Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Please Keep Me Anonymous With Vogue Williams

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

This week on Shagged Married Annoyed, Chris and Rosie are joined by the unstoppable Vogue Williams! Fresh out the Jungle, Vogue spills the tea on what life was like in the camp and why she thinks Chris and Rosie should give it a go! They also discuss the fun Vogue had on this year 's Gladiator Celebrity Special (BBC ONE Christmas Day 3.35pm). Spot Bot anyone?! All of this plus a brilliant Please Keep Me Anonymous, doomed business plans and the start of a vlog! You can catch Vogue on Gladiators Celeb Special on Christmas Day at 3.35pm on BBC ONE and of course catch up on Iplayer. Listen to Vogue and Joanne McNally on their brilliant podcast My Therapist Ghosted Me, wherever you get your podcasts! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, you are listening to and watching. Please keep me anonymous, a Shagmoudinoid production. Ooh, nice. This week we are joined by Vogue Williams, and it was such a fun chat. I actually cried laughing, which is my favourite kind of crying. Once again, like Ross from Friends and the Threesome,

I could have just left the room and they probably wouldn't have even noticed I would have gone. But do you know what it is? I'm happy when you're happy, love. So I'm glad you had a nice time. Very, very good. Vogue's chatting about the jungle. She's also chatting about celebrity gladiators,

which she has done and filmed and it is on Christmas Day 335. And interesting enough, just a little tit bit for everyone watching and listening. Just before it was boatwara, I thought, oh, I'd like to do gladi is and I'd text saying, can I do gladiators? And I have a miss call and a text saying

I can't tell if you're joking. So make about what you will. Enjoy. Or please like, rate and subscribe. And if you're watching on YouTube, please subscribe. It would be very helpful. Thank you.

Thanks. settle on a jingle jingo so this is the jingle jingo jingo we hope you like the jingle

jingo babado do babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo bagadu bao jingo do I'll take one off so they don't bang you sure? Yeah I've got enough

deals on I'll survive I love that to see you I'm not that you'll want to hear that you are literally Mr D D You all literally missed a tea.

That's the vibe I go for. I love that you're vlogging. I feel like what does she even do? What are you going to vlog? What are you going to vlog? I'm going to vlog life. Yeah, okay. Like I'm not breaking the mould of shit.

No, no, no. Just like anything that I think I'd do is interesting. So this was interesting. The rest of my day is not. But I can guarantee, compared to most, you've got a really, really interesting life. Yeah. Like, you've got an interesting job.

No, but you do. I've seen you doing your washing on the telly. It looks great. I'm good at washing me. That's what I do excel in clothes washing. But people are like, she doesn't wash her clothes. I'm like, I actually do sometimes. Was that one of your kids?

Which one did you watch? Was it your eldest? I'm sure on the advert. They were all out of go of it. Oh, have they? I love that. Because they have to pay for their schooling. So.

But there was one kid recently that wasn't mine. And I was like, he's the most. well-behaved kid I've ever met and I was like that's obviously why I ought to have got the base. They've not been asked back. They don't actually need your kids anymore. We'll have to ask. Have we even started? Have we started?

I'm going wonderful. I love how chillies are. We used to do the full introduction like very much, very and then we did the one with Olly Mears and we were just chatting and then Daisy kept it in and then we got loads of comments going, it was really nice. It didn't actually. I had no point did I want to go, stop talking a second. Hey everyone

it was like let's just get let and do it up yeah we do that we do that we do that

we do the end and it's awkward for someone to sit there while you enter them I find someone

reading your accolades while you're in the room is what it's one of the most revolting things I think that's northern people and it's Irish people

we cannot bear a compliment that makes shudder I can't take it and also we need to come up

with some of our words because all we do is like had a lovely chat had a really great like we need What is it an adjective?

What adjective is that? What adjective is that? I don't fucking know. It's an adjective that I believe is a describing word. We need to come up with more describing words. An adjective, that was good that you got there. You or your kids are elder than mine, so you're back in school. That's how I know.

Yeah, I'm only gone back to school now, so I'm only learning new things like that again. Our Robbins, our Robbins 10. It's horrible. And his homework, I swear to God. Adverbs, adverbials and all that. Spot the adverbial in this. Hello, chat, GPT. Can you please

I do. I know, I Google everything but like, Shapes. I'm like, I don't remember that shape. I know. Oh my God.

