Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Public faux pas, oversharing and who would Rosie play in Shrek?

Episode Date: October 9, 2026

On this week's podcast Chris an Rosie catch up on their various public faux pas and bond over concerns about oversharing. Rosie shares her love for amateur dramatics after being the recipient of two awards! Chris has more tales from his tour and they get to the bottom of some 5 star hotel reviews... There's one beef and it's a sweet one, icks, and of course some contributions to the new feature... If you want to get involved and have your stories and voice notes included on the podcast, then get in touch!  📧: [e-mail] 📱: 07874 406650 You can watch the podcast on the Shagged Married Annoyed YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@shagged.married.annoyed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Coming up on this week's episode, I've shagged married and I. Chris and I have both kind of put with foot in it. Yes. With members of the public. Separately both made four pars, I do believe. Speaking of four pars, Rosie kicked over one of the cameras halfway through. That was fun. I've got a very positive beef for you this week.

Oh yeah, it's nice. I don't have any beefs because I am better than you. We've been like ships in the night, haven't we? Uh-huh. And we've obviously got emails from you, lovely lot. Enjoy. Hello you are listening to and possibly watching

Shag Maradenoid with me Rosie Ramsey and my husband Christopher Ramsey Hello hello welcome guys Hope everyone's all right oh there Hope you have a nice week If this is Friday as you're listening to it If you're listening to it after the weekend Hope you're about to have a nice week

Oh that's nice all base is covered Enjoy just a bit of positivity there Now Rosie anyone not watching Will not know but you have two blocks of wood on your desk in front of you There are Christopher What are there? That's extremely rude.

Right. And I want you to take that back straight away. These are actually called A Awards. Yeah. Right? Awards. Yeah. Awards.

Yes. Nice. I was at the Noda Awards. Yes. On Saturday evening. And with my South Shields, Gilbert and Sullivan, crew. She did a little gang sign with her hand. She said crew there.

It should be this. Oh, singing. It looks like you something to dick. Can't do that. What? Like, look like I'm something like. Someone went viral for doing it on dancing with the stars in America. I saw there was a clip, someone in the crowd,

and she was a famous person to do whom she was, but she tried. Yeah, she was a little bit of the night, and then like spent the rest of the night looking down the camera, whenever she could go, and it was a mic. Very funny, very funny. Listen, anyway, you've got, to me. You've got two bits of wooden. Back to me.

We won the award for the best concert, and the best, I won best concert twice. We won best concert, but one of them. No, listen, one of them was awarded the regional councillor best concert in North

Region and that was us. Oh, by the way though, they do them in districts like All right, okay. So it's District 1, the District 8, so it's like different areas of the Northeast. You all have to fight? Of course, it went on for so long.

Really? Yeah, they do. It was so fucking long. These things do. And like, yeah. But it was great and it's, I'm really chuffed and we work hard, you know? Like, it's I'm at a society. Nobody's getting paid. It's a hobby. And it's just, I think it's nice to have hobbies and I think

I'm a real, I just love amateur theatre and I think long live amateur theatre. I said, in my opinion. So I said something, so my mate Jordan came down to the Manchester show that I had at the weekend. Big thanks to everyone who came to shows. I'm just going to put them away for now. No worries. Go on. Give them a little kiss. There we go. They're lovely little awards, well done. Hey.

So chuffed. Do you know how hard it was to put that show together? Yeah. Oh no. I was, yeah. I know. You lived through it. genuinely really hard. I did do the district joke, you know, nobody fucking on. Oh, no, don't do that. When I walked out of the stage, I went, do-da-da-da-da-da-da-hous, it's not a fucking chuckle of. Oh, Jesus. So, two things. My mate Jordan came down

when I did my Manchester saw last Saturday night, and I said, it was standing at the side of the stage when Carl was on, and he looked up in Manchester Opera House, it's like massive and it's all, you can see the lights at the back, and you can see all the ropes that go up the side, all the lines for all the curtains and stuff. And he went, hey, it's pretty cool back here, isn't it? And I literally looked at him and I went, oh, there is a, there's a real magic to the theatre. And he just looked at it as and I was like, ah.

Oh, God. Yes, that was, that was a weird thing to say, wasn't it? But there is, there is a magic. I love the theatre. And also, whenever I have, as a comedian, hosted awards ceremony, they always say the person, people, the people organising the awards, they're like, oh my God, they're so up for it, the crowd, they love it, they're so excited. Never excited. And they're always fucking gutted when I'm like. like award one of 35.

They're like, ah. No, they were pretty, as an audience, so they were pretty engaged. All right, okay. They played, like, musical theatre songs in between all of the awards, and that was a bit of ekey because everyone sang along.

That's nice. That was cute, though. It was nice. But also, there is a little bit of, like, whoring about the societies. Excuse me. Dare I say it. Excuse me.

They all knew each other, because they all just kind of, like, oh, someone, what's, what show you're doing, Shrek? Oh, there's a part in that that I like. and so they'll go to that society and then it's like, oh, what are you doing? Did you take Shrek off the top of your head?

There was so many of them did Shrek. What? It was like... Oh, it's a fucking musical now, isn't it? Yeah, of course, Shrek's a musical, right, sorry. There's only so many shows that are allowed to, that Amateur societies are allowed to do. Right?

To have the rights to. Really? Mm-hmm. I didn't know this. Oh, yeah, you've got paid to do them and there's only a certain number of shows. Like, in Amity Society, you can't, we can't do Disney.

Not allowed to do Disney. Not allowed at all? You've got a pay to sing them. Jesus. Yeah. It's mad. There's so many rules, guys. Guys, there's so many rules.

Guys. So, yeah, but they all know each other. And they're all kind of like. But honestly, 15 year old me, right, when I joined the GNS all them years ago, if she could have known that I had a won a double award at the Nodas, the bloody Nodas, then should have gone, should have died. Right there and then on the spot. It's really lovely, right, because we've got a plethora of a war. The awards behind were and were being nominated for all kinds of stuff for national television awards and stuff like that.

