Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Please Keep Me Anonymous with Seann Walsh

Episode Date: March 18, 2026

On this week's Please Keep Me Anonymous, Chris and Rosie Ramsey are joined comedian, podcaster and I'm a Celebrity Get me Out Of Here alumni, Seann Walsh! They discuss mistaken identity, nostalgi...c tv shows from the 90’s, the art of calling in sick and how Seann felt when he was in the jungle with Matt Hancock! Seann’s also explains why Gemma Collins is responsible for his new trainers and the trio get animated over Jonathan Ross's new show Handcuffed: Last Pair Standing In April Seann will be in the new series of I'm a Celebrity All Stars which will be available on ITV. You can catch Seann on his tour ‘This is Torture’ for tickets visit seannwalsh.com Seann’s podcast Class Clown is available wherever you get your podcasts or click here -  Class Clown Sean and Jack Dee’s Podcast Oh My Dog is available weekly and you can find it wherever you get your podcasts or click here Oh My Dog If you want to get involved and have your stories and voice notes included on the podcast then get in touch! 📧: shaggedmarriedannoyed@gmail.com 📱: 07874 406650 You can watch the podcast on the Shagged Married Annoyed YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@shagged.married.annoyed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:30 Hello, you are listening and watching Shagmarinoid. Please keep me in on me. Yes, hello. And we are joined this week by the hilarious Sean Walsh. Very good friend of mine from stand-up from years ago. You guys go back ages. We do, we go back years and years. I forgot to mention it, but we're actually in the same new act competition back in the day, which is Sean won. He's a very good comedian. Carl Hutchinson was actually in that heat as well. Lester Mercury comedian in the year. I think genuinely right, he'd been about 2007 or 2008. dates and that dates that.
Starting point is 00:01:00 We had a great chat. Yeah, absolutely wonderful. Sean, he's on tour now with his show, this is torture, for tickets you visit, shawm Walsh.com. Two ends, two ends in Sean. Yes, S-E-A-N-N-Walsh.com. We saw him last year on his tour,
Starting point is 00:01:15 and it was fucking hilarious. I am swearing straight away. It's so good. Very good. He's got two podcasts, the greedy, greedy boy. Class Clown and Oh My Dog, which he hosts with Jack D, legend.
Starting point is 00:01:25 And Sean's just been announced for I'm a Celebrab All-Star. which will be on in April. Which is just told us is going to be juicy. Juicy, juicy, juicy. So I'm really looking forward to that. Yeah, enjoy.
Starting point is 00:01:35 It's a really, really fun chat. Loads of high energy. Yeah. And please subscribe on YouTube if you're watching and obviously subscribe on your podcast shops and yeah, thank you. We had a fight about the jingle.
Starting point is 00:01:49 Jingle. We couldn't settle on a jingle. Jingle. So this is the jingle. Jingle. Like the jingle. Ginggo. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bao.
Starting point is 00:02:03 Jingo! I've had it with, do you know, I've had it with Sean Locke, someone with a work in progress. Right. Many, many, many, many moons ago. Yeah. And it was going well, I thought. But there was someone that, you know, when someone's face just stands out,
Starting point is 00:02:21 they're not enjoying it. Sorry, mate, is this something wrong? I thought it was Sean Locke. Which is obviously hilarious. Same name, so I suppose. Yeah, but I knew one of Sean's routines off by heart, so I did it for me. And he bloody loved it. Wow.
Starting point is 00:02:39 Wow. Got an encore, but as someone else. That's amazing. So we're talking about you. Sorry. There's two people, you're on tour at the minute. There's two people who've come to your gigs this week who thought you were someone else. Has that we said two people?
Starting point is 00:02:53 Well, this has happened twice in the past week. So basically, I'll tell you. this way around. I did a photo. I was at Leeds doing city varieties and I did a photo with someone that was telling me
Starting point is 00:03:06 this woman had traveled from Middlesbrough. Oh yeah, that's near us. Right, right. Yeah, to get a selfie. Yeah. With me and she could
Starting point is 00:03:14 come to the show because the show was sold out. I don't get to feel a bit guilty. I'd sorry I would have sorted a ticket if I could somehow know. Anyway, so I do this selfie with this lovely lady and she tells me that she loves my podcast
Starting point is 00:03:26 with Pete Wicks. Go on, fuck off. I know exactly who you mean. Yeah, and I go, right. And she's going, yeah, really love it. She says that we're like the new Morkman Wise. And she said, I love the episode with you when you're in your pajamas. And I went, right, yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:47 And yeah, it clicked. She thinks I'm Sam Thompson. And I felt so, she traveled from Middlesbrough. Not a far out of leads. Nah, I don't feel bad. Hour on 10. Okay, all right. That doesn't sound like a long amount of time
Starting point is 00:04:00 until you take into consideration that it's to meet someone that is the wrong person. And then that's a long amount of time. And so I went along with it. Well, yeah, good because she sounds stupid. You went along with it. Just went along with it, just pretended I was sad. I'm glad you loved the pod.
Starting point is 00:04:17 We've got some great episodes coming up that I think you're really going to enjoy. So she didn't, even when she met you in the flesh, didn't realise it wasn't you? Not at all. Like, not at all. In her defence, it is an audio medium. Yes, yeah, yeah, there is that, there is that.
