Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Please Keep Me Anonymous with Seann Walsh
Episode Date: March 18, 2026On this week's Please Keep Me Anonymous, Chris and Rosie Ramsey are joined comedian, podcaster and I'm a Celebrity Get me Out Of Here alumni, Seann Walsh! They discuss mistaken identity, nostalgi...c tv shows from the 90’s, the art of calling in sick and how Seann felt when he was in the jungle with Matt Hancock! Seann’s also explains why Gemma Collins is responsible for his new trainers and the trio get animated over Jonathan Ross's new show Handcuffed: Last Pair Standing In April Seann will be in the new series of I'm a Celebrity All Stars which will be available on ITV. You can catch Seann on his tour ‘This is Torture’ for tickets visit seannwalsh.com Seann’s podcast Class Clown is available wherever you get your podcasts or click here - Class Clown Sean and Jack Dee’s Podcast Oh My Dog is available weekly and you can find it wherever you get your podcasts or click here Oh My Dog If you want to get involved and have your stories and voice notes included on the podcast then get in touch! 📧: shaggedmarriedannoyed@gmail.com 📱: 07874 406650 You can watch the podcast on the Shagged Married Annoyed YouTube channel: youtube.com/@shagged.married.annoyed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
Transcript
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Hello, you are listening and watching Shagmarinoid. Please keep me in on me.
Yes, hello. And we are joined this week by the hilarious Sean Walsh.
Very good friend of mine from stand-up from years ago.
You guys go back ages.
We do, we go back years and years. I forgot to mention it, but we're actually in the same new act competition back in the day, which is Sean won. He's a very good comedian.
Carl Hutchinson was actually in that heat as well.
Lester Mercury comedian in the year. I think genuinely right, he'd been about 2007 or 2008.
dates and that dates that.
We had a great chat.
Yeah, absolutely wonderful.
Sean, he's on tour now with his show,
this is torture, for tickets you visit,
shawm Walsh.com.
Two ends, two ends in Sean.
Yes, S-E-A-N-N-Walsh.com.
We saw him last year on his tour,
and it was fucking hilarious.
I am swearing straight away.
It's so good.
Very good.
He's got two podcasts,
the greedy, greedy boy.
Class Clown and Oh My Dog,
which he hosts with Jack D, legend.
And Sean's just been announced
for I'm a Celebrab All-Star.
which will be on in April.
Which is just told us
is going to be juicy.
Juicy, juicy, juicy.
So I'm really looking forward to that.
Yeah, enjoy.
It's a really, really fun chat.
Loads of high energy.
Yeah.
And please subscribe on YouTube
if you're watching
and obviously subscribe on your podcast shops
and yeah, thank you.
We had a fight about the jingle.
Jingle.
We couldn't settle on a jingle.
Jingle.
So this is the jingle.
Jingle.
Like the jingle.
Ginggo.
Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bao.
Jingo!
I've had it with, do you know, I've had it with Sean Locke,
someone with a work in progress.
Right.
Many, many, many, many moons ago.
Yeah.
And it was going well, I thought.
But there was someone that, you know, when someone's face just stands out,
they're not enjoying it.
Sorry, mate, is this something wrong?
I thought it was Sean Locke.
Which is obviously hilarious.
Same name, so I suppose.
Yeah, but I knew one of Sean's routines off by heart, so I did it for me.
And he bloody loved it.
Wow.
Wow.
Got an encore, but as someone else.
That's amazing.
So we're talking about you.
Sorry.
There's two people, you're on tour at the minute.
There's two people who've come to your gigs this week who thought you were someone else.
Has that we said two people?
Well, this has happened twice in the past week.
So basically, I'll tell you.
this way around.
I did a photo.
I was at Leeds
doing city varieties
and I did a photo
with someone that was telling me
this woman had traveled
from Middlesbrough.
Oh yeah,
that's near us.
Right, right.
Yeah, to get a selfie.
Yeah.
With me and she could
come to the show
because the show was sold out.
I don't get to feel a bit guilty.
I'd sorry I would have
sorted a ticket if I could somehow know.
Anyway, so I do this selfie
with this lovely lady
and she tells me that she loves my podcast
with Pete Wicks.
Go on, fuck off.
I know exactly who you mean.
Yeah, and I go, right.
And she's going, yeah, really love it.
She says that we're like the new Morkman Wise.
And she said, I love the episode with you when you're in your pajamas.
And I went, right, yeah.
And yeah, it clicked.
She thinks I'm Sam Thompson.
And I felt so, she traveled from Middlesbrough.
Not a far out of leads.
Nah, I don't feel bad.
Hour on 10.
Okay, all right.
That doesn't sound like a long amount of time
until you take into consideration that it's to meet someone
that is the wrong person.
And then that's a long amount of time.
And so I went along with it.
Well, yeah, good because she sounds stupid.
You went along with it.
Just went along with it, just pretended I was sad.
I'm glad you loved the pod.
We've got some great episodes coming up
that I think you're really going to enjoy.
So she didn't, even when she met you in the flesh,
didn't realise it wasn't you?
Not at all.
