Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Please Keep Me Anonymous with Sara Pascoe

Episode Date: February 25, 2026

The brilliant comedian, podcaster and writer Sara Pascoe joins Chris and Rosie on today's Please Keep Me Anonymous. They discuss Book-Tok, coming to trends late, their first ever stand up kids and how life (and work) changes once you have kids! Sara also reads a very funny story from a SMA! You can catch Sara on tour with her show I Am a Strange Gloop, for tickets visit sarapascoe.co.uk/tickets Sara's podcast Weirdos Book Club which she hosts with Cariad Lloyd is available wherever you get your podcasts and you can even catch them in person at The Crossed Wires Festival. Visit crossedwires.live/podcast/weirdos-book-club for tickets If you want to get involved and have your stories and voice notes included on the podcast then get in touch! 📧: [e-mail] 📱: 07874 406650 You can watch the podcast on the Shagged Married Annoyed YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@shagged.married.annoyed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, you are listening to and watching Shagmary Anoid, please keep me anonymous. Part of the Shagmoud annoyed Multiverse saga. Sorry, we're busy watching all the Avengers movies. Yeah, making it part of a real life. Yeah, and this week we are joined by the fantastically funny and absolutely lovely Sarah Pascoe. Yeah, such a nice chat. When it literally looked at the clock and it would be in 40 minutes and I hadn't even noticed. Yeah.

And I love that. We do that thing where we'll read all of their notes and we research everything about them. and then we never have to use it because we just have such a good chat with them. No. It's brilliant. We're going to talk a lot about comedy what she's got going on. She is currently on tour in UK and Ireland

with a show I am a strange gloop and if you want to go see her it's Sarah pasco.com.com. That's Sarah spelled S-A-R-A just so you know. Is Sarah? Is it Sarah? No, no, definitely Sarah, yeah. But it's spelled Sarah, yeah.

Okay, good. She hosts the podcast Weirdo's Book Club with a maid Carriad Lloyd and it says it's a space. The Weirals Book Club is a space for the lonely outsider to feel accepted and appreciated. And they're joined by a guest each week to discuss a book that is special, stimulating and weird. Oh, I love weird books. Yeah, you do.

Yeah. The Weirdos Book Club actually will be at this year's Crossed Wires Podcast Festival. The live show is taking place on Sunday the 5th of July for tickets. Visit crossedwires.com. So there you go. So enjoy this wonderful chat. And please subscribe if you're watching this on YouTube. And if you're on one of your little podcast.

our subscribe as well. It just helps. It takes you a second. Why aren't you doing it? Why? We've discussed this. What are you badgering people for me? Sorry. Come on. Enjoy. Bye. We came last night.

He came from Aberdeen, and they didn't realise that we had to be in London, so Chris had to fly from Aberdeen. I came on the train on my own, which was actually... It was nice. I like being on a train. It was lovely.

I love it. I love being by myself. Yeah. So that was nice. And then we had a lovely early night last night, room service in the hotel. Lovely. A full night to sleep.

Yeah. Which is just such a pleasure. Well, it's why we go on tour. Oh, me. I don't blame you. I'm coming to London next week for. a meeting on my own. I'm glad that you have that too

because I swear it's just all the partying days are gone and all you're like I just can't wait to go back to my hotel room. Have a pot noodle maybe. You guys are like that now because you've just started your tour and you're with Carl

who's your best friend and Reese who's tour manager for years but I remember getting texts at like two or three in the morning saying night night there's been none of them Chris. No. My excuse is to be just too wired

after a show, you can't go to bed. You need to sort of like, now you're like, yeah. Can you now? Can you fully? Half of Irish traitors and they're, who doesn't that wired at all? They've done it on Iplayer because everyone said it was so good. Oh, God, okay.

I tell you what's really good about it. Number one, the money is low. Right. 50, I want to say 50 euros, 50,000 euros. Okay. But where I'm up to, they've only won 20,000 euros. So if you're splitting that, it's not. It's got that popped windows.

Right, okay. And they chose three really bad traitors at the beginning. And it's just so enjoyable for that. You've just got into traitors. I've only just got into it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I saw you on, you're on Ed Gamble's saying how you'd only just got into it. Yeah.

A lot of us were tossing at you. We had a really big argument about that. Absolutely. Because I was literally like, I don't think you should be doing this, because people take this seriously and you can't just go up and be like, oh, ha, ha, oh, no. And also, sometimes what happens is, if everyone else is into a thing and talking about it, it makes you not want to get into it.

So it's good for someone to say, I wasn't, I just started, it's great and people to hear that. Yes. Yes. You're like that with everything. Chris will not watch something. I will, if I'm told more than three times to eat something, go somewhere or watch something.

I will absolutely avoid it as much as I can. Then I'll get in after everyone else and then I'll become the CEO of that thing. This is such a comedian trait. Yes. With contrarians. It's like, don't tell me what I'll like. I'm not like other people. You're all the same.

I know. I'm really looking forward to Breaking Bad. have you heard it's fantastic. That's the wire and the wire and Sopranos. I've got all of those to look forward to. Oh my God, you've not watched any of them. Are you joking? I'm going to do them now and no one's talking about them anymore.

And then talk to people about it as if it's a thing. As if I've just discovered this little known show. Now, do you. I'm jealous. I did it with Breaking Bad. Did you? Breaking Bad is the one show where I invented something that cannot be done. That is impossible.

But I have invented it. And when it does come out somehow, I'm going to say that was my invention. A pill that you take while you're watching the show so that you forget the show so you can watch it again. Like a forget-me-now in the rest of development. Is that a thing? I think it's, I think it's for hypno, but they call them Forget Me Now.

I just remember that story like, yeah. Yeah, it's like, re-hypno in yourself. So it's like, just kidding your short-term memory. Yeah, mine's got to be, it's got to be more of a black mirror vibe. I think there needs to be some kind of technology in it. I need a pill. Or men in black vibe. Yeah.