Starting point is 00:04:30 But I mean, I've had it before. You look a little bit. You look a little bit similar. San Thompson from Timu, I think is. Did she have glasses on? She did, no, listen, this is a just, this is a regular, you know, and if Sam Thompson's this thing, she loves you. I mean, she really loves you.
Starting point is 00:04:52 Listen, Sean, there's worse people to be. Yes, that's true. Absolutely. So the other one. Okay, all right. Not Sam Thompson this one. So this is a number one. This is a different one.
Starting point is 00:05:01 This person actually managed to make it to the show in Birmingham. And after the show, I said, I really enjoyed that. But I thought I'd come to watch Sean Wallace. Now, right, unsure? Yes, I'm sure of Sean Wallace. I was unsure. Sean Wallace. I might recognise his face.
Starting point is 00:05:18 Yeah, from the Chase. Oh. The Dark Destroyer from the Chase. The black guy. And I thought, maybe it's the glasses. At what point did they realise? That's 20 minutes in. Oh, on a second.
Starting point is 00:05:39 That's not just really bright lighting. Show the camera. Look at that. Fucking amazing. Maybe it's the glasses. Who knows? Can you see? Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:05:56 Well, again, though, same name. She's not looked at the pictures. No. So, Sean Walsh. Sean Wallace. We have to. I'm not having it. I'm not having it.
Starting point is 00:06:07 I'm not having it. You're a fucking moron. I'm not. So this has happened to me once. Black bald man. This has happened to me once. I was in the Edinburgh Fringe. I don't know if you.
Starting point is 00:06:17 By the way, she enjoyed the show. But she said she was hoping it would be a little bit more intellectual. Well. That's a. Burn. That is such a burn. It's your mother's on tour? Everyone's on top.
Starting point is 00:06:34 Yeah, yeah, that's true. Everyone is in sort. Everyone's on tour and some shit. Everyone's fucking taught in something. Oh, that's hilarious. Fantastic. You'll remember the year in Edinburgh. When I see who it is, you remember the year that he was there.
Starting point is 00:06:46 I walked out on stage and someone in me crowd, to be fair to her. I walked out and I said, hello. And she fucking shot up like someone had just like electrocuted her, just bull up right. And she got her ticket and she looked at the ticket. And she just went straight for the door. And I went, oh my God, I'm sorry, what's wrong? And she went, I'm not meant to see you. And she did recognise straight away because I am not and looked nothing like Hannibal Burress.
Starting point is 00:07:11 It was also black. With glasses. With glasses. So it was a year Hannibal Dink Edinburgh. Okay, yes. And I saw him afterwards and I went, dude, I went, did you have a late come out of tonight? And he went, yeah. And I went, she bolted out of my fucking show.
Starting point is 00:07:24 So quick, mate. Like, so quick. I would have to stay and I would tell no one. Yeah. In her defense, Hanamah was sold out for the entire run. It was very rare that he was in, he's American and it was very rare that he was in Edinburgh. And she took that, she took a ball by the horns and she went and I was fine. I hope this is all right for me to say.
Starting point is 00:07:42 I think it is. But I, once I was in America, in terms of like, you know, walking out of something. Yeah. My iPhone had broke. Right. So I took it to the Apple store to get it fixed. It was going to take a couple of hours. They gave me a specific time for me to go and collect it.
Starting point is 00:08:00 Yeah. Right. There was a couple of hours. There was nothing to do. So I thought, and I sometimes used to do this when I was younger on the road. You know, you're traveling all around the country.
Starting point is 00:08:09 I'll just go to the cinema. Yeah. And I'll just leave when I have to. Right. And I went and I went to see the Black Panther when it first came out. Yeah. And the cinema was sold out. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:08:23 Yeah. Exactly. And it sold out. And I was the, I'm not kidding, only white man. in the screen. Nice. Right?
Starting point is 00:08:32 Nice. I'm enjoying the film. I don't see you walk down. Great film. Oh, you had to go off the fore. Get some of a certain time. Stop. Halfway through black panther.
Starting point is 00:08:41 The only white man in the screen gets up and walks out. I had a shout out. I went, I've got an appointment. I know. This is fucking awesome. This is amazing and I've got an appointment. I know. I was like, this is my worst moment of my life.
Starting point is 00:09:01 And the cinema was packed, which you don't normally get in the UK. Like it was sold. It was a big film, yeah. So that, yeah, so I should, you're right, I should have said, look, I'm really sorry. I have to collect my iPhone. Great film. Great, yeah, really.
Starting point is 00:09:19 I do believe the whitest thing to say would be. I'm sorry, I've got an appointment at the genius bar. I'm so sorry, guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Note to self, just don't go to the cinema alone. Although I actually love going to the cinema by my mind. Cinema alone is amazing. Do like the cinema.
Starting point is 00:09:33 I do. I might do that on my next day off, actually. Yeah? Because the kids are at school now. Both kids are at school. And on a day off, sometimes I feel a bit like... There must be some moving or something. Come on.
Starting point is 00:09:44 I've got three-year-old and the one-year-old. Yes. So there is no cinema for me anymore. No. I'm going to retire from the cinema and that's coming back and that will come back into my life in a few years, right? Because my friends are... When you...
