Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Return of the Plonkcast, feat. London Zoo, Legoland and the Goonies

Episode Date: August 7, 2026

This week's Shagged Married Annoyed is a Plonkcast special! Chris and Rosie are freshly back from a trip to London with the kids, and have plenty of holiday beefs (one particularly revolving around fish goujons). There are voice notes, icks and Rosie remembers the Goonies very differently... If you want to get involved and have your stories and voice notes included on the podcast, then get in touch!  📧: [e-mail] 📱: 07874 406650 You can watch the podcast on the Shagged Married Annoyed YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@shagged.married.annoyed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Coming up on this week's episode of Shag Marinoid, it's a Polonkast! If you don't know what that means, it means we've been drinking heavily throughout the show and we're recording this at the end, so this is going to be tedious for everyone to listen to. You're going to listen to this bit and then the bit where we'll start is very semi-sauber. Very different because of semi-sulae, yeah, but there it is. I've said semi-like, I'm American, it's disgusting. Oh my God. Oh my God.

We talk about our London trip. We talk about gladiators. Goonies. Goonies gets a very big mention. There's beefs. Rosie's got two this week. Yeah, it's been a hard week. And there's voice north.

and questions from you lovely lot. Thank you so much. Enjoy. The 2006 Chevrolet Equinox awarded the most dependable compact SUV in the U.S. by J.D. Power is designed for your everyday. And with available all-wheel drive, you can handle your to-do list with total confidence. Start your build at Chevrolet.ca.

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It's about being able to bounce back. OICOS Pro Feed your Strength. Visit oikos.Ca for more details. Hello, you are listening and possibly watching Shagmarginoid with me, Rosie Ramsey and my husband, Christopher Ramsey. Hello! Hi, hi, everyone. Hope you're all well. personally feeling very overwhelmed by the summer holidays

but that's fine. We've literally, as we record this, we've literally just got back from a trip to London with the boys. The big smoke. The big smoke. If you think London's stressful traveling around it when there's the two of you,

add two kids in. Whoa! I know, and the heat. Guys, my God is hot. My God, it's hot. Honestly, like, part of us doesn't want to moan because I think it's great and I'm kind of enjoying

and embracing the summer. Chris is on the beer by here, I'm on the beer. I was 40 the other day. I'm having a hawkstone. We'll talk about that later. We went to London Zoo, which is such a good place to go.

The kids loved it. It's fantastic. But Jesus Christ, it was so hot. Really hot. It was so hot. We were shades secars for the full day. I felt like a vampire.

I just walked from a bit of shade to a bit of shade. And when we got to a bit, it was like, oh, the kids are getting a drink and there wasn't any shade. I was like, I was like dreading it. And also, there was no animals because of all the animals. All the animals are, yeah, all the animals were like. Like, fuck this.

They were like, it's mid-day, you stupid, fuckass. Yeah. Why are you here? Why are you here? Why are you here? Why are we here at mid-day? It was nuts. 30 degrees?

It was nuts. What's wrong with it? You can remember at one point, you got a can of still water, and you said, do you want any poured down your back? And I took my cap off and I put my cap out. And you knew exactly what I wanted, and you just poured a load of water in my cap, and I just put my cap back on. Fah, that was the best moment of my day.

I know. I poured it down Rave's back. It's just, we don't do stuff like that up here. You would never pour water on you in the north. Everyone in London and in the south who's been dealing with this heat for the whole months now. Can we get me a little... Yeah, well, join.

We've gone to. Really well. We feel your pain. We've come back up here. It was 23 degrees up here and that's just enough for me. It's just nice. Just nice. Speaking of coming back, what was really funny.

And I haven't had a chance to talk to you about it because obviously we've came straight into the podcast. And I'm glad in a way. We were... We drove past our house and then we had to go to... the garage to pick up a parcel for you. And Sandra. Big, big love in post.

Big love in post. Incredible. It's been there for two days. Oh, I still go. When you send me a little QR code and I've got to go and I've just got to scan it in the door opens, it's like living in the future. It's incredible.

It's one part of technology that I'm really embracing. Yeah. Just because it's just a nightmare like when you're out, sorting deliveries coming and stuff like that. It is a pain in the ass. Yeah. But I'm not slacking off. Our delivery people are amazing.

Yeah, really good. Yeah. But also. They get a lot of shit when they don't deliver them as well. That's why they're always like trying to like, you know, leave it with a, leave it with a, blem and, you know, a neighbour or whatever. They get a load of, fuck, they've got real, like, deadlines. I don't mind taking parcels for neighbours.

I think it's fine. Yeah. Doing your bit, in it. Oh, 100%. But community spirit. So all that's left. Need a village. So we went past our house now.

Sandra, the legend, was coming to look after our children so we can come across and do this now. And we drove up the street, right? And she was. What are you going to say? I went, oh, oh, look, kids. And they went, oh, yeah. And me and you just looked at her and glared at her, because it was sunny.

She had her sunglasses on. She was walked along with a little backpack on her headphones in. She was obviously walked from her house. Just walking along. I know. Just having a walk. I know. And you looked at it and you went, oh, must be nice.

Rousie, I wanted to mount the curb. I was so jealous. I'll consider running her over. I was like, fucking look at her. We've been in London for three days with these couple of tossers. Like, can I have this? Can I have that? Can I sit down, stop down,

don't lick that handrail, blah, blah, blah, blah. She's just fucking strapped. Like, oh, God. I know, but what you've got to remember is my mom was me now. And I find it so upsetting because my, all I remember from my mom growing up was she was just sad all the time. She was just really fucking angry. Unless she was pissed.

Unless my mom was pissed, right? Then she was in a happy mood. Most of the time, and I love her so much and she knows I love her. And I am, I'm joking. But also, I guess. get it. Yeah.

I get it. And we were hard work. Our kids are hard work. Like kids are hard work, especially because we're good parents. We want, like, we want the best for them. You're not just, you're not just parenting in the moment. You're parenting for the future as well. So when you're telling them, you know, when you're seeing your manners and you do this and don't do that.

It's not just momentary fixes. It's long-term sort of foundations that you're putting. Yes, that's why. That's why it's so exhausting. I know because sometimes, sometimes I want to be really. neglectful. I do. I want to just neglect the fuck out of them. And then they'll stop wanting stuff because we are so accessible to our children. From the minute they open their eyes, they're just not scared. I think we've got to the crux of it. They're not scared of it. They're not scared of

they're not scared of where. They're not scared of a reaction. They know that we'll always love them. They know that they'll always have a conversation and a cuddle after. They're not scared. They need to be scared. We need to make them more scared as in like, oh, don't mom's in about. Don't. Don't. Don't ask her, she's in a bad mood. Oh, don't bother Dad. Don't bother him. Rave, we shouldn't bother them because, but no, no, no, no. Where do I, when can I go on?