But the fact that them knowed us that you went to and only knew about since you were 15 still means so much to it is very, very nice. Absolutely. That's the first thing I have to say. Second thing, I'm literally every single person listening now, it's on their lips. Are you going to do Shrek? If so, who you're going to be? Oh, honestly, so I know you're all thinking that I do Fiona.

I'd want to be the donkey. I knew you were going to say donkey. I wish I'd said it. I believe. I wish I'd said donkey. I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe. that's his song. Really?

I'm a believer. Right. In the film, I don't actually know the musical that way. No, I would be, I'd either be, we'll consider it

I need to see a few more don't use. I'd want to be the donkey or the, or Pinocca, you always got a good song in track of the musical. Oh, there we go. I'm not being the fucking princess,

although she is. Most age time. Yeah, and also she does turn into an ogre. No, I always take the funny, I want the, I want the smallest part. Yeah.

This is what I've done for years, right? I want the smallest part, but I will shine in that, part. Is that it? Oh, you want to outshan everyone else?

Fucking right. Least hours. Least hours. Least amount of time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. What do you call it? The comic relief.

You want to be the comic relief. You want to just pop and do bish bash, bosh and gone. Yeah, I want to do nothing. But then I want to be in the reviews going. Stole the show. Light relief from rosy. There it is.

It used to be winter. That was me. Wow, you're so buzzing with it being back in the day. You've actually went back to your mate. Do you perform under your maiden name in amateur dramatics now? Is that your thing? Oh my God. I showed you in there.

Yeah, you showed it. It was really funny. Yeah. Anyway, listen, enough of that shrekking about. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you so much for watching. If you are watching on YouTube, please subscribe. That would be lovely.

And without further ado, it is time for this week's lucrative, lucrative sponsor. Gotta be honest with you, a bit more of a male-centric sponsor this week. Apologies to the female listeners out there. Bit more of a male. We're already human. I say male, not even male, sorry. Let's be more progressive than that. A bit more of a sponsor for people with penises.

Not saying this hasn't happened to people without penises, but if it has, fuck, I don't know how, I would like to know how, fair play to you. This week sponsor is, accidentally pissing on the end of your belt. Oh.

Yeah. Any belt? How are you doing that? So I opened, I went to your eye all. I was in a supermarket, toilet, which makes it even better.

Literally, fly down, open my belt, open, open, toilet, started going, straight away. So do you not just take your penis out of your...

I don't know who's doing that. Cable surgery. Tough. Tough. To do that. Yeah. Oh,

you've got all kinds going on. Yeah. So you have to like, you have to unzip and then go in and then if you're tucked in you've got to lift the shirt up.

Well, your boxers and Y fronts don't have the little slit in, isn't it? They don't have the Y. No one's using the Y. It's crazy. I don't know.

It's like a fucking, you know, can remember a snake or a knock of you? Yeah. Remember when you'd fill the screen and it was just like down up around and you just had to go back on itself.

It's got my attention quite quickly I'm not going to lie. Snake did. Not a games person. I had a mate, I'm sure I've said this before in the podcast, I had a mate who could get the super high score on Snake. And I remember one night were all out somewhere sitting and everyone had Nokia's.

And all that we did all night was he just took turns to get the high score on everyone's full. And everyone watched him. You have told me that. I don't know if you told. It's fucking nuts. These guys. Just stood, everyone's saying it was like, right,

oh, yeah, he did a class. And it was like, oh. So then they could go to school or college or whatever and go. Look at me high score on Snake. And it was much higher than everyone else is. What a life. What a life. So anyway, unzip, unbutton, open the flat, open the belt.

It flips out. I start going to the toilet and it just bounces back round, goes right in front of my dick and just... Oh my God, wasn't even little dip-dab. It was the full splash. I've got a belt on. It came round and basically like, imagine it was... It was like it was trying to stop me way from entering the urina.

It was like, no! It just went all over the belt. Oh my God. It was devastating. Was that today? No, no. It was a while ago. It was like last week.

God, I'm going to... I'm actually going to wet myself. you know, come hurry up. Oh, really? You need the toilet? Yeah, you're talking about that. It's just made us... Well, there we go.

Need it even more. Well, let's crack on. All right. Get the jingle on and go and get yourself... Don't speak about jingles in front of me. Get the jingle on and get yourself for a tinkle. Oh, that's me new in. There we go.

Copyright. It's fancy. We had to fight about the jingle. We couldn't settle on a jingle. Jingle do. So this is the jingle. Jingle do. We hope you like that.

The jingo do do bado do bapado do babado do ba jingo Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of Shagmurranoid. Hello. If you're watching on YouTube, I just went in the loo and then I came back and I kicked the camera. My camera. My camera. So if you, well, it looks hairy to me. It looks okay.

I don't think that I noticed. I don't think people pay much attention. But you've got to say, because when I see like a very slight mistake in a film or whatever or if something I'm watching, I'm like, ah, it consumes me thoughts. Just in case. I know, but you're not that kind of person I, but I haven't. Other people out there are. Yeah, very true.

I see you. If you're that person, I see you. So just the life of the Ramses, you are still on tour. Yes. Very much. We're like passing little ships at the minute, aren't we? It's really odd at the minute. Yeah, really odd at the minute.

We are ships in the night. I've got stuff to talk to you about because I haven't even spoke to you. I've got something. I've got stuff to tell you. I support. So we did the podcast on Monday and then Monday night you went to work. And then I'd, I'd, I'd, You came back the day I was going and then I didn't get back until Sunday.

So I didn't, but it wasn't until Saturday that I actually probably sat and supported you on the phone because you were so busy with your job. Yeah. So yeah. But it's good. It is good. No, I'm thoroughly enjoying my new little job as well. Booked and blessed. Nathan's Lush.