Starting point is 00:09:59 You know, not having kids for... For me, for you, it's 10 years ago. Yeah. So it's like, that's a decade. For me, it's free. I can kind of, kind of remember life before kids. But I have friends that don't have them. And they're just, they're so naive.
Starting point is 00:10:18 They say things like, which box set are you watching? You're like, what are you talking about? I've not watched something I wanted to watch in over three years. They start telling you about severance on Apple. Apple Plus. I was directed by Ben Stiller and you're like, yeah, I'm watching In the Night Garden, which is about Upsie Daisy, who as far as I can tell, likes to get about a bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:43 Shall I get about, but only Upsi Dazzi's beds and Upsi's bed? Yes. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. She'll do it, you know, sofa. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pop toilet, but only Upsa Dazzi sibs and Opsi. What's the one that washes all their faces? Maca Paca.
Starting point is 00:10:55 Maca Paca. With the rocks. Maca Paca. Maca Paca. I'm well on board of Maca Pacaa. I go around washing people's faces. It's viles. This is a public service.
Starting point is 00:11:03 I love it. So I have to tell you, though, do you know what's really nice? Go on. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Yeah. Like, genuinely. You're, well, you're in the trenches. Yes, I am.
Starting point is 00:11:12 We're not in the trenches anymore. So we've got a 10-year-old and a 5-year-old. It's still exhausting. Yeah. It's still, there's different things. But, like, we can have a comment. We can leave a room now. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:23 And they're not going to die. They're not going to kill them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's nice. It's very nice. But what we, because we've got, like, as you'll know, we've got, as parents, things that we now have to be concerned about that our parents didn't.
Starting point is 00:11:37 Like, for just the fact that we've got on-demand television, you just take that for granted. My daughter knows she can watch what she wants to watch whenever she wants to watch it. Madness. She doesn't remember the time that we had, which is you had a window between 3pm and 5pm. And if you miss that, you're watching Panorama with you guys. That's basically it. Babylon 5 will be on. And you've got to sit through it and think, what the fucking fish?
Starting point is 00:12:03 Horse racing. Oh, yeah. At the weekend. Hosted by an orangutan dressed as Sherlock Holmes. What about that fucking, what about that shit on a Saturday afternoon? And West Bromwichal being one. And no score draw. Oh, yeah, because you're not football, man.
Starting point is 00:12:21 But what the fuck is this? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like a fucking spreadsheet on the telly. There's some boring bastards. There's a no score drawn. Oh, no. I love that have you been like diagnoses of ADHD or any of that stuff yet? Not yet.
Starting point is 00:12:35 Not yet. I talk about what I mean, I've talked about what in me too. I haven't told you. Wow. Oh my God. A fully blown doctor who actually diagnoses people with ADHD has emailed into our podcast and has told us that we have ADHD. She said obviously don't.
Starting point is 00:12:50 Both of you. Fully blown. Fully blown the pair of them. Together. That's just the first time I'm hearing this. Yeah, I forgot to tell you. You can't even sit there and listen to a man read some school. No, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:13:01 He's just reading because of scores. What is this? I can't. I don't have a difference. Burn the world down. You don't want to burn the world down. I wanted to die when heartbeat was on. I'll always remember heartbeat.
Starting point is 00:13:11 Sunday night just hate it. But I think I would actually quite like heartbeat as an adult. I think I would actually really enjoy it. Heartbeat. And Antiques Roadshow make me feel physically sick. Why? Just because of the memory of that boredom. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:25 Of that. Sunday. I haven't done my homework yet. This is on. This is just not. thing, this, oh God. Yeah. Then there's also lovely memories because I remember faking illness so I could watch one foot in the grave.
Starting point is 00:13:38 Is that what I was called? Hang on, was that, why did you have to, why did you have to be ill? Was it not in the description? Yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah. Oh, sorry guys, I had a bedtime. What the fuck. Why are you still late? Why are you still late if you're ill?
Starting point is 00:13:52 If you're ill, yeah. Because I would have to have a cuddle with my mom. Oh, okay. That is, no, that's, that, that checks. My mom loved me. We're all dead inside Okay No I have fake illnesses
Starting point is 00:14:04 So I watch it When I was I must have been Below 10 years of age I was under 10 And I made sick So that I could get up going to school Porridge
Starting point is 00:14:16 I'm not kidding I was about 10 I cook porridge And cut up bits of carrot And put bits of carrot in the porridge And then I poured it down the toilet And I'm like Look mum I've been sick
Starting point is 00:14:28 And and didn't go to school. Thank you very much. Congratulations. That is phenomenal. No, no, no, no, no. You tried to stay off on, oh God, it was yesterday. You tried to stay off and I literally said it when I went, Robin, if you want to stay off on a Monday, you have to be ill, you have to put the effort in on the Sunday.