Have you know, now, iPads and stuff, it's called stuff. Stuff, when can I go on me stuff? Yeah. Well, you've just opened your eyes. So how about you just have, like, an hour or two to just be while I'm sitting on my phone? Do as I say, not as I do. Motherfuck! It's so exhausted.

the other day when we were talking in your mom we're talking about, we're not having another one we're talking about if we accidentally had another one. Oh God, I was drunk the other night. Me and my mom, you weren't actually here. We fully planned another baby, me and my mom. We were like, yeah, I was like, I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it before you get the snip.

Honestly, I don't, no, I'm not. I'm not. I can't do it again. I can't do it again. When we were in a holiday, your mom was like, oh, yeah, I just loved it. I loved being around. And you turned, and you went, what?

You were fucking miserable all the time. She went, well, I love it as grandparents, because I just can give them back. She was miserable. She shouted out with constantly. She was sad. She was irritated. She was irritable.

She was going through the change, which is coming up for me. So it's just stupid. I just think, yeah. Counting the days. Seeing out of the day, she looks so happy. And I'm really happy for her.

And that's nice that she's happy, but it's because she hasn't got... Because she hasn't got little kids. Honestly, I want to get really close. I want to beat me horn. I want to beat me horn. As loud as I possibly caught. It went, oh, slag.

Spatada, I kept driving. It's so funny because I saw, another woman who looked a similar age to me, ma'am. Did you see I walk in at the village when we were coming through to come home? I don't look at any women when I'm driving. She was definitely in their 60s. What? You've been here just?

She was a very attractive woman. But she, I've got that vibe of hers, but I was already annoyed. You're annoyed at it? I was already, you know, because I'd seen her. And I thought, oh, right, aye, nice. Yeah, nice. Having a little walk, are you? Having it probably nowhere to be, have you not?

Got nothing to get back? No, don't feel guilty, do you know? Now you're just cracking on. Oh, probably. You know, she's probably out for a walk for? Yeah. She's bored. Yeah.

She's probably bored. Imagine getting the chance to be bored. I think that's it. As a parent, you don't get the chance to be bored. You don't get the chance to be bored. I haven't been bored for fucking years. I did glad you as the idea, which I'll talk about again soon later on. But there was, there was 25 year olds with us and they were talking about stuff to do.

And I was like, fucking, fucking hell, you've got so much time on your hands. I want to cry. I know. I want to fucking cry. But in their defense, you don't know. You don't know until it goes, your time goes and then that's that. People who had kids before I had kids and they used to whinge and I'd be like, oh, I don't know. Yeah.

Shut up. It's ridiculous in it. Oh, is it hard. Is it? Yeah, no, it is. It's horrible. It sucks. It sucks the life out of you.

We are sucked. We're depleted. Completely depleted. I remember when Jason Cook, Jason Cook had a daughter when I first met him and I was just young, open coming on the comedy scene. I used to ask him to do stuff. And he's like, I've got the ban. I've got the ban.

I was like, what the fuck's his fucking problem? Jim, I leave that kid. She fucking stick this. tell he on and leave her in the house and got now his his daughter's a teenager and he's like he's forgot and he's like you come out from pint and I'm like he's like I'm at the pub round here you're you come from pint I'm like I can't have got the kids and I can tell he's like pathetic and I'm like this is you this was fucking you I don't think I'll ever forget no I don't no I won't it's so we'll say it I guarantee everyone here everyone listening everyone

listening make a note that one day in some kind of in some kind of form of media, whether you're in an interview or you're doing a, you know, old wife interview for the guardian or something. And you'll say, I remember we went to London with my children and it was the most magical three days. And so I want someone who listens to this to go, I! Rosie!

Now! I mean, I've already got, I've come through the door. My mom came to look after the kids where I would do this. She was like, how was that? I was like, it was great. Fucking shit from start to finish. No, it wasn't. It was really nice part.

a Lego land. I'd never been at a Lego land. Genuinely, well, I just thought it was big bit of Lego. I just thought, what is this day going to be? I thought it was going to be crap. It was mint. It was like a full, full theme park. Massive, huge. We ordered a taxi to go back and were like to change at the time because I was like, well, yeah, too long. I didn't think there was that much to do.

I was meant to push the car back. Oh, it was mint. I really thoroughly enjoy that. But before further ado, it was time for this week's Luke to response. First of all, thank you so much for being here. Thank you for listening. Thank you for watching. And if you're watching, please subscribe on YouTube and all these little podcast shops. We really do appreciate it. It really does help. Thank you, thank you.

Thank you. I'm rushing it, but I'm hoping it doesn't sound as insincere as I feel like it sounds in my head. I need to let people know something. What is it? I'm only not drinking. I'm not pregnant. I'm only not drinking because I've had a bottle of wine

in the hotel bed every night and I'm a bit overwhelmed. Shall I get a glass of wine? Is there a wine downstairs? Get a glass of wine on the on the Babadubabs. Yeah, definitely. Very quick sponsor. Well, you just do it.

I'm going to go. You're going to go. Right, so I'll just stay here. You have to have it. You're kidding this. It's time for this week. You said wine? Shazil.

It's time for this week's lucrative, lucre sponsor. This week's sponsor is families who go to theme parks and days out with those massive fucking trolleys that they drag around everywhere with all their shit in. I think they're really good. I hate you. If you've got one of them, I fucking hate you. Why? Why have you got? Everyone put a backpack on and stop fucking clogging up the walkways and aisles.

No one's impressed. apart from Rosie I hate you I thought they were a bit interesting Oh they've got all kinds in the back of the man There's only one one It's not by the ma'am The mom's fucking dragging it

The kids are running off And the dad's fucking what What's going on Why have you got a trailer Why have you got a trailer With all your stuff in I think in the In the autumnal sort of months

Or winter and spring Good idea Because you need coats Jackets all that kind of stuff But the film were raining and shit Oh I don't know Yeah you didn't really need them did you It's unbelievable

I don't know what's going on. My bag got searched on the way and there's someone behind us with the fucking trailer. What's going on? But they might have like six kids. Oh God. Greedy.

Sick. I want to get a glass of mine. Yay! She's gone. She's walking off. She's gone. She's left. She's leaving the room.

Oh. Bye. I'm not having a BME. Oh, this is what it would be like if I had my own podcast and it was just me. So what have I been up? Oh God, I don't know how Carl Hutchinson does this.

It's horrible. Here's the jingle. Like the jingo do do do bado do babado do babado do bao jingo. Hello and welcome back to Plunkast, Shagranoid. Cheers. To new listeners and new viewers, it's been years since we've done a ploncast. We used to, mainly in the lockdown, let's be honest. It was in the lockdown when we couldn't get any childcare.