Yeah. That I can take. Watch like you say surprise. I'd love to forget, Breaking Bad. I've watched it about four or five times. I have you. But I did that with Breaking Bad.

Everyone said you've got to watch the show and I was like, ugh. And then yeah. And then I became, I mean, I've got the art. I bought artwork from the show. I wore clothing from the show. I'm the opposite me.

I'm like, everyone loves it. I'll watch it. I love to just be guided in the right direction. I think that's healthy. You're the normal one. Because then you can join in conversations. I don't know what it is about, I'm sure it's not just comedians,

but there's definitely something about us as a species that goes, oh, everyone's talking about it, not interested. I'm into my thing. I get that way. Panini stickers. Or just have something that makes us feel interesting and unique. So would you not, so like if I'm going on holiday and I want to get some books, I will Google like best books of the moment.

Would you not do that? I would, but wouldn't you just, you get like a sponsored ads now? You can't trust anything. True. I actually get most of my book recommendations from TikTok, which is tragic. Speaking of you do it. I think TikTok, book talk is amazing. Yes.

And it's sort of saving a, you know, failing industry. Well, I like Book Talk. Yeah, book talk's amazing. It makes everything accessible. Nothing's, and also there's no, like, embarrassment. Like, you know, they're really into, like, vampire stuff and romance stuff. There's no snobbery about enjoying things. I think lots of people get put off reading.

Yeah. Carriad and I have a book podcast. I know. No, no, no. Yes. It's here. Yes. Weirdos book club.

That's you and Carrie ad Lloyd. And the important thing for us is just can you have a conversation about it? Do you want to put it into someone's hands? Yeah. Because that is the thing. And also there's nothing worse than starting a book and going, oh God, it's so long. Would you persevere? Would you persevere?

I wouldn't. I would just go, no, thank you. If we've booked the author on the podcast. Imagine that. Imagine that. Imagine. Well, on the podcast. couldn't get past the first couple of pages

tell me what it's about thanks for coming on in McEwen I didn't really get into it is it a good ending does it pick up Are you happy with it? Yeah that's the way Or what people say after gigs

Did you enjoy yourself? Hey, must be tough getting up there That's the worst one Must be tough getting up there I once had a man right to me And this makes you sound like a terrible comedian I'm just interested Do they all go like that

Stop Do they all go like that? Yeah. Weirdly, I don't, he didn't mean it in a nice way, a bad way. Didn't mean it in a nasty way. What he meant was, how, how if they always go like that? And I was, it was jonglers in Camden. Oh, that's, yeah.

So it was fine for me to go, no, they don't normally go like that. I wouldn't, I wouldn't be able to do it seven times a week if that was what I was going out to. Was it a good gig? Jonger's Camden was never a good gig. It was just flat. It wasn't like I didn't get torn to shreds. I was tolerated for 20 minutes. Which in some ways is worse.

This is, stand-up comedy blows my mind right. Because I love stand-up comedy. I don't go out to say it often enough and I really want to go watch more. But like I just don't understand people who go and they're like, make me laugh. Because I will go and even if I don't find anything that funny, I will laugh because I think there's someone up there,

you know, selling their soul. trying to make everyone like, no one's happening. I will be the one sitting there going, I think most people do that have that attitude. Especially like my early gigs, let's say. I was telling someone about my first gig the other day. What I saw in people's faces is that it's more painful for them to watch you struggling than it is for you.

They look at you like, please be fine. Please don't be upset about this. And then what you see is like human beings are genuinely invested in each other. The live experience means they do. They come out because they want it to be good. I've got a thing where. I cannot comfortably enjoy a show if the person on stage is not comfortable

or confident in themselves. I will hate that. Rosie takes it too far. Rosie can't, you know, like someone like, who does the comedy of awkwardness. She can't.

Yeah, I find that hard actually. Rosie needs it to be belt and braces, jazz hands, own the room. Keep your have on God. Yeah,

she can't have anyone who's a deliberate a fuck up that's built in. It makes a really uncomfortable. I'll give you an example of someone. I'm talking something about someone who's a genius level, so we're not criticising them. So Paul Foote has a thing with his body.

Yeah. Where it's like his body is trying to escape the stage and he's sort of like dragging it back. And I always just wouldn't. I wouldn't. No, it doesn't. It makes you quite anxious. Yeah.

It's the exact opposite. Like someone's strutting around. And then once I saw a gig and, you know, I think he's so amazing. He is so amazing. This isn't a criticism of a comic. But there was, it was a provincial gig and they didn't go for him. And so he did 45 minutes extra.

sort of taming them into submission and they did go eventually because he had this bit at the point do you remember when Paul Fitt had this bit where you used to go who's the killer I'm the killer over and over and over again

really really really off the wall but there's a world for it though just because I don't enjoy it's very successful this is what I'm saying it's just not my cup of tea but I think that comes from like acting he side and if somebody's not confident on stage

even if they're acting or if they're singing I'm just like but it happens you know when people try and talk about trauma. Yeah. Which again, there's a wide spectrum. There's a difference between someone talking about something they're fine about now,

an ex-boyfriend from six months ago, and it's so funny, you know, how sad you were at the time. And then someone talks and they still are a bit sad. Yeah. And again, it's that thing where you go, you're not ready. You're not ready. We can't laugh with you yet. This isn't healed. It's really sad.

That's really odd because I sport a roommate of mine the other day who I hadn't spoke to. Someone, I worked with him, I hadn't sported them for ages. And I spoke to him, and it had been like two years. And he was like, oh, just so you know, I've split up with my wife, we're busy getting divorce. It's fine. It was two years ago. I'm fine now.

