Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Please Keep Me Anonymous with Stevie Martin

Episode Date: March 4, 2026

On the podcast this week is actor, comedian, podcaster and Rosie's Taskmaster buddy, Stevie Martin! Chris, Rosie and Stevie cover all sorts of topics including veganism, awkward encounters, life at the Edinburgh Fringe and the efficacy of cough medicine! Plus, Stevie reads an out one of YOUR awkward encounters in this week's PKMA. To catch Stevie's show 'Clout' go to steviemartin.com for tickets! If you want to get involved and have your stories and voice notes included on the podcast then get in touch! 📧: [e-mail] 📱: 07874 406650 You can watch the podcast on the Shagged Married Annoyed YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@shagged.married.annoyed⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, you are watching and all listening to Shagmurid. Please keep me anonymous. On this week's episode, we are joined by my friend, Stevie Martin. Ooh, friend. Task Master alumni. Yes. Massive. She's just so, so lush, and she's got a new hair colour, and it's just a lovely conversation. And, yeah, and that's true. Make sure you watch on YouTube to catch the hair colour. Yeah, she was on talking about our tour. Yes. Critically acclaimed and sold out debut UK tour has been extended for the second time to 100 dates with more shows added in autumn 2026.

I've seen it. It's really good. Yeah, yeah. Tickets at steviemorton.com. She's got two dates at London's Bloomsbury Theatre in April. Lovely venue, yeah. So yeah, she's just really funny. We had a really, really good chat. Again, it was one of them ones where at times I probably could have nipped out and probably done a bit chop and come back.

They wouldn't have known that I'd gone. But I tried to contribute wearing when I could. I wish you had, but you obviously stuck around and then, but you have to get going now because, You're going to miss your flight. Bruce's things I'm dressed for holidays. Christmas, off to the Canary. Right, I went to Marks and Spencers to buy clothes for this recording today,

and I don't know why the shops do it, but in January they put all the new stuff is all the holiday stuff, and I don't know why. But then guess what, lo and behold, and they all do this, not just Marks and Spencers, or you don't dare go in in July and try and buy a shirt like this for your holidays because it will not be available in July. I'll just be fucking woolly jumpers and jackets.

Listen, subscribe on YouTube if you're watching it and where you get your podcasts and thank you and good luck with your winter and autumn shop and whenever you're doing it. Just do it online. It's a nice colour. Oh yeah, yeah. Keep digging.

Keep digging when you see you. We had a fight about the jingle. We couldn't settle on a jingle. Jingle on. So this is the jingle jingle. Hope you like the jingo. Jinggo.

Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, ba. Jingo! Listen, I need to tell you this, right? I was going to save this for our podcast, but seen as we're talking about prescription drugs, I went to the chemistry other day, and we've all been a bit under the weather, me and the kids. And I've got the kids some cough medicine, right?

I've heard of it, yeah. Yeah. He said it like, cough medicine. She said it like it was a brand new thing. Yeah. Yeah, like a brandy thing. got some paracetamol am I saying that right

Paracetamol Paracetomol Just new for France Parcetamine Parasetamil Parcetamil Coth Benson Yeah

Got it got it Got it got it You got the kids Some cough Benson And the pharmacists said there was She went Are you sure you want this

I went I went yeah The kids have got a cough She went It actually doesn't do anything It's really just sugar What? Oh

Is that just speaking with B Is it that one That's really sweet So I was really taken aback And I thought Okay and I went Oh it's fine though I'll still have it I googled

Honey and Glissorin Is it that? It's all of the So basically And I googled Does cough syrup do anything No Some must

It does It does not It said It does nothing What? It does nothing Why are we doing it? I don't know

Big farmers It's a complete Scam That's worth If you buy enough of it you can make meth. Great. But maybe a bomb as well,

but that's irrelevant. Yeah. And also don't quote me on that. No, no, you said it. I'm saying it. Some better drill. Bomb. Steve's new to a cough bomb.

I just explain how I do it. And if you want to do it, you can. Or not. But yes. So what you meant to do? It just does nothing. It's just... But what are you meant to do if you have a cough?

Like hot water and honey and lemon drink. But the actual cough syrup, and I think now they legally have to say it to you. It was so weird. Do you want this? It won't do anything. Just she literally was like, just to let you know, this won't do anything. Did you buy it? Well, stupid.