The team are really nice. Brilliant. The show itself's really good. Fantastic. I've cried a lot of times. I don't know if I'm actually even allowed to talk about it, but I don't know if I'm the right person for the job. You've cried on camera with the people. You haven't just like

I've just gone back to your hotel and broke down. Maybe I have. I don't know how people do it. Do you know long lost family? You watched it before, haven't you? Yeah. Like, I don't think I could do it. No, you'd be a mess.

Well, you did children in need without crying. I'd have bode my eyes out. So, right, so the thing with when I did children in need, them VTs. You don't see them, do you? You're busy. No, I watched them beforehand. I'll say you need to send me these

and I watch them beforehand. If I watch them on the night, I'll fall apart. And I do all me crying beforehand. I do it like a day before. Might be why they didn't book us again. He's just fucking bringing everyone down. He's fucking problem. He's trying out the way.

Yeah, you've got to set aside a day before for him to do all. He's crying. He's just not a nice way to work. So yeah, I would literally get all me crying out of the way. And when I had to do the Vos for them, if it was a clip that I did the voiceover for, I would sit and cry in the booth. And then so on the night, if I caught it, you know, I want to know what it is, but I don't want to watch it on the night.

No, totally, totally. So yeah, yeah. There is one thing that happened that I haven't told you about. I stayed in a hotel. I don't want to name the hotel. But this has never happened, but apparently it happens quite a lot. Right. So when we were leaving the restaurant, the lady was like,

he has a QR code. If you give us a five-star review, I get a fiver. What the fuck? Yeah. She personally gets a fiver. She personally gets a fiver For every five-star review that's left Mentioning her name

What? And I was like I took it and I went oh thanks so much But you know when you're like But what if I didn't think it was five-star Worthy? Well that's yeah but that's amazing though Because you'll just do it to give her a fiver

Because it's not coming out with your pocket That's like a free tip Um No I fucking didn't Sorry No No No

No Yeah If she should have been like sensational than absolutely. I think she spoke to us once. Right. Sorry.

I find that the most unprofessional. It's a hoodwink. That's why I said it's genius because it's a hoodwink. It's a fucking, it's a scam. It's, if you just quickly fill this out, I get a fiver.

How good is that? And also, and also I'm really good because I genuinely pay quite a lot of attention to reviews. But like you've said, for a truck advisor,

you should be able to see the person's lounge and I completely agree. Like, you love this bedroom so much. What's your bedroom look like? Just giving away one of me gags for me, but whatever. It's one of the biggest first jokes of me two are there,

but that's okay. They can all have that for free. What are you going to take it out? That's fine. You can hear it again. People listen to this stuff all the time. Garlic bread, oh man. Get over yourself.

Yeah, but I was just like, I just found it really. Yeah. No, it's a hoodwink. It's a scam. It's clever. Very clever. She didn't even do it.

She didn't even do it like, look, Christmas is coming. Also you wanted a full sob but you wanted a John Lewis advertisement. Do you know what it is? If should have been like, look at the start of this thing and if you leave a five-star review I hope you think that it's been worth five stars

we've really looked after a year, we've tried our best we've worked really hard, I'll get a fiver. But it was, right, if you get this review if you scan that QR court, I'll get a fiver and then she gets a fiver and all. I thought, no. Well, I was so, no, but I was. like please please try and sell this to us because because also when we actually went to the

restaurant there was two massive groups and we sat down as a four and they were like if you could we're waiting for us Nathan to arrive better of mind we're having drinks and they were like if you could hurry up an order because we want to get these people's food order in so it's like can you fucking hurry up so we can get your shitty little four people out the way and get all of these and then when we were leaving she was like I don't want to rushes but actually we're about and it was like you'd leave a five-star review

for a fiverer? Fuck off. Yeah, you can't be giving people time frames and then asking for a five-star review. No, it's wild. Here's a question for you. What if she just said if you leave a five-star review

a village somewhere in a third world country gets a clean water well? Then I would have left a five-star review. I'm just checking out a total bastard. Fair enough, good. No, oh my God. No, I'm not. And honestly, but I would love for that girl

to have a fiver. I'd love nothing more. I'd rather give her the fibre myself and I'd rather say, yeah, there's a fiverer. I'll tell you what, there's a couple of fivers for all you mate, but I'm not leaving five store because it wasn't five star, and I don't want somebody else to come and stay here.

You can't bribe people who leave five-star reviews. It's bullshit, yeah. This is the world we're living now. Leave a five-star review, I'll get a fiver. But everybody who comes will think that it's five-star, and actually we got totally hurry the fuck up because there was 20 other people waiting for their food order in the kitchen.

Like, I honestly don't understand like a bitch but I grew up working in like customer service and like the hospitality industry mincella's cafe at the nuke um and like I just wouldn't date well sorry no I'm gonna double down on that even more I'm in an industry we're currently in an industry I'm currently on tour with the stand-up tour a five-star review is the most fucking epic pinnacle it's the pinnacle of what you fucking strive for yeah I can count on one hand the amount of times I've had five-star reviews it's fucking ray you know four you go off four sometimes the reviewers are really twatty and they'll give you a four and a half and you go

oh come on man was that it re it reads like a four it's only what is it it's a three but it reads like a four we see it at him a fringe all the time i got a three off uh such and such and such but uh honestly it reads like a four that's some good quotes in there it reads like a four but yeah um fantastic am i my heart you've made us feel horrible now no no i'm i don't i would love to deliberately deliberately wind in you up but it's just i'm deliberately winding you I know what you mean. If you had a favour in your pocket, you'd rather just go,

can I just give you a fiver? Because I don't want to review this shit place at five stars because that's just ridiculous. Everything's review now, though. Everything is. And I know what's sounding hypocrites because we have asked, we have asked people to review and like and rate

and subscribe on here. But it's just, yeah. Yeah, we don't, like. And I do get, I get, I get a grand for every five star. Yeah, of course. But she was saying, I get a fiver. It's very clever.

