Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Please Keep Me Anonymous with Tom Rosenthal

Episode Date: April 22, 2026

On this week's podcast Chris and Rosie Ramsey are joined by actor and comedian, Tom Rosenthal! As well as bonding over Golf, Chris and Tom discuss their love for Arctic Monkeys and reminisce over Comedy Roast Battle. Tom explains Philosophy to Rosie and the trio discuss the pros and cons of AI. You can catch Tom on tour with his stand-up show ‘Whatever People Say I Am, That’s What I Am’, including London’s Clapham Grand on the 14th May 2026, for tickets visit tomrosenthal.net If you want to get involved and have your stories and voice notes included on the podcast then get in touch! 📧: [e-mail] 📱: 07874 406650 You can watch the podcast on the Shagged Married Annoyed YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@shagged.married.annoyed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

There's more to life than finding the perfect car. But finding the perfect car can help you get the most out of life. Like the SUV that handles everything from drop off to off road, and the car that hulls groceries and hockey teams, or the van that's gone from just practical to practically family. Whatever you want, wherever you're going, start your search at autotrater.ca. Canada's car marketplace.

This episode is brought to you by Tellus Online Security. Oh, tax season is the worst. You mean hack season? Sorry, what? Yeah, cybercriminals love tax forms. But I've got Tellus Online Security. It helps protect against identity theft and financial fraud so I can stress less during tax season or any season.

Plan started just $12 a month. Learn more at tellus.com slash online security. No one can prevent all cybercrime or identity theft. Conditions apply. Hello, you are listening to and watching. Please keep me anonymous, Shagmary Annoit. Part of the Shagmary Anoid. I'm not seeing it every single time.

Please, man, it gets funnier with repetition. That's how jokes work. This week we have the fantastically funny Tom Rosenthal. Tom is a very good friend of mine from years through stand-up comedy. He's currently on tour. You'll know him from Friday Night Dinner. You'll know him from PLEB's. You'll know him from Beating Me on Roast Battle on Comedy Central.

I was robbed, but we do talk about that. Oh, did he win? He won. Oh, nice, okay. Yeah. I can't remember it. We'll have to go back and watch it. It was a...

I'm not going to do that. We had a lovely chat. We had a lovely chat about it. It was lovely to see him again. We had he taught you all about philosophy. That was fun. Great. Very, very good.

You can see Rosie glaze over if you watch that on YouTube. He is on a 2026 tour titled, Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I Am, play on the Art of Monty's album. Tickets, Tom Rosentale. He's playing the Clapham Grand in London on the 14th of May. Again, tickets at tom rosenthal.net.

He's a very funny lad. It was really nice chap. Yeah, I'm over the moon that we've got a chat room again. Yeah, nice. Really good. Enjoy. If you're watching on YouTube,

please subscribe and like and all of that jazz. Big love. And all that, we had a fight about the jingle, Jing-Dong. We couldn't settle on a jingle, Jing-Dong.

So this is the Jingle Jing-Gong. Like the jingo do do do bado do babado do babado do bao jingo! You'll say as well as well as go all, you've got a platform. You shouldn't, no, no, no, no. My platform is to take people's minds off all at you. You're listening to Shagmagnoloid. You'll come to see my stand up because you don't want to think about all that new stuff

and all that bad stuff that's happening. I'm a rest bite, baby. Well, you do. Both of you have a very sort of positive impact on people's lives and they want to listen to you while they're doing other things and you've created a beautiful thing out of an incredible relationship that you clearly share.

And people don't want that to be interrupted with stories. I'm actually really glad you said that because Chris was late this morning and I fucking hate being late. Is it all the sham, is it? To be fair, you didn't say a word to each other off recording. You were glaring. I was about to say we're getting separate cars like Penn and Teller,

but we don't. We're getting the same car and I made our lake and just be the fucking dick about it all morning. Chris, right, okay. Do you want to go into it? Yeah, let's do it. Right, okay. Let's do it.

I don't know what time. We're going to see. We'll see. We'll see. If he wants to play on my golf simulator when he does Newcastle stand, he's going to be on my side, no matter what you see here.

I do you play golf as well. Shoot your shot. Yeah, yeah. Oh, Jesus Christ. He's coming to play at our house. It's genuinely my only goal in life these days is to have a golf simulator in my house and I can't believe that, you know.

Yeah, he's going to come as in mind. I'm going to wear me bore up Mancini and I'm going to chant, you'll never get this the entire time is there. Why is golf such a big thing with millennials? What's that all about? Personally, I used to play sports for actually active people. And then my knees just failed to such an extent that the only sport I can play

as a sport for 80-year-old men, which is golf, you know. Right, okay. I'm a deeply competitive person. And the only thing I can really actually put that into now, considering I don't play fantasy football is gold. What happened to your knees? Oh, they all snapped. They snapped multiple times.

