Sh**ged Married Annoyed - The reverse ick, a lost moon cup and why Rosie's alright for a safari

Episode Date: February 13, 2026

On the podcast this week the Ramsey's discuss reverse icks, safaris, adult panto why, in a social media age, we should be looking out for the boomers! Chris shares a new feeling, things get heated over packed lunches and QFTP's involve a missing moon cup, a DNA cocktail and Grandparents keyboard. If you want to get involved and have your stories and voice notes included on the podcast then get in touch! 📧: [e-mail] 📱: 07874 406650 You can watch the podcast on the Shagged Married Annoyed YouTube channel: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠youtube.com/@shagged.married.annoyed⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Coming up on this week's episode of Shagmarydenoid. We talk about the news. Not really, just a little bit. I delve into something that I've called the reverse ick. You need to come up with a better name than that. Well, I've been busy this week. All right. We talk about safaris in depth.

In depth. You love a safari. You would love a safari. We talk about dinner choices and pack lunch. Moon Cups. Moon Cups are an interesting topic of conversations. Finally, we're tackling the Moon Cup. And we hear about a couple who brought a blender

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also known as the procrastination podcast. Yes. Because we get nothing done. Fuck all done. Hello, by the way, you might be watching this on YouTube as well. If you are watching, I have got me tan on. Yes.

And I haven't got any... And it's been on too long, apparently? It's been on far too long. Okay. So you'll be like overproved. I'm going to look like a mulelew date. All right, okay. It's like Paul Hollywood would go,

this is overproved or this has been... This has been in too long. Yes, basically. You know a soggy bottom? Not a soggy bottom. Oh, speaking of soggy bottoms, I'm going to the adult pantomime. Yes.

So there'll be a lot of, there'll be a lot of bottoms there. There'll be a lot of innuendo. Bottomers. Yes. Gays. Yeah, yeah. I'm topas.

The top as the bottoms and all in between. The ones I just do it in the thigh because there's all like stuff going at the bum. I didn't know about that until recently. What's the thing? Oh, do you know about this? Oh, yeah, yeah. Hang on, do it?

Like a sofa? No, no, yeah, yeah, like the gap in a couch. Yeah, yeah. Like I've said, men will just fuck a crevice. It'll just fuck a crevice. Hang on, so this is a thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they don't like, you know,

hey, look, I don't like anyone going anywhere in here, my bottom, man, I'm very, very touchy about me. There's a lot of gay men who don't. So you're not alone, I have. So it's just, yeah, like, the thigh. Just put your legs together and just get in the thigh. Don't know what the guy who's closing his thighs is getting from that. I know the other one's getting, you know.

What's like a hand job? Yeah. But I, do you know what I'll like? What? Right. When you put us, well, I think I've told it all this before,

when you put a suppository in. It's quite a nice little feeling. See, so you might. Listen. It's like your bum goes, no, don't want it, don't want it, don't want it, go on there.

I quite like it. Suck it up. Yeah, yeah, and you go, what's it in? And you caught, there's a moment where you go, I said, push it back hours. I got back in,

oh, it's gone in. Quite nice. Well, did you enjoy when I brought suppositories in your life? Yeah. You've never had one, had you? Pretty cool.

So, yeah, but you've got the, you know, you've got the ones that, you know, loosen you up. Sorry, it gets so disgusting, so early on. You've got the ones that loosen you up for you. What are they called? The glycerin ones. Glissor and suppository. They're pretty, yeah, like a little jacuzzi up.

Epic. Yeah, they're pretty good. But then sometimes, you know, if you've been pushing a bit harder, or whatever, you need a little on your soul. I want them up. Mm-hmm. I currently take three creatine tablets a day, and they are so big,

my mate said, are you sure they're not suppositaries? The fucking massive. What is creatine? What does it do? I have sent you so many. I've just spat everywhere there. I'm so angry.

I've sent you so many bits of information on creatine and why you should take creatine. And I can't believe you don't. Well, I haven't retained any of the information. Right. Well, they're all in your fucking inbox. I know, but I don't like all this bullshit.

All this fucking bullshit. All of everything on social media. I'm having a social media break, by the way, because I'm just sick of the bullshit. Yeah. I'm sick of that. I'm sick of, up your creatine. You must lift your weights,

or you're going to fucking does not be able to do any. You can't even mow the lawn if you don't lift your weight. Use it or lose it. It's called use it or lose it. I'm not around 40, man. It's just too much. I know, I know. It's too much.

It's exhausting. Yeah. We know too much. We know too much about the world. Like, the fucking... Not a bad thing, but okay. I think it is. Do you?

Yeah. There's good news out there as well, you know? The hole in the oz-ohs-ohs-well. I'm sorry, but my algorithm. Because I'm sick. I will look at the stuff that's horrible for too long. Yeah. I had to take...

You know me TikTok? I had to change the restricted mode. I had to put restricted mode on. Yeah. And I'm nearly 40. And it's for children. Right. Okay.

Who shouldn't have TikTok by the way. I didn't know this. You had to put restricted mode on. I saw something horrendous and I couldn't unsay it. And it really ruined. It probably like upsetters. What was it? Can you tell you?

I can't tell you on here. I'll tell you. It was that bad. Oh, it was awful. It was so bad. Okay. To the point where I had to put restricted mode on. Right.

And honestly, if you let your kids have TikTok and they're under 16, then no, nah, it's so bad. It's like, bits of it are great and bits of it are so much fun, but honestly, it's horrible. I'll tell you off camera why it was. I've never had TikTok or gone on TikTok

and I take great pleasure in when someone sends me a video and I click on it and it's a TikTok thing. I've got a message back, I can't watch it, I haven't got TikTok. I feel so, I feel so important. I feel so important and special. Dick heaven. I am, what, the,

algorithms are a fucking joke. man now and then as a man now and then Instagram will go hey he has a big pair of bouncing tits and you go okay I'll glance at them for a second I'm only human and then it goes oh so you like the old titties do you? And you just it's like I might as well go on fucking

porn hub I'm like what's happened to me fucking algorithm like one you just like the titties don't not then but I know what listen I don't need to go to Instagram and look at the boobies right you've got a pair I've seen you I'll live with yours but also if you want you know

when then we know we know where things are in the internet. I don't need it on my Instagram, so many accounts I have to like block and report. I go block and report. Just the algorithm goes, okay, he doesn't like this then. But mine, titties. I don't want anyone, I don't want to

open me fucking thing and go on like search to search something for someone. One of you mates, have you seen this video and I press search? And the whole thing of search is just like, no. Well, mine's not much better. Mine's like food. Mine knows how flighty I am and how much I change my opinions on

stuff. Because literally I can like one golf video and the next six videos I say it's like, hey golf, you like golf, do you? Straight away, it knows that I just change my mind all the time. Jiu-Jitsu, depending on the day, if I've been to jih Tjitsu that day, loads of jihitsu videos. It's fucking madness. Mine just makes it sad.