Yeah. So I had to wait until Robin went to bed and do them intoxicated just to get through the misery of lockdown. So it's been a while for this. Cheers. Cheers. Didn't think I was going to drink because we've drank every night. Last night,

I love having wine in bed, you know, and I think it's a slippery slope. But. See, you've always, you're, you like consuming stuff in bed. Oh, I'm sorry, why? Having to have my morning coffee in bed upsets us, I don't know,

I don't like to be up and sitting up. That blows my mind. It's weird in it. I know, I know, but I like to be. That's more, that's, you're weirder for that, I know. I know. I think I'm in the minority here, but breakfast and,

bed, I don't want, that's not how I want to start my day. Oh, by all means make me breakfast. I'll come down and have it, but I want to sit at a table at have. I'm not sitting in bed and having it. It just upsets us. It's been, it's lovely to do a ploncast. I'm already slightly jesuit, belligerent, and I've only had three quarters of a pint. But can you envisage any other job where, um, mommy and daddy have been away with the kids for three days, so we're going to go straight to work, but by the way, we're going to get pissed at work because it's been that tough. Imagine we, imagine we were tube drivers. I love it. It hasn't been tough, wouldn't either that's ridiculous?

It hasn't been tough. It's just, it's a lot. It's a lot. And it's a big city and it's very hot. And the kids on the whole were fantastic. And I had me 40th birthday in London. And thank you for the, you got us a lovely cards. It was magical and I loved it.

And we all lay in bed last night in the hotel room. We all watched the Goonies, which was fucking amazing. It's because you just expect, so we've got, like, I love them so much. And it's one more than the other. And I don't want to slag them off too much. But we've got a very intense child. and the other one is not as intense.

Yeah. And if I had two of just the non-intense one, we probably wouldn't. Rosie, even if you've got two, anyone can attest to this, even if you've got two non-intense ones, they'll still wind each other up. I know, and then the thing is,

you get back to your hotel room and you're absolutely shathing, and you think, do you know what? Everyone lets, it's like on a girl's holiday, everyone would get the books out and go, we're all a bit tired. Should we just read for a bit? No, no.

But that's what, and you have that in your mind, though, you have that in your mind, and then it doesn't happen. What are our children? did in London, which I did, I clocked it on the second day. What they did was, they got extremely lethargic and knackered while we were out and about, being out and about tough. And then when they got back to the hotel room,

they got an injection of energy like nothing I've ever seen in my life. Even though I took them fucking swimming at the hotel as well. First night, they wrecked that room like the fucking rolling stones. I know. I've never seen anything like it. They fucking trashed an entire hotel room. No long-lasting damage and stuff. They didn't break any, just, they didn't break any glasses or tennies or anything,

but... They made a mess. It was unbelievable. Unbelievable. But I just let them because I was like, I just want to sit down for five minutes. I can't be bothered.

Yeah, when we're London Zoo. And you went over and got the kids, I think you got them a hot dog or whatever it was. And I went and stood in the shade, just next to the Mia Cats, if anyone knows the zoo, just to chill. Well, Raph was going to eat his hot dog

next to the lion bit, and I was like, mate, let's not. Yeah, yeah. Because we'd watch Jurassic World the night before. Oh, mate, I nearly didn't go. At one point, it was so... I nearly didn't, I nearly didn't. Halfway three watching Jurassic World in the hotel room,

I was like, fuck, we're at the zoo tomorrow. And do you know what happened last time that I was in London and I was working and my mom went to the zoo with Robin? Raph wasn't born. Do you know what happened the day after? Mm-hmm. I told you the day after they went to the zoo. The fucking gorilla got out.

The gorilla got out. The gorilla got out. The gorilla got out. It was all over the news. The day after they'd been, the gorilla got out. And actually, I'm sure I said, I'm never going back there. and then we watched Jurassic World and the next day were they in, I was shitting

my pants all day. And we've seen a hot dog at the line and closure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, please let's come away. So, but I had plans in place and everything. I had a dream that the animals got out, the lions got out and we all ended up in a toilet cubicle and for some reason, why is this always, I had another kid. So this was my dream.

We were all in a toilet cubicle, me, you, Robin and Rath and some random kid. And what happened was, a psychiatrist would have a field day with this, I don't know what it means. I've got a plan already. Okay. I had another kid,

another little kid that I had to look after and put my hand over the mouth and be like, shut up. But then Rave was like, Mom, mom, no me,

because he gets really jealous. And I was like, there's a lying on those. Can we all not? Okay. So yeah. Okay. Here's my plan.

All right. We're in there. Me, you Rief, random kid. Right. Dortman, random kid.

Out your go. No, you wouldn't. True way. Don't know that kid. Get out. No, not my problem. No,

it wouldn't. It was 36 degrees or whatever it was walking around the zoo Me, you and then three In a toilet cubicle Honestly, I'd leave I'd get more by the line That would be your time wouldn't it?

This is my time to shine Well, that's fine I'd go out and get killed And then while you were getting eight live I would run away with them kids And we'd start a new family in the country It would start a new life There it is.

Listen, let me tell you about this kid right So I went over and the kid would never love us fully Because he'd probably be like Like you know Where did the kid come from? I don't know. Why was there another kid there? It's weird.

What the fuck? What does that even mean? I don't know. Again, just a random shout out. If anyone who hasn't seen the Sopranos or anyone who has seen the Sopranos, the Sopranos does the best dream sequence. They nailed what it's like. You're watching the Sopranos when he's having a nightmare.

It's exactly how a nightmare works. I don't know how they did it. It's incredible. Listen, anyway, I'm standing next to the Miacats, right? I've got the bags and stuff. and uh oh we bought sorry yeah no I was I was sorry to know for going to right so yeah

I know this is one of their moments I didn't know if we were going to omit this bit of information but we did we got one of the rental buggies because rave would have been such a pain in the odds I had a mummy shoulder as the whole day at lego land I thought I'm not doing that again so I'm starting with this buggy over in the corner but he used it so much to the point where I was like rave your legs still work

it's only for when you absolutely just he just lives there to the point where We were at like the enclosureotist He's like Mama con wheel is this way I was like Get out He was like

He was like He was right I was like You know what he was like You know what he was like You know the final series of Game of Thrones Where Hordaws

Dragon Brand on the fucking door Absolutely ridiculous He's like going I want to say I had to wheel him on the way He goes oh yeah's a lizard Can you see the lizard I'll go to the next day

I was like you're just a bit tired you're lazy little it was fucking hilarious and did you realize I brought it out so my mom to the point where they were like

they just wanted stuff all the time and I was like well raf's already had 25 pounds for that thing so I like added that on a rave she kept bringing up her money that he had spent she kept bringing up how much

the deposit was for the pram I was like you've spitting it was it was a fucking I can't get anything from the gift shop because I've had I've had a fucking pram

sat down on the asshole day plus my my hourly rate for pushing it around as well oh then he didn't want you to push him I mean which I loved yeah but anyway

it's not even worth this anymore right but basically just how much like you see your kids being dicks and then you see how much other kids are dicks and you feel better about it but you feel better about it with me a cat so i've got the little thing you're over with our kids

and a woman was standing with a kid and the kid was on a he was on a scooter and she went come on let's go and sit the mea cat and he went it doesn't doesn't help that i've got a northern chip on my shoulder and he had that annoying accent that when when i like it's because it's not where i'm from so it cuts through is even more as i imagine when a southerner he has our jordy kids kicking off they hate that as well like ma no they probably think oh god it's gone but i'm saying And then he went, I don't, this kid, she went, she went, we're going to the, we're going to see the meerkats. And he went, I don't want to, mommy. And she went, ugh.