Starting point is 00:14:47 And you have to be poorly on the Sunday. You can't do, you went out with these mates. Give them notes on his performance. I went, you can't do that. I went, if you really want to do it, if you really want to stay off on a Monday, put the effort in on a Sunday. Yes, that's a good shout. Yeah, I'm not falling for. Yeah, but he also,
Starting point is 00:15:01 he went outside and played on the trampoline for 20 minutes. In the morning. I don't feel well. I was like, but you're fucking stupid. To the point, I couldn't take his temperature because he was still freezing from being outside. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the thermometer was like,
Starting point is 00:15:12 that was too cold. He's fine. Honest to God, he's a bastard. He would fake sake. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babo, babu, ba. You might be tempted to let Taco Bell's new Lux value menu go to your head. Because 10 indulgences for $5 or less
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Starting point is 00:16:37 I've got new trainers. Straight box fresh. Very nice. Yeah, thank you. I don't know what brand. I do know what brand and how to pronounce it. Can you say it? Vesia.
Starting point is 00:16:47 Who knows? So basically it's I'm a celebrity, South Africa. Yes. And the reason I'm where, this is quite the, what do you call it? Reach around. But basically it was the I'm a celebrity South Africa launch yesterday. Yeah. And Gemma Collins is in it.
Starting point is 00:17:05 And she, I spoke to her before the launch and she insisted that I got new trainers. Because she does not approve of man just turning up like he was popping to the shop. Because my general dress sense, basically, if you had to name it, it would be man that has had to put on clothes to get something out of the car. That's how I dress, basically. Like one sketch, one of my daughter's slippers, you know, the joggers with the one string through the heart. the other string dangling down below the knee. So, yeah, so these are because I'm wearing these. Because of Gemma Collins.
Starting point is 00:17:40 That's such a weird. It's like a name drop, but it's not strange life. Oh, those are nice trainers. Yeah, Gemma Collins told me to get them. She told me I look like shit. Yeah, yeah. She's got a name drop, but it's like, yeah, it's judicist. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:53 Before we started recording, I said, lovely trainers, and just laughed out loud. I know, yeah, I'm sorry, yes, because I, yeah, it's courtesy of college. So, yeah, jungle, jungle again. Did she last longer than a day? Well, I can't tell you. I can't tell you that. And this is going to be on in April time, yeah?
Starting point is 00:18:10 This is going to be on in April time. I'm a silly. Yeah, it's Gemma Collins, Harry's back, Harry Renlap's back. David Hay and Moffat. Scarlet Moffat, you know, there's so many names. So it's the best of, basically. Like people who've done it. I don't know what.
Starting point is 00:18:24 Maybe they thought I was Sam Thompson. I don't know what I'm doing that. That's it. That's it. He was second, didn't he? He won. Oh my God. Sean, you've been wrong.
Starting point is 00:18:35 I know, it's brilliant. Brilliant. No, good for you. Yeah, no, it's amazing. You must have enjoyed it the first time. You must have enjoyed it the first time. I loved it. I loved it.
Starting point is 00:18:42 I love, no, I know, I know, I know. But, you know what, I didn't do any of the trials, really. Right. To be honest with you. And so I just got to hang around with amazing people. I don't, I never like fully, fully watch the full thing because it's just with kids. It's every night. It's like, love it.
Starting point is 00:18:57 It's like, love it. Every night of the week. I'm sorry. Sorry, no. I can't keep up. I can't, anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The jungle's great.
Starting point is 00:19:05 I just remember your first scene, though, when you walked in. And, oh, God, what is it? Matt Hancock. Matt Hancock was in. You were just like, hello. Well, I think you went, oh, me. Well, I could have put this in the edit because of time. I laughed straight for 40 minutes.
Starting point is 00:19:22 I couldn't. It was like a nervous, laughed at reaction. I couldn't. What are you doing here? Didn't you, weren't you responsible for the handling of the pandemic? What are you? I just, yeah. And then within 10 minutes of him being in the show, he sang Ed Sheeran to me.
Starting point is 00:19:45 And I'm like, is this really happening? So you know when they go South Africa, it's bigger, it's badder, you know, it's larger. It's going to be tougher. I had Matt Hancock sing Ed Shearin to me. It's not going to be that much tougher. How do you react to that? I think you were the best person, though, to actually be the foot. They've thought about that.
Starting point is 00:20:05 I think they were, like, they were clever about that. It was absolutely surreal. I mean, like, you know, I'm only messy what I said in the tour show years ago. So I came out of that and went on tour. But I said, like, I walk into the jungle. I'm a latecomer. I get, they kind of walk me in, they push me and you're there in the gear. I look around.
Starting point is 00:20:24 No one's there. I'm expecting to see, like, the 12 cameras. No one's there. I'm in the jungle. I've been isolated for 10 days. Been in a house because it was the first one after COVID. Yeah. So I've been locked on my own for 10 days and then released into the jungle.
Starting point is 00:20:42 No one's there. I'm not supposed to anyone in 10 days. Then the man, the former health secretary that dealt with COVID, whoops out the bush is. The reason might be locked in a house for 10 days. And I thought, fuck me. Everyone's dead. This is it.
Starting point is 00:20:55 It's the end of the world. It's just me and that left in the jungle. what the fuck. But yeah. No, as I say, I had an amazing experience. Yeah. Boy George was in. Oh, nice.
Starting point is 00:21:09 The year Jill Scott one. It was such a... Yeah. There wasn't, I don't know what it was... A lot of people watched that one actually. But like, everyone got on. It was just the show where everyone... That's nice though.