Like I said, I like to know about what's going on in the world. I do. I think it's important and we're living in a, you know, democratic, what's a democracy? We live in a democratic society where we're allowed opinions for now. Yeah. And I just think,

but I just think we know too much. You don't even know about all of the bad shit all over the place all of the time. I don't think we're meant to. And actually, can I just say... Ozone layer is repairing itself, just so you know. But also, can I say... She doesn't give a fuck, but okay.

Is it? Is it actually? You should... Is this an audition for your acting? Because that is the best acting. No, is the ozone... Yeah, yeah. The other hole that was in off...

Aerosols and that. Yeah? It's going to be completely closed up in a few years. That's really... That's completely repaired itself. Hey, we did it, guys. Hey, guys.

Well, I've just... I haven't been using a hairspere much. Well, to celebrate, I've just ordered a year supply of Lynx Africa, and I'm just going to fucking, I'm straight at the sky just for lightness. We did it. What are you doing this? Listen, do you know who I think the news is really affecting? Who?

The boomers. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think they're really upset. Because they're seeing a lot more than they ever did. They've never, they haven't lived with it. We've grew up with it. Well, not as much, but like we, as younger brains have sort of had it from a bit of an earlier age.

They're just getting it now, and I think it's really upsetting them all. Yeah. I know a lot of my family are constantly just like, have you seen this? Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, it's horrible. But it's a lot because they have just blissfully, you know, do you remember the Warburton's adverts and that?

Like, just little lad on his bike around the streets and stuff. Like, back in the day, was it Warbur? What was that advert? I don't fucking know. I know, but they didn't know as much. No. Like, you know, they know loads now. And I think it really, I think it's really affecting the boomers.

I don't know what you mean. So just let's all look out for, and now he's like to slag them off. But let's look. out for the boomers because it is we're pale. Yeah, but they all got houses for like three quits, so it's hard to feel sorry for them. It's really hard to be a sorry for them.

I'm not having it. Fuck them. They can have some bad news. No, we've got to look after the boomers, right? Listen, look after whoever you want. Look after yourselves. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you so much for being here. It's an absolute pleasure. Please subscribe and like and read and all of that shit

that helps algorithms and all that bollocks. But listen, it is time for this week's lucrative. Luke the sponsor. This week's sponsor is... It's a feeling this week's sponsor. Oh! It's a feeling. Run out of shit to see.

No, no. They got in touch. The feelings, the feeling corporation got in touch. This week sponsor is the feeling of relief. Apologies I've done this before. The feeling of relief when you see someone in public

who you kind of know, but they don't see you so you don't have to have a chat with them. Oh, God, yeah. Oh, God, yeah. Oh, yes. Honestly. Oh, avoidance.

Oh, I was coming out with it. The Tesco and Sunland's got a pure gym next to it. And I was walking to my car to put the shopping in the back. And a guy, a lad who used to live on my estate growing up, who I sort of know was walking the gym. And I saw him, I thought, oh, God, I can't be asked. And he just looked at us, kind of past us, and then turned into the gym.

And I'm not joking. I opened the car boot and I was putting the stuff in. And I was giggling with glee. Oh, see, right. Okay. I was like, I didn't have to fucking talk to you. And he's a nice lad. He is a nice lad.

I just couldn't have been asked. Hey, what you doing? What you do? What you do? Oh, just done me shopping. You still, oh, God, I didn't. I didn't want it. So I'm putting something to my car and I was giggling.

I was lacking me head off. That's good. But then maybe we are a bit different because maybe I would leave that and go, oh, have I upset them? No, no. He just, well, I... No, but that's because we're different people. But no, I couldn't have upset him.

He's that much of not an acquaintance. I could not have upset him. Unless he's heard something on the podcast. I've seen something I've done online. that he hasn't liked. Right. I cannot have, I've had no interactions

with that guy. Okay, fair enough. I couldn't have upset him. It would have just been like talking to a stranger and I got away with it and I was buzzing. Fucking buzzing.

I would have liked a little hello. No. Because some people, no. Because you go hello and they go hello and then they walk awards and you go, ah, I just wanted a hello. Back!

I just wanted a hello. Get back across that road. Go on your fucking gym. That gym makes me laugh. Right. Just, it's got the big, glass and you can see them all. Yeah.

And I don't know. Just makes his laugh. Where can you see them? When I, well, sometimes I go in the lift. You go in the lift, do you? Because I'm lazy. You go in the lift?

I've got a trolley. That's a fucking escalator. I don't want to go. You've got to walk. You got walk back on yourself. Where are you parking? Nah. Fuck that.

I go in the lift. As long as there's not anybody who's like, you go in the lift and you can see the gym. I didn't know this. Yeah, you're seeing the gym. They just look really fucking sense. I tell you when I went on the 2nd of January.

And it was just heaven. Really? And I was like, guys. So, oh, I think I know what I'm going to do. I think I know what I'm going to do from now on. Because I've sometimes just got some time after I've done that. If I don't want to be back here to do this. I might just go by a big old bag of crisps and just stand at the glass and watch them.

Get a chicken, a rotissory chicken. That's a good one, isn't it? I eat a rotissary chicken just with my hands. Not with protein, that's all right. They're allowed that. Right, okay. But you know what's next door? What?

Golden Arch is heaven. I'll just go out. Get yourself. Big Mac. Stanning at a big black and we'll be good. Yeah, great. But they might come home and talk with. I'm joking.

Well done, Jim, guys. Well done. Well done. Well done. Well done, guys. We had a fight about the jingle. Jingle. We couldn't settle on a jingle. Jingle-Ding-Gong. So this is the jingle.

Jingle. We hope you like the jingle. Jingle. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, ba. Jingle! Hello and welcome back to this week's episode of Shagmranoyed. Are you going to ask us what the Adel Panto is called? Oh, what's the adult?

So, to let you behind the curtain, by the way, we're recording this a week early. Yeah. So this comes out on February 13th, but we can't record it the week early because someone starts his bloody tour at the weekend and he's busy, busy, busy, busy boy. Selfish. What's the adult pantomime that you're going to sit tonight at boulevards in Newcastle called? Pinocke. Ho.

Sorry, stop right there. Look, after the kids, on my own. tonight. Single parenting. Bath and bedtime, all on my own, because you're going to see something called Pinocchio. Yeah, well my friend Hazel's in it, I can't remember what a character that's called. She'll be busy. Oh, that sounds like, yeah, should be stowed under.