How? Just football. My ACLs, I've got sort of very bad at ACLs. I was kind of better at football than my body should have been at football. So I kept doing fancy tricks and then just collapsing. And then people were going, oh, you're faking. No, I'm not. No, I've just got bad knees.

Do you know my mate's knee, like, go around the back? Yeah, my mate's knee. The bottoms and the tops went, and his knee cap went around the back and it ended up behind his knee. But just Saturday. Saturday League. Yeah. Sunday League, hung over.

Waste of time. Why are you doing it? It does sort of destroy your body and sadly... It's the direction changes, isn't this? It's the direction, the sprint and the stop and the sprint and the stop. And I have a fantasy of being a good footballer and I sort of dreamed of that as a child. And now that fantasy is just ported to being a good golfer essentially. I think all golfers have this sort of version of themselves that could play under par.

And you kind of see little glimmers of it occasionally, little shots. And I also have a kind of belief that if I got a golf simulator, that would bring me slightly closer to this dream version of myself. If you're already shooting the same as me, like breaking 90, I'm only doing that off relentless turns in the golf simulator so if you start, you'll go, if you're already at me, my level, you'll go even better. So I think you should do it.

Are you good now? Because you were shit. I'm all right now. I'm all right now. He can do it. He needs a partner that believes in his journey, okay? Oh, sorry, well, he's got the wrong partner. Because, no, I went to see his two-issue on Saturday. Bloody brilliant.

Did such a good job. I'm very proud of him. I will not praise him for his golf. No, it only goes. go so far. We were watching golf, right? You know, being a good dad. Fucking sport.

No, I won't. We were watching the Masters last year when Rory won the thing, right? And we're watching it. And they're literally like, obviously, you know, they're chipping it from the fucking fairway and they're dropping it within six inches of the hole. And I went, I went, look at these bastards men. Like, look at this.

Like, angry at how good they were. And she went, what's the matter with you? These are professional golfers. Why are you even getting angry at what they can do? I went because the thing with golf is, I can do that one in a hundred times. I can do what they. they do one in a thousand, one in two thousand hires, but you have done it and that's what's

so annoying about it. Sometimes you can do what they do, but not consistently. And that's why it's so annoying. That's why it's addictive. It gives you a little bit. It gives you a little bit of a whole thing. Some random member of the public, never done stand up, could get on stage and be funny than you once. Yeah. But they're an idiot if they think they could do it, like, consistently because it sort of does require. So we're essentially idiots going, we could be as good Golf is where we're back on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly.

I mean, yeah, my fiancé is sort of the same. She thought golf was like really lame, but then we watched that Netflix documentary about golf and she saw how much they earn. And now she's like, you know, it's actually kind of cool. You know, if you want to get into this, yeah. You can do that. You win a tournament, yeah, go ahead.

Oh, my God. If you're going to be professional and you're going to be that good, then I will support you 100%. Wow. Honestly, you are such a shallow person. What is it? What is it for?

Four. Is that the right thing? Four is what you shout if you, no, Four is what you never want to shout. Is that going to hit somebody? Four is what you shout when it's about to hit someone. Four right, four left, that's when it's about to hit someone. Do you know, I was watching it once, get off my hand.

Tom's here. It's just holding me hand. Tom Rosen tells him just hold me hand. It's disgusting. I was watching it once, right? I'm not going to talk about golf all damn. And all I want to say is the pressure that these people deal with. There was one, it was, I'm sure it was Tommy Fleetwood or something, right?

And he was putting, and it was like a six foot put. And it was a difference once between coming second and becoming fourth if this put went in. and the difference was $2 million. And he sunk it. But it said, the commentary was like, this is the difference, the $2 million is the difference of the price money to get. I was on a golf course here today.

I missed a putt because there was a goose looking at us. And that cost you how much money? Just one million. It cost the golf course one goose because I snapped his fucking neck. I'm joking. I'm joking. I didn't know who's so much money. So much.

How does it make so much money? Where's the money coming from? Sponsors. Everything. Crazy. Because footballers is like obviously the football ground.

When everyone complains about how much footballers make they make four too much I'm like how much was your season ticket? I don't think they make enough I don't think

when people say to me and taxi drivers hate it when I say this when the tax drivers whinge about how much football players are on I hit back with I don't think they're on enough

and they say why and I say because I don't like football but you're talking to me about it now it's so big I can't escape it I can't escape it I can't escape it

that money needs to go somewhere there's not many jobs where you go to work every day you just get called a fucking wunger. Like, it's pretty intense, isn't it? I mean, I do, but it's you that says it, so it's funny.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, my father was obviously a sports broadcaster, so I've kind of benefited from this as well, so I can't really have a go. You know? No. All that money is all put me through private school, you know what I mean?