Starting point is 00:21:19 I think it's one of them shows where you don't always want the drama, do you? You kind of... It's nice when they get on. But like, there has been some really good years when there's drama. I think that was like early noughties, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:21:31 Early noughties when there wasn't social media, the mental health wasn't a thing. That wasn't even a phrase. Mead, have you seen this new Jonathan Rochall? The handcuffed one. I actually read an interview with him about it. It's fucking mental. And I thought, I thought the same thing that I had with the traitors,
Starting point is 00:21:49 which is I read it and thought, that sounds amazing. It's mad. So, how is it? We were a hotel room telly last night. Yeah. And it was between the news and a tsunami. documentary and then this and we were like... Well, the news is upbeat at the moment.
Starting point is 00:22:05 It's like, no, we've had too much of a fun day. Don't want too much good news. Let's watch something else. I'm not depressed, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we watched it and it's really good. Like, genuinely, I'm like, I want to watch it again. It feels like early naughty's telling you.
Starting point is 00:22:19 Shut up. It does. It does. On the couple of them, it's fucking interesting. They take two people who are polar opposites who should absolutely not be on fucking camera. Amazing. And they handcuff them together.
Starting point is 00:22:30 And they have to just see how long the last. and it's handcuffed last one standing. And in every room that they're in, there's like a fire alarm on the wall, and it's a break glass, and it's got the key in. So they're like, fuck this,
Starting point is 00:22:39 and then just break the glass and fucking unlock it, and then they're out. They can get out at any time. It's madness. What did you get? If you win? 100 grand.
Starting point is 00:22:45 I got a second. They wish someone, they can't stand so much. Yeah, yeah. But they walk away from a lot. 100 grand. 100 grand. The one last night, man.
Starting point is 00:22:59 These two women were fucking squaring. I believe it. weighing up with each other in a kitchen. It's fucking brilliant. And then they left, didn't they? And then the woman after was like, I know I talk a lot. It's fucking brilliant.
Starting point is 00:23:12 It's really good. The line that I heard, because they'd spent a day and six hours together, and the line that really summed up for me was, she went, this is amazing, I'm free, and go back to bed tonight on me own without lying next to some random woman
Starting point is 00:23:23 with no knickers on. You know, when you see it, you come up. You go, something like, you go, fucking out, Jonathan Ross is hosting that. And then you go, okay, I get this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's channel four, it's fine.
Starting point is 00:23:36 I have a question for you. Obviously, we won't name names. It doesn't have to be from the world of the, you know, the public eye. But what type you, it talks about the opposites. Oh, God, okay. What's the person, the type of person that you would least want to be handcuffed to? That's a fucking good question. Me, really, really fucking posh.
Starting point is 00:23:56 Really posh. I can, like. You wouldn't have lasted with Matt Hancock in the jungle. No. No. I wouldn't have. I think just, I can kind of like, it's the ADHD. I'm a bit of a chameleon. I think I can get along with everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:10 But I think I would get along with someone more working class than somebody really high, you know, difference of opinions, not really. That's just me. I'm not even going to go on opinions or personality. Oh, my God, smelly. That's what I'm going. Smelly. Smelly? Just smelly. Someone with unbelievable B0. Done. Or halitosis.
Starting point is 00:24:30 A really bad breath. What about you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I think you've matured in your audience. I think you can get on with most people now. Yes, but you're handcuffed to this person. You have to live with them. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:42 And I think that, um, so one thing, if they, if they kept on telling me their opinion and was really certain of it. Right. That's it. That, that, that drives me insane. Someone that has an opinion and is just absolutely dead certain about what they think. Their view, they're not an opinion. Their view of life. Right, right.
Starting point is 00:25:04 I hate it. So not an opinion. Of course you don't have to be certain about opinion. A view on life. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I agree with you. That I can't stand.
Starting point is 00:25:13 Just certain of the way you see life. You've got it. Everyone else is wrong. Oh my God. People who define themselves through one thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I hate that as well. What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:25:23 People who define themselves, define themselves on an entire thing. Look, I know they've sponsored the podcast before. Disney adults. When you're not Disney a personality. Stop. Don't go for. for the Disney Adult again. Don't.
Starting point is 00:25:34 That kind of crack. No, there are big community. Hang on. What's the, what, what, what, what, what crosses over into Disney adult?
Starting point is 00:25:41 Because I am a Disney fan. Same. I'm a huge Disney fan. Same. Yes. Do you, wrong? Do you wear the clothes?
Starting point is 00:25:46 Do you wear the clothes? Is it your entire personality? Is it your bedroom Disney? Is it the only place you ever go on holiday? Possibly. Babadoo, Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo,
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Starting point is 00:26:56 When Westchard first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different. People thought denim on denim was peak fashion. Inline skates were everywhere. and two out of three women rocked, the Rachel. While those things stayed in the 90s, one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get when WestJet welcomes you on board. Here's to Westjetting since 96.
Starting point is 00:27:14 Travel back in time with us and actually travel with us at Westjet.com slash 30 years. Bhabado, babadoo, babadoo, babado, babo, ba. Controversial opinion, yeah, I thought, at you. Go on. I feel like it should be 100% socially acceptable to tell someone when the stink.