No, she's got a fully like fully blown serious job, Hazel. Yeah? For a not very serious person. She's got very serious job. All right, so this isn't a full-time job. She's doing that on the night time as well. Yeah, she's doing it as like a side hustle. All right, okay. A main job is like she goes where the dead people are. Heaven?

No. Like, she's like a coroner. Like a criminal coroner person. What the fuck? Like, so there's a really dark side of my group chat where one of my friends works at the hospital. She's a nurse. So she sees the people die. And if it's been in suspicious circumstances, she'll sometimes say, got one for you.

Motherfucker. And then he'll go, oh yeah. How do I not know this? Yeah. And so, like, they actually have quite a lot to do with each other because Claire will sort of, like, see the person in a, in a, in a suspicious circumstance, and then Hazel will deal with them. I should listen when people talk.

Really interesting. That's really interesting. Really, really interesting. I live in my own little fucking world. I had no idea. I've spoken to her so many times. Oh, yeah, it's great. I've known for years.

It's really interesting. What the hell's wrong with me? I had no idea. I know. I've got my head up my ass most of my time. What about Lauren? know, my other very new, like, cut up dead people. Just that's our life.

She does autopsies. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Right. Okay. Wow. Amazing.

Well, there we go. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo. So, we have done lots of things over the history of this podcast about icks. Yes. I love an ick. So do I. I find an ick very, very entertaining how quickly someone can be turned off.

What I'm also fascinated about, which I thought I would ask, I've got, I've done a bit research. I've got a few here. And I thought I would ask our beautiful, wonderful listeners as well if they could send some in. Right. random turn-ons that are, no, no, no, that are like, you know, like, my favourite one,

the man trying to pick up a ping-pong ball and the woman's instantly turned off by him or trying to, the receipt in the wind was even funnier than the ping-pong ball. Just random, so I remember years ago, I think it was, forgive us if I'm wrong here, if I've got this wrong, but I'm sure it was Russell Kane, the comedian Russell Kane, did some kind of BBC 3 documentary

and there was we had turn-ons in it. And the one that always sticks in my head was a girl said, if she's in a car with a guy and he's reversing and he turns and puts his arm over the passenger seat look at your face so right okay

so is that thing so you're just there you're yeah and he's like reversing like that and he turns his head and he puts his hand over the passenger seat and he looks and he reverses like that yeah right so that's a little bit of a heart

alright okay that's a bit of a little bit of a sexy thing yeah okay there's like a reverse ick it's like something someone would do that for no reason turns you onto them rather than turns you off them. Right.

So it turns you off them. This turns you on them. Ooh, okay, this is interesting. Do you understand what I mean? You got some more? I've got five that I found on the internet.

That is a good one. Yeah. So that's a really weird one, right? So another one. Throwing a tea towel over the shoulder while cooking. No, ick. Really?

That's not sexy. Someone on the internet said that this one was sexy. Yeah, I was on like BuzzFeeding loads of other different things, finding some that were not just specific, but more like, you know, more sort of general. Maybe it is.

Maybe it is. All right, let's get this too, right, let's get this past. I go on. Okay, all right, active service, yeah, I do find that sexy. Right, okay. I like active service. Right, okay, but you'll kick off when I put the tea towel over my shoulder. You've never put the tea towel over your shoulder.

I always do it. We did a hello fresh advert, and I did it in the hello fresh advert. Oh, well then maybe I just find that icky. I don't know. Depends. Okay, come on, I want another one. Shake in another cooking one. Shaking a cast iron pan about.

So, like, maybe stir frying, maybe giving it a bit of fucking, I think whoever wrote this just likes being, fed. This is just early on in a relationship because if you did that, you'd get food all over. Right. And you never wipe a bench down. So in my head, I'd go, oh yeah, fucking shake your pan, mate. But who's going to clear up that onion, not you, me, when it gets stuck on.

Right. So no. No. Sound, I don't think you like this at all. Right. Sound of fingernails scratching a short beard. Oh, God. No.

No, horrible. Why? That's not. Someone's turned on by it. This is a turn on? Someone's turned on by it. I found it online. Someone's turned on by it.

Well, I mean, we know people are turned on by all kinds. People free shit and stick back up their asses. Right, okay, no. The scratching of a beard. Return to sender. The scratching of a beard doesn't do it for me. Okay, last one, last one, right? A man slowly rolling up the sleeves of his shirt.

Yeah, nice. I got you. Yeah, okay, okay. Nice. Nice. That's nice. Okay. I can get on board with that.

Okay, so. I can get on board with that. Listen, us, if you've got any of little random, Turn-ons like that. Anything where you think you see, your fella do it or you say, it's better to come from women. I don't want to hear men's turn-ons

because it'll just be turts and funnies. No, I don't know. There might be some nice ones that men like that women do. Women are more conceptual and more like, you know, is a more,

I don't know, you think more, your feelings are more like within, what am I trying to say? With a better. Definitely not. Yeah, like your attraction's not just visual is my point with women.

It can be more like, That's why Ix, it's normally not bloke's given the X, it's women given the X. I agree. I'm trying to think what I find really sexy. Obviously, just me, just everything I do. Yeah. Just me. I'm dead old school, like, hold a door open and, oh.

Like, I don't know, just stuff like that, like good manners. That is where you've got your nickname, wasn't it? The corridor hall. Look, it's the corridor hall. The corridor hall. Leave a door open and she's. Wet floor side. I was a prefect at the bottom of the stairs.

Oh, there it is. There it is. There it is. There is. There is. awful. B block. You better watch out. Was it A block?

Oh, no one cares. Oh, great, thank you. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadu, bah. This winter, we are cheering for our home nations, but your story might stretch far beyond one flag. With ancestry DNA, you can discover all the places from your family's past. Now, up to $65 off for a limited time. Explore the cultures that shaped you across more than 36.

600 regions worldwide. More pride, more connection, more to cheer for. Start your journey with Ancestry DNA today. Sail on February 19th terms apply. Visit Ancestry.ca for more details. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bab. Now, on this podcast, sometimes, obviously, a lot of the time we argue, and in life a lot of the time we argue, you know, and we shout at each of that and we, you know, it's called shag-married, annoyed. We do get annoyed at each of that. But now and then, you say something out of nowhere

that makes me realise that I'm with the right person Oh God We were on the train What is this the fucking nice podcast Like what's going on bloody The opposite of Ix

What's happening Why is this happening Hey I'm just changing it up What have I done that's nice No no it's good You're still moaning about something You're just not moaning about me for a change I'm having a good day

So don't you even day No no No no we were sitting on the train And I don't know what you were watching You're watching something in your iPad And you just paused it And you looked at us And you went

I wrote it down You wrote it out of no way you said, you know what? I'm 100% all right for ever going on a safari, me. And I went, I'm exactly the fucking same. What is that all about? Yeah. So what I was watching is it's like a millionaire's house swap.

