Sh**ged Married Annoyed - Rosie's bad week, safety gadgets and the IMDB of Porn

Episode Date: January 30, 2026

On this week's podcast Rosie is on a 'bad week' but that doesn't stop the pair from having a good laugh! They discuss Rosie's dreams, safety gadgets, a potential new invention and testosterone! Plus Chris serves up some facts and gets Rosie to join in on his quiz. There's beefs and even a WhatsApp beef from a SMA ! Another fart medley and some brilliant QTFTP! If you want to get involved and have your stories and voice notes included on the podcast then get in touch! 📧: [e-mail] 📱: 07874 406650 Enjoy all these episodes on the Shagged Married Annoyed YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@shagged.married.annoyed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Coming up on this week's episode of Shagmound annoyed. Rosie is in a stinker. Sorry, guys. Absolute stinker of a mood. I'll explain in the intro. Yes. It's very fine and I'm okay with it. Said like I've got a gun to me head.

But I do try a quiz to cheer you up. I do love a quiz. But you hated this one. Yes. Yeah. We told Robin all about the TV test screen. Couldn't believe he's life for you. F. Got to be honest with you.

Rosie is obsessed with buying safety equipment and you think you've invented your own. I genuinely think I have. I'm going to have a look online now. I beg to differ. We've got beefs from you lot, which is amazing. And also some questions from here as well. Via the email and via the WhatsApp and it's bloody lovely to hear your voices. And we'll hope you enjoy it as much as we did. Local news is in decline across Canada.

And this is bad news for all of us. With less local news, noise, rumors and misinformation fill the void. And it gets harder to separate truth from fiction. That's why CBC News is putting more journalists in more places across Canada, reporting on the ground from where you live, telling the stories that matter to all of us, because local news is big news.

Choose news, not noise. CBC News. The secret to Charlotte Cardin's captivating eyes? Panorama mascara by L'Oreal Paris. The multi-level bristle brush catches every lash from inner to outer corner. For panoramic volume with lashes that are so fanned out, Eyes appear 1.4 times bigger. See life in panorama because you're worth it.

Shop L'Oreal-Paris Panorama Mascara on Amazon now. Hello, you're listening and watching Shagam I'm annoyed with me, Rosie Ramsey and my husband, Christopher Ramsey. Hello. Hello. I would just like to start off the podcast. I don't want to be dower, but I just, this is a public warning. This is for you guys. I'm having the worst period, possibly of my entire life.

Yep. I feel really depressed. It's been about three days Didn't want to get out of bed this morning So it's just to warn you Right, more so Anything I say on this episode My opinions, when I'm in this mood

Pinch of Salt, it's a Pitcher Salt Dave Literally, babe You know the drill And that's why I love you But yeah I'm getting mixed signals Because you're in the worst mood ever But you've just said babe

And that's why I love you So I love you because you understand But yeah take everything I say With a Pinch of Sault To be fair Can I just pat myself on the back I've got a wrong hand I'm going to be tight off the gym

Can I just pat myself on them back and say I think for the past couple of days I've been quite good at reading the room and get the fuck out of your way Yes I think I've been quite good at it You just yeah You don't want cuddles

You don't want kisses You don't want comforting No You don't want anyone to sit and rub your hand No god no Literally zero contact Zero chat I want you around though

I need to be around To do things Yeah I'm away No not to do things Just to be around Right okay I need the kids around I feel happier when they're there

But I don't want to have to do anything think. And do anything that is involved in keeping them fed or clothed or whatever. I had a really strong opinion this morning. Right. Okay. And this is what I mean about my opinion. Not really.

Don't like take everything with a pinch of salt. Okay. I'm listening. My opinion was, yeah. I wish we'd had kids younger. Right. Okay.

Mm-hmm. But I understand why we didn't. Yeah. Because we're living our lives. I've had a lush like 20s and, you know, had a mined teens and 20s and then like early 30s or had kids. Yeah. I'm just fucking tired.

I know what. you mean. And I'm emotional and I think I'm perimenopausal and it's just a lot when you've got little kids. I know exactly what you mean. So it's that thing of like when you're in your 20s. I was just happy. Yeah, well, but when you're in your 20s and you know someone who's got a kid, like,

I'm talking like early, early 20s. We know people who had kids really young and you're like, oh, fucking hell. But now I see them with an 18 year old and I'm like, oh, fuck. Yeah, like you've got a fucking housemate now. You've got a housemate who can do stuff. Yeah. You're on your period and you're not having to get. get up and make people

snacks. Yeah, yeah. 24-7. Although then again, our kids, even when they're 18 and they're not going to be able to fucking make a cup of tea

without burning the house down. But they could run their own bath, Chris. Without flooding the house. Or you're going to trust our kids to run a bath. Possibly. You aren't you? But do you know what it is?

Tomorrow or probably, no, give us a week. Next week, I'll have a different opinion completely. Yeah. And I'll say. We should have them when I was 60. No, but like, no.

Pop them out, die. Get rid. Don't have to bother with them. It's a different world now, isn't it? Women need careers and we want to have them on your deathbed. Pop, someone else's problem, sireanara, I'm off.

That's the grimmest thing I've ever heard. Right, guys. I'll tell me of all right, cheer us up. I'll try me best, I'll try, but I've got feeling me sponsors are going to annoy you because it's something that does that's very close to our heart that does upset us both quite a lot. Not to deal.

When they got in touch, I couldn't believe it, etc., etc. Guys, thank you for watching. Thank you for listening. If you're watching on YouTube, please subscribe. listening to you haven't subscribed. What the fuck are you playing at? And thank you for being here all the time through this absolute cavalcade of bullshit.

And without further ado, it's time for this week's lucrative. Lucidus sponsor. This week's sponsor is people who take full photo shoots at public places and get absolutely astounded when someone walks in the way, mainly children. Adults. Hate them. Adults.

There she is. Get that out. Come on. Get it out. Get out. I squeeze the spot. Hate them. Fuck.

anger out. I hate them so much. It's so bad. It's so upsetting. And I'm referring to, we went to Edinburgh. Edinburgh just before Christmas. I see his face every night before I go to bed and I punch it. I punch it in my mind. What's really worrying is, that was the year before.