Starting point is 00:27:29 Yeah, it's a good shout. I think it should be cool. It's a good shout. 100%. And that applies to all of those things that the person might not know. You've got something in your teeth. Tell me I've got something in my teeth.
Starting point is 00:27:40 I agree with this. Oh my God. So Rosie'll tell me off. We'll meet someone for the first time. I go, by the way, you got something hanging on your nose and she goes, why did you do that? And I go because they're going to then go to a toilet or a mirror and go. Chris Ramsey didn't tell me I had something hanging on my nose.
Starting point is 00:27:51 What a piece of you. Don't do it. People you don't know. If you don't know someone and they've got a snobing around it nose, don't tell them. I'm not stopping on the street. Yeah, you're not stopping with them. You're not just stopping them on the tube. Excuse me, any other carriage.
Starting point is 00:28:05 You spotted them. You get off the train at the next stop. We'll come to the next carriage. I was just looking at you there. You've got a bit, yeah, you've got a bit of sleep in your eye. Could you just get that out, please? Your flies are undone. One of your testicles is hanging out of your trousers.
Starting point is 00:28:18 Oh, it's Greg Wallace. Sorry, sorry, sorry to bother you. Oh, wow. Not to be confused with Sean Wallace. Yes. Yes, yeah, yeah. Who is, uh, on to her now with his shore, this is talking. But you are on tour now
Starting point is 00:28:35 I am on tour now And it's called This is Torture Yeah Which won't surprise you I think knowing me You know For back of the day It's that's just stayed
Starting point is 00:28:43 Chris has got great Sean stories You know Sean Mall stories Oh God Really good one I would hate those stories We once
Starting point is 00:28:52 We once went to a country house With our mutual friend Jimmy McGee Yes This is the stories A brilliant comedian And friend
Starting point is 00:29:01 and we wrote, did we actually write a script? We wrote a pilot script. We wrote a pilot script. Yeah, we wrote a pilot script. Right, I thought we just wrote a treatment. We wrote a script where me, Chris and Jimmy McGee wrote a band. Yes. Oh, I've never known what it's been about.
Starting point is 00:29:18 Is that what it was about? Yeah, that was it. I think I've been embarrassed about it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. We weren't a band. Yeah, that's fair about. What was it for? It's a channel four.
Starting point is 00:29:28 Is it script? Oh, okay. We've got commissioned, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. You'll remember more than me. But one of the reasons, I'm sure there are many reasons that it didn't go to TV.
Starting point is 00:29:37 But one of the reasons was there was another, there was like a comedy group that were a band. And they had a sitcom. They had a sitcom. What were called? There was an actual comedy band. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:50 If young are, it's younger than us, better look than all three were, apart from Jimmy. That's a good. Jimmy is quite a joke. Thank you. I like that. He's a drama.
Starting point is 00:29:59 And they had, I can't remember their name, but they had it. They were a comedy band and they had a script and they went with them and said. Yes. Yeah, yeah. I once, here's like a commissioning nightmare story that I still think about to this day. Love these. You probably won't remember this.
Starting point is 00:30:14 Me, Chris and Jimmy, we got, we just, Chris's agent, like just got us into the back of this. Like, instantly went, right, love the idea. We all had several ideas to picture sitcoms. Right, come with me. And we just walked straight into a black car and we drive straight to Channel. 4. Right. Amazing.
Starting point is 00:30:32 What a frill. This guy could just drive us straight into Channel 4. We go in, I think we pitched the band sitcom. I think there's another sitcom. And then I have a kind of left field idea. You won't remember this. This is ringing a bell. Do you know, do you?
Starting point is 00:30:49 Come on. Have you got any memory of it? Did you see it in the meeting? Yeah. It was fucking, it was sci-fi or something weird. It wasn't sci-fi, but it was fantasy. Right, come on. Slightly different.
Starting point is 00:31:00 My idea. was that I'm getting a flashback of like looking at the floor I'm going to love it you know So the idea was me
Starting point is 00:31:11 Chris and Jimmy Yeah played animals Do you remember Do you remember this? Right Right Okay
Starting point is 00:31:23 We played animals And it was And it was like animals Do you remember animals Of farthing wood? I loved it Yes I loved it
Starting point is 00:31:31 Amazing Me and Chris and Jimmy played like foxes and badgers or whatever, a rabbit. And we're trying to get back. And if ever it's like, if ever there's like a wide shot, as in, you know, you can see everything. The camera's far back. Then you'll see, like, we'll be, I remember I specifically pitched a scene
Starting point is 00:31:51 where we were in a service station. And I said, but, you know, when the camera's back, you see there's like a badger and a fox and a rabbit walking around the service station. But then when it cuts in, it's just us. Just us as ourselves, but Chris is a badger and I'm a fox. And the woman at Channel 4 broke into hysterics and not the hysterics you want, just started laughing at me.
Starting point is 00:32:17 I just went like this, I never figured to do it. Sorry, are you serious? And I such a sheepish. The best bit about this was, no, no, no, no, the best bit about this was, there was a discussion in the car on the way there where we said, don't fucking say the animal one. and he fucking said it. It was a moment of dead space.
Starting point is 00:32:39 And this is what I meant about Sean's stories. My favourite, my favourite show. Can you remember my reaction in that little ego logic where you stayed in? Can you remember my reaction when you opened your laptop? Oh God, what was on my laptop? No, no.