Like, what's a hexagon? What's the best to get like S way at the card. Quizers now. Quizas. I'm good at shapes.

Are you? You're good. Yeah. Hexigan, six. Pentagon five. Square four. How come?

Omprygon. He's obviously doing that. What have you been watching? What have been watching? No, we're watching the shapes. Welcome to shapes with Chris Ramsey. That'd be a great part.

Great part. Kids pod. You never know. We'll have to film it. You can't see the shapes. How was the jungle? Yes. You're fresh. You are fresh out. Fresh out. I've had the facial, got the hair done, nails are done. I'm back.

Yeah. How long have you been back? Like two or three days? Two days. Fucking hell, man. I was busy yesterday. I was busy. I was like time to scrape off the rotten. Was it as mingin as it looks? It's where, like I didn't speak to anyone before going in. First mistake. so silly. So much harder

than it looks on TV. Like it's wild. Like Spenny was like Oh, I read an article with it where it said that they weren't being hard enough on the slabs

I was like Oh, it's always nice to go and after they've had that revelation. Oh, I know. And I'm like

going straight after the year where it was easy. Yeah, that'll be nice. Yeah, it was not easy. But it is a lot of fun and like I've made, I have made good friends

because at the start when they were all really like Oh, you're not speaking there in a month. Texas Ruby Wax this morning. Oh, Brooby-West. All right.

Come back in six months and tell me if you still speak about. Well, you will see. I will be with her in a walk. What you have done, you have made,

no, no, you have made a holiday friend. We've all done it. We've all made a holiday. Let's meet up. Oh, yeah, you come out. And if they do meet up,

you take them into your local and it's fucking horrible. They hate this. Well, excuse me for now I have friends. Yeah. For now. She's still in a bubble. Actually, I'm totally kidding.

Because holiday friends, it's because you're in an amazing place. You're around the pool and stuff so you make friends easier. It's probably actually harder to make friends in the jungle because one of the hardest bits I would find is genuinely, I don't really, everyone always says, will you go in the jungle or whatever?

And I'm like, I think most of the country would hate me if I went in the jungle because I'll show me true colours. Yeah, I need a certain amount of the day where I'm just on my own and left, I need silent, I need to be with my own thoughts. The sitting around filling the silence with people in the camp who stink would upset me so much. the whole country would be like

and I'm not saying fair play if you can do it but everyone watching would go he is a knob yeah he rolled every time that poor lady said something you rolled his eyes

and then he went into that little booth and he slagged everyone off and he's not even a and he just looks into the distance when they're talking You're not a team player either nah no sorry

the thing of it is though you are filmed the whole day so you don't and I like I love being around people I never sent on my own not one second to I spend on my own Right, okay.

Can't bear it. So it was fine. So you're all trying for it, yeah. They were very singing. So you would have liked it. I probably would love it, yeah. I'm not. When I'm at a gathering and some fucking twash gets an acoustic guitar out,

I want to wrap it around the head. Honestly. Oh, God. That is the worst. I'll see. I would like that bit. I can't. Oh, look, Daryl brought his guitar.

Oh, what? No. No. I used to be married to a singer and I'd be like, ugh. He's grown. I can't. I'm just not a singing person.

I'm not like that. Because I'm shy at it. I'm a really bad singer. I'm not a good dancer and there was a lot of singing and dancing. I found that bit a little bit hard. Cringe. But like it's not even that it was cringe

because they were really good. Yeah, okay. It's cringe if people are shit. To know what I can't be? I can't be like bold games and stuff. Do you know when people are walking a board game out and when they're like, let's do this? I'm like, I'd rather die.

I'd rather die. We played a lot of games. Rob and die. See, right. I couldn't do it. do it? I couldn't do the games and shit. I'd be like... You're so bored, though, that you do. Right. You're so bored that you're like... Because there's no alternative.

So it's like, most of it is just sitting around doing nothing. So you get a... We try to work out the time because you don't know what time it is. They never tell you what time it is. And no one's allowed to talk to you, like the security or until I'd to talk to you and you leave the camp and you get it. In my opinion, all over your head. In my opinion, unnecessary. In my opinion, unnecessary. I just have full conversations with them though. I'm like, how are you? What's the crap? What's going on. They'd completely ignore you. And I just continued this conversation. I made up names for them

and there was one guy there was a sound guy and he used to come into camp in the morning before we woke up and sometimes he'd wake us up and then we'd winge about it but he would swap our mics and I was like

he was real, real good at ignoring me like I mean I was like but then I met him after and I was like oh hang on that wasn't an act he's actually just saying he was still ignoring me when we're down

I was like okay so hang on so you could wake up at half four in the morning or half eight in the morning and you wouldn't know. We thought it was half five. So we thought we woke up at half five in the morning

they would start waking us up because we worked out that the show was on at seven so you'd hear them shouting I was everybody get me out of here and then you'd kind of working out from then. God's like Hunger Games? Yeah. It's like that's torture.