It's pulling on your heartstrings. Well, they've said, tell them. When people are leaving, Janice, tell them, say I get a fiver if this is a five. She might not get a fiver for every five-star review.

I'm just putting that out there. She physically might not get a fiver for every five-star review. It might just be a thing to see it to get the five-star reviews. It genuinely might be a thing to see. I hate this world, you know that. Crazy, man.

I actually hate this world. Yeah. Like, I genuinely went to bed feeling bad because part of us was like, I wanted to have a fiver, but the other part was, Janice, it wasn't worth, it wasn't worth five-star.

It wasn't five stars. That's goddamn right. Which is called John is. No, I don't know. All right. But like... Do you want to feel better about yourself? Because I did something much more

assholeery than that this week. Oh, yeah, go on. I feel bad now. Don't feel bad. I'm taking the piss out of it. But as an ex-hospitaly person. Yeah. No, I fully understand.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I get it. I feel a bit bad. No, but you know, yeah, I totally get it. But listen, I can beat it. If you feel a bit bad about something you've done, always come to me. Okay.

Come on, then. I'll tell you what's wrong. I'll tell you what I've done that's worse I'll make you feel better imagine if you made me call your uncle Chris all the time how awful with that big

I was sick in my mouth of it when I said it imagine like a weird fetish thing I'm only answering Uncle Chris Rosie it's Monday you're gonna only call his Uncle Chris so we're going to

actually did I just ask sorry I'm really sorry I don't want to put in no you did I've got one request yes please can you not mention golf I'm not going to

at all Okay. You just move on. Is it about, I just feel like you've been very golf heavy. Just that story was all about,

all about golf. I'm joking, it wasn't, right, so I got to a venue. So in the, along the lines of, you know when we're on the train or whatever,

and we said it before, we're on the train, we've got loads of suitcases and someone always goes, oh, how long's, them kind of fucking interactions. Which I always say.

That irritates. So I'm on the train by myself and now someone's like, oh, how long are you here for? Literally, I could be leaving my family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could be, yeah, you don't know. Anyway, so I get out of the van at the destination,

which I'm not going to mention just in case, right? And I'm, I'm just been asleep, I had a little nap in the van. Me and Carl get out, the tour a month it gets out, and they're getting stuff out the back, and I'm sort of helping out, and then I stand at the side of the van, and I look at my reflection in the van,

and I kind of just move me hair a bit, and I look rough as fuck, I've just woke up, I look terrible. And this guy who works at the venue, trying to have a bit banter, he went oh you still look great man you're still good looking don't worry and I thought and I went oh I went well it's been a long journey so I'm surprised like and he went uh and I thought that was all right and I got stuff out the van and I happened to look at myself again because I had a big bit of hair sticking up

with the back off where I'd be asleep in the van and I was flattening it down and he went yeah we've got mirrors inside there you know right and I thought you've had it twice now I'm not having this So he went, we've got mirrors inside, you know. Oh, don't. What did you see? I turned and looked at him. I pointed at his face and I went, doesn't fucking look like it. He didn't speak.

It was for the rest of the night. He didn't say another thing. It was for the rest of the night. I told Carl, I got Carl to be dressing room, and I got in. I whispered him. I went, was this too much? And Carl went,

fucking hell me. I went, I just woke up. I'm just, look, I'm... You're going to be on the news for, like... But they... Just killing, running someone over who looks at your funny one day. Don't like... Don't, like, I've just woke up.

I know, I get it. I know, it's annoying. It's annoying. Dain't flex the muscles. I'm a fucking professional comedian. Don't have two fucking pops that doesn't think I'm not going to fucking, like, I can't help it. It's a fucking...

It's like, you know, when the, it's a reaction. You know, when they hit you, the doctor hits your knee and your fucking leg. It's just a reaction. But, called it even worse. Same venue, right? Same venue. So this is why, this is why whenever we go to a job, Chris and I together, because my tolerant, I know I come on here, right, and I do,

and I have a whinge in the morning, I'm not normally due on and I'm a bitch, right? But actually, if you meet me in public, I genuinely have got a really, I kind of can take a lot of shit. So whenever we do a job together, what do I always say? Chris doesn't represent both of us. Just separately, please. So imagine being with Carl as well. So, right.

Oh, God, Carl's just as bad as you. So at this venue, this venue, great venue, phenomenal. Crowder amazing. What was his job? Who the guy? Uh-huh. He was like something to do with the stage management.

Yeah, like a techie, something to do with the stage management or whatever. It's the same venue, right? Oh, Chris. Did he not even take it funny? He's sort of like, oh, it was like, you know, like, Dean, you can't, like, you can't start sparring with us and then get upset when I, when I, when I win, you can't do it because it's, I'm a comedian, like, it's my job.

It's what I do. and I didn't but I sort of taught him a bit I was like thanks mate like thank you but it's to say I hate him I hate it basically the banter stopped you wouldn't banter with us anymore I took the banter too far

I hate it when people take the piss out of people's clothes yeah I don't like when people talk about what you look like I talk about what you're wearing it's not listen to this this is and I'm only telling this and I text Carl we're talking about on the way home the night and I texted when I got home and I said

can I tell that story on the podcast not the one I've just told the one I'm about to tell and I went mainly because I don't want this venue to think that it was me that said the final thing because I said yes I said the mirror thing and yes it was a little bit harsh but you know and he wasn't a bad looking bloat to be fair

but so this is both Carl's done the same call's done a better one a worse one much worse at the same venue same venue okay so we all pile in the van do some selfies outside some meet some fans and then me and Carl pile in the van and the van doors

in the shut right and we're sitting there and to our manager Mick is in the front and call well Goal went really fucking loud And the award for the venue staff Who Smell Most Like Cigarettes Goes to

And then he said the name of the venue And then the next thing we heard was Mick Through his open fucking window Go, thanks guys, thank you very much And all the staff went Yeah, thanks, bye Mick The front fucking window was open And all I'm on here to say is

It was Carl Hutchinson who said that It wasn't me. Because I said that venue is going to say that as Chris Ramsey's band, as Chris Ramsey's van pulled away, he shouted something horrible. And that wasn't me. It was Carl. And the award for the venue staff who smell the most like cigarettes goes to.