Starting point is 00:32:53 It wasn't turned on. It wasn't turned on. It was the fucking state of that laptop. I'm not kidding. Rosie's brother is a plaster and his radio is cleaner than that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was just food and just stuff and just things.
Starting point is 00:33:08 And I remember going, what the fuck has happened to this life? You need windscreen wipers on the fucker. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you're type B person. I think you're type B. What's that mean? Like type A or type B. I'm type B?
Starting point is 00:33:20 Yeah, I think so. What's that mean? So Chris is type A. Yeah. So Chris would... So is this just clean and a complete, like, hurricane of a human being? Yeah, like type A and type... It's like a full-on thing at the minute.
Starting point is 00:33:33 Oh, okay. I think it might be more of a... a woman thing, like if you're a type A person or a type B person. I'm a bit of both to be honest with you. You can be a bit of both. When I got my glasses on, people go, oh my God, how can you see out of those?
Starting point is 00:33:47 Like they are now. They are really dirty. I'm the next tube coach. Please, please let me. Just before we're going to do the questions. Oh, good. But just before we do, genuinely, the animal one, I think it's quite good.
Starting point is 00:34:04 Yeah. You'd go for it. I think I'll go for it. Honestly, it's 2026. There's a lot happened. We'll get the lodge book. We'll bounce the idea as well. The way you described it, I can see it.
Starting point is 00:34:15 And so when it goes to you as being humans, do you have little fox features or just nothing at all? Well, I remember, again, I remember saying this. No, no, it's not. It's not. I remember saying this bit. I remember explaining this bit. If Chris was the fox, he would wear orange.
Starting point is 00:34:32 Right. Well, it makes sense. You'd have like an orange. you know, a cord suit. A black and white. And then if I was the bad side of a black and white. Genuinely. Oh my God,
Starting point is 00:34:39 really quickly. We saw a fox just walked around central London during the day. That's not, that's not, that's not, that's not, is that not, is that not wild?
Starting point is 00:34:50 Is that not weird? No, no, you know what was just walking down the street? They did that. Did they? It was walking down to the street. Everyone was like that. It was like,
Starting point is 00:34:55 It was like, it was unbelievable. It was unbelievable. We were freaking out one, you can tell we weren't from London. I've never seen one during the day. Oh yeah. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:05 It was a dog. It was just walking the street. It was D. It was fucking three o'clock. Wow. Yeah. I had my phone stolen. By fox.
Starting point is 00:35:12 In London. But it's actually a badger. I actually stolen. I had my phone. That was terrible. But when I, just quickly, when I had my phone stolen, it was snatched out of my hand by two guys, Balaclava, balaclavas on and they're on the bike.
Starting point is 00:35:31 And by the time I've looked up, like they are, gone. But people have seen this. People have crossed the road and they've all gasped. I kind of just instantly realised what's happened and just accepted it. Like there's nothing. Look, they are. And what am I going to do if I chase them and get them? Nothing. But I really quickly thought my phone was still unlocked. That's how they get it. Right? And I had to think quickly. I remember the person I was with had a laptop and I could get into my, find my phone and just block the phone. So really quickly. So the first thing is I did, the bloke grabs my phone, I look up, they're gone,
Starting point is 00:36:08 instantly, I turn round and run back to meet my mate to block out. Yeah. I suddenly realise that everyone across the road, the witness is, just saw me get my phone stolen
Starting point is 00:36:21 and then run the other way. It must have been absolutely mental. My God, this is his first time chasing someone. He doesn't know you've got to run in the same direction there way. He's trying to cut them off at the other end of the globe. I'm going to go the long road off. They won't think of this.
Starting point is 00:36:40 They won't think it. They'll expect me to chase them. And what if I go the other way? He's going to circumnavigate the globe in the other direction and end up in front of them. That's how fast this fucking guy is. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Sorry, sorry.
Starting point is 00:36:56 No, no, fine. I enjoy this too. Is it on one card? Is it on two? We don't know what this is. No idea. You don't know. No.
Starting point is 00:37:02 Hi Chris and Rosie. Greetings from the US. Oh, shit. Hello. Yeah, right. Please keep me anonymous. I work at a retreat center that turns into an overnight camp each summer. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:37:15 As a counsellor, I live in a cabin with eight to ten boys each week. Awful. Making sure they get to where they need to go and looking after them throughout the day. Okay. Now, I typically work with our youngest campers who are all eight years old and so. as you might guess a lot of crazy shenanigans go down and I love it. For a bit of context, each night the boys must carry their toiletries and pyjamas down a small hill to the bathhouse to get a shower and brush their teeth. While they do that, I typically sit outside the cabin and wait for them to return.
Starting point is 00:37:50 One night, I'm sitting there when one of my little campers runs up at the hill from the bathhouse, backpack of toiletries thumping against his back fully in tears. Now this camper is one of the two cool for school boys of the week. So the fact that he was crying immediately made me think something awful had happened. Oh, God. What's wrong? I asked. Did something happen in the bathhouse? Bathhouse? He pulled me over to the side and between sobs told me, I pooped in the shower.