And she'd just give it that, like, fuck you. And walk with the mea cat. And I was like, you fucking legend. Well done, love. And he stood like in the middle of the thing on his scooted and he looked around and he realized he was getting nothing from her. He scooted after her towards the meerkats and went, I don't want to, mommy. Back at, and by the time, he was standing at her, fucking at the meerkats with her, shouting at her that he didn't want to see the meerkats

and I want to turn around and go you're fucking here now you little tosser but obviously I didn't You're at the meerkats you brick I was so irate But I thought you know what They're all he's just winding her up As much as they're winding us up

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Wayfair, every style, every home. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. You let myself down with the ice creams. What did you mean? Oh, this was tragic. God. That was not. I must have had some sort of personality. I've never seen anything like that. Disorder. Go on, tell everyone.

So it was 30 odd degrees. And the day before at Lego Land would got these Calipos, didn't we? And for five minutes, we're all were really cool. And to the point where Robin and Rafe were like, Mom, that was such a good idea. And I was like, sometimes just near nice.

I went to bed and I dreamt about an orange clip. It was sensational. Unbelievable. So cold, right. I even turned around to check if it was like, because that freezer that he had it in, I wanted to see, it was just plugged in it would plug and extension need.

But you know when you're like, how is it so cold anyway? Do you think it was a portal to the North Pole? I didn't, man. It was just so good. So when we're at the zoo, I was like, guys, let's go get an ice lolly.

I said ice lolly, but they both chose ice creams. They didn't look properly. They were just, I don't... When I saw Rave sit down in his little rental pram with a full cornetto, I thought something's gone wrong, yeah, like,

Bro's got an original cornetto here. Not even a strawberry one. No, there's hell on you. Robin got a white magnum. Awful. He didn't look, they didn't look properly... It's like having a slice of it. a fucking birthday cake.

It was the own fault because I should have, what I normally would have done was, have you looked at everything? Do you know they've got this? Like, you've got a spoon feed them, right? Do you know what I mean? They're not, they can't make their own decisions.

Which ironically, you can't do with a nice lollywood. You can't. Anyway, me and you got like a Calipo, but it wasn't, it was a fruit chute one or whatever, Robinsons. Yeah. Big up Robinsons. Love you.

They both then decided that they didn't want their ice creams. And not on a normal day, I'd have said, well, tough. I mean I did. Robin said I don't want this anymore Dad can I swap with you? And I went absolutely not. Well I know you didn't swap but I swap I swapped but I swapped. I was like I do not want this white chocolate and you were eating a white chocolate. I was just ice cream in the really in the big in the heat is not actually nice.

So there's a certain for me there's a certain level of heat that ice cream is okay to and it's only about 26 degrees. Yeah it wasn't enjoying getting out of face. I was good it anyway. So I was like right but then Raph was devastated that he and he wanted the, they didn't realize that they had ice lollies.

Yeah. So, do you know what it is? I literally was like, pick me battles. It cost us $5.80 extra. Jesus Christ. But I was like,

you know what, I can afford $5.80 as much as it pains us. Any other, you know me though, any other time I'd have battled then I'd have been like, well, you've picked it

so I don't give a shit. Yeah. But it was too hot. And I just went, right what does want? And they just got two more new ones. And but. in their defense

they both were like, thanks ma'am, thank you so much and I was like, he's so stupid you're both, so stupid you couldn't even look at the fucking board properly but anyway, whatever so it was sorted and sometimes money just fixes stuff

we're back now and it's okay, cheers yeah, I know, God. 580 to not be demented for the day it's absolutely fine. So I have got a little update for you that you're not going to like at all do I not know this? No, you don't know this and I wrote this down

I forgot it happened at the time when I was glad to do it. No, no, It was fine. I just, I thought, I forgot it happened at the time when I was on gladiators and then I told me, me, me took the kids to the soft play on the day after gladiators. And I was like, oh my God, I have to tell Rosie this. She's going to be devastated. First of all, gladiators was really good fun.

Thank you to everyone who was in the arena. It's going to be on TV, I think, in the Christmas period. I can't see anything about what happened. But there's a bit of drama, I'll be honest with me. Oh, yeah. Okay. I had a bit of a narrative. Had a journey.

You had a journey. Had a strictly style journey. It's lovely. Very funny. we didn't go by the way and very funny that everyone kept asking where I was

so right you work in tele we both work in tele so everyone obviously all of the floor staff all of the people that producers they all know you

they've all worked with you they're all fond of you right um the amount of like that would go see even like Stu

stew holding who does the warm up just one more for strictly it's an hour warm up for our TV show and he's like where's Rosie and the kids and I went

they're not here and you go oh no this is exactly what I said he went oh never why I went, why? I went, the first day you did this warm-up, you did our show on the night, and you said it was the longest day of your fucking life.

I went, they were never going to sit there for eight hours in a studio. And he went, oh, yeah, fair enough. Every single, that was the reaction with everyone. I went, she works in telly. She's not going to sit in an arena for eight hours with our two kids. These days, I don't know how people do it. And they go, oh, yeah, fair enough. But anyway, my mate, Neil Granger, who played Javis in Hebbin.

Oh, yeah. With his family and his kids' friends' family that made Banas. It was amazing. Did they enjoy it? They loved it. But how long was the day? Was it like nine hours? Yeah, I'm talking like 11 in the morning.

No, 11 in the morning or nine at night. It's a 10 hour day. It's crazy. Anyway, thank you to everyone. It was magical. There's this thing, right? It happened when I was on Strip, and it happened for that one day of gladiators.

Meeting fans is always amazing. Meeting anyone who likes what I do, anyone, if there's podcast, if it's stand up or whatever, it's never not humbling and it's always phenomenal. But sometimes adults, not all adults, but sometimes they don't want to get ahead of themselves.

They don't want to give it too much. They'll be like, I'm a fan of you. You know, I like what you do. They'll say things now and then they'll say things like, you are quite good tonight. And, you know, oh, my wife thinks you're funny. And there's little, not everyone, but there's little, you know, people try and be a bit too cool for school.

When you are doing a thing that kids are impressed by, it's unfiltered, fucking top level buzzing the whole way. And it's happened when I did straight. and Gladius, you're literally walking off the thing. They've got the foam fingers and they're like, Chris! And I'm like, hi, yeah, they're like, yeah. Like, it's so, it's almost magic. Like, as a father, it's such a nice thing.

Anyway, so we're sitting there ready to go in, right? And there goes, oh, Brad and Barnes, the Walsh, the Walshers, who host it. Oh, of course. They're going to come and see you beforehand. And they came to see where. And I said to everyone else, I said, look, all of me in. She's being Barnes. Bonnie.