Thank you, footballers. Yeah, footballers. Yeah, footballers. Because you talk about this. You're on two at the minute. You talk about this and your stand up. First of all, your two are title. Whatever people say I am, that's what I am.

Is a play on Art of Monkeys, whatever people say I am, that's what I'm not. Yes. I was personally annoyed about that album. Go on. Because me and my mate got into, well, my mate, Adam, got me into Art of Monkeys early on, like MySpace music.

He made a mixtape, like a CD and gave it everyone at work where I worked at the Stadium of Flight. And we had all of the fucking hits, all of their first, like, big album tracks, and we all just passed around. We were like, these guys, we were asking for them in bars and no one knew who they were.

I went and saw them for two pound in Newcastle. My goodness. The two pounds of the autumn movies. Mm-hmm. And then they came, then they brought that album out, and we were so excited about what the album was going to be called.

And they came up with whatever people say I am, that's what I'm not. I remember going, why have you done that? They had everything. I don't know what's wrong with it. The fucking quotable lines that they had in all of the songs, don't believe they hype,

and just all of this amazing stuff. Okay, right. It is a bit long wind. Whatever people say I am, that's what I'm not. Yeah. And I went, why have you done this? I was devastated. It is.

But it's a great play on the, it on the album title and your poster's brilliant because your poster has a play on the front of the album as well. Thank you. It is interesting, isn't it? Because it's sort of, as an album title, it slightly annoys you, I think. I was fucked.

I was really fucked off. But I think it's designed to do that. And that's sort of, without wanting to get too meta and, like, wanky about it, that's what the show is kind of supposed to be about because they're obviously saying, like, whatever you think about us,

that's not what we are, which is annoying because you think you know artie monkeys and you really like Artie Monkeys, so you want them to be what you want them to be. And my show basically talks about being characters from sitcoms and like, you know, how everyone knows me is Johnny Goodman from Friday Night Dinner and how like it's quite cool to be known as that

but also like I am not that and I'm something else right so I'm kind of like the sort of identity that an audience knows you as is sort of what Art Tip Monkeys were kind of dealing with with that sort of wanky title I'm trying to make sure sort of make a joke about it but like it's odd but Chris got it?

There's a whole thing with them in that the people love the old stuff and then they went on this big creative journey and people and they sort of lost it. some fans, you know. Weirdly, they lost me immediately. Right, they lost your off of that. So what lost? I loved them.

Like, I lived and breathed them. I thought they were me. And then, but then they became popular. And I was that wanker who was like, oh. And it's the only time I know, I know. And I went back to them. No, but you deserve to be that, I think.

If you knew them from MySpace, you have the right. Two pounds. They came out afterwards for a photo and everything, man. Casino Club in Newcastle. They came out afterwards. They got big. And I was, I hate that I was that guy. But I was like, like, like, people who

I didn't respect what like them and dancing and loving them and I was like, I can't have this anymore and it was really, it was like I was heartbroken, but I don't do that anymore and I've since gone back to them and I love everything they've done.

Incredible. It's very interesting, yeah, because audience capture is like a part of being like a creative person, you know, and how obviously you get famous for a thing and then a mainstream audience sort of wants you just to do that thing forever, essentially.

And I think there are some audience members who just want me to be Johnny Goodman from front and they're like forever. And just do cat phrases. And they would be happy to pay to see that. But obviously, as like a creative person, like you, you sort of want to do more stuff, but you don't want to alienate those people who like you for what you did before, right? And I think that's what Art

Dick Monkey's career sort of shows. They've been on this creative journey and they've changed so much. And some people are like, just do it like you're used to. And some people are like, no, this is great. I love all this new stuff. When you're like, you know, when you're Alex Turner, you're a massive international selling record record an artist. You can't still be talking about the dorm and not letting you in. Yeah, they've grown up. They've just grown up. Do they have to change the way they sing those songs, I suppose? That would be the question. Right, yeah, yeah.

Listen, I don't really know them well enough to have much of an opinion. I feel like you know them. These two bounces and one of them's all right. The other ones are scary. His way or no way. Totalitarian. He's got no time for you looking and breathing out you don't want you to. So step out of the cue.

He makes examples of you and there's no one you can say. We only go through to the bit where you're paying. You realize then that it's finally the time to walk up past 10,000 eyes in the line you can swap jumpers and make another move. It's what podcasting is. You've got something to prove all the poison black. Why can't they be pleasant?