Like, not at all.
In her defence, it is an audio medium.
Yes, yeah, yeah, there is that, there is that.
But I mean, I've had it before.
You look a little bit.
You look a little bit similar.
San Thompson from Timu, I think is.
Did she have glasses on?
She did, no, listen, this is a just, this is a regular, you know,
and if Sam Thompson's this thing, she loves you.
I mean, she really loves you.
Listen, Sean, there's worse people to be.
Yes, that's true.
Absolutely.
So the other one.
Okay, all right.
Not Sam Thompson this one.
So this is a number one.
This is a different one.
This person actually managed to make it to the show in Birmingham.
And after the show, I said, I really enjoyed that.
But I thought I'd come to watch Sean Wallace.
Now, right, unsure?
Yes, I'm sure of Sean Wallace.
I was unsure.
Sean Wallace.
I might recognise his face.
Yeah, from the Chase.
Oh.
The Dark Destroyer from the Chase.
The black guy.
And I thought, maybe it's the glasses.
At what point did they realise?
That's 20 minutes in.
Oh, on a second.
That's not just really bright lighting.
Show the camera.
Look at that.
Fucking amazing.
Maybe it's the glasses.
Who knows?
Can you see?
Oh, no.
Well, again, though, same name.
She's not looked at the pictures.
No.
So, Sean Walsh.
Sean Wallace.
We have to.
I'm not having it.
I'm not having it.
I'm not having it.
You're a fucking moron.
I'm not.
So this has happened to me once.
Black bald man.
This has happened to me once.
I was in the Edinburgh Fringe.
I don't know if you.
By the way, she enjoyed the show.
But she said she was hoping it would be a little bit more intellectual.
Well.
That's a.
Burn.
That is such a burn.
It's your mother's on tour?
Everyone's on top.
Yeah, yeah, that's true.
Everyone is in sort.
Everyone's on tour and some shit.
Everyone's fucking taught in something.
Oh, that's hilarious.
Fantastic.
You'll remember the year in Edinburgh.
When I see who it is, you remember the year that he was there.
I walked out on stage and someone in me crowd, to be fair to her.
I walked out and I said, hello.
And she fucking shot up like someone had just like electrocuted her, just bull up right.
And she got her ticket and she looked at the ticket.
And she just went straight for the door.
And I went, oh my God, I'm sorry, what's wrong?
And she went, I'm not meant to see you.
And she did recognise straight away because I am not and looked nothing like Hannibal Burress.
It was also black.
With glasses.
With glasses.
So it was a year Hannibal Dink Edinburgh.
Okay, yes.
And I saw him afterwards and I went, dude, I went, did you have a late come out of tonight?
And he went, yeah.
And I went, she bolted out of my fucking show.
So quick, mate.
Like, so quick.
I would have to stay and I would tell no one.
Yeah.
In her defense, Hanamah was sold out for the entire run.
It was very rare that he was in, he's American and it was very rare that he was in Edinburgh.
And she took that, she took a ball by the horns and she went and I was fine.
I hope this is all right for me to say.
I think it is.
But I, once I was in America, in terms of like, you know, walking out of something.
Yeah.
My iPhone had broke.
Right.
So I took it to the Apple store to get it fixed.
It was going to take a couple of hours.
They gave me a specific time for me to go and collect it.
Yeah.
Right.
There was a couple of hours.
There was nothing to do.
So I thought,
and I sometimes used to do this when I was younger on the road.
You know,
you're traveling all around the country.
I'll just go to the cinema.
Yeah.
And I'll just leave when I have to.
Right.
And I went and I went to see the Black Panther when it first came out.
Yeah.
And the cinema was sold out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Exactly.
And it sold out.
And I was the, I'm not kidding,
only white man.
in the screen.
Nice.
Right?
Nice.
I'm enjoying the film.
I don't see you walk down.
Great film.
Oh, you had to go off the fore.
Get some of a certain time.
Stop.
Halfway through black panther.
The only white man in the screen gets up and walks out.
I had a shout out.
I went, I've got an appointment.
I know.
This is fucking awesome.
This is amazing and I've got an appointment.
I know.
I was like, this is my worst moment of my life.
And the cinema was packed, which you don't normally get in the UK.
Like it was sold.
It was a big film, yeah.
So that, yeah, so I should, you're right, I should have said,
look, I'm really sorry.
I have to collect my iPhone.
Great film.
Great, yeah, really.
I do believe the whitest thing to say would be.
I'm sorry, I've got an appointment at the genius bar.
I'm so sorry, guys.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Note to self, just don't go to the cinema alone.
Although I actually love going to the cinema by my mind.
Cinema alone is amazing.
Do like the cinema.
I do.
I might do that on my next day off, actually.
Yeah?
Because the kids are at school now.
Both kids are at school.
And on a day off, sometimes I feel a bit like...
There must be some moving or something.
Come on.
I've got three-year-old and the one-year-old.
Yes.
So there is no cinema for me anymore.
No.
I'm going to retire from the cinema and that's coming back
and that will come back into my life in a few years, right?
Because my friends are...