Bye lads. Thanks. Cheers me. We brought Carl. What fuck, I went the fucking windows open. Again. I actually have nothing to do with this tour. No.

No. No. shape or form am I associated with the two of these. But also, yeah, I didn't leave the five-star review of Jonas. Congratulations. Welcome to being an asshole. It's took you a long time. It's took you a long time.

But where she's on board. Come on. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. Speaking of things that you shouldn't really say, why do I not have the ability to shut the fuck up? You'd been over Shane again, love. Ah, there it is. It's every time I'm in a new situation.

So I started this new TV show and we're filming. And it's very intense, you're kind of with the people all day. But then I'd just leave every night and lie in my bed and go, why did you say that? Why did you say that? Like, why did you talk about glycerin suppositories to people who you don't even know? Oh, no, not the snow. Just, yeah, just, you know, just got spread around that I hadn't had a shit,

so I had to have a suppository. And it was the first day of filming. And you're just like, I did the same. I have a bit of respect. I can't help myself. When I did time crashes for Channel 4, anyone who doesn't know, I did a show for Channel 4 years ago, really fucking good show.

Me and a few of that, you know, famous people had to stay in, in period. So in like, you know, the past for a couple of days, like a movie set. And yeah, the toilets were of the period. So it was holes in the ground, fucking, and I was like, absolutely not. And they were like, you're going to be bunged up.

And I was like, I'll not be bunged up because on the days off where we go to a hotel, I'll just hire a supposedly up and just empty me. and then that'll be that and that's exactly what I did yeah yeah but it's just why like I just feel silences I feel silences I'm really bad with like stuff that people don't need to know yeah but also um the boss guy Sam was there and you tell like everyone's he's the boss like everyone's sort of like very respectful to him and obviously he's from

Cardiff and and I had for some reason when we were just about to do some VTs I was like oh my god I was like do you speak Welsh he was like yeah yeah speak Welsh and I was like no star career back and the crew were all sort of like what's you talking about and he nobody's ever looked at us this way just sort of went

right and then they were all like okay and what is that well I had a Welsh boyfriend for a little while and it means like

good night my little love right it was just massively inappropriate did you see you said it right I actually googled it after and I think it's No, I think it's, because the way he looked at it is, I was like,

have I just fucking said hoistming up me back end? Like, literally, I was like, what have I said? And everyone was just, like, I was. The boss on a new job, sorry, can I say it for once? Judge me and Rosie separately. I've got nothing to do with this job. Fucking. Going into a bloody Welsh.

Maybe he was impressed, I don't know. But no, it means like night stall, little love or something. Like, good night, little love. just, it was just inappropriate, Chris. I just didn't need it. Honestly, didn't need to say it. But he didn't say well done or yeah, that means this or anything. No, which actually leads me to believe. He's not well. He can't speak well. He can't speak well. He can't speak more Welsh than him. He can't speak Welsh. He's full of it. Maybe that's what he tells everyone. Ask him what a poppy ping is. What is it? It's a microwave. I think it's bullshit. I think that one's a piss take one that people have invented. That's

just sort of stuck. Yeah, I think it's one. Yeah. Highly racist actually. Yeah. So there we go. Yeah. So, I mean, we've got, we got, we got. We got. We got. really really inappropriate so that's what happens when you get bored on these sets all day that's what happens

so good again don't judge Rosie and me in the same breath my accent's good though in it north dark I don't know

yeah do you want to know the most psychotic thing I've ever done in my life that I did the other day which I think is

really I did it and I knew as I was doing it I was like this is so fucking weird but I did it anyway It's not that bad.

It's not, no one saw it. No one would have to hear it unless I said it. So I got to Stockton to do a gig the other night. And I wear these quite comfortable chinos to travel in, right? Quite comfortable chinos. Yeah, but they're old. They're old Levi chinos. I've had them for a while.

They're black, but the fucking nasal leg. Did you finally throw away those jean shorts? I did throw away jean shorts, yes. I regretted it, but I did throw away some jeans shorts. I stopped wearing the jeans shorts. This summer did not see the jean shorts. Yeah, I thought, do you know what? I thought I hadn't seen them.

They are horrible. They are horrible. They're gone now, so fucking drop it. Good, I'm glad. So I've got these chinos on, right? And they're like, they're so, I've worn them so much that they're sort of almost hang a bit low now. The green ones.

No, I've got three pairs of the green ones. I've got one pair of the black ones. The knees are a bit shiny on them just off wearing them. Yeah. So, but I saw. Sometimes to make them look a little bit cooler, I've got a little turn-up in them, right? So you can say a little bit of ankle, so they look like a little bit shorter. So they look a bit like a little bit cooler on a hot night and get a little bit.

Anyway, I got to Stockton and I took them off and a bit of gravel from our gravel drive fell out of the turn-up. And obviously, as I'd walked into the van when Mick was picking us up, a bit of gravel had gone in my pants. And it fell onto the floor in the dressing room. And I picked it up and I went, oh, that's a bit of gravel from our drive. I put it in my bag. Yeah. And I brought it back. I was like, oh, it's a, I brought it all the way to stock and it's not,

it'll not know where it is. Like, I put it in my bag. You're right. No, I brought it up. And I got it was in me, it was in my head on it. I was on stage. And I was like, I've got to remember to put that gravel back. And I got out of the van and I went to me, the side pouch, it's like a backpack,

Levi backpack as well. I think the center is it actually, thank you. And I leave my backpack. And I put my hand in the side where the drinks pouch is and I'd put the bit of gravel at the bottom. I got it out and I just put it back with the drive.