The one you're thinking of in front of the Edinburgh sign, that was the year before. Which one are you talking about? I'm talking about this year, the people who did it all in front of the castle and stuff. The one you're specifically talking about was that guy who Robin Wought in the way of his picture in front of the Edinburgh sign and he literally looked like you wanted to punch a He made a face behind his back, but I saw it.

And I went home, did you just do that to my child? Yeah. And he was like, oh, I thought you. Not a day. Oh, not today. Well, I'm just, just like everyone out there who's just standing there, getting your photo taken, please be away. It's a public place.

It's not your fucking studio. It's not your fucking living room. Get over yourself. You're not a Kardashian. Everybody wants to be. Exactly. Your 150 Instagram followers can wait an extra five minutes to see you holding a fucking Lattie in front of Edirah Castle, you twat.

Yep. And that's all I've got to say about that. I forgot about Edinburgh Castle. That was pretty rife. Like, don't get me wrong. I think if someone's taking a photo, like you, you know, it's a good ban on to just go, oh, sorry, but pick a place. No, but if you accidentally walk into someone's photo,

and they, like... They act like you're walking into the... They act like you're walking into that fucking hundred quid school photo package that you've paid for. Do you know what I mean? They're like you've walked in the studio and got your cock out in front the camera. But like, we're just living a world, though where people are so entitled and they're like

it's just madness and then I walk around going he oh here sorry oh sorry not anymore once again apologies to everyone for when I got my cock out in there in front of that camera

at my castle I did you know I did apologise it's really cool though you barely see it yeah she is a little smile no it's an irritation you've reminded us of people I hate why are you doing this

did you just sit up there Did you just sit up straight and fart a bit? No, I didn't fall. I don't know what I heard. I heard something. I fought very early when I'm on my pewed. I think the tampon stops like, I don't know what it does. I don't pump as much.

I think it's like if there's too much going on. Like down there, it's like, oh, but that's trapped and it's just weird. Okay. I'm constantly. Okay. I don't think it's hormones. I think you're just not pumping enough. Is that what it is?

You'll ever fart. I know. I think you're not fart enough on your period. That's what it is. Right. There's a traffic jam. There's a jam. Yeah.

Jam packed, mate. Jam roll Jam roll Right that's enough I can eat your jam roll Great Okay Leave your period

In the int row Let's crack on But it's gonna be hovering In the background So like I said again Pinch your salt Everything I say Right

Pinch your salt And it will be salty And it will be salt I'll change my mind tomorrow Great Okay Thank you Thank you for your cooperation

Through this hard time See you next month We had a fight about the jingle Jingle We couldn't set a lawn a jingle jingo So this is the jingle Jingle Jingle Jingle

We hope you like the jingle Jingle jingo Babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo bao Jingo Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of Shagged Marriedenoid Hello Now the first thing I've got to talk about today

I didn't consider that it was this time of the month that this was going to go on So this it's going to again I feel like maybe it's like a stress ball like a punch bag I feel like you know where the people taking photos, gets a bit of anger out, you squeezes that spot,

releases that pressure. Here's another one for you. Right, great. Genuinely, I've got a death wish, the fact that I'm reading this now. Research has verified a common observation. Men often experience more pronounced symptoms

when sick than women. Studies indicate that even a mild fever of 37.2 degrees, men can feel significantly worse than women. The reason... Why? What is the research? The reason is rooted in biology, specifically in chromosomes and sex hormones. Estrogen strengthens and accelerates women's immune responses,

providing an early advantage against infection. In contrast, testosterone, luds, tends to slow the initial immune reaction, allowing viruses more time to establish themselves before the body mounts a defense. These insights come from the study, sex differences in immune responses to infectious diseases, the role of genetics, hormones and age, and they offer a scientific basis for the so-called man flu phenomenon. All right. Well, there you go.

No? Like, do you know what it is? The fact that you do go on like you're dying and there's worse. So it's good at there's some scientific evidence now. Yeah. So there you go. No?

Didn't expect that. I was, uh, I'm not gonna lie. I was shaking during that. I'm not a man hater. No, I know you're not. I love men. I think men are fantastic. Not all of them.

Some of them are fucking disgusting. There it is. But no, a lot of men are amazing. I've got two sons. I'm married to a man. man. I love men. I think men are great. I think he's great. Okay, that makes, yeah. It's quite cool, isn't it? It is good.

Yeah. You can't deny, like, science. Science. Science and facts. And estrogen and progesterone and all this shit. Like, I'm currently living it, mate. Got you. You know what I mean? Yeah. Women take testosterone now. Did you know that?

This is a housewives thing, mate. Yeah, on housewives. They get, like, pellets in the butt. Sorry? They get, like, injections, pellets of testosterone. testosterone like in their ass cheeks. Oh, right, so it's not like, it's an injection, it's not a suppository. No, like an injection. Oh, okay.

And it's meant to just, like, they just feel amazing. Apparently their sex drive goes like through the roof. Really? Yeah. Jesus. It's interesting though, isn't it? Yeah, so why do I take it? Science. Because, obviously, when you become a certain age,

when you're going through the menopause, you lose all of your, like, estrogen keeps women, like, young in the way they are, but you lose all of that. Okay. So it's a testosterone. I don't think you can... Oh God, I could be completely... I don't think you can, like, get more estrogen. Right.

Estrogen, whatever. But, like, testosterone, the man kind of, like, hormone makes women feel unbelievable. Right. Because it's a really strong, powerful... Well, there we go. Well, you're going to lose testosterone, though, soon one day. Fucking doubt it, mate.

Yes, you are? I'll have a load of spay of me. Kidder's the most manly man in the world, me? Eh? Look at these hands that I've been laying bricks for... Wow. Wow. Wow.

Hey, speaking to depressing. Oh, great. Oh my God. This is the worst episode ever. No, no, it's not. It's not just everyone, our age who's got kids. Can we just please relive for a moment that we had to describe to Robin the other day what the test screen was on the TV? Oh, the clown with the creepy clown?

Yeah, you had no idea. Everyone, all the 90s kids out there, can you remember when the TV finished on a night or before, no, it was before it started on a morning? So if you woke up early, like earlier than. six o'clock before the cartoon started. Yeah, it was on from our Tootel... Yeah, that screen where it was the girl with the chalkboard and the clown and the ball or whatever and it was just...