I know, but I give us quite... It's like being in the arena at Hunger Games and working out who's died by the don't. I don't believe Ant in Deck would have something to say about that. But whatever. Oh, I couldn't blame. Play that. You're running the Hunger Games.

Shame. Welcome to the Hunger Games. You can't feel like that. You don't care though. Because like now that I've got back, I'm like, oh my God, there's so much stuff to do. And like, you don't fully appreciate how much time you have to just like do normal stuff. You don't have your phone. And like, it's quite nice to go and collect wood and to do all those things.

Because like, so like back to, I don't know, the Stone Age. Yeah. Did you miss the kids? Yeah. That's my thing. I think that got me. Uh-huh. Yeah.

I think that leave. them because you don't speak to anyone so they take your phone off when you land and then you've no phone you can't speak to anyone and I wish I'd brought a burner phone

but you had time beforehand didn't you? So you went in later? Yeah. So what happened? So when you land in Australia they take your phone? Take your phone.

So then how long until you went in the jungle? So then it was three days before I went to the jungle and so you've a chaperone with you the whole time. My poor chaperone I was like at half six in the morning

come over to the gym she's like meow. Oh my daddy and she's cool I'd be like thankful. I'd be like, I don't want to be here, but I'm actually quite glad.

Are they to stop you like just picking up a landline and... No, you don't ring anyone now. But you forget about your phone so quickly and I was, I love my phone so much. And then I was like, it didn't matter. Nice to have a brain. And then getting out, it's kind of, I was a bit scared to turn it back on.

It's like, you know, when it's your birthday and people find out and they start texting. It's like, you're ruining my birthday. Like, now I have to run back to you. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Stop texting. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bab.

So you've made friends. Who else have you really, who else have you made friends with? Tom. I've actually already seen Tom. All right, okay. Was it on the flight home? No, bumped into him of the bus. He was getting the bus. Is that the bus?

Do you get the bus? I get the bus. I get the tube. Oh, and I cycle everywhere. Oh, nice. Do wear a helmet? Do wear a helmet? Do wear a helmet?

Good. Sometimes I wear. I know. We were coming here in the taxi this morning and I can't believe the amount of people with no helmet with no helmets. No helmet. They're going to come off and they're going to be brain damaged. and they need to put a helmet on your nutters.

Your helmets are a bit rotten but you have to wear a helmet. They're awful and your hair's going to be shit for the rest of the day but you are going to save yourself from a really serious head injury. Or death. Us two and the taxi driver this morning collectively came up the idea of a foldable helmet.

Like the Brompton bike. Google it already exists. Foldable helmet so I was billionaire then it went. I felt that's a great idea. I wonder if that person made a hell How ugly are they though? And then probably...

So they're more of it... It's basically a headband with a pop out top is the best way I'm describe it. It's like quite thick around this weight. Like those buckets. You know the buckets,

the new buckets that you get to focus. Basically. They don't... They don't work as well. No, you're still gonna have a bad head. Yeah. And you're gonna get... Actually, to be fair,

the legal troubles I would get into when someone died using one of my foldable helmets that I just invented. I'm actually glad... Do you know what it is? I've tasted that success and I don't want it.

You don't need it. You're busy. You don't need it. Just quickly, that was a roller coaster in my mind there. I was in court. It's kind of a good idea. Are you like this? So I feel like you are probably a really good entrepreneur.

And like you and Spend, has put Spence it together. I can imagine you're doing like lots of business ventures and stuff like that. Me and Chris come up with loads of ideas, right, all the time. And we never, ever see them through. Ever, I swear to God. We're always like, oh my God, we should do this. We should do that.

Never one. Never one. No, no. How would you do it? Like, what are we? Well, I've loads of ideas that I don't bother either. I was like, I'm going to start my own coffee brand because I love coffee so much. And then I'm like, there's loads of coffee brands, isn't it?