I was like, no, it's coffee. It's coffee. I'm guessing she's not, she doesn't work on, she doesn't work on, what's it cool? I can't even think of the choice. Commission? Yeah. No, it was. It was the maddest interaction I ever had.

Saw any cough medicine again today? No, so none. Have you been telling them that it does nothing? Yeah, I've been telling that. That's why we haven't fucking sold any. Well, they're not going to. Get in the stop room. Get in the stock room.

If you're listening or watching now, just Google does soft, because coughs don't do anything and it'll say, no. It's wild. Can I just see? Disclea, Matt, for Charbonoids, some cough medicines may do something. No, it's said. No, it's just. Rosie spoke with one woman in the pharmacist who sounds like she was,

it sounds like it was our last day. I'm going to be honest with it. Can we Google it? Can somebody Google it out there? I don't have a phone on me. I'm professional. It doesn't do anything. Kind of right, yeah, he says you're kind of right

He's giving it a bit of that Yeah, kind of right But suede Brull my mind It's not cough syrup That's why Absolutely brilliant Yeah, wow

But you've died your hair It looks lovely On that topic Yeah I took some cough syrup For my hair Went brown Yeah I've done my hair I've gone brunette

Have you ever been for ages And I've just like This is my natural That's not But this is sort of my natural colour Yes So I was like I'll get more serious

Parts now Or any parts You look really In anything Sophisticated. Thank you. I think immediately it is bad, but you just, it looked like a, like a library, like I could be a librarian. No, I love it. I could tell you about a book. I really like, you look really smart, really sophisticated, dare I say, grown up. It's aged it in a really positive way. Apart from when you do that. It's aged me in a really positive way. In a really positive way.

Wow. Okay, great. In a really good way. If it was a bob, it would be too much. Too much. Don't bob it just yet. The long gives me at least a few years off. Can we again take a moment to just contemplate how different that would have went if I said that to you. I would have stood up and punched you. Yeah, she would have punched us, you would have punched us. Someone would have punched us through the screen.

Yeah. You can't. We've talked about this before. You're not allowed a comment on people's. I'm not allowed to comment at all on women. Even in my compliment and she goes a bit weird. I wouldn't mind that. Last night I was doing a gig with Pierre Novelli

and I liked his shacket. And I said, I like your jacket and he said, great. And then I said, great. And then I did something and then some gig stuff, comedy. And then he came back and he was like, I think this is a compliment that he gave me, which now I feel embarrassed saying because I'm saying a compliment. But he gave me a compliment about how I was dressed. And he was like, you do tend to look really nice.

Your clothes look really. And I was like, great, you just take that. It's not creepy. No. So Chris could say that. Well, yeah, no, he probably could. She just more, she just gets a more funny way. No, okay.

You say it in a crazy way. Yes. Okay, you've got to the bottom of it and you've got your sick out and you start wanking. And then I add something on the end about the clothes would look better on the floor, which I've stopped doing,

but I do imply it with my eyes. No. Yeah, you totally can. You can compliment. But I don't think you're that, oh, no, I don't want to offend you. Oh, come on. You're going to say,

I don't give off any sexual vibes at all so no one thinks I'm ever trying to hit on them ever. I just said stuff like that before. She says no, I've heard it all before. Well, I mean, I know that you're married. I also don't know when people are flirting, so that upsets her as well. Oh, I don't know. I don't either.

Yeah. I've got in some situations. Have you? Yeah. I mean, not really. I mean, just that sounds really intense. I've just been on dates and I've been like, oh, that was a date. I thought we were like, we'd made friends at the Edinburgh fringe and we were going to be friends.

Oh, I know. And I've said it at the date. It's great to get to make fringe friends. Anyway, I'm seeing this guy and they've been like, I thought this was a date. I was like, I haven't twice. Shut the foot Read twice And I was like 30

I don't know anything Like no I'm really bad at it You should have not Nobody's floated with me For years Again it's very clear that you're married You know your brand is you are married

But still it would be nice It would be nice I'll float be a bit Yes please I'm straight but I could not be Because I'm wearing boots That is That is what

Did they not give you a gear card With your boots? Yeah Did they not get it? Did they not hand it over with it? Because they're supposed to hand the cake on with the boots. So many people have said that, though. And there was like, I'm not very Ophay with sort of being talked about online.