Okay. Where people who have got holiday homes, instead of like renting places, they swap them. Right. It was just, it was interesting. Okay. And one of them was this gorgeous house in Kenya. and they all went on a safari

and it was just like you might get eight alive today Yeah I just wouldn't think You might get eight alive and honestly there's not much that we can do about it Yeah Do you still want to go and they were like Just fully blown up for it and I was like

Nah nah nah nah no No no more money more problems Like I just think why do people put themselves In that situation I fully agree but it falls into that category Of stuff that should be Like it almost feels like If this was a section on a quiz show,

it would be 90s game show prizes that you wouldn't actually want. So imagine Bullseye when they're giving away a speedboat. You're like, what am I going to do with the fucking speedboat? You're going on a safari. Fucking don't want it made. Back in the bag, pick up something different. I'm just really scared of wild animals.

I just feel like, I feel like boring and ungrateful for saying that I wouldn't want to go on a safari, but absolutely not. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. There was one point, right? This is where my brain goes to. There was one point where the woman, the house was beautiful, right? And she said, and there was this bath, and it was in front of a glass window. And she was like, one day I was having a bath here.

And then the lion walked past. And she was like, and she was like, and I did this. And I thought, well, it's not going to know. My brain went to, have you left a door open? Yeah. Yeah. Have you left your back door open by accident? That lion's going to come in and it's going to eat you to death.

Because that's what to do. What maule you at the death? What's going to do? It's either going to eat you or it's going to moll you to death. But eat you to death is a sentence I've never heard. It's going to fucking eat you to death and it's going to enjoy every second of it. It's going to eat you to death. It's going to start at your feet and it's going to eat all the way up from your feet. And you'll be lovely and clean because you're just out of your bath.

But I just thought, how do you sit there in a bath and see you lying out? Don't get me wrong. It must be like amazing. But I'd be like, everybody get in here! Yeah. Our kids would have absolutely left it back to all. Our kids would be dead within five minutes. No, they would.

Rob would be like, oh, I'm going to go through this trick. down here and you just fucking get... Can I pet that dog? Can I pet that dog? Ha! Ha! Ha! ha! Ha! Ha! The word? Honestly, they'll be... Aet the death.

All of them. And that's just not... What the don't show you... Terrified? What the don't show you on, whenever someone's on a safari and they show you, they just don't show you the amount of fucking flies and shit that are trying to eat you in the air that you can't even see. It's the wild? Boiling fucking hot. Forget it. Absolutely forget it.

I'm also 100% right for scuba diving. They all had to go at the toilet at one point. Uh-huh. And they were like, just go over. there and just like be quick and it's like oh right because if you go for a piss and like if they're just around you're gonna die

for a piss? Yeah I'll just piss myself. Sorry Safari guys no don't have don't ever surprise me with a safari don't want to go no no no time how do you feel about scuba diving? Exactly the same yeah I'm the same I'm the same oh do you want to get in this shark tank oh have you fucking seen

George you're psycho no do not but I'm the same trying to jump out of this plane no I have done that and I did enjoy that stupid I just

yeah what's that song but some ways to die nope no thank you I'll take me I'll fucking take me risk with getting it by a bus

that's enough for me oh wow yeah no again anything that you think anything if you're listening and you think

you've offered something like that and you thought you should be grateful and you didn't fancy it send it in send it we might be the minority

because some people might be like There be people listening to go, you, I'm very aware that there'll be people listening to go and you boring pair of dickheads.

Like, that would be amazing. You're so narrow-minded, blah, blah, blah. I'm just, I'm just scared. All right. Sorry, I'm scared of lions and tigers.

Oh, what? You're scared of lions? Yeah, no, I'm terrified of, terrified of them. Yeah. All right, listen, Jurassic World,

where they roll around and then big hamster balls, okay, might be up for that. If I could roll around and a big massive hamster up, but then it breaks, in it?

And they can't. Oh, would you go to Jurassic Park with the made Jurassic Park. No, I fucking would not. Right, okay. You very nearly didn't get us to Disney. I'm not going to fucking Jurassic Park. No, thank you.

No, I'm not. No, I hate rides. So I think the more, I think, in our defence, sorry, I'm good, right. In our defence, we did go on a little kind of mini safari thing at Longleet. Right. Which, you're in your car and you get driven round.

And we were so lucky, because you did strictly with Emma, who owns Longleet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she did us a VIP Safari, and it was amazing. So, but we were in a closed car, right? And the lion still wanted to fucking have Robin's head off. We, you've got to go through the gates. So the gates, like, lock behind you.

And then you're in a section. And then you've got to go, once that one's shut and locked, there's like a noise, you go through the next one. Like an airlock, but not a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, it's actually. One compound shuts, which leads into a space in between to open the next compound, so they can't make it.

Very safe. Yeah. Robin needed away. He was literally about six, five or six. they had a Port-A-Loo and there was a cheetah on the other side. Do you remember? I do. I swear to God, that cheetah just wanted to eat Robin.

Everything wanted to eat Robin. The lions, they were going to this bit and they were like, oh, they don't normally do this. They were like, oh yeah, because it's just a little fucking kid they want to eat. And the lions were like this up to the car and I was going to. Nah. It was really, really worried. When that cheetah, we got out, we'd go in the toilet and it was just a chain link fence

and this cheetah, I don't know if I've mentioned on here before, but this cheetah was just sprinting back and forward. but not taking its eyes off him. Yeah, it didn't look at us. Its head stayed perfectly still looking at him in its body and it was just sprinting back and forwards. It was like... I'll never forget that.

Ladd's, lads! Yeah. Fucking Buffy is open! It was, and I should remember thinking if that got out and went for him, there was nothing I'd be able to do, yeah? But why was it just, Robin? Because he was little.

Right. Because he was little. It sees big people all the day. They keep us in the, you know, but when it sees this little fucking thing and goes, oh, I got absolutely one mouth full there, a little canopy. Oh, Jesus Christ.

It was horrible. Terrifying. So no, I'm absolutely fine for a safari. No, thank you. Fair enough. No, thank you. Cancel the free safari, everyone. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo.