It was like, who designed that? So horrible. It was disgusting. And I showed Robin a picture of it and I was like, there was nothing on, so you had to sit and you have to watch that and listen to the beep until the telly started. And he was like, oh my God! He was fucking freaking out.

Heroin, wasn't it? He was freaking out. It was probably harrowing. Yeah, but I felt extremely old describing it to him. Well, I just feel like, well, We are our parents now because all the time I see it the kids like

back in our day and I never thought I would do that but I do I shout at the kids like my mom shouted at me and then I sometimes

think well I'm all right but I'm a I don't know am I doing the right thing no no right no not really but I don't know I don't believe

I don't believe you can not shout out at your kids I can't not shout out of them I don't believe they're whined they fucking bush my buttons you have to not be a fucking monk to not be able to

Showling are a Buddhist fucking monk, the calmest, most zen person in the world. I know some people who don't shout out of the kids. Get your fucking shoes on. I don't say fucking get your shoes on. I know some people who don't shout with the kids. And are their kids, little pricks? Yes.

There it is. So, there it is. There you go. I mean, no, I don't know them well. I got what you know. Not all my friends shout at their kids. Parent the same, yeah, yeah. I pretty much, like my whole, most women I know,

parent the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's what kind of like makes us like other women. Yeah. But yeah, I've met, I've come across women in life I've never even heard them raise a voice. Crazy. And I'm just going, you are so self-controlled.

I envy you. Well done. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, ba. Bet mode activated. The score bet app here with trusted stats and real-time sports news. Yeah, hey, who should I take in the Boston game? Well, statistically speaking. Nah, no more statistically speaking.

I want hot takes. I want knee-jerk reactions. That's not really what I do. do. Is that because you don't have any knees? The score bet. Trusted sports content, seamless sports betting. Download today. 19 plus, Ontario only. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or the gambling of someone close to you, please go to conixonterio.ca.

With Amex Platinum, $400 in annual credits for travel and dining means you not only satisfy your travel bug, but your taste buds too. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Conditions apply. I was guilty of multiple skin care crimes. Two counts of sleeping and makeup.

One count of using disposable wipes. I knew my routine had to change. So I switched to Garnier-Missler water. It gently cleanses, perfectly removes makeup, and provides 24-hour hydration. Clear away the evidence with the number one Missler water worldwide by Garnier. Listen, do you want cheered up?

I need cheer up. Got a quiz for you. I thought you could. I thought you had some crisps, but whatever. That would be good. That would be gone on the podcast, wouldn't it? Let's just listen to this miserable cow. Eat some crisps for 10 minutes.

Fair enough. Oh, don't eat on the podcast. Anyway, listen. I've got a quiz for you. You're being a bitch today, but I quite enjoy it. Do you? Yeah, yeah. I don't think I enjoy it.

I don't think I enjoy it. Just don't do that thing where, like, tomorrow, you're like, we need to take loads of stuff out because I was nasty. It sounds just horrible. Yeah, well, you're told the beginning that you're going to be horrible, and now you're not horrible. I'm not a horrible person. No, no, this is the real you.

They're all saying the real you. This is not the real me. I'm joking. Don't, because this is not the real me. I am a, fucking, I'm a delight two and a half weeks of the month. And then I'm not nice, but I'm nice. I am a nice person. You are a lovely person.

I'm a good drunk. I'm a nice man. You're a lovely man. Don't worry about it. Why am I so sad? I could cry. I don't, I'm going to cry. That's it.

If you have again acting, right, and you go, you look at the screen, look at the script, sorry, and go, right, you see these really intense crying scenes. to do them on like the 28th of the month please because I'll fucking just better turn it on yeah are you okay no you need a minute

yeah no I'm all right are you sure yeah I'm fine no it's god how miserable is this I'd turn this off would you yeah do you want a quiz yeah yeah I'm not letting this ruin

no no no no Because people would be like, oh, why did you stop the podcast? And I'm not letting my period ruin my career. No. So it can go fuck itself. It can fuck off. And I'm, I want to do this quiz. And I'm going to have a lovely time.

Right. I might fake laugh just twice. It's a really hard quiz. You're going to lose. Oh, God! I just want to go with a hot water bottle. You're going to have one after this, all right? It's all good.

Rob and Josh have episodes like this all the time. on parent and hell Good Do you want to stop everything No, come on Are you sure? Are you sure? Right

So, quiz for you Yes I saw a thing on Instagram Right Loved it Words describe it Emotions you've felt before But you didn't know

There was a name for the emotion Great All right Yeah You're interested You're excited Are you ready? Yeah

Hankassaw What is Hankassaw A sneeze No Right What is it? It is finding someone so attractive that it actually hurts or annoys you.

Oh my God. You just feel it all the time when you look at me. No. But, okay, Hankassau. Is it German? I imagine some of these are, one, disclaimer. Some of these are probably from different languages. Haven't researched it.

Two, some of them might be slightly wrong because when I type them in, the computer might have auto-corrected them to something else. Right. So, a pinch of salt. Pinch of salt. You're not on your period. I am always on. We're synchronized.

I've told you this before. My periods, honestly, I'll just, I'll just deal with mine like a fucking man. That's the only difference, mate. Right. Wish I was a fucking man. Churit, Churisalism.

Churisillism. Chirisalism. Did you just find this underneath the goddamn toilet and put it together? What the hell? No, something to do with churos. Nearly.

Pete, close. Feeling of. peaceful coasiness while indoors during a storm. It's got nothing to do with two rows. All right then, but they're nice in the cup at you. And they're warm. You buy them quick enough. This is the worst one you've ever done.

Hurry up. Excellancus. Is that Spanish for excellent? No. The feeling of giving up trying to explain an experience because people are unable to relate to it. That's wild. Excellancus.

I think so. You'll forget them all. Agonos agonosthesia That's Greek The state of not knowing What you truly feel about something Not nice

Confused Yeah This is I don't think this is real Jouska The hypothetical conversation You have in your head with someone Oh I do that a lot

I do that in the shower I argue with motherfuckers all the time I had a fight Did you? Oh my God I stabbed somebody in my dream last night A man Holy shit.