Oh, Stevie don't look. Well, oh, no, it was quite good stuff. Someone sent it to me and it's quite funny. The good stuff turns to bad very quick. I don't do it. I will never look. I will never Google myself. I have done it once.

Maybe twice. But it was quite bad. But on TikTok, there was all of these, like, people saying, basically presuming I'm gay. And they're like, she's married to a man. And then people would be like, it's the Doc Martins. And it was like, I'm wearing trousers on television.

That's what's happened. Yeah. It's wild. We've got rid of the 1950s skirt and then they all think everyone's gay. Everyone's gay. Gosh, yeah. She didn't breastfeed a child once on telly.

She must be gay. She's a queer icon. How long have you been married? How long have you been queer? I thought you were going to say, how long have you been gay? Yeah. No. No.

Two, three years. Three years, yes. Yes, we got married and then the year later we had the party, so I often get confused. And it's in that weird 2020 to 2020-23 and it didn't really exist those years for me. Psychologically. Quiet wedding. Yes, yes. Very quiet.

How long had you been together before you got married? Eight years. Oh, okay. 11 years now. Nice. Nice. Nice. We'll not talk about him too much because Chris gets upset

because your husband did beat Chris in the Edinburgh Comedy Award. He gives a shit. Chris really. Back then, yeah, yeah, but not now. Yours is 10 grand. He literally always made 10 grand. That was the prize.

I think, yeah, well, that's fine. I mean, you're doing quite well. So, I think you're right. He's still really upset about that. It'll never be enough. I'm joking. Nick Helm always makes jokes about it as well. It is funny because, like, yeah,

Adam didn't want to be a comedian and just sort of started doing it. Stevie, that makes it worse. I know. But what I think is it should be all right about it is you couldn't be more different. You weren't going up against each other, really. I loved he's sure. And I've always thought he was fantastic. Yeah, well, he says to say about you.

Because obviously we're talking, but yeah, he's brilliant. Like he loves stand-up. And so like, but it's just, it's so odd that there's that category that's just like, everybody goes in together. You know, how can you, you know, at my husband for anyone who doesn't know just like, character stuff and he does plays now and he was not a stand-up so you can't compare yeah it's like comparing a drag into some yoghurt i get it but i'm not part of the fringe life it's not no it's not my life that's very cool you've just you and fatia have just completely you could do an hour of stand-up now in like massive rooms and stuff you absolutely could obviously

and you didn't even need to do the horrors of the fringe but i have to add the country's social clubs so i feel like i've put my You know what I mean? I've done my bit. Oh, you've done the hard yards anyway. But in a different way. I think the fringe would have been a lot more fun. Yeah, maybe.

Maybe you would have liked it. Maybe I'm not a big French. I don't know. Yeah, I like it as a place, but I really struggle psychologically there. Really? Yeah, it turns me into all the bad parts of, like, it makes me, like, jealous,

or it makes me, and I'm not really like that. And I have thoughts that I'm like, oh, and I'm like that. And I have to, like, come off social media and, ugh. Reviews and stuff and things, going on and yeah. Have I ever told you, Rosie? I don't think Rosie's heard this. This just popped in your head.

It's mortifying. I didn't realize when I first ever went to the fringe just to do, I think I was doing a package show. I didn't realize that people didn't read their reviews. Not all people read all of their reviews. And I bumped into a comedian who I, me and Ed Gamble were standing, and I bumped into a comedian who I really admired. And I'd seen his show and his show was amazing.

But I'd read a review and the review was three stars. Jesus Oh no Chris. This is what I mean. No, this is going back to the commenting thing. This is what I mean, no, this is what you mean.

No, this is what you means. Chris would never say, oh, that's a lovely jacket, Stevie. He'd say something just fucking really offensive in a compliment. So carry on with your story. Yeah. I said, and as soon as he came up my mouth,

I realised and Gamble was die and laughing. I said, I loved your show. I thought it was amazing. I think that review, I just got the wrong end of the stick. Incredible. And he went, what? And I went, as soon as I said it, I went, oh, fuck.

Yeah. And he went, are you, are you just telling me that I got a bad review? And I went, but, and Gamble says, I just stood there going, well, well, Noah. And he was just like, he was gone. Why would you do that? I wasn't, I was dead. Like, I was nervous. Like, I'd met this guy, the comedian was amazing.