It's time for, what's your bee? What's your beef? A little, little. Beef, beef, beef. Ladies first. My beef with you is that you will never go on a safari with me. No, listen, this week's beef is something that I think everybody who gets annoyed with someone who does this will relate to this.

and I think I've done it a long, long time ago, but you still do it and you've got worse for doing it. I don't know whether that's because I'm nasty half. Doesn't sound like me at all. Stop saying you choose. Make a decision. Okay. I know you're trying to be nice,

and I know you're trying to give me the choice. But by trying to give me the choice, puts more pressure on me, you just give us a decision. What's the noise we're talking about here? Where do you want to eat tonight? Right. Right, we're in London.

Where do you want to eat? You choose. Where do you? No, but what? is your input to this. I would like to go here, here, here. Where would you like to go? Pizza. Always pizza.

I don't like pizza. Oh! Well, you fucking choose. Oh, see. See? Do you understand? You wouldn't eat pizza every day. So you would have went to pizza, a pizza restaurant in London.

100% went on pizza place. 100% every single time. It's always me go to. Pizza or curry, always. Pizza or curry, or five guys if it's about. What about sushi? You choose. Italian.

You choose. There it is. Talia does pizza. Huh? Just an opinion? Well, well, I'll see that then. You just say nothing? All right.

Well, just assume that every time it's pizza. Right, great. All right. Fucking Donatello. I know what you mean. It's the worst. It's the worst food. It's the most boring

fucking bread tomorrow and cheese. You're having a sandwich? You're just having a fucking sandwich? Shit. Sorry, pizza is shit. I will die on this hill. Nah, pizza's amazing. I'll eat it.

I will eat this. Yeah, you will. Yeah, you will. But like, no, nah, it wouldn't be me going to. Oh my God, pizza at night. It's the absolute best. I love pizza so much. Did you tell the teachers about the beans packed lunches today or not?

Nah. Oh, fucks. Not, which brings me on to my beef. My beef with you is, I was walking up this morning by both of our children claiming... People are going to think this is a fix. No, no. Mams let us have a pack lunch now, by the way. mom's letting them have a pack lunch

which will very, very quickly translate to Chris, I'm too busy this morning I've got to do this, I've got to do that Can you do the pack lunches? No, I told them, I told them that could have it for one day a week And I told you, I said to them In fairness, I told them both straight this morning

I said I will never make that pack lunch for you Yeah, which was an awful thing to say Listen, you're just adding a load more shit to an already manic morning A manic ridiculous morning. I know, all right, okay, but Rave literally eats a cheese sandwich at school every day. Yeah.

And I just thought, well, I could make them. Tell everyone what you made him. What did you take him in for his pat lunch to give him a bit of variety from them cheese sandwiches eat at school? What was it that you, what was it you gave him? What was it you made? Tell everyone. Cheese sandwich.

No, I know, but okay. And he had raisins and an orange and a saurine and some mini-chedd. But at school, I think you just get a cheese sandwich and some crisps. So it was just to give them some fruit and stuff. Well, I did not. I will give you five English pounds. I will give you five English pounds. If when we open his pack lunch when he gets back,

if that orange is eaten, I'll give you a five pound. He better. If he hasn't, he hasn't, then he's getting told. No chance. Oh, I just, you know what it is? Oh, no, you had packed lunch as a kid. I didn't have packed lunch. I wanted it, but I honestly don't think my mom could afford it.

Right, okay. You were on free dinners, weren't you? I was on free dinners for a bit. But not even then, I just think sometimes, when we were younger, do you not remember? I think snacks in that were a lot more expensive than they are now. There wasn't as much choice.

Right, okay. Maybe that's the thing. There wasn't as much choice when we were younger. Literally, when were your kids, if you wanted... To be healthy snacks. Oh, healthy snacks were absolutely nothing, but if you wanted a biscuit, a chocolate biscuit,

it was in your pat lunch, if it wasn't a trio, a breakaway, a penguin or a kid cat, or maybe a blue riband, that was it. Yeah. It's fucking millions. Blue riband, blue riband? Blue riband?

Is that what they call? A blue ribband? Blue ribbon. What, you call it? A blue ribband? A blue ribband? Is it not ribband? Is it not ribband? Is it not ribid?

Is it blue ribbon? I've always called the blue ribbons. I mean, they're fucking minging. Oh, I love a blue riband. Oh, you're kidding us aren't you? I like a blue riband. It's like someone wrapped sand in some chocolate. Oh no, it's like a wayfair.

It's the driest fucking thing in the world. Once you get through the chocolate, it's like, Oh, I'll have one of them. A blue riband. Or a caramel rocky rocky. A rocky robin. You're Robin. Caramel Rocky Robin. You can bite all the sides off them, you now.

I think they're still about. Oh, java cake for me like every day. Trio, you can't get trios anymore. Trio, true is what, unbelievable. Anyway, I'll never meet the pat lunch and that's it. I'm not doing it. I'll refuse to do it. The one day that we're like, I'm sorry, excuse me.

Get out of your own fucking way. You're gonna have to? No, because you put this on. No, you can't. Because you've gone, okay kids, I'll do you a pack lunch one day a week, which will turn to Chris do them and pat lunch this day. And I go, I didn't agree to do the pat lunch.

We had a system. the system was sorted. You know? Well, I've changed the system and you're just going to have to go along with it. Hey, kids, I'm going to fold you every morning. I'm going to fold you a little origami crane to take the school.

Oh, I can't do it this morning, Rosie. Will you quickly fold them an origami crane to take the school each? Right. You're fucking stupid. I picked something really specific. Because if they don't get the origami crane are they going to pass out.

No, if they don't eat the dinner, they might faint. You got to take your origami cranes. and it brings you for fortune, brings you a good fortune. You can't, what a dickhead. You honestly, listen to yourself. I just, listen to yourself, I'm not going to make you any dinner. You've just added more work.

But they're nice kids. They're all right. They're good kids and they deserve a pack lunch one day a week and I'm telling them the can. We are, we are quite, I think we're quite strict. Honestly, we are listeners and we are quite strict parents and the kids don't get away with much. and I just thought you know what it is like they're good kids Robin just wanted to have a pack of lunch once a week

and Rafe annoyingly Rafe eats the fish and chips on a Friday but Robin hates fish and chips so he wanted it on a Friday and I said to Raif please have yours on Monday but he wouldn't so we'll cross that bridge from a company with but we didn't tell the school so I don't know what the school said

they've just turned up with some dinner and they're like, well do you have a dinner told me two dinners I thought you'd spoke to them Oh, dear that. Again, you caught. I mean, well, no. So again, do you hear what's happening, everyone?

She decided to do it, and then I'm supposed to speak to the school about it as well. Does you drop them off? But it wasn't my fucking idea. It was pissing down my rain when I dropped them off as well. Well, well, anyway, if they say anything, Robin did say, no, you can just turn up with a pack lunch. Which you absolutely can't. It's chaos. It's fine.