But for me, it just happened. Brand new. So I was like, ha, listen, and he's like, it's fine. It's all, but. I was like, what? He was like, no, you need the, it's fine. I was like, okay. So I had to go through two years of healing in like five minutes.

I can't believe you need that man's divorce about yourself. So what shocked you so much that you thought that they were just going to be forever or just how painful that must be for their family. It was just everything. Yeah, it was just everything in one goal. Like your kids, you're this, you that. And you get your situation and I had to just, I had to catch up on it in like five minutes.

And were you like, did you meet someone else? What was like Justin to? Crazy man. Here's a question. So we started, we started 2007. We started exactly the same time. I know, which means we're coming up to our 20 years. Yeah.

Oh my God. 19 years this year. Yeah. It's unbelievable. It's gone fast, right? You suddenly, you go from being the youngest person in the room. Yeah. To be really old.

I walked around the Edinburgh fringe this year with my son and I didn't know anyone on any of the posters. Oh, the conversation you and Susie Ruffel had the other day was sad. Yeah. They were both just like, I don't know anybody, do? Don't know anyone. I don't know anyone. Well, the thing I really like is that,

so I did a work in progress at Monkey Barrel at midday. Nice. And I felt like, Steve was doing the pleasant. So that's what we were up there for the month. Sorry, yeah, but you don't need a... Sarah Paso doesn't need a flash up for the posters. Everyone knows that.

I used to go to and I was coming back to visit and I saw someone on the meadows and I won't say who it was, but someone who was doing the full month and, you know, he's on an ascendancy and she was so stressed and it's so funny being so far evolved out of it and I'm going, oh yeah, I remember

when I was doing my GCSEs. Oh, yeah, oh, the revision, yeah, oh, bless her. Wow. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babo, babo. How did your first ever good goal? It was, it was, I got drunk, I couldn't imagine it happening, so I kept thinking it wasn't going to. They said I was in the second half and I was sitting on the side of the room on a stool, watching it, drinking my glass of wine thinking it's fine, so I'll just go in the interval.

I cannot imagine standing at the front from, I can't imagine him saying my name and me walking up there. And then when I didn't leave in the interval, because I didn't want to get told off by the man, I thought, I thought, he'll say my name and I'll just shake my head and go, no, no. Oh, no. Oh, dear. Yeah. And then what he did was he said my name and he said it was my first gig. You know, there's 12 people in the audience. And weirdly, what, because I had wanted to be an actor for a really long time,

what happened I felt was like the click that happens when you're in a play, which is suddenly your body is filled with something and you cope with it. Yeah. And so it all came out. Nobody laughed. And I say that because if anyone's listening, he wants to do comedy, don't be a perfectionist about it. Just first of all, see if you actually enjoy standing up at the front of the room,

look in the opposite way to everyone else. Yeah, yeah. So I can't remember anyone laughing, but I can remember people smiling at me like, we're not your enemies. That's nice. And then when I came out, I felt like I jumped out of an airplane

and I was like, this is what I'm going to do forever. I just found my thing. And then you get addicted to that feeling and it's an addiction for the rest of your life. Everybody said that. Yeah. All the comics that we've had on has said that.

How was yours? See, this is what I, because when you met, you touched on it there, because you mentioned earlier on when you were talking about the guy who'd messaged you, I was extremely lucky. and my first gig.

It was the dog and parrot in Newcastle. It was normally like that. I went and watched two shows before I went. That's good research. There was 12 people in the crowd. And some people were dying on that, down on their hole. I turned up from mine,

and there was a student on doing something to do with his course. There was two cameras there, these mates filming, and there was about 60 people in the room. Oh, right. Okay. And I, instead of being terrified, I was more excited that there was more people. And I've always worked on, like, I call it the half laugh rule.

If only half of the people laugh, that's a big laugh. That's 30 people laughing. So someone goes, me, what's where? Is little venues worse or big venues? I go, big, little venues are worse. Because if I've got 4,000 people and 2,000 are laughing, and half of them are laughing, sorry, that's 2,000 laughs. So I went on and inexplicably, it was incredible, incredible. But I don't think that is inexplicable because you've,

excited to see them. I think honestly that's half of it. Do you think? Yeah, a dog wagging their tail at you. That is such an amazing review of my first gig. It was a dog, not to do it. But to go back to what you were saying, like, all the time I'm reading other people's emotions, you're watching someone up there who's scared and nervous and needs you to like them. That's hard work for us as an audience. Someone who's like, hi, I'm just so glad to be here. You're like, oh, thank you. Put it east. Nonverbally, you just subconsciously think, oh, thank God for that. They want to be here. And they're such a wonderful thing. And I think that. Honestly, it is the thing about going, oh, this is what I should be doing.

Even from that very first one. And again, I think for anyone listening who wants to do stand-luck, because I do think everyone should do it. And I don't think anyone should feel excluded from it ever. Going to watch a new material night is so different. I would never have done it if I hadn't. There was a boy that I knew that I was, like, dating a little bit, and he was doing stand-up comedy.

And I went to watch it, and it was men in pads doing bad jokes. And I was like, oh, I can do that. Whereas if you just see Jack D or, you know, Dimmor-a-more. Yeah, yeah. Then you go, God, how do they remember it all and how does they get there? You have to see the rudiments right at the beginning to go, oh, that's what it looks like when you've had an idea and you say it. And also the fact that you can say a joke that doesn't work and no one dies.