Oh. Barnes. When you're close, personal friend, you call him Barnes. Barnes. We're sitting there, right?

So me, E.J., George and Sarah Pascal were all sitting there waiting a go. And I said, look, I said, who's done the chase? And I think Sarah had

had or not. I said, when you do the chase, Bradley comes in beforehand and he gives you a pep talk and he weirdly like shits you up about a quiz. I was like, you shits you up about a quiz?

I was like, listen, these guys. These guys, they're the top fucking quizzes in the world. old, right? And they're not going to take it fucking easy. They're going to take you down. They're going to take you down at Charan and you're like, and you like, put the shits up as I was like, what the fuck's you going to say about the gladiators?

I was like, what's you going to say? This is going to be a million times worse because these people are physically imposing and it's quite physical and scary what we're doing. And did he? You're not going to, you're not going to believe what he did. They came in and he didn't say much. And they were all talking. He was just chatting. He was like making notes. We're talking about what we're going to say beforehand. And then someone said, it was either Barney or one of the producers went, oh, you know,

it's the celebrity version, you know, so the gladiators, they'll tone it down a bit, they'll be a bit gentler with you, and he said me catchphrase. What did he say? He went, well they for. Did he actually? And then he fucking died.

And then he fucking died. How does he know about that? He literally, he went, will they fall? Everyone was pissing ourselves. And he was just like, they're going to fucking moll you. They're going to talk.

Honestly, mate, I don't want to say too much yet, but at times, at times the gladiators, some of the, all I'm going to say is on some of the events, it was like we owed them money. Really? Fuck in it. So they didn't go easy on you. I can't imagine if they're easy to go easy on.

So they're professional athletes. So I think they go to the level of your, you know what I mean? If you're all going in and you're tapping them and slap them. But if you're going in with a bit of vigor, they're like, they'll match it and then they'll better it. Any spotty arses? No, not one spotty arse in the entire thing.

What the fuck? What are they putting on them arces? I don't know what's going on. I'm sorry. Rosie, at one point, I'll tell you we did duel. Jewel is one of the things we did. I climb up on the podium and I stood on that podium, raised up in front of everyone with like our shorts on.

I have never been more self-conscious in my entire life. Yeah, okay, obviously. I tell you what. I know. Unbelievable. Well, the guy who was against, he came up. He had his front wedge on. He was picking his front wedge out, perfectly tanned thighs and that.

I'm looking at him thinking, okay, that'll meet. Jesus. Was Matt there who, Matt, no, what's his name? What is gladiated her name? Who I did? Legend. Is that his glad he had a name? I don't know. I think so.

It's called Matt, isn't he? Don't know the real names. Was he there? Only know the glad names. We call them, in the biz we'll call them the Glads. That's horrible. Me and Barnes, we're talking to the Glads. Bonds and Glads.

Jesus fucking Christ. I'm glad I didn't go. I need another pint. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. It's time for what's your beef. What's your beef. What's your beef. What's a beef.

Now listen, I can't imagine you having anything negative or any of the sort to say about me because I am when we're in stressful, possibly hot,

high, high octane situations with the children I am, I'm calm and I'm positive and I'm a goddamn delight to be around

so I can't even mad honestly guys I apologise no beef this week absolute waste of time you're not none of them

things that you just said no and I know I'm not I wrote down so many beef Really? You're just, you're a little, puppy little dog. You get overwhelmed very easily. I do. But I think the one that upset is the most, genuinely.

Is it slightly funny at least? I think so. Okay, let's see. We'll see how he feels when he's older. But you complained about it being hot so much. Yeah. But what really was upsetting, and I think you might have permanent damage, right.

You wouldn't let Rave touch you. Right. You wouldn't, either of the kids, you wouldn't let either of the children touch you. At all. We were. Because you are too hot. And I just thought, how can you be too hot that you can't?

Like, you are, no, you need a diagnosis. 100%. Oh, and I don't mean that horribly. No, no. And I'm not, again, I say it in my pot. Passed by when we were kids. I say it on my stand-up show. I don't want to give too much away from my stand-up show, yeah,

but I've done the test online and it said, go to the fucking doctor. Yeah. Right, first of all, those children. No, you would not let the children. touch. They've got hot hands. He wanted to touch your leg

and were like, you were like, you were like, I can't be, I can't be touched right now. They got hot hands. He's got hot hands. He had,

right, he had, he had, we were in it. First of all, first of all, taxis who don't put their acon on when it's hot for some ridiculous way

of saving fuel and trying to maximise. He was driving 58 mile an hour I wanted to die. He was driving extremely slowly. He was conserving, what's it? Yeah, so 58 mile an hour

is the most optimum fuel consumption. So he was driving like a fucking, old granddad. Oh, we're nearly there yet? It was really irritating. And he wouldn't have his aircon on.

When they don't have the aircon on, I'm like, right, well, you're only given half a service here. It's 30 fucking degrees, I'll put your aircon on. Secondly, them kids got hot hands. Them kids got hot fucking hands, right? Two hot hands? Your brain wanted to touch you. Look, touch me shoulder. Okay, well, one day, he's not going to want him. Touch my shoulder.

Shake me hand. Let's have an high five. Don't put, don't put your hot, hot arms and body on me thighs. You were horrible to him. Too hard. And he, in years to come, he's, he's, going to be talking to be his therapist going, and there was this one day

at Lego Land and my dad he'll be paying for that. The dad didn't want us to touch him. Me. Yeah. Listen, speak to taxis, right? I don't know if you can have a beef with me. So my beef with you is it's something you've been doing for a little while now. I've noticed it getting worse. Again, I put it down

to your... So it wasn't when we were away? No, no, God, no, I'm not that stupid. You're kidding. I'm not thin, nice here as it is. Listen, I think you, I need therapy and I do therapy for numerous reasons. You need therapy or you need to just stop listening to True Crime Podcasts. Why? What's happened?

Every single... Was it the lion? Every single taxi we are in, you claim they are going the wrong way just to rob. That all. I won't have it any other way. Absolutely fucking sick with it. The here we're accent. Have you not noticed in taxis in London?

I go, oh, I heard this is where. I'm like, don't think that I don't fucking know where I am because I do. She basically gets in the taxi and goes, hello, I'm Rosie. I work here regularly. I know the roots. Don't take the piss, young man.

It's unbelievable. We were driving. I'm sorry, but if they think that, it's, come on. We went, so we were, a couple of months ago, we were in central and we were going west and the, the, fucking, the flyover from basically Marlebone, from like one Marlebone, the flyover, Houston Road thing, Marlabon Road, Houston Road, flyover. that goes over to Westfield was shut.

It was shut. And he went, oh, just that you know, it's closed. It's going to have to go a different way. Rosalien's in and he goes, pay, it's not closed. No, I text you. Oh, yeah, sorry. It's even worse.

You're texters. And I get a text and it's like, it's not closed. He's just doing this to Rob. And we went, and didn't we? We went under it and I looked up and there was not one bit of traffic on the flyover. And it was closed.