Yeah. It is that in it, though. I'll just bring a whole suitcase full out from Australia. It's basically, right, I'm going off for a run. That's raining. Like that. It's how quickly you can just put your idea on. My most recent one, my most recent one was like, I would love to open a coffee shop where we live.

Like a really lovely coffee shop. Oh, I know. Yeah, but then I was like, I'm going to have to get up really a really hard. and then I'll have to be there I'll have to be there all day and I'll just put my foot off and I was like and then yeah

then I'll have to everyone who comes in I'll have to speak oh god oh no I can't It's an nice for retirement tomorrow

yeah yeah that would be nice that's not retirement is it it's not I don't ever want to retire you see because I feel like

as soon as I retire I'll die right you're a shock you're a shock what do you mean I'm a shark so if you stop swimming

you'll die yeah exactly yeah yeah I just swim the whole time sharks I think they never ever start I think that's where

the scenes come from. Am I, hang on. I'm so glad I've learned something today. So what's just happened is, and this happens quite often. I will tell Rosie a fact or a phrase. Is that true? Rosie, you'll take the fact or the phrase.

No, it is, but Rosie will take it and she'll tell it to someone else with the confidence of the person who knew it in the first place. And then a beautiful moment happens where, thankfully, you've just said to Rosie, is that true? And Rosie's, in her head,

there's a fucking alarm going off. It's panic. there's fucking there's chimps running around just madness like that Ron get out fire

like Who cares if it's true or not I don't say allegedly at the end Allegedly Allegedly I need to have more conviction

in what I say yeah no if sharks stop swimming they'd die Well I said Bob Dylan was dead the other day Jimam was like

God Bob Dylan was playing I was like No he wasn't I was like No he like didn't just die By the way He's dead

years And the producer was like he's alive I was like oh really I had him killed off I was so convinced of it I was like laughing at her

and stuff I was like that's ridiculous Joanne wow he isn't like he's fully I don't know I don't know he was dead

over alive we do that all the time actually right you're going on you're going on gladiators yeah

you're going to be I've done it oh you've done it but it's on Christmas day Christmas day at 335 do you know it's always on Christmas

that's a good time because that's Oh, hang on. Are you posh? No, my husband is, though. Okay. When do you eat your Christmas lunch? I think we're going to eat it about,

I eat around the kids' schedule, so like, one or two. We have, see, we have hours in like one o'clock. Well, who doesn't have the evening? Oh, my God. I grew up with a girl from school, and her family used to eat so late that I'd literally, I said my mom, I was like, I can't go to her house. I've got such a bad stomach because they eat so late, I'd be like, my stomach would go.

Every meal, not just Christmas. Oh, just all the time. Just all the time. Oh, no. But yeah, so people will be finished their lunch and they'll be digesting and the telly will be on. 335 is actually the perfect time. That's perfect snooze in front of the telly.

It's digesting town. I don't want them snoozing, please. Oh, they'll be snoozy. Okay. It was really tough. Because of the beautiful warm nostalgia that's getting pumped out from gladiators. Gladiators, what a sick show. So good.

I always wanted to do it. Like so, but do you remember watching when you were younger? Oh, my God. You say my stepdad was like your man because he's from Scotland and he'd be like, Amber, you will go. Oh, because it was really strict. We'd be like, Uber.

We used to get all the, every Saturday night we'd get all the cushions off in the good room, like, because my mom had like the posh room that we weren't allowed in. Mad. She would drink our coffee in there in the morning. I don't think she was very happy, but anyway. And then we just, it's like a night's room.

It is a lovely room. Soundproof pardon on the walls, inside lock. And we were going there every Saturday night and get all the cushions off the set A and jump around the cushions. It was such a nice memory. Oh, I know. It's good.

It's still going. What was it like? It was the first time I was like, I'm 40. Like I was in bits. I was in bits. Really? Because you do the first day and you kind of practice everything and I was like, oh well, not as good as I thought I'd be.

And that's when you're not against a gladiator. What's the practice? So you do everything. So you try everything on the Eliminator. I got Joe Wicks to film you two in the Eliminator. Running up the, what's it called? The Travellaia. Yeah, straight down on my face.