Like we all survive it. And that is part of it, you know. It is really interesting. I just honestly think that if I wasn't, I don't know, you've kind of, you've weirdly, I've always believed this, but you've kind of put us off it a bit. You've put us off me belief. You've turned us the other way. I've often said if I hadn't turned up on that night with all of the,

then people there and I'd gone on it had been 12 people and I'd die I don't think I'd have went back Well it's interesting then because Rob Beckett's

got a very similar story like they really laughed at his first gig yeah the excitement was oh my God I'm good at this yeah whereas for me

in terms of staying with it maybe it's different kinds of comedy or craft but it was when I did my first gig to silence which you might never have had but I had a real no no no I've done that

okay because that for me was so huge it was a hack the empire tryout and so for that that competition you know I knew like

lots and lots of comics had gone to the final of that show and it's just one it's just like a tryouts and then a final right and on before me was a dog jumping up at a balloon so there's a man god that's my act the one who's got talent and that's it so I was watching it thinking oh god if they like this dog that much imagine how much they like my stuff about bagel guillotines

and um and that was that was I had a bagel guillotine back in the day did you I did it's lots of fun and so I was looking forward going on and then it was just very, very flat because I'd followed a dog with a balloon. Yeah, of course. But I went home on the train and I was writing up the gig and reflecting on the fact that, wow, I can't imagine it going any worse than that.

And yet I still just want to do it again tomorrow. And that's when I knew it was my job. That's lovely. I love that. It's so odd because it really takes. I need to talk about a gig where someone laughed though. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no.

We're going to cut it now. You've never had one. We all know this. It takes so many years of experience to realize that going on after the dog jumping on the balloon is a fucking nightmare. Or music. When they say to you, when they say to you, we're doing a gig and it's going to be a bit of mime, clowns,

some Berlusque and a band and then a comedian. And you go, oh, that sounds really fun. Yeah. Yeah, you don't realize. You don't realize. No. Oh, my God. I followed Belesk a couple of times at sort of like festival nights,

you know, like in Spiegel tents around the world to realize. You can't follow Belesk. They can't see a woman looking incredible in her underwear and then see a woman fully dressed. Men are pieces of shit, aren't they? Who's not going to do? Yeah, exactly. Who's not going to do?

Okay, yeah, hands up. All of you. Disgusting. Right, you are, are you on to her now? Yes, yeah, until the end of March. Just the last little bit, actually. Nice. I am a strange gloop.

Yeah, because I couldn't call it, I'm a tired piece of shit. Because you know you have to name a show, months and months and months, before you're out. doing it and I couldn't imagine at that point how I was going, my brain was going to work. Neither of my children sleep through the night. The hilarious thing is when I was naming my show 18 months before the tour started, which is two and a half years before now, I thought, oh,

actually my, yeah, my son's two and a half the baby. Do you think you'd be all right? I just thought, well, I'll have to write new material when they sleep through the night. And how old are they now? My eldest just turned four on Sunday. Nice. And then the other one's two and a half. Oh my God. But there's just two boys and we, we've got a mattress. At the moment, we've got a mattress on the floor in their room. Wow. Because they just come and find us. Just let them in. Let them in. Let them in. Let them in bed.

Buy a bigger bed. Oh, I got the biggest bed I could buy. Yeah. It's, it's an emperor's size. It is, it is a really big bed. It's just that one of us has to be getting some sleep. Magical. I'm so jealous. Do you remember the bed? Can you remember the bed I sent you? I found a bed online. Yeah. It was like two king-sized beds put together. And she was like, no. I was like, we need it.

Yeah, we need a family. You have to like, you have to like, you have to order the sheets. with the bed from that company because nowhere does them. Oh wow, so that's even bigger than ours. I didn't get it. I didn't, she wouldn't let us get it. And then when your kids are doing Sharpie all over them, you're like, oh my God. We're past that now, so the 10-year-old is now in his bed,

which is great. Yeah, but it takes a decade is the thing. It takes 10 years, it's took 10 years, and we just gave up. We were like, just come in, doesn't matter. Everyone's sleeping. They're coming, but they still don't sleep. There's chatting.

Oh, no. Theodore is so obsessed with me, and I don't say that in an arrogant way, no one's ever liked me this much in my life. He just wants to wait me up To tell me his secrets You know To ask me questions

Does Father Christmas have a skeleton Oh What in his body are like He's just Halloween And then Christmas would like Just like one after the other And he was like hang on Does Father Christmas have a skeleton?

Like that kind of thing And sometimes he likes to use my head as a pillow It's like he would like to crawl inside my skin Yeah And so it's all disruptive It's not like they just come in and then sleep Okay I get what you mean.

So my youngest is also a little bit obsessed with me, which is amazing. But like you say, at 4 o'clock in the morning, I can't bear it. But he's only, when he had his dummy, he had his dummy to lose about three. Well, my four-year-old's still got a dummy. We're negotiating this currently.

It's really hard. The clinginess stopped a little bit once the dummy went. I think the dummy was because he used to pull my hair. So he would play with my hair all night. And it was, I think I was being tortured. Yeah. I honestly think I was being tortured by my child. And he makes you so grumpy with them.

And they don't care and they don't understand tiredness. To the point where, like, at some point, I would grab his hand and just be like, putting it down. Like, you're just kind of like, get off me. Also, it's the sound of the dummy because that's what's hard for me with Theo. Yeah. All night long. In my ear. And I said to him, I'm finding, mommy's finding it really hard because Mommy really hates that sound.

And then I go to the bottom of the bed. So I lay across this mattress sideways. and then they both come and look for me they both come and look for me. Yeah, we did that. They're such dicks, aren't there? They don't care? They're so selfish.

Seven o'clock this morning, my first time I shouted today because Theo was licking the dog. And I was like, I did not, what are these shards? He got seven of them on, because he stopped licking the dog. It's insane, isn't it?

We've got two boys as well. Sorry, what part of the dogs are looking? His face and ears. Look at the dog's face and ears. What kind of dog is it? He's a Jack Russell. Or it's half Jack Russell, half Springer. And it's because Theo really...

So we talk quite coarse hair. Yeah, it's horrible and disgusting. But it's because Theo finds it really funny when the dog licks him. This morning he was going, I'm a dog. I'm a dog. Licking. It's like, so we start the day. Oh, it's horrible.