And I went, look, it is closed. And you're like, well, maybe. And literally like, all right, have you ever seen bones? What's that? When he captures them all in his taxis Then they try to get out And the lock comes up

And it's just a spiky thing And it hurts their fingers No, what the fuck is that? If you see bones, then you know Bonesel? Densel Washington What is it, Denzel Washington? Are you thinking about the Born collector?

Yes. I think that is Denzel Washington. Yeah, that's the one that I mean He gets them in taxis. Cabs, black cabs, New York. Yellow Cubs? Yeah, same thing. Great.

I don't trust, I don't trust anybody. Guys, it's, you're not meant to. Like, why is it brought with this way? Everywhere,

like every, like, like I basically need to go and take the knowledge and pass the knowledge just so I can sort of fight off the fact that you think on every single tax friend I was trying to rob her. In the name of the father. Guys,

that was for the people listening, that was our ice cubes in our wine because she's now an ice cube and a wine guy. Do you know why? I put ice cubes in a wine now. Why? Because I've realised that I don't like drinking water

on a night out but if you put ice cubes in a wine you are actually getting a drink. You're drinking a bit of water? Just as nice. Well, there we'll go. Thank you. Congrats.

Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. Stop the press, guys. I just pressed stop as Rosie was quaffing our wine there and she's just claimed she's got another beef. It's just from the weekend. Okay, let's do it.

A weekend away, can I tell you? Yeah, 100%. My 40th, me 40th week in away. Yeah, you're a 40th weekend away which you ruined because you can't be hot and can't be touched by anyone. Also, you can't go at the toilet with your bag on. And I was so angry.

I was so angry. And do you remember what happened? You couldn't go to the toilet with your bag on, so I had your bag. And then while you were out of the toilet, I went, I need the toilet. Because I was also on my period, by the way, bleeding out my front vagina

all fucking day in the 35 degree heat. And guess what I did? While you were at the toilet, I went the toilet with your bag on. But you could not possibly. have on your back whilst you had a bit. What the fuck is wrong with you? What is wrong with you?

It's counterbalance, I fall over. So when I'm standing having a wee, right? No, you're ill. No, if I'm standing having a wee and the wee comes out of me bladder, your bladder's at the front, so the weight goes out of you. Stop me.

Why can't you go to the toilet with your bag on? I fall over like a towel. I don't know. I just, I was just hot and bothered and I didn't want a bag on us. Like, you admitted that bags make you hot. You admitted that.

Oh my god, you know what it is. I'm starting to understand why these fucking families take the trailer with them. Exactly. That bag made you hot. It's like someone cuddling you? I said, do you want, this is the other thing about you? This is what, okay, write this down for therapy.

This is what you need to talk them about, right? Do you know what we should do? Can I just tell you so you don't forget? No, I want to just tell you. This is what we should do, right? You and my therapist should just chat to each other and then I should just be told what I need to do. I don't think that's how it works.

You can't, like, so, I would have took turns with you all day to have that bag because I had it on for a bit and I was like, oh God, I went and it does make you really hot because it's like... And then I had two hands on the head on my thigh as well. Great, but I said to you, I'll have the bag for a bit and you were like, no, no, I'm fine.

Right. No, no, I'm fine. I'm stoic. Okay, then do you know what it is? I'm not going to argue with you because if you're not willing, whereas if it was me, I'd went, oh yeah, let's take turns with this bag. Right. So I've got no sympathy for you.

Okay. Tell them that, see what they say. Right. Good. It's nice, isn't it? I've literally just wrote, I haven't even put any, I've just put,

you can't go to the toilet with a bag. Oh God. Oh, Legoland, you complain so much about the weather. You couldn't let the, you wouldn't let the kids touch it. You're ill. So you've written, you're ill.

You're ill. You're ill? No, yeah, I believe that you've written you're ill. I believe that you've written you're ill. I do believe it. God, fucking grief. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babo. Visit BetMGM Casino and check out the newest exclusive.

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Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. Can we just say as well? Shout out. We were in Balthazar, the restaurant at Covent Garden yesterday. Really good kids menu. Brilliant. Yeah. Incredible.

Well, I think they've had to adapt because it's right next to us. So the theatre along the road, which might be the Lyceum. It's where Minnsmeet was, yeah. No. No, that's around the corner. But the big one, it's... Sorry, well, shoot me with shit. Well, no, they've had loads of kids.

Frozen was there for years. Hercules's there at the minute. I think they get lots of the kids shows. My beef with Chris next week, he mixed up across the road and round the corner. Ech, you ill. Right. No. So, yeah, beautiful restaurant.

Really, really nice. And yeah, really, caterers really well for kids. and it does colouring in and that when they get there. So there's a table next to her and it had a 15-year-old lad and his mom and dad from what I could gather. And the mom came over. Oh, yeah.

She was like, like right towards, like, we're never bothered by people bothering more at all. It's not a problem. But she waited right till the end of the meal and she came over and she said, my son's a huge fan and we were like, 15-year-old. And she was like, yeah, yeah.

So shout out, bro, if you're listening. What a lovely lad. It was so canny. But we realized that because they were so polite and they waited till the end of the meal, they basically heard every fucking argument. And the kids, they heard of the kids.

No wonder, he was buzzing. He probably thought he's listening to we're fucking live. What's your beef section? And do you want to tell everyone what the main argument was about with that table, which tells you that we are quite pathetic and petty? So we decided to watch Goonies on the night.

No, you're not going to talk about the Gujons? The Gujons, the fish gujons. Okay, come on then. So I didn't want to bring this up, because this was pretty big. This was a massive argument that I had. I didn't want to bring this up, but come on. But it's so, it's ridiculous.

No, so. Robin ordered cheeseburger. Instead, they randomly brought him fish gujons. So, and they went, oh, look, you can keep them,

we'll get his cheeseburger sorted, which was very sound of them. So there was just a big, fucking plate of fish guzons in the middle of the table. Which I started eating because I thought, oh, free fish gujons,

lovely. And because I'd order a pasta and a salad, and I was like, oh, brilliant, a little bit of meat, bit of fish gujons. Very much, loving it, enjoying it.

Chris thought there's too many things on the table. So he got the weight there. No, no, once he brought the cheeseburger and the chips. Yeah, you just said, can you please take that away? Because there's too much on the table and we don't want it. And the guy took it straight away and I was like, I was actually, I was actually eating them. Yeah. Yeah.

To which you said, well, why didn't you tell the guy? And I was like, well, it just all happened so fast. He didn't happen so fast. Who did not happen that fast? It did. It did. It did. No, I'm sorry.

fucking kung food films are. Oh no, what I'm meant to do? Literally, no, I'm enjoying them free fish, fusions. 100%, right? So this is what happened, right? So yeah. Stop, no, what you should have done, I'm sorry, well, what would have been nice

is for you to go, oh, are you, are you eating them still? Like, are you eating them? 100%, I should have said, no, no, you literally, you were like, get everything off the table. I'm too well, don't touch us, I'm too hot. Get rid of the fish cushions.

