't bear it. When you've got 30 seconds and they go, so what's it about? And you're like, at the moment, it's about two pages of material that might work. Because what you have to do is come up with the title, a good year in advance of going on tour and they go, what's it about? Because they want it to be about something. Yeah, it's got to have an narrative.

What's it about? What's it about? It makes me really feel sorry for like, musicians must get sick of that. What's this album about? You must want to go, I've just made some sounds that sounded good in the studio and picked the best 12 and put them on an album.

But instead you have to go, well, it was about a breakup and then it was about life. Have you seen the new take that? documentary? No. Did you like to take that? Back in the day. Yeah.

I was more Robbie. Right. I was born in 94 so I kind of Yeah like because I think you had to be a teenager in the 90s to love take that

whereas I grew up with Robbie being a heartthrob but I didn't know he was in a boy band until much later. Oh wow okay so my sister loved take that and I was, I'm like three years younger than my sister

So I knew who they were, like them, like their songs, but I didn't fancy them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I love what I'm... You respected the art, right? Honestly. Yeah. It's like the way they're dressed. Yeah.

But obviously I love them. And then other boy bands came about that I was a lot more obsessed with. Which ones were obsessed with? Five. Five. Yeah. Five. Scott from Five listens to this.

Does he? Yeah. He might not now. We're used to. He listened. She lost it. and found out, yeah, it was good. Can you imagine?

Yeah. Is that who you, when you think you want people to burst through and go, don't marry it, it's not the Greek boyfriend. It was from five. It was 19-year-old Scott from five. Still with his gelled hair. Stop. Pick me.

Him or Gareth Gates? Oh my God. The hold Gareth Gates had on me. Oh, really? Yeah, he was lovely one. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, God.

So good. Who did you like fancy when you were a kid? Jet from gladiators. Jet from gladiators was a good one. Jet from gladiators. Me and me, mate, were obsessed with Jet from Gladiators. No. No.

Really? Yeah, no. Jet from Gladiators. I remember, me, my mate, were obsessed with Jet from Gladiators. But the two, can you remember the two? Yeah. It was Jet and Lightning. Yeah.

The two ones. And we used to just, like, obsessed at the school playground. I've never told you this. We used to obsess about Jet from Gladiators. And then he decided that, because I was blonde at the time and he had brown hair, that he was. jet. His girlfriend was jet and I had to have lightning. This

thought process, I've had that thing with me and my friend really fancied Zach and Zach from Saved by the Bell and Mario Lopez, what was it? Slater. Slater. Yes. Oh my God. I was blonde as a kid so I'll have Zach. You can have. Well, as the person who

had the other one forced on us as well, fuck you. Because that is really upsetting. He was like, and now I look back at and thought it was a lightning and I think, literally he turned and ruled me was like, no, love. No, not for me. Sorry, love. You'll have to join the queue, lightning.

Back off. Back off lightning. I loved, I loved Zach from here by the bell. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. And it admired how much when you're a kid, how much you're fancy boys. I think it's because you don't really know what it is that's happening. Like the chemistry, and so you're just like, oh, I really, really like that person. I'm just going to invent a life with them.

and it's definitely like just I was so convinced at age eight that I would end up marrying Zach from safe by the bell it's tragic in it although there is some people go like crazy crazy crazy I was never that bad I was never that bad

I had to do a hotline man when take that split or I was a boy's own when one of the bands split up they had to actually make a hotline but that teenage girls could ring because they were so upset about it yeah wow

I felt a little bit like that when Zane Malik left one direction. Oh, were you a one-day fan? Oh, really? Massive one-day fan, yeah. Wow. I feel like you would have been a bit too old. Were you not a bit too old for that?

Did I go and see them live for my 21st birthday present? Yes, I do. Okay. No, I like it. It's not weird because they're the same age. It's a genuine pursuit. There's a chance. There's a chance.

Zach Morris lived in a different country and crucially it wasn't real. That's in the character. Yeah. Whereas... More attainable? Yeah. Yeah.

Who was your favourite, Ian? Yeah. Nice. Yeah. You met any of them? Yorkshire. Yeah. Duns Socorade with Liam and Louis.

Yeah. Yeah. I think I played it cool. Did you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Nice. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Oh good. That's good. Yeah.

I don't really remember. I'm mentally sort of fizzing with, oh God. Oh God, I've sung all your songs at your concerts But here I am going So do you split your time in here? Where'd they play? Are you on the wing?