And I was a big fan and I thought he sure was fantastic. And I thought it was an injustice. And I want to let him know he was on his side. And it wasn't until I saw her look in his eyes. thought, oh, you haven't fucking read this. Oh my God. It's a death. I did that to Lindsay Lohan.

What? What did you do? I got, so I've never been, I've been to the Groucho once, that fancy members club. And it was when she was in that play speed the plow or something. It's called The Plow or something. And she'd got absolutely mauled in reviews. And I got really drunk and went over to a table and went, hey, you're great.

Fuck all that impress, actually. She was like, oh. Then I like, someone to when I was like, she might not have seen how bad everyone thought she was in that show. But now she has. Oh my God. These are trolls. French friends. You're our real life trolls.

We are accidental trolls with good intentions. Yeah. Which I find is, yeah. What do you relate to people and try to be, you know, friendly? The worst bit for Lindsay Lohan is she had to listen to those Doc Martins slamming across the room for a long time before she even came over and said hello. It's like the beginning of fucking, it's like beginning. and a dinosaurs. I love her and trust.

And she had so many people around her as well, all heard it. What made you go up to her? I was so drool-closey. And I was excited to be in the Groucho and she was there and I was like, she'll love this.

I remember thinking like, she'll love this. I'm going to make a connection with her. It's like I think Britney Spears would be my friend. Like I'm like, I think me and Britney Spears, I think what she did is me specifically. I'll just, I'll sort it out That woman doesn't need me.

Does that ever wake up in the middle of the night? What, Britney Space needs me? Like that, I had an interaction. I was really young and it was a film premiere. How are they, I don't even know how I got invited, right? I don't know who I, I think I was doing Panto. Anyway, it was at Newcastle. And Billy Zane was there with Kelly Brook, right?

Billy Zane from Titanic. Billy Zane from Titanic. Yeah. A Kelly Brook from, you know. And Kelly Brook from Kelly Brook fame. Amazing. I was going to say from the magazine. She's done loads of great things.

From the Teenage Boys' Wars? I can't name more things, but there are more things. It was years ago. She was, I mean, she's still delicious now. I swear to God. Because of the month, she's so fit. Yeah, she's gorgeous. But this was prime.

She was oiled. Oh, fuck me. Going out with the movie star, like she was with him. I was 18, I think. And I was so drunk. And during a conversation that we were all sort of huddled around with Billy Zane and Kelly Brook, I poured soft of my drink into a plant pot.

Why? I don't know. Because I was so, like, I've told you, I've told you about the plant pot, so drunk poured it into a plant pot. And now looking back, I think, I thought nobody noticed. Wait, but.

Sorry, I think, so you missed, you were trying to pour into your own glass and you missed it. No, I knew that I was so drunk, so I had to get rid of some of my drink. So while everyone, I was like, pouring it into a plant pot on the slide. And sometimes I wake up with the night going,

oh God. Did Billy Zane notice you pouring it into a plant pot? I can't remember. But probably. I like to think you reached over him. I like that. In my head, it was like a record scratch. Like, you know, silence.

And everyone just looked at it. And so we're just going. Yeah, no. Excuse me, Kelly Brooke. Can I just? You know what you should have said if they're all caught you? One for me dead homies. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo.

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No. I'm not even going on tour So anyway I am I'm about to start So I did the first leg And then I'm having a little break And then I'm doing the second leg

And then we've extended it again in autumn Question Yes Are you going to change your clothes What before? In general I have a joke That needs me to have the same time

Right okay She wears the same outfit for every night Every night But it's because of that joke Yes I have to do it Of course I can't wait to not

I know. I can't wait to expand my... Have you bought any multiples of the same outfit yet? No, because it's a Real Madrid, like, top that now, from years ago, that now is like 350 quid or something. So if I break that, lose that, then... You're not. It's gone. It's gone. It's going to stick.

Like, no, I know you're going to wash it. It's going to... No, stink. It's going to stink. She was going to say a stink. Yeah, I do wash it quite regularly. I know you wash it, but like, over so many times. Yeah. And on stage.