You know, with its mates. I'm all right with that. I'm all right with that. I paid for that gravel. It's fucking expensive gravel, you know? It is expensive.

If I did that every day, right? If I turned up at a gig every day with gravel and I just left it there would have no gravel on the drive by the end of the year. That's crazy.

Degrade. I just, I don't know, I'm not judging you too much on that one because I like, I'm a bit like that. Like, sometimes I think toys can talk

and stuff. Like weird shit. So yeah. Just pour it home. That's fine. With these mates? Yeah. It's brought home.

Yeah. Oh, I kind of like that. And what would you do with it? What would you just chuck it out the van? That's from my house. It means a lot. I'm glad you're on board with this. I'm on board with that.

Good. I am on board with that. It's bum. It's time for what's your beef. What's your beef? What's your beef? Come on. Let it all out.

Now, I've got a beef. La la la la la la. All right. I've got a beef this week. I'll be honest with you. It's a wet. wet beef softy

soapy beef wet beef sloppy wet beef better not be about that beef that I cooked yesterday for the dinner that was lovely beef

I know but it was a bit rare on it yeah but it was lovely wildly yeah no I just wrote this down

and you said you don't you might not have a beef I haven't got one but I haven't seen each other no I haven't seen you and yeah and I love you love you too

so much more than anyone I've ever loved ever yeah what do you ask boyfriend that you had more yeah no way yeah

amazing all right that down. My beef with you... No straw carry I'd binned. Great. My beef with you is when I tell you you look gorgeous, you keep rolling your eyes.

Oh. Stop it and believe us. You're beautiful. Never. And that's me beef. I'm a... Soppy, a...

Horrible wench. Thank you. That's really sweet. And do you know what? I actually, genuinely, it's lovely when you tell us that I look nice. And I know I roll my eyes. Because I feel stupid.

No, but it goes in there, so I really appreciate it. Thank you so much. Okay. Thank you. Love you. That's really sweet. Why you mean gross? Oh.

Why ain't night? What's happened? What's happened? I'm dying. I'm dying. Thanks, that's really sweet. That's not a beef. That's nice.

Well, it's annoying when I'm like, oh my God, you look gorgeous and you're like, ugh. I'm like, I don't feel it. I know. No, but it's like, sometimes I feel like it was like the same reaction as if I went up and said it were fucking stranger in a supermarket. Oh, sorry. How did you say you look gorgeous? Oh! You're one step away from pepper spreeing us when I tell you you look gorgeous and you need to stop it.

I just never feel it. Well, you are. Thank you though. I appreciate that. And I think you told us after I'd just been plucking me moustache ears. Because I've got a moustache? No. In certain light, I'm in my mirror.

In my like, I've got a little mirror which is like the... Oh, this is embarrassing. You're not talking about that mustache that I drew on your mirror in Sharpie, the black one, the curly one, the power one. I just drew it on, man. How is this still in the top ten? How? How? How? How? Do you remember how to?

I do remember how to. It was a brilliant programme. It was. What was the last, what was the catch for you? See Van Gogh before you. Oh, and that's how for now. Oh, it was as well. Fuck you.

They definitely said fuck you at the end as well, I remember. Fuck you. Fuck you. Kids. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. It's time for questions from the public. Questions? From the public?

What do you get? to say that's how for now. It's not, stop seeing how for now. We're going to get sued. As always, if you don't, how to, how to, it's fantastic. As always, if we want to get in touch at shagmarynoid at gmail.com

to send a long form email or a story. I was speaking to a lady, a nurse, outside of the gig in Manchester. I'm sorry I had to cut you short. You start trying to tell the stories, but I had to go to DeSum with Carl. You've seen how he gets with the shum. You've seen it on my Instagram.

You said you were going to email them in. Please do email them in. said some of them were too dark for the pod. I said, look, Rosie loves stuff like that. How could it be too dark for this? Rosie loves stuff like that. Yeah. And if you want to send a voice note, which we absolutely love, 07874-40-60, 6-6-5-0.

Never too dark for me. Documentary recommendation, I've just finished watching the documentary, the woman who was never there. And I actually think I'd watched, I've seen... I saw, I read a synopsis of this. She'd pretended to be a survivor of 9-11. fucking people are nuts people are nuts she had a full thing didn't she did interviews

full stories and then people worked out actually wasn't even enough why it's just some people are so fucking desperate for attention and also it usually stems back to spoil a little rich kid right

it's usually very much spoiled little rich girl just fucking makes up shit crazy very interesting though um How could you sleep at night? Oh, I don't know. I don't know.

I mean, I'll watch it. I'll 100% watch it. It's really interesting. The mind's a powerful thing. Yeah. Mental health issues, mental illnesses. An upbringing has got a lot more helpful. You know, but that doesn't forgive what you're done, but at the same time, I think

when you're, when you're, like, we're 40 now. Yeah. 20 years ago and I've been like, but now I kind of go, oh, I do. You do kind, yeah, you do kind of get a bit of a thing. Yeah. Yeah, actually, well, it's like trolls. Yeah. Trolls online,

10 years ago, I'd be like, this fucking bitch. But now I'm kind of like, what? Susan, what's going on? Yeah, what's happening in the order. Like, are you okay? Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, I agree.

Right, listen. You get a bit more compassionate and a bit more of a sort of wider scope of things. Things aren't black and white anymore when you get a bit older. Oh, yeah. They're not black and white anymore. The only get and having kids and just like, like, it does change the way that you look at things. And the more life experiences you get, I think, as well. Yeah, but also, honestly.

Anyway, look, let's get some emails and judge. Come on. Yeah, can't wait. Hi, Rosie and Chris. Hope you well. Are you well? Yeah, I'm great. I mean, got a little bit of clear and throat going on.