When you...
You know, not having kids for...
For me, for you, it's 10 years ago.
Yeah.
So it's like, that's a decade.
For me, it's free.
I can kind of, kind of remember life before kids.
But I have friends that don't have them.
And they're just, they're so naive.
They say things like, which box set are you watching?
You're like, what are you talking about?
I've not watched something I wanted to watch in over three years.
They start telling you about severance on Apple.
Apple Plus.
I was directed by Ben Stiller and you're like, yeah, I'm watching In the Night Garden,
which is about Upsie Daisy, who as far as I can tell, likes to get about a bit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Shall I get about, but only Upsi Dazzi's beds and Upsi's bed?
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
She'll do it, you know, sofa.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Pop toilet, but only Upsa Dazzi sibs and Opsi.
What's the one that washes all their faces?
Maca Paca.
Maca Paca.
With the rocks.
Maca Paca.
Maca Paca.
I'm well on board of Maca Pacaa.
I go around washing people's faces.
It's viles.
This is a public service.
I love it.
So I have to tell you, though, do you know what's really nice?
Go on.
There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Yeah.
Like, genuinely.
You're, well, you're in the trenches.
Yes, I am.
We're not in the trenches anymore.
So we've got a 10-year-old and a 5-year-old.
It's still exhausting.
Yeah.
It's still, there's different things.
But, like, we can have a comment.
We can leave a room now.
Yeah.
And they're not going to die.
They're not going to kill them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's nice.
It's very nice.
But what we, because we've got,
like, as you'll know, we've got,
as parents, things that we now have to be concerned about that our parents didn't.
Like, for just the fact that we've got on-demand television, you just take that for granted.
My daughter knows she can watch what she wants to watch whenever she wants to watch it.
Madness.
She doesn't remember the time that we had, which is you had a window between 3pm and 5pm.
And if you miss that, you're watching Panorama with you guys.
That's basically it.
Babylon 5 will be on.
And you've got to sit through it and think, what the fucking fish?
Horse racing.
Oh, yeah.
At the weekend.
Hosted by an orangutan dressed as Sherlock Holmes.
What about that fucking, what about that shit on a Saturday afternoon?
And West Bromwichal being one.
And no score draw.
Oh, yeah, because you're not football, man.
But what the fuck is this?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're like a fucking spreadsheet on the telly.
There's some boring bastards.
There's a no score drawn.
Oh, no.
I love that have you been like diagnoses of ADHD or any of that stuff yet?
Not yet.
Not yet.
I talk about what I mean, I've talked about what in me too.
I haven't told you.
Wow.
Oh my God.
A fully blown doctor who actually diagnoses people with ADHD has emailed into our podcast
and has told us that we have ADHD.
She said obviously don't.
Both of you.
Fully blown.
Fully blown the pair of them.
Together.
That's just the first time I'm hearing this.
Yeah, I forgot to tell you.
You can't even sit there and listen to a man read some school.
No, no, no, no.
He's just reading because of scores.
What is this?
I can't.
I don't have a difference.
Burn the world down.
You don't want to burn the world down.
I wanted to die when heartbeat was on.
I'll always remember heartbeat.
Sunday night just hate it.
But I think I would actually quite like heartbeat as an adult.
I think I would actually really enjoy it.
Heartbeat.
And Antiques Roadshow make me feel physically sick.
Why?
Just because of the memory of that boredom.
Yeah.
Of that.
Sunday.
I haven't done my homework yet.
This is on.
This is just not.
thing, this, oh God.
Yeah. Then there's also lovely memories because I remember
faking illness so I could watch one foot in the grave.
Is that what I was called?
Hang on, was that, why did you have to, why did you have to be ill?
Was it not in the description?
Yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah.
Oh, sorry guys, I had a bedtime.
What the fuck.
Why are you still late?
Why are you still late if you're ill?
If you're ill, yeah.
Because I would have to have a cuddle with my mom.
Oh, okay.
That is, no, that's, that, that checks.
My mom loved me.
We're all dead inside
Okay
No I have fake illnesses
So I watch it
When I was
I must have been
Below 10 years of age
I was under 10
And I made sick
So that I could get up going to school
Porridge
I'm not kidding
I was about 10
I cook porridge
And cut up bits of carrot
And put bits of carrot in the porridge
And then I poured it down the toilet
And I'm like
Look mum I've been sick
And
and didn't go to school.
Thank you very much.
Congratulations.
That is phenomenal.
No, no, no, no, no.
You tried to stay off on, oh God, it was yesterday.
You tried to stay off and I literally said it when I went, Robin, if you want to stay off on a Monday, you have to be ill, you have to put the effort in on the Sunday.
And you have to be poorly on the Sunday.
You can't do, you went out with these mates.
Give them notes on his performance.
I went, you can't do that.
I went, if you really want to do it, if you really want to stay off on a Monday, put the effort in on a Sunday.
Yes, that's a good shout.
Yeah, I'm not falling for.
Yeah, but he also,
he went outside and played on the trampoline for 20 minutes.
In the morning.
I don't feel well.