I need a room on the table because I had a large brass goblet for my caviar. that was ridiculous that's not even a joke guys I order caviar because I just did right and it comes

it comes because he's really eating out his 40th and he's like I never get it was ridiculous it comes

it comes in what I can imagine it's like imagine if you win the Sunday league seven aside Sunday league

and you win like a big like a big gold plate it was so ridiculous fucking huge like unbelievable right

so imagine Sunday league you've won the Sunday league what would there people have thought They'll be able to listen the podcast. There he is, eating his caviar. He's goblet of caviar.

It was massive. So imagine, again, a plate that you've won the Sunday league, and it's on like, it's on like, it's on the Holy Grail, basically. It was on like a fucking chalice, and it's, it's got all this stuff. So I had that. And then, yeah, all the stuff was on. And then he brought the, it was a small table and it was getting full. And I said, oh, make, you take them away, please.

And you, like, sort of just sat and looked and waited. So let's it right. So I said, yeah, make, can you take them? One, two. No problem, sir. Three, four. We're talking five seconds before he's out of the way, right? It wasn't like, can you tear there?

Right? It was like... Can you already... No, but you're already changing the story because you went... I can't even speak. In fact, he actually said... He actually said, oh, Yeshua,

which means you had so many opportunities. This is my point, right? You had so many opportunities to say, no, I'm eating them, but what you would prefer to do and what a lot of people out there, and I'm not genderizing this, it might be men, might be women,

a lot of you out there who love a fucking row, right? In your relationship I go, can you take them away mate? And she sits and goes

well I was eating them and I'm going to stay quiet because do I want to do I want to piss and fucking moan about what afterwards I can't be asked I'm not quick enough

to say no I want to keep them there but I love a fucking 15 minute row about it afterwards that'll be my dessert no you've already you've already changed the story to try to help your narrative because you definitely did not say

mate could you take them away in that voice I know it's a lot more Oh, no, it was, could you see the fish goons away? So internally, I'm mortified. For some realism, for some realism, it was somewhere in between both of those impressions. Let's be honest here.

It was some way in between. No, but can you say the fish? Is everything okay? No, no, can you see them fish? Goons away. Which my wife's eaten. I didn't know you were fucking eating them. I didn't know what you were eating them.

You were too busy, nuzzling your fucking... I was busy with me, caviar. Can we all just take a moment? here the white straight man was busy eating his cavioc and I have some sylady but you do this a lot you do this a lot you get things removed and you get like you kind of bear it and it's it's a lot you are very you are you are you were here yeah okay you were up a height and sadly and also I didn't want to be the fact really bitch who had a pasta and a salad there it is there it is there it is thank you there it is you had ample time to say no i'm eating them but you didn't want to

what the free what the freebies the free fish gujons which weren't meant to be there i apologize you know what i wholeheartedly apologize see i often think my brain works really quickly but yours works really quicker on stuff like that so it's like yeah literally like yeah i don't want to say it because then i'm like the greedy pig once you get i apologize i i wholeheartedly apologize um but again you had so much time it's not like you fucking teleported of them off the table. Fair enough. You're acting like he fucking had Dr. Strange's sling ring

and he just went and just fucking teleported them out of the place. He had a really quietest man in the world. I swear down, guys, if you ever had a waiter who's just the quietest man in the world, it was painful. Is everything okay with you?

What? Is everything okay with you? Sorry? The band's got gluey out. Oh God. I'm sweating. I'm, I would say I'm probably pissed now. Would you get another glass of wine?

Yes. Oh, would. Would you put some ice in it? Oh, sorry, by the way, the main thing we argued about. We're going to watch the goonies that night, and Rosie had it in her head. That sloth was called Schleff.

And we argued for fucking ages about it. I refused to Google it because it was so blatant. You thought, you thought, you thought Sloth. But this, rape went, oh this Schleff? I went, yeah. Yeah, when I watched it, he said there's Schleff. That was upset. Yes, we let Rief watch a 12.

Like, I'm not happy about it. I'm not proud about it, but when you've got an age gap, sometimes, and you want to watch a film altogether in bed on holiday. And when Chunk was in the freezer with the dead body, would cover his eyes. And you can see that dead body laughing as well, so it's actually quite funny because that guy who played that dead body is pissing himself laughing.

Yeah, Schleff, I said he's called Sloth. And Ruzi, you said, are you sure he's not called Schleff? And I said, what? I was sure he's called Schleff. Like what? what someone who's drunk trying to type the word shelf into their phone would accidentally type. Well, in my defence, I think all of my family, Kate and Kevin, will also think he's called Shlef. Get the phone out. Get the phone out now.

Bring Kate immediately. Don't feed her with Schleff, say. Hello. Hello, it's me. Just really quickly, Kate, we're doing the podcast. Oh, yeah? Do you know in the Goonies, the guy who's, the brother who's in the chair tied up? What's he called?

Josh Bruling. No, no, no. Hi, Kate. Chris, it's Chris here. Oh, hi Chris. You know the one who wears the Superman T-shirt, who saves the day, he's got a lot of prosthetics, one eyes up, one eyes down,

he has flat, what's his name? Sloth. There it is. Thank you very much. Thanks, Kate. Rosie thought he was called Schleff. What? Rosie, how many times have we watched that film, Matt?

I know. Who did you say first? Seth Brogan? Josh Brolin, man. Josh Brogan is... Danos. Yeah, okay. No worries.

I thought we all thought he's called Schleff. No, no, just you. No, it's sloth. It's always been slough. Kate, we had a 20 minute argue about it in a restaurant yesterday. Unbelievable. Among other things, Kate. We had a fight because Chris couldn't, we've got some free fish goutons, right?

Because the order was wrong. I was eating them, but Chris couldn't bear how much stuff was on the table, so he sent them away without asking us. Oh, I mean, I'd send away free stuff. Thank you. That's exactly what I said. You got overwhelmed. You couldn't let the kids touch.

I'll tell you all about it. Great. Oh, no. Chris, thought yourself out. Thanks, Keith. Love you. I think Kev's called him Schleff. I'll do and try one more time.

No chance. No one in the history of the world has called him Schleff. It is the most iconic name. His name is sloth. Why is he sound like it's a broad? Hi, Kev, really quickly. We're just doing the podcast, right?

Question. Do you know the goonies? You're the goonies. All right, Kev. You know, listen. No, no. You know the person who shouts, hey, you guys.

what's his name? Sloth. Yeah, man, do the chuffle, the chuffle shuffle. Kev, your sister thought he was called

Schleff? Schleff? Oh, he's not... It rules he knows better. I thought it was a cute little name would give him. Doesn't matter. I got it wrong.

There's so much you could do about that the goonies, man. The best part's when the little kind down the well and he's like, yo man, it's fucking sucks.

in the improvement, right? And he goes, oh, what did you go in, go ahead,

going, go ahead, and then the guy gets shut up on the toilet of the yard. Was that the 80s or the 90s?