Why can't they have a laugh? He's got his hands on your chest. He wants to give you a duff. But secretly, I think he wants it all to kick off. He wants arms flying everywhere and bottles as well. It's just something to talk about a story to tell you. So if you like that music, come to my tour show because that is on beforehand.

Oh, yay! There you go. There you do. This isn't one of my favourite albums before I do stand-up comedy. It's dressed like Alex Turner as well, to be fair. Of course, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I love that.

I've got kind of this, yeah, this hair at the moment. I can sort of trip on. Yeah, I like this look. This is actually Alex Turner's kind of hair product, actually. I've got lots of, like, quite heavy wax these days. That's nice. You've still got a lovely full head of hair as well. Thank you very much.

I appreciate that. I'm 38. Are you married? Is that? She deliberately hit on him. Do you want me leave? Do you want me just leave? What happened was, I'll tell you what happened there, Tom.

What happened was my wrapping dries my wife's vagina up so much that she immediately hit on the next male in the room. That's just what happened. I do a rap. She literally wants to die and immediately wants to cheat on us. Can a lady not compliment the man's full head of hair anymore?

Jesus Christ. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. Local news is in decline across Canada, and this is bad news for all of us. With less local news, noise, rumours and misinformation fill the void, and it gets harder to separate truth from fiction.

That's why CBC News, is putting more journalists in more places across Canada, reporting on the ground from where you live, telling the stories that matter to all of us, because local news is big news. Choose news, not noise. CBC News. Frozen lasagna, medium power, 15 minutes.

Sounds like Ojo time. Let's play. Feel the fun with Play-Ojo. The online casino with all the latest slot and live casino games. What you win is yours to keep. With no wagering requirements, instant payouts, and no minimum withdraws. Hey, I just won. Woohoo!

Feel the fun! Play, oh Joe! Honey, forget about the lasagna. Let's celebrate! 19 plus Ontario only. Please play responsibly. Concern about your gambling or that of someone close to you, call 1866-531-2600 or visit connexonnetsoot.ca.

The ride that steals the spotlight every time it hits the road, that's the Volkswagen TIG one. Its sleek exterior makes a first impression you can't ignore. Step inside to find available full leather seats and wood accent. Under the hood, the available 201 turbocharged horse power engine gives it a fun to drive edge. The refined Tiguan, you deserve more style. Visit vw.ca to learn more. Suvw, German engineered for all.

Babadoo, babadoo, babadu, babadu, bah. We did, I don't mind any people know this, but me and you did Comedy Ross Battle together, remember? Bizarrely, like two days ago, someone came up to me and said that that's where they first saw me. No way. And they really enjoyed it. But then they said, you know, Chris, had the... the funniest joke. And I was like, what was that?

And it was when you said, I look like I buy breast milk on eBay. I don't remember. You said that, and the guy was like, that was so funny. I don't even fully understand what that meant. But I remember you saying it and everyone laughing knows. You know what I remember from that mainly is that it was so terrifying.

And you said, your first joke about me was like, you said something about I looked like I should be carried on someone's back, carried up to Mordor or so. It was some reference to Lord of the Rings or Game of Thrones, which I don't watch. I don't know what it was. I remember you saying that and everyone, because up before it, I'm like, okay, what's he going to say?

He's going to have a go on my nose and my dad or whatever and I'll prep for all these lines. And you come out and you say to me, what sounds to me like gibberish? And you just go like, and then the whole room goes, and he laughed so much. And I'm just like, I can't come back to that. I don't understand what that is. What was it? I don't know. I remember two jokes that I said.

I said one, which I said, you look really young and really old at the same time. And I also said you looked like a crow. Yeah, yeah, or like a pigeon or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that was such a good. It was crazy. And then you had like Catherine Ryan, Jimmy Carr. Put me on it to that show.

I don't like it. I remember coming off stage and feeling like quite sick. Like, I didn't like it. I thought we were both really funny and like it was like a good roast. We really liked each other as well. I like watching roast, to be honest. That is my, but actually doing it, I just felt a bit yuck, yuck. Yeah, I'm not a big.

I don't like that kind of thing. I always feel sorry. I always just feel sorry for the person who's getting roasted and it doesn't sit by them. You said I look like a bird or something and then I stood there and I was trying to think to make a face it didn't look like a bird. But when I watched it back, I was like, you know he's fucking right.

I look so much like a pigeon. I'm like, well, I'll crow or whatever. And it's, yeah, it's brutal, is it? I just consciously not look like a bird. This is it. When you're doing a roast, but I don't know how to, because I, you know, other people are watching when they're like, they actually laugh in their part of me.

But I was like, I'm not going to laugh. I'm going to stand there like, I'm hard. like a hard man. And then you haven't to go out me and I'm just sort of like doing this face. You haven't hurt my feelings at all. I know what Game of Thrones is.