Stop. Yeah. Yeah. Not a great runner. even though I do a lot of it I was going to see you're super fit no not really and then the gladiators

are coming like so you're like you're kind of terrified of them but I love having people like that on TV because when you look at like young girls

and I thought that like I'd love my daughter to watch them and be like look how sick they are yeah like strong yeah

they're strong women who will absolutely batter you if you piss them off yeah yeah the female gladiators on no joke they're all

they're all like stacked boys girls a lot on them we did a thing for children need with them I do a dance

thing with them and they were just massive. Yeah. Massive. They put so much effort into that and they're such like

they're just great characters as well. Yeah. And what I said before not one spot on them bums. Spotpots. Oh my God. Why are you talking about this?

As well, sorry, she's just said that to me like I said before like it's a thing she always says. What's happening? I think about this all the time right because

girls are talking bikinis. How the fuck do they can... How? Because if I'm on holiday, maybe I've got a bit of a spot. You've both laughed for so much, you're not making any sounds. Just one little spot, just a, like, a rogue little spot. And you did that thing with children here with the gladiators. And all the girls had like, tiny...

And I was like, not one of them. That's their costume. They don't have many spots in their hearts. Your son, right? Oh, God, I've cried my eyes, aren't. I actually have a pair of bikini bottoms that I can't wear because it gave me such a bad rash. It was so rotten. It felt like what's wrong with your arms.

It was so bad. The baby stuff. Oh, my God. I don't wear those that bikini anymore. Do you remember when I had Robin and I got follicle light? I said I would go talk about. Follocker light. It looked like someone had run a cheese grade out over both our ass cheeks.

It was really bad. It was red. It was like, I think people get it on their arms sometimes. After I had Robin, I had to go at the talk. That's because I was like, what's happening to my bone? It's like exposed paws. It's a, you know, sometimes people get it. You know, on the back of someone's arm here, they'll get like, red.

It's such hard that. Oh, my gosh. I can't believe you get spot boss. That is so. Not all the time. I just couldn't do a job where it was like you had to have your ass out. Babadoo, Babadoo, Babadu, Babadu, ba. At Medcan, we know that life's greatest moments are built on a foundation of good health,

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slash moments to get started Babadoo babadoo babadoo babadu And there's always the dream With that like you know All bikinis You don't know I assume you're not finding I'm learning

I am learning They're all going into thongs And I'm like please God Why are they doing that That really pisses me off No not everyone has an arse for a thong No I've bought some bikinis

recently And they're just They're just up my ass And I'm like I don't want a way with thong I'm not hungry bum No I blame they're all weighing them on

Yeah They've just been down a really fast slide. So I used to, I used to when I was younger, when I worked in Greece, me and my mate, had thonged bikinis. It's never been, I did, never been my thing, a thong. I remember we were talking about, before this, I was talking with the team about Cisco, the thong song.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Because two of the guys on the team thought that said that thang, the thang, thang, fang, and I was like, you know what's called thong song. How old are they? Oh, I don't know, that children, man. But they've probably heard it on classics or something. But a thong, even when I was. Was your only, have never been my thing.

No, you're not a thong guy. No. I do wear a lot of thongs because I don't like knickerlines. No. Just bear a knickerline. Yeah. I'm just very aware of how dirty an ass crack can be. You don't like the thought of it being up your ass.

Yeah, women's arous cracks. I don't know as, well, there's no hair. Yeah, they're a lot cleaner. Men have, like, hairy art cracks. So, like, you get more costs. You know, you know, you should go there, the counter in the supermarket and they would cut the cheese with that bit of string. Yeah.

It just reminds us. that. I couldn't well that's good for you. At least you don't have to wear thongs.

I mean, I don't. You know know I just spot by you ever see each other on holidays?

Spotpot. When I say when I say Vorg I'll have me full shorts I'm going to get a boiler suit.

Vogue's about to get to that's why I couldn't do the jungle. That was a concern for me as well I am saying.

Well, this is the thing getting in that bloody in that shower I couldn't do it. shower. It was freezing. It was lovely though, I have to say that. Oh, was it? Oh, was it? Yeah, that was nice. Yeah. Because you reeked all the time. Like, you reeked, cockroaches are the smelliest animals in the world. Well, insects, whatever you call them. It's absolutely, can't get the smell out of your clothes and they don't wash your clothes. So you're washing your clothes in the shower with shampoo, yeah. Oh, oh, God. It actually is, like, if you, you should do it, if you get asked to do it. Like, it is fun. You have not sold it at all. It is fun. It is fun. It is fun. Is it still the case that if you leave, you don't get paid?

Yeah, I couldn't, you have to, well, I'd, if you leave like early on. If you walk out. I don't know. I don't know if that would be true. But yeah, I had to stay till the end. So when everyone else, you wait for everyone to come out. Oh, but you were in a nice hotel. Did you?