That's that, that, that, that's awful. What have you been watching? What have been watching? Oh, TikTok. No, loads of stuff. The programs we watch. What did he cut his arm off for? Do you know that new bread knife we've got?

That's super sharp. Yes. It's so sharp, isn't it? Yes. Like, it's crazy sharp. Last night I turned to you while cutting a nan bread with it and I said this knife's amazing, by the way. Maybe it's because of that. So, no, I just had a dream that got robbed and had that knife and on my bed.

And it was two men. The house we were in was. Beautiful. Oh, stunning. And we were running away, and I had that knife, and I chopped his arm off, like here, from the bottom, just underneath his shoulder, and down. Right.

Do you know what that's off? What? You watch the end of Black Panther with us at the night, and Ulysses' claw gets his arm ripped off. There we go. Well, I did it with the sharp bread, right now. I've just put together all the bits of your dreams. Thank you.

I woke up. Yeah? Hang on. Knife in hand. Okay, it works full time now. You can't ring her. I can't even ask her. What a dream means?

Hey, Siri. What does it mean when you stab somebody in your dream? It's really worth watching the podcast on YouTube this week. Because she is. Fucking hell. Oh, God. This is what you need. Liberosis.

Oh. Do you want that is? It's type of deodorant. Close. The desire to care less about things. great. Well, I had liberalis that quiz I couldn't give a liberosis.

Oh, great. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. It's time for What's your beef. What's your beef? What's your beef? Listen, I'm terrified to do beef this week, so why don't you go first?

I don't have one for you because, no, because you've just been lush. I don't have one. Thank you. Thank you very much. You've made his coffee in bed. You've left us alone.

Uh-huh. You finally, actually, you've watched all the videos I've sent you about hormones, et cetera, et cetera. And I feel like you actually finally understand. Because I think you see, you actually notice the change. Yeah. And I'm really sorry because I think you have married somebody who actually, I think I've genuinely got like a thing.

Yeah. And I just really appreciate. Wow. For our marriage and our sanity, I just appreciate your understanding at this difficult time. Thank you very much. My beef with you. this isn't too bad

this is too bad this is something I've bought and discussed for a while right okay great my belief of you is you are now fully addicted to buying

products that have been fear advertised to you on Instagram no not the car thing not just the car thing not just the car thing not just the car thing

so guys certain things are popping up around our house that Rosie's watched on our Instagram and just bought it out of fucking fear I imagine

they're like middle of the night purchases. Not always. So we've got a big fucking suction cup thing for stopping people choking now in the house. Well, children more so. Yeah, yeah.

Or people. That was actually, my friends are all teachers. Yeah. And they told us about that. That's fair enough. And they said, you should have one. Right. So that one's fair enough.

It's like a suck thing. Looks like an oxygen mask. I only just found out. You've actually got to wait until the person's knocked out before you do it. I'd be like, for a while is. Yeah. Yeah, you put over them,

hike it down, and then whatever, the stuff comes out. It's one of my biggest fears. The kids choking and not be little doing, yeah, yeah, of course, of course. Can we just talk about

if you actually added up the amount of hours? We've just hung around with kids while they're eating. Oh, you can't leave the room. It's like, I've wasted months? Probably months, right?

Just hanging around waiting for my kids to finish a meal. For the next episode, I can work out the exact time. I told you how long I'd saved in the shower with me three and one conditioner shampoo and body wash, which I'm still going strong.

on by the way. Your mom got us two more bottles of that for Christmas. Honestly, I'll be fluent in Portuguese by this time next year. I haven't started trying to learn it at all. Is it Portuguese? It's just the one I want to learn. Oh, why Portuguese? Because that's the time I'm, I told you, man, I'm learning time.

Of all the languages, is that what you want to learn? That's fine, if that's what you want to learn. Where do you think we speak it? Portugal. And? Golf. No. What do you mean golf?

You think they speak Portuguese? No, you, like, you want to go to Portugal to play golf? Yeah, yeah, yeah. but it's Brazilian as well I speak to in Brazil so there's a lot of Brazilian jitter words are in Brazil as well

so there you go okay then there you go listen to me yeah the one that it really is taking the pace I think there's three things you've bought

but I can't remember the third one but the second one is that car thing so guys Rosie she bought three right

just in case we'll lose one no right one for your car one for my car one for my mom's car right one for your mom's car right

it's like what is it it's like This, you can tell, you can tell, you can tell you were raised watcher 9-99. Oh, yeah. Right? Like, it's a, it's like a little pen thing. And on one side of it is like a special knife that you cut a seat belt.

You cut your seat belt off. Right. And then the other thing, you put it on the window and you jab the top and it shatters the window. For if you fall into a lake. Yeah. For if you're driving to a fucking lake and sink and you can get out of the car. You seem to think that we take our kids. to school

through some kind of through some kind of rainforest trek. Rosie, if we went off the fucking bridge, if we went off Newcastle Bridge or we went off Sunlin Bridge,

drowning at the bottom wouldn't be your fucking problem. Hitting the water would probably end at all. Okay, fair enough. Listen, I know it's very rare, right? But I just thought

have it in your glove box. Yeah. I'll give us yours to someone else. No, no, I want it. I'll, because I don't know. Yeah, so I want it. No, honestly, right?

I'm telling you right now, the video, the advert for it. It's about three minutes long. I watched the full thing. And this guy, I think you worked for the emergency services. Right. And he realized that it was happening a lot and people couldn't get out. And so he was like, right, I'm going to invent this thing.

That's another fear of mine. Just because you can't open the door when you're under the water. You can't smash the window because cars are so well made nowadays. Yeah. So I just think if that one day, do you want to watch the word? Tell us how much the word? Don't. because I've got another beef with you as well

about buying stuff. Do you want to guess how much worth it? Each. They're only little. There can't be more than 10 quid each. Shut up man. 20? Get to fuck.

30 quid each. I think there was 70 pound each. You can... You taking the piss. What are they called? It's 210 quid. What are they called? What are they called?