I was like, but you're fucking stupid.
To the point,
I couldn't take his temperature
because he was still freezing from being outside.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the thermometer was like,
that was too cold.
He's fine.
Honest to God, he's a bastard.
He would fake sake.
Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babo, babu, ba.
You might be tempted to let Taco Bell's new Lux value menu
go to your head.
Because 10 indulgences for $5 or less
makes you feel fancy.
Like you might think you need cloth napkins.
Well, you don't.
Just use the ones that come in the bag.
Don't let the luxe go to your head.
Where are my gloves?
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Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo.
You've got lovely new trainers on.
I've got new trainers.
Straight box fresh.
Very nice.
Yeah, thank you.
I don't know what brand.
I do know what brand and how to pronounce it.
Can you say it?
Vesia.
Who knows?
So basically it's I'm a celebrity, South Africa.
Yes.
And the reason I'm where, this is quite the, what do you call it?
Reach around.
But basically it was the I'm a celebrity South Africa launch yesterday.
Yeah.
And Gemma Collins is in it.
And she, I spoke to her before the launch and she insisted that I got new trainers.
Because she does not approve of man just turning up like he was popping to the shop.
Because my general dress sense, basically, if you had to name it, it would be man that has had to put on clothes to get something out of the car.
That's how I dress, basically.
Like one sketch, one of my daughter's slippers, you know, the joggers with the one string through the heart.
the other string dangling down below the knee.
So, yeah, so these are because I'm wearing these.
Because of Gemma Collins.
That's such a weird.
It's like a name drop, but it's not strange life.
Oh, those are nice trainers.
Yeah, Gemma Collins told me to get them.
She told me I look like shit.
Yeah, yeah.
She's got a name drop, but it's like, yeah, it's judicist.
Yeah.
Before we started recording, I said, lovely trainers,
and just laughed out loud.
I know, yeah, I'm sorry, yes, because I, yeah, it's courtesy of college.
So, yeah, jungle, jungle again.
Did she last longer than a day?
Well, I can't tell you.
I can't tell you that.
And this is going to be on in April time, yeah?
This is going to be on in April time.
I'm a silly.
Yeah, it's Gemma Collins, Harry's back, Harry Renlap's back.
David Hay and Moffat.
Scarlet Moffat, you know, there's so many names.
So it's the best of, basically.
Like people who've done it.
I don't know what.
Maybe they thought I was Sam Thompson.
I don't know what I'm doing that.
That's it.
That's it.
He was second, didn't he?
He won.
Oh my God.
Sean, you've been wrong.
I know, it's brilliant.
Brilliant.
No, good for you.
Yeah, no, it's amazing.
You must have enjoyed it the first time.
You must have enjoyed it the first time.
I loved it.
I loved it.
I love, no, I know, I know, I know.
But, you know what, I didn't do any of the trials, really.
Right.
To be honest with you.
And so I just got to hang around with amazing people.
I don't, I never like fully, fully watch the full thing because it's just with kids.
It's every night.
It's like, love it.
It's like, love it.
Every night of the week.
I'm sorry.
Sorry, no.
I can't keep up.
I can't, anyway.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The jungle's great.
I just remember your first scene, though, when you walked in.
And, oh, God, what is it?
Matt Hancock.
Matt Hancock was in.
You were just like, hello.
Well, I think you went, oh, me.
Well, I could have put this in the edit because of time.
I laughed straight for 40 minutes.
I couldn't.
It was like a nervous, laughed at reaction.
I couldn't.
What are you doing here?
Didn't you, weren't you responsible for the handling of the pandemic?
What are you?
I just, yeah.
And then within 10 minutes of him being in the show, he sang Ed Sheeran to me.
And I'm like, is this really happening?
So you know when they go South Africa, it's bigger, it's badder, you know, it's larger.
It's going to be tougher.
I had Matt Hancock sing Ed Shearin to me.
It's not going to be that much tougher.
How do you react to that?
I think you were the best person, though, to actually be the foot.
They've thought about that.
I think they were, like, they were clever about that.
It was absolutely surreal.
I mean, like, you know, I'm only messy what I said in the tour show years ago.
So I came out of that and went on tour.
But I said, like, I walk into the jungle.
I'm a latecomer.
I get, they kind of walk me in, they push me and you're there in the gear.
I look around.
No one's there.
I'm expecting to see, like, the 12 cameras.
No one's there.
I'm in the jungle.
I've been isolated for 10 days.
Been in a house because it was the first one after COVID.
Yeah.
So I've been locked on my own for 10 days and then released into the jungle.
No one's there.
I'm not supposed to anyone in 10 days.
Then the man, the former health secretary that dealt with COVID,
whoops out the bush is.
The reason might be locked in a house for 10 days.
And I thought, fuck me.
Everyone's dead.
This is it.
It's the end of the world.
It's just me and that left in the jungle.
what the fuck.
But yeah.
No, as I say, I had an amazing experience.
Yeah.
Boy George was in.
Oh, nice.
The year Jill Scott one.
It was such a...
Yeah.
There wasn't, I don't know what it was...