And also the punching each other and all of that stuff. So in the night, this is the problem with them all in the same bed. They fight each other. They find each other and they find that really fun. Anyway, so yes, I'm writing a show about how much I'm loving parenting. So magical. Yeah. But no, it's...

We're kind of not, we're not fully out of it. No. But we're at the other end and it does get a lot easier. Yes. It does. But now I hate myself right because I've wished it away so much. But now that my eldest is 10 and I can see him slipping away, I'm really sad. And I'm devastated.

It is really sad. But what a head fuck. One absolute head fuck of it's really hard for all of these days, for all of these years. And then all of a sudden they're gone and you're just left. As soon as it starts getting easy, you're going to miss it. Like, what? It's like a practical joy. It is.

I also think the thing that you can't understand before you have children, and by that I don't really have to have them biologically. I think it's like, you know, the children you look after. Yeah. That what nature does really cleverly and what you can't prepare for is that there's nothing of you left. It's the devotion to them. That's how they survive. Yeah.

That's the thing that's exhausting. That you can't just, you know, you can have a night in a hotel room. Maybe you can get some sleep. Maybe you've got really good supportive family and childcare. But essentially, you are obsessed. with them. You're still thinking of them. I walk up at 6 o'clock.

Depletes you. Yeah. And then at some point they don't need you as much anymore. And then that's what you feel is. What do you do? It has all been about you. Oh, I'm going to be terrible.

I know I am. I think you'll actually be worse than me, which is saying something. I think you're going to just buy loads of dogs. I think, yeah, dogs, pets, weird hobbies. Oh, all the weird hobbies. Oh, my gosh. Have you?

Like instruments and stuff. No, no. Brazilian jihitsu and golf. Oh, wow. Golf's amazing. And I did bike guy for a while. I was Mr. Cycle and I went obsessed. They're very healthy things to do.

Warhammer for a little while. Yeah, yeah. But it'll get worse. Yeah, I think so. It'll be everything. Yeah, but I think people just like, you'll be speaking Korean. You'll just have this like...

Well, well, I did hear the other day that there was a hole, and this is exciting. Yeah. And Rosie doesn't know about this yet. I've actually been saving this. I'm like, let's all just look at Rosie's face when I say this. Well, I love a news story. She's not going to love this.

Oh. There's a whole flight simulator community. where they do flight simulators, the games, but you can get a replica cockpit built in your house. It's rosy, it's apparently indistinguishable from a real cockpit. No, because that good room just went down the train. Well, the good room's fucked. I imagine if that's the next Instagram post.

After all of you're lovely, we've got the wallpaper, we've got the lights in. And there's a culprit. We're being cruising out of an attitude. He's going to just scimpass Chris and he's in his cockpit. I love my headphones. I'll have me, man. We haven't spoke about it for a while because it's being moved because we've got a new studio and it's like just next to the studio.

But we have had a pool table come dining table that has followed us around for 11 years and I hate it. I hate it so much because it's not nice. It's just, you know, Chris bought it before we met. No, no. We got it when we're together. Oh, I must have been very. very,

it was very early. It was early. I mustn't have had much to you. Yeah, I was just like, oh my God, this is great. You know the first where you pretend to be laid back? Yes, yeah. Cool, girl. They called it like me now, don't they? Oh yeah.

Like me, pick me, like me. Pick me, that's what it is. Oh yeah, I think I was like, oh my God, this looks so great. This is just a, and you can have your friends around and play on it. Yeah, it's followed with it and I've allowed it, haven't? Which actually is good. I actually did say the other day that I might be ready to get rid of it and I thought she was going to cry.

Yeah. I actually thought. she was going to wait. That's a big moment. But if you're replacing it with a cockpit, this is what you're going to cover. That's the thing. You've already got a golf simulator,

if you don't tell you one, but the golf simulator has to now come everywhere. So how did you do that? Is that like a big screen? That's amazing. It's the best room ever. And so what? So what?

Is there like a chip in the golf? No, it's all real. It's all real. Real clubs, the same as you would use out on the thing. Yeah. But there's a massive sensor on the ceiling just next to the projector. And it reads all the physics of the ball. Yeah.

So you smash it and it hits the screen and the screen shows you were going down the fairway or in my case, left into the trees. Oh, okay, so you do need to practice. It does need to practice. But it's horrible, though, because sometimes, you don't know this, but sometimes when you're like,

just come and chat, it was when I'm on the sim. I want to die. When I have to just sit down and you just swinging golf clubs at the mattress, I'm just sort of like, this is horrible. Sorry, swinging golf club at the matter,

you're saying you're missing out of crack then. It's a mattress. It's a blow. It's not a bloat Marriss. With a screen in front, essentially it is. It's not, it's an unpacked screen. What uncool hobbies could you start, Rosie? I don't know.

That's why I mean you have to start one. You're obviously too cool now. I know. You need to do something. I always think it's very difficult for them to understand unless you show them an equivalent. Right. So maybe that's what you need to do.

I don't have time for hobbies. Have you got, this is a thing. I'm like, although I do, I do have one hobby. So I am still a part of the dramatic singing club that I joined when I was 15. So me and my friends have all grown up and had kids but we've gone back

and now we're in the committee like my best friend's chairwoman of this committee so that's like my little hobby. But yeah other than that I don't have anything. I don't, I watch real housewives. Yeah. That's like a hobby.

I'm trying to think of like a sport like curling. Could you get into curling? She's too lazy to have a hobby. I'm scared of flying kites. Oh no. Imagine that you in the garden. I don't have really. I wanted to do reformer yoga

really like Pilates but I can't be asked It's too cold It's mostly lying down That's why reformer Pilates is so great Okay I think even saying this I think someone will send you a free one

All right Rosie and because you do We get a little bit obsessed with it Because essentially you're like lying there going This isn't exercise This isn't exercise I'm just lying down And you can do it

You can't be bothered So is it you do with this by the I do sometimes yeah But the person I would say to watch It's like someone like Joanne McNally Yeah It really strengthens you without you sort of, I don't think your heart beats any faster.