It's fine. You've done. No, I don't know. One deal. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bab. It's time for questions from the public. Questions from the public. Public. As always, if you don't get in touch, it is shagged, Marriedenoid at gmail.com.

And the phone number for the WhatsApp to send your voice notes is on your podcast app. It's on the description for this podcast. The lack of, put it in your notes. Copy and paste it in your notes. I can't copy and paste it in my brain, though, can I? A lack of professionalism. There's a 400 in it somewhere. We went to a really important thing with advertising and everything the other day.

And you can't even remember. the fucking number. Right. This is from our lovely listeners. And before you listen to this, I don't think you would do this for me. Right. But I don't know.

Maybe you would. Ready? Just seeing on Rosie's Instagram that she's bought a Moon Cup, thought she'd share this funny story that my friend shared with me. She bought one on her sister's recommendation and it got stuck and her husband had to remove her

while wearing a headlamp. Why was it funny of that? it was a Scouse accent. While wearing a headlamp. Fucking great. Thank you. Would you? Would you...

Would you... Would you... Would you... Would you... Would you... My... ...for my period? Yes, but why?

Because I don't like tampons. Okay. Sometimes if you put them in dry and you take them out dry. Okay. So just finding one who doesn't know, including me, a moon cup is... It's just...

Well, I've never used it before. Right. It's like a little plastic little thing like that. Like a little filter thing. a spout but then you fold it up you put it in and it opens and it sucks the blood

so you just take it out and you pour your blood down that's a lot to get out it's not as much as you think you know period's only three tablespoons of blood apparently oh mine's a bit mine's a bit more than that

and a couple of clots um but no I just thought I try it okay because tambons are just a bit intense and some you know I hate about tampons, right? If you put a tampon in and then you go for a wee, that tampon's not good. Really?

I, like, I don't know whether, when I was young, before children, right, and I didn't even have children vaginally, right, they came out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I could have a tampon in and my wee wouldn't affect a tampon, but now, I don't know what's happened down there. It's just, if I have a wee, that tampon's wet, and it's like, and what happens. There's been some kind of knock through. There's been some sort of internal damage.

Someone's opened up the space. Moving through. the space. Well, yeah, George's been down there. And then what happens is, the tambon gets urine in it, and it just gets bigger.

And it starts, like, falling out. But they're falling out, it feels like a pull, and it's so uncomfortable. And it's just, yeah, so I just thought,

you know what, I'm going to try a moon cup. And he got it out with the headlamp. What a guy. But that's me. Now I'm, like, worried that it's going to get, I don't think it does get stuck up there.

I just feel like, if I just, if yours is stuck, if I just get you to sit down on something so, like, you just, like, see your bum's covered, your bum holes covered, and sit, like, on the edge of a chair, like, vagina out. And then if I, like, shut your mouth and plug your nose and plug one ear and if I just blow in the other ear,

I think it'll fly out. I think that's how, I think that's how biology works. I think if I plug all the other holes and just blow really hard on one of your ears, the wound cup will just pop out of the bottom. You know, like, when a kid gets popcorn, it's not how life works. It's got, no.

No. No. Do you think just air goes down there? I just think he's just one big long pipe. I'm totally talking. Question is. Question on everyone's lips. Not them lips.

Yeah, great. Oh, by the way, I made a joke about a tight vagina at that thing that day. Nobody heard. Sorry, I didn't get that. Did you? What was the joke? The guy, the MD of audio boom,

he said, Oh, we're a bit tight for us. time. Uh-huh. No, it didn't even say for time he just went, oh, we're just a bit tight and I went so man. In the mic, nobody heard. I was good.

People are trying to advertise on the podcast on that? It was half nine in the morning. But yeah, tough crowd. Listen, would you retrieve, you would actually. No. Yes, you would. No, not if it's, no. Is there going to be a load of blood in there?

Trapped inside. Absolutely no chance. Choosing what size to get was interesting. Right, okay. Yeah, a lot of questions. Right, okay. Ready to buy them. Mooncup shop.

Tesco? Mooncup. Wrong company. Two companies merged together. Not the right. No, totally different. One's for cards. One's for Cups.

The questions were fun. Okay. It was like, there's A and B, and it's how many children you, no, like, how have you had your children, cesarean or vaginally? How old? How old you are?

And you have to like, it's like a little survey. Right, okay. So I'm B, I think. Or A, I've got them. Brilliant. What would you be? What would you be?

Are you ready? Let's see what Moon Cup are you? Oh, 39, and I had both of my children inally. Have I given birth? No. So you haven't given birth? I haven't given birth. Under 30, no, 30 plus years.

You're an A. You're an A size. Have I given birth? Yes, by Caesarian, and I'm 30 plus years. So I'm also A. We're both A's? Oh, my God. Congratulations.

It's just meant to be, isn't it? God, we're so alike in so many ways. God. Message in if you're the same moon cup size as your wife. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, ba. Whether it's with your besties or date night, get to all the hottest concerts with Go Transit. Go connects to all the biggest entertainment venues

and makes it affordable with special e-ticket fares. A weekend pass offers unlimited travel across the network on any weekend day or holiday for just $10. A weekday group pass offers the same weekday travel flexibility from $30 for two people up to $60 for $5. So no matter what day of the week, Go's got you covered. Find out more at go-transit.com slash tickets.

Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babo, do. Oh, this is a bit disgusting. Great. Ready. Hi, Chris and Rosie. I just listened to the episode about the guy who liked to eat sick and it sparked a memory for me

from when I used to work abroad in Ibiza. I worked in a very famous bar over there. whenever it was one of the bar staff or the DG's birthday, we would do a drink called a D&E. Now, it could be a Rosie's mystery of what you put into the DNA, but it's pretty self-explanatory. The pint glass was filled with a cocktail and then passed around every member of staff

to put a piece of their DNA into this glass. And you can imagine what the guys were put. in there pretty much nothing was off limits and then the lucky birthday person had to stand on the bar and down it in front of a bar full of people now fortunately my birthday's in December so the summer season um never fell in my birthday so i got away with it but the poor guys who had a birthday anything from me through to september had to drink dna in front of a bar full of people with everybody's um everything. Like people vomit into it, spitting it,

pubes. I knew she can say pubs. That's the worst bit. That's the worst bit. Oh, says. Wow. That's the worst bit. So the worst bit is people putting solids in there. For me, that's the worst bit. Hays in there. I would have genuinely told people it wasn't my birthday and fucking ate me passport if they wanted to say it.