What they call? The call a goddamn waste of fucking money is what they're called. What are they called? What they call? They're called... Safety. They're called... We saw her coming

at mug.com. What are they called? Hang on, I'll find out. No, there mustn't be that much. I'm not shitting on it. It is a good idea if you do end up getting... It's just really funny

that you bought it. It's really, really funny that you bought it. Oh, God. Oh, they? Yeah? Tell us how much it was. Or 35 pound each.

Oh, right. Okay, so half of the thought. 70 quid for two. Right, okay. No. but yeah the overall price was more that's what I got me. Still over 100 quid for something that's never going to get used.

It might. Never say never. They'll stay in your dressing room, they'll never go in the cars and the day we are drowning in a river I'll turn to it and I'll go and you didn't even put them in the car and that'll be the last thing I say to you.

Oh God, that is me. They'll not be in the car and I'll go, where's that thing? I bought it. Good. Be glad of it the day. God. Oh, my.

Wake me your... Wake me on inside. You're ill. You're ill. Finish, what was your last thing? I haven't bought anything else. No, you have. You have.

This was going to be next week's beef, but I'll do it this week. What? I... I walked into the sitting room the other day, and I said to you, Rosie, just so you know, I've bought some special eco-spungers for the kitchen sink,

because the ones we've got, I saw a video on them, and put loads of plastics everywhere. They're really bad for the environment. Right? And you went, right, okay. And then literally two days later, you went, Chris, I've bought a...

What's that alarm for? What's that alarm for? Careful, you've got your headphones in. What's that alarm for? I need to buy a washing machine. What you're seeing? What kind of washing machine? What does it do?

Does it double up as an airage shelter? There's a double up as a nuclear fallout point here and kids? the bomb start dropping. How much was it? Seven grand. You can get your whole family in it. What do you do? Climb in it and it shoots you out and flies it to safe location.

No, I just need to bomb. Oh my God. Right. Yeah, two days later, you came up and you said. Chris, I've bought some eco-spungers for the kitchen and I went, are you taking the piss? I told you that the idea. He went, no, you didn't.

I said, how many of you bought? Tell them how many you bought? Your supply. So, come back. supply, maybe. Sort of that. That's what I bought as well. So come back in two years

when we'll have run out of sponges and we'll need some new ones. Mother. But hang on, I guarantee that, because they're like ego and that. They're actually quite good. To me,

they're actually all right. I thought they'd be crap. No, they're really good. I was like, these are just going to break apart and be rubbish, but actually really good. But I bet you can't have them for longer than like a year.

No. But it's like, oh, they don't, they're not as good after a year. You put them the dishwasher and everything apparently like. Yeah, can you? For real. You didn't even watch the full video with that.

It was because there was no death. It's because there was no death on Japanese. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm just sick of being told. I'm eating microplastics. Yeah, I know what you mean. So, you know. And actually, these sponges, they're pretty cool.

They do. There's a little bit on the side. You pull out the aerial out and you can walkie toky, the emergency services for help if your house is on fire. Great. Imagine. Oh, by the way. Yeah.

Oh, I'll tell you later. Tells them the next bit. No, it's just about if there's a fire in the house. I want to get a little, a little, what my mom said, We should get a little wooden ladder, but you can pin at this. Right, right.

What the fuck? So she's been straight. So she's the same, right? Right. But you're going on to her if there's a fire. Right. What am I going to do? If there's a fire.

Right. So your mom said. Even though my mom is, did your mom stay in with this for like, you're good. I'm glad. I love her. Right, so your mum has said, if there's a fire, we need to get a wooden ladder.

Great choice of material, by the way, for the fire. A wooden ladder, definitely a wooden one. Had an idea that I, right, okay, here's my invention. Side of your house on the brickwork. There should just be two, like things stuck in, what they're called, like stumps with attachments. Like fixings, like on a swing. Right. Like the top of the swing where you clip them on.

Okay. And everybody should just have a little hook, Captain Hook ship ladder that's rolled up, right? And you should be able to take it out outside of the window. Yeah. Because there's no way, our mattress is so heavy. It's a temper mattress. We cannot throw that out the window. No, no.

I remember the guy who brought it in. You looked at who was going to die. Well, we can't do that. So, put the, have them there all the time, have your little ladder there. And you go, oh, God, there's smoke everywhere. We need to get out the house. Open the window. Yeah.

Put the ladders on the little hooks, let them go down and then climb down into the back garden, into safety. Got you. Is that not a good invention? So you think it should be two hoops and you should have a ladder. Have I made? No, but house fire escapes. Right.

Every house should have one. A ladder that comes out. A ladder that you have like under your bed, it just stays under your bed all rolled up. It's just like wood and rope. And then you attach it. to these things and then it'll fall down

and then you just you know, send your children down and then you go down and everybody's safe. Okay. I think I've just, I've saved,

I've saved hundreds of... Have you just saved millions of lives? I think so. Wow. Oh, they're going to be expensive. I've made it. Yeah. Well, you need to get your money back

or fall of all the other shite you've been buying. You need to breathe. Could this be me one? Could this be it? Holy shit. It's my fog of period. Have I just invented the best thing ever? I imagine it'll already be a thing

because ladders are a thing. The problem with it is you've got no way of patent and what you've just come up with All you've said is use hooks in a ladder Right, well I'll Well, what we're going to call it And then that's it Nothing, it's hooks and a ladder

Everyone can do it No, I know, but you get them as a set All right, okay, so you'd have to buy them separately No, just get them as a proper set Okay Oh man Nearly Then which bedroom do you put them outside?

Can I rest doing an upgrade? What's that? Slide climb down a rope ladder, I think again. Yes, they could. If it's touching a wall, no chance. Where they're going to grab? Well, it's either that or jumping out the window.

Okay. Take the risk. Fair enough. Carry your kid. Happy little podcast this week, isn't it? It's awful. It's horrible. I actually, I'm having an awful time.

Guys, I'm sorry. No, I'm not. I'm joking. I'm joking. Oh, guys, get rave christened. Is that going on again? Get rave christen. Bang on.

Babadoo, babo, babo. Boating for flight 246 to Toronto is delayed 50 minutes. Ugh, what? Sounds like Ojo time. Play Ojo? Great idea. Feel the fun with all the latest slots in live casino games and with no wagering requirements. What you win is yours to keep groovy. Hey, I won!