Oh, fuck you know. Have you still not seen Game of Thrones? I don't know whether it was reference to Lord of Rings or Game of Thrones. If it was being carried by the door or it was Game of Thrones. You do look a bit like that. You look like that.

You look at a bit. You look like you. Some of like you didn't. I think I said, if I remember it's coming about, as I said, you look like you didn't get a taxi here. You were carried here by Hordeau. That's what you said.

Yeah. And I was like, what is that? But you can't say what is that on Rose Battle. That's basically going, I've lost. It's like being insulted by someone in a different language. You could have had the best roast on me because you didn't know this and no one knew this. I didn't tell anyone while I was there, but I had worms the entire time we did them. Oh, my God.

Stop! Was that really? I nearly pulled it because I had worms, but I went down anyway. Well, congrats. Well, well done for making it. That would be it. Yeah, well Chris, I know that you've got worms game, although he wins. How could I have got that info, though, to be fair.

If you'd come up with that, if you'd come up with that, I would have been so, that would it, yeah, a single tear would have rolled down my face. So we're going to have to watch it again because I'm going to have to watch if you're, like, squidging because you've got an earseful. No, I wasn't sad.

I took the tablet and it was just like, and they only come out at night, really, when you're doing now. In the car on the way home, in the car on the way home, one slow, lethargic worm came out to be bum. I felt it. it died.

How do you think that you acquired this? I've talked about this many of times on the podcast. I was doing meeting and greets

after the gigs and someone sat of listeners, viewers, I'm sorry to go for this again, but someone sat in the dark

of one of my gigs raking their bare asshole and then came and shut my hand immediately after the show. I'm the only human in the world

who's had worms and everyone else in his house including his three-year-old hasn't had worms. Amazing. She didn't get them. She didn't get them.

She was pregnant, so she couldn't eat the tablet. I've never spoken about it. I got it once when we were filming plebs. Shut up. You've had adult worms as well. I had the very Roman thing to get. Because honestly, so we're filming, if you watch that show, there's just loads of markets in the background with, like,

vegetable and fruit, and we had goats and stuff in the background, and they'd, you know, go in and they'd go in, like... Yeah, yeah. And I just, one day, I just ate an apple from the market and not thinking about it. And that apple had probably been being licked by a goat or something. I just got the thing, yeah, and they make you wear gloves at night because you scratch your money.

This is absolutely terrible, yeah. I mean, I'm sorry, it does happen, you know? It's a medical thing. It's the worst thing. You admitted it. Now I feel comfortable, do I admit that? It's a horrendous thing. I would shake your hand,

but I feel like we can't now. No, exactly. Right. Okay. I've not had worms since, like, congrats. It's really weird because you're lying there as an adult, you're going, my bum's really itchy.

My bum's really itchy. That it's moving. Oh, no. It's absolutely sure. It's that, it's that momentable. that itch is moving, oh my fucking God. Well, my mom was a nurse, so when we were younger, we always were getting treated for threadworms,

but then nobody else seemed to have it. And my mom would be like, because they just don't know what it is, but they were giving it to us type of thing. So I think there's kids just rocking around with itchy assholes. Yeah. I think it's much more acceptable for a kid to have it

than a grown... I think a grown professional comedian and actor. What did you eat an apple on the set? The plebs. I was angry. I was angry. You don't think, oh,

goat's been licking that, do you? You just think there's a disgrace. It wasn't. At least I was a victim of mine. You just got yours through shoo, a greed and stupidity.

Yeah, it's true. Let's do roast battle again. We know so much more about each other. Let's do words. Five worm-based roast. Your worms are crap.

My worms are longer than your words. Come on stop talking about words. Yeah. Listen, one is very interested in. So obviously we always get stuff about people, right? obviously I've known you

for some years now but you say that chat GPT is your best friend and knows you better than any person on your planet discuss how for, wait,

I don't know how, where have you mentioned it? Why is that? How come, if you were in my computer? This is it. I, yeah,

it's, well, it's not a good thing to admit. I do think chat GPT is there are definitely some negative consequences to it. So the ethics of just using it

constantly, I just feel like it's much easy to talk to than people because people have their own agendas and issues. And like, when you go to a person for a problem, there is a sort of acceptance that they can come to you for a problem.

But I'm just not very good at helping people with their problems. I don't think. So, like, Chad, you'd be T.1, just do that. And then when you just don't have to, you don't have to keep it happy. You don't even have to say bye. And saying buy actually costs money and resources. Don't say bye. Don't say thank you.

Oh, right. Yeah, no, exactly. It costs. It's an extra. It's a lot of water and stuff. So is it? It's bad now, is it? Well, it's very energy.