A lot of people watched that one actually.
But like, everyone got on.
It was just the show where everyone...
That's nice though.
I think it's one of them shows where you don't always want the drama, do you?
You kind of...
It's nice when they get on.
But like, there has been some really good years when there's drama.
I think that was like early noughties, wasn't it?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Early noughties when there wasn't social media,
the mental health wasn't a thing.
That wasn't even a phrase.
Mead, have you seen this new Jonathan Rochall?
The handcuffed one.
I actually read an interview with him about it.
It's fucking mental.
And I thought, I thought the same thing that I had with the traitors,
which is I read it and thought, that sounds amazing.
It's mad.
So, how is it?
We were a hotel room telly last night.
Yeah.
And it was between the news and a tsunami.
documentary and then this and we were like...
Well, the news is upbeat at the moment.
It's like, no, we've had too much of a fun day.
Don't want too much good news.
Let's watch something else.
I'm not depressed, you know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So we watched it and it's really good.
Like, genuinely, I'm like, I want to watch it again.
It feels like early naughty's telling you.
Shut up.
It does.
It does.
On the couple of them, it's fucking interesting.
They take two people who are polar opposites
who should absolutely not be on fucking camera.
Amazing.
And they handcuff them together.
And they have to just see how long the last.
and it's handcuffed last one standing.
And in every room that they're in,
there's like a fire alarm on the wall,
and it's a break glass,
and it's got the key in.
So they're like,
fuck this,
and then just break the glass
and fucking unlock it,
and then they're out.
They can get out at any time.
It's madness.
What did you get?
If you win?
100 grand.
I got a second.
They wish someone,
they can't stand so much.
Yeah, yeah.
But they walk away from a lot.
100 grand.
100 grand.
The one last night, man.
These two women were fucking squaring.
I believe it.
weighing up with each other in a kitchen.
It's fucking brilliant.
And then they left, didn't they?
And then the woman after was like,
I know I talk a lot.
It's fucking brilliant.
It's really good.
The line that I heard,
because they'd spent a day and six hours together,
and the line that really summed up for me was,
she went, this is amazing,
I'm free,
and go back to bed tonight on me own
without lying next to some random woman
with no knickers on.
You know, when you see it, you come up.
You go, something like,
you go, fucking out,
Jonathan Ross is hosting that.
And then you go, okay, I get this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's channel four, it's fine.
I have a question for you.
Obviously, we won't name names.
It doesn't have to be from the world of the, you know, the public eye.
But what type you, it talks about the opposites.
Oh, God, okay.
What's the person, the type of person that you would least want to be handcuffed to?
That's a fucking good question.
Me, really, really fucking posh.
Really posh.
I can, like.
You wouldn't have lasted with Matt Hancock in the jungle.
No.
No.
I wouldn't have. I think just, I can kind of like, it's the ADHD.
I'm a bit of a chameleon. I think I can get along with everybody.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I think I would get along with someone more working class than somebody really high, you know, difference of opinions, not really.
That's just me.
I'm not even going to go on opinions or personality.
Oh, my God, smelly.
That's what I'm going. Smelly.
Smelly? Just smelly.
Someone with unbelievable B0. Done.
Or halitosis.
A really bad breath.
What about you?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm thinking, I'm thinking, I think you've matured in your audience.
I think you can get on with most people now.
Yes, but you're handcuffed to this person.
You have to live with them.
Yeah.
And I think that, um, so one thing, if they, if they kept on telling me their opinion and was really certain of it.
Right.
That's it.
That, that, that drives me insane.
Someone that has an opinion and is just absolutely dead certain about what they think.
Their view, they're not an opinion.
Their view of life.
Right, right.
I hate it.
So not an opinion.
Of course you don't have to be certain about opinion.
A view on life.
Yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
I agree with you.
That I can't stand.
Just certain of the way you see life.
You've got it.
Everyone else is wrong.
Oh my God.
People who define themselves through one thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I hate that as well.
What do you mean?
People who define themselves, define themselves on an entire thing.
Look, I know they've sponsored the podcast before.
Disney adults.
When you're not Disney a personality.
Stop.
Don't go for.
for the Disney Adult again.
Don't.
That kind of crack.
No, there are big community.
Hang on.
What's the,
what,
what,
what, what,
what crosses over into Disney adult?
Because I am a Disney fan.
Same.
I'm a huge Disney fan.
Same.
Yes.
Do you,
wrong?
Do you wear the clothes?
Do you wear the clothes?
Is it your entire personality?
Is it your bedroom Disney?
Is it the only place you ever go on holiday?
Possibly.
Babadoo,
Babadoo, babadoo,
babadoo, babadoo,
this episode is brought to you by FedEx.
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Business.
When Westchard first took flight in 1996, the vibes were a bit different.
People thought denim on denim was peak fashion.
Inline skates were everywhere.
and two out of three women rocked, the Rachel.
While those things stayed in the 90s,
one thing that hasn't is that fuzzy feeling you get
when WestJet welcomes you on board.
Here's to Westjetting since 96.
Travel back in time with us
and actually travel with us
at Westjet.com slash 30 years.