Boating will begin when passenger fisher is done celebrating. 19 plus Ontario only. Please play responsibly. Concerned by your gambling or that if someone close, You call 186653310 or visit Comexontera.com. Investing is all about the future. So what do you think is going to happen? Bitcoin is sort of inevitable at this point.

I think it would come down to precious metals. I hope we don't go cashless. I would say land is a safe investment. Technology companies. Solar energy. Robotic pollinators might be a thing. A wrestler to face a robot, that will have to happen. So whatever you think is going to happen in the future, you can invest in it at WealthSimple.

Start now at WealthSimple.com. Adobe Acrobat Studio, your new foundation. Use PDF spaces to generate a presentation. Grab your docks, your permits, your moves, AI levels of your pitch, gets it in a groove. Choose a template with your timeless cool. Come on now, let's flex those two. Drive design, deliver, make it sing.

AI builds the deck so you can build that thing. Do that, do that. Learn more at Adobe. It's time.com slash do that with Acrobat. It's time for questions from the public. Public. Public. As always, if you like, again, touch, it's shagmaridenoid at gmail.com. And the WhatsApp number is on Instagram and I can't fucking remember it.

But it's there. Great. There's been a lot of them, by the way. Very, very funny and thoroughly enjoying them. Thank you. Lots of farts. Yeah. We've divided. I don't know if we've divided the public. I don't know if it's that thing of like

the people who don't like it have really, really got in touch and really got hurt to it. I saw one comment that said, don't like the farts, don't find them funny, I'm not a 10 year old boy. Wow.

How many not find Farts funny? Farts are hilarious. I don't know what the fuck. Like, I don't know. It's that thing of like, it's that thing like, if you listened to every single person's comment and changed all your thing,

changed it because of everyone's comment, you'd be left with nothing. Yeah. You wouldn't have a thing anymore. Do you like Farts? Love Farts. I like Forts. Very funny.

We put the fort on. 100%. But have you ever heard the phrase a camel is a horse designed by a committee? Oh yeah, that's good. I like that.

It's like when you get a committee involved in loads of people's stuff, it's like, it's a fucking mess. I've got a community. Even though camels are awesome. Camels are beautiful. No offence of the camels.

I've got a committee meeting tonight. Right, for J&S. For your singing club. It's going to be interesting. Oh, they're going to like you tonight. Well, that thing is you can turn it on with them. You don't hide it from me. You can hide it from everyone else.

Yeah. Yeah. Do you want some fart? If you don't like fart, guys, do you want to just skip a head? Press that skip button. That'll be fine. You ready? Some belters.

All right. Oh, God. In-laws have come to stay. I don't think they quite appreciate some of the things I have to say on some stuff. And this is one of them. Last one, real. The in-laws have gone to stay. I don't know.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Awful. Oh, man. We have a real-life beef in the flesh. Oh, wow, okay. Do you want to hear it? If you got a guy, yeah, guys, if you've got beef with your partner or your, you know, your brother, your sister, your parents, whatever, you can send it in.

And let's see whose side we fall on here. All right then. Hello, my fiancé is currently sat next to me. And this is my beef for the week. He wants to book a last minute holiday, right? What's we're supposed to be doing, finding one last minute and go in. And he said to me last week, do you think we can just take hand-looking? Do you think we can just take hand luggage?

I said no. No, because I need to take my sun cream, the liquids you can't take, etc. That wasn't okay. He wanted to just take hand luggage. Now, can you tell them what you've just asked me if you can bring? Come on.

The golf clubs. They wants to bring the golf clubs. I'm only allowed hang luggage and he wants to bring the golf clubs. So that is my beef for the week. mate are you fucking for real he wants her

so he's trying to save a couple of quiddyer he's looking on the thing yeah because you've got to pay extra yeah so he wants her to take just hand luggage and him to taste just hang luggage because to take the clubs that's more expensive than actual cases

is it like we've never done that is it like sports equipment yeah it's really expensive to take yeah so say I don't know whatever say your suitcases are like you know it's like oh add a add a 20 kilogram hold bag for $14.99 or whatever the fuck it is. The clubs would be probably double that.

Right. But he's going to just let them have hand luggage and then he's going to take his golf clubs. So she's going to have to take, you know, under 50 millilitres of everything she uses. And he's got, dude, the fucking net on him though. Yeah, I don't agree with that. Yeah, but then, mate, I'm sorry, like, you know, I'm normally trying to stick up for the fellas as much as I can. But the neck on him, you, fuck you. Confident bastard.

There you go, love. Yeah. Just make sure you take that test. The tester cream For You've got no chance, Paul No Babadoo Babadu Babadu Babadu

Hey both A great podcast saw you live in Liverpool Love you, thank you That was a good gig Please keep an non Oves This could be a Rosie's mysteries Let's do it

My mate's girlfriend And mother of his child Borrowed his laptop To do some work on Whilst on the laptop She discovered something That threatened the very foundations of their relationship.

I know where you're going, but it's not. Okay. Something that took a hell of a lot of groveling, promising, and pleading to save the relationship. What do you think she found? So you've just started me listening to Bed of Lies. Oh, yes. Very good podcast.

Yeah, and they find, like, they find out that all that, spoiler alert, they find out that all their partners are undercover coppers. Yeah. Was it the 80s? 90s. 90s. So that's where my brain's immediately gone,

but it's obviously not that bad I immediately then went to gay porn okay but it's obviously not that bad because the way you look at is the fact that they've sent it in I think gay porn would be better what?

No I don't know it depends no I don't know it's a bit icky sorry can we just point out there that I went straight from under cover cop at gay porn and I completely missed out just cheating

I can't really I'll just cheat not email in an ex it's not it's something like going to buy something that's like ridiculous I think a previous episode has sparked somebody's memory

right okay I don't know so she curiously opened a dubiously love that name named Excel spreadsheet in this spreadsheet she found he had logged

with title description length, rating out of 10 and link of every porn video he had watched online for about the last five years. Go and fuck off. No. He's a murderer. Do you think? He's an actual murderer.