Like literally ate it and swam home. I would rather walk, I would rather walk home from Abitha to Newcastle, then drink a fucking pint with someone's puberty. You don't have to drink it. Well, yeah, but it's like, come on, man, you fuck me, Fanny. Yeah, no, that's, that,

that is, that would upset me so much. I'll go home. Pierre pressure is a sad thing, isn't it? Right. I burnt my hand, I'd literally scoured myself for life through peer pressure. Yeah, you've got a little light that thing on there, you're scumbag.

Honestly, in the cocktail, I think I could be okay with and I'm pissed at this point so I'm pissed Oh my God are you going there Yeah yeah yeah So I'm at the bar It's my birthday

I'm all my world best mates right The Summer of Love I'm on the bar There's no way There's nothing that you would drink on There's nothing What? No

What? Piss? Nah I wouldn't be okay with piss I wouldn't be okay with sick Definitely not spit Not spunk Not hair

No I wouldn't I wouldn't be able to do it No I don't think you should When I'm I'd be all right with tears. And they'd be mine. Magical property is tears, you'd be fine.

That's fucking, that's made me so sad. It's disgusting. At Pontins we used to do something like that. But it would be, it wouldn't be anything from like people. It would be loads of different drinks. And then some people would have like baby formula. They'd put like milk in there. And then you put like kids like slush in there.

And then what they would have to do is they would have to drink it, put a sock over. and then drink it through a sock. Horrible. Awful, but that's... I'll tell you, I had a mate who used to drink pines of piss all the time. It was like his party trick.

Who? It was just... I don't know to see his name on here, but when we'll go out and... I don't think any... They're not any friends now, is it? Don't know about them anymore, no. But it would like...

Normally it was a half, but you could take one and you could put it in... On handle his piss, can I'm... It's a piss lightweight. You put it in the trough, in like the urinal trough

in the nightclub or a bar, whatever. You just put the half... The half glass in. fucking looting. We've done a question about this? Everyone would fill it up. Everyone would fill it up

and then you'd go, here mate, you go, you normally do it for a tenor or something and you'd go there. It's something I'd literally forgot until this and you would do it like,

you would get them in. But thankfully, this was, no one had camera phones. I'm sorry. I was 17, but people had camera phones or barely,

you know, you can't send stuff the way you can now. Sometimes people had a camera phone and you couldn't send it. Horrible. Yeah, you used to do it. That's disgusting.

Yeah, yeah. Strange has piss as well. It's like a mixture of just all the piss on the night. Oh, stop it. The cup was just there. It was just there. Yeah, horrible.

Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadu, back. Hello. Hiya. Please keep me anonymous, just cause. Okay. Okay. I'm walking back from the gym, listening to the podcast,

and the WhatsApp voice notes people have been sending in of their thoughts have reminded me of a bit of an unsettling memory. Oh, brilliant. A couple of years ago around Christmas time,

my mum asked me to put my late granddad's keyboard on Facebook marketplace. My grandma had tried to sell it for a while, So we said we would try. Okay. Take it out of hands. It was my granddad's pride and joy, so it holds some lovely memories from my childhood.

Oh. Nice. All the first few days, it didn't get much interest. Sorry, it's a musical keyboard. It's a keyboard. Like music? Not like a computer keyboard. No, like a piano.

Right, because some great memories. Remember them emails he used to send? I do remember the email. We'll learn a touch type. No, it's like a... Yeah, okay, I get you. I get you. Yeah, doing all that.

Yeah, yeah. He used to send all your letters on that, didn't you? I did, used to send all me letters. Right, go on them. Are you ready? I'm finished, I'm done. Yeah, good. Over the first few days, it didn't get much interest

until one man responded to the listing, asking questions about price and pick-up, etc. I was delighted that I might have finally done this for my grandma. We went over details for a while and thought it was a done deal. Then he randomly sent a voice-in-word. Right. you're loving it. Because I've read all these.

He randomly sent a voice note and you guessed it. It was a long, loud, high-pitched barn. I didn't guess that. I didn't guess that at all. Why would I guess that? Because he said, he's a menace. He's a menace.

He's a menace. What's this keyboard? Yeah, well, yeah, good, good, yes, it's got a, it's got the power adapter. Yeah, has it got that function where you can put a in the background, yeah, it's got all that. Good stuff, yeah, oh, pick it up, yeah, yeah, 100 quid, yeah, definitely. Right, pick it up seven, yeah, right, okay, you know about that. So cruel. So, over the, so he sent this part, over the sale of my poor dead grandparents' keyboard.

So he had no intention of buying it. He strung them along just so we could send them a fart. He's horrible. He's a fucking animal. Isn't that sick? That's sick. He's a murderer. Right.

So I think we've all learned the hard way. Don't give strangers the ability to send your voice on. I think that's so cruel. It's so funny. A dead granddad's keyboard. Oh God. He's like, yeah, I'll come pick. Why not just, but why is the fault not just the first thing?

Because he obviously just wanted a bit of interaction. and then get the hopes up and he's like, fuck you. Horrible. I hear them. That's fucking menace. Oh, I am I, honestly, am I taking up as a hobby?

Just, just get me sell a burner phone. Sleepy in? Just the burner phone and just sent people. Just string them right along until the moment. I'll be there in half an hour. What dawn is it again? I'm outside. Ah, see, I didn't even.

leave me house. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, bah. Hi, Rosie and Chris, I'll keep it short. I was with some of my girlfriends last night and randomly got into the conversation about what our partners call us and what we call our husbands. There was the usual babe, babes love

and obviously just shortened versions of our actual names. My name's Hannah and my husband calls me Han. My friend then explained to us that she doesn't call her husband Babe Hun. She doesn't even call him by his name. She doesn't call him by anything. Yep.

He is Mr. No Name. If she's downstairs and he's upstairs, instead of just shouting, babe, or his name up the stairs to get his attention, she will walk up the stairs and just start talking to him. They've been together for six years and have two kids. I'm so intrigued to hear what you think about this. That's really...

Buns are steel. That's what I think. She's getting some leg working. Because I'm sorry, if you think I'm going up. stairs every time I need to talk to you. Oh, you shout me. You and the kids, you and the kids shout at me

the minute I leave the room. The minute I'll be in a room. Right, okay, well, I'll tell you what, listen, listen, Chris, Dad! The next time you, because you get very upset about this, the next time you get upset about this, shut your eyes, we're all dead.

Still upset? She's got an direction. Out. It's because of the worst thing I could possibly say. So should, not babe, not, no, doesn't call him anything. Nothing.

Just, she'll just like, I need to speak to him. I put down everything I'm doing and I'll go and see him. I can't. I can't. I, that, I wouldn't get on with her. That, to me, sounds like the most difficult thing ever. I can't get my head around that. It's probably a very peaceful house, to be honest.