Bhabado, babadoo, babadoo, babado, babo, ba.
Controversial opinion, yeah, I thought, at you.
Go on.
I feel like it should be 100%
socially acceptable to tell someone when the stink.
Yeah, it's a good shout.
I think it should be cool.
It's a good shout.
100%.
And that applies to all of those things
that the person might not know.
You've got something in your teeth.
Tell me I've got something in my teeth.
I agree with this.
Oh my God.
So Rosie'll tell me off.
We'll meet someone for the first time.
I go, by the way, you got something hanging on your nose
and she goes, why did you do that?
And I go because they're going to then go to a toilet or a mirror and go.
Chris Ramsey didn't tell me I had something hanging on my nose.
What a piece of you.
Don't do it.
People you don't know.
If you don't know someone and they've got a snobing around it nose, don't tell them.
I'm not stopping on the street.
Yeah, you're not stopping with them.
You're not just stopping them on the tube.
Excuse me, any other carriage.
You spotted them.
You get off the train at the next stop.
We'll come to the next carriage.
I was just looking at you there.
You've got a bit, yeah, you've got a bit of sleep in your eye.
Could you just get that out, please?
Your flies are undone.
One of your testicles is hanging out of your trousers.
Oh, it's Greg Wallace.
Sorry, sorry, sorry to bother you.
Oh, wow.
Not to be confused with Sean Wallace.
Yes.
Yes, yeah, yeah.
Who is, uh, on to her now with his shore, this is talking.
But you are on tour now
I am on tour now
And it's called This is Torture
Yeah
Which won't surprise you
I think knowing me
You know
For back of the day
It's that's just stayed
Chris has got great
Sean stories
You know
Sean Mall stories
Oh God
Really good one
I would hate those stories
We once
We once went to a country
house
With our mutual friend
Jimmy McGee
Yes
This is the stories
A brilliant comedian
And friend
and we wrote, did we actually write a script?
We wrote a pilot script.
We wrote a pilot script.
Yeah, we wrote a pilot script.
Right, I thought we just wrote a treatment.
We wrote a script where me, Chris and Jimmy McGee wrote a band.
Yes.
Oh, I've never known what it's been about.
Is that what it was about?
Yeah, that was it.
I think I've been embarrassed about it.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
We weren't a band.
Yeah, that's fair about.
What was it for?
It's a channel four.
Is it script?
Oh, okay.
We've got commissioned, yeah.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
You'll remember more than me.
But one of the reasons,
I'm sure there are many reasons
that it didn't go to TV.
But one of the reasons was there was another,
there was like a comedy group
that were a band.
And they had a sitcom.
They had a sitcom.
What were called?
There was an actual comedy band.
Yeah.
If young are, it's younger than us,
better look than all three were,
apart from Jimmy.
That's a good.
Jimmy is quite a joke.
Thank you.
I like that.
He's a drama.
And they had,
I can't remember their name,
but they had it.
They were a comedy band and they had a script and they went with them and said.
Yes. Yeah, yeah.
I once, here's like a commissioning nightmare story that I still think about to this day.
Love these.
You probably won't remember this.
Me, Chris and Jimmy, we got, we just, Chris's agent, like just got us into the back of this.
Like, instantly went, right, love the idea.
We all had several ideas to picture sitcoms.
Right, come with me.
And we just walked straight into a black car and we drive straight to Channel.
4.
Right.
Amazing.
What a frill.
This guy could just drive us straight into Channel 4.
We go in, I think we pitched the band sitcom.
I think there's another sitcom.
And then I have a kind of left field idea.
You won't remember this.
This is ringing a bell.
Do you know, do you?
Come on.
Have you got any memory of it?
Did you see it in the meeting?
Yeah.
It was fucking, it was sci-fi or something weird.
It wasn't sci-fi, but it was fantasy.
Right, come on.
Slightly different.
My idea.
was that
I'm getting a flashback
of like looking at the floor
I'm going to love it
you know
So the idea was
me
Chris and Jimmy
Yeah
played animals
Do you remember
Do you remember this?
Right
Right
Okay
We played animals
And it was
And it was like animals
Do you remember animals
Of farthing wood?
I loved it
Yes
I loved it
Amazing
Me and Chris and Jimmy
played like foxes and badgers or whatever, a rabbit.
And we're trying to get back.
And if ever it's like, if ever there's like a wide shot,
as in, you know, you can see everything.
The camera's far back.
Then you'll see, like, we'll be, I remember I specifically pitched a scene
where we were in a service station.
And I said, but, you know, when the camera's back,
you see there's like a badger and a fox and a rabbit
walking around the service station.
But then when it cuts in, it's just us.
Just us as ourselves, but Chris is a badger and I'm a fox.
And the woman at Channel 4 broke into hysterics and not the hysterics you want,
just started laughing at me.
I just went like this, I never figured to do it.
Sorry, are you serious?
And I such a sheepish.
The best bit about this was, no, no, no, no, the best bit about this was,
there was a discussion in the car on the way there where we said,
don't fucking say the animal one.
and he fucking said it.