That is... It's very strange. There's so much porn out there. Well, I know. What are you doing, cataloging it? You mustn't watch much. You must. Well, how long was the spreadsheet?

Oh, God, I don't know. Five years. This is five years worth. Jeez Louise. He obviously sticks with one video. It doesn't like flick between them. Well, no, well, he obviously doesn't. He obviously watches loads and then keeps them and keeps a league table.

He's like the IMDB of porn. But why would you? Do you think it's a community? I don't know. There's comments. There's comments on porn videos, which I find odd. Do you think it's a community? Everyone needs a community.

I suppose. So do you think he's now like, they're my friends? Is it weird that I want to know what his favourite one was? I'm desperate now. I would love to know that. Five stars, great cinematography, sound, light and acting, fantastic. Yeah, no sadness in her eyes. I struggle with porn.

Yeah. I just can't, I just think they look sick of their lives. Like, honest to God, I just think they look like, I just can't see past it. Fifth one today. I can't see past it. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadu, ba. Hi, Chris and Rosie.

Hello. I was recently listening to one of your episodes, I think it was the one with Carlo Chinson. We talked about Greg's, and a funny story about my partner popped in at my house. mind. Nice. In 2021 during COVID my partner worked from home and he decided for his lunch he would make a homemade Greg's pasty. I think you can buy, we've got sausage rolls in the freezer. I think you can buy them. Right. I got them from Iceland a while ago. So I think you, I think, homemade Greg's pasty.

No, they're not home made, they're just Greg's but frozen. The actual Greg's brand. Oh yeah, we've got them in the freezer. We've got the sausage roast. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So I think you can buy pasties as well. Okay. So he's just, he's not making it. He's heating it up. Yeah, that's sorry, yeah. He's just put it in the oven. Okay. You know what I mean? Okay. Fast forward, the pasty had finished cooking and he decided to eat it in bed, topless.

It was a dark time, won't it? It was such a dark time. Horrible. Greg's was open during all this. Just go to Greg's. No, but you can buy them. Right, okay. Why would you do that when you've got them?

So he's eating a homemade Greg pasty, topless. He took one bite of it and the middle collapsed onto his open chest. Oh, fuck. In a panic, he grabbed a towel and wiped away the skull. holding content which peeled away his skin with it. Oh my God, how fucking hot is it? They're boiling hot? Yeah.

You've got to have, how you ever ate a really hot sausage roll or whatever? Yeah, horrible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, God, I could eat your sausage roll right now. You know what, I'll go out and get you one to fill and shut you up. Come on. Yeah, actually. Yeah, of course.

Within 48 hours, he had to go to hospital, suffering with third degree burns. No way. He had called ahead via 1-1-1, and when he arrived, it turns out the nurses had a bet on which type of pasty it was that caused the damage. A bet which related in one of them winning 20 pounds thanks to betting on... Can you guess what it is? What was... so pasties. Which one is it?

Say I don't know the pasties. I never get them. You don't know your pasties? Something about pasties just upsets us. I never get a pasty. Oh, right. This is upsetting because you do this with every food. What was it you did it with recently?

I don't know what you're like, you are the connoisseur of it? What was it? Oh God. What is it that I made recently and you were like, I hate this? And you were like, no, it's absolutely lush. Oh, the tortillas. The tortillas? The tortillas.

The tortillas. What are them egg, potato things that you do in the, in the microwave? Oh, frittatas. For tatas. Yeah. You slag me off for years for eating for tortas. And I made you one one day and now you're like, oh, they're the best thing ever. Yeah, of course.

Now I'm the CEO of Frotterter Limited. It's how I'm, it's how I'm. It's sausage and bean melt. That's the only one I like. Oh, that would be a hot one. That would be really fucking hot. That would be hot because the cheese and that. Yeah, yeah.

It's actually not. It was. it was a steak bake. Steak bake. Congratulations. If you got steak bake at home. That must have been, so it took a layer of his skin off

on his chest. So he's got a big old, like fucking Iron Man. He's got a big old Tony Stark hole in the middle of his chest. Oh God. Sad times, isn't it? Right, okay.

I think the embarrassment of having to turn up at A&E because you've dropped a pasty on your chest and it's peeled to be a skin off. That's got to be up there with having something stuck up your ass. No. That's so,

it's so pathetic. Oh, no, I'm sorry. I was not, oh, no, I'm sorry. I was nowhere near is bad. I know it's not as bad, but it's the same fucking ballpark, in it? It's pretty embarrassing. That's fucking hard.

But it's like, do you know what it reminded me of? Do you know, in the summer? Yeah. If, like, you know, if I'm in the garden or whatever in a costume or a bikini, and then I go cook. Yeah. Like lunch.

I'm very aware that I've not got many clothes on. Do I mean? Yeah. Scary times. See, but that's the thing where he tried, he tried, he flew too close to the, son you tried to live the high life too much eating a pasty and bed topless you know you didn't you hadn't you didn't deserve it yeah you didn't deserve that kind of godlike living

living like a cane no yeah back down to earth me yeah yeah babadoo babadoo babadu babadu ba hey rosy and chris i was listening to episode 282 and the story about the resurrected cat reminded me of a savage dumb founding but hilarious thing my nana once said savage is brilliant I don't remember the episode about the resurrected cat. I've got no idea. 2082. It's a while ago. Okay.

I obviously love my nana unconditionally, and she has always been very kind to me, but she can be pretty savage and have old-fashioned or just plain weird opinions occasionally. Yeah. Of course. For yonks, love the word yonks. It means a long time.

She was complaining that all the neighbourhood cats were pooing on our lawn, so my dad finally bought some cat repellent spray, squirted it all over my nana's lawn, and told her that the spray should get rid of them. Right. A few weeks later, my nana told my dad that the cat spray clearly wasn't working. Well, my dad said, why?

Are you still fighting cat poo everywhere? She said, no, but I just don't say anybody's on the lawn. She was checking every morning. She was the deed cats. It killed the cats. Fucking hell. After a couple of seconds of silence, I said, the spray isn't meant to kill the cats, Nana.

I love the idea. She's like, ah, bastards, none yet, right? Maybe tomorrow. God.