Yeah. It's only then you. I know. And also like if you ever told 21-year-old music When she was at a One Direction concert Like, oh, you'll one day, technically working with them. What will that conversation look like? It'll be me going, do you think you'll play centreback or on the wing?

This is similar. This sounds similar to when me and my friend Kelly met Stephen Tompkinson. What? Literally. How did that come about? So we do a charity a charity thing in the North East called Sunday Vasami

and he's been doing it obviously for a long, long time and it's like one of the founding sort of people. And I grew up, Washington seemed like loved him forever. And we met and he was there. We went for drinks after. because we were doing back and singing in this thing. And it was 4 o'clock in the morning. And obviously, loads of people had left

and we were the only one's there. So we had a really big chat with her. And I remember the taxi hall we were just like dying at ours. It's so weird, isn't it? I was like, mad it was. But also like how, how, well, I was just like, I can't believe we've just had. It's fun because, isn't it?

Because you can't marry up the person that they were to you, the person that they are now. It's wild. I've got a friend who, like, she's in musical theatre. She's in some really good productions. And she was in one with Richard Fleshman, the actor. Oh, yeah. He used to be Craig the Goth in Corrie.

Right. And the whole Craig the Goth had on me, like, when he moved to Berlin and Rosie Webster didn't go with him, I was like, I'd have got on the train with you, Craig the Goth. And then, like, my friend's just like, oh, yeah, you know, we're in this production together. And internally, I was like, can you ask him this? Can you ask him that?

And I'm like, absolutely. It does. Yeah, I had like a poster of him on my wall. Which is weird because it's not like, he wasn't like one direction. He was Craig the Goth. He's a handsome guy. But it's weird to have Craig the Goss on your wall.

Where did they sell the posters? What a niche poster. Yeah, I know. Did you make this poster? I might have made it. I'm just going to draw Craig the Goth and put it on my wall. I imagine you got a TV magazine with a very small picture of him

and went into some kind of printing place. Can you make that do you want? Can you blow this up to life size? Back in the day, no, like soap stars were pretty, They were. Pretty big. Oh my gosh. Jamie for me, Stenders.

Yes. What was the one before? Adam Rickett? Yeah. Breathe again. Oh, I loved it. I was solidly in all that shit. Like, that was well,

when I did it, I did it, there was this panel show that they did on Channel 5 for a bit. I can't remember what it was called. Was it called? It's not me, it's you. Eamon Holmes hosted it.

And Vicki Patterson was a team captain and Kelly Brute was a team captain. And I was on. I ended up doing like five episodes of it. And they got Jet the Gladiator on as a surprise. Okay. For me, because it was like asking about stuff. I had an arm wrestler.

No. It was like, oh, Chris was obsessed with you. Chris absolutely loved you. And she had to come on the friend because she was a gladier. And I had an arm wrestler in the middle of the thing. Oh, my God. Did you tell your friend, do you, you had to deal with him? I phoned him from the dressing room, and I got out to speak to him on the phone.

And he lost it. Oh, God. Yeah. It is weird, isn't it? Yeah. It is weird. And I beat her in the arm wrestle, and I said, it's your fault. Why did you be there?

Well, yeah. She was dead, can he? But I said it's your fault. This arm's so strong. Oh, God. Oh, God, I didn't know you were going with that. I've just lit my finger. That's a fair.

He's getting your magic. Sorry. I'm going to do this story, Macy. Yes, absolutely. If you don't mind. But before we do it, I'm going to do a really big cough. Okay. Sorry, cover you.

Oh, it's a good one. That was a good one. Is it cleared out? Yeah, it's something about the fact that she's a good singer or something. The volume on our coughs. and the breath she takes beforehand. I do like a cough. Yeah.

The breath beforehand makes me think that she doesn't really need to cough. Yeah. You cough from the diaphragm. It's a classically trained cough. It is. And I didn't ever notice that. She's got range.

She does five minutes of cough warmups. She does five minutes of cough warmups before the cough. That's the worst bit. I'm off my tits, by the way. I'm on my second dose of suitor fed. Oh. And I haven't had much to eat. Big night for you.

Honestly. Big night. Shit. Eyeballs, the size of golf balls. I blinked before when you were talking and I went a bit funny. That's the stories that people are going. You know when you worry about people going in South Shields? Oh, Rosie's a nutter.