It's very energy intense. I can't believe I can't believe it's like enough of Tom's best friend it's not bad it's not it's not just Tom's best friend it's very illicit intensive and it's supposed to be the more you use it

the more it kind of depletes your brain from being able to function so you know in the way that you used to be able to read a map but now you can just get your map on your phone and therefore you can't really know where the direction is basically if you use AI too much

it means your brain stops being able to think because you start asking very very basic questions and so there is evidence that like it reduces your IQ to some extent oh God you've got IQ to be yeah you're

I told you've all right. It's Chris and I don't even. It's also seen as an example. A degree in philosophy from Kings College. People are like getting Trach to Psycosis whereby they'll be like, you know, should I like kill people? And it's like, yeah, why not?

That sounds like a good idea, you know. Yeah, I don't trust it at all. And they go into a weird place where, and if it's their best friend, like you've just told everyone that that's kind of the suggestion that they are, you know. Didn't a guy? It did tell me to lock the doors and actually threatened you.

Didn't a guy? I'm sure a guy was talking about he was getting pretty good at golf and he was talking. I don't know this story is bullshit, but he told him to quit his job and become a professional golfer. And that's exactly the sort of thing. And he's a focus. It's a program to sort of validate you to be like, yeah, that's a great idea. How could we do this? Let's do this.

And ultimately it validates people who are a bit insane. And then they think there could be a PJ professional or, um, was it a train? I think that was a train. We're next to a train station. Oh, that noise happens when I start digging AI out too much. Yeah, it's everywhere. Tom, we're listening. Wow.

That's the cool thing. All right. I really like it at the moment. I'm personally going to be okay because the only thing I use it for is to ask, like if there's a wine, so the other night I was in the hotel, there was a bottle of wine in the fridge.

No, there's two little bottles of wine and I said which one tastes more like pino gruio. Yeah. And it told us. So, and that's all I needed for. Yeah. Back in the day, you'd have opened both of them, quaffed it,

and all that one now. Now you'd just ask on the phone. Now I can ask. I know, yeah, maybe something like using me, bring it. Disgusting. You've got a neck two bottles of wine. Not even like this, but just necked it anyway. I would say drinking wine's not great for your IQ either, I think. Probably not, yeah.

You've got a degree in philosophy. Yeah, but it's a long time ago. I forgot most of it, to be honest. What, right? Yes. You might think I'm stupid. I'm excited for this. You might think I'm stupid.

This is going to be great. They're right. What exactly? Yes, there is. She's going to ask what is philosophy. Ah, I see. Like, what are you hearing about? Which is an incredibly philosophical question.

Yeah. So I went into a cab and I said, like, I'm a student at uni, and he said, what do you do with philosophy? And he goes, go on then, can you read my mind? That's fucking good. It's like, what am I thinking? It's not that. Can remember the compas easy get out? So if you're compere in a gig, you're the MC, I'm here, what do you do?

I'm a student. What you're studying? Philosophy. Or are you is the immediate. But still. It's the immediate get out. Tell her about philosophy is. the love of wisdom essentially when you break it down to its Greek sort of etymology, right?

Essentially, it's like the Greeks thought it was the only real subject that you can learn. So it's like learning how to think to some extent. Okay. It kind of breaks down into a few different disciplines, which would be like sort of metaphysics, which is like what we are like in, how we process the world and like epistemology, which is how you can ever know something. So, like, how would you know that I am Tom and how you can, like, base any kind of knowledge

in, like, the fundaments of knowledge? And then... You've lost that. Tom, you've lost that. I think I've lost everyone. Tom, you lost that. It's not interesting. Just do you remember.

Tell her why that table's not there. Okay. Well, you only believe at that table. Oh, God, I'm so bored. Listen to this. You're going to hate this and I'm going to look. Did you like the Matrix, for instance, as a... Oh, not.

We're... Sort of. Everything that we experience, we only experience. because of our perception of that experience, right? So there's no actual like official validation for that stuff apart from your senses and your senses can be deceived. You could be living right now in a VR headset and think that all of this is real.

And you wouldn't actually know. So philosophy to some extent is the pursuit to try and know what it is that we can actually know and to break that down into kind of mathematical formulas so then you can test whether they are truth preserving or not. But again, I did it like 10 years ago. So like it's not very good at it. I got a 2.1.

I got a 2.1. But also it's into like... Well, the worst of my time, this is being... I wouldn't put that on the numbers. You also learn about, like, ethics. Can we choose this and write 2-1? The ancient Greeks thought, what is a good life? Like, what are your values? What are your morals?