It was a moment of dead space.
And this is what I meant about Sean's stories.
My favourite, my favourite show.
Can you remember my reaction in that little ego logic
where you stayed in?
Can you remember my reaction
when you opened your laptop?
Oh God, what was on my laptop?
No, no.
It wasn't turned on.
It wasn't turned on.
It was the fucking state of that laptop.
I'm not kidding.
Rosie's brother is a plaster
and his radio is cleaner than that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it was just food and just stuff and just things.
And I remember going, what the fuck has happened to this life?
You need windscreen wipers on the fucker.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think you're type B person.
I think you're type B.
What's that mean?
Like type A or type B.
I'm type B?
Yeah, I think so.
What's that mean?
So Chris is type A.
Yeah.
So Chris would...
So is this just clean and a complete, like, hurricane of a human being?
Yeah, like type A and type...
It's like a full-on thing at the minute.
Oh, okay.
I think it might be more of a...
a woman thing, like if you're a type A person
or a type B person. I'm a bit of both
to be honest with you. You can be a bit of both.
When I got my glasses
on, people go, oh my God,
how can you see out of those?
Like they are now.
They are really dirty.
I'm the next tube coach.
Please, please let me.
Just before we're going to do the questions.
Oh, good. But just before we do,
genuinely, the animal one,
I think it's quite good.
Yeah.
You'd go for it.
I think I'll go for it.
Honestly, it's 2026.
There's a lot happened.
We'll get the lodge book.
We'll bounce the idea as well.
The way you described it, I can see it.
And so when it goes to you as being humans,
do you have little fox features or just nothing at all?
Well, I remember, again, I remember saying this.
No, no, it's not.
It's not.
I remember saying this bit.
I remember explaining this bit.
If Chris was the fox, he would wear orange.
Right.
Well, it makes sense.
You'd have like an orange.
you know, a cord suit.
A black and white.
And then if I was the bad side of a black and white.
Genuinely.
Oh my God,
really quickly.
We saw a fox just walked around central London during the day.
That's not,
that's not,
that's not,
that's not,
is that not,
is that not wild?
Is that not weird?
No, no,
you know what was just walking down the street?
They did that.
Did they?
It was walking down to the street.
Everyone was like that.
It was like,
It was like,
it was unbelievable.
It was unbelievable.
We were freaking out one,
you can tell we weren't from London.
I've never seen one during the day.
Oh yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It was a dog.
It was just walking the street.
It was D.
It was fucking three o'clock.
Wow.
Yeah.
I had my phone stolen.
By fox.
In London.
But it's actually a badger.
I actually stolen.
I had my phone.
That was terrible.
But when I, just quickly, when I had my phone stolen,
it was snatched out of my hand by two guys,
Balaclava, balaclavas on and they're on the bike.
And by the time I've looked up, like they are,
gone. But people have seen this. People have crossed the road and they've all gasped.
I kind of just instantly realised what's happened and just accepted it. Like there's nothing.
Look, they are. And what am I going to do if I chase them and get them? Nothing.
But I really quickly thought my phone was still unlocked. That's how they get it.
Right? And I had to think quickly. I remember the person I was with had a laptop and I could get into my, find my phone and just block the phone. So really quickly. So the first thing is
I did, the bloke grabs my phone,
I look up, they're gone,
instantly, I turn round
and run back to meet my mate
to block out.
Yeah.
I suddenly realise that
everyone across the road,
the witness is,
just saw me get my phone stolen
and then run the other way.
It must have been absolutely mental.
My God, this is his first time chasing someone.
He doesn't know
you've got to run in the same direction there way.
He's trying to cut them off at the other end of the globe.
I'm going to go the long road off.
They won't think of this.
They won't think it.
They'll expect me to chase them.
And what if I go the other way?
He's going to circumnavigate the globe in the other direction
and end up in front of them.
That's how fast this fucking guy is.
Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah.
Sorry, sorry.
No, no, fine.
I enjoy this too.
Is it on one card?
Is it on two?
We don't know what this is.
No idea.
You don't know.
No.
Hi Chris and Rosie.
Greetings from the US.
Oh, shit.
Hello.
Yeah, right.
Please keep me anonymous.
I work at a retreat center that turns into an overnight camp each summer.
Ooh.
As a counsellor, I live in a cabin with eight to ten boys each week.
Awful.
Making sure they get to where they need to go and looking after them throughout the day.
Okay.
Now, I typically work with our youngest campers who are all eight years old and so.
as you might guess a lot of crazy shenanigans go down and I love it.
For a bit of context, each night the boys must carry their toiletries and pyjamas down a small hill to the bathhouse to get a shower and brush their teeth.
While they do that, I typically sit outside the cabin and wait for them to return.
One night, I'm sitting there when one of my little campers runs up at the hill from the bathhouse,
backpack of toiletries thumping against his back fully in tears.
Now this camper is one of the two cool for school boys of the week.
So the fact that he was crying immediately made me think something awful had happened.
Oh, God. What's wrong? I asked. Did something happen in the bathhouse?
Bathhouse?