Starting point is 00:38:25 Trying to hold back my laughter, I responded, all right, buddy, that's okay. Which shower store was it? We could get it cleaned and nobody even has to know it was you. But he shook his head. It isn't in the shower anymore. What do you mean it's not in the shower anymore? I assumed he had stomped it down the drain,
Starting point is 00:38:44 but I never would have guessed what he said next. It's... Or do you want to guess? I know where it is. I always get these right. I know exactly where it is. It's in his backpack. It's in his backpack.
Starting point is 00:38:57 Is it my backpack? Oh, God. The little boy had taken a... toiletries out of the plastic, put his poo in the bag and put the bag in the very backpack that was resting against his back at the very moment. Oh, poo-up. There you go.
Starting point is 00:39:12 Oh, bless him. Yeah. As a mother of sons. That breaks my heart. Yeah. Pooh bags are normally for dogs. Yeah. Not.
Starting point is 00:39:22 I've got a really... I just always worry. We've got sons. I always want to be like... I don't want to tell them to freak them out, but I want to say sometimes I want to go if you shit yourself at school people will remember when you're 40
Starting point is 00:39:35 don't fucking do it don't do it so many things I want to go look with the benefit of hindsight I'm telling you now I spot people and I still remember that they shat themselves at school maybe that's because I'm petty but you know Just whisper that into his ear every night
Starting point is 00:39:49 Don't shit yourself at school I was really quickly going to say it I know that you do the dog podcast with Oh yes Or my dog Because we all have to have to have a podcast. I've got two.
Starting point is 00:40:02 I've had two. So I've got for two. And I've got, oh my dog with legend, Jack D. Yes. And we just discuss dogs, basically. Well, if we,
Starting point is 00:40:10 we haven't got a dog. No. We like one when the kids are older. What should we get, do you think? Yeah. You know us now. Oh.
Starting point is 00:40:17 What kind of dog do you think we should get? Do you go, do you like greenery, big walks? Yes. I imagine, do you know what? Why do I think you two would like a big dog? Have I got that wrong? Because we've got little people syndrome.
Starting point is 00:40:28 Right. Yeah. No. Like a big dog. I don't want a little dog. No. If I'm going to do it, we're going to do it probably. Also, keep in mind the fact that we actually have got quite a
Starting point is 00:40:38 decent garden so we could just throw a ball and let it run up and down the garden. You'd love a dog, man. I know. I love a dog. So my theory is that a man gets a dog when his kids stop hugging them. That's my theory. That's a good theory. Yeah. That works. Yeah. We'd love a golden retriever, but the
Starting point is 00:40:54 mould too much. The mold. Okay. The hair of the hair. Yeah, by the way, the problem is with, oh, my dog, is what's happen. I don't know if you find this with topics that you cover on your pod. It's really sweet. You know, we do a podcast about dogs and then
Starting point is 00:41:08 people come up to you and they want to talk to you about their dogs. But I think they've given me a bit more respect than I deserve. I don't retain anything that is said on the pod. So even you they're going, what dog should we get? It's like, I have a cockapoo and
Starting point is 00:41:24 I don't, I pay it, a sausage dog that's the other one I know. I don't retain anything. Utley pointless, asking it. Thank you. Thank you so much. So it's a comedy podcast, not a factual dog podcast. No, no, no, it's very much a comedy pod. It's very fun.
Starting point is 00:41:38 Yeah, and what's important is, I think, and this is really nice, what people like about it is, you can have it on in the car when the kids are in the car. Oh, that's good. No swearing. It's very family-friendly, day-time. And then Class clown. Sounds fucking shit.
Starting point is 00:41:54 It's for cussies, basically. But I do another one called Class clown, which is kind of really fun and funny, but it's also, it's basically, I mainly get comedians on, even though I've had like Jill Scott and Boy George, I mainly get comedians, and that's just joining,
Starting point is 00:42:09 I think it's really interesting, it's something I've always wanted to know, it's joining the dots between one's childhood and the success and, say, the artist they become to be. So, you know, I'd love to have you on. You come on and you just talk about, how did we end up here where you are, but based on your childhood.
Starting point is 00:42:28 and the things, the patterns that you begin to see, how much I've learned from listening to comedians for over a year now, it's all become expected. I'm like, oh, right, yeah, that's what happened to. Yeah, I bet it's all quite similar. Yeah, it is. It's very interesting. Well, thank you so much.
Starting point is 00:42:43 Thank you so much. We're a big fan to yours, so thank you. I'm only don't do this, but I'm only doing it because I know how uncomfortable it'll make you. Sean is on tour now, and I'm going to look at me, genuinely a phenomenal stand-up comedian. Oh, bless you. That's very sweet. That did embarrass me.
Starting point is 00:42:57 He's actually got better. No, that's really like that way. You too. He would have folded an half, 10 year ago. We saw your last show in Edinburgh. I remember you came. I could have believed it. But back at you as well.
Starting point is 00:43:09 Oh, I don't. Don't. He doesn't need it. Yeah, he's got big enough of ego. If anything, that wasn't enough of a compliment, back at you was a little bit lazy, I'm going to be honest with it. I said amazing, incredible. And always been as well, you know.
Starting point is 00:43:23 It's been a pleasure. Thank you so much. Legends. Thank you so much. Do do do do do.

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