It gets that point where you're like, oh, I'm washing. washing in it still smells off. Yeah. I honestly smell like incredible whenever I put that on because I'm so worried about that that I'll be. Because afterwards people say hi

and you give them a hug and then you're like, oh God, imagine if I, yeah, no, I'm gonna, yeah,

I can't wait to do another show just so I can just wear different tops. I have a different stuff. I do like a uniform though. I would like to wear a uniform. I'd love a uniform every day. Right.

What would it be? Peanut Griffin, green pants and a white shirt. Jason Man, did this wore the same thing every day. Yeah, he did, didn't he?

Yes, he does. He's got a uniform. I found that very interesting. Yeah. Same for the tasks. Same for the studio. We had exactly the same one the whole time.

And every time he does anything, he does it. And people came to my tour dressed as him, but I didn't notice because it's such an innocuous outfit. Did the mean do? Yeah. There was like a young guy who's like maybe 14, maybe. And he was wearing him. And he had glasses on. It's like, that's just a guy in a shirt and jeans with glasses on.

Yeah. You're not a vampire. Like a young white guy from Bath. I'm not like, Jason. Like it's not. And then the one time you do. it, they'll go, who? Yeah.

You're wearing a shirt. But it is, it's good, I like that. But I mean, I sort of have that to an example. Like, I only really wear black and white ever. And that's quite helpful. So I'm not like, what goes with what. Yeah. But in terms of a uniform, yeah, I don't have that.

I do love clothes, but I did enjoy wearing a uniform for school. Just sort of like, not having a thing. Yeah, I did. Even though I never wanted to. Did you like roll the skirts up? Do they really, like, small, thick tie? What was that? That was just our generation.

I know. The bit the knot had to be sort of, it's like a chode tie. Uh-huh. Like it had to be wider than it was. A lot. A lot of tie is so good. Yeah. So true.

I mean like, this looks cool. You're like, it was like mad. Were you allowed to wear trousers or did you have to wear a skirt? You could wear trousers, but no one did. Because if you did, you were like a lesbian or whatever. And I've almost really mean about it. We had meetings to try and wear trousers. That's great.

Yeah, but it never happened. Was your school, your respect. of schools part of the gigantic controversy that was the trousers with the skirt attached. Oh yes, we did. We didn't. Absolute fucking hell on in my school.

What's going on? Hell on in my school. I mean, I used to wear them. What were they called? Trots. I do believe they were called abominations. No, it had to put my name, didn't it? I call them what they were called. But it was literally, yeah.

I don't want to sound like I'm sort of a lady in a man's body pretended to not be, but I think they were from Tammy. Oh my God, Tammy, yeah. I think you got on from Tammy. Oh my God. And it was Black Chalers with the thing with the top. And I remember the headmaster in assembly going like, yeah,

and their bandies aren't allowed to wear them. And I remember thinking, well, you can pick a skirt or you pick try out. Why not wear both? I don't understand why not? Yeah, I got really upset about a lot of things, didn't it? Do you know what I feel in Tammy girl? Right? I think that was cool.

She's too excited. Just like, oh my God. Too many great deals. How many bangles? Oh. I actually had a really bad virus, to which I think, I know when you go, I was a mental kid. Because I think I told me friends I had meningitis. I thought everyone had swine flu at uni and I didn't.

I got Tammy flu delivered by someone under the door. She had a cold. I don't know why I did it. And the moment I was like, I can't take that back. I can't take that back. What did you do to stay in your room and oinked? Yeah, genuinely. Everyone was like, I just said it once.

Like, I think I've got swine flu. I was like, well, I've said it now, so I'll roll with it. Thank you for that. I'll be better than a few days. You can't laugh about swine flu a lot of people actually do. Really bad. Really terrible. But I just had a cold.

Oh, yeah. So you told. I had a really bad cold. I was like, I nearly died. Because of all. Me Nana took us to the seal, to Tammy girl. And it was like the day after her box in me. Oh, it's just so.

She's mad. And I collapsed. And that collapsed. I had to go to hospital. And then, it turned into a Dorothy Perkins and I got a job there. It's so much going on. And it had the same manageress.

And I was like, I faint here when I was a kid. She was like, was like, at Christmas I went, that was me. I had a virus. Also, I like that you, you thought that fainting and cracking head open to things so we have to go to hospital was not enough drama. I know, no, I know. I also have meningitis. Yeah, that's what it was.