I haven't done it once, good. I've been leaning away from the mic and doing it. Something going on. New name for the segment, and this is actually quite good. Okay, because we still haven't come up with one. Oh, this is the segment. Things that people have said that you've overheard that you now see it all the time as a catchphrase. Yes.

Yeah. Can I propose, overheard forever surred? Serred? He said. Overheard, forever surred. Oh, right, okay. No. No.

No. Over. There's something there. There's something there, but it needs workshopped. Yeah, they've M&M that. Like, you know when Eminem makes orange rhyme with stuff, but he changes the pronunciation of the word. Which is great, but overheard and forever surred.

No. Pronunciation. Oh, what is there? Irony. Oh, meta. Let's go deep. Inception. Oh, my God.

Spend a little thing. the fucking clever Oh, you're asleep Yeah, okay, overheard. Right, I'm gonna, right, okay, I'm still, because I remember we thought we'd come up with a really good one and we're like, yeah, there,

and then we forgot it, so it can't be that fucking good and we've forgotten it. So anyway, this section that we'd love, yeah, go. Mine is, me and my husband were at the cinema years ago, sitting next to an older couple. Okay. When the movie started, it came on

with a really loud noise, I guess, to get your attention. Right. And the lady leaned across to her husband and said, and that's why half the kids in Britain are deaf. It is now our go-to whenever there is need for an exaggeration. Completely made up, fucking statistic.

That's why half the kids in Britain are death. Half the kids in Britain are death. Wow, that's fantastic. Wow. Hey God, bloody they are. Our raf and he's gloowyer. Jesus Christ. I know, bless his little hard.

I know. That telly, if he has that telly, and you know the other day, I was like, Rave, can you turn the telly down? He's like, I can't hear it on 10, ma'am. And I was like, I'm going insane. I know. He plays it loud.

He's a little glueier. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. There's another one here as well. Okay. Hello, Chris and Rosie. Hope you doing well. My partner and I are both international school teachers here in Bangkok. I was sorry, just such a...

If you'd have stopped at international, school teachers wouldn't have been the first thing I went I don't know why. What would you have gone to? Spies was my first one. International spies and I thought, why would they be telling them with that? But just international men of mystery.

It was just, it was, yeah, I got so excited. I was like, oh, no, yeah, school teachers. Like, not that's not cool. That's fucking amazing. But yeah, just international school teachers. Okay, come on. Right, what I'm trying to say is win me back.

Okay, all right then. We actually have something me and my partner say that originated from one of the children. Okay. In Bangkok. When the student first transferred, at the school, he had a bit of a friction with another classmate.

The other child came to complain to my partner about some bizarre comments he was making, including a moment when he got annoyed and declared, if I was at my school in China, I'd punch him in the face. This is the bit that's funny though. Naturally, that became our go-to phrase. I was at my school in China.

Why is he not punched him here? Because he's all his mates are there. Who knows? I don't know. He's got back up. I don't know. He's not frightened over there. He's on his own. Whenever either of us face is even the slightest inconvenience,

our immediate reaction is, if I was at my school in China, I would punch them in their face. I'd just love... It's not even the thing that's funny, it's just the way that people integrate it into their life. That's my catchphrase I'm having it now. And I love it so much.

Yeah. If I was at my school, if I was at my school in China, I'd punch them in the face. I've had some brilliant ones of these, man. God, I love it. Abadu back. Hi, Rosie and Chris. Long time listener, first time emailer.

We are in the US, but my best friend is British. And over the years, she's got me hooked on your podcast and pretty much all things British. Oh, wonderful. Thank you to your friend. That's amazing. About 15 years ago, she worked at a botanical garden here that sent out a member survey. So it's in England, I'm guessing. Most of the feedback was what you'd expect.

More benches, better parking, etc., etc. But one member wrote in, can we please have a chance? child free day. Little bastards ruin everything. Okay. Yeah. We've been quoting it ever since, especially now that we have our own kids.

Imagine that. Aw. A child free day at the Botanical Garden. You turn up with your kids. Sorry, it's the child free day to day. Some people really hate kids, don't you? Yeah. I get it.

I was like, us were them old twats? Yeah, when we went to the, and a castle. That's really turned, hasn't it? Because when we first spoke about that in the summer, We were like, people of an elder. Now I'm like, old twat. They were horrible.

They stopped our kids from playing a proper game of the bloody lawn bean bags. Yeah, we had to play half a blown bean bags. Yeah, we had to play a collection of fucking Okraginarians wanted to play it. It's insane. Vile. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo.

Hello, Chris and Rosie. I have discovered a new ick within my relationship. And I would love to know your thoughts. Yes, always ready to judge it. Rosie, I think you might be on board with. this is I may have found a hobby even more icky than cuddle club which you haven't been to for a while

even my mum. Yeah so I haven't been new. You know what it is? I stopped I injured myself just before the summer holidays so I didn't do it for a bit and then in the summer holidays it was tough to get to go there because we had the kids and stuff and then on like

they were there every day and that off and then on any sunny day I was like well I'd go and do that or I've got to go and play golf because it's a sunny day. Yeah well why don't you just do golf in the summer? Well, now that I'm on tour again, this is the time of year when everyone gets colds and flus and stuff. So I don't, I don't want to turn up with gigs ill.

Oh, you did? I did last year. I turned up with gigs ill because I was doing jihitsu every single day. And also, I'm going to be honest with you, I'm feeling me age slightly. If I go and do an hour of fucking fighting, going and doing a show on a night is the last thing I want to do. I can barely pick the kids up from school.

Right, well, you finish, go back after Christmas. As soon as I finish the two, January I'm going to bang back in. Because it is good for you. I love it. I love it. It's so amazing. I want to get my purple belt.