It's going to be going, that Rosie Ramsey. Get her on the suitor first. Oh, that is. Yeah. All right, let's go. Dear Chris and Rosie, please keep me anonymous. You recently discussed a listener who got in touch about finding a very detailed spreadsheet on her boyfriend's laptop

chronicling every porn video he had watched in IMDB of porn. Yes. However, I know someone who found much worse in similar circumstances. My friend borrowed her husband's laptop to do some work and found a suspicious looking file.

On further investigation, she discovered that her husband had... Any guesses? Oh. I've got two possible guesses, but you can go first. No, I don't have... I'm left.

Right. So, I'm sorry. either. Nana porn. No. Jesus Christ. I actually actually think it's called granny porn. That's what I thought is granny porn.

Nana porn makes it feel like it's just going to be nice and comforting. Yeah, she's holding a cat. Yeah. Yeah. She's made a piece. Yeah, no, that's horrible. So I think he's either

it's X, X's weirdly what we've been talking about. X's rated or, and this is my actual guess, times that they've had sex together, rated. Have I got it? No. Right. I would die. Imagine. It's actually in quite a different vein. Totally unrelated. Don't ever look on my laptop. It's a small file. I mean, it would be. In the last, JOP, very small. Very small. You won't be worried about storage.

Yeah, no, I'll not be after an external hard drive anytime soon, no way. It's not even on the Cloud. But we still love each other. Yeah. On further investigation, she discovered that her husband had listed every single light and lamp in the house. The room each was in. What type of bulb it required? How many of that type of bulb they had in stock in the house?

When the bulb was last changed. And the estimated date when it would need changing again. She was so horrified by this discovery, porn would have been less disturbing. That's awful. That's awful? Controversial opinion, I think that's the hottest thing I've got to. Stop! I do.

I do, I'm sorry. It's a one for everyone. I love a spreadsheet. I am hugely impressed by that. I knew you would be. No, that would. That's an organised king right now. I'd leave.

No. No. No. No. That's, that's like, that he's going to kill you. No, because then when a light goes out, you're not having to get, oh, gone, we'll have to go to be in Q or what. have to get one on Amazon.

He's just there going, don't worry, darling. No, a little left raw. Missy, she's just such a hypocrite because we didn't have a bulb to go in one of the lights the idea and you were kicking off that we didn't have one. That guy. Yeah, but you know what I would find sexier? That to me is just absolutely not right.

But I would find it sexier if, like, say it was you, okay. If I knew you had that, ick, vile. But if a light went out and you got your coat on, you're like, I'm going to go to BMQ now and get that, I'd go, that's my hero. but the fact that he's got a spreadsheet and he knows. No, no, no, no, sorry, sorry, sorry, no.

Honestly, are you saying that? As soon as the light goes out and I'd hide me court and you would let me go straight to being cured to get a light bulb. You would let me leave the house. No, no, no, no, you would let me leave... There are the kids. No, other kids are in bed.

You would let me, tea time. So it's tea time, the kids are eating. You would let me quickly... You're full of shit. Because honestly, I'd be smashing light balls with hammers if I can get out of that house. You can't leave the house. There will go.

Can't leave the house. Okay. No, I just think. I just think... Right, okay. Maybe I'm... I'm living in the past. That's nerdy as fuck.

I don't find that sexy. I'm thinking of the columns, the room. Would Zach from Saved by the Bell do that? No, but that's the lazy of yesteryear, wishing for a... You've got to kiss a few frogs before you get your organised prints. I don't want Zach Morris

and his lack of bulb spreadsheets. Okay, fair enough. No, I get it. Oh my God. This is green flag. all the way. Yeah, no, it is. It's very sweet. But just do you think he's going to know where

your clip is? He'll have a spreadsheet telling him where it is. I'm sorry. He'll have a spreadsheet saying keep going for five minutes. He's so busy. Then move to the left. Can it? No, I hear them.

He'll have time codes. He'll have time codes of when to move onto each area. He's no. He's wrong. Right in the manual. Fair enough. I'll take your word for it.

We're going to end it there because we're never going to talk that. They're fucking screaming in the next room. Guys, I think it's a suit effect. Ask me another day. I'd probably be impressed. Wow. Maisie, thank you so much.

Thank you, guys. It's been an absolute pleasure to sit and chat here. There's a laugh, thank you. Oh, God. I laugh.