He pulled me over to the side and between sobs told me,
I pooped in the shower.
Trying to hold back my laughter, I responded,
all right, buddy, that's okay.
Which shower store was it?
We could get it cleaned and nobody even has to know it was you.
But he shook his head.
It isn't in the shower anymore.
What do you mean it's not in the shower anymore?
I assumed he had stomped it down the drain,
but I never would have guessed what he said next.
It's...
Or do you want to guess?
I know where it is.
I always get these right.
I know exactly where it is.
It's in his backpack.
It's in his backpack.
Is it my backpack?
Oh, God.
The little boy had taken a...
toiletries out of the plastic, put his poo in the bag
and put the bag in the very backpack that was resting
against his back at the very moment.
Oh, poo-up.
There you go.
Oh, bless him.
Yeah.
As a mother of sons.
That breaks my heart.
Yeah.
Pooh bags are normally for dogs.
Yeah.
Not.
I've got a really...
I just always worry.
We've got sons.
I always want to be like...
I don't want to tell them to freak them out,
but I want to say sometimes I want to go
if you shit yourself at school
people will remember when you're 40
don't fucking do it
don't do it
so many things I want to go look with the benefit of hindsight
I'm telling you now I spot people and I still remember
that they shat themselves at school
maybe that's because I'm petty
but you know
Just whisper that into his ear every night
Don't shit yourself at school
I was really quickly going to say it
I know that you do the dog podcast with
Oh yes
Or my dog
Because we all have to have to
have a podcast.
I've got two.
I've had two.
So I've got for two.
And I've got,
oh my dog with legend,
Jack D.
Yes.
And we just discuss dogs, basically.
Well, if we,
we haven't got a dog.
No.
We like one when the kids are older.
What should we get,
do you think?
Yeah.
You know us now.
Oh.
What kind of dog do you think we should get?
Do you go,
do you like greenery, big walks?
Yes.
I imagine, do you know what?
Why do I think you two would like a big dog?
Have I got that wrong?
Because we've got little people syndrome.
Right.
Yeah.
No.
Like a big dog. I don't want a little dog.
No.
If I'm going to do it, we're going to do it probably.
Also, keep in mind
the fact that we actually have got quite a
decent garden so we could
just throw a ball and let it run up and
down the garden. You'd love a dog, man.
I know. I love a dog. So my theory is
that a man gets a dog when his kids stop hugging
them. That's my theory. That's a good theory.
Yeah. That works.
Yeah. We'd love a golden retriever, but the
mould too much. The mold.
Okay.
The hair of the hair. Yeah, by the way, the
problem is with, oh, my dog, is what's
happen. I don't know if you find this with
topics that you cover on your pod.
It's really sweet. You know, we do a podcast
about dogs and then
people come up to you and they want to talk to you about
their dogs. But I think they've
given me a bit more respect than I deserve.
I don't retain
anything that is said
on the pod. So even you
they're going, what dog should we get? It's like, I
have a cockapoo and
I don't, I pay it, a sausage dog
that's the other one I know. I
don't retain anything.
Utley pointless, asking it.
Thank you. Thank you so much.
So it's a comedy podcast, not a factual dog podcast.
No, no, no, it's very much a comedy pod.
It's very fun.
Yeah, and what's important is, I think,
and this is really nice, what people like about it is,
you can have it on in the car when the kids are in the car.
Oh, that's good.
No swearing.
It's very family-friendly, day-time.
And then Class clown.
Sounds fucking shit.
It's for cussies, basically.
But I do another one called Class clown,
which is kind of really fun and funny,
but it's also, it's basically,
I mainly get comedians on,
even though I've had like Jill Scott and Boy George,
I mainly get comedians,
and that's just joining,
I think it's really interesting,
it's something I've always wanted to know,
it's joining the dots between one's childhood
and the success and, say, the artist they become to be.
So, you know, I'd love to have you on.
You come on and you just talk about,
how did we end up here where you are,
but based on your childhood.
and the things, the patterns that you begin to see,
how much I've learned from listening to comedians for over a year now,
it's all become expected.
I'm like, oh, right, yeah, that's what happened to.
Yeah, I bet it's all quite similar.
Yeah, it is.
It's very interesting.
Well, thank you so much.
Thank you so much.
We're a big fan to yours, so thank you.
I'm only don't do this, but I'm only doing it because I know how uncomfortable it'll make you.
Sean is on tour now, and I'm going to look at me,
genuinely a phenomenal stand-up comedian.
Oh, bless you.
That's very sweet.
That did embarrass me.
He's actually got better.
No, that's really like that way.
You too.
He would have folded an half, 10 year ago.
We saw your last show in Edinburgh.
I remember you came.
I could have believed it.
But back at you as well.
Oh, I don't.
Don't.
He doesn't need it.
Yeah, he's got big enough of ego.
If anything, that wasn't enough of a compliment,
back at you was a little bit lazy, I'm going to be honest with it.
I said amazing, incredible.
And always been as well, you know.
It's been a pleasure.
Thank you so much.
Legends.
Thank you so much.
Do do do do do.