Right, a lot of the time. Right. So you don't even break the wet. And then you start to get better at it quite quickly. So I think you do get a bit like, oh. You get better at lying down. Yeah. Right.

That's a summer one though. Because at the minute, up north, it's so cold. Yeah. In every way, no disrespect to all of the owners who own establishments. Oh, it's too chilly. It's fucking freezing. They're all like in like converted, bloody garages and all like these outdoor units. All right.

I don't want to see my breath while I'm doing stuff. No, no, you can't. Do you know what I mean? It's like, wearing a balaclava doing your reform yoga. It's like, S-A-S shit. And I'm like, this is not, I want it to be really warm. What about hot yoga then? I would love that, actually.

I don't have got any of that near us. There is any. There is one. Is there? There's a hot yoga. Hot yoga makes you feel really cleansed afterwards and you drink loads of water in it, which I don't normally do. So actually, you do feel like it's very healthy. Look at you with all your hobbies?

Do you look after yourself? I just, genuinely, it's a mental health thing. where you just feel so much better if you do exercise. When you find that? I was never a believer. With the golf and stuff, it's like your brain is thinking about something else

and when you're sort of turning off the chattery bit of your brain to do something physical and then after an hour of that, you know, honestly the golf is actually more stressful than when you start, but the Brazilian jitia too switches your brain off. It's gone and I get off the mats

and I've got verbal diarrhea. I mean, everything comes back and I've turned the tap off for a bit. It's phenomenal, so I totally go in it. Yeah, yeah. At Medcan, we know that life's greatest moments are built on a foundation of good health, from the big milestones to the quiet winds. That's why our annual health assessment offers a physician-led, full-body checkup

that provides a clear picture of your health today, and may uncover early signs of conditions like heart disease and cancer. The healthier you means more moments to cherish. Take control of your well-being and book an assessment today. Medcan, live well for life. visit medcan.com slash moments to get started Babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo

time has actually flown we've got to do this question Oh jeez 20% What the hell I thought I didn't know we'd start it This is crazy Oh this is lovely It's just really nice and natural

Okay so excited Yes so we've got The whole part And please keep anonymous Is that you read out One of these stories That's coming in So take it away

I do I'm Chris and Rosie Please keep me anonymous We shall Just out of embarrassment Mostly A few years ago whilst at university, I was in the co-op

looking at the bottles of wine. I spotted one on the top shelf that looked nice, probably most expensive, would you say? Probably a security tag on, I reckon. Probably, well... Safety first. However, given my lack of height, I was unable to reach it even on my tiptoes.

So this is a high shelf or a small person. We know this much. Or both. I can't reach top shelves. It's really embarrassing. I've had to ask lots of people to help me with stuff. Have you? Yeah.

I feel so tall when I'm rocking around within the supermarket. great. Not that we, we haven't met the supermarket together. Do you know this? We haven't met the supermarket together for years. Well, because we take a child,

we take a separate child every end. We've got a big issue with people who go full family shopping. We fucking hate them. Oh, do you? Yeah, if you go out, well, wait, I mean, I've seen multiple generations

of one family in the supermarket. I'm like, you're just taking up space. Well, I think I do disagree with you in this because I think it's such a nice day out. I think it clicks into something really ancestral in terms of like foraging. So like, it makes me so happy. Number one, because I, obviously, and I don't know if this is the same for you guys,

I didn't have money growing up and I don't mean that in like a, I was like went to bed hungry way. Yeah, of course. But there's something about walking into a Tesco and going, we can have anything we want. Yeah. We can buy a can of anything we want. You want crisps.

We can get crisps. There's something about that that makes me feel giddy as soon as we walk in and then I do love the whole negotiating. You're right, actually. I remember at Christmas we used to get like two trispses. And I'm not seeing you get two trolleys now all the time. But like, I remember just being like, wow. Yeah.

But other than that, it was, you know, a basket around quick save. And I think if you go with the whole family then you're not going to have a thing when you come back and they go, oh, not those yoghuts. Yeah. Drew, I don't eat that cheese. I wouldn't give our kids. I wouldn't give our kids a choice, not in the supermarket. You'd be there all day.

It would just be every Mr. Beast product that is out there would be in the trolley. What is Mr. Beast? Oh, you're not there. Yeah, I'm serious. You're not there. Yeah. You don't know who Mr. Beast is? No, I don't.

He's the biggest YouTuber on the planet. Oh, God, okay. And the kids, the kids love him, but he's released chocolate bars. Oh, okay, so there's merch for a YouTuber. Would you say that's the most famous YouTuber? He's the biggest YouTuber on Earth. He's actually all right, you know, as well.

Like, we've done our research because our eldest is banging all that kind of stuff. Anyway, well, that'll come in time. Yeah, my kids, what spots, you know. Vladden Nikki? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So it's sort of like primary colours and play-dough and slime and all that kind of thing. It's a slippery slope though.

The parents who get a bit too much into it though. The parents who get a bit too much into it. I think they've got uncles. Yeah, uncles and aunts and a grandma somewhere. So uncle is how, no, no, so I'm onto this. So these little families that play on YouTube, uncle is how they get around the actor who is in. Right.

Okay. So it's not their real dad. Uncle, help the guy who isn't even the same ethnicity as the walks in because that's how they just have played away. the random bloc who comes in. That's what's happened. Which is a really good message for children. If a random man comes in your head,

or to call him uncle, just don't make a fuss. Give him all me an egg scream. I think that's as bad as 10 grand for the next kill. The story continues. Okay, sorry. So you couldn't reach the wine. Sorry.