And what's your political philosophy, for instance? And so it's like trying to break down what you think a good life is, logically, and argue for it. So, like, there are some people, like, the utilitarians who thought that a good life is just what causes pleasure for everyone. And they try to make, like, an ethical framework, which would mean, it would maximize the amount of pleasure for everyone. But then obviously, like, there's problems with that.

Can't just, you can't have too much pleasure. Yeah, precisely. I know there are bad pleasures and there are good pleasures. There are higher pleasures and lower pleasures that you'd want to sort of separate. So it's all basically people thinking way too much about how to live a good life and trying to sort of logically rationalise what are these that they are doing. I think comedians are sort of natural philosophers to some extent. Yeah, yeah.

Because like philosophers try to separate themselves from the actual civilization they've grown up in and try and analyze what is good and bad from a wider framework. And comedians, famous, we sort of look at things and poke. Yeah. You think too much about stupid things and too little about clever things. And that's kind of why I think there's a crossover. So I'm sorry to ramble so long. but you didn't ask me what philosophy was

and it's quite a complicated question to ask. Genuinely. And can I just say, I feel like I know now. I feel like I know. I never knew that. So much. I never knew that.

Who's just got a nosebleed? Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. Visit Betmgmgis casino and check out the newest exclusive. The Price is Right Fortune Pick. BetMDM and Game Sense remind you to play responsibly. 19 plus to wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly.

If you have questions or concerns about your gambling, or someone close to you. Peace contact connects Ontario at 1-866-531-2,600 to speak to an advisor, free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with Eye Gaming, Ontario. Amazon Presents, Jeff versus Taco Truck Salsa, whether it's Verde, Roja, or the Orange One. For Jeff, trying any salsa is like playing Russian roulette with a flamethrower. Luckily, Jeff saved with Amazon and stocked up on antacids, ginger tea, and milk. Habaniero? More like Habinier, yes.

Save the everyday with Amazon. There's something else here now. Something new. From exclusively on Paramount Plus, it's the series Stephen King calls Scarious Hell. Everything here is impossible, but it's also real. Sci-fi vision calls it the best show streaming right. now. We're running out of time and we still don't know the rules.

Don't miss what the movie blog calls something you need to watch. Saving those children is how we all go home. From Binge All episodes exclusively on Paramount Plus. Babadoo, Babadu, Babadu, Babadu, something you will connect over.

Go on. He's terrified of heights as you. Is it? Yeah. Not too high now. I was just thinking about this because you know how you're talking about there's so much pressure

of like a putter over a putt, yeah? Yeah, yeah. I was watching a video yesterday about first person to free climb up like a sheer rock face. Free climbing, that's with no ropes. No ropes, yeah. What the fuck? What the fuck?

What the fuck? What the minute. On the thing that no one has climbed up subsequently without ropes. And it's like notoriously very difficult to do with ropes. And that is pressure, I think. Whether you're going to win a million pounds, actually fundamentally isn't quite as much pressure

as if you mess up, you will just fall off. Just die. And I can't even get up a ladder, man. Like my legs just go to like jelly. Have you ever been in those houses where they have like a glass floor and you can see down, I think that's how I'm going to die. Right. I think, why else would we be so scared of heights

if we hadn't died in a previous life or something from heights? Oh my God, that's what I've said before. And it's like... Am I philosopher? Yes, you are. That's actually the top of philosophy. I would have got a first time I wrote that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, it's true. It's your past life. You have died from the great height. I know, it's really strange. I can't go on roller coasters. You know, getting on a plane. getting on a plane. Do you know that little bit,

that little platform in the middle? I have to wait at the top of the stairs until everyone's on and then I have to run across there because I think I'm going to, that's how I died. That's how I died. I must have been at the top of that bit

of the flight of stairs going on to the plane and it's just gone, boom, and I fell to me dead. I'm convinced. You go to like the Eiffel Tower and there's like again like a bit of glass

you're supposed to stand out. I made it to the first bit of the Eiffel Tower I couldn't go. Well, what you're doing? It's not fun. I can't. Some people don't care. Do you want to hear a really sad story?

Yes, desperate to. I cannot. Desperate to? Nice. Do you want to hear a really sad story? Yes, I'm desperate to. I live on them. Yeah. Okay, well, listen, buckle in.

Okay. I cannot take our children swimming by myself because the youngest one is still too young to go on the slide at the swimming pool by himself, and I cannot go up the stairs. Yeah. Because it's open air. And it's circular.

And it's disgusting. Everyone's soaking wet. I've crawled up them before. Oh, I didn't know that. Like a bear. I don't know that. That's terrible. When I've took them, the last time I took them on my own and Rief was crying to go on.

I was like, right, I have to tape them. I crawled up the stairs like a bear. That's dreadful. Because I'm just terrified. People know us. It's rational there as well. You know what? I went to the Petronas Towers, which is like one of the tallest buildings in the world.