Oh, it's brilliant. The kids loved it. When he flew up on that toilet, the kids loved it.

It was amazing. The tiles being off in that one's weird. Right, I'll speak to you later. Bye, you are two kids,

try. Bye. He just started shouting at someone. Oh, he's like the Goonies biggest fan, Michael. Oh, great. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, ba. It's time for questions from the public. Questions from the public?

Publi, blah, blah, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, public. As always. As always, as always, if you'd like, get in touch it, is shagged, married a nut. Stop that now. As always, if you'd like you get in touch it. It sounds like, um,

when you hear that fair bearing, Simon, Norman, Norman, Five and Sam. Good God. Shagmarionnorda gmail.com if you want to send by a long form email, please do. Or if you want to send a voice node 07-8774-40-6-650. I think I've read that right.

I'm seeing slightly double because I'm on my second time. He's always on the scene. Fireman, Sam, and his engine's bright and clean. We've spoke about this before. The fact that they got away with calling the only Italian woman in the whole place, Bella Lazzagna is just an absolute, what an absolute win. Bella lasagna. Unbelievable.

Honestly. I know. Bella lasagna. Okay, I've got a little voice note here. Are you ready? Yes. Hello, Chris. Hello, Rosie.

Longtime listener, first time messenger, I guess. Thank you. Just listening to the last few episodes where you were talking about baby showers and how they can get in the sea because they're absolutely ridiculous and waste of time.

I was asked to cover a shift recently and work by someone who had to go to a daughter's graduation so I thought that's really important, big achievement so I asked what her daughter had graduated in and was told it was nursery class. Yeah, we're graduating from nursery now. That can absolutely get in the bin

while we graduating from nursery class. I can't tell if he's got kids or not. That's hilarious. 100% I'm right. Oh, I hear it. It's the most ridiculous thing ever. I understand that. I have to go.

Memories. I'm going to make these little moments. People add these extra things in to have, it's fucking social media. But also, also, I've never, ever,

ever thought about it from the point of view of the person who has to cover the shift. I'd be fuming, imagine. That's fucking amazing. But he's probably thinking, oh my God,

congratulations. No problem at all. Of course I will. Graduation once in a lifetime. What are they want to do? What field are they going into? Oh, the rounders field

because it's nursery Hi Rosie and Chris I've got an ick that I genuinely don't think I can recover from Oh My boyfriend has built himself A bird table

And when I say built I mean he's not together What can only be described is a wonky wooden penthouse Using leftover bits of timber From one of his jobs Now you think we'd be attracting robins

Blue Tits or maybe the odd woodpecker No No what? What's left? It's exclusively pigeon. Every single. It's a pigeon penthouse. He has the weird bed. He stands at the window like some sort of Disney princess,

lovingly watching them eat while simultaneously shouting, go away at all, before immediately falling up with, oh, but they're hungry. So apparently, he's running a pigeon soup kitchen against his own will. He'll have full of. conversations with them right that's enough now oh you brought your mates no you can't all fit in there meanwhile he's the one who's put out enough feed to seed the entire

pigeon population of greater Manchester I've never seen someone so emotionally conflicted by birds watching watching a grown man in workbooth to whisper into a flock of feral pigeons he's personally catered for as an ick I never knew existed please tell me I'm not the only one living with a self-appointed pigeon landlord it's so good so he's putting out there wanting like fucking chaffinges and that

and like garden birds and he's just got the manky he's fucking he lives in central Manchester fucking Piccadilly Gardens fucked up feet yeah one of them you know and they've got the normal foot

and they're just a fucking like a mace oh man that's amazing that is so fucking funny but then you can't then you can't say no can you because you've started it already put it out there haven't you

that's fucking so funny oh my God I love it pigeon penthouse that he doesn't want to be part of. Please keep me anonymous. Listening to a recent episode that mentioned passive aggressive retail staff

took me back to my own unfortunate retail incident. Right. Okay? Use your brain for this one. About seven years ago during a summer break from uni, I started working at a local menswear shop

we sold suits, shirts, chinos and all that shite. Rees. One day, it's Rees. We were informed that a local celebrity would be coming in for a suit, possibly two, amongst other things.

Oh, is this me? It's not me, is it? Said bloke arrived alongside his wife, and we began dressing him in suits. Everything went smoothly. It was only when the time come to pay that a problem arose. I know what you're thinking. Was he expecting a freebie? A massive discount. No, it was none of that. It was me who caused the issue, in brackets. I must stretch, that it was entirely unintentional. The shop was a quirky one, full of decorative.

of features near the till was a sign reading naughty corner alongside a bowl of sweets. The celebrity's wife spotted it and said, oh, look, the sweets. What I said next still keeps me up at night. Trying to be conversational, I replied, oh, there's dog treats there as well. Unfortunately, what I had implied was that she was a dog. She left the shop rather hurriedly while her husband struggled to contain his laughter. The incident still haunts me to this day. Rosie, I'm so sorry I don't think of it.

or a dog. However, I did accidentally make professional comedian Chris Ramsey laugh. I don't remember that. Do you remember that? Was it Jules B in Jisman?

It must be, I don't remember. It must have been Jules B in Desmond. I fucking knew it was me straight away, but I didn't do anything stupid here. Well, take it this way, I didn't take offence at that at all and I don't really remember

oh, there's drug treats there as well. But you, maybe I do. Did you say it? Oh, for you? Like, to me? I think, yeah, I don't know. Maybe I threw your tennis ball out the door and you chased it.

Maybe he's a rock-o-r-r-r-g-r-d-loss-a-. Must have been. Oh, don't keep a-do-lake-by that. Oh, God, love you. No, listen, don't you worry about that. Like, anyone listening who's ever done anything like that, just please be aware that I've done a million times worse, a million times. Oh, God. So many times.

Oh. So many. I'm trying to think of one now at the top of my head, but I can't, but there's been many. Babadoo, babo, babo, babo, ba. Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of Shagmary Rinoid. Cheers. And watching. And watching.

This alcohol has hit me like a ton of fucking bits. And me, what's wrong? Oh, do you know, we haven't had any lunch? We haven't had any lunch. And it's bloody what? Or breakfast. It's half six. Oh no, we did have lunch.

I had that sushi but it was spicy. You were spicy. You could need it. No. I'm clamming. Clamming. So that's wrong. So there we go.

Guys, thank you so much for listening. Thank you so for watching. If you did, please continue to like, rate and subscribe. That'll be amazing. If you want to get in touch. Myrudeonoy at gmail.com to send in a long form email. And if you want to send in a voice note, which we fucking love to be fair.

07874, 406650. We'll love you so much. We do indeed. Thank you so, so much. Seven years. Chris Ramseycombe.com for my tour, which starts in a month's time. Stop that.

That's disgusting what you're doing there. Don't go on YouTube and watch that. Yes, so we'll be back in years. Next week. Bye. Let's eat some food. Soap. Yeah, let's pasta.

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