There was something where everyone would put glasses on them all the time. Yeah, just to check what it was. Yeah. And they'd always disappear and I'd be a bit disappointed. Heat rash. Just a heat rash. Just a heat rash. Or just a spot.

Or just your skin, you know. Yeah. I don't think we don't think. We don't think we do that anymore. You have stopped doing that. We don't do it with the kids. I don't think I've ever done the meningitis glass roll. Interesting.

Yeah, I know. And they've had a rash. They've had loads of rashes. God. But like, one, one, you know, really good. Right. When you've got little kids, really good, just to speak to someone and they're like, what's it look like? What happens when you press it and all this kind of stuff?

It's really very good service, 1-1-1-1. Well, where was it that time when you had a really bad throat? And she told you to eat crisps. Who told you to eat crisps? Remember? You went to a walking centre. You went to a walking centre or you phone mum-1-1. No, no.

And the said, can I remember, the set. You know what I think it was Gary Lillica. I need it, now I'm joking. They said, eat crisps and swallow it, so it scratches you throw it on the way of down and gets rid of it all. Remember, someone said that to you once. Seen all my memory, probably.

Yeah, and I remember thinking, get a second opinion, because that sounds like absolute fucking tomfoolery. Yeah, and if you're going to do that, you use like a sourdough crust. Yeah, this was before sourdough. This was before your sourdough wasn't. Was that down where?

Piping then, yeah, this was, yeah, knick-knacks and Doritos. Are you not talking about when I ate them the fish with the little bones? and you're meant to eat like, no, no,

not a bread for it. No. What? What's going on? There's a fish that I love with little bones

but then I read on when I ate it and then I read online you meant I have loads of bread with it. Just sit me two seconds just there. The way should be set that up right?

There's a fish that I love with little bones and the way she said it it sounded like the next sentence was going to be where is it money sweet can have an operation. It's a fish I love very much.

Close me eyes, got little bones and we're raising money for China raise £250,000. We're just sending him to America for a bigger, a bigger bone operation. Stretch him out. You know. And you're not meant to eat the bones. No, so you can.

You can fully eat the fish. Okay. It's a really known one. It's like, it's like white bait or something. Right. No, it's not even that. It's like you're really well-known fish. Oh my God.

I got it from Marxies in a packet in a vacuum packed packet with a star bit of butter and then you put it in the microwave or you boil it and then you eat it. But anyway, yeah, you can eat the bones but you're meant to eat it with like bread so that the bones don't like stab you so they're kind of go into the bread and digest in your stomach with the bread. I know. But I didn't know this. And I eat off and I've fucking raw dog the full thing.

And then I was getting, oh, I feel a bit funny. Boney. Boney. And it was my mum who was like, do you not have any bread? I was like, no. Asophagus was like a gamer cup lunk. Oh my gosh. Does everyone know this? You've got sweet bread with small lown fish? I didn't know. I didn't know it. Do you know this? No, I didn't know this.

Right, okay. I'm trying to work out like how, where this. I'm not eating stuff for bones in. I'm not eating stuff of bones in. I'm not. No, I don't want it. Yeah. I'm not eating stuff of bones in. Forget it. Get it out of my face. Is that why you went vegan? Because of that story. She's just gone vegan This second

How long have you been vegan? I've not eaten meat since I was like I remember being like two I must have been two because it was You remember being two Yeah because there was a little table that I would sit at before my sister was born And she was born when I was three

Or two and a half three No three And she and I had to have been two To be sat at this table Also like I was quite low down Do you know what I mean like Because I was two The sofa did look quite big in this memory

And so my mum served me fish My mum served me fish And I remember specifically saying I saw something in this tune I remember being like Is that a fish like flounder in the little mermaid And I saw my mum's face Being like yeah

And then I like threw a massive belly I just could not I never know And they're like chicken is chicken They were like yeah And thankfully I'd never eaten a sausage I've never eaten a sausage in my life. Or a burger.

Isn't that wild? In your entire life? Because I didn't like them when I was little. Okay, so, all right. I was like, well, that's, so you're like fully blown. Because I used to have a friend who was vegetarian, very vegetarian, but pissed, she will Yeah, down a cheeseburger. I've got a friend who's a vegetarian, but if she sees a really good steak place that only

does steak, then she will have a steak at the place. Right. And that's fine, though. That's fine. That's been extrapolated to, like, any meat. Like, well, if that's known for that meat, then I'll have it there. Yeah, I get that because that's a good quality meat. But I, yeah, I don't eat meat.