Yeah. It's probably very nice house. The kid probably does a lot of colouring. Yeah. Not toxic at all. Not a bother. There's not an iPad in sight. No.

No. They have three hours of quiet time before. Everyone's got a moon cup in. Oh God, yeah. Moon cups galore. Whole house is one big moon cup. This is the makers of Moon Cup. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And also, you know, each to the road, listen, but we're shouting. If you told me, starting tomorrow, you're not allowed to shout, Rosie, or Rose, or babe, you've just got to walk up to where she is, tap her on the shoulder and start talking. Yeah. Speaking of loud houses, right? Yeah. I've just remembered. I recorded this this morning of the kids and I nearly sent it to you

It's not a fart I was upstairs getting ready Well I nearly sent it to you See and no wonder I could hear it through the fucking floor Yeah No wonder my cortisol is through the fucking roof right This is our children

You want to make these couple of tossers A pack lunch Are you mad? This is 5 to 8 this morning Do a flip He's saying do a flip I hate you I hate you

Sorry but you're the one fighting Right Bit his lip Tongue Tongue, bit his tongue even. You want to give them two tossers a pack lunch. I know, but they're loud because we're loud

it's fine, but it's just intense in it anyway. It's a lot. Do you know, I'd hear them through the floor. Do you know what? The fear I have, it's really, I don't know if everyone else gets this. If I'm, so I was taking them school, so I went up to get ready.

I knew we were doing the podcast as well, so I was like, well, I'll get me shower now so I'm ready for the day. And I'm getting ready, and I can just hear carnage and shouting and screaming. I don't know if I'm, going to come down and get bollocked it's really we I don't have to come back sometimes because you can be so stressed out you like the been a nightmare and you

just like give them to me and I get bollicked as well it's terrifying terrifying way to live very dramatic really scary I've done what I'm walking into honestly this morning I need to consider I just walking out the front door and just going to sit in the car waiting and texting you go I'm in the car send them out when they're ready do it there was so much noise well because sometimes I just let them be loud I just let them be loud to get it all out the system as I don't let them put music on in the car, you know, on the way to school. I say, no, we're having a bit of quiet time

because he's been fucking absolutely berserk in that house. Eh, well, but they get it from us. We've got no one to blame but ourselves. Babadoo, babadoo, babadu, babadu, bah. Hi, guys. Hi. I was just listening to the latest, please keep me in on this episode,

with Joel Dummy talking about placentes. And it unlocked a memory I thought you'd enjoy. I love placenta chat. Brilliant. Sorry, selfishly, if you don't, it's just because I quite find it interesting. That's fine. You know, yeah.

It is interesting. Yeah. Please keep me anonymous. I'm a midwife, and despite how it might sound, it's actually not uncommon for people who want to see or keep their placenters. In some cultures, they're buried in the garden as a way of connecting the baby to the earth, honouring its life-giving role in marking the birth. More commonly now, placentas are kept by being collected by specialist companies

who extracts stem cells from the cord and membranes, which could potentially help the child in the future if they needed stem cell treatment for conditions such as leukemia, etc. Wow, that's amazing. So that's really interesting. isn't it? And if somebody offered it me and were like

take this in town I would have like just never offered but anyway onto my story back when I was a student midwife I was working on the birth centre

with my mentor we just supported a first time mum through a beautiful water birth on I wanted one of them afterwards we helped her out the pool and onto the bed

to deliver her placenta as it comes out second once the placenta was delivered and baby was feeding my mentor and I inspected it in the room as we have to

as we have to make sure it's complete. When we finished, my mentor asked me to get the clinical waste bag so it could go to the sluice, which is always a monkey word. At this point, the dad stopped us and asked if we could not take it away as they wanted to keep it.

No problem at all, fairly standard. We said we'd put it into a plastic tub for them to take home. However, his next request was less standard. He asked if, before we put it away, we could cut a small piece of it. My mentor replied, sorry, you'd like me to cut a piece off the placenta.

Yes, he said, before walking over to a suitcase, unzipping it and pulling out a small freezer bag of frozen fruit and a blender. Wow. She'd like a post-birth smoothie, he explained. While the mum nodded and said, yes, I want to replenish from it. It's that cannibalism, isn't it? I mean... You're eating a bit of you. Anyway. It's like...

Each of their own. But, listen. It's the preparation that I'm... You're going to hate the meat. even more. But it's just, can I just, just for a more, just, right, you've got the override bag, yeah, right, you've got the,

you've got the change of clothes, you've got the pyjamas, you got the socks, you got the blender, you got the frozen fruit, like, what the f... But listen, listen to this. If they water it down, with piss, I am going to flip this fucking table. No, there's no piss, okay, there's no piss. Okay, sorry, sorry.

My mentor and I were slightly stunned, but obliged. It was her percenter after all, it is. And she didn't need our permission. That said, we did promptly leave the room as neither of us could stomach watching her drink a freshly blended placenta smoothie. P.S. Despite remembering

to pack a blender and a frozen fruit for the birth, they forgot the baby's car seat. Fucking cocks. Yeah, that sums it up. That fucking sums it up. Yeah. Oh, need this. Replenish. It's good for you. Yeah. Oh, just put them on your fucking knee

while you drive home in the motorway. Because, yeah, you know, as long as you get goodness in you, that'll stop you getting hit by a fucking lorry. knobs. I knew you'd hate this. Yeah, it's something so... I knew you did. So, listen...

Hypocritical and fucking hypocritical and short-sighted. So, mum and baby had to stay in overnight until Dad could go home and fetch it. Twat, that he is. But he remembered the blender. Oh, yeah, he's got his blender, yeah. Yeah, you're right.

You know me so well. That has made me hate him so much. Yeah. Mad, in it? Yeah. I bet he turns up on holiday with... I bet he turns up on holiday with his golf clubs

and all of his fucking scuba kit but doesn't bring any kegs with him, any underpants. Probably. That's, ah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

I get useless, twat. But he loves a safari. Oh, he loves a safari. He's on to a year, him, he's on to a year.

He's on a safari so much. When he's at home, that's the holiday. Yeah. That's the holiday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Babadoo, babadoo, babadoo, ba. Do do, do,

do, do. Thank you so much for listening and watching this week's episode of Shagmar, now I really need to go and have to go and have to go and have a a wash because this tan is taking over me body. You're overproved. You're overproved.

You've been in the oven far too long. It's absolute hell on. Guys, thank you so, so much for watching. Thank you for listening. Please subscribe on YouTube. Please subscribe on all your little podcast shops. And we're back in the ears next week. And if you want to get in touch,

all the details is on the podcast page. I'm not even going to see the email anymore because I'm a lazy pig. Shagman.com. Show off. Bye. Bye. Love you.

Bye.