So I looked around me for a staff member to ask a help, but I couldn't see anyone, maybe too small to see members of staff. There was a taller gentleman near to me who caught my eye briefly, and smiled. So I worked up the courage and said, excuse me.

I'm trying to imagine what a voice is like, excuse me, I'm trying to reach that bottle of wine, but I can't. Please, could you help me? Little mousy lady. Yeah. And at this point,

you would think a kind stranger would just say yes and take three seconds to grab the bottle I had pointed at. This was not the case in this situation. I looked at him, he looked at me,

and the next thing I know, he's, what do you think happened next? No way. No. He lifted her up. I don't know. I haven't read the second half.

I don't know. Oh, gosh. Oh my gosh. I think he lifted her up. You think he lifted up? I've got a horrible feeling that he's just went, no problem, and he's just like that and he's just giving her a boost.

Is that what you do with Rosie? When she can't fix things on the top shelf? We do the stand on me. We do the stand on me hand, don't we? Yeah. Like walking dead when they're trying to get over a gate that's locked. I've got two options here now. I think lifted her up,

or he's pissing himself laughing out of there. Oh, I say. Because why I think, I got that this is my game, but the world. The worst thing that I could imagine happening would be he says, I don't think you should drink. You've had enough. That would be my shame. It's someone to go, it's 4 o'clock on a Monday.

I didn't even think of that. We've got on you off, love. You've had enough love. The universe has told you something. It's put the wine out of your reach. Sorry, we don't know this because of a drittance she might have us. Just me. You're talking, aren't you?

Yes. You're joking, aren't you love? Steer at yourself. Maybe she's not sure. Maybe she's lying down. Point. Just unscrew it and pour it into my mouth, please. Yeah.

Okay, I think we should go with that. I think it should be. Yeah, he's judged that. All right, then, okay, it could be. Imagine if you've asked someone who's like, in AA, and they're like, I can't touch it. Oh, I'd be sore. Yeah, I'd be mortified.

Of course you'd be mortified. I'd be mortified. No, okay, that's something you would do. Yeah, that's something I would do. I can tell you the answer. Come on then. Next thing I know is behind me and has his arms around my way. picking me up.

Yes. I couldn't believe what was happening. Since I was already up there, I didn't protest and simply grabbed the bottle of wine I wanted. He then put me down and we both went out separate ways. It all happened so quickly. I didn't have time to process how bizarre his choice was. I paid for my wine and left the shop. But look, she's thinking about it years and years later going, what happened? Why did he pick me up?

That's I would hate to be picked up by a stranger. There's something with small women, which I never was. and I don't know if you ever found this in amateur dramatic. There is a man who likes to lift a woman. Oh, yeah. And play with a woman and all that. Have women sitting on their lap? Oh.

And there's an advantage of never being like a tiny, and I think it is hard for tiny women. Yeah. I remember at school, I was always, I'm the youngest as well, I'm 30th of August. I was the smallest kid in my class. So in reception, all of the older kids used to come

and they just used to pick me up all the time to the point where the teachers had to say it to them, stop picking her up because they would pick me up. They would spin me round. And I was like, this is horror. I hated it. Yeah. And they had to like say to all the bigger kids.

Rosie doesn't like being picked up. Please don't pick up. I didn't know this. That's so sad. Because I was a dot. Yeah. And I think dads and uncles have that as well with little girls. You know, like over my shoulder.

Yeah. And they always think, you know, if you're sort of laughing along, yeah. They can ignore the fact you're going, put me down. Please put me down. Put me down. I've been, actually, that is so, never thought about it. I've been picked up loads over, over the course of my life.

Yeah. Oh. Who am I? Maybe when you get into your geeky... Who are me? Maybe your geeky hobby then should be sort of self-defense. Self-defense.

Maybe I'll come to your hobby, G. Do you know, like, a death grip on the neck or something where you can just like... Put me down. I'm sure there's something where you can just go, and people are unconscious. I'll teach you what to do. With a smile.

You'll drop you. You'll drop you. You'll drop you. You put them out. You'll drop you. That's the worst bit. Oh, okay. Who?

Who's going to have. This is before his picture up. This is when they come to water. So if someone comes behind you to try and pick you up You lace your foot around the back of their knee Just lace it in And they can't pick you up Just lace it in.

Okay, you need to teach you me in these things I saw a great video on Instagram the other day And it was a woman, Sensei And she was basically, she did like a reenactment Of being in a bar And this man come over and said like Do you want to drink? And he kept like to...

And then he grabbed her arm And she just went like so if it grabbed her there She just kind of went like that Yeah And the arm came off and I was like... It's hard though when you know It's a setup. They had one on Dragon's Den the other day

and actually what she's promoting is self-defense and you know, what do they call it? When you give classes, basically you give teachers training and then they can go away and start their own classes so it would be really affordable all over Britain. But, you know, when they're enacting it, they've always got someone kind of pretending to get them. Oh yeah, it's really easy when someone's pretending to get me.

I reckon I could do it real. Get out of it. I think all women should do Brazilian jure too. Yeah. All women because it gets people off you. It gets people off you. Yeah. Especially if you're on the ground,

it gets them off you. This is a 90s one. So I think from when we were younger, I always remember this being a thing. Oh, yeah. With keys and your fingers. Oh, I do that. I want our own Godbox now with a key in my finger.

I'm like, you'll be fine, yeah. Hitch like home, you'll be fine, you've got your door keys. Do you know my nana? My nana used to walk home with a screwdriver in a hand. Yeah. God, God. When I first moved... She was a mechanic.

She was a mechanic. When I first moved into a flat by myself, my mom sent me a hammer. And I said, why is the hammer? She went, just have it under your pillow, just in case. because I'd said to where, you know, it's sort of quiet in the flat and you're sort of going to sleep and you get in that catastrophizing thing and you think the worst. And then you'll think the worst and you go, got a hammer under my pillow.