Like, I just don't. But I did eat dairy up until I was like, like, 2015 was when I realized I couldn't have dairy. So it was like, well, I might as well just be vegan then because it's just easier. I do eat eggs when they're from a farm. And I mean, like, not from the shop. As in like, there's a farm around the corner from where I live. And then when I'm pissed, I have mayonnaise. Good for you.

I treat myself. Good for you. Oh, my God. wild party animal you are. A tiny bit of mayonnaise. A tiny bit, do you love it though? I love me a nose. What do you put it on?

Sometimes, well, there was a period of time that was quite dark that was stirring it into kidney beans. You did this on off menu? I know, yeah. I didn't do it, but I spoke of it. I spoke of it. I've stopped doing that now. Were they warm or cold?

Cold, just drain them a bit and then like put it in and then a bit of tomato sauce and then you've got yourself a thousand dial and dress. With protein Marine rose Oh my god I would have ate that Yeah I would have eat that

It's actually done When you're drunk, it's quite nice But I love kidney beans But they're hard when they're in the tin Yeah I don't mind Oh fuck no Oh no You've got it

Do you know I bought Jarred like butter beans Butter beans? Oh my God They're delicious Mealy They're like well You wouldn't have like this

I put them in a sausage stew I put them in a sausage Yeah Split the sausage down Put them in the sausage. Put them in a sausage. Do you know what? So my opinion on veganism and all that,

I actually think, great, do it, but I think you shouldn't, like, it ends up becoming sort of like, oh, how can I word this? I think if you, if you want to have a day where you don't,

that's absolutely fine. I agree. Do you know what I mean? I don't think people should go, I am this and I can't ever, ever. You just completely disagree. I think you've picked your side and I think any vegan eating meat should be

immediately arrested. Okay. No one. I'm totally kidding. It's true. I think, yeah, a lot of people, because me and Lou Sanders have got this, like,

Instagram thing called vegans in your regions, and we just do stupid, vegan content, and it's just really silly. And we do get lots of people being like, sorry, sometimes I do eat meat,

I'm really sorry, but I just, you know, like, that's fine. That's actually fine. It's a really good, like, vegan cheddar. Vegan cheddar's really hard to get,

right, so they haven't really nailed that, apart from Cathedral City, have nailed it. I don't know if I can say a brand on here, but, She's as many brands as you want. Great.

That's all I can think of. Cathedral City. That's it. And they do a really good vegan one. But Lou doesn't like it and doesn't think we should promote it because they also do normal cheese. But I'm like, come on. She just hates animals. She's allergic to cruelty, as she says.

Oh, okay. Because I am allergic to dairy, so that's a big part of it. Right. Got you. But yeah. I know what you mean like live and live. Tell Lou, even though we do eat meat, we now go to the butchers. I don't think that's relevant.

Okay. I just... I want to know that it's ethically sourced. Yeah, I don't think... She'll still be upset. Yeah, well, I don't know if a... I think butchers is quite ill-intense. I would say the thing that unites most people

that don't eat meat is they don't like the concept of butchers and... Listen, just don't tell her anything. I won't. Don't worry. Tell her how much I was seeing that butter beans are nice. Bobbing's nice. I'm trying to make friends. I'm trying to make friends.

She's great. She's really great. And I just, yeah. Because when you're the thing that people get so upset about and the thing that we do every day, it's not you. You don't want to be, but I love meat. She's not upset about people that eat meat. Like I think it's just like, you know,

and I'm not either. I'm very aware that we're just like, society's not going to get there. And it's also it's hard and it's fine. And I get that thing of like eating good quality meat rather than, you know. Yes. I don't know wherever's in supermarkets or whatever.

But it's very funny to try to make friends with a vegan by being like, I've gone to the butcher's. I'm like, okay. Okay. I hope you're impressed by the fact that I've gone to that place where all of the parts of the slaughtered animals are kept cold. Yeah. I've gone there and I've looked through the glass

and I've looked through the glass and I've selected the bit of the animal that I wanted it and then I've went home and then I've cooked that dead animal and then I've ate it. Yeah, there's less cognitive distance. Lou, Lou, why are you walking away? Lou, why? Lou, come back.