Yeah. Yeah. Explain. Not looking takes to home. I felt like so, because I was desperate to get home from the kids. So, like, we're in this gorgeous place. I'm like, oh, I want to go home. And it's so.

lovely and I was like, shut up, folk. Oh, no, I get that though. It's a long time to be away from your kids. It was grand then. Once I could start speaking to them, it was all right. Oh, that's good. So now that I'm... But now that I'm here a couple of days, I'm like, God, it'd be nice to be in that quiet jungle again.

I do that, don't I? Anytime we're away from the kids, I'm like a night. I'm just awful. I miss them. I'm home for an hour and I'm like, why the fuck did I waste? Why did I waste all that time being sad and missing the kids? When now I'm here, they're doing my fucking dead.

Treat me like, shit. I drink a juice every five fucking minutes. I've said before having kids, it's like being in a restaurant. It's like being a waiter in a restaurant. There's one table in, but they're just constantly one stuff. Never.

I had to put a ban on. I was like three things. Three things you can ask for a night because my son asked, it must have been like 12 things one night. And then he finished it off and asking for a steak at 8 o'clock. And I was like, no. I was like, this has to end. I was like, you get a steak at 8 o'clock.

Were you raised on desperate Dan? It wouldn't end. I was like, I don't know. He just wants everything. Can I have a steak? No, you can't. Oh, gosh. Can I get a hot chocolate?

Can I have a juice? I have something to eat. You need to put a limit on it. We should actually. But he's just sitting there just asking for stuff and I'm running around and I'm like, no. I know. But he's got us by the short and curlies because if he does it himself, he make a fucking mess. I know.

I know. I know. But you need to just, you are, you're a helicopter parent. He hovers over the kids. Do you? Like, and I'm like, I'm like, just. chill the fuck, leave them alone. A lot of the time I completely

fucking ignore them. I like, because I like, the door need it. They'll fuck stuff up. Well, that's more. That's more on you then. Do you remember we were just put outside like dogs? Yeah.

When we were going up, that was it. I'll see you for lunch and then I'll see you for dinner. Yeah. And you'd be off for the whole day. We are too much on top of our kids. Yeah. And you know with Robin, he's 10 years old now.

If he honestly, ignore him, get it, you can get it himself. I have seen that kid wash his hands, dry his hands and then walk away and the tap is still on full fucking wax yeah he's it I go robin Robin Robin and he goes what

and I point at the tap and he looks at it and he goes all right I'm like every time I go in his room every light's on they all do that I know

I don't know I don't know how our youngest you know Rave he's like it's mad to watch him compared to his brother he'll like he'll put stuff away he'll like close drawers

and everything he's really conscientious yeah he's really good he's four Four and a half. It's wild.

Oh my God. I'm always really taking aback. Anytime Robin does anything, you know the classic sort of shot in an action movie where they're walking away and the thing explodes behind them. Whenever Robin's done anything

he's just walking away and everything is on fire. He's the first though. So you run around after the first one so bad. Have you always got similar? What have you got? You've got two boys and a girl. Oh, they've got the same personality or?

No, all different. The girl is like, boys are just crazy. Yeah, they all. They are just wild compared to girls. She'll sit down and she'll colour and she'll draw and the boys will just be running around. Yes. Yeah.

We've got friends with just girls and it's, and you go to their house and it's actually pleasurable. Yeah, but you say to them like, wait till they're 14. Right. That's when I think the turn happens. I think so, yeah. Yeah, I remember the turn happening for me. Yeah.

Oh, you've got a sister, haven't you? Yeah. Have you got any, are you got brothers? I've got two brothers, yeah. Two brothers and a sister. Oh. My sister's my favourite though. I don't have a favourite

Yeah right Everyone does No I don't I'll get on with both of mine actually Very different I've got a brother And the sister And they are nothing like each other

And you love them both equally Yeah I do actually Because they're so different I do We're going to a caravan for the weekend Who do you want to come Kevin or Kate

Full of shit Kate Full of shit You've got a question I do have a question. There's not a question, probably. It's probably just

a nice little story. Please keep me anonymous. It's from the public. Oh, I love when they say keep me anonymous because you know it will be bad, don't you? Oh my God.

Do you have people... It might not be. It might be a bit more, you know, you never know. Sometimes they just don't want and then you want to know them. Real dirty stories sometimes. Yeah.