Yeah, yeah, that's how I'll die. We still barricade. I guess someone comes to murder here. Oh, great, there's a hammer here. I don't have to hit me hand. Oh, well, thank you for the hammer. Yeah, and then you do jitsu, Brazilian stuff isn't working. No, no, this should work.

Put the jacket on. Put the special. Jack Dollar, I can't grab you. We still barricade hotel rooms. We barricaded the hotel room last night. If there's not a deadlock, if there's not a ball or anything, we barricade the doors. We catastrophize us.

I'd love to be a bit more laid back with stuff like that. But then they're the people that get killed in their beds. This is the thing. Yeah, I agree with that. Because also at hotels, you must have had this, because we stay a lot. Sometimes your key card opens the wrong door. I've had people come into rooms because their key card opens the wrong door.

You know, they've said this before. I walked into a man's room once. I opened it. I walked in lights run. lit like this room. I walked at the bottom of the bed. I turned. He was fast asleep in the bed. Fucking out. I turned around. I walked back out. I saw my breakfast the next morning. And I looked at him and I thought, you've got no idea that I was standing at the bottom of your bed last night. Right. Okay. It's horrible. So it makes a lot of sense to barricade your door.

Because at least there when someone's trying to open it, they go, oh, there's something in front of the door. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This isn't my room. Yes. Yeah. I want really quickly, just because I need to tell someone, I watched a documentary on Netflix, and it was really good. It was about a girl who got abducted from her home. And she's actually alive, it's fine, but bloody blah. She got abducted from her bedroom. Oh, smart. Yes, Elizabeth Smart.

It's a really famous, really famous case. Yes, yes, yes. And they have done a very good documentary of it. It was really good. No, upsets us. I love true crime. It's just a gender divide. It is just a gender divide.

It is a gender devils. Baffle me. Yeah. It actually relaxes. She'll go, I'm listening to a really good podcast or I'm watching a really good documentary and then she will proceed to describe my nightmares. But something, the more gruesome it is, the quicker I fall to sleep.

Oh my God, I love it. Yeah, same. But just, I need to just tell me. I'm sorry, I'm going to do it. Horatio Gould, I don't know him, I did a gig with him the other day. And he's really funny. He does stuff with Finn Taylor. Oh, yeah, no worries, yeah.

He's got a joke about his girlfriend going to sleep listening to true crime podcasts, which is she's listening to a woman who looks like her being murdered by a guy who looks like me. You know, I know. It's madness. But no, so the thing I took away from this documentary was she got abducted from her bedroom and her and her sister shared this bedroom. Then the day after she got abducted,

they were going to sleep and she, that girl was sleeping in that bedroom by herself. And her parents were in the other bedroom. And she was like, wait for her dad to come and tuck her in bed. And she was like, and I just didn't sleep. I was like, well, in the bedroom that your sister got abducted from? Basically, a guy put a chair outside the window and then just opened the window.

Yeah. And the thing is, this is, this is, sort of a spoiler, the guy did want her as well. He wanted to have lots of wives. But my thing is, from that moment on, my children would sleep. I'd move house, they would sleep, it would all sleep in a room together

until they were 25. Like, just the fact that the day after. Yeah, all the hammers. And then, so there you go, actually, there are certain people who do. That's what you said, there are the people who get, yeah, yeah. So we're all right, we're fine. Yeah, we're fine.

And one last thought on the thing you read out. That guy is either, To this day, thinks it was completely fine, thinks nothing of it, or he's exactly the same as her. Why the fuck did I do that? If he's listening, if you're the guy who actually lifted that lady up, if you thought it was fine, wasn't fine, mate, a bit weird. But yes, sorry.

Could it be this? I don't know if you have ever done something you think will be funny. Oh my God. And then the person doesn't laugh. Story mother. So, so that's the funny. Chris Ramsey, pleased to meet you. Yeah.

So this is the kind of thing, especially when the dog walks, like nursery drop-offs, just occasionally I bring out like the dad humor. other, and then when they don't give you a, you were clearly had a twinkle in your eye there and you both walk away

like it was normal and then that like do they think I lift people up in the supermarket? Do you know, I've just learned that you have to just you just got to live

with yourself and just forget about it. I say stuff all the time and now I'm just living in a world where I go well it's all right it just comes back you in the shower

and you shout to get the voice out of your head and that's it. I know loads of weird people I just think I live in a world where I think well people think I'm weird

I'm always trying to see this woman again on a dog walk because my dog, other dogs to smell my dog's bum for ages and ages and ages and it's so long and you're standing with another human and this woman was clearly on her way to work and her dog was smelling my bum and I used to have this thing that I would say, No, that's what I said to her. So what I used to say to people is my dog's got really smelly bum and then hoping they would laugh and they very rarely did but that was like my quip, my dog's got really smelly bum.

This woman said to this woman, I said to this woman, I've got really smelly bum. And that's what comes back to me That's what comes back to me So I have to drown it up A true crime I've never seen her again She probably got rid of her dog Moved to house

She doesn't ever Any time of day She's thinking I don't want to see that lady again He's like And then She walked away I thought

I have to shout I don't I meant the dog Then I thought That's gonna sound more like Yeah Yeah yeah I have

She protesting too much Yes She's beautiful She's a woman Denies We're all the same We're all right She says you on the deli go on

Oh my God That's the woman who's got to smelly arms. She said, yeah, that's it. No, I don't want to watch last one laughing I saw on a blast. That's the woman with a smelly balm. Oh, thank you so much for coming.

Thank you for having me. I love your podcast. I think you're so funny and you're so funny together. It's really joyful. Oh, thank you. So, thank you. It's a lovely that you have a chat with you.

I wish we're going to chat longer. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks, sir.