A potter, pot to be in a sausage. Lou. It had a lovely life. It was on the film. Yeah. It wasn't cooked. No. But do we know that?

We just can't ever know. You're never going to know, are you? We're never going to know. And we can't and we mustn't. And I think they're all really happy. And that's not true. No, I know. Anyway.

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Eligibility restrictions apply. See golden nugget casino.com for details. Please play responsibly. Babadoo, babadoo, babadu, ba. Listen, you've got questions. I've got a question. Well, a story. There never questions these days.

There's not. There may be questions. Okay. I really like your hair that color, you know. I'm honestly thrilled. And also I noticed it made me sit like this more. Do you know what? You look richer?

this is wild so all these things though you could say that you're saying that blonde so you're saying blonde people are thick poor maybe not vegan you just really suits you

it's really nice sophisticated I think when you go to your actual colour I think it does always suit you why would it not? I went dark I went back to my natural colour I was so depressed I couldn't look in the mirror

yeah that was bad I bet you looked nice but you must have felt that's coming from you didn't like it you didn't like it you really do so sweet blonde. It's a good vibe for you. Hi, Chris and Rosie.

Hi. Please keep me anonymous. Okay. Me and my partner, I was going to just come up with a name that's a first name and a last name then, but I'm not going to do that. Me and my partner had found out I was pregnant and were so excited to tell our friends and family. We invited his mum and dad over to tell them the good news. They were sitting side by side on our sofa

and I handed my father-in-law a gift bag with a baby grow inside. So his mouth fell wide open when he opened it and my mother-in-law burst into happy tears. However, what happened next was not how I had pictured this magical moment in my mind. My father-in-law was in a state of shock. Very excited, of course, but clearly quite overwhelmed. So overwhelmed, in fact, that as I bent over to give my mother-in-law a big hug,

she was still sitting on the sofa, my father-in-law, who clearly didn't know what to do with himself, proceeded to guess. As in you guess, he didn't guess. I know what he's done. What's he done? He slapped her on the arse. He's so excited he slapped her on the ass.

Who's he slept on the ass? He slapped his daughter-in-law on the ass. He's got on love, he slapped her on the ass. Am I right? Yeah. Why did you guess him? Have you not? That's concerning.

Oh my God. No, but that means that you would... Why did you go there? Because in my head, I quickly put myself in his shoes and I quickly thought, as we were talking about earlier, being mortified about something you've done and thinking about it later on, I quickly put myself in my shoes and thought,

what would be the most mortifying thing I went to the most mortifying but I thought no no I thought the most mortifying was as she bent over I went but that that one went that was a tits

but then I thought no he's going to slap her on the ass and that's like yeah that is mortifying that is absolutely mortifying that is bad my father-in-law who clearly didn't know what to do

with himself proceeded to land a great big slap of his hand across my ass while exclaiming Jesus Christ that It's for the burn. It's really good.

She got spanked. I got spanked by my father-in-law. I was so surprised that I couldn't even react, so chose not to acknowledge it. Oh my God. Ignore it. It's even worse. Until later when they had left,

and I told my partner, we found it hilarious and put it down to a state of overwhelm. I've never brought it up with him since. That's brilliant. For context, I must say this, my in-laws are wonderful, and I bloody love them. Oh, well, there you go.

That's nice. She should wait until he tells her anything and then slap him on the eyes. ass. Oh, cup is balls. Oh my God. Yes.

Yes. Yeah. God Lord. I've got a promotion at work. Way! Get him. Amazing. Amazing.

They've been spanked by Father-in-law. Not recently, no. That's good. That's nice. You would remember. Oh.

Thank you so much. Thank you for coming on. We're going to, we'll do all of your promotion stuff at the beginning. Of course, yeah. But I've seen your show and it was absolutely fantastic. Oh yes, you have seen it.

You can speak from my heart. So now I can actually be real and honest about it and tell you all at all of course. So thank you so much. I'm sweating. I've laughed so much. Lovely chatting. That was so funny.

Yeah, oh yeah, fully. She's off. She's gone. Getting ready for a game means being ready for anything. Like packing a spare stick. I like to be prepared. That's why I remember 988, Canada's suicide crisis help line. It's good to know just in case.

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