But when they're anonymous, it doesn't matter. Yeah, you can do that. Okay, right. Dear Chris and Rosie, please keep me anonymous. My way. Because I don't want to get

reporting. it to anyone. Brilliant. Oh my gosh. We have a family Christmas tradition of going to Panto and Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve. Panto's big where we live. A lot of people go Christmas Eve. It gets sold out really quickly. Oh, I'm good. Panto, just not Christmas Eve.

Yeah, like your tradition. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This includes me, my two sisters, their partners and kids. So, in total, six adults, seven kids. Mayhem, and I'm not sure we'll do it again. Last year, it was Cinderella. And in the middle of the second half, my eight-year-old, Elsie, not her real name, who was a few seats down the row from me, decided she wanted to go to the toilet.

I managed to squeeze past people in the row and get her to the loo on time. All fine, no drama, and we rushed back to our seats for the last 15 minutes. The panto ended. We all got up to give a standing ovation. I looked down the road to my right and couldn't see Elsie. Where is Elsie? Where is Elsie? I mouthed to my husband, where's Elsie? He, of course, responded that he thought she was with me and had clearly lost track of our movements since the toilet break. As you can imagine I was completely panic-stricken. We were all freaking out. All of us went into action looking under seats and shouting for Elsie. We rushed to the lobby to speak to the staff and there was Elsie, sat on a still eating an ice cream and having the time of her life. What there

about Elsie? How old is Elsie? What is she said? Why am I, my mind is she 82? Oh, she's eight. Clever eight-year-old. It turned out that after our toilet break, rather than following moved back to our seats, Elsie had wandered off to the foyer and befriended to the theatre staff. Goffrey ice cream. Stritcher, ding it. Oh, yeah. I would have gotten in the white van. I would have.

I know when I was younger. Fucking hell. Sweets in here, okay. Sweet and puppies in the same place. Oh, the puppies not eating the sweets? I'll have to check this off for myself. Is there not puppy hair on the sweets? Let me investigate.

When they asked where her parents were, she had apparently said, well, my mum took me to the toilet and then just left me. I was so scared of the dark. I thought it was safer to come out here. This was, of course, not true. What I assume happened was that she knew she would get some free sweets and ice cream if she played the abandoned child card at Christmas fair play to her. Oh my God, Elsie.

Very clever girl. Sneak. My God, I never thought about doing something like that when I was younger. No, me neither. I don't know. I did once. My brother went missing in B&Q, right? I love being Q. It's a great shop. Yeah. It's a great shop. And my mom and dad were looking for him, my sister. And I ended up, and I don't know how to this day. Have I told you this? I think I have. I ended up in the postman Pat ride. And it, I don't know to this day, right? I don't know if it was broke or somebody kept putting money in for us because it just kept going and going and going and going. And I'm like... It just stayed on. And I'm like, was it broke? Did someone put money in? Some creeper.

Put money in this thing and I'm just on the own. Can you imagine, though? I'm sure I've told you. Kevin is, we were a B-N-Q, right? So, you know, there's a big, that they do the full tenor and everything. He was fully missing. Imagine they're going out at the bottom.

There's, you know, he's in the lumbar section. A big railway sleeper has fallen and crushed him. Your mom's crying. Your dad's crying. Kids cried. It just, where's, where's running. It was. Oh, no, that's only in a head holder.

Oh, no, that's only in a head holder. Yeah, every time you hear it, your mom freaks out. God. It's so true. And now all I can think is I think is I think there was some pervert there, just putting pounds in. Right, great.

Wow, well, all I can think is if that was your sister, Kate, who you claim isn't your favourite, you'd have been in the fucking search party as well and not up on a person part ride on your own having the time of your life. How dare you say your daughter of a favourite? How dare you?

Nah, we weren't missing all the time. It's just, yeah, pain in the ass. Pain in the ass. Thank you. Thank you so much. This has been really good fun. You're welcome. Thank you.

I've had a great time. Thanks guys. Guys, make sure you check out Vorg's vlogs. Oh yeah. I've started vlogging now. I've signed a vlog. I'll sign it and go into the jungle if you're going to ask. I bet you'll like us.

No, I'll hate it. You'll like it. I'll hate it and everyone will hate me. You don't do it. I will come and find you. And I'll text you when I'm going out with my gang. Well, I'm glad you've got some new friends. Guarantee you all.

Thanks.