I want to go, I want to get me, oh fuck now, I want to get my brown belt. I want it one day, hopefully, you know, I don't want to say it aloud, the final belt.

It's good for your anxious mind. And I think, I can tell when you've been and you're actually better. So I would say keep it up, but let's not. It's just not a practical thing to do when you've got a massive UK too

on that on that rise. No, absolutely not. You can break your leg. I got injured on the last, when I went on the last, I'm fucking hurt you. When you pretend to not be hurt. Yeah.

And months later, I tell you, because I'm just stoic. I'm just a guy. Just a, one of those guys, head down. Just get on with it. I very rarely moaned, you know. Wow. Recently, this is from the person sending this in,

I have re-entered the hell and horror of online dating. Oh. I know, which, as you can imagine, is full of walking, talking icks. Yep. One day I was scrolling through and matched with this guy. We started to chat and things were going well. He had good chat and a nice energy.

That's good. He invited me for a coffee and we exchanged social media. Social media, sorry, numbers, etc. So we could continue chatting and arrange a date. When I added this guy on Instagram, I noticed some pictures of him playing sport. Playing sport. Like a sport. I clicked on the post to have a closer look to see what this man plays.

Do you want to guess? Play. So pictures, right, okay, so pictures of him playing sport. so I'm guessing there's some kind of equipment involved or a racket. It can't be paddle ball. It can't be paddle, can it? Because everyone's absolutely bumming the fucking head off paddle at the minute.

It can't be paddle. Is it paddle? It's not paddle. It's not paddle. I was going to see it because paddle's quite cool. Is it? And this is a ridiculous guess. You're going to get it.

Don't even guess. Can I just tell you? No, I want to get it. I want to try and get it. Is it that weird one where it's like a squash court, but they've got their big, massive things on their arms and they throw the ball at like 200 mile an hour. Huh?

Oh, it's not that one. No, it might be. What is it? It's Saturday League Dodge Bowl. No, it's not, no. I can't remember what the thing was on that. If you're not seen it, they've got like the big hooked, like, wicker things on their hat,

and they go like fucking ruin the ball and actually kill you if it hits you. Not that. But you say you play Saturday League Dodgeball. Dodgeball. Fog. Grown man being pelted in the face by foam. balls and I'm guessing that put her off or him sorry I don't know what the sex um love it oh just again it just me I love it the maker so happy because one thing that someone is

it's so different to someone else and it can just it's no that's a relationship thing for me personally if I met someone that have to be lush to be like I play dodgebone I go all right well I can get on board with that because he's third in the league because he dropped out gorgeous but that's I feel like that's it. We've been together for six years. I'm going to start dodgeball. Yeah, yeah. I don't know what you mean? Yeah. We've got a kid together now. We've got a mortgage. We've got a mortgage and he's playing dodgeball. That's fucking great. Why's all this? You don't see any women doing dodgeball? Yeah, I know. I know. I don't think. I'm sorry you do. I don't think they do. I really don't. I don't think they do. No. Okay. What's an icky thing that I do?

This feels like a trap. Come on. You may have one. Everyone, everyone listening. I don't do it. I've got one. Run a mile. Gene S is a bit icky. There it is. I know it is. Bit iggy. Do you what I mean?

All right. Sorry, can we all just take a moment? I don't think women do icky stuff. What would I do? First thing I say, yeah, Ticky. Boom. Slam dunk. How, I'm sorry.

Dodd board the face. Grown adults on stage singing chitny, Chitley bang with coloured flags. You think that's icky, do you? Well, fair enough. I know, you're totally right. I mean, you could say, my dressing gowns are a bit icky. I love a dressing gowns. gown. What do you mean? I like, no, you're comfortable.

No, I know, but I like, cuddle. I like, took my socks in my jaw, isn't that? That could be construed as Iggy. Kind of, yeah, I know what you mean. But like, come on. No, I think I'm far too far into that. You know, you're just, you're like, it'd be comfy, I don't you do? I'd rather you had your dressing gown and your socks tucked in your dressing gown and all that stuff, nice and warm than have the fucking heating on full pelt and I'm sitting there and my underpants dying. At least you take it upon yourself to sort your own little...

It's coming soon. You're going to have to get on board. My mom has already commented about it being cold in the morning when she's getting downstairs. I've smashed the boiler up and you can't get to the boiler because you've got all that shit

from the two hours in the thing you can't get to it so you've got no chance. Hot water works but heating I fucking I've sabotaged it. You got no chance. No chance. I haven't, I'm joking,

but I'm considering it. We fall out every year over the heating you know guys. Every single year we fall out over the heating. Yeah. I might get you a little, I don't know, some kind of little heated backpack that you can just weigh.

It just keeps you hot. I might get you like some kind of Like a stab vest Like a bulletproof vest Where they put the bits of Kevlar in there I might just get your best vest front and back That you can just drop a hot water bottle You can't actually buy them

So Right well Okay well I don't have to get my sewing machine out then I'll just buy one Great There we go A little hot cape I've got like a little bag one

Yeah I'll get a little hot cap A little hot hat Yeah Yeah Oh I can't wait I can't wait I mean like your blanket

Can't wait Awful Babadoo, babadoo, babado, babadu, ba. Do do do do do do do. Thank you so much for listening and watching Chagmary Danoid. We have been Rosie Ramsey and Chris Ramsey. Fucking hell. Now, just no preparation, no thought.

Just, like, that sounded like this is some kind of school production. Like, we've got the cameras out. Fucking hell. Guys, thank you so much for listening to this. Do you want to do it again? No, no. got a stain because it's authentic. It's authentic bollocks.

If you want to get into a shagmarriedore at gmail.com, if you want a voice note, 07874-40-60-60-5-0. Rosie forgot to read them out today, happy days. But it's all good. She also kicked the camera. So yeah, happy days. Back in the years next week.

Bye. Bye, guys. Love you. So much. So much. Bye.