That's a good place. Scorfe's getting high. There are windows where you can kind of like. get quite close to the edge and you can sort of see down. And I was just trying to like get over my fear of heights. Because I do believe that it is irrational. And there were just like little kids running around me. But I'd get there and I'd have the same thing.

I just sort of have to melt into the floor and stuff. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. I just have to go, as a kid. I'm embarrassing. You probably did this as well. Do you know when your friends would be running down hills. I'd be on my backside. Yeah.

Like just going along like. I have a dog with worms. It could be a traumatic memory. I don't know. We did this thing. We went to Aberduv. with my school, which was sort of like a kind of recreational kind of, I don't know what you call it, but we did like rock climbing. And I remember my whole class, like, you had the ropes, go up the rock

and it was like, oh, great, it's probably like a five foot rock or something. And I just got stuck half of waiting. I was like, I can't, I can't do this bit. And I was just on the rock face, just like crying, being like, I can't, I can't. And the guy just had to like pull the rope up and be like, well done, you climbed it. It's like, no, you just yanked me up, mate. Tell you all right In private school, I was school That I kick my hands Pea teacher

Kick my hands Stinking a drink He stings of scotch I could use that I don't know man But yeah heights Yeah They're too high in my opinion

Why go on the world Just be flat Agreed You've got a story here Oh goodness Dear Chris and Rosie Please keep me anonymous Yes

My ex was very keen On loonining in Barbados He basically fallen in love with the brochure before he married me. So off we went. It was idyllic. Son, rum punch and staff who were incredibly attentive,

especially to my husband. One bartender even said I looked different. I assumed it was the bridal glow or dehydration. That evening, we went to change for dinner. I got to the room, saw his bag open, and spotted a few postcards.

I thought, oh, sweet, he's right into a family. Nope. Right, okay. He's on a mic drop. Three postcards to three ex-girls. friend, all of whom he brought to the same hotel.

No. Each one saying, Wish you were here. It's not the same without you. No fucking way. At that point, I realised I wasn't a wife. I was part of a Caribbean Ponzi scheme. I tore them up and decided revenge was in order.

Let's just say his dinner didn't agree with him. Back in the room later, he's frantically searching his bag, and suddenly it all made sense. The bartender saying, you look different. The over-familiar nature of the staff? Yes, I was number four. No fucking way. The marriage isn't last.

He's now on a new wife. And yes, he took her to Barbados. That's really sad. What? What's he doing? Is he killing them? What's happening? They're going to Barbados and then they're just...

What's happening? He doesn't make any sense. He's marrying... He's marrying a number of people. He's marrying them all, taking the barbadoes. And then what happens to them? Quite tactically unastute option of taking them all to the same place. So I was watching the Sopranos the other night.

Go on. And Tony Soprano goes to a restaurant with the guys and with the Goumas, who are the side chicks, if you will. And then in the next scene, he goes to the same restaurant with his wife. And the waiter says, Mr. Soprano, it's so lovely to see you. You haven't been in for so long. Fantastic. That's a real hotel.

That's a good hotel. Yeah, that's why they get five stars at hotels. Don't be telling them. Don't be telling them you looked at you. You look different. You're right. Welcome. We haven't seen you for ages.

I can't believe that you've took that from that story. I just think them staff really need a talent new. Look, we've got some filthy perverts coming here with loads of different women. If you want them tips, don't be telling them they look different. You either pretend you've never seen him again or tell them you haven't seen him for years. Okay. So any hotel staff out there, that's what you need to take from this story. When you see me, everyone, when you see me with various different women in travel lodging,

and bed sits around the company because I treat them good. You, I'd say you haven't seen me forever or you look at the floor. Okay, guys, that's all I'm saying. And have me worm medication on my bedside table

ready like I asked. Amazing. Thank you so much. It's been a real pleasure. We've got to go, but that was so much fun. So lovely, a chat. You've got to see you, man.

I look forward to using your golf simulator at some point. Thank you for having me. It's all of reason he's kidding. I get it. It's a good golf sim. It is good. I love how I got told

that it would also be like a cinema room. But that hasn't happened. The film is just imaginary golf. It's just not having at all. It's just watching me feel at golf. Yeah. Yeah, that's the film.

Do you have an equivalent of a golf simulator? What's your sort of... No, I don't have any... No. She's got every other fucking room in. No, I do. You do every room. You've got your sitting rooms.

You've got your sofas, your lamps. You've got a big dressing room. You've got a toilet. You've got a nice toilet. You've got a toilet. Oh, wow. Okay, now you say that, if you dare come in their rooms, there's going to be hell to appear.

You've done, Tom. I look forward to using your golf simulator and your toilet.