It finishes with with, I can't believe she was totally cool with my dad's brain, cat poison that would instantly kill all cats

that end that her. So she didn't think like any, like, you know, obviously if it's strong enough to kill

a fucking cat or a dog, it's going to make humans ill. She wasn't asked about that. She just, can't you get like a whistle thing? I know, I used to go up

my mate's house back in the day and someone in the back lane where I used to park I was just when I started learning a drive, I'd like a, it. Well, we've got one in the garden, the fox thing.

That gives out a really, really high-pitched thing that we can't hear. Yeah. But they can hear. I ran out of battery fucking years ago. Did it? That's just a plastic. That's just a bit of plastic now.

The light still works? Solar. Solar. Yeah, that's a different thing. That solar light is not the fox thing. I don't know where the fox thing went. What is it? What's that solar light?

It's just a little light. No, that's the fox thing. It's not. The light next to the trampoline. Uh-huh. That's not, that's just a solar light that I put there. It's not the foxing.

thing but it is for the fox. It's to stop the fox as shit in the other trampoline. Yeah. Also it was the light. Yeah, it was just the light. It just comes on and they run off. Yeah. Fucking fox shit. Horrible.

I know, that's the worst, isn't it? And they turn your lawn yellow. Oh yeah, they're like, I just want nice stuff. What are you taking? Can't have it, man. Nah. Fox says no. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadu, ba.

Hello, Chris and Rosie. Please get me anonymous. Always! I've just listened to the medium to low-level shragas episode and it reminded me, did what you say about? I called it medium and all level shock I'd say. That's us.

It reminded me of one particular date I had with a guy a few years ago. We'd already been on a date, on a few dates, sorry, and previously slept together. All good. Oh. So on this day, we had been for brunch and decided on an afternoon bed workout. Wow. Exciting. God, it's fucking no better a day.

I'm genuinely angry. I know. I know. We used to do that. Yeah, but we don't know when I'm angry about it. We would sometimes cut our day short to go home and have sex. But I don't now when I'm angry about it. it.

I know. And it's their fault. Why is it their fault? Because they're doing it now. Life just takes a different... Actually, this might be years ago. She might be settled down some of our kids. Who knows?

But anyway, don't be jealous. You've lived that life. It'll come back to her, but then we'll be old and mingham and rank. But it'll come back. I'm aging out of fine wine, me. Well, good for you. He was really going for it,

and we ended up in the poodle position. Oh, I hate the word doggy. Oh, fuck you. Oh, God. Fuck you. You've unintended. and you just give us the egg. You've unintentionally irritated both of were hugely.

The pood. Don't call it the doggy. It was poodle style. Sorry what? Poodle style. Sorry what? I don't like the word doggy. But do you mean doggy?

Yes, I do. Okay. I've gone soft. Listen, there's a world. It's fine. It's a world for everyone. Poodle position. Okay.

We love you really, but stop it. Thank you. Don't take offense. I suddenly started to feel him slow down. So called his name. He was still giving the odd lackluster throat. but didn't answer. So I turned around to find him on his phone

ordering trainers. Do you think it's because you said poodle position? Why is it so upset that it's trainers? Yes, she's said poodle and you've put him off and he's gone and done a bit of online shopman. I don't know why it's so upset that his trainers. I'm thinking maybe because he can say his feet. Well, it says they were limited edition,

so apparently that was okay. So he'd had a notification, right? So it's on some kind of list. What are people doing on their feet? phones during sex? Right. So since the one where the guy opened an envelope, I've got a theory about this. Right. I think it's like a, like a fucking Wolf of Wall Street American psycho kind of you're giving us a blow job and I'm just doing me admin. Oh God. I think it's a power thing. I think it's like, yeah, I'm just on my phone while I'm doing this. It's what I do. Like I think it's

that. But he might just be enough to do train ahead, be really excited. He's had an, I think. thing through to pay yeasies or something and he's had an email from the thing scene and he's got to quickly go on and get him. I think he's an asshole. I think he's one of those lads who are just morons and they never grow up and they think they're lush from when you're very young and sometimes weren't very nice to me throughout the years. So I hate them. Here it comes. That's him. That's him. That's him. That's him. I can see him. Okay. So, I think I know him. Question. Question. Would you rather, you're in this, is that this is you, Poodle position, right?

Would you rather... It's me and you, right? This is me and you? Yeah. Okay. What? You would never do that. All right, okay, so we're just dating.

It's near the beginning, right? We've done this. We've come home. I've had an alert on my phone. We're having sex, poodle position. I've had an alert on my phone about these new trainers. I've been going on about them all day. I'm dead excited for them.

I've had the alert. Do you want me to quickly try and order them while having sex and not interrupt you? Or do you want me to go, sorry, we're going to have to stop them trainers have just come in, stock. Either way, I would have dumped you. Right, there we go. So, it's a lose-lose situation. I'm telling you right now, you ignore your phone.

Yep. Or you lose the girl that you're currently inside of. It's disgusting. It's vile. It's vile. No. He might have sex with them trainers when he got them, so I hope he did. He wins. And I hope he got an infection on his little horrible chode. Chaudy dick.

Athletes dick. I just think it's an arrogant vile Like yeah like you see it It's a power thing It's a total power thing And it's just moronic and disgusting And the knee therapy Oh there it is

And you can walk with the therapists In his brand new trainers Yeah Babadoo babadoo babadoo babadoo babu ba Thank you so much for listening and watching Don't forget to subscribe if you are on YouTube And I just want to apologise If I have been a real like a proper miserable cow

But you know what We do this weekly Yeah This is our real life This is us, behind the scenes. And, yeah, I'm sorry. That's okay. And I'll forgive you.

And I'll be great next week. Yeah. I will. I'll be back. Yeah, it'll be fantastic. You know what? You've been all right. It's actually nice.

A bit screaming, bit of anger. You know, it's nice of people. I feel better. Yeah. It's really cheered as up. Well, good. Well, that's good. There's a little smile.

Fantastic. Guys, as always, if you like, getting touched, shag, my own at gmail. Gmail.com. The WhatsApp number, which I will learn is on our Instagram's. Send us your beef, send us your questions.

send us whatever you want. It's genuinely lovely to hear from you. And we'll be back in New Year's next week